


Starstruck II: Saruman's Curse

by StoryRodeo_333



Category: A lot more - Fandom, Harry Potter - Fandom, Lord of the Rings - Fandom, Star Trek: The Original Series, Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universes, F/F, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Multi, Smut, Violence, a ton of original characters, cherry pie, dance battles, drug use in one chapter, races, spoof fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-03
Updated: 2017-03-02
Packaged: 2018-05-11 06:38:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 87
Words: 168,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5617168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StoryRodeo_333/pseuds/StoryRodeo_333
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Get pumped for the best fic you’ll ever read! Join Sam, Dean, Castiel, Captain Kirk, Steve, Harry Potter, Kevin Tran, and some surprise OCs in a magical adventure. The gang runs into the evil wizard, Saruman, and he curses them! They are all doomed to roam alternate universes forever! How will they ever get out?? Find out next week in Starstruck II: Saruman’s Curse!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> We have several authors who wrote these AUs: Father Parpar, Luci, Professor Ashlex, and Mozy. Some guest writers are Pops, Mayhew, and Gace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Father Parpar

The shiny black Impala rumbled down Route 66, on its way to the recently newsworthy city of Flagstaff. There had been many reports of strange deaths within the past couple weeks and the whole thing stunk of witches, probably the worst case the Winchester’s have seen. On this particular hunt, they had along with them Cas, who had been spending a lot more time with them lately, and Kevin, who had some helpful information on this particular city when it came to witches. 

 

They got to the town but the car swerved when a big swirly portal opened up in front of them on the road! Dean stopped the car and they all looked at the portal. Then, someone stepped out of it. It was……….Harry Potter! 

 

Everyone got out of the car as someone stumbled out of the portal, following Harry and attacking him. They wrestled Harry’s attacker away from him. It was… Saruman! He glared at Harry, leaning on his staff, his white robes looking disheveled. Harry pointed his wand at the wizard, his hand shaking visibly. 

 

“You shall not get away with what you have done!” Saruman bellowed, his posture straightening. He was looking more grand by the second. 

 

“No, you will not get away with what you have done!” Harry shot back at him. 

 

“Very well. You must be punished for your actions,” said the grand wizard. Then he turned towards Dean, Sam, Kevin, and Castiel. “And you all will be punished as well for thwarting my attacks.”

 

Saruman knocked his staff on the ground three times. A moment of silence passed through, everything seeming to go still on that stretch of road, as if the world had slowed down and paused. Then, the ground began to rumble and the sky opened up, lightening tearing through the gathering clouds and thunder ripping through the air. The wind picked up and grew faster and windier. Leaves whirled around, creating small tornadoes along their way down the road. Saruman stared at them with a stern expression as the five men stood in their frozen panic, still unable to move. Then, a huge bolt of blue lightning struck the pavement in front of Saruman with a bone chilling BOOM! The bolt stayed, crackling with unimaginable energy, and a swirling hole of green, blue, and pink light opened up at their feet, a massive whirlpool of crackling power. The last thing the five of them saw was Saruman’s icy glare before they were all sucked into the pit, the Impala dragged in behind them.


	2. Adventures at Lawrence High (High school au)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Father Parpar

Dean was slammed onto his feet. When his vision cleared, he found himself standing in a parking lot next to the Impala. He shook his head, trying to clear the fuzziness that still lingered from his intense portal trip. Dean looked around and tried to take in his surroundings. They were standing in the parking lot of a school, specifically…Lawrence High School. Kids were parking and lingering around the front doors. Parents were dropping off their kids, and students wielding backpacks met up with friends at the entrance. 

 

“Sammy? You okay?” he asked, looking around for Sam. When he found him though, it wasn’t the Sam he was expecting…

 

Sam looked like he was fourteen years old again. Kevin and Harry looked a little younger, and Dean didn’t even recognize Cas at first. Dean turned to his car and looked at his reflection in the window. 

 

He was eighteen again. 

 

Dean looked back at everyone else, his mind going numb. Everyone else was looking at each other as well, and looking at themselves in the windows of the Impala. 

 

A kid obnoxiously shoved past Dean, running in the direction of the school. He turned and looked at Dean, smiling.

 

“Hey, Winchester!” he said, pointing. “I hear Lisa is lookin’ for ya inside! You better hurry! She looked mad!”

 

The guy ran off to the school, and the five all looked at each other again. 

 

“This must be Saruman’s curse,” said Harry, pocketing his wand. “He sent us to an alternate universe. I’ve only heard of this curse, I didn’t know it was real.”

 

“Well, what do we do? How do we get back?” asked Dean. “And who are you?”

 

“We can’t do anything. We have to go through this curse and wait for it to end. We have to ‘play the part given to us’ in a sense,” explained Harry. “My name is Harry Potter, by the way.”

 

The others all shook his hand and introduced themselves. 

 

“So, what are you saying? We have to go to school?” asked Dean, growing increasingly panicked at the prospect. 

 

“Yes.”

 

The bell rang and the students that were lingering outside all made their way in. 

 

“Well, if that’s the case, then we’re late,” said Sam, irritably. “And my perfect attendance is ruined.”

 

“Wow Sam. My condolences,” said Dean sarcastically. 

 

“Okay, let’s just stop and figure out what we need to do,” Kevin cut in. “Harry said we need to play the part, so we just need to go to school and be teenagers, right? If that’s the case, shouldn’t we be getting to class?”

 

“I agree,” said Harry. “We should go. We’ll meet during lunch period and discuss our plan further. But for now, we need to get to class.”

 

Harry, Kevin, Cas, and Sam all turned and made their way to the school. Dean stood there shaking his head in disbelief before he hurried to catch up. 

 

As Dean sat through his classes, which, he realized, he already knew his schedule, he began letting go of logical problems that buzzed in his head. Like, the fact that he already knew which classes to go to. Dean stopped questioning it. 

 

Before he went to the cafeteria, he stopped at his locker to drop off his books. But as he approached, there was someone leaning against his locker. As he got closer, he recognized the girl as Lisa, only way younger than he remembered her from last time he saw her. 

 

She looked up when she heard him approach and stepped up to him. Her dark hair was up in a ponytail and Dean could see her cheerleading uniform under her jean jacket. When she stopped in front of him, she raised her hand and struck him across the face.

 

“What the hell was that for?” said Dean, rubbing his cheek. 

 

“Oh, like you don’t know?” she said angrily. “I know you made out with Cassie at that party! You thought I wouldn’t find out? Well I did.”

 

Dean opened his mouth to answer but no words came out.

 

“That’s what I thought!” she said, rushing past him with tears in her eyes. 

 

“Wait! Lisa, I can explain…I can’t explain…” he mumbled. He shook his head, the confusion over what just happened disappearing, being replaced with acceptance. He left his locker and went to lunch. 

 

Dean found his table right away and he made his way to his friends. Sam, Cas, Harry, and Kevin were already there, talking about their classes. They were sitting with a few other people too. One was a girl with short, bright red hair. She wore a turquoise plaid shirt. Dean right away recognized her as Charlie. Sitting on the other side of the table, next to Sam, was a blonde girl that Dean recognized as Jo, and next to her was a teen Ash, mullet and all. Dean took his seat next to Cas, who was sitting next to Harry and Kevin. He was looking incredibly confused and when he looked at Dean, he almost looked a little scared.

 

“Dean, what is going on? Why is no one acknowledging what has happened previously to this?” he asked, trying to keep the panic from his voice. 

 

“What are you talkin about, Cas?” asked Dean, waving to all his friends. 

 

“I’m talking about the fact that this is a curse we are trying to get out of and it seems all of you have forgotten that,” he said, his voice getting angrier. “Dean, do you not remember how you got here? We came through a portal created by the wizard, Saruman, and we landed in the parking lot of this high school.”

 

Dean stared at him with knitted eyebrows for a moment, thinking hard. The thought struck him that he couldn’t seem to remember the day before this. He couldn’t remember going home, or doing homework, and he couldn’t remember driving here this morning. He remembered thinking it was strange that he somehow already knew where his locker and classes were. 

 

It all hit him at once. A blast of memories. The wizard, the storm, the curse, the portal, and coming here. It hit him like a bag of bricks and he was glad he was sitting down, because he might’ve fallen if he wasn’t. He looked at Castiel with wide eyes. 

 

“Cas, we need to tell the others,” he said.

 

“I already tried,” said Castiel, looking over at everyone else. 

 

After lunch was over, the group of friends left the cafeteria, laughing and joking before they had to leave for their next classes. Dean was laughing at something Ash had said when Charlie grabbed his arm and pulled him off to the side, waving at everyone else to keep walking. 

 

“We need to talk,” she said, levelling him with a serious gaze. 

 

“About…”

 

“About Castiel,” she said. Dean raised his eyebrows. 

 

“What about him?” asked Dean. 

 

“Oh puh-leese! Dean, I saw the way he was looking at you and you were looking at him too. You can’t deny the eye fucking that was going on there,” she said, putting her hands on her hips.

 

Dean was about to protest but a shout from behind cut him off. Him and Charlie looked and saw that people were running to the nearby science hall. They followed, out of curiosity, and when they rounded the corner, there was fight! At the center of the crowd, Harry was grappling with a small boy with blonde hair. It was… Collin Creevy! And his butt cheeks were taped together! But Harry can do Jiu Jitsu! He body slammed Collin Creevy! Legendary fight with Collin Creevy! Normal Tuesday afternoon for Collin Creevy! Harry tries to swing an axe at Collin Creevy, but blood is draining fast from his stump leg! He’s dodging every swipe, he parries to the left, Harry catches him in the neck, he’s chopping off his head now! Harry just decapitated Collin Creevy. 

 

Harry walked away from the bloody scene, a shell of a man. His head hung low, he knew that he will be sent to detention for this…

 

But wait! He isn’t dead! Collin surprise! There’s a gun in his hand and death in his eyes! 

 

But just then, the janitor, Filch, came in and broke up the fight.


	3. Eat My Shorts! (Breakfast Club au)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Father Parpar

Saturday detention came without a warning, and the five students arrived, tired and not looking forward to the hours of boredom ahead. Harry entered the library. He wore his blue and white varsity jacket with his wrestling patch on the sleeve. He carried with him his enormous paper bag that held his lunch. The library was quiet. He noticed the empty chair next to Cas, who was wearing a cute outfit that consisted of a brown jacket, pink t-shirt, and a red scarf, at the front of the room and sat down. Sam, who was wearing an inside out green sweater and khakis, was sitting behind them. 

Dean, who was wearing a red plaid shirt with cut off sleeves and a white shirt underneath with black, fingerless gloves, strode into the room, flipping the phone off the receiver and turning a note pad over on his way into the room. He looked around and saw Sam sitting behind Cas. He waved him out of the seat and Sam took a seat at the next table, Dean taking his seat. Then, Kevin, who was wearing a large, dark purple winter coat with a furry hood, came in holding his advanced placement Enochian textbook and an angel tablet. He walked to the very last table and sat in the farthest chair, dropping his books on the floor. So they were all talking normally but then Cas brought up the fact that they don’t belong here.

“What do you mean? We’re all here because we saw Collin and Harry’s fight,” Dean said.

“That’s not what I mean, do you not remember anything?” Cas asked.

Then, suddenly, Vernon burst through the door and pointed at Harry and Kevin.

“You two are the loudest! My office, NOW!” Vernon said.

“But it wasn’t even us!” Harry said back in a somewhat sassy tone.

“That’s it, MY OFFICE NOW!!!!!”

So they sauntered over to him and followed him back to his small and musty office which smelled curiously like weed but they weren’t sure. There were three chairs in Vernon’s office but Harry sat down in the middle one and Kevin sat down on Harry’s lap. Harry didn’t even care either because he thought Kevin was kind of cute in a kind of nerdy way but he would never admit it to anyone. 

“Get off his lap, boy!” Vernon said.

So Kevin hopped of and sat in the seat to the left of Harry. Vernon sat down in his chair and glared at them for a moment in a way that said don’t say a word or I’ll kill you kind of stare. So they sat there and stared at the clock wondering, wishing that detention would come to an end. Vernon took his eyes off them because he had paperwork to fill out for the murder of Collin Creevy.

Back in the library, Dean, Cas, and Sam sat there patiently. But Sam could feel the tension in the air, it was obvious that Cas still had feelings for Dean but he has forgotten everything and has the brain of a dumb high school kid.

“We’re in the library right? There’s got to be a spell book somewhere…” Cas said as he got up and walked to the book shelf.

“Vernon will kill you if he sees that you’re out of your seat, and then he will kill us,” Sam said in a panic (little did Sam know that the word panic originated from the Greek god of nature, Pan, who would yow people in the woods).

“I don’t care I’m an angel,” Cas shouted back besides he knew Vernon ain’t ‘bout to do nothin’.

So about an hour passed by and Cas brought back a book called ‘The book of Spells’ and he flipped to page 666 and saw the spell to open up a portal to an alternate universe. Honestly he didn’t know if it was going to take them back home he just wanted to be anywhere but detention. Cas rattled off the spell like it wasn’t anything and a swirling icy, electric blue portal appeared before his eyes. Immediately Sam backed away but Dean stood next to Cas in front of the portal. 

Meanwhile, Kevin and Harry sat quietly in the small office. Vernon didn’t say anything, doing his paperwork silently. It felt like a half an hour before he finally stood up. 

“I’m going to the bathroom. You two are gonna stay here. Don’t move, don’t talk, or else.”

He left and closed the door behind him. Harry and Kevin looked at each other. 

“Man, that guy’s a piece, ain’t he?” said Harry. Kevin sighed.

“Yeah, he sure is,” said Kevin. Their eyes met just then and a spark passed between them. The stare held, neither of them able to look away, and they just knew that there was something more to their friendship. Harry noticed that Kevin’s hand was hanging off the armrest of the chair, so he reached over and brushed his fingers against his hand. A bolt of electricity ran up Harry’s arm and Kevin laced their fingers together. 

The door swung open and Vernon came back in. Harry and Kevin turned away from each other hurriedly, letting go of their hands, their faces flushed. Vernon didn’t seem to notice and he sat back down, diving right back into his paperwork. 

 

Back in the library Dean and Cas were standing in front of a portal which they weren’t even sure would take them home. Whzzzzzzzzzzzzzz… pop! Another portal opened up behind them and a guy and a girl came tumbling out, slammed into Dean and Cas and they were all flung into the first vortex, leaving Sam behind in the library all by himself. Sam ran for the portal and then jumped but it disappeared just a foot from him, and he fell on his face.


	4. Unexpected Guests (Percy Jackson AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Father Parpar and Mayhew

They were about 15 feet in the air and the four of them were hurled towards the ground. After they hit the ground with a pretty good amount of force the checked if anything was broken, luckily nothing was. Dean and Cas realized that they were in the presence of what looked to be two 18 year old kids in front of them.

 

“Where are we?” Cas said.

 

“How did we get here?” the muscular Chinese Canadian said.

 

“Who are you two?” The pretty Cherokee girl with braids in her hair said.

 

“Ok, I think we’re on the same side as long as you two aren’t demons.” Dean said.

 

“You remember!” Cas said.

 

“Of course I do Cas, what are you talking about?”

 

“Never mind, let’s find out where we are.”

 

So the Cherokee girl who we found out is named Piper and the Canadian Frank, Dean and Cas told them who they were too.

 

“Wait, so you two and your brother hunt down demons and basically everything that goes bump in the night?” Piper said.

 

“And you are an angel of God like the God, not an angel like one of Cupid’s.” Frank asked.

 

“Yep. But I’m confused, you two are demigods but you are son of the roman god Mars, and you’re the daughter of Aphrodite.” Cas asked.

 

“Yeah, obviously, can’t you tell?” Dean said with a wink.

 

“Thanks but I’m taken.” Piper answered back, which made Dean feel like a hoe.

 

“Alright never mind that, let’s find out where we are.” Cas said.

 

So the four of them walked down the dark dock above the beautiful clear blue water in search of anyone at this point because there is no one to be seen.

 

“Look! There’s a castle over there!” said Piper, pointing into the distance. Sure enough, a huge castle loomed over the docks in the dark. The four of them ran to the castle until they came to the giant wooden gates. 

 

“Hey! Who are you folks?” asked a voice from above. They looked up to see a guard looking down at them from the top of the wall. 

 

“We’re lost. Perhaps you could let us speak to someone in charge?” said Cas. The guard looked down at them for a moment before turning and shouting something at someone else. A few guards ran around, then the gates opened up and a guard ushered them in. They went in and the guard led them up to the great castle. 

 

The inside of the castle was just as grand as the outside and the four looked in awe at the halls they were led through. Finally, they came to a set of big, oak, double doors. The guard lifted his hand to knock but the door opened, revealing a beautiful woman with platinum hair and a gorgeous gown. She looked at each of them before dismissing the guard and inviting them in. 

 

The room was spacious, with a fireplace and couches, bookshelves and armchairs, then a large mahogany desk at the back with a huge window behind it, facing out into the courtyard. The queen’s office. The queen took a seat in the high backed chair behind the desk and motioned for them to sit wherever they like. 

 

“The guards told me you were lost?” she said. 

 

“Yes, we came here through a portal trying to escape detention but we don’t know where we are, and now we’re trying to get back,” explained Cas. The woman looked taken aback at that explanation but she cleared her throat and sat up. 

 

“Well, I will try to find a way to get you back to where you came from. In the meantime, you are welcome to stay for as long as it may take. My name is Elsa and this is the Arendelle Castle.”


	5. The Blood of Arendelle (Percy Jackson/Frozen AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Luci

After explaining their situation to Elsa, she agreed to help them find their way back to Sam, Kevin, and Harry. She took Dean, Cas, Frank, and Piper, into the Arendelle Castle library to see if she could find a spell for them to use.

 

“I’ve heard of something like this happening before,” Elsa explained, while they looked through the library. “It happened to a friend of mine recently. It took her forever to find her way home.”

 

“Thanks for the reassurance,” Dean grumbled.

 

“What’s the book called?” Piper called out from somewhere deep in the library.

 

“101 Portals and Magic for Everyday Evil,” Elsa answered.

 

“Why do you even own that?” Frank asked.

 

“Hans left it last time he tried to marry my sister.”

 

After that, the talking died down. The five of them sorted through the library until Cas found the book.

 

“Here it is!” Cas called out. He walked towards Elsa and handed it to her.

 

“Oh perfect! Thank you Cas,” said Elsa. She looked through the book for a minute before finding the page she wanted. “Here it is! Slap Yourself Across the Universe, Version 3.”

 

“Will it work?” Dean asked.

 

“I don’t know, I’ve never tried it.”

 

“Wonderful. Alright, let’s get this over with.”

 

Elsa had her servants gather all the things they needed, which surprisingly wasn’t much. To slap someone across the universe, it was a very simple spell.

 

“Alright, I think that’s everything,” Elsa said, as she added the last ingredient. “Now all we need is someone of Canadian nationality to perform the spell. But Canada’s not even a country yet. I’m sorry, I guess you’re stuck here.”

 

“Wait, Elsa!” Frank said, stepping forwards. “I’m a Canadian.”

 

Dean, Cas, and Elsa gasped. They had never met a Canadian before.

 

Elsa, staring at Frank in awe, handed him the book. Frank took a deep breath and began to read the magical words. “Yo magical portal, sup dawg? Wanna open?” When nothing happened, Frank added, “Please?”

 

Suddenly, the portal opened, appearing to be made of snow. The snow tumbled around inside of the portal, looking like a miniature snow storm.

 

There was only one problem. The portal was way too small.

 

“Way to go, Frank,” Dean said, kneeling besides the portal. “You made a portal for mice.”

 

“Frank, are you a, pure Canadian?” Elsa asked hesitantly.

 

Frank looked down at himself before answering sarcastically, “No?”

 

“That must be the problem then. Let me see that book.” Elsa looked over the spell. “Ah, I see. There is one way we can make the portal bigger.”

 

“What’s that?” they all asked in unison.

 

“In true Disney fashion, we need an act of true love.”

 

Piper and Frank stared at each other for a moment before screaming, “No!”

 

“Alright then I guess we’re out of-“

 

Suddenly, Mars, Frank’s dad, appeared riding a solid gold chariot made of swords pulled by a warthog. * The song The Pride by Five Finger Death Punch blasted in the background.

 

“WIIIIINNNNCHEEESSSSTTTERR!” He bellowed, thunder crashing around him.

 

“What?” Dean responded.

 

“YOU HAVE STOLEN SOMETHING OF MINE!”

 

“Yeah, so?”

 

“AND I WANT IT BACK!”

 

“No! Wait, what did I steal?”

 

“DON’T PRETEND YOU DON’T KNOW!” When Dean didn’t respond with anything more than a confused look he added, “FINE, I’LL GIVE YOU A HINT. IT’S THE FIRST BLADE!”

 

“That doesn’t belong to you! It’s the wrong religion!”

 

“YOU KNOW NOTHING, BOY!”

 

“I find that offensive! And I’m at least 32 in this AU!”

 

“THAT’S IT. YOU HAVE OFFENDED ME FOR THE LAST TIME!” Mars launched himself off of his chariot and at Dean, yelling a mighty battle cry.

 

Dean, not anticipating the attack, was knocked to the ground by the god. Dean tried to fight back, but he was no match for the Roman god of war.

 

“Dad, cut it out you’re embarrassing meeee!” Frank whined.

 

Dean managed to get out of the god’s reach. While he was catching his breath, Mars pulled a gun out of God (or is it gods?) knows where. He aimed it at Dean.

 

“NOW YOU WILL MEET YOUR END!” He aimed the gun and shot.

 

Time seemed to slow down for Cas. Here he was, watching a Roman god shoot his boyfriend. Until about three minutes ago, Cas hadn’t even known Mars existed, but here he was. Cas knew what he had to do, but he wasn’t sure how it would effect him, seeing as they were in another universe. The bullet neared Dean. It was now or never.

 

Time sped up again as Cas jumped in front of the bullet. He felt it rip through his flesh, hitting somewhere just below his heart. He collapsed onto the floor, pain tearing through his body.

 

“Cas!” Dean yelled, kneeling down next to his wounded and bleeding boyfriend. He looked back up at Mars. “What have you done?!”

 

“NEVERMIND HIM, GIVE ME THE BLADE!”

 

Suddenly, Mars’s music came to a screeching halt.

 

“MMMAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRSSSS!!!” came a voice from above, sounding suspiciously like Morgan Freeman.

 

“WHAT? WHO’S THERE?”

 

“IT’S ME, GOD. FROM THE OTHER RELIGION.”

 

“OH HEY GOD. I HAVEN’T SEEN YOU SINCE 301!”

 

“NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR CATCHING UP! YOU HAVE SHOT ONE OF MY ANGLES!”

 

“WHAT, THE WEIRD LOOKING ONE IN THE TRENCH COAT?”

 

“Hey!”

 

“NOT NOW, SON. YES HIM! FOR THAT, I MUST PUNISH YOU!”

 

“AND HOW DO YOU PLAN TO DO THAT?” Mars’s head jerked to the side, accompanied by a loud slapping sound. “OW!”

 

“NOW GET OUT OF HERE!” God roared. “AND DON’T COME BACK!” 

 

Mars, along with his chariot and warthog, disappeared into a cloud of sweat smelling smoke.

 

With Mars gone, God turned his attention to Cas and Dean. “HOW ARE YOU, SON?”

 

“I’m in a lot of pain, dad,” said Cas. “Say, where have you been all this time?”

 

“SAURMON GOT ME. I, TOO, AM FOREVER DOOMED TO ROAM THESE AUS. BUT THERE IS STILL HOPE FOR YOU. LOOK! YOU TAKING THAT BULLET FOR DEAN MADE THE PORTAL GROW WIDER!”

 

“An act of true love,” Dean said, looking down at Cas.

 

“YES, AN ACT OF TRUE LOVE INDEED! NOW GO! FIND YOUR BROTHER AND FRIENDS! JUST BECAUSE I CANNOT LEAVE THROUGH THAT PORTAL DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU CANNOT! YOUR WOUNDS WILL HEAL IN THE NEXT AU.”

 

“But wait, I’m confused.” said Dean.

 

“HI CONFUSED, I’M GOD.”

 

Cas hid his face in his hands. Wining, he said, “Dad, you’re embarrassing me!”

 

Dean ignored them. “Why can’t you leave through the portal?”

 

“THE NEXT AU IS NOT MEANT FOR ME. YOU WILL KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS IN DUE TIME. NOW GO! BEFORE IT CLOSES!”

 

Dean lifted Cas off the ground and made his way towards the portal. “Are you guys coming?” he asked Frank and Piper.

 

“No, we’re going to stay here,” Piper said. “Frank looked into the portal, and that universe isn’t meant for us either. Good luck, though.”

 

“Thanks.” Dean continued walking towards the portal.

 

“HEY, ONE MORE THING!” God called.

 

“What’s that?”

 

“NO MATTER WHAT MY FOLLOWERS MAY SAY, GAY IS OKAY.” 

 

“Thanks God.”

 

“NO PROBLEM AT ALL.”

 

And with that, Dean carried Cas into the portal.


	6. Eat My Shorts! Pt 2 (Breakfast Club AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Father Parpar

Dean and Cas fell onto the carpet of the library, unscathed and teens again. When they stood up, they were met with the surprised face of Sam, looking over his shoulder at them with several pens up his nose. He hurriedly took the pens out of his nose as Dean and Cas stood up and brushed the light dusting of snow from their shoulders that was left from the portal. 

 

Just then, Vernon walked in with Harry and Kevin in tow. 

 

“Alright, listen up you little shits!” he shouted as they all took their seats. “That’s thirty minutes for lunch.”

 

“Here?” asked Harry.

 

“Here.”

 

“Well I think the cafeteria would be a more suitable place for us to eat lunch in, sir,” said Harry.

 

“Well, I don’t care what you think, Harry!” 

 

“Uh, Dick? Excuse me, Rich…will milk be made available to us?” asked Dean. 

 

“We’re extremely thirsty sir…” said Harry. 

 

“I have a very low tolerance for dehydration,” said Cas.

 

“I’ve seen him dehydrate sir, it’s pretty gross,” said Harry. 

 

Dean stood up from his seat and raised his hands. “Relax, I’ll get it,” he said. 

 

“Ah, ah, ah grab some wood there, bub!” said Vernon. Dean smiled and sat back down. Vernon pointed at Harry. “You!” Then he pointed at Kevin. “And you! Hey! What’s his name? Wake up! Wake him up! Come on, on your feet mister! Let’s go! This is no rest home!”

 

Kevin and Harry were walking down the hall in silence. Kevin kept thinking about what happened in Vernon’s office. He thought about how Harry’s eyes were sparkling pools of shimmering emerald. And when their hands touched…there was definitely a spark…

 

Kevin peeked over at Harry and noticed him look away, his face turning red. But when he looked back, their eyes caught and they stopped walking. 

 

Kevin’s breath caught.

 

“Kevin,” said Harry. Kevin decided that he liked the way his name sounded when Harry said it. “There’s no denying that I have feelings for you…and I…I just wanted you to know that…I really care about you and stuff…”

 

“Shh…” Kevin shushed him, putting a finger to Harry’s lips. “It’s okay, I feel the same way.”

 

Their lips collided just then in a hungry, desperate kiss. Neither of them knowing exactly who initiated the kiss. Their tongues fought for dominance as their hands tangled in each other’s hair. Hands began roaming, their bodies pressed even closer together. But all too soon, they broke apart for air.

 

“We should probably go get those drinks…” said Kevin breathlessly. Harry nodded in agreement and they regretfully pulled apart from their passionate embrace to continue down the hall. 

 

 

After lunch, the five were out in the hall, going to Dean’s locker. They had successfully avoided Vernon in his office and they were now making their way down the halls. When they arrived at Dean’s locker, they were all not surprised to find it drawn on with sharpie, and when he opened it, a makeshift guillotine dropped, chopping off the toe of a shoe. He reached in and pulled out a paper bag, then another out of that, then another, then…a bag of weed. He stuffed it in his pocket and they left. Sam was outraged and Kevin was shocked. 

 

They all followed Dean back to the library but as they rounded the corner, they saw Vernon walking down the hall! The five kids took off running in the other direction,* the song Gotta Stop by Prince playing. They bolted down the halls, trying to get back to the library, but they came around the corner, sliding to a stop and running back as Vernon was turning in their direction! They ran, but it seemed everywhere they went, they were just narrowly avoiding Vernon! Dean and Harry argued briefly over which way was better to get to the library, but Harry won and they took his route. But they were stopped! The hallway was closed with a gate! They all ran into it. Dean swore. 

 

“We’re dead!” said Sam.

 

“No, just me,” said Dean.

 

“What do you mean?” asked Sam.

 

“Get back to the library, keep your unit on this!” said Dean, shoving his bag of weed into Sam’s pants. He then, took off down the hall, singing Wanted Dead or Alive.

 

Back at the library, the others all made it back without getting caught. Dean’s distraction had worked. But not without consequences. Vernon found him and took Dean to a closet. 

 

“That’s the last time, Dean. That’s the last time you make me look like a fool in front of those kids, do you hear me? I make 31,000 dollars a year and I have a home and I’m not about to throw it away on some punk like you…but someday, man, someday. When you’re outta here and you’ve forgotten all about his place… and they’ve forgotten all about you and you’re wrapped up in your own pathetic life… I’m gonna be there. That’s right. And I’m gonna kick the living shit outta you, man, I’m gonna knock your dick in the dirt!” Vernon was in Dean’s face now. 

 

“Are you threatening me?” asked Dean. 

 

“What’re you gonna do about it? You think anybody’s gonna believe you? You think anybody’s gonna take your word over mine? I’m a man of respect around here. They love me around here, I’m a swell guy…you’re a lying sack of shit! And everybody knows it! Oh, you’re a real tough guy huh… come on, come on… get on your feet, pal! Let’s find out how tough you are! I wanna know right now how tough you are! Come on! I’ll give you the first punch, let’s go! Come on, right here, just take the first shot! Please, I’m begging you, take a shot! Come on, just take one shot, that’s all I need, just one swing…”

 

Dean was staring back at Vernon with wide eyes. Vernon raised his fist, making like he’s going to punch Dean and Dean flinched. 

 

“That’s what I thought…” said Vernon. “You’re a gutless turd!” 

 

Dean stared at him, hardly believing that Vernon said those things. But as he stared at Vernon, he began to recognize him as someone other than the Vice Principle…Vernon didn’t have a long white beard…did he? Then it hit him! This wasn’t Vernon! This was Saruman! 

 

“I know who you are,” said Dean. He had to get to the others…

 

“What are you talking about?” he snapped. 

 

“You’re the wizard, Saruman! The one who put us here!” 

 

Saruman took a step back and glared at Dean. Dean glanced at the door and weighed his chances of escape. Saruman noticed this and stepped in front of the door. 

 

“You’re not getting out of here…” he growled. He opened the door and stepped out, locking it from the outside. Dean got up and tried to open the door but it wouldn’t budge. But five minutes later, Dean had climbed into the ceiling and began crawling back to the library.

 

 

Cas sat on one of the tables in the library, the others lounging in the chairs. They talked about their weekend plans and Vernon when, all of a sudden, they heard a loud crash and a shout from across the library! A few seconds later, Dean came striding down the steps, shaking ceiling dusk from his hair. He stopped when he saw everyone looking at him.

 

“I forgot my pencil,” he said. They all stared at him. “Okay, actually, I have to tell you something. Vernon isn’t who he says he is.”

 

“What do you mean?” asked Cas. 

 

“He’s not Vernon. He’s not the vice principle! This is gonna sound crazy but he’s actually an evil wizard named Saruman. He put this curse on us. We aren’t supposed to be here,” Dean tried explaining. Everyone just stared at him, confused. But gradually, their eyes cleared and realization came across their faces. A loud pop sounded from behind Dean. He turned around and saw that the hole in the ceiling he fell through had turned into a swirling vortex of purple light. He looked back at everyone.

 

“I guess that’s our way out…” said Sam. 

 

And after several minutes of stacking tables and chairs, they managed to climb up and through the portal. 

 

Then their vision went black.


	7. Kokomo (Stranded on an Island AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Father Parpar

The waves crashed onto the beach, pushing their way up the sand. The water shoved and pulled at the five bodies that laid on the beach. A slight breeze blew across the island, rustling through the palms and ferns. 

Dean lifted his head, groaning. He looked around not recognizing his surroundings. His eyes caught the others laying in the sand around him and he got up. He went to Sam first, rolling him over and shaking him awake. Then to Cas, who was already sitting up and shaking his head. 

“Cas are you okay?” he asked. “Is everyone okay?”

Harry and Kevin sat up, groaning. Where are we? Dean thought. How did we get here? But then, he noticed, down the beach, was the wrecked fishing boat, and he remembered. They had been out on the water fishing when the storm hit. Dean thought they were dead, but apparently, the currents brought them to land. They were all delivered safely to the shore. But what shore…?

The five of them clumsily made their way to the wrecked fishing Drifter. There was a big ol’ hole in the side, and a tall, sharp rock was impaled through the entire boat. The main mast was broken in half, laying in the sand, the torn up sail draped across the wood pieces and rocks. When they got to the boat, they searched the ruins for Captain Benny. They didn’t have much hope of finding him, but they still needed to look. In the end, they found his broken body in the bridge, impaled on his own collection of antique harpoons. His beard was bloody and he lay face down, propped up on three harpoons which stuck through is back. After shedding some tears, they all said a prayer and then left, off to explore the island. 

The island wasn’t very big. One could walk around the perimeter of it within a few hours. Sand and rock hemmed the island, creating picturesque beaches. The inside on the island, however, was solid forest. The fern and palms were thick and vines hung from the high branches. Tropical flowers and lush foliage exploded within the forest. The thick, hot, tropical air made the five men sweat as they made their trek into the brush. 

But when they found the very center of the island, they all stopped, their jaws dropping. Kevin gasped. Before them was a magical oasis, shimmering and glittering. The clearing in the forest was a carpet of moss, dotted with tiny light blue and orange and purple flowers. In the center of that was a sparkling pool of crystal clear water. A small waterfall poured over glassy rock into the pool, creating glittering ripples in the water. Lush foliage bloomed from the cracks and crevices of the rock, and in those cracks, one could see the glow of rainbow, geode crystals inside. It was magnificent…absolutely magnificent. They looked up and they saw the clear sky peering down at them through the clearing of the canopy. 

That night, they were all camped out in the clearing, feet dangling in the water. They all were laid on their backs, looking up at the stars. They had never seen so many stars in their lives. The galaxy stretched across the sky in a dusty belt of blues, purples, and pinks. The five exhausted men finally fell asleep under the comforting blanket of stars, dreaming of gurgling waterfalls and sparkling beaches. 

When they awoke in the morning, they all agreed that they needed to make a plan. Kevin and Harry went to find food, while Dean and Cas agreed to stay back to keep a fire going and build a shelter. Sam, who was an independent man who didn’t need no Dean, went off on his own to see how big the island was. 

To* the song Kokomo, by the Beach Boys, the days on the island passed by with ease. Kevin and Harry frolicked on the white sand beaches while looking for food. Dean and Cas kept the fire going in their clearing. They even built a small shelter out of palm fronds. Sam continued his lonely walk around the island, the clear, turquois water lapping at his bare feet. The island was so beautiful that they were actually enjoying their time there. Every evening, Dean, Cas, Sam, Kevin, and Harry sat on the beach, their toes in the sand, enjoying an ice cold beer, watching the stars rotate in the sky. Enjoying each other’s presence was more than anyone could ask for and the beauty of the island put them all at ease. Dean felt as though he never wanted to leave. The shared kisses in the moonlight…hands on sun kissed skin…bodies in the sand, Dean and Cas perfected their chemistry, and defied a little bit of gravity…the dreamy look in Cas’s eyes gave Dean a tropical contact high…they fell in love, all over again, to the rhythm of a steel drum band…way down in Kokomo…………

One night, Dean and Cas were left alone in the clearing, the others spending the night on the beaches. They had long since let the fire go out, knowing no one would ever find them there. The clearing was even more beautiful at night. The crystals shone through the rocks, casting a rainbow glow on the area. The moss was vibrant in the starlight and the flowers reflected the silvery moonlight. The water of the pool swirled and glowed light blue and the waterfall shined blue as it cascaded over the glasslike rocks that reflected the starlight and the rainbow glow, making a rainbow galaxy glint off the tops. 

The scene took Dean and Cas’s breath away every time. This particular night, the pair was lounging in the spring. The water was smooth and warm on their skin. They sat in comfortable silence, listening to the distant waves on the beach and the bubbling of the waterfall. But when their eyes caught, Dean’s breath caught in his throat. Cas’s eyes were reflecting the glow of the water and the sparkle of the stars, making his eyes bluer than he had ever seen before. Something deep within him stirred, his whole being brimming with love for this man, and before Dean knew what was happening, their bodies were pressed together. Their lips met in a searing kiss and Dean wanted to touch every part of Cas, he wanted to wrap him up and touch every inch of him. His hands roamed. Cas’s right hand was tangled in Dean’s hair, deepening the kiss, and his other hand roamed across his back, leaving a trail of heat wherever it went. Their tongues explored each other’s mouths, tangling and fighting for dominance. 

Dean gripped the inside of Cas’s leg, making him moan into his mouth. He kept massaging the sensitive spot and the noises Cas was making, made Deans head spin. His fingers inched further up and bumped against Cas’s erect penis. Dean took it in his fist and began stroking it, running his thumb over the tip occasionally. Cas gasped and moaned, but Dean just held him tighter, his stroking getting faster. He planted breathy kisses along Cas’s jaw and down his neck, nipping at his earlobe. Cas bucked his hips into Dean’s hand and Dean started moving faster, Cas getting louder until finally, he came, gasping Dean’s name.

They both held each other, out of breath. Cas shook and twitched from the exhaustion of the intense orgasm. They climbed out of the pool and laid on the soft moss, gazing up at the stars, their chests still heaving. Cas reached over and touched Dean’s hand, and Dean laced their fingers together. They looked at each other, their eyes sparkling. The moss beneath their bare bodies was soft and relaxing and the flowers around them gave off a heavenly aura and scent. Cas leaned over Dean, putting his hands on either side of his head and looked down at him. Dean wound a hand into his hair behind his head and pulled him down for a kiss. It was soft and so much more delicate than the last. But Dean deepened it and pulled Cas down, flush against him. Cas rubbed his knee against Dean’s groin, which was hardening fast. Cas was kissing him everywhere: his neck, his chest, his face, and he kept going lower, kissing his stomach and then lower. Dean felt his hot breath on his dick, then felt lips, wrapping around the tip. Cas swirled his tongue around the tip as he sucked Dean down, soon swallowing Dean entirely. Dean moaned and sighed beneath Cas, and he reveled in the sounds. Cas moved him faster in and out, and Dean moved his hips in the same rhythm. They got faster and faster before Dean yelled out, his back arching, his legs wrapped tightly around Cas, and his fingers digging into his shoulders. Cas swallowed him and then pulled away, kissing Dean on the mouth again. Dean could taste himself in Cas’s kiss. 

They laid together, wrapped in each other’s embrace, and fell asleep under the protection of the stars. 

The next morning, the five men all sat on the beach. They sat in silence, not having much to say between the men who spent months on an island with each other. But then Kevin stood up and pointed into the distance. 

“Look!” he shouted. The others stood and looked where he was pointing. There was a spot on the horizon. A ship! And it was headed straight for their island! As it got closer, the men saw that it was huge and silver. Finally, it docked itself on the shore, the words USS Enterprise painted on the side. Two men disembarked from the ship and strode up to the five confused men. 

“We’ve been looking for you guys for so long!” said the tall boy with long hair. “Thank god we finally found you!”

“Steve, I don’t think they know who we are,” said the man who looked like the captain. 

“What do we do?” asked Steve.

“Guys, you are in a curse. We’re here to get you out,” explained the man. “My name is James Kirk, and this is my boyfriend, Steve.”

Recognition glinted in their eyes. They recognized these two men!

“That’s right!” said Dean. “I remember now! Saruman cursed us!”

Cas looked at him with wide eyes, remembering everything. Just then, a bright light came from behind them. It was coming from the clearing! They all ran to the clearing and were surprised when the entire clearing was alight with a rainbow glow. It was coming from the crystals, and the pond was glowing brightly with rainbow light. The water swirled around in the pond and the waterfall seemed to have stilled. They all looked at each other.

“This is it,” said Harry. 

“Ready everyone?” said Kevin. They all nodded and joined hands, then jumped into the pond.


	8. Hotel Winchester (Hotel Manager AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Mozy

Sam and Dean sat across from the young man, eyeing him warily. He had brought his surfboard inside with him. It was propped up next to him, dripping.

 

“Ok, Steve, so what special qualifications do you bring that would make you a good addition to the Hotel Winchester family?”

 

The young man swung his head, sending a wave of blond bangs to go flying. “I was thinking I would make a good lifeguard. I’m a surfer, so…yea.”

 

Sam and Dean exchanged strange looks. Sam spoke first, “This is Michigan. Lake Huron doesn’t exactly throw the wicked curls.” 

 

The three men sat looking at each other for several protracted seconds. Finally Steve responded.

 

“Yea, still, right? I can swim well and isn’t that what counts?”

 

The brothers scanned over Steve’s job app and both heaved a sigh. Dean said, “Ok, dude, you’re hired. And if you mentioned being a surfer so we would eventually transfer you to one of our tropical hotels—well, what the hell, can’t hurt to try, right? Head over to the front desk and ask Helen to hook you up with your paperwork. Show up here tomorrow at 8 am for training.”

 

Steve stood up and shook the brothers hands. “Cool. So wait, you guys own hotels in the tropics too…?”

 

Dean turn Steve toward the front desk and gave him a little shove. “Don’t play brand new, Steve. And, welcome aboard.”

 

 

The two men turned to head toward the hotel restaurant but were met by the chef as he stormed toward them. Chef Potter was smoking at the collar.

 

“Misters Winchester! May I have a word with you?” The brothers barely nodded before he launched into his tirade.

 

“I have asked repeatedly for my spice order to be expedited! How am I supposed to bring life to our Mediterranean menu without my Machalepi?”

 

“I did order your Kala Jeera and Grains of Paradise, Harry. Your spices aren’t always easy to locate, especially since you want them all organic.”

 

“It is obvious you do not understand my peril! Grains of Paradise and Kala Jeera for Mediterranean cooking? You know nothing of international cuisine. I am a chemist in the kitchen. An alchemist! I make magic, yes, but I am no wizard! I need the proper spice!”

 

“Ok, got it Harry. You’ll get your Machalepi. Relax. Now, what’s for lunch?”

 

“Nothing right now. Don’t come until later—my flavors haven’t had time to marry. I am going over to Kevin’s yoga class to regain my spiritual balance. See me after.” With that Harry Potter stormed away.

 

 

Sam and Dean walked through the hotel lobby toward the hallway leading to all the choicest hotel amenities. A line of people snaked through the hallway, leaning against the wall, some chatting amongst themselves, others slouched down, reading or playing on their phones. 

 

Dean scrunched his face. “What is this about? Are we selling tickets to a Justin Timberlake concert, or something? What’s with the line of people?”

 

Sam shook his head. “No concert. They are waiting in line for a reading with our new in-house psychic.”

 

“You gotta be kidding.”

 

They walked up to the office door just as a woman was walking out, her face in her hands and her chest heaving with sobs. She bumped into the brothers in the doorway, looked up with tear-stained eyes and screamed, “Oh my god, he’s a freak. An amazing freak!!!”

 

 

The brothers walked into the office and could hear the collective objections of the waiting line. Sam stuck his head out the door. “Give us five minutes…company business.” The people at the front of the line rolled their eyes in unison.

 

“Hello, Dean. Sam.” Cas looked up from the table, a smile splitting his face. “Thankfully I was able to give that last woman some good news. I was starting to fear for my life.”

 

Dean looked at Sam. “I don’t believe we’ve net yet…?”

 

Cas crinkled his nose. “Dang, I forgot,” he whispered under his breath. He reset his approach. 

 

“Hi, I’m Castiel. You’re Sam, and you’re Dean.” He extended his hand to each.

 

Dean looked at Sam again. “Who hired him? If neither of us knows him?”

 

“Guys, please, sit and let me give you a reading. Don’t worry about that line out there, I’ll be quick.”

 

Sam and Dean gave each other a look and a shrug, and sat down.

 

Cas began, facing first toward Sam. “Ok, let me short-story this: Sam, you like your life as a hotelier, it’s fun and who can complain about the world travel to exotic and exciting places, right? You like the semblance of normalcy although most people wouldn’t consider sleeping in different beds all the time normal. But the work is a little under the level of your intellect, so you enjoy scouting and negotiating your new acquisitions best. Kind of like hunting new properties. Good so far?”

 

Sam nodded, and Cas continued. “Dean, you like the luxury your lifestyle allows you, not least of which is the all the attention from beautiful women. You have everything at your disposal but you feel restless all the time. You aren’t tied down to one location because you travel between all your hotels frequently. But that isn’t enough to scratch the itch that you should be more productive as you move from place to place. Supplying people with powder soft beaches and umbrelled drinks isn’t serving your life’s purpose, is it? You are always hunting for something to fill that hole.”

 

Dean frowned.

 

“What I’m getting at, gentlemen, is deep down you know something is out of whack. You aren’t where you’re supposed to be. You have gone into some rip in the time/space continuum and I need to get you out. I need to return you to your normal life, which is far less luxurious and far more dangerous. So, what do ya say? On board?”

 

“Who are you? Captain Kirk or something? What the hell is going on?” There was actual fear in Dean’s eyes. Sam looked equally perplexed. Cas knew he had hit a chord. Dawning began to show in their eyes. 

 

“I know it’s way out there, but it has a ring of truth nonetheless, doesn’t it?”

 

Silence bloomed between them. 

 

“Oh, my god.”

 

“Yep.”

 

“You’re something more than…human. I remember, I think?”

 

“Yes, Sam. I’m an Angel.”

 

“Well, that explains the line outside for your psychic readings.” Cas and Sam looked at Dean, then nodded resignedly. 

 

Suddenly Sam was seized by a gripping pain, and he thrashed his head from side to side. Dean grabbed him by his shoulders, and pulled him close.

 

“Sammy! Are you ok?”

 

“Dean, he’s telling the truth. I see it, I see what he is saying.”

 

Cas spoke softly. “He’s having a vision, Dean. This is a gift Sam has in his true life.”

 

“Wow, a gift that kicks you in the head. Musta come from Bad Santa.”

 

Suddenly Sam grabbed Dean by the head and pulled their foreheads together. The vision was transferred into Dean’s mind. When it ended they shot apart from each other, falling back into their chairs. 

 

“Oh, Damn. Damn, Damn, Damn. What the hell are we supposed to do now?”

 

Cas felt sympathy, but knew better than anyone what came next. “Go about this life as you know it. Enjoy what’s left of it as we hunt for our portal and our way back home. All things considered, this is one of the better alternative lives we’ve fallen into.”


	9. Hotel Winchester Pt 2 (Hotel Manager AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Mozy

The Brothers Winchester exited the back doors of the hotel and wound their way through the beautifully landscaped grounds to the sand of Lake Huron. Looking out over the placid lake, Dean spoke first.

 

“I don’t know what to think, Sam. And you know I don’t like admitting that.”

 

“Yea, well, I know Cas is telling the truth. I saw it in that vision and it was the kind of “seeing” that you know is real. This life feels real too. That’s why it’s so weird.” They took a seat at a wrought iron table on the patio.”

 

A woman approached the table and set down a small tray of appetizers in front of Sam and Dean. “Compliments of Chef Harry. I think it’s an act of contrition for being so snippy.” She sat down opposite the men. Dean began to speak but then stopped himself; Sam just regarded her silently. She had shoulder length sable hair with a coppery cast when the sun hit it, and wide gray eyes. She looked young but wise at the same time and neither man recognized her.

 

“Since we do the hiring here, we would know that you are not employed at this hotel.” Sam showed no sign of distress or irritation, but rather a little intrigue.

 

“Correct.”

 

“And you are…?”

 

“My name is Ezri.”

 

“Hello, Ezri, my name is Sam, and this is my brother, Dean.”

 

“Yes, I know.”

 

Dean was losing patience with the exchange. “Ok, Ezri, enough cat and mouse. What’s up with you? What’s your story? The last employee I didn’t recognize turned out to be an angel.”

 

“Yes, well I am your Spirit Guide, Dean. Yours and Sam’s.”

 

“A Spirit Guide, but not a spirit, an actual person. And we share one? Aren’t we supposed to each get our own?” 

 

“Yea, most do. But not you two. Budget cuts I guess.”

 

“Geezus.”

 

Sam waved Dean off. “What is your part in this mess, Ezri?” 

 

Dean’s aggravation was reaching a boiling point, “And what do we need a spirit guide for when we have an Angel? Isn’t that like sending a hospital janitor to assist a surgeon?”

 

Ezri’s eyebrows shot up. “Wow. What a dickish comment. But fair enough, I guess. You’re right, I can’t work the magic an angel can; I come when you need comfort and emotional support.”

 

“The “let’s hug it out” brigade! I’ve friggin’ heard it all. If I need comfort I’ll go get spiritually realigned at Kevin’s yoga class.” Dean stood up and left abruptly.

 

Sam sighed deeply. “Never mind him. He’s just rude.”

 

Ezri smiled. “No worries, Sam. I come with what’s needed when I’m needed. I’ll come to Dean when he needs me.”

 

Sam nodded, then hesitated. “Well, then I guess that means you’re here for me.”

 

“This time. Yes.”

 

“Why me?”

 

“Because you may have the most struggle with leaving this life for another. You are comfortable living a stable life. In fact, the life you will be trying to return to, a life of uncertainty and danger with no place to call home and no partner to lay with at night, isn’t the one you would have chosen.

 

Let me add this, before you tell me you have no partner here and you travel a lot between your hotels: The travel and change of beds is why this life doesn’t feel completely strange to you, but in this world these are your hotels, not the hot sheets and flea bags you stay at because it’s all you can afford. And you being single is temporary.”

 

They sat quietly for a long time. Long enough for Ezri to feel the need to break the silence.

 

“Sam?”

 

He snapped back to attention. “Sorry. Come on, let’s walk.” He stood and headed straight for the path that led to the wooded hotel grounds, which were park-like in their expanse. They covered more than half a mile before Sam stopped, where he sat on a bench tucked into an alcove. 

 

“You’re right. I like my life, who wouldn’t? But I know there is something missing from it, something I don’t actually miss, but yet do, if that even makes sense. But right now all I feel is an overwhelming sense of loneliness, like I can’t slow down, even for a minute, and every time I move it tears up any roots that might have set. There could be roots here, but there won’t be, and I guess shouldn’t be, if this is a false life. The only constant I have, or ever will have, in my life is Dean. I love him, but … I don’t want a string of one nighters. I prefer my relationships to mean something. How can they when we keep moving?”

 

Ezri sat beside him and took his hand in hers. “You had imagined a more traditional life for yourself, and don’t see it happening. I know. I’m sorry Sam.”

 

Sam turned and looked into her eyes, gray like a stormy sky but warm and inviting to him just the same. He understood and appreciated the irony: What looks like home is sometimes cold and turbulent. He leaned in and met her lips, first softly, testing the water, then more committed, letting himself fall against her. She welcomed him, ran her hands over his face, down his body and wrapped her arms around his waist. They spent the next hour on the bench, on each other, and continued back at the hotel, where Ezri left Sam thoroughly used and satiated, out cold, and sleeping straight through til evening.

 

 

Dean was sitting at the Winchester’s private table in the hotel restaurant. It had emptied out considerably, but still had a sprinkling of late diners. He threw back a shot and followed it with a beer, then motioned for his waiter to bring him another round. His foot rattled under the table. He looked up and scowled when Ezri approached the table and sat down.

 

“Oh, you.”

 

Ezri motioned “two” to the waiter, who returned with the next round of drinks to a silent table. She matched his shot, then sipped her beer. 

 

“An angel who can take a belt. Nice.”

 

“I’m not an angel, I’m a spirit guide. But I hear Cas can hoist one fairly well.”

 

“Whatever. What do you need the alcohol for? You’re supposed to bring the comfort, not take it.”

 

“I don’t get to experience a human body too often. There are some sensations that are nice to revisit.” She smiled to herself.

 

Dean hmpfd, “Yea, about that. Nice of you to screw with Sam’s head. Don’t we have enough to deal with already? Alternate universe, finding a portal, this isn’t our real life…and you come along…

 

“Dammit!!! Sam will fall for you, Ezri! How is that helping him?” Dean’s voice rose in pitch with the question.

 

“Dean, Sam comprehends this situation, if not fully, then he’s beginning to. You have no problem looking for temporary comfort with a string of anonymous and meaningless encounters. But you begrudge your brother something he can feel in his soul? Selfish much? Actual feelings: don’t knock it til you try it.” 

 

Dean looked affronted but Ezri continued. “I guarantee you that my presence doesn’t interfere with your human lives. I tend to your spirit. I come with what is needed, when it’s needed to who needs it.”

 

“So apparently the way to a man’s soul is through his … And now you’re here, so I guess it’s my turn. And what is it I need, Ezri? Some of the sexual healing you gave Sam? Because I’m not about to poach my brother’s swag.”

 

“That just happened to be what he needed, Dean. Maybe you just need someone to talk to, or who’ll listen.”

 

“No thanks.”

 

“Yea, that’s easier, I guess. And it’s not my job to convince you to do anything, just to be here for you, which I am. Do what you want with that information.” She drained her beer. She lifted her hand toward the waiter, circled it in the air to indicate another round. 

 

Dean fidgeted in his seat, slammed his beer and pushed the empty glasses toward the waiter coming with their next drinks. He tilted his shot and half the beer before speaking.

 

“Dammit if that angel didn’t nail it. And I can’t believe I just said out loud that I got a psychic reading from an ANGEL. But there is no doubt he knows something, because that is stuff I never even discussed with Sam. Who has the stones to complain about a life like this?! But damn if I don’t feel exactly like he said, like I belong somewhere else, serving a greater purpose than just supplying luxury to the wealthy.”

 

He finished the beer in one swallow. Several long, empty seconds passed before he continued. “And I’m restless as hell. That’s why I travel between my hotels so often, and maybe why I’m bouncing from bed to bed. I feel like I’d better never get used to being comfortably in one place. What the hell.” He said it as a statement, not a question. 

 

Dean stood and started toward the rear exit of the restaurant, toward his office. “I have to get out of here. I can’t be seen drunk on my own property, and that liquor is gonna hit soon enough. My office is up the hall, I’m gonna go finish drinking there.”

 

He walked on, Ezri matching him step for step. When they reached the front desk Dean alerted the clerk on duty that he was off for the night and in the event of an emergency she should contact Sam. They continued on to the office.

 

“You’re still here?”

 

Ezri nodded. “Which means you aren’t done needing me yet.”

 

Dean sized her up. “Explain this concept to me again. Why do I need a spirit guide when I supposedly have an angel? Doesn’t he outrank you? Have superpowers compared to you?”

 

Ezri crossed the threshold of the office. “Yea, by comparison I’m pretty unimpressive, I guess. I can’t change fate for you, and I can’t see the past and future the way angels do. I can offer advice and bring you comfort when times are most dire and confusing. It may not have the shock and awe of the angels, but it’s got its perks to it, doesn’t it? You seem better than you were before I joined you.”

 

Dean closed the door and closed the gap slightly between them. 

 

“Yea, but I wish I could feel as good as Sam did after you left. You must have rocked his world; I haven’t seen him all afternoon.”

 

“I’m here for both of you.”

 

“I don’t think Sam would like that.”

 

“I told you that Sam has a fair grasp of this situation. Unusual as it is.”

 

Dean closed the gap even further, until Ezri was up against the wall.

 

“So are we gonna do this?”

 

“I guess so…”

 

Dean’s lips pressed into hers with urgency. His tongued danced against hers as his hands traced the curves of her body. He scooped her into his arms and carried her to his couch, where he fell on top of her. Their bodies melted together as Dean gave in to his need, and he felt the release of all the uncertainty, fear and pain he had in his life, as he let Ezri into his soul. 

 

As they lay together afterward, he sighed contentedly against her chest as he realized that she had been telling the truth: he felt recharged and whole, like going through a factory reset, and he knew that Sam would not mind that he had taken that gift from her. He was glad when he realized that Sam had gotten the same soul cleansing he had.


	10. Hotel Winchester Pt 3 (Hotel Manager AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Mozy

Dean woke and stared up at the ceiling, hands crossed behind his head. He was alone, and wondered longingly if he had seen the last of Ezri, but the overwhelming feeling of contentment that ran through him was enough to fortify him with strength to move forward with what must come next.

 

He walked to the hotel restaurant and sat across from Sam at their private table in the hotel restaurant. He poured himself coffee from the carafe on the table. Dean hadn’t slept in the suite he and Sam shared last night, a fact that hadn’t escaped Sam’s attention. “Same outfit as yesterday. You’re gonna wanna do something about that, before the employees notice.”

 

Dean looked down at himself. “Geez, yea.”

 

Sam gave him a warm smile over the top of his coffee.

 

“Like being reborn, wasn’t it?”

 

Dean hesitated. It still felt weird.

 

“It’s ok Dean.”

 

“Yea, Sam. That’s an understatement. I guess we needed the recharge to get ourselves back on track. Are things as clear to you as they are to me?”

 

“I think so. I’m living the life I’ve built for myself and feeling more and more alien to it with each passing minute.”

 

“Exactly.”

 

“Maybe Cas can help.”

 

 

The brothers walked past the line outside Cas’ office door, marveling. It was just as long as yesterday with an entirely new cast of faces. Best. Psychic. Ever.

 

The brothers pardoned themselves for cutting the line and entered the office as a client was leaving. Cas looked up and greeted them with a smile, which became clouded with confusion after a closer examination of the men before him.

 

“Um, guys, you appear to have a whole different perspective about you today. Sudden revelation?”

 

Dean answered, “Yesterday was a big day, Cas. First we were touched by an angel, and later we were touched by a spirit guide.” He winked to punctuate his point. “With her help the…situation…somehow became clearer to us. We understand that we’ve got some supernatural work ahead of us. The hunt for a portal.”

 

A sadness swept through Castiel as he realized that while Dean and Sam had apparently gotten on board with the alternate universe conundrum, Dean was unaware of the relationship that existed between them. He resolved himself to be patient, knowing that it could be awhile before they were back home and back to normal.

 

“So, Cas, where do we start?” Sam gave him a quizzical look, wondering what could be clouding the angel’s mood so suddenly.

 

“I’m pretty sure a good place to start will be with your cook. I think he’s going to be the key to us locating our portal.”

 

Dean chuckled, “Don’t let him hear you calling him a cook! He’s a chef. That’s like calling a supermodel cute.” 

 

“Ok, whatever. See Harry.”

 

 

Sam and Dean swung past the front desk to pick up a package, then met Harry in the kitchen, where he was bent over a large pot of soup. 

 

“Harry, your Machalepi has arrived.”

 

Harry turned on them, snatching the package from Sam’s hands. 

 

“Well, by Merlin’s Beard it’s about time. My grandfathers are coming to the restaurant for dinner today, and coming damn near from Middle Earth that’s how far! I feared I would be unable to give them a proper taste of Cypress.”

 

“Yea, well, problem solved. Why are your Grandpas coming here? Can’t just be the Greek pudding.”

 

“It was their idea to visit, in fact. Who am I to interrogate my Grandfathers?! But I am thrilled whatever their reason. And they will have occasion to meet my Kevin.”

 

Sam and Dean exchanged knowing looks. Sam smiled at Harry warmly. “We would love to meet your grandfathers, who are apparently traveling very far to visit our place. Please be sure to introduce us. We mean it, Harry. Don’t forget us.”

 

“I would never. Now leave my kitchen so you do not witness the magic.”

 

 

Ten hours later Dean and Sam were sharing shots of a designer liquor invented by the alchemist Harry, with two longhaired, bearded and robed men. Harry, snuggled up against Kevin, glowed with happiness.

 

“Pop Dumbledore and Gran Gandalf, I am so happy that you came today! It seems another lifetime since I’ve seen you. Especially you, Gran.”

 

“Hopefully we will be together again soon, Harry. And able to see each other more regularly.”

 

Harry stood and hugged both grandpas, then excused himself. “I need to take a look into my kitchen to make sure it is properly clean for the morning. I’ll be right back.” Kevin followed him dutifully.

 

Alone together at the table, the two older men faced the brothers. Dumbledore spoke first. “It’s clear to us that you two are aware of the situation at hand. We have come in hopes that we can help.” 

 

“Do you know anything about this supposed portal we should be looking for?”

 

Gandalf jumped in, “Not precisely, but we believe it has something to do with a kid here named Steve. And his surf board.”

 

Dean just shook his head. “How?”

 

“Well, that may be the vehicle needed to find the spot, as it were. We are thinking that you may have arrived into this realm via water of some sort, and that his board, or something like it, will be the vehicle out. We think the portal will not be found on land, but rather over the water.”

 

“Soooo, what are we supposed to do with a surf board on a lake in Michigan?” Sam weighed in on the conversation.

 

Gandalf took one final shot of Harry’s special elixir. “We understand there is a thing known as boogie boarding, where one rides in on the small waves…”

 

“Yes, we are aware of boogie boarding.”

 

“Well, we think you will need to paddle out on boards of this type. All of you.”

 

Dean looked confused. “Wait, how many of us are stuck here?”

 

“You two, Harry and Kevin, Cas, and Steve. We think once you are out on the water, together, the portal will become apparent. But it must be done at sunset, when the last of the sun, along with any moonlight beginning in the sky, turn the surface of the water to liquid silver. That is the only way you will see it.”

 

“Wow…”

 

Sam tapped Dean on the shoulder. “Dean, Steve has scheduled a Sunset Surf tomorrow on the beach. It’s essentially exactly this: floating on boards and rafts on the lake to watch the sun set.”

 

“He has? Didn’t we just hire him? Like yesterday?”

 

“Uh, yea, I guess we did. What the hell is going on here? Did we lose a chunk of time somewhere along the way?”

 

“Gentlemen!” Dumbledore interrupted. “Time is a relative concept, especially when dealing with tears in the continuum. Do not get bogged down in the details. If there is an event matching this description tomorrow evening, I recommend you get the entire group of you together and be sure to attend it. Gandalf and I will attend with you.”

 

Dean surveyed their robes, eyeing them warily. “Did you bring swim suits?”

 

“In fact, Dean, we did,” They replied in unison.

 

 

Dean and Sam headed back toward their suite after bidding everyone goodnight. Once behind closed doors Sam collapsed his long frame on the couch in the living room, which was situated between their bedrooms. Dean went right to the kitchen and met him back at the sofa with four beers in his hands. They cracked and slammed the first one before either spoke, then settled in on their seconds.

 

“Dean, I’m feeling really conflicted about this.”

 

“I know, Sammy, so am I.”

 

“I mean, I know, I guess on an internal level, that we have to pursue this – because weird as it all is it also feels like its right. But what about this world? What happens when…if…we leave it? Will it be wiped from history, as if it never happened at all? If it actually exists, will it collapse?”

 

“I know Sam, I’ve thought of that too. There are people here, with lives and families that we know, that we help to support via the jobs in our hotels. What happens to them if we don’t exist here?”

 

“What are we supposed to do? I’m not unhappy here, Dean. What if…”

 

“Don’t, Sam. You and I know we have to try. If we belong somewhere else then I guess we have to let the chips fall where they may. If we belong here, then so be it. I’m not unhappy here either, but what will be will be.”

 

Sam nodded, finished his beer and ambled off to his bedroom.

 

 

Steve had managed to arouse the curiosity of a fair sized group, and they turned out to the beach as the sun was beginning to quit for the day. Sam and Dean told Cas of the plan, but the rest of the group were kept unaware. Harry agreed to attend the event only because his grandfathers showed so much enthusiasm for it, and Kevin agreed to accompany him. They were all assembled on the shore when Dumbledore and Gandalf arrived, their boards under their arms. They shucked their robes, and the striped pantaloons on Dumbledore rustled along with his beard and gray chest hair under the warm evening breeze. Gandalf stood proudly in his European Speedo, filling his lungs with the night air. Both men walked to the water, mounted their boards and Gandalf yelled back, “Come on in, the water’s fine.” Harry and Kevin hurried to join them.

 

Steve ambled over toward the brothers, his rumpled Star Trek tee shirt over his suit and his surf board, painted like the Starship Enterprise, in hand. “Dudes, I’m stoked you made it.”

 

Dean clapped him on the shoulder, “Yea, it’s gnarly, man.” He grimaced over at Sam. “Be sure to come over by us at some point, ok?”

 

“Sure thing.”

 

Dean, Cas and Sam took their boards and walked into the water.

 

 

The sun was orange and luminous as it sunk into the horizon. Steve paddled over, pulled up alongside the group and stretched out on his board. 

“It’s like magic, huh?” Steve said to no one in particular, just as the sun shot its last rays over the surface of the water. Sam and Dean exchanged a glance, resigned but peaceful expressions on both of their faces. Cas looked to the heavens hopefully.


	11. Lake Huron Surf Club (Surf Gang AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Special Guest author, Pops

The waves of Lake Huron grew restless as black clouds rolled in above.

 

“Is everybody ready?” Steve turned his surfboard to face the shore. He looked at the others, his long hair whipping in the wind. He pointed a finger at Dean and Sam. “Prepare yourselves. Make sure the others are ready. Gandalf! Are you ready?”

 

Gandalf sat astride his surfboard, using his mighty staff to paddle out. “Indeed I am!” he called back. “Bring them forth!”

 

“What’s going on?” Dean looked at Sam. “Do you know what’s going on?”

 

“No, I don’t. What are we getting ready for? The waves?”

 

“I don’t think so. I think it’s something else,” said Dean, shaking his head as he peered out at the lake. He felt disoriented, his memories thin and confused. The only thing he knew for certain was that he and Sam needed to be out there, on the waves, on surfboards, and fast. No time to think about it. He gave Sam a smack on the shoulder. “Grab your board. Let’s go!”

 

Sam’s board was a dark blue tri-fin Thunderbolt 500 with yellow lightning zig-zagging across the deck. Dean’s board was a Pilot-Fish Five longboard, one of the originals, not a copy – only thirty made in the whole world. Black with red rails and stringer, waxed to a shine so high you could squeeze your pimples in it. But he better not catch you doing it.

 

The moment Dean picked up his board, his thoughts cleared up and snapped into focus. He and his brother launched themselves onto the churning foam and paddled furiously out.

 

Sam called over his shoulder at the hotel guests standing on shore. “You stay there! No matter what happens, no matter what you see, please stay on the shore.”

 

Gandalf and Dumbledore straddled their boards to either side of Steve, the three of them gazing out to sea, searching. Gandalf looped the tether over his ankle and draped his dripping beard over his shoulder. The gathering clouds glowed red in the setting sun, the churning waves the color of blood.

 

“They’ll wait for the sun to fall,” said Dumbledore. “They’ll come under cover of darkness.”

 

“Uh, wrooong!” said Steve. “They know that’s what we expect. They want to catch us unawares. Creevy!”

 

“Yeah,” shouted Collin Creevy. He pushed his fingers through black hair thick with pomade.

 

“Be ready! And watch after Harry. This is his first time. I do not want to have to clean pieces of him off the beach tomorrow morning.”

 

“Got it!” Creevy smiled. He pulled a switchblade out of the waistband of his bathing suit and sprung it open, the metal flashing in the sun. “Let’s do this! I am stoked!”

 

Harry smiled nervously. His wand shook in his hand and he pressed it against his bare stomach so no one would see. He had to stay strong. He felt wildly out of place. 

 

Steve called over his other shoulder, “You hear me Dean? Sam? I’m sleeping in tomorrow. Not dredging for bodies at six a.m. Not this time.”

 

“Yeah, yeah. Don’t worry about us. You just worry about yourself.”

 

Kevin and Jimmy Kirk took their usual positions on the right and left flank. They raised their fists in the air to indicate they were ready.

 

Steve turned back to face out to sea. The tide was coming in and waves lifted him up and down the backs of their growing swells. It was going to be a rough night. Further down the beach he heard the breakers roaring in. They always started there and working their way down. Once they got to this section it would be much harder to see anything. His eyes scanned the horizon, traced over the ever shifting lines and folds of the waves, looking for any sign.

 

“There!” shouted Dumbledore. He pointed with his wand. “I saw a head. Right there. East, northeast.”

 

Everyone looked in the direction he pointed. And there they were. Three heads. Four. Six. No…it was more. Steve counted at least twelve heads. Maybe even more than that. 

 

“Here they come! This is it, guys!”

 

A perfect A-frame wave lifted the approaching gang high and they came fully into view. Sixteen plus heads formed a line across the crest of the wave. In unison, they all took a knee, found the drop and stood up. They wore matching orange and yellow striped swim trunks that Steve recognized immediately, a chill running through him. The Meat Packers. They rode their signature orange and yellow Hansen 360 diamond back wave guns. Sweet boards. Vicious gang.

 

They held chains, pipes, baseball bats. One held a shovel. Another a hatchet. Another held two wine bottles and he smashed them together and brandished the two broken, razor-sharp bottlenecks. One guy had what looked like a big jagged scrap of sheet metal. Out front, their leader, Booker T, began swinging his chain in circles over his head, a look of mad glee on his face.

 

“Damn!” Kevin exclaimed. “We ain’t ready for that!”

 

“The hell we ain’t,” said Creevy. He twirled his knife. “Bring it on bitches!”

 

The wave was a real steamer, and it was going to be epic before it was done. It broke across the top and the foam began to churn. Steve turned backside to the wave and the others followed suit. They began paddling to pick up momentum. When they felt the swell begin to lift them up, they got on one knee, grabbed the edges of their boards and waited for the moment. 

 

With a sudden lift they shot up to the top of the wave, tilted forward on their boards and felt the drop. Steve planted his feet, stood and rode down the face of the wave. Looked right and left. Gandalf and Dumbledore were up. The others were up too, hopefully, but there was no time for a head count. Steve was in the pocket. He unlooped the chain from around his neck and gripped it in both hands.

 

The Meatpackers were just north of them but riding in their direction, slashing in an angle across the face of the wave. 

 

Gandalf began to chant a spell, in a voice so deep it seemed to vibrate through the water. His staff glowed and he touched its tip against the surf. A bolt of lightning coiled through the water and exploded the board out from under the feet of one of the Meatpackers.

 

Booker T suddenly appeared from out of nowhere, at the crest of the wave, howling a battle cry. He swung his chain at Steve. Steve ducked, turned and swung back. The end of his chain snapped Booker T in the jaw. Somehow Booker T held his balance, swooped away, then came back, grinning with blood smeared across his face.

 

Further up the wave, Creevy was going absolutely nuts. With his switchblade, he slashed the fingers off the hatchet guy and plucked the falling hatchet out of the air before it hit the water. He spun, hung ten and threw the hatchet. It twirled through the air and embedded itself in the neck of a guy with a pipe. As the guy slumped forward Creevy leaned in, came up behind him and yanked the hatchet out his neck. He flung it sideways at the sheet metal guy, but it slammed against the sheet metal with a loud, wobbly bang and dropped into the surf.

 

“Expecto Patronum! Expecto Patronum! Expecto Patronum!” Harry’s wand kept farting out little glowing rabbits and squirrels and chipmunks that scampered harmlessly away. He shook his wand. “What’s wrong with this stupid thing!”

 

A Meatpacker with a cape and a Mexican wrestler mask came at him, spiked brass knuckles swinging.

 

“Oh, no you don’t, El Santo!” Creevy cackled. He crouched low, cut across the water and bowled the sheet metal guy off his feet. He snatched the jagged metal and flung it like a Frisbee. The metal sliced clean through El Santo’s neck. El Santo’s hands went up and clutched his head to hold it in place for a moment. Using his hands, he turned his head back and forth, looking around until he found Creevy. Then, in a final desperate act, he cocked his arms and threw his own head. The masked head slammed against Creevy’s face and toppled him off his board. El Santo’s headless body continued to ride for what spectators later swore was at least five seconds, cape flying off and rising on the wind like a spirit in flight.

 

And below the surf, the sharks began to cruise after the smell of blood.

 

Sam was in trouble. He was surrounded by three Meatpackers. One of them – for some reason – held a rope hanging noose in his hands and he flung it out, looped it around Sam’s neck and pulled the slipknot tight. Sam dropped his blade as his hands went up to clutch at the rope. 

 

“Check it out, guys, I’m walkin’ the dog!” shouted the rope holder. He rode up on the lip of the wave, slashing spray off the top as he tugged on the leash that held Sam.

 

Sam tottered, almost wiped out. The two other Meatpackers came at him from both sides, one with a machete, one with a whaler’s harpoon. 

 

Dean was grappling bare-handed with a huge, squatty son-of-a-bitch with such a low center of gravity it was like trying to tip over a barge. He noticed Sam’s predicament. Enough was enough. He needed to get rid of this guy and fast. 

 

He had only tried this once, but if ever needed it, now was the time. He banked left, rode to the top of the wave until he was looking down at the big guy. The wave was really cranking now and he was having a hard time staying up at all. If he was going to do it, now was the time.

 

He lined himself up until he was directly behind the big guy, then lay flat with his back on his board, closed his eyes and felt gravity take him. His Thunderbolt shot down the face of the wave like a bullet, sliced across the deck of the other guy’s board and swept his feet right out from under him, snapping the ankle cord in the process.

 

Dean was back on his feet in an instant. He carved across the wave, coming up behind the machete guy just as he was about to hack into this brother. Dean grabbed the guy’s wrist with one hand, thrust his other fist forward and snapped the guy’s forearm, then yanked the machete from his grasp. The guy screamed and dropped into the surf. 

 

Dean sliced the rope, that held his brother, and both Sam and the dog-walker overbalanced and cart wheeled into the froth. The harpoonist flung his weapon like a spear and its tip embedded itself in Dean’s shoulder. He dropped the machete but somehow managed to keep his balance.

 

The harpoonist must have had a quiver, because suddenly he had another harpoon in his hands. He pointed a finger at Dean and shouted, “Thar she blows!” Then he raised his arm and prepared to sink another one into Dean’s body.

 

“Oh, no you don’t,” cried Dumbledore, swooping in from above. He swirled his wand over his head and incanted, “Carcharodon carchariosa!”

 

There was a flash of light, and the water began to boil and suddenly the man was no longer standing on a surfboard, but on the back of a great white shark. He teetered, mouth open, eyes wide, and stabbed his harpoon down into the back of the shark. The shark rolled under him and dove and the man disappeared beneath the surface, never to be seen again.

 

The wave was a monster. It was biblical. It rose even higher as it approached the shore and when it curled over at the top, it formed the biggest tube Steve had ever seen. He heard Booker T’s war cry from somewhere in the foam above, so he banked and entered the tube. A fifteen foot high green tunnel swirled around him.

 

Steve’s back and shoulders were bruised and bloody from repeated chain hits and he didn’t know how much strength he had left. Booker T entered the tube behind him, slicing across the surface and whipping his chain back and forth, cackling like a madman.

 

Steve shouted, “You’ll never get the hotel, Booker T! Never! You hear me?”

 

“Tell it to the fishes!” Booker T spat back. He swung his chain. It snaked out and wrapped itself around Steve’s thigh. Booker T pulled the chain in hand over hand, grinning as he closed the gap. His teeth were filed to sharp points.

 

Steve whipped his own chain out and its end licked across Booker T’s shoulder and peeled off a flap of skin. Booker T did not appear to notice. He pulled the chain tight, reached out and grabbed Steve by the hair. Snarling, he opened his mouth and lunged, attempting to bite a chunk out of Steve’s neck.

 

Steve slapped a hand against Booker T’s forehead to hold him back as the wave lifted them together, up the vertical back wall until Steve was looking straight down at Booker T’s snarling face. A vortex of mist swirled like a funnel down the length of the tube as other surfers entered the gigantic barrel. But Steve saw nothing, focusing only on holding Booker T’s sharp teeth away from his neck. 

 

The wave lifted them even higher, past the point of vertical. Steve gripped Booker T’s head with both hands and attempted to dig his thumbs into the madman’s eyes. Booker T wrapped the other end of his chain around Steve’s neck and pulled. And at that moment they were caught in the wild rush at the top of the tube, shot forward over the top and slammed down into the froth. The washing machine tore them in opposite directions and tumbled them helplessly in the riptide. Steve allowed himself to go limp and allowed the current to toss him wherever it wanted – to fight it would only make it worse.

 

He felt his body slam against the bottom and swirl around, no idea which way was up or down, right or left. He gasped, desperate for air, inhaled a lungful of water, reached out to grab something – anything – to help anchor him, but there was nothing to grab. Blackness descended on him and his consciousness blinked out.

 

 

When he awoke, he was lying on the beach. He opened his eyes and saw Ezri in a bikini, looking down at him. She smiled.

 

“We got him!” she called to someone. “He’s back!” 

 

The others crowded around. Gandalf and Dumbledore. Jim Kirk with a bandage around his head. Creevy had smeared blood all over himself in patterns like war paint but he appeared mostly unhurt. Harry was shivering with a blanket wrapped around him, in shock but also uninjured. And further down the beach, Sam was cleaning an ugly wound in his brother’s shoulder.

 

“What happened?” Steve asked. 

 

“We whipped em, that’s what happened!” said Creevy, dancing around. “We whipped em like a pack of dogs.” Creevy had a necklace made of human ears dangling around his neck.

 

“Jesus, Creevy!” said Steve. “Take that off before the cops show up!” He looked at Ezri. “Did we lose anyone?”

 

“We haven’t found Kevin yet. Dean was harpooned but I think he’ll be okay.”

 

“What about Booker T? Do you know what happened to him?”

 

“No sign of him yet. Maybe the sharks got him.”

 

“I don’t like it. Keep searching. If he’s still alive, I guarantee we haven’t seen the last of him.”

 

They spent the next two hours combing the beach, picking up weapons, bagging body parts, making everything look nice and clean. The tide took care of the bloody sand.

 

The hotel was safe, for now. But the gang attacks were becoming more frequent and more fierce. The Meatpackers were bad news, no doubt about that. But there were worse gangs out there. Way worse. 

 

Dean and Sam were prepared to die to defend their hotel. Steve was hired as the lifeguard. How much was a lifeguard supposed to do? This kind of thing seemed a little beyond the scope of the job description. But, this was about more than the job. It was a matter of honor. If the gangs took over, the whole town would go to hell. He was not about to let that happen.

 

To hell with it. He would fight. The gangs would be back. And he would be ready. 

Soon, the sun began to set, and with the last rays combined with the moonlight, it turned the water into liquid silver. The lake opened up like a great swirling maw of mercury and swallowed them down into their next life.


	12. Apartment 5, 6, 5678! (Tap Dancer AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Luci

Dean finally thought him and Sam had it all. When they first went to check out the apartment, Dean’s first thought was it must be too good to be true. It was spacious, clean, and they each got their own bathroom. Plus, it was cheap enough that Dean could afford it on his own, so Sam didn’t have to get a job and could focus on his schooling. Yes, the place was perfect, except for one major down side: the upstairs neighbor. 

 

Neither Dean nor Sam had actually met the neighbor. They had seen him in the lobby of the building when they first moved in, but neither of the brothers had laid eye on him since. He was about Dean’s age, so he was probably a college student at the local university. He was short when compared to Dean, although he was still taller than most. And there was one other thing they knew about him. He was a tap dancer. 

 

Now, the brothers had nothing against the performing arts, they never had. But when the guy upstairs started practicing his new routine at 3 in the morning, Sam told Dean that he had started to wish for irrational things, like to have the art of dance erased from history. The tapping only happened at ungodly hours of the night, never at what Sam liked to think of as a reasonable time. Sam was still in school, despite having moved out of his parent’s house, and he did like to get a good amount of sleep.

 

The brothers moved as soon as Dean was old enough to own his own place. Their mother had died while they were young in a fire. The grief had made their father, John, turn to alcohol. He was never a nice drunk. Dean wanted Sam to have as normal a life as possible, so he quit school as soon as he could, got a job at the local mechanics shop, and moved away from his abusive father. Dean was content with his life style, enjoying being alone with his brother and having his own place. Hell, Dean didn’t even mind the tap dancer upstairs, but Sam was another story there.

 

Sam never saw the uglier sides of John like Dean did, so he never really understood why Dean was so insistent that he come and live with him. Sometimes, when Sam lay awake during the early hours of the morning with nothing to listen to except the constant tapping from above, he even started to regret his decision.

 

Dean, who was more of a night owl anyways, found himself, after a few months, enjoying the tapping. He had some of the patterns memorized, and would tap his fingers along to the beat. Often, once the tapping began, Dean would remove his headphones, pause whatever classic rock band he happened to be listening to that night, and drown himself in the familiarity of the beat from the mysterious neighbor above.

 

 

About once a week, Sam would have his friends Harry and Kevin from school over to study, which usually ended in them playing video games or watching stupid videos on YouTube. Dean liked Sam’s friends, although he believed there might be something more to Harry and Kevin’s “friendship” than they let Sam see.

 

Dean never tried to control Sam’s actions, for fear of being like his father, so when they boys slacked from their homework he said nothing, sometimes even joining them when they needed a fourth member for whatever game they happened to be playing.

 

Today was a bit different, though. Harry and Kevin had come over to study, and they had stayed true to their word. It was finals week. Sam, with his three AP classes and 2 honors classes, was stressed beyond belief. Kevin, who had as many, if not more, honors and AP classes than Sam, was stressing as well. Even Harry, who didn’t like to do more work than necessary (Kevin had written many of his papers for him), had his nose in a textbook.

 

It was quite late already, and the boys had shown no signs of leaving yet. Their first finals were tomorrow morning, Monday. Dean decided to interfere in the studying session.

 

“Kevin, Harry?” he asked, poking his head into Sam’s crowded bedroom. “In case it’s escaped your notice, it’s pretty late. Shouldn’t you be headed home?”

 

“They’re sleeping here tonight, I thought we told you,” Sam answered for his friends without looking away from his notes.

 

It was not unusual for Harry and Kevin to spend the night on school nights, but Dean was hesitant this time. “I don’t know,” he said. “You do have finals tomorrow, I’m just not sure it’s a good idea.”

 

“Well, it is almost midnight,” Sam said, finally looking up from his notes. “And your car’s still in the shop. You can’t make them walk home.”

 

Dean hesitated before answering. “Alright, I guess. Just, get some sleep.”

 

“Whatever. Thanks, Dean.”

 

Dean walked out of the room closing the door behind him. He trusted Sam to be responsible. Dean knew that when one usually got a group of teenagers together, the outcome was not always the best. But this was a good group. Dean rubbed his hands over his eyes, finally realizing how tired he was. He made his was to his room, hoping to get some sleep. He wasn’t very lucky.

 

 

The taping started around 3:15, and at 3:30 Sam couldn’t take it anymore.

 

“SON OF A BITCH!” Sam yelled, bursting out of his room, Harry and Kevin following, who were both very aware of the neighbor’s habits.

 

Dean ran out of his bedroom, shouting, “Sammy? Sam, what’s wrong?”

 

“It’s the taping, I can’t take it! We’ve got finals tomorrow, and since it’s clearly escaped his notice,” Sam said, point up, “some people still like to sleep!”

 

“Sammy, calm down, it’s fine.”

 

“FINE? No, Dean, it’s not fine.”

 

“Alright, you know what Sam if it’ll make you feel better I can go up there and ask him to stop.”

 

“Please.”

 

“Alright then, I will.” Dean walked over to the front door, Sam and his friends trailing closely behind him. Dean slipped his shoes on and walked into the dimly lit hall. He walked to the end of the hall to the stairs, and went up a flight to the neighbor’s floor. They knew which room was the dancer’s from the faint tapping that was coming through the walls. Dean raised his hand to the door and knocked three times quickly. The tapping inside paused and light footsteps came towards the door.

 

The neighbor opened the door. Dean was surprised at how sad the man looked. He felt something inside of him break. He felt a strong connection between him and his neighbor and was taken aback by it for a moment.

 

“H- hi,” Dean stuttered, stumbling to find words. “I’m Dean.”

 

“Cas,” said the neighbor, not meeting his eyes.

 

“Nice to meet you. We’re your neighbors, from downstairs. We were hoping you could, maybe, stop tap dancing at three in the morning?” Dean bit his lip, nervous to hear his response.

 

The neighbor didn’t look surprised. “I, um, yeah. I mean I could. I’m really sorry,” he answered, nervously rubbing his foot on the back of his leg.

 

“Its fine,” Dean said, smiling.

 

Sam, behind Dean, groaned. “Alright, listen, he’s clearly not going to chew you out so I will,” Sam said, pushing his way past Dean to confront Cas. “Having you as a neighbor is, actually, the worst, alright? Enough with the tap, tap, tapping in the middle of the night. I have an AP physics and honors English final tomorrow. Do you know what that’s like? Well apparently not because all you even do is tap dance!”

 

“Sam!” said Dean.

 

“Living under you is like a curse!” Sam yelled, ignoring Dean.

 

Suddenly, something in Dean clicked. “Wait, Sam, say that again?”

 

“All you even do is tap dance?” Sam said, confused.

 

“No, after that.”

 

“Living under you is like a curse?”

 

“Yes, that! Curse! Sam, don’t you remember? Saruman’s curse? This isn’t our home, or even our world!”

 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

 

Now Dean ignored Sam. He turned to his neighbor, suddenly realizing why he had felt such a strong connection to him. “Cas, it’s me! Dean Winchester!”

 

“Winchester?”

 

“Yes! Saruman cursed us, all of us, to live out these fantasies.”

 

“Dean, magic’s not real,” Harry said delicately.

 

“Oh, you of all people should know that’s not true. Come on Cas, remember me!”

 

“I- I feel like I might.”

 

“Well, I need you to be sure.” Dean leapt forwards, closing the gap between him and Cas. He kissed his neighbor, trying desperately to make Cas remember him. When they pulled apart, Cas’s eyes were wide with shock.

 

“Dean I- I remember. You, Sam. Saruman’s curse. I know. I remember it all,” a smile crept onto his face.

 

“We’ve got to find that portal,” Dean said. He was smiling now, too.

 

Suddenly, the door to the room across the hall opened, reveling a dim hallway that looked like it was full of grayish brown liquid.

 

“Gross,” Dean whispered. “Guess this is it.”

 

“Dean, I don’t understand,” said Sam, not daring to speak too loudly.

 

“You trust me, right?”

 

“Of course.”

 

“Then follow me.”

 

Dean walked through the portal, closely followed by Cas, Sam, Harry, then Kevin. Together, the five of them walked out of one of their lives and into another.


	13. Pass the Forks (Twilight AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Mozy

Castiel sat at the desk in his office, Ezri across from him with her feet up on the desk. 

 

“You’re here ahead of them, so I assume they’re gonna need you?”

 

“Yea, Cas, it’ll help to have a girl in this mix. Your traveling sausage festival is a little testosterone heavy for some assignments. I’m not stepping on your toes, am I?” 

 

Cas gave her a closed smile. Her job, as spirit guide to the Winchester brothers, put her in a position to guide and comfort them in a way he wanted to but could not. She would show up intermittently in their lives, usually in times of turmoil when there was no one else to find spiritual, soul-level comfort with, or when they needed some directional guidance. Cas spent far more time with the boys than she, but still felt envious at her presence. He understood the necessity of her, so he played his part. “No, of course not. I’m figuring you’re thinking what I’m thinking: maybe we shouldn’t be in a hurry to get out of here. The boys could be useful here; this place is literally crawling with monsters.”

 

 

The bus rattled over the railroad tracks, bouncing Sam’s head against the window. He snapped awake and looked to the right, seeing Dean zoned out, eyes closed with ear buds blasting classic rock. He tapped him awake as the bus pulled into the school parking lot.

 

 

Sam and Dean Winchester wound their way to the front office and waited as the dark haired Native American boy in front of them finished up at the counter.

 

“Now, Jacob, I hope your transfer here to Forks High School isn’t just so you can keep tabs on Bella Swan. I don’t want any trouble with you and the Cullens.”

 

“No Principal, I just felt that some time off the reservation would be good for a…well-rounded education.” Jacob shot a dazzling smile at the Principal. 

 

“Ok, then Mr. Black, I’ll have Alice here show you around.” 

 

Alice Cullen wrinkled her pixie nose at Jacob as he gave her a wink, and they were on their way. The exchange looked flirtatious but felt anything but. Sam and Dean raptly watched the interaction, looking at each other questioningly. 

 

“Hello, boys. You must be the Winchester twins. I’m Principal Castiel.”

 

Sam and Dean turned their attention toward the principal, wrinkling their brows simultaneously. Dean spoke first, “You look familiar, do we know you?”

 

Cas knew the drill by now. “I hear that a lot. Anyway, welcome to Forks. Transferring as Seniors, that’s a tall order. I hope you’ll like it here. You are all set up with your admissions, so I have assigned you an escort. This is Ezri, and she’ll accompany you around.”

 

Ezri came into view, her waves of warm coppery hair in contrast with her stormy gray eyes. 

 

Sam just smiled openly at her but Dean commented, “Now I definitely know you, and if I don’t, I want to.”

 

“So, gentleman, my name is Ezri and I will be your liaison while you get acquainted with the high school, or Forks in general, for that matter.” She stopped and leaned against two lockers which she indicated to be theirs. Dean pressed into the space between them. 

 

“Then let’s definitely make plans to liaison as soon as possible.”

 

“Ezri,” Sam pulled his brother away and stepped into the space, “excuse my brother, he likes to dive right in,” Dean lifted his eyebrow, winked and smiled at her, “but I have to agree with him: the principal seems familiar and I know I know you from somewhere. And know you well.” Her smile was warm and inviting, and he knew he was on to something. “And this place, I speak for both of us when I say it feels really weird. Even that kid in front of us…what was that all about? I could literally smell the distaste between him and that cute chick.”

 

“Oh, you are quick. That is what I love about y… I love that about people…you know, when they’re quick.

 

“But yea, that’s a story. The Cullen’s and Jacob Black. You’ll get a whiff of that soon enough. Best advice I can give you as of now: follow your instincts.” She stopped by the English Literature door. “Here’s your first class. See you at lunch.”

 

 

The Chemistry class was interesting, at least. The short kid with the mop top hair and round glasses was mixing a variety of powders at the front of the class, and turning them into mini fireworks that even impressed the teacher. The Asian kid in the front row, either his legit boyfriend or sporting a fawning crush, was clapping wildly with each trick. But Sam and Dean had split their attention. They sat on opposite sides of the room, but each near a very pale and beautiful boy. They looked like they might be brothers, both light haired and with eyes a weird golden color. Sam couldn’t wait to talk to Dean about them. As soon as the class was dismissed the two boys met up at the door and walked out together toward the lunchroom, as did the Winchesters. 

 

“What the f…?” Dean watched the boys from behind as they walked.

 

“I know, right? They might be even more beautiful than you, Dean.” Sam smirked and got swatted for it.

 

“Seriously, Sammy, there is nothing normal about those two.” 

 

They entered the lunchroom and immediately saw Ezri, and joined her at her table. The three of them let their eyes follow the golden-eyed boys to their table where they met up with the hot girl from the office, earlier. It just occurred to them that she was just as pale and golden as they. She reached up and kissed one of the brothers. Sam and Dean recoiled a little.

 

“Yea. That’s her boyfriend, Jasper. Or her brother. Not entirely sure.”

 

“What?”

 

“Yea.”

 

Silence filled the space between them. Three others joined that table; two more goldens and a completely average looking brunette girl. The two new goldens kissed each other as the strawberry haired pale one kissed the brunette.

 

“That’s the rest of the Cullen’s, and Bella Swan.”

 

“One of these things is not like the others.” Sam barely whispered the words.

 

“Is that another brother and sister kissing too?! What the hell is going on around here?” Dean’s voice was growing impatient.

 

“Supposedly all adopted. Like that makes it ok.”

 

The brothers digested Ezri’s words. Sam spoke first. “So that’s the Bella the principal mentioned to the kid in the office…Jacob I think.”

 

On cue, Jacob Black walked through the lunch room, shooting grimming looks at the Cullen table.

 

“Oh hell, Sam, I think we have work to do here.”

 

Ezri snapped to attention. “What do you mean by that, Dean?”

 

Dean sized Ezri up before answering. “Our parents are in the FBI, they run the branch that deals with…the unexplained, for lack of a better term. They sent us here because Dad said they were being transferred here. But now they’ve been sent to Italy. I think he sent us ahead here because maybe we’re better equipped to take on this job.”

 

Ezri’s eyes were like saucers. “Hmm, interesting, boys. Tell you what: I’ll meet up with you tonight and we can discuss more.”

 

“Is that all you wanna do, is talk?” Dean’s voice trailed off with a chuckle. Ezri walked away casually and once out of their site, sprinted the rest of the way to Cas’ office.

 

 

“They know, Cas. Or at least they know something.”

 

Cas sat back in his chair and pondered. This was a tough one, because even though his first thought was to help the boys along in their memory and get out of this spiral of universes as fast as they could, this was one place where the young Winchesters could really sharpen their skills. And learn from different parents that were experts in the field.

 

“Ezri, I think we need to let this unfold all by itself. Let them take something with them from this ‘lifetime’. John was a great hunter and taught them well, but this time they can learn a lot more handed down from Fox and Dana.”

 

 

“Why does it have to rain so damn much here?” Dean swiped his hand across his eyes to remove the water from them.

 

“You think you hate it? I look like a drowned rat.” Sam’s floppy hair hung wet over his face. 

 

The boys were in the woods watching from a distance: Bella Swan near the shore of a rocky beach, walking hand in hand with Jacob Black.

 

“Hmm, ole’ girl’s got herself a side dish. Apparently he’s ok with the situation, because he knows she’s with light-skin. But does that guy know?”

 

“Dean, we aren’t here to track a two-timer. There is something way wrong with this group.”

 

“I know, do you see these other guys on the reservation? It’s a stud factory: they’re as tall and ripped as you are, only sexier.” Sam answered by smacking Dean across the side of the head good-naturedly. 

 

“I’ve got a plan. If she is good to go with two guys, maybe she’s ok with three.”

 

Sam just looked at Dean with hooded eyes. “So, this girl, who already has two guys willing to fight for her, and possibly all the brothers willing to take up too—you want to give her a try?”

 

“Maybe I do. I mean, what’s all the fuss about? Must be tasty.”

 

“You are righter than you know.” Both brothers jumped at the sound of Ezri’s voice. 

 

“What are you do…”

 

“I’m supposed to be your guide, remember?”

 

“But how’d you find us…?”

 

Sam sat back into the brush, leaning against a tree. “I knew something about you felt different. You are our guide. Our guide.” 

 

“Very good, Sam. That’s an A for you—no surprise there.” Her smile melted right through him and he leaned forward to plant a quick kiss on her lips. 

 

“It’s good to see you again.”

 

“It’s good to be here with you.”

 

Dean looked away from the scene on the beach over to his brother, perplexed. “What the hell? Damn, Sam, and you call me fast. How’d you get in there before me?”

 

Sam started to explain to Dean but Ezri shook her head and he stopped. 

 

A ruckus on the beach dragged the attention of all three to the shore. Gazing through the trees they saw a group of 5 shirtless boys approach Jacob and Bella, their caramel colored muscles rippling under the moonlight, their silky black hair blowing in the breeze. They all talked and gesticulated wildly. Ezri’s voice, barely a whisper, caught in her throat.

 

“Umm. I wonder if they taste as good as they look…”

 

“Damn, Girl!” 

 

She met Dean’s eyes briefly but waved him away. Suddenly, from across the beach they saw Jacob whip off his shirt and hand it to Bella. There was a sudden explosion of pants as all six boys transformed into enormous wolves in front of their eyes. Bella hopped onto the Jacob Wolf’s back and the gargantuan pack disappeared in a streak. 

 

“Oh my god! Werewolves?! F’in werewolves?” Dean shook his head.

 

Sam’s mouth hung open. “I think we’d better call mom and dad.”


	14. Pass the Forks Pt 2 (Twilight AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Mozy

Back at their rented house Sam and Dean got their parents on speaker phone.

 

“In front of our eyes, this pack of guys on the reservation just turned into wolves. Wolves the size of Buicks. This town was freaky from the giddyup, but this is a bit much, gotta be, even for you guys, huh?” Dean spoke in feverish tones.

 

“Son, take a breath. We can help explain this.” Fox Mulder’s easy voice immediately calmed his excited son. 

 

Dana Scully, her maternal instincts even deeper than her supernatural job training took over, “Boys, first of all, are you ok?”

 

“We’re ok, Mom. Just a little freaked.” Both boys paused after speaking to their mother. They experienced a warmth wrap around them that felt both loving and longing at the same time.

 

“Boys, we are in Volterra, Italy, which is connected to your situation there. Have you noticed the pale ones among you?”

 

“Yes, Dad. And they’re creepier than the wolves, if that’s possible.” Sam shuddered. “Seriously you guys, these things are like mastodons.”

 

“Ok, well, brace yourselves. Because you are sitting in the middle of a nest of vampires, and we don’t know whether there is about to be an all-out war between them and the wolves in Forks. This Italian town we’re in is the family compound, as it is, and we just found out one of their newly made vampires is on his way there to Washington. The new ones are the worst boys, so protect yourselves. We’ll be there as soon as we can.”

 

Dana took over for Fox. “Gather whatever intel you can, boys. Find out who’s who and what’s what, but stay safe. Whatever it takes.”

 

Dean’s head hung down, his hands rubbed over his hair. “Damn, I was hoping I didn’t have to kill anybody in this town.”

 

 

Sam walked Ezri to the door as Dean finished the conversation with their parents. They stepped out on the stoop for some privacy. “It really is good to have you here, Ezri. I feel better about this already.” He laced his fingers through hers and wrapped his long arms behind her, drawing her nearer. She looked up into his eyes.

 

“I’ll be here as long as you need me. This one is big, Sam. And somehow, incredibly, it seems to center around the least interesting person in the town: Bella. What do you say tomorrow we all do our parts to infiltrate that weird group of theirs?”

 

“Yea, I figured that’s next. But why didn’t you want me to fill Dean in on who you are when it finally hit me?”

 

“I want him to come to it on his own.” She paused and thought for a moment. Sam had recognized and remembered her, but didn’t yet realize that he was reliving his teenage years in a different place with different parents. He also hadn’t noticed that unlike their real life, he and Dean were the same age. For once he wasn’t the little brother. He, too, had more revelations to come to on his own.

 

“Ok, but when this is all figured out I want to spend a little time with you.” He squeezed her closer.

 

“Sam, I technically don’t have to leave. Its not like I’m an actual high school student…”

 

He smiled down at her, his turquoise eyes twinkling and his dimples caving in. “Climb into my bedroom window in about an hour. We can ‘discuss the case’.” He bent down and pressed a torrid kiss into her, then turned and walked back into the house. Despite being his spirit guide and being above the demands of a normal human body, Ezri couldn’t wait to snake her hands through his long silky hair and wrap her legs around his waist.

 

 

The next morning Ezri picked the boys up for school in her rusted out Caprice Classic. Dean smiled sideways at her as he took the shotgun seat. 

 

“Not fashionable by any means, but I like the size of that backseat. Totally worth the scrub looks.” 

 

Sam climbed in the back and sat silently, glowing with a smooth grin creasing his face. Dean didn’t notice that his brother was totally chill under their new, weird circumstances.

 

“I’m gonna check out Jacob today. See what’s going on in that head.” 

 

Dean looked at him over the seat, eyebrows raised. “Jesus, Sammy, gotta death wish or something? Just gonna walk up and shake his paw, make friends?” Dean’s eyes clouded after he said it. “Wait!” He spun in the direction of Ezri, then back to Sam. “Why are we discussing this freely in front of her? And why isn’t she freaked out?”

 

He turned his head and studied her as she drove. She reached out, ran her fingers along his jaw and cradled his face in her palm. Heat poured from her hand wherever it made contact with his skin, and Dean closed his eyes, moaned and sank into the seat. She held her hand there as she drove on, letting him absorb her. When he opened his eyes, she knew that he knew her.

 

“Oh, hell yea we are using that backseat later.”

 

“Damn, Dean, it’s about time you figured her out.”

 

“Whatever, Einstein, better late than never. Anyway, I’m hitting up Bella. I gotta see what’s got this town upside down. Cuz I’m telling ya, I’m not getting it. I have her in gym class and she is a whiny, clumsy, dull… ” He frowned and then continued. “But whatever it is, she’s got some sweet meat chasing it, so it’s worth taking a look.”

 

Ezri nodded at them. “Ok, I’m going to do an end run and try for the back door: I’m going to check in with her boyfriend’s brother, Jasper. He seems reasonable and not too suspicious, and actually, I would like to get a closer look.”

 

“Because he’s even prettier than Edward?” Dean teased, and his mossy green eyes twinkled neon. “Are you hoping to get some ‘stone cold’ in you while we’re at this?”

 

“That too, but I promise to save you some.” She winked and ran her hand up his thigh, letting it brush against his crotch, the heat from her touch causing him to gasp out loud.

 

“You two realize we are talking about vampires and werewolves here, right? I mean, why aren’t they tearing this town up? Bella looked perfectly safe snuggled into Jacob’s thick, bristly fur, riding him like an Arabian stud…Hey, assuming she’s screwing these two guys, what d’you figure that’s even like? Edward’s rock hard. Literally. How do you think his erections work, if he’s hard all the time? Always pointing up?”

 

Dean took over, “And do you think she does it with Jacob when he’s human, or as a wolf? Cuz, whoa! Man! That’s another story entirely…Did you see the size of him?!”

 

“Alright, boys. I’m ashamed to say you’re gonna turn me on if you keep this up. Regarding our plan: I say we divide and conquer. Get them when they are alone.”

 

 

Sam hung out in the school parking lot, leaning against Ezri’s car eating an apple. As expected, Jacob pulled up on his motorcycle and parked alongside her car. He nodded at Sam. 

 

“Dude.”

 

“Dude. Nice ride. My name’s Sam.”

 

“Thanks. I’m Jacob.”

 

“So, you’re from the reservation? I heard you say you transferred from that school…my brother and I were in the office behind you yesterday.”

 

Jacob just nodded, so Sam continued. “Uh, just curious, but from what I’ve seen of the guys from the rez, you are all seriously massive. What’s up with that?”

 

Jacob stared at Sam and Sam got the definite idea that he might be on to him. It took him a long time to answer. “I don’t know, Sam. Genetics, I guess. Evolution to fit the environment.”

 

Wow, great answer, thought Sam. They eyed each other warily for several seconds.

 

“Tell you what, Sam. You’re new in town—why don’t you and your brother join me and my friends in the Fork in the Road Park Woods. Today, right after school at 2:30.

 

“Uh, ok. Where is it?”

 

“You’ll know, Sam. It’ll be obvious.” With that Jacob turned and walked away. Sam shrugged and followed him.

 

 

Dean just stood off to the side and waited for Bella to knock the basketball out of bounds. She might be the most inept player he had ever seen in a gym class. She couldn’t be more ungainly if she was walking on three legs in two different directions. Eventually, inevitably, it came rolling over near him. He bent to pick it up just as she walked over. He made sure to give her a nice long look at his round ass and his prettiest smile. 

 

“Hey.”

 

“Hey.” Bella reached out for the ball.

 

“Uh, I’m Dean.” He batted his long dark lashes over his emerald green eyes, and turned up the corner of his mouth into a sexy grin.

 

“Nice to meet you. I’m Bella. Can I have the ball?”

 

Dean looked at her, perplexed. He handed the ball to her and she walked away, leaving him standing there. Wow, that’s never happened before. Girls routinely swooned over him; Dean was truly mystified over her lack of interest. He looked around to see if anyone else noticed the snub.

 

 

Ezri got behind Jasper in the cafeteria line. He held a banana in his hand, and nothing else. Wonder where he’s gonna hide the skin when he pretends to eat it, she thought. She admired him from behind, he was alabaster white and smelled like Sweet Tarts, which she figured was what attracted the humans and made them willing victims to their own consumption. She wanted to lick him. She pretended to stumble so she could bump into him. He was cool and hard to the touch but a little electrifying. He turned to look at her; the gold in his eyes flared orange for just a fraction of a second, and his nostrils flared, barely perceptibly. In fact, it was only because Ezri had heightened senses that she even noticed. Sam or Dean wouldn’t have seen it with their limited-to-human-experience eyes.

 

“Excuse me, I tripped.”

 

Jasper smiled at her and it was like time standing still. He was radiant beyond words. She knew instantly that he was on to her—in some way or another—although she didn’t know what he was thinking. He spoke, shaking her back into the moment. “I’m Jasper, I don’t think I’ve ever met you.” 

 

“Hi, I’m Ezri.”

 

“Sitting with anyone today?”

 

“Uh, no.”

 

“Good. Join me.” He walked ahead of her, through the cafeteria and straight out the door to the covered patio. The rain was clearing up, but no other students had braved lunch outdoors today. Ezri followed him like a puppy and realized when they were alone that she would have followed him anywhere even if he hadn’t asked. This was a dangerous species. She worried she was in over her head.

 

He stopped and turned toward her suddenly, reaching out for her as she banged into him. His touch sent electricity through her arms. He pulled back slightly, still holding her but examining her with a confused look. She was frozen in his grasp. Finally he let her go.

 

“Ok, Ezri. I think we both know that the other is not what it seems. You don’t smell or feel like a human. And you’ve figured out I don’t either.” She looked at him, taking in the scene silently. He continued, “Sometimes things aren’t what they seem. You are clearly not afraid of me, so meet me in the woods after school. I’ll reveal more then.”

 

Ezri blinked and he was gone. He left the delicious smell of powdery candy in his wake, and it made Ezri lick her lips. I hope when he said he’ll reveal more he meant he and I…Dammit! This human body and its fleshy desires! It’s totally screwing with me. I’m frickin’ horny like a human teenager. She paused, took her cell phone out of her pocket and dialed Dean.

 

“Hey, wanna skip our last hour? Ok– meet me in the backseat of the Caprice.”

 

 

Sam walked out to the parking lot and started to reach for the backseat handle but pulled away. A pair of feet were pressed on the window. He smacked the glass, grabbed the front door handle instead and took the shotgun seat. He waited for them to put themselves back together and for Ezri to join him up front. 

 

“Glad that’s out of the way.”

 

“Whatever,” Dean grunted. “Guess we’re going to the woods. Ezri got the invitation from Jasper.”

 

Sam nodded. “Yea, I got it from Jacob, too. Unlikely allies, wouldn’t you say? How’d it go with Bella?”

 

Dean bit his lower lip and looked down. “Yea, about that. Nothing. And I mean no thing. Zero. She’s wrecked over those guys cuz she didn’t even blink for me and I turned on all the charm.” 

 

Sam snickered; Dean shot him a withering look and continued. “And talk about a zero…I still don’t get it with her. What is it they are all seeing?”

 

“Well, if she’s willing to do a giant dog, that’s gotta have its fans. But I guess we’re about to find out. Jacob said I’d know where to go. Think it has anything to do with that?” Sam pointed ahead.

 

The three of them looked forward into the woods that surrounded the car. A blinding light rose from deep in the woods, catching their eyes as they traveled up the road away from the school. They exchanged questioning looks, nodded to one another, and Ezri suddenly turned off the road in that direction, taking a dirt path into the woods. The road was bumpy and the Caprice bounced them around the cab of the car. Dean, in the back, took the worst of it, swearing every time his head hit the roof. 

 

“How am I supposed to sharpen my knife like this?”

 

Suddenly they were out of the woods into a clearing. The rain had stopped entirely and the sun was out. There were about 15 people standing in the field: all of the Wolf Boys they had seen on the beach, and all the pale golden-eyed kids from school. The sun played over the skin of the vampires and lit the sky around them like a field full of diamonds. 

 

“God Damn, will you look at these glittery motherfuckers?! Holy shit!” Dean’s jaw dropped.

 

“Jesus, they’re even sparklier than you are, Dean. No wonder you couldn’t dazzle Bella. Edward is mesmerizing her with his disco balls.”

 

The heads of all the people in the field turned at once in their direction. Their faces registered a look of amusement; all except Edwards, which was twisted into a scowl. 

 

“Shit! They’re vampires and wolves. They heard us.”

 

Resolutely they got out of the Caprice and approached the group. Dean had a machete in his hand.

 

Jacob addressed them, speaking first to Sam, “Nice ride, dude.” He turned toward Dean, “Although I’m surprised you let yourself get seen in it. I picture you in something way more stylish. And classic.”

 

Dean stuck out his chest. “We’re not here to talk. Wait, yea we are.” Dean shook his head—why were his thoughts so scrambled? “Let’s start that again. Technically, we should be here to stop you, but somehow you aren’t the “normal” monsters, are you? Tell me quick, before I can’t help myself from scratching my killin’ itch.”

 

“This guy,” one of the Natives threw his thumb in Dean’s direction. Jasper walked forward, taking control of the situation.

 

“Look, we know that you all are something other than ordinary high school students, and that you probably feel the need to kill us. But the truth is, we are all hunters, just different kinds.”

 

A light went on behind Sam and Dean’s eyes. Jasper noticed it immediately.

 

“Ah, the plot thickens. You are out of sync with yourselves, and of all places for two demon hunters to end up, you’re here. Wow. Well, before you remember that you probably have mad killing skills, I’ll fill you in. There is a delicate truce between us in Forks, and for centuries that has kept us very safe from monsters. We are ‘vegetarian’ vampires, and because we don’t kill humans the wolves don’t kill us. But the damn Volturi have bred a new set of newborns, and they are being led by a vulturous bastard that is coming for Bella.”

 

Dean rolled his eyes. “Yea, I just don’t wrap my mind around that.”

 

Bella scowled at him across the field. Jacob bared fangs.

 

Jasper continued, “Bella has delicious blood and special powers that the Volturi want. Don’t sweat the details! I get it, you don’t understand cuz she’s dull as dishwater. Believe me, Brother, I’m with you on that. But the bottom line is they will come in numbers and destroy the humans of this town. We aren’t going to let that happen, so you must stand down and let us fight. If you try to stop us we will have to stop you. They are being led by a vampire newborn…”

 

“They are being led by ME!”

 

Suddenly, the field around them glowed with the radiance of a nuclear blast, and even the vampires had to look away from the brilliance. Walking ahead of a frail and delicate group of snow-white vampires was a golden haired, golden skinned Adonis of a man, tall and regal, his radiance more gold than diamond white. He wore a sleeveless plaid shirt and sunglasses, presumably to shield his eyes from his own glory. He took them off and bore his blood red eyes into the group before him. 

 

“My name is Steve, and you will all behold the wonder that is me. Give me the girl, the plain, sour-faced human, and some of you may live to see another day. If you comply we will take our fill of humans to replenish our strength and then be gone. I see you brought me snacks. I’ll start with the one that I’m guessing tastes like strawberry licorice and finish with that juicy green apple. I will lick the licorice, but bite right into that apple…” His eyes fell on Sam and Dean, who looked at each other in horror. “But enough about that. Begrudge me and you will pay dearly! Give me Bella. Do it now. Shots have been fired!!” He punctuated by throwing his head to the side, causing his hair to swing over in a cascade like a golden shower. Everyone in the field shielded their eyes from the glare.

 

“Never,” Edward and Jacob said in unison. 

 

Dean leaned into Sam and whispered, “Seriously, I don’t get it.”

 

Without warning chards of exploding pants filled the sky like confetti, and Bella was thrown onto the back of the smallest gray wolf. Ezri smiled to herself, as her greater-than-human reflexes had allowed her to catch a glimpse of the naked boys before their transformation into wolves. They did not disappoint.

 

“Stop them,” Steve roared, as he dropped into a triple spin and directed his band of spindly, ancient vampires to launch into battle. They waddled forward, tripping on robes too long for them, and were immediately cut down by the Cullen’s and the Wolves. The brevity of the battle shocked everyone. Especially Steve.

 

“Wow. I did not see that coming.”

 

He was immediately thrown to the ground and subdued. He continued lamenting, face pushed into the ground.

 

“Yea, that wasn’t how I saw that going. Wow, what a miscalculation. What kinda mess…why did they send me here with their geriatric army? What the hell?”

 

The wolves had transformed back to humans and changed into tiny nylon gym shorts they kept tied to their legs for just such an occasion. Together with the vampires they built a fire to start burning the dead bodies. Ezri watched from the sidelines, licking her lips—it was a For Christs Sake monster smorgasbord in front of her. Bad never looked so damn good. She was worked up once again, but since she belonged only to Dean and Sam, she thought she might have to give it to them one more time before they left this scene. Eyes still on the scene by the fire but engrossed in the thought of her seduction of her boys, she didn’t notice Bella come to stand beside her until she spoke.

 

“Why are you looking at them like that? Stop it.”

 

Ezri gave Bella a thorough once-over. She had to agree with Dean: She couldn’t see it. She was irritated just being near her, but felt sisterly enough to give her some friendly advice.

 

“Incidentally, Bella, don’t let them make you choose. They’re immortal, right? Have them both. Nothing but time.” With that Ezri moved away from her to take a closer look at Steve. She got up next to his face; even mashed into the ground he was still radiant. She wondered how magnificent her Sam and Dean would look as vampires.

 

 

Dean and Sam turned to see Cas approaching through the woods, Harry and Kevin right behind him. Cas broke into a sprint and Dean wrapped him in a hug when he reached them.

 

“How did you…?”

 

“Ezri called us, and told us to come.”

 

“Boys, you’re safe!” Dana and Fox ran toward their sons, closing them in a cocoon-like hug. 

 

“Mom, Dad, you made it.” Dean grasped his dad and then buried his face in his mom’s shoulder. He pulled back and smiled in a face so like his own, freckled and round-eyed. She kissed his forehead and reached out with her other hand to pull Sam into her. He melted against her as Fox wrapped them all in his arms. He spoke to the boys as he held them.

 

“Boys, this could have been a disaster; I am so glad you are safe. But you have learned something today that will serve you well for the rest of your lives: Things are not always what they seem and things that we would call monsters aren’t always bad. Every situation has to be weighted individually. Never forget that. Your mom and I have been working for years to establish a way to navigate the supernatural, and you two are going to be brilliant at it in the next generation. I love you guys.”

 

“I love you too! Your dad and I doing this job is one thing, but you two at it will scare me to death.”

 

“We love you guys! We’re glad you got here; not sure we’d be able to describe this mess properly!” The four of them closed back into their hug.

 

 

The Cullen brothers and Wolf Pack picked up the dead bodies and threw them on the fire. It crackled and spit and hissed a gray misty shroud over the area, and in that rift of space the travelers disappeared.


	15. Road Trippin’ (Road Trip AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Special guest author, Pops

Creevy’s car was ridiculous. Dean couldn’t believe it was even legal to drive. Actually, there was no way it was legal but the police never seemed to bother him. It was once a 1976 AMC Pacer that had been through so many accidents and undergone so many repairs, restorations, modifications and patch-togethers that it was completely unrecognizable. The hood had been replaced with the hood of a Cadillac so huge it overhung the front and sides and flapped up and down when he drove. The front driver’s side quarter panel was gone and replaced with a big piece of pink plastic from a child’s play house. The wheels were mismatched, larger on the left than the right so the whole car was tilted at an angle. The roof was ripped off and replaced with an old laminate kitchen tabletop his grandmother had thrown away. To this he had mounted a rack made of two-by-fours for holding his surfboard. The rear bumper dragged on the street kicking up sparks. Creevy had removed all the seats and put in a Lay-Z-Boy recliner instead, unbolted and sliding around whenever he turned a corner. If anyone else wanted to ride with him they’d have to curl up in the stowage area in back and hope not to get crushed by the sliding chair. The engine had been replaced twelve times, with no regard for the type or condition of the replacement. If it didn’t fit, he’d make it fit. It smoked and caught fire and you always knew when Creevy was coming because his car sounded like a cement mixer full of cats.

 

 

For some reason, people kept trying to steal it. They’d get two or three block away but the car was so hard to handle they would inevitably crash into a tree or a house or land in a ditch. He would chase them on foot, at a brisk walk, and catch up easily. Waving his baseball bat in the air, he’d chase them away and then drive back home.

 

Dean had tried to drive the car once, 2.5 miles to the Krazy-Mart and had ended up so exhausted he decided to just walk home, carrying two cases of beer. His arms were sore for a week. From the car, not the beer.

 

So when Creevy suggested they all take a road trip in his car to the Lazy Deuce Club in North Bel-Aire twenty-eight miles away, Dean’s first thought was to hang up the phone and go hide in his closet and pretend not to be home. But that would be an immature reaction. So instead, he foolishly said, “Sure!”

 

 

Six of them were crammed into the back and into the narrow space next to the Lay-Z-Boy. Dean, Sam, Kevin, Gandalf, Jimmy Kirk and Steve. They made Gandalf leave his staff because there was just no room for it.

 

Dumbledore stayed back to keep an eye on the hotel. He was in a pissy mood about something anyway so they didn’t really want him along. And Harry was underage so no way he was coming.

 

“You’re sitting on my beard!” complained Gandalf.

 

“What do you want me to do?” said Sam. “I can’t move.”

 

“Well, get up or just…I don’t know…lift your butt cheek for a second.”

 

“I can’t. Jimmy move over. Not that way, the other way!”

 

“Ow! Your elbow!”

 

“Everybody ready? Let’s go!” shouted Creevy. He cranked the ignition and the car rumbled to life. When he revved the engine, it screamed like a lion stepping into a bear trap while mating. Flames burst from around the edges of the hood. Creevy swore and grabbed the fire extinguisher from under the dash. He got out and sprayed it under the hood until the flames went out. Smoke poured into the car through the air vents and everyone began coughing and choking. 

 

“Okay, that’s it!” said Dean. “This is insane. Let us out. I’m driving.”

 

Creevy leaped back in and pulled the lever on the side of his chair to open the footrest. The chair slid back and reclined, crushing Jimmy Kirk even more. 

 

“Get off my goddamn beard!” It was not like Gandalf to swear, so he must have been in a lot of pain.

 

Creevy lit a cigarette, took a deep satisfying drag and tapped the ashes on the floor. “Let’s do it!” he said and slammed the car into gear. 

 

Dean mumbled to no one in particular, “Now would be a good time to pray to whatever god you adhere to.”

 

Creevy hit the gas and, because of the larger driver side wheels, the car immediately pulled to the right. Using both hands, Creevy hauled down on the steering wheel in a counter-clockwise direction to straighten out the trajectory and the Lay-Z-Boy slid to the right, squeezing Sam. 

 

The AMC Pacer was on the road and screaming down the street. People stared with mouths open. The noise inside the car was so loud Dean couldn’t even hear his own thoughts. Both his legs were pinned and going numb under Kevin, who had somehow gotten rolled into an upside-down somersault position and couldn’t move an inch. Sam was the lucky one. He was able to hang his head out the passenger side window. But Dean was most worried about Jimmy Kirk who was directly behind the driver’s seat. His eyes were closed and he appeared to have lost consciousness. They still had twenty-seven miles to go.

 

“Jimmy! Are you okay?”

 

Jimmy didn’t answer.

 

Creevy needed both hands to steer so he held his cigarette between his lips. When it had burned down to the filter he spat it sideways out the window but it blew back in and landed on Jimmy Kirk’s cheek.

 

“Ahhh!” cried Jimmy, snapping awake and thrashing with his arms to brush it away. He kicked the Lay-Z-Boy forward causing Creevy to lose his grip on the wheel.

 

The Pacer swerved to the right and plowed through a child’s lemonade stand and thank all the gods and angels in heaven that no kid was there at the time. Lemonade dribbled through the roof. It dripped on Dean’s cheek and he licked it off and it was pretty good lemonade.

 

“Dammit, Jimmy! Stop screwing around back there!” Creevy shouted over his shoulder. 

 

The sign reading, Lemonade For Sale 10¢ was caught under the front edge of the hood. It bent and flipped up vertical, blocking his vision. Instead of slowing down, Creevy sped up and began swerving back and forth in the hopes of dislodging the sign.

 

They were on County Road 66 and they drove right past a cop sitting on the shoulder. Dean couldn’t see out the window. “Hey, Sam, is he coming after us?”

 

“No, he’s still there. I don’t think he saw us,” Sam replied.

 

Good thing too. Dean and Sam were highly respected local business owners.

 

“Oh, my god, who farted?” Steve asked. “Seriously, I’m not kidding.”

 

“Twas not I,” said Gandalf. Somehow he had finally managed to get his beard back from Sam’s ass and he had regained his proud composure.

 

“It’s nasty – who did that?”

 

The smell suddenly hit Dean like a bowling ball in the face and he almost gagged.

 

“Uhhhkk,” said Dean. “Okay, that’s more than a fart. I think somebody crapped their pants. Jimmy, are you still with us? Did you die?”

 

“I’m still here. And it wasn’t me.”

 

“Who did that?”

 

“Oh, god!” shouted Creevy. “What the hell?

 

“It’s the car,” said Kevin.

 

“It ain’t the car you son-of-a-bitch. You don’t just go accusing a man’s car. That is not cool. It was you, wasn’t it?”

 

“Whatever.”

 

“It was you! You hear that? He didn’t deny it.”

 

“Seriously, did you crap your pants?”

 

“No! It was just a fart. Everybody needs to just chill out.”

 

“What did you eat? Roadkill?”

 

“Hey, Sam,” said Creevy. “Open the sunroof, will you?”

 

“What sunroof? It’s your grandma’s table.”

 

“Yeah, you just open it up. It has that leaf thing. You pull that metal loop there and just push it open. It’s wicked.”

 

Sam reached back, groped around with his hand until he found the metal loop. He pulled it and the table popped open. He pushed the back half, sliding it back as far as it would go. The smell began to dissipate.

 

They came to a light and stopped. A yellow hot rod pulled up next to them – a souped-up ’32 Ford coupe roadster with an open engine, bobbed frame, dropped tube axle, bugcatcher scoop over dual-quads on a tunnel ram, coilovers and big chrome Lakeduster sidepipes. The driver, some rich kid with a polo shirt and a sweater and nicely combed hair who probably never saw single grease stain on his hands his entire life sat there with his blonde girlfriend and looked over at them, grinning. He gave Creevy the finger and revved his engine. 

 

“Oh, you think so?” said Creevy. “You think so, Fancy?”

 

“Yeah! I think so.” Fancy revved his engine again.

 

“Your car sucks!” laughed Blondie, chomping her gum.

 

“Ohhhh, that does it. You just crossed the line.” Creevy revved his own engine, smoke billowing.

 

“Let’s go, man! It’s go time!” called Fancy.

 

“Yeah, go time – I’ll ‘go time’ your ass!”

 

“Don’t do it, Creevy!” said Dean.

 

“Nobody insults my car!”

 

“It’s not worth it. You’re gonna get us all killed!”

 

“My car, my rules!” Creevy snapped.

 

The light turned green. The roadster’s double-wide back tires spun on the pavement, squealing and spitting out black smoke. The car leaped forward, engine bellowing with power.

 

Creevy hit the gas and his engine burst into flames. The lemonade sign caught fire.

 

“Dammit son-of-a-bitch!” Creevy snatched the fire extinguisher, leaped out of his car and doused the flames. Smoke jetted in through the air vents and everyone started coughing again. Dean was beginning to feel lightheaded and nauseous from the fumes. Creevy tossed the fire extinguisher back in, jumped back into his seat and re-started the engine. He pushed back on his seat. “Come on, Jimmy, for Chrissakes, give me some room here, will ya?”

 

Jimmy didn’t respond. He had lost consciousness again.

 

The car started slowly, gradually picking up speed, Creevy with both hands on the left side of the steering wheel pulling down with all his strength. The other car was out of sight.

 

“Give it up, they’re long gone,” said Steve.

 

“No way. Those two are laughing at me right now.”

 

The AMC Pacer was up to fifty miles per hour now. He blew through stop signs, red lights, intersections, whatever. The car was so loud people could hear it coming from a mile off and get out of the way, so in that regard, it was the safest car on the road. 

 

The town fell behind them. County Road 66 ran straight west all the way across to Lake Michigan. North Bel-Aire was only about twelve miles away now. No more lights, no more stop signs. Nothing but forest. Creevy’s foot was hard on the gas and the speedometer crept up to sixty. The car frame began to shake and rattle. Wind blasted through the open table top. 

 

“You made your point, Creevy!” Dean yelled over the noise. “Let it go, man!”

 

Creevy ignored him. He smacked Steve on the ass. “Yo, Steve! Close that sunroof, will ya? We’ll get more velocity.”

 

Steve reached up, grabbed the back half of the table and hauled it closed. When he did so, he caused Kevin to shift and press an elbow into Dean’s groin. 

 

“Ow! Move your elbow!” Dean tried to turn away. 

 

“You’re on my beard again.” Gandalf poked Dean in the back. “Scooch over.”

 

“You’re kidding, right? Kevin! You’re elbow! Seriously!” 

 

“Stop screwing around you guys! I’m trying to drive.”

 

Something under the car snapped, dragged on the street for a few seconds and then fell off and bounced away. The pink plastic from the front quarter panel ripped off and sailed up on the wind.

 

They were doing almost seventy now and Dean didn’t know how much more the car could take. The entire thing wobbled and shook around them. He had a feeling they’d be walking home tonight and he hoped there would be no permanent damage to his legs. That is, if they survived the trip at all.

 

The lemonade sign was on fire again. The flames swept back over the windshield. Smoke belched through the air vents, filling the cabin.

 

“I can’t breathe!” shouted Steve. “Open the sunroof!”

 

“Don’t you dare!” said Creevy.

 

Seventy-five miles per hour. A weird grinding noise came from the engine. Creevy poked on the radio.* The song Wipe Out! blasted from the speakers.

 

“Yeah, baby! Rock and roll!”

 

Kevin’s elbow stabbed into Dean’s crotch.

 

“Ah! Kevin, for god’s sake, your elbow!”

 

“If you don’t get off my beard…” threatened Gandalf.

 

“What are you gonna do old man? You left your staff back at the hotel!”

 

“Oh, I don’t know. I can do this.” Gandalf grabbed Dean’s foot and twisted.

 

Dean reached back, grabbed a handful of Gandalf’s robed and yanked. The rope ripped, exposing Gandalf’s bare shoulder.

 

“You tore my robe!”

 

Dean couldn’t take it anymore. He placed both hands on Kevin’s back and pushed as hard as he could. Kevin tipped sideways and fell across Creevy’s lap. The car swerved onto the shoulder and took out a mile marker sign. The burning lemonade sign came off, slid across the hood and lodged itself under the windshield wiper.

 

“Dammit! I can’t see!”

 

Creevy turned on the wipers and the sign, now just a square of flames, slid back and forth across his vision. He hunched over low so he could see through the little space that opened and closed.

 

And they continued to gain speed. Eighty. Eighty-two. Eighty-five.

 

Kevin started kicking and thrashing and the Lay-Z-Boy slid sideways, crushing Sam. Kevin’s foot came down on the ashtray, ripped it off the dashboard and a tornado of ashes and cigarette butts swirled through the car. Sam shoved the Lay-Z-Boy back across to the other side. The footrest caught on something and the chair rotated sideways.

 

The car went off the road again and smashed through a mailbox. Creevy, now facing right, shoved Kevin off his lap, got up on his knees and pushed down on the wheel with both hands. The car swerved back onto the road, but with Creevy’s foot now off the gas, it began slowing down.

 

Dean craned his neck to look out the window. He saw houses. They were in North Bel-Aire.

 

The car coasted to a grinding stop. The lemonade sign was gone and Creevy stared out the front window.

 

Jimmy Kirk yawned, stretched and said, “Are we there yet?”

 

“Hey, guys,” said Creevy, pointing. “Check it out.” 

 

About two hundred yards ahead was the Lazy Deuce Club. Its neon sign spelled the name of the club in blue letters and above that, a red neon woman reclined in a giant martini glass. It was eight o’clock Saturday night. There were only a few cars in the parking lot now. By ten o’clock the place would be packed. 

 

But it was one car in particular that Creevy was focused on. A yellow Ford coupe roadster. The same one they’d seen earlier.

 

“Ohhh, shit,” said Steve.


	16. On the Banks of the Red Cedar (College AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Mozy

Kevin liked Professor Castiel’s theology class best of all his courses this semester, but it was the Friday before spring break and the students at Michigan State University were winter chapped and spring loaded to be done for awhile. On any other day Kevin would stay after class and assist his professor, but today all he could think about was the party planned for later tonight. Kevin was conflicted: although a very devout man his boyfriend was something of a rogue. Kev’s mom said to stay away from that witchcraft-practicing ghoul, but Kevin couldn’t wait to hook up with Harry later. 

 

 

The Rhythm Fusions were loaded into the Aztek, seats full to capacity and the hatch full of weekend bags and a keg. They weren’t sure where they’d be crashing later, but figured Steve would offer up his floor to them. Paris, Ashley, Kara, Matt and Gace had no idea of what to expect from a dorm party, but were up for anything. They hooted with laughter when the keg, rolling around in the back hatch, crashed into the side of the car and cracked the plastic door panel. 

 

“Yea! A hundred and sixty pounds of liquid party back there! OW!!”

 

 

Dean walked past the Biology building on his way from his last class, figuring to catch up with his brother on their way back to the dorm. He spotted Sam near a magnolia tree in front of the building. Sam wasn’t hard to spot, at 6’4” he stood out in a crowd. But what caught Dean’s eye was Sam’s posture. He was leaning in and slightly over a cute curly-haired girl with multi-hued hair who had her back up against the tree. He was flirting, that was clear from a mile away. A sideways grin split Dean’s lips, revealing his pearly white teeth. Sam said goodbye, saw Dean on the sidewalk and walked toward him.

 

“Who was that?”

 

“Her name is JJ; she’s in my biology class.”

 

“Yea, I got the impression you were discussing biology, but not the class work kind.”

 

“Whatever. I invited her to the party later. If she comes don’t poach.”

 

“Sammy, would I do that to you?”

 

“Yea, you might. So don’t.”

 

They took a turn toward Grand River to stop for tacos before heading home.

 

 

Brad, aka Fred or sometimes Greg, wasn’t leaving anything to chance for tonight. A LOT of people were told about this party; who knew how many would show up? The Resident Assistant, along with most of the students from their dorm floor, were already gone for spring break, so no one in authority was left behind to harsh their freak. Brad walked the hall and unscrewed as many light bulbs as he could reach, replacing them with red ones. Nothing brought the “yea, baby” to a party like red light ambiance. The chicks dig it; they respond to it. Definitely a worthwhile investment. He already got some kegs lined up with Dave Wooderson, (alright alright alright!) and that dude never disappointed. Brad’s mom got him a case of red solo cups at Costco and never inquired why he needed so many. Costco: Hell Yes! Last but not least, the bowling pins and the mattress…

 

 

Steve hopped up on the top trundle bed and let his long legs dangle over the edge. Jimmy K was on his way over, and they were about to convert this sleep box into a den of get-your-groove-on potential. The Rhythm Fusions were on their way here for the party and they were gonna need a place to crash. Five of them plus him and Jimmy equaled Best Night Ever? Paris, Kara and Ashley were some fierce beasts…even a little scary sometimes, which made them even more exciting. He pictured Paris hoisting the keg up overhead and onto her shoulder, and carrying it up five flights of stairs. He didn’t know what was better: her, or all that beer? He smiled, then frowned, wondering if Jimmy K being there was gonna be a problem. Him and Jim had a “thing”, but Jimmy was also known as a ladies man and brought his sexy with him everywhere he went. Hmmm, gonna have to see how this goes; two different kinds of jealousy surged through Steve. 

 

“Push it away, Push it out. Negativity? No vacancy!” He dropped to the floor for 20 quick push-ups then jumped up and started kickboxing the air to get his endorphins back up.

 

 

 

 

The Aztek pulled into a front spot at John Holmes hall on the MSU campus and the quintet fell out of the car, stretching their legs and backs. Paris slid out from behind the drivers side seat and swung her dark blond hair into a whiplash-like cascade of rolling curls. Then she bent over at the waist, produced a giant can of hair spray from thin air and proceeded to blast. A flip of her head and a spectrum of glory was born. Matt, Gace and Ashley shook out their rock star hair, Ashley’s a crown of purple hues, and Kara flipped back the hood of her leather sleeveless and gave her surroundings a withering look. The Rhythm Fusions had arrived. They took the elevator up to the fifth floor and approached Steve’s dorm door, just to have it swing open before they could knock. They were met by a smoldering look from a tasty morsel of a man, clad in skintight tan slacks and a shiny polyester shirt with 3 buttons undone. His blond hair was slicked back in a way that said, “I’m professional, but I’m also ready for action, including the one-on-one kind.” When he saw the group he sucked in his stomach and puffed out his chest. Ashley gave him a knowing smile and a little wink. Kara got all warm and squishy. Steve came up behind the Adonis.

 

“Heeey, you made it! Come in.”

 

Steve’s room looked like a Sultan’s harem’s quarters. Paper lanterns gave off a soft glow and the room was peppered with blankets and pillows. The desks were cleared and covered in lit candles, and all signs of coursework had been hidden. A gigantic backpack that apparently held it all and looked to weigh about 40 pounds was stuffed into the corner of the room. 

 

“My roommate went home for spring break. This,” He pointed at the slicked back blond man, “is Jimmy K., or you can call him The Captain. So…Mi Casa, Su Casa.” He wiggled his eyebrows.

 

 

 

 

By 10 pm two empty kegs were rolling down the stairwell steps and Wooderson was on another booze run. Brad figured maybe he should take up a collection from everyone while this party was still banging just in case they needed to bail The Wooder out of jail later. But that thought flew out the window when Bella from his criminal psychology class arrived. Long, reddish-tinted brown waves of silken hair, piercing turquoise eyes and a British accent: Gorgeous but with a touch of hardness to her that said, “you WILL bow to this Bitch.” 

 

Bella walked into the hall like she was walking into a board meeting, scanned the crowd and landed on Brad, the only familiar face in the group. Hmm, this guy. What’s his name? Greg? Fred? The fool whose been staring at me all semester but never approaches me. Maybe I ought to yank his chain a little … She strode over to him.

 

“Hello, Bella.”

 

“Hello, Fr…, Gr…, Br…”

 

“It’s Brad, Bella. My name is Brad. And after tonight you won’t forget it.”

 

Bella’s eyebrows raised and a smile split her lips.

 

“Is that so, Brad?”

 

Brad held up one finger, walked away for a quick moment and returned from Kevin’s room holding a bubbling beaker full of the Harry Potter special. He handed it to Bella.

 

“Yes, it is. So you might as well call your roommate and let her know you won’t be coming home tonight. Might wanna call your momma too and tell her not to show up to take you home til sometime tomorrow afternoon. You’re gonna be busy.”

 

 

 

 

Dean stood back at the end of the hall and watched the group party. Doors were open all along the hall; some with card games, drinking games and board games, other’s were angled closed, at least temporarily, for more private parties. The hall was rocking with kegs at both ends and dancing down the middle. Harry Potter was stationed in Kevin’s room with his entire Chemistry kit set up mixing drinks. This was a must-stop location and there was a line waiting out the door for one of Harry’s original creations. Dean walked ahead of everyone and without being asked Harry handed him a blue concoction in beaker. Dean walked back out into the hall and scanned: JJ had come after all, and she and Sam were standing close, whispering to each other over the din of music. Damn she was cute! A sloppy mess of curls in stripes of brunet, blond and red, and booty for days. Dean liked seeing his little brother look so happy, and glad he got himself a hot one, but he felt a little voyeuristic watching him work his game so he turned and gave a look around. One group, apparently out of town friends of Steve’s, caught his eye and he walked over.

 

“Hey, don’t I know you? Aztek? Fry pile? Dance off?”

 

Dean was loose and glowy, a little dewy looking from the beer, booze and warmth from all the bodies in the hallway, his green eyes shiny, pupils wide and dark. Paris gazed at him, mouth slightly hung open, unable to speak. Matt trembled and Kara started crying. Gace smiled weirdly and started to mumble. Ashley just smirked.

 

“Oh yea. And the re-do is on. Assemble your crew; we meet at sunrise by the clock tower. This time I come home with the trophy. Or on it.” With that Ashley turned and walked away, coming up behind Jimmy K, first slapping, then squeezing his butt and pushing under his arm, taking him away from Steve. Dean watched her walk away, eyebrows knitted, then returned his gaze to the other four, who still stood before him speechless, crying or mumbling unintelligibly. He shrugged and with a last look over at Sam who was now slow dancing with JJ to “Tell Me Something Good” by Rufus, he returned to his room alone.

 

Dean closed his dorm door and turned off the light. He knew that Sam may eventually come in with JJ, looking for some privacy. He figured he’d cross that bridge when he got to it. Normally he would be out trolling for a pick-up at a party like this. Those Rhythm Fusions looked like easy pickings, but Man, that was a weird reaction he got from them. What the hell was that about? Crying? That was a new one. But whatever, seeing Sam with JJ made Dean feel almost parental, and that was a serious blow to his mojo. 

 

Dean climbed onto the ledge of their window box and pulled his knees up, looking out over the view of the campus, sipping at his blue beaker. Springtime on the MSU campus was majestic; Dean leaned his head back against the window frame and listened to the bass thump of the music in the hall pounding in the walls. He barely heard his door click open.

 

“Hi, can I come in?”

 

Dean watched as the silhouette leaned into the door. Familiar warmth spread through him.

 

“Sure, Ezri. Close the door.”

 

Dean had been watching the gray-eyed beauty from across his Hotel Management class for weeks before he finally realized who she was. He was embarrassed it took so long, but relieved when it dawned on him. He was glad she was here now.

 

Ezri joined Dean in the window seat, sitting across from him.

 

“Taking the night off?”

 

“I don’t know, Ezri. Am I?” Dean went into automatic flirt mode and smiled sideways at her. Ezri responded with only a raised eyebrow, and he immediately relaxed back into his normal self. He was suddenly surprised how often he was wearing some mask or another; wearing whichever persona he needed to portray for any given situation. He felt instantly grateful he didn’t need to do that with her. He could be anybody, or nobody, with her. The only other person he felt that way with was Sam. Dean leaned forward and reached for Ezri’s hands, which she offered and he took them into his, letting her warmth spread through him. She had that effect; simply her touch could release all the tension in him and sooth whatever ailed him.

 

“I wanted to give Sam his space. He’s out there with JJ, and that seems to be progressing well. She’s a banger; I’m rootin’ for him.”

 

Dean smiled and continued. “I talked to that group of fabulous hairs, Steve’s friends, or rather I tried to talk to them, but that got weird fast when they all locked up and stood there looking crazy. Although I did glean that apparently I am supposed to assemble a crew for a dance off at sunrise. Or something like that.” Dean looked confused. “I don’t know why, but I feel a little alien here today.”

 

Ezri leaned forward and pulled him toward her, their foreheads touching. Dean felt a familiar love spread through him, and was both grateful and resentful for it. Ezri felt his conflict and braced for it.

 

“Why do I feel like I need you, Ezri? I don’t want to feel that. I don’t want to need anybody.”

 

“Because it’s why I’m here, Dean. It’s my purpose.” She pulled his fist to her lips and kissed the top gently. “Since you were four years old you weren’t allowed to be a baby anymore. No one should have to grow up at four; but you did, and you did a fine job of parenting Sam enough to let him feel babied whenever he needed it. You still do. And he knows how to accept that feeling. But he’s a man now, and he can be nurturing in return. Including to you, which you will never allow.” Ezri crossed over to Dean and settled in next to him. “Let me baby you, Dean. It’s ok, I promise you. You can let go with me. This time, and every time.”

 

Ezri leaned back into the corner of the window box and opened her arms to him. Dean hesitated just a moment, then laid his head on her chest and leaned into her as she enclosed him in her arms.


	17. On the Banks of the Red Cedar Pt 2 (College AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Mozy

Andy walked out of his and Kevin’s dorm and saw Kara across the hall. He straightened the lapel on his satin smoking robe and approached. 

 

“Hey girl, you look like you like to dance.”

 

Kara turned around. “Yea? I like a lot of things. So?”

 

Andy’s lips gave a slight twitch and his eyes sparkled. “So come down to this room and dance with me. Right now.”

 

Kara’s eyes glazed over and she followed Andy. 

 

“Get me a drink first.”

 

Kara reached out and snagged a cup out of the hand of the first person she passed and handed it to Andy. He smiled at her and led her into Steve’s empty room. Matt peeked in to see Kara in Andy’s arms circling the floor to “Hot in Herre” and laughing. Andy took notice of him in the doorway and said, “You are joining us.” Matt’s eyes turned to glass and he walked in with them.

 

 

Gace noticed the gorgeous blond all the way down the hall. Her eyes were crystal blue and piercing and she carried herself with a “who gives a shit” attitude, which only made her hotter. Gace took a gulp of liquid courage and started his trek down the long hall in her direction. She looked like she was there with a mission, but she wasn’t making any moves toward it, just standing there observing. Whatever, thought Gace, What the Hell? He approached her and when she turned her attention toward him her pupils were so blown out that her eyes looked all black. 

 

Whoa, this chick is obliterated. Easy squeezy…

 

“Heey, my name is Gace.”

 

“Ruby”

 

“Aa, you wanna…”

 

“No. But I will go for a walk with you.” She turned and started toward the stairwell exit. Gace followed. 

 

“Were you looking for someone in there? You seemed to be searching the crowd.”

 

“Well, I was, but he’s occupied and it can wait.” Ruby observed Gace, taking her time looking him up and down. You look like a good boy from Niceville who needs a trip to the inner city of Hellsburg. Lucky for you, I’m your ride.” She reached into the inner pocket of her leather coat and pulled out a flask. “Here, take a pull.”

 

Gace took a sip off the rim and instantly blew back. He was in the middle of the desert under the unforgiving sun. Across from him was Ruby, holding his hands and spinning with him in a circle. Her blond hair swung out in an arc, disappearing in the sharp rays of the sun. Gace closed his eyes, Picturing himself in a boat on a river

 

With tangerine trees and marmalade skies

 

Somebody called him, he answered quite slowly:

 

A girl with kaleidoscope eyes.

 

Gace opened his eyes: Ruby was running in front of him, pulling him along until they were teetering on the edge of a bridge over the Red Cedar River. She turned and smiled up at him with a swing of her thick, black wavy hair and dark brown eyes boring into him. 

 

“Come on, I’ll catch you.” She jumped into the water and before he could think how ridiculous that was, or why she looked entirely different, Gace jumped into her arms.

 

 

 

 

The music was so loud that no one heard the thump of wings when Castiel landed on the fifth floor fire escape. He came in through the stairwell and observed the debauchery in front of him. Sam was inching himself closer to the girl with the streaked hair and it was apparent that they would soon mesh into one unit. There was no sign of Dean. Cas walked the hall looking into rooms with doors both opened and closed, as he had the power of that vision. Many of the activities made him shake his head in shame and disappointment. Some rooms made him blush. Steve’s room looked like the bedroom of an ancient Bedouin King: Sexy and inviting, but as of now empty. Kevin’s room, the loudest, made him narrow his eyes into slits. That Harry Potter was a terrible influence on Kevin’s spirituality, but he sure did sport some charisma and Cas could see why Kevin was smitten with him. Cas stood in the doorway watching intently as Harry, a tie wrapped around his head like a headband, stood pouring over bubbling and smoking beakers, and Kevin danced wildly with the people in the room.

 

“Hey there, Professor Heavenly.”

 

Cas turned to see the dark blond with the curly mane and the colorful outfit, her hand wrapped around his shoulder.

 

“Boy, you are a cute one. What’s an angel-face like you doing at a party like this?” 

 

Cas regarded the girl before him, hesitated and said, “Meeting you, I guess. I’m Cas.”

 

“Well, I’m Paris. But you can call me Showtime and yourself Lucky. I just might be cuttin’ myself a piece of angel food cake tonight.” 

 

Cas paused. He had come there to gather his troops, but he figured they could enjoy a few more hours of this party before shoving off. When in Rome, right? He let the girl, Paris, take his hand and dance him into Kevin’s room and over to Harry’s beaker bar. 

 

 

Steve was thrilled to finally get some people into his room. The Rhythm Fusions were lounging around, Kara and Matt occupying his top trundle with Andy. Ashley was sitting on Jimmy K’s lap, which irritated the shit out of Steve. Paris was the with the Goody Two Shoes professor which was creepy in itself, but he looked a little compromised so it took the holier-than-thou shine off of him. No one got out of Paris’ clutches without some tarnish. Gace was nowhere to be found.

 

“Dude, I think you have mice in your walls.” Andy wrapped an arm around Kara and Matt each as he spoke.

 

“Dude, not my walls. I just rent em’”

 

“Well, something is scurrying around up there.”

 

With a thundering crash and a shower of splintering plaster Colin Creevy came crashing through the ceiling of Steve’s room near his overhead vent.

 

“What the hell!!?? Creevy, you little Fuck! What the hell are you doing?”

 

Colin Creevy lay twisted on Steve’s floor trying to catch the breath that was knocked from him. 

 

“Colin, you idiot! Get up!” An angry female voice through the hole finally motivated him to stir.

 

The group looked up into the hole to see Kaia peering down.

 

“Kaia!! What are you doing here?!” Paris yelled.

 

“I’m visiting my boyfriend. It’s not like you jerks invited me to come with you.”

 

Steve looked from ceiling to floor. “Creevy, what are you doing in my ceiling?”

 

“I was trying to score me and Kaia some beer.”

 

“No drinking for you, Kaia,” Ashley said, “I need you sober. Clock tower at sun up. Come full out.”

 

 

 

 

Dean woke well into the night, up in the platform loft where he and Sam slept. It was a tight fit up there: only about 18 inches of clearance from mattress to ceiling but it gave them a virtual second floor to their dorm, so it was worth the claustrophobia. There was a lot of yelling and the crash of bowling pins (?) in the hallway, but Dean ignored it and pulled the woman in his arms closer to his chest, planting a kiss on her forehead. She wrapped a sleepy arm around his waist and reached up with a burning kiss to his mouth. Dean recognized the taste Amaretto on her tongue just as she reared back, gasping. Dean reached up and pulled her back toward him just before she could smash the back of her head into the ceiling and knock herself out. Her eyes were saucers and a scream threatened to escape her before Dean cupped his hand over her mouth. JJ hovered over him, trapped in his arms, looking terrified. He mouthed the sound, “Shhh”, and let her go.

 

“Oh my god, oh my god. I’m sorry! I must have climbed into the wrong bed when I came back from the bathroom. I’m sorry!!” JJ started to crawl away from Dean toward Sam’s side of the loft. He was out cold, spread eagle on the mattress. She curled up next to him and he spooned against her in his sleep.

 

“But DAAAMN! You. Are. Fine.” She buried her face in the crook of Sam’s elbow.

 

“He knows, JJ.” Sam whispered into her hair. She turned and snuggled into him as he kissed her. They were back to sleep in seconds.

 

“No worries, JJ. A mistake, no big deal.”

 

Dean lay back and took a moment to taste the almond glaze on his lips and breathe in the soft essence of her that lingered over him. Umm, he was glad for Sammy. Even in that few seconds he appreciated how soft and warm she felt, and imagined Sam getting the full treatment. 

 

He wondered where Ezri had gone, then heard her reenter and climb up the loft ladder. A moment later she was beside him. 

 

“Dance off at sunrise.”

 

“I know. Does fist-pumping count as dancing?”

 

“Sure, why not. Cas is out there. Apparently he’s organizing it.”

 

“Cas? The professor?”

 

“Uh, yeah, I guess.” Ezri hesitated. Should she tell Dean what’s up with this universe, or just let it unfold until it was time to hop again? Sometimes they knew something was “off”, but other times the group had no clue. It felt so good laying here with him; he was relaxed and worry-free in a way he seldom got to be and she was loathe to ruin that. It would change soon enough. In fact, their entire group was off the leash; the party was at full throttle and they were free flying. Even Cas had given in and just enjoyed this run. Why shouldn’t they all? She snuggled against him. He was bracing to say something to her, and she could tell it wasn’t easy for him, so she waited patiently, gently tracing his features with her fingertip. Finally he pulled her closer and spoke. He whispered; clearly he didn’t want Sam and JJ to hear in case they woke up.

 

“Ezri, when you show up it’s automatic for me: I want you, and I’m going to have you. Even when I don’t recognize you right away the feeling is there. But not in a slutty way. In a…love way. And after we’ve been together…life realigns itself and I feel right with the world. Why is it so easy with you? I don’t have to work at it.” 

 

“You don’t have to work too hard in this department too often, Sweetie.”

 

“Yea, true. But emotionless encounters vaporize afterward. That is sport, or distraction. But this, between us: it’s effortless, and natural.” He dropped his voice even lower, “I know just from looking at Sam when you’re together that he feels the same about you as I do. It…it feels like a religious experience.”

 

Ezri cleared her throat, and took her time answering. “Well, because it kind of is. Remember who I am; this is my job. I am for you and Sam in any way you want or need. Unfortunately, or luckily, it’s hungry work.” It was clear that Dean now had a better understanding of his and Sam’s relationship with her, even if he didn’t know the full details of the interspace conundrum they were in. But she didn’t want to mitigate any of their feelings by making it sound custodial, because it was anything but. Dangerously so.

 

“Are we…becoming a little too close, Ezri? You, me and Sam?”

 

“I don’t know. But I think I have exceeded the parameters of my station and assignment with you two. I can’t help it. I can’t. I’m afraid of the consequences, but can’t stop myself.”

 

“I don’t want you to stop, Ezri. I don’t want you to leave our lives, no matter what the consequences.”

 

“What you’re asking…It’s complicated. This is a place in time that you may not remain in. Decisions we make here may not work in other places.”

 

“This, us, it’s worked everywhere so far, hasn’t it? That’s a bet I’m willing to place.”

 

“Dean, I can’t get in the way of your human lives. I’m supposed to bring you the support you need and leave. Not linger…like this. I’m not allowed. You must be allowed to live out your experiences”

 

“Then don’t interrupt those experiences. But be other experiences for us along with them. One doesn’t have to negate the other, does it?”

 

“It’s not supposed to. But I’m beginning to wonder.”

 

“Well, look at Sam. He loves you too but here’s JJ, a real life experience. His love and need for you didn’t interfere with this happening. And Sam’s no player; when he gets with someone he means it. So this,” he threw a thumb in Sam’s and JJ’s direction, “isn’t meaningless.” He implored Ezri with his eyes. “I needed you tonight, and I’m glad you came; and I’m glad you stayed. And I am glad, for once, to not be a ringleader. You give me the time off I need. Thank you for … everything.” He punctuated with a slow, gentle kiss.

 

 

Across the loft they heard the rustle of bodies as Sam and JJ stirred, then started to reignite their play. Dean turned to watch them but Ezri gave him an admonishing look. He smiled at her and called out, “Hey! Easy Rider! Slow your roll, you have an audience.” 

 

Sam turned over and looked at them across the loft. His eyes rolled and a groan escaped his throat as he fell back.

 

Dean took Ezri by the hand and pulled her toward the loft ladder.

 

“On second thought, Sammy, the place is all yours. We’re going down to the caf for some coffee. I’ll save you some. Dance off is at sunrise by the clock tower. Try to be done by then. Oh! And find out if JJ can dance. If so, bring her.”

 

 

Two groups assembled at the clock tower as the sun was cresting the horizon. The Rhythm Fusions, minus Gace, had support from Andy, Jimmy K. and Creevy. Dean and Sam arrived with JJ, Ezri, Harry, Kevin and Cas. Cas stared longingly across the lot at Paris, who blew him a kiss as she winked. 

 

“Sorry you switched teams, Angel. But I enjoyed you while I had you.”

 

Ashley was growing impatient. “Yea, Yea. Let’s get this show on the road.” 

 

She and Matt jazz ran into a leap and landed into a roll to the ground. They rolled, flipped over backward, spun on one knee and were back up turning away from one another. Ashley lept into the air and was caught on Matt’s shoulder on one knee. With her other leg behind her he set into a series of pivots. They looked like a pinwheel.

 

Paris looked around, wondering where the hell Gace was. She saw him approaching from the direction of the river, all wet and looking worn hard.

 

“Damn it, Gace! Where were you? Get ready, we’re up next.”

 

“I don’t think my legs work right anymore.”

 

“Well they damn well better. We are not losing this dance battle.”

 

Gace closed his eyes and breathed deep, remembering his night with Ruby. He grabbed Paris by the hand and rolled her into him, then back out and in. Their feet took off in a flurry of salsa moves as Gace, hair sending an arc of water droplets flying, expertly moved her through the lot when suddenly their tempo slowed and he pulled her in for a torrid Tango. Step step slide, flick of the legs, lift turn and drop. Paris slid down in front of him and back up, her leg shooting into the air. He turned her and dropped her into a dip.

 

JJ walked to center stage, “I got this.” She started slow, with a series of belly dance body undulations, camel walks and snake arms but broke into a flurry of hip pops and drops. Sam smiled so deep his dimples caved in and he ran his clammy palms down his thighs. She finished with a blinding turn of shimmies, hips shaking like a paint mixer.

 

“Whatever. Peep this.” Kara walked out, dropped into a 1 beat squat and back up. Glide pop, glide pop, tut tut tut tut tut tut. Gace and Matt dropped to the ground and spun into a break dance while Paris, Kaia, and Ashley joined Kara. All six broke into freestyle krump. JJ, watched them from across the lot with a smirk. Suddenly she walked into their group and joined them, krumping with them. 

 

Dean approached their group, addressing JJ. “Hey! Why do you know their stuff?”

 

“Cuz when I’m not at MSU I dance at Rhythm Fusion too.”

 

A rumbling bass beat from a rap song floats across the air and Dean walks right up to JJ and starts to rock his hips. 

 

“You started on our crew so you finish on our crew.”

 

He got closer and shot JJ a smoldering smile. JJ stepped up to him. They faced each other, rolling hips and shoulders shimmying their way back to their group. The Rhythm Fusions were all momentarily stunned watching him: Paris’ jaw dropped, Matt hugged himself, Kara started crying, and Gace started mumbling. Ashley looked at them disgustedly.

 

Cas had had the time of his life here, but he knew it was time to go. He walked forward and the crowd parted. He deboule’d into place, prepped and launched into Fouettés en tournant which became so fast that he blurred. He finished with a series of Grand Jete’s circling tighter and tighter around his group until everyone in the circle disappeared…


	18. Shake it Off (Dance Troop AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Father Parpar

Cas ended his Pirouettes with a final barrel jump and then landed, ending with a flourish. The crowd cheered. Breathing hard, Cas lowered his arms and took his bow. He exited the stage to his right where he could see his friends waiting in the wings for him. 

 

“That was amazing!” Ezri whisper shouted when they got safely offstage.

 

“You nailed it,” added Dean. 

 

Cas got a round of high fives from Steve and Jimmy K, then they made their way out the back. They entered their dressing room and an applause erupted from the others in their troop. Sam was there, and so was Kevin, Harry, Charlie and Jo. 

 

“You’re so gonna get gold!“ said Charlie. “Those Rhythm Fusions don’t stand a chance.”

 

“Yeah, you got this in the bag!” shouted Sam. 

 

“Thanks, guys. But I don’t know…” said Cas. “Paris has a solo and she’s really good.”

 

“Yeah, but at least it’s not Ashley,” said Jo as she began wrapping her foot getting ready for the next routine. “Ashley’s the best.”

 

“That’s true,” said Dean, putting a hand on Cas’s shoulder. 

 

Charlie, Jo, and Ezri finished the last touches on their costumes for their trio, waiting for their time to go out. Their costumes were a vibrant sea foam green with lots of frills and flowery hair pieces. 

 

“Good luck you guys,” said Kevin. They got a round of “good lucks” from everyone and then they left to do their routine. 

 

 

Team Freewill sped down the city streets. They had all gotten Platinum and won overall first place! The dance troop of ten all celebrated, laughing and hooting in Dean’s Impala. In the front seat, Dean sat in the driver’s seat and Charlie and Sam sat next to him. In the back sat Cas, Kevin, Harry, Steve, Jimmy K, Ezri, and Jo. They drove down the city streets that night, yowing at people. They had just came from a celebratory dinner and now they were about to stop for ice cream at DQ, which was tradition after yowing. Dean pulled into a DQ. Steve, who sat by the window in the back, leaned out the window and yowed at someone in the parking lot. 

 

“Steve!” Kevin, who was sitting next to him, smacked his arm. “You can’t yow people in parking lots that we’re pulling into!” 

 

Dean pulled through the drive through to the speaker. 

 

The girl stood at the drive through window, waiting to take the order. 

 

“Hi, welcome to Dairy Queen. What can I get you?” she said into her mic, as she’d done too many times to count already today. 

 

“Hi, we’re gonna get…What do you all want?” There was a jumble of voices and shouting before he finally answered. “…Okay, we’ll get three Oreo Frostys, two cookie dough Frotstys, four vanilla medium cones, one chocolate cone, and ten Chicken Boxes. Oh, and three Cokes… Make that four… What’s that? Okay five cokes. And a Cherry Coke… Two Cherry cokes. What?…no Cas, we’re not getting a cake. No…Kevin don’t encourage him. No…okay, seriously? You all want a cake? Okay, and we’ll get an Ice Cream Birthday cake.”

 

“The biggest birthday cake!” shouted a different voice.

 

The girl waited a moment, listening to her headphones for any more. Finally, she said, “Okay, will that be all?”

 

“Is that it?” she heard the man ask the others in the car. “Yeah, that’s it.”

 

“Okay, your total is going to be $97.16. Please pull up to the first window.” 

 

Dean rolled up to the window. Before the girl could get to the window, Dean collected money from everyone in the car. He counted out the correct amount and handed it to the girl. Then she came back with their order. She handed them item after item and Dean passed it all out. Then, she came back with a big cardboard box and squeezed it through the window. Dean grabbed the heavy box and wrestled it through his window, then handed it to Charlie. Charlie opened it to reveal the ten chicken boxes then she passed them out to everyone. Then the girl passed the giant birthday cake through the window. Then Dean sped off.

 

The ten friends celebrated the rest of the night, enjoying their ice cream and chicken. 

 

The next day, Cas walked down the street on his way to work at the Starbucks. He took his turn down the alley. The ground was still wet from the rain last night. The alley was empty, but halfway down, Cas was stopped as a gang came around the corner. They all stopped in front of him. There were four of them. 

 

“Castiel, right?” said the one in front. She was a slim girl with a pink and purple pixie cut. She wore a leather jacket and a super cute outfit. Behind her was a tall, extremely stylish girl with strawberry curly hair and black rimmed glasses, a shorter girl with a light green leather jacket and short brown hair, and a tall boy with red hair and glasses. 

 

Castiel nervously took his hands out of the pockets of his pea coat. The four terribly good looking people eyed him intimidatingly. 

 

“Yes, that’s me,” he said. He swore he recognized them from somewhere…

 

“We’re from the Rhythm Fusions,” said the colorful haired girl. “My name is Ashley and this is Paris, Kara, and Matt.”

 

That’s right! Thought Cas. The Rhythm Fusions. That’s where I know them from.

 

“You’re from Team Free Will right?” Ashley continued. 

 

Cas nodded. 

 

“Well, we just came to warn you to watch your back. All of you. Cause we’re comin’ for you. You might have won this time, but we won’t let you get away with it,” she said. Tilting her chin up. “We challenge you to a dance battle!”

 

“Bring your troop,” said Kara. 

 

“And your weapons!” said Matt. 

 

“No, it’s not a fight Matt,” said Paris.

 

“Oh, right.”

 

“We’ll meet here, in this alley,” said Ashley. “Saturday night, ten o’clock. Be here or be square.”

 

“We’ll be here,” said Cas, narrowing his eyes at them. 

 

“Good,” Ashley shoved past him followed by Paris, Kara, and Matt. Cas continued walking. “Oh, hey, one more thing!” 

 

Cas stopped and turned around. 

 

“Word on the street is that there’s a new troop on the streets,” said Ashley. “They’re called The Heat Seekers.”

 

“Why are you telling me this?” asked Cas, confused that they would warn him of this. 

 

“Just watch your back. I hear these people are dangerous.” She said, then they turned and left. Cas hurried the rest of the way to work. 

 

Starbucks is always busy in the afternoons, but Cas still couldn’t help thinking about his encounter with the Rhythm Fusions. At three pm sharp, Dean walked in as he always does every day when he gets out of the mechanics shop. He went to the counter with Cas behind it. 

 

“Hello Dean,” he said. 

 

“Hey Cas,” said Dean. 

 

“Dean, I have to tell you something,” said Cas before Dean could start talking. “On my way here this morning, I ran into some of the Rhythm Fusions.”

 

“The troop?” asked Dean, his eyes widening. 

 

“Yes.”

 

“What happened? Are you okay?”

 

“Yes, I’m fine. They challenged our troop to a dance battle,” said Cas, tending to a customer. 

 

“When? Where?” asked Dean, leaning his elbows on the counter. 

 

Cas began making the customer’s Double Caramel Crème Mint Chocolate Pumpkin Spice Vanilla Swirl Pretzel Dolce Flan Triple Skinny Mocha Latte Strawberry Frappuccino with extra foam and chocolate drizzle. “They want to battle in that alley that I go through to get here. Saturday at ten,” he explained. 

 

“Should we do it?” asked Dean. 

 

“I don’t think we have a choice,” said Cas, handing the customer their Double Caramel Mint Chocolate Pumpkin Spice Vanilla Swirl Pretzel Dolce Flan Triple Skinny Mocha Latte Strawberry Frappuccino with extra foam and chocolate drizzle. “And anyway, what’s the harm? We stand a fair chance against them. I mean, we beat them in the competition yesterday.”

 

“True, but this is different,” said Dean, still uneasy about the idea. 

 

“How?”

 

“I dunno…”

 

“We’ll run it by the others later, see what they think,” said Cas. 

 

“Yeah.”

 

Later that night, Steve hung out at Jimmy’s place like he usually does most nights. They sat on Jimmy’s bed, scrolling through his tumblr. They had gotten a call about an hour ago from Dean. He was saying something about a group meeting to discuss a dance battle? Something… Jimmy didn’t really remember cause Steve was biting his ear while he was on the phone. 

 

Just then, they got the call, Jimmy’s computer screen lighting up with the Skype call. He pressed answer. The screen split into separate boxes as everyone joined the call. Dean and Sam sat in one screen. Ezri, Jo, Cas, Kevin, Harry, and Charlie were all in their own screens. 

 

They all greeted each other before Dean began.

 

“Okay everyone,” he said, everyone quieting down. “So earlier today, Cas ran into some of the Rhythm Fusions on his way to work.”

 

Steve, Charlie, Ezri, and Jo gasped. Everyone else’s eyes widened.

 

“Oh my god, are you okay?” asked Charlie.

 

“What happened?” asked Ezri, a hand going to her chest. 

 

“Nothing happened, I’m fine,” Cas said, exasperated with everyone assuming a fight happened. What exactly did they think was going to happen? 

 

Cas resisted the urge to roll his eyes when everyone visibly sighed in relief.

 

“They’re mad that we won yesterday,” said Dean. “And they challenged us to a dance battle.”

 

They all gasped and started talking excitedly all at once. 

 

“Oh dang! We can’t battle them!” said Kevin.

 

“Yeah, they’re, like, the experts with street dance battles!” said Harry.

 

“They’re gonna crush us!”

 

“What do we do?”

 

“We don’t stand a chance!”

 

“Oh yeah! We can take ‘em! Bring it on bitches!!” shouted Charlie, taking off her hoodie and threatening the camera. 

 

“There’s no way we can beat them!”

 

“They’re way too good at battles!”

 

“Okay, everyone calm down!” Dean shouted. They all went quiet. “We need to figure out what we’re going to do.”

 

“We battle!” shouted Charlie. “To not show would be accepting defeat. That’s laaaammmee! That would mean we’re losers and WE ARE NOT LOSERS!”

 

“Right, but they are really good at street battles,” said Sam. 

 

“We’re good too,” said Steve. “Maybe we do stand a chance.”

 

“That’s true,” said Harry. “I think we can pull it off. And like Charlie said, not showing up is really lame.”

 

“Right,” said Dean. “So what do you guys want to do?”

 

There was a general nodding of heads and agreements to do the battle. 

 

“Good. Okay, they told us that the battle will be in the alley between Biggerson’s and the Laser Base.”

 

“The Hinkle Extreme Laser Tag Laser Base?” clarified Harry, who didn’t know the area as well as the others.

 

“Yeah,” said Dean. “And they want us there on Saturday at ten.”

 

“We’ll be there!” Charlie growled, drawing her Renaissance Festival sword from her belt. No one had noticed that she changed. 

 

“Alright, good. I’ll see you all there,” said Dean. 

 

They all said goodbye and then logged off.


	19. Shake it Off Pt 2 (Dance Troop AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Father Parpar

Saturday came without a warning, like a fist coming around the corner and clotheslining someone. That evening, the Team Free Will troop all met up at the alley, ready for the battle. 

*Just then, the song Danger Zone started playing. The troop all turned their heads around to face the entrance of the alley in slow motion. 

Ashley stepped around the corner. She wore spiky hi-tops, ripped leggings, a large, over-the-shoulder shirt with an orange tank-top underneath. Her pink and purple hair whipped around as she rounded the corner, her chin tilted up. Behind her, Paris rounded the corner, her waves of curls billowing around her shoulder. She wore neon pink keds, white tights under a blue mini-skirt, a loose neon pink tank-top with a neon blue sports bra underneath. As they turned the corner, the wind blowing their hair back, Kara stepped up behind them. She wore black boots with too many buckles to count, floral skinny jeans, and a matching tank top with a colorful scarf. 

The steam of one of the pipes blew across their path. 

Coming around the corner behind them, Gacé and Matt joined the group. Gacé wore jeans with a hoodie and a beanie on his head. His luscious hair blew around his face from under the hat. Matt wore grey classy shoes, skinny jeans, a pastel colored 80’s windbreaker, and a t-shirt underneath that changes colors in the sun. But the sun wasn’t out, so it was just white. 

Still walking in slow motion, Kaia and JJ came around the corner to join the group. Kaia wore black jeans covered in patches and studs and a burgundy leather jacket. JJ wore black boots with jeans and a sports jacket with a plaid scarf. Her luxurious red curls blew back as a slow motion breeze hit it. Behind her, Colleen turned the corner, her hair swinging around as she turned her head. She wore black leggings under a large, neon green, zebra print loose shirt. 

Behind her, Madison came around the corner sporting white high tops, purple leggings, an oversized t-shirt, and a fringed scarf. Her blonde hair whipped around her face. 

The whole troop strutted into the alley in slow motion, walking through the steam, the wind in their hair. Their faces fierce. Their eyes determined. Their stride powerful, right into the danger zone.

When the song ended, they finally stopped and stood in front of Team Free Will. Ashley put her hands on her hips and glowered down her nose at them. 

“Let’s start this thing,” she said. 

Gacé set down a big boom box and pressed play. *The song Anaconda poured out of the speakers. Ashley stepped up to the center. A crowd began to gather. 

In the center of the circle, Ashley waited for the beat to drop and she hyped up the crowd. 

Boy toy named Troy, used to live in Detroit

Big dope dealer money, he was gettin’ some coins

Was in shootouts with the law but he live in a palace

Bought me Alexander McQueen, he was keeping me stylish

Ashley broke it down. She threw down some sick moves to blow everyone away. Her moves were so good that Team Free Will was starting to worry. 

“Oh krust!” said Harry. “We ain’t ready for that!”

“Just chill,” said Dean, keeping a cool head. “We got this.”

My anaconda don’t 

My anaconda don’t 

My anaconda don’t want none 

Unless you got buns, hun

Ashley broke down into some freestyle krump and then finished with a bang. She stepped back with her arms spread wide. The crowd cheered. 

Oh, my Gosh, look at her butt

Oh, my Gosh, look at her butt

Oh, my Gosh, look at her butt

(Look at her butt)

Look at, look at, look at

Look at her butt

Steve stepped into the circle, ready to take on the challenge. 

This dude named Michael, used to ride motorcycles

Dick bigger than a tower, I ain’t talking about Eiffel’s

Real country-ass nigga, let me play with his rifle

Pussy put his ass to sleep, now he calling me NyQuil

Steve started dancing, but in the Rhythm Fusions group, Paris and Ashley looked at each other. Jimmy watched from across the circle as Ashley and Paris whispered to each other. Then, Ashley stepped up and stopped the dancing. 

“That’s a routine he’s using!” she said. The crowd gasped. 

“Not only that,” said Paris, stepping into the circle. “It’s our routine!”

The crowd gasped again!

“Steve is disqualified!” yelled the announcer. The crowd oooohhed.

Steve went back to Team Free Will with his head hanging. 

The music started back up.

He can tell I ain’t missing no meals

Come through and fuck him in my automobile

Let him eat it with his grills, and he telling me to chill

And he telling me it’s real, that he love my sex appeal

 

Jimmy K. stepped up to take Steve’s place in the center of the circle. He took the breakdown and threw it all on the floor. The crowd cheered like crazy as Jimmy threw down his sick moves. He tore up that floor like it was nobody’s business. Then, he dropped down into a low plié and twerked. His bouncing butt made the crowd go wild and made Steve’s mouth fall open. 

Yeah, he love this fat ass

Yeah, this one is for my bitches with a fat ass in the fucking club

Jimmy twerked lower and lower until he was on the ground, his flawless twerk never failing.

I said, where my fat ass big bitches in the club?

Fuck the skinny bitches, fuck the skinny bitches in the club

I wanna see all the big fat ass bitches in the motherfucking club

Fuck you if you skinny bitches, what?

The crowd went wild as Jimmy finished out the song, getting up and landing a hot pose. Now it was the Rhythm Fusions turn to look scared. 

“Hot damn…” said Gacé. 

Jimmy went back to his troop. They all congratulated him on his great performance. 

“This isn’t over!” said Kara, stepping into the circle. 

*The song Turn Down for What blasted out of the boom box. 

Fire up that load

Another round of shots…

Turn down for what?

 

Kara broke it down. The music boomed through the alley, louder than the cheers of the crowd. Ezri took the floor after Kara and threw down her sick skillz. Ezri finished and Gacé took his turn. The heavy beat of the music hyped up the crowd. Kevin stepped up after Gacé. After Kevin threw down, Kaia stepping into the circle. Then Sam took his turn, showing everyone what he was made of. JJ took over after him. As she stepped into the ring, she winked at Sam and Sam smiled back at her. Then, Charlie took the floor, eager to show off her skills. Kaia went after Charlie, then Dean stepped up. Paris went after him, majorly showing him up. Jo took the limelight after Paris, redeeming her team. 

But then, it was for the win. The final duel. Cas against the Colleen. That’s right, the one and only Zebra Goddess, Collen. 

Cas’s heart hammered in his chest. He had only heard rumors of the Zebra Goddess before. He had never seen her in real life. 

“You’ll do great,” said Dean, who had put a hand on Cas’s shoulder reassuringly. Cas put his hand over Dean’s, took a deep breath, then stepped into the circle. 

*The song Lose Control blasted through the alley. Cas threw down some of his moves, saving his better material for later. When he finished, Colleen took his place center stage. She unzipped her hoodie and tossed it to the side. Some people in the crowd caught it and started fighting over it. 

I’ve got a cute face, chubby waist, thick legs, in shape

Rump shaking both ways, make you do a double take

The beat dropped and Colleen broke down into some freestyle krump. She stepped back when she finished, and Cas went back in.

Planet Rocka show stopper, Flo froppa head knocker

Beat stalla tail dropper, do my thang motherfuckers

His break dancing and tutting made Team Free Will think that Cas had it in the bag, but Colleen did not look even remotely discouraged. She just stepped into the center of the floor and broke it down once again. 

Ma Rolls Royce, Lamborghini, Blue madina always beaming

Ragtop chrome pipes, Blue lights outta sight

When she finished, Cas went back in. He was ready this time.

Long weave sewed in, say it again sewed it

Make that money tho it in, booty bouncing gonna hit

The music blasted off the walls and Cas unleased his ultimate moves. He had been saving them for this moment. The crowd loved it but Colleen looked unimpressed. Cas finished and stepped back, breathing hard. 

Well my name is Ciara 

For all you fly fellows

No 1 can do it better

She’ll sing on acapella

Boy the music

Makes me lose control

Colleen stepped into the circle. She took one look around, the crowd quieting down for this final moment. Then, she transformed into her true form, the Zebra Goddess! The crowd went wild! Colleen, now as a neon green, stylishly dressed, zebra, threw down some sick moves that blew everyone away! Cas was no match for her. She danced, her long, thin, tongue out and flapping. 

Finally, the song ended and Colleen turned back into her human form. The crowd roared and went crazy! The Rhythm Fusions were announced the winners!! It was amazing, but everyone there that night had done great. 

Team Free Will went home that night, exhausted and discouraged. They had tried so hard, and they actually stood a chance of winning. But there was no way they could have expected Colleen to unleash her true form. 

“Hey, hold up guys!” Steve said. “I’m getting a call.” He opened his old af flip phone and answered. 

“Who is it?” asked Kevin.

“It’s Matt, from the Rhythm Fusions,” he said. “He’s inviting us to the after party.”

“Where is it?” asked Harry.

“It’s at Hamlin Pub,” said Steve.

They went to the Hamlin Pub.


	20. Shake it Off Pt 3 (Dance Troop AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Father Parpar

When Team Free Will arrived at Hamlin Pub, the place was hoppin’. Music boomed and lights flashed through the windows. They walked in and was greeted by the sight of Ashley and Gacé standing on a table, twerking. Gacé was so totally out-twerking Ashley. The Rhythm Fusions all turned and cheered when Team Free Will came in. 

 

“Heeyy! You made it!” said Billy Ray Cyrus, clapping a hand on Steve’s shoulder. The troop looked around the pub and saw a lot of people partying. 

 

“Billy Ray Cyrus! You’re at this party?” said Steve, staring up at him in awe. Billy Ray Cyrus was Steve’s hero. “Billy Ray Cyrus, you’re my hero!”

 

*The song All I Do is Win came on and everyone in da club cheered. 

 

Team Free Will took no time joining the party, and soon, the party was in full swing. Paris had called in some favors from some of her acquaintances and she got a troop of gogo dancers brought in. Hamlin Pub didn’t even know what to do with itself! All those oiled up, mostly naked men dancing around on the bar… 

 

The party kept growing. People hearing word of the rager, coming in to see what the hullabaloo was all about. One could hear the beat of the music two, three…maybe four blocks away. 

 

Lights flashing, music blaring, finally it was the moment everyone had been waiting for: The twerking contest. The spotlights shone on the little stage in the corner where Crowley stood in the light in his finest suit. 

 

“Good evening everyone!” Crowley shouted into the microphone. “It’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for: the Twerking Contest!” 

 

The partiers all cheered like crazy. 

 

“Our first contestant is…Steve!!” The spotlight moved to the other side of the room where Steve was being pushed onto the dance floor by Kirk and Harry. Steve stumbled into the center of the dance floor. *The song Potatoes and Low Asses came on and the crowd cheered. Steve waited for the beat to drop then…

 

 

 

My beat low

 

My bass low

 

I ride low, she go low

 

My beat low 

 

My bass low

 

I ride low, used to tell her what you said bro

 

 

Steve started off with a simple twerk, his butt jiggled and warped with every beat, then after just a tease of his ability he dropped into a full split moving his individual butt cheeks. His butt moved in a glorious manner and almost brought a tear to the DJ’s eye. 

 

 

 

And if I tip a bitch, we fuckin’, ain’t no discussion

 

It cost to be the boss, my nigga you way outta your budget

 

As the lyrics came and went like the waves of Stevens butt, shaking, jiggling, and vibrating. His butt moved in ways that nobody knew was even possible, you could say they couldn’t even… even. As the white girls couldn’t even with their Star Bucks. 

 

Nicki’s rap was about to start and Steve knew it and he had something to shock the crowd. 

 

 

 

I ain’t talkin’ bowlin’ but I’m with the kingpin

 

I pull up with a n-gga with a real big dick

 

 

 

As the rap moved on, Steve was going to perform the head spin split, one of the most difficult moves. Time seamed to slow down, his palms got sweaty and he prepared for the move. He started his prep and got into the head stand, he could feel the sweat run down his back. He moved into the spin and now he finished into the split and did one more twerk to put the cherry on the top. 

 

The crowd went wild! Who knew Steve had that in him?

 

 

 

Oh potatoes, and molasses

 

If you want some, oh just ask us!

 

They’re warm and soft like puppies and socks

 

Filled with crème and candy rocks!

 

 

 

Next up was Matt. He went into the center of the dance floor and started with a smooth hip roll. The roll got lower and lower. The music changed and Matt dropped into a fast twerk. In the audience, Gacé was starting to get all hot and bothered; Matt’s bouncing booty was too much for him to handle. Matt then dropped to the floor in a smooth roll onto his stomach, then twerked on the floor. It was glorious, but that was to be expected from Matt. Cheers went up all throughout the Pub. 

 

He got up and walked back to his friends. 

 

“Give it up for Matt!” shouted Crowley. “Wasn’t that spectacular?” 

 

The crowd screamed their approval. 

 

“Next up is the twerking goddess: Colleen!” Crowley shouted. 

 

Colleen hopped onto the floor and dropped right into her twerk. She wasted no time. Right down to business. 

 

 

 

I’m Lil Bibby, Mr. Everything-For-The-Low

 

Mr. Leave-Her-At-Home-He’ll-Take-Your-Ho

 

Mr. Stack-That-Dough

 

Young rich nigga used to trap by the store, now taxed for the flow

 

 

 

Colleen twerked like it was nobody’s business. When she was done, a few of the gogo dancers took a turn. You could really see the twerking with them, because a lot of them wore assless boxers or thongs. Then Harry went up there. He was okay, but not up to the golden standard Crowley was looking for. Jimmy K went up next. 

 

In other words, you a fraud, nigga

 

I’ll pull your card, nigga 

 

I’m a young boss, I’m runnin shit

 

Call me King Tut, all this gold on, I be blinged up

 

 

 

Jimmy started with a slow motion bounce, his cheeks moving up and down. When time caught up to regular speed, his twerk was fast and jiggly. Someone brought up a folding chair and Jimmy grabbed it and turned it around. He swung a leg up onto the back of the chair and started a slow grind of the hips. Then he went into a fast twerk. A close up on his butt would show the perfect ripples in the bounce.

 

 

 

I get a brick, you know I get it for the, low

 

Her ass so fat, I told her drop it down, low

 

I do a verse, you know my prices ain’t, low

 

Lil’ momma know I like my kisses down

 

 

 

His leg came down and Jimmy hopped up onto the chair. He leaned down, grabbing the back of the chair and bounced his butt in the air. Then, he dropped down and sat. His legs spread apart and then he got up, swung his head around, hit his hands on the floor. His feet went up to rest on the back of the chair and he twerked in the air. When he stood back up, sweat was dripping from his face. Steve slapped his butt when Jimmy joined him at his side. Jimmy slapped Steve’s back. 

 

“Jimmy Kirk, everyone!” yelled Crowley. “Wow! Talk about pro twerking! Our next contestant is a well know twerker of this town. She’s known for her perfect twerking skills and booty bouncing technique. Give it up for… Ashley!!!!!”

 

The crowd roared as Ashley jumped onto the dance floor. 

 

Ashley began with some slow hips rolls and pops. The crowd went wild but this foreplay was just the beginning. She dropped down into a low squat and started twerking. But this was not any ordinary twerk. No, this was a platinum standard, gold medal, world class, Oscar winning, first place trophy, Emmy award earning, ultimate twerk. It was the beast of the jungle. The ruler of the skies. The monster under the waves. 

 

But Ashley didn’t stop there. No, she went to the wall. She put her hands on the floor…and she put her feet up on that wall. And she wall-twerked. She wall-twerked like there was no one else around. Like it was nobody’s business. Like it was 1999.

 

And then, as a grand finale, Colleen, Jimmy, Steve, Matt, all the gogo dancers, even Crowley jumped off the stage, and they all lined up on the wall and they all wall-twerked. One big line of bouncing butts. It was stunning. The partiers went nuts. 

 

The partiers all dispersed across the floor once the contestants were done. Steve stood by himself in the crowd, waiting for Crowley to decide the winner. He felt someone grab his butt and he turned around. 

 

“You did really great up there,” Billy Ray Cyrus growled into Steve’s ear. 

 

Steve was about to reply but Crowley spoke up into the microphone.

 

“Time to announce the winner!” he said. “For third place, we have… Colleen!”

 

The crowd cheered for her.

 

“In second place, for their seductive, sexy routine to go along with their great twerking…..Jimmy K! And in first place, for their perfect, flawless twerking style, give a big round of applause to……Ashley!!!”

 

The crowd was deafening as they cheered for her. 

 

“SPEECH! SPEECH! SPEECH! SPEECH!”

 

Ashley jumped up onto the stage and took the mic from Crowley. “Thank you so much for this opportunity. This is the party of the century! I’d like to thank you all for coming tonight, and I’d like to thank my friends for being so supportive of my twerking, I’d like to thank my parents, and also my agent, my publisher, my editors, and of course you Crowley, for making this all happen. Thank you!”

 

Steve clapped for Ashley and so did Billy Ray Cyrus. 

 

Then Billy Ray Cyrus took Steve to the back of the pub and sat him down in a circle of people. Ebony Darkness Dementia Ravenway was there, and so was Sandra Bullock. Badger, Master Chief, and Barbarella were all there too. They were passing around a crack pipe and Badger had a bag of that blue stuff. 

 

“This is the good shit,” said Master Chief, taking the crack pipe from Sandra Bullock. “The blue Ice.” He lifted the pipe to his helmet and held it to the glass visor for a few seconds before lowering it. He repeated that a few times then passed it on to Billy Ray Cyrus.

 

 

 

Meanwhile, on the dance floor, Sam was slow dancing with JJ. They knew each other from their biology class that they had each other and they kind of had a thing. They danced to the song *Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls. JJ’s head resting on his shoulder and Sam’s arms around her waist. They swayed to the music…. But across the room, Ezri watched them. A surge of jealousy ran through her, which surprised her. What was that all about? She asked herself. She loved Sam, but not in that way, and she certainly never had a problem sharing before. But something about seeing JJ dance with him made Ezri feel uncomfortable. She supposed it was the three beers she had had that were making her think irrationally. But as she watched them sway to the music, she tipped back another beer. 

 

Steve was higher than he had ever been in his life. That blue stuff was the bomb. He barely registered Billy Ray Cyrus taking in hand and leading him outside. The car ride was colorful and wild. They got to Billy Ray Cyrus’s place and went inside, Billy Ray Cyrus leading Steve to his room. The next thing Steve knew was that Billy Ray Cyrus was undressing himself, and then moving to undo the buttons of Steve’s oversized plaid shirt. Then, Steve’s Homestuck t-shirt was coming up over his head. He only realized his pants and boxers were gone after the fact. 

 

When Steve woke up in the morning, he squinted his eyes at the sunlight coming through the blinds. His head was foggy and his arm was numb. He realized that there was a warm weight on top of him. He rubbed his eyes with his other hand and tried to take in the scene. There he was, laying in a king sized bed, on top of silk sheets, with Billy Ray Cyrus laying partway on top of him. What did he do last night? He tried to remember, but his head was swimming still. He must have dozed off, because he woke up again, this time, a little more clear headed. He remember getting higher than a kite, and he and Billy Ray Cyrus had come here……and…Steve’s eyes flew open wide as he remembered the events of last night. The making out and the grinding…and Billy Ray Cyrus fucking him into the sheets. A year ago, this turn of events would have warmed his achey breaky heart right up and all the way down, but now, a surge of panic bubbled up inside of him. Jimmy. What if Jimmy finds out? What if he saw them leave? How will Steve tell him? Jimmy was his everything and the thought of losing him made Steve’s heart ache and break right there in his chest. 

 

A light groan escaped Billy Ray Cyrus’s mouth as he began to stir. He lifted his head and saw Steve. 

 

“Good morning,” he said, his voice gravelly and heavy with sleep. He sat up and looked around. Steve shook out his arm. “Man, what a night, huh?”

 

Steve nodded his head and managed a smile, despite the panic that twisted around in his gut. They both got up and dressed in the clothes that lay scattered all over the room. As Steve pulled his Homestuck shirt on, Billy Ray Cyrus went out of the room to the kitchen. Steve used that time to get ahold of himself. He needed to calm down and figure out what he was going to say to Jimmy.

 

He would tell him the truth…that seemed like Steve’s best bet. But the truth was pretty damn bad! There was no way Jimmy would take him back. Not after this. And the thought of losing him made Steve’s eyes burn with tears. He blinked back those tears when Billy Ray Cyrus called him out for breakfast. 

 

Steve padded out to the kitchen and was greeted with the smell of bacon and coffee. There were two plates on the table. Each plate had two eggs for eyes and bacon for a mouth. But it was kind of lame because the egg yolks were broken and there was only one strip of bacon for the mouth. Steve sat down and started eating, Billy Ray Cyrus across from him. After he finished, he made some excuse of being late for something and left. He walked back to his place, trying not to lose it until he got home. 

 

But when he walked in the door, his stomach dropped to his feet. There, sitting on his couch, flipping through Steve’s Attack of Titan manga, was Jimmy. He looked up when Steve came in and set down the manga. He stood and Steve froze, shaking in his boots. 

 

“Hey Cherry Pie. You wanna tell me why you left the party last night with Billy Ray Cyrus?” he asked casually. Steve’s blood ran cold. 

 

“Jimmy, listen, we were so high, I barely remembered anything this morning. It was a mistake,” Steve rambled, but Jimmy held up a hand. He wasn’t having any of it. 

 

“I’m not having any of it,” he said, turning his head and closing his eyes. “I don’t even know what to think right now. How could you do this to me?”

 

“Jimmy, please, he means nothing to me! I only have feeling s for you!” said Steve, the tears finally falling down his cheeks. “You are the only one I’ll ever love! You mean everything to me!”

 

“How can I believe anything you say anymore?”

 

“Jimmy, don’t leave me! I live for you. Without you, there is no me! Please understand…”

 

But Jimmy understood perfectly well. He didn’t want to hear another word. 

 

“I don’t want to hear another word,” he said, walking to the door. “I hope your happy Steve.”

 

Then Jimmy walked out that door, leaving Steve standing there. 

 

Jimmy drove down the streets all day until it got dark. It started raining. It rained so much that Jimmy wondered if the sky just went through a break up too. It was possible. Finally, Jimmy’s car ran out of gas and he pulled over onto the curb. He got out and stood in the middle of the empty road. The song *I know I’m Not the Only One came on the radio, the music pouring out of his open door. Jimmy let the music play and the rain pour down on him as he fell to his knees and wailed into the heavens. 

 

Steve sat in his apartment listening to the same song on his old af Walkman. He had long since cried out all the tears he could muster. Now he sat and stared at the wall, thinking of all the great times they had…

 

Them making love in Kirk’s quarters….

 

 

“Captain, I need to ask you something, I’m not sure you’re going to like it,” said Steve.

 

“Ask me anything Cherry Pie,” said Kirk……

 

 

 

“Will I see you again?” Steve asked Kirk before he beamed them down. 

 

“Of course. I put a communicator in your pocket earlier. Just call me whenever you want, cherry pie,” said Kirk with a wink……

 

 

 

Them making even more love on the Enterprise…..

 

 

 

A single tear ran down Steve’s face.


	21. Shake it Off Pt 4 (Dance Troop AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Father Parpar

Sam was ironing the wall bearskin. It was looking deflated so he took it down to iron it. Someone knocked on the door and Sam set down the iron. He imagined it would be someone looking for Dean, he had a lot of friends. He went to the door and said, “Dean isn’t here right now! He’s at his boyfriends place!”

 

“Sam, it’s me,” said a familiar voice form the other side. 

 

Sam peeked through the peephole and saw copper hair and grey eyes. 

 

“Hey Ezri,”  
he said, pulling the door open. Ezri stepped inside. 

 

“What’s up Sam?” she asked. She peered around the corner and saw the bear pelt laying over the ironing board. 

 

“I was just ironing that pelt. It looked a little deflated so I…ironed it…”

 

“Cool,” she said nodding. “Some party last night, huh?” 

 

“Yeah, I think I’m still a little bit hung over,” Sam said with a laugh.

 

“Haha, yeah me too!” Ezri laughed. “So, I saw you and JJ at the party. Are you guys a thing or…?”

 

“Um, well not officially. We’re kind of on and off, ya know,” Sam said with a shrug. 

 

“Oh, yeah…” Ezri nodded. Even after Sam’s reassurance, Ezri still felt unsettled about the whole thing. She knew she shouldn’t, but she couldn’t help it. 

 

“Actually, though, I was thinking about making it official…I think we could benefit from joining Team Free Will with the Rhythm Fusions,” said Sam. 

 

“Oh…” Ezri’s chest fell and she looked away. What’s wrong with me? She thought. I shouldn’t be acting like this. She tried to say something but decided it would be best if she just left. She didn’t want to say anything rash. So she left, her heart pounding in her ears. When she got to her car, she sat, trying to regulate her breathing. 

 

“C’mon Ezri.” She said to herself. “This isn’t you. Sam isn’t yours, you’re his. That’s it. You aren’t supposed to be like this with him…”

 

But no matter what she told herself, it didn’t change the fact that Sam was going to ask JJ out officially, and Ezri wasn’t happy about it. 

 

She swallowed the lump in her throat and drove away. They had rehearsal the next day and she needed to get ready for that. 

 

Steve woke up the next morning to the sound of his phone ringing. His eyes were krusty and swollen and red from crying. He found his phone on the floor next to the couch he had fallen asleep on. He flipped it open and pulled up the antenna. 

 

“Hello?” he rasped out. 

 

“Hey Steve,” said Charlie. She sounded way too cheerful this early in the morning. “Just making sure you remembered we have rehearsal later.”

 

“Yeah, I know,” he said, rubbing a hand down his face. But he was still wearing his glasses and he smeared them with his greasy fingers. 

 

“Okay. Also, I heard about what happened with you and Jimmy…” she said, her voice becoming sympathetic. 

 

“Did he tell you?”

 

“Yeah…But I wanna hear what happened from you. If that’s okay. You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” she said. 

 

“Not over the phone.”

 

“Okay, I’ll come over,” she said. “Be over in five”

 

“Kay, bye,” said Steve.

 

“Bye.”

 

She hung up and Steve pushed the antenna down and shut his phone. Five minutes later, Charlie knocked on the door. Steve got up and answered it. Charlie came in holding a big cardboard box with a label on the side that said The Happy Box. She set it down by the couch and opened it. 

 

“Okay, so I brought my box cause I figured you’d need right now,” she said. Inside the box, there was several chocolate bars and dove chocolate. There was also the entire DVD collection of Doctor Sexy MD and a few Disney movies. There was also a few tubs of ice cream stuffed in there. 

 

Steve and Charlie sat and watched movies all day while Steve cried and told Charlie all about what happened. By the time four o’clock came around, they had eaten everything in the box and they were on season three of Doctor Sexy. They sat, laughing and throwing popcorn at the screen, when Steve’s phone rang. He found his gray Motorola DynacTAC laying on the floor. He answered. 

 

“Hey Steve.” It was Sam. 

 

“Hey Sam,” said Steve. 

 

“Are you with Charlie?”

 

“Yeah, we’re watching movies,” he said. 

 

“Oh, well, are you guys coming to rehearsal today? It’s almost five,” said Sam.

 

“Wait what? It is?” he looked at the clock on the wall and, sure enough, it was almost five. “Oh, shit! Yeah, we’ll be there.”

 

He hung up and set his phone down. “Charlie, it’s almost time for rehearsal!”

 

“Oh krust!” she exclaimed when she looked at the clock. She turned off the movie and they both hurriedly got dressed and headed out. 

 

They were practicing their routines and everything was going great. Steve and Jimmy were avoiding each other and Ezri was avoiding Sam but other than that, all was well…..

 

Until the door of the studio burst open. The song *Kashmir by Led Zeppelin blasted throughout the studio. Crowley strode into the studio in slow motion. He wore a black coat that flapped behind him. His face was fierce. Behind him, Abaddon entered, sporting a black Led Zeppelin tank top, skinny jeans, and black high heels. Her red hair billowed behind her and around her face. Her lips were bright red. Alistair came in, black boots, really skinny jeans, black leather jacket, a sneer on his face. Then Lilith came in, her head held high. She wore a cute white dress with a bow in the front. Her blonde hair blew back as she entered. Meg came in, her short blonde hair was styled. She wore a red leather jacket. Ruby came in behind Meg, her long blonde hair blew back in the wind. Behind her, Azazel came in. He wore an ugly polo and his eyes flashed yellow in the light. 

 

They all stopped and stood in powerful poses, the wind still blowing through their hair. Team Free Will all stared in awe. Finally, Abaddon stepped up and spoke. 

 

“You all must be Team Free Will,” she said. 

 

Dean stepped up and said, “So what if we are?”

 

“So, we’re your new enemy. The Heat Seekers. So we just wanted to let you know to watch your backs. Because we’re coming after you. All of you. You better watch yourself.” She pointed a perfectly manicured red finger at them. 

 

“Well, you better… watch…yourself…” Dean fumbled out. These people were pretty intimidating. Abaddon’s red lips curled into a smile and she stepped back. 

 

“Now we’re in town for the competition,” said Crowley. He stepped up. “And we’re going to win the competition. Right? Right. Now that we’ve covered that, we’re going to challenge you guys to a dance battle. And we will obviously win, but we do this with every troop we come across. So, after we win the competition, we’re gonna meet under the big bridge and have a dance battle. And we’ll win that too, but that’s beside the point. Whatd’ya say?”

 

Dean opened his mouth to reply but no words came out. Luckily, Charlie stepped up. 

 

“You’re on!” she said. “We’ll be there. And you better believe that you fools don’t stand a chance. Not one single chance. Cause we’re the best there is and you guys are nothing!”

 

“Hey! Why don’t you say that to my face!” yelled Ruby. 

 

“Ruby! Calm down,” said Crowley. 

 

“Alright, fine. We look forward to seeing you then,” said Abaddon. “Till next time.”

 

They left, Kashmir picking back up as they walked out of the studio, their fabulous hairs billowing. The song finished as they all walked out and the doors closed behind them. 

 

“Oh man,” said Kevin. “Those guys were hardcore.”

 

“Seriously badass,” Harry agreed, nodding. 

 

They continued practicing. 

 

 

 

The day of the competition came sooner than expected. It crept around the corner and punched everyone in the stomach. The auditorium was filled to the brim with families, friends, and talent scouts. This was it, the final competition of this story. 

 

First to go on stage was the Rhythm Fusions. They had a group routine that started the show off great. Steve watched the dances go by one by one on the screen backstage. The Rhythm Fusions were really good. Team Free Will had a few group dances and then The Heat Seekers went up. They were amazing. Steve watched their performances with an open mouth. But all too soon, it came time for the final dance, Steve’s duet…with Jimmy. 

 

They went onstage and took their positions. The *song Stay With Me, by Sam Smith, began to play and they began their dance. Steve moved with the music and Jimmy moved around him gracefully. They faced each other and their eyes caught. Jimmy and Steve locked their eyes as they kept moving and something passed between them…something powerful. Jimmy realized that Steve was his true love and nothing could stand in their way. Not even some silly fight. Little did he know, Steve was thinking the same thing. They finished their dance and stood side by side, breathing hard. The audience applauded and then they left the stage. When they got back stage, Team Free Will and the Rhythm Fusions were all there and they all congratulated Steve and Jimmy on their amazing performance. When they left them and Steve and Jimmy were finally alone, they faced each other. 

 

“Steve, I just wanted to say,” Jimmy began, wringing his hands and looking down at his feet. “I don’t know what really happened between you and Billy Ray Cyrus, but I want you to know that I have always loved you and I always will. No matter what happens. You mean everything to me, but if you want to be with Billy Ray Cyrus, then I won’t stop you. God knows I’ve had my fair share of cheating and one night stands in the past. I just want you to be happy.”

 

“Jimmy, the only person I could ever be happy with is you,” said Steve, tears threatening to spill over in his eyes. 

 

“Oh, Cherry Pie!”

 

“Oh, Jimmy!”

 

The two lovers fell into each other’s embrace, finally. Steve’s tears finally fell and he let out a sob of relief. Nothing would ever tear them apart ever again, they knew this. Because they were made for each other, and that was that. 

 

The performances came to an end and all the performers waited in anticipation to be called onto the stage for the awards. Team Free Will, The Rhythm Fusions, and The Heat Seekers all waited back stage. The announcement was announced and they all went on stage and lined up. The announcer, Joshua, introduced the three troops to the audience. Then he began the awards. Steve and Jimmy’s hands entwined as Joshua droned on about the awards. 

 

The first awards that were given was for the individual dances. The Rhythm Fusions won a few, Team Free Will won a few, and The Heat Seekers won a bunch. 

 

“And finally, for Platinum, the duet, Stay With Me. Jimmy Kirk and Steve Proudfoot!” Joshua announced. The audience applauded and stood. Jimmy and Kirk walked to the front, hand in hand and accepted their medals. The crowd’s cheers went silent as Jimmy and Steve looked at each other. Everything around them faded away into a pink and blue blur as the *song Stay With Me began to play and the only thing they saw was each other. 

 

By the end of the awards, The Heat Seekers had one overall first place Platinum. And then later, all three troops met up under the bridge. The concrete was still damp from the rain storm and the sound of traffic was muffled from above. Graffiti painted the big concrete pillars. Steve’s phone rang and he pulled it out to answer. It was a rotary phone that he had to keep in his backpack. 

 

“Hello?” Steve answered. 

 

“Steve!” it Billy Ray Cyrus. “Listen babe, I know you and Jimmy K are together, I just wanted to call and say I really had a good time that night. And I heard that you have a dance battle today, so why don’t you call afterwards and let me know how it went?”

 

“Sure thing, Billy Ray Cyrus,” said Steve, feeling great that everything was in place. Then they hung up. 

 

The Heat Seekers rolled up in a big black Hummer and opened all the doors and windows. Team Free Will did the same with the Impala. They all met in the middle. 

 

“Alright, fellas!” said Abaddon, who was fabulously dressed with her shiny black stilettos, her red lips curled up in a wide smile. “You all ready to lose again? Who’s first?”

 

“Actually,” said Dean, stepping up to the front with Ashley by his side. “We decided to team up.”

 

“And we’re going to win this time,” said Ashley, who was lookin’ fierce. 

 

“Fair enough,” said Crowley. “We’ll still win either way, so it doesn’t matter.”

 

Crowley snapped his fingers and music blasted from the Hummer’s sick sound system. *The Immigrant Song, by Led Zeppelin, poured out of the speakers. The Heat Seekers began a routine, breaking down into some sick moves. They were perfectly synchronized in their unorthodox movements and they moved across the pavement in tandem with their erratic dancing. Then, each one of them taking a solo, each one better than the last. When they finally finished with the song, The Rhythm Fusions and Team Free Will all looked at each other. The Heat Seekers were good, but they had a few tricks of their own up their sleeves. 

 

Dean snapped his fingers and the *the song Shake It Off, by Taylor Swift, began to play from the Impala’s speakers. Both troops stepped up and began their routine. They had been practicing in secret and they came up with the best routine ever. Their moves were so good that The Heat Seekers started to look a little worried. They all took their turns with duos. Dean and Cas performed their duo perfectly, then Steve and Jimmy did theirs. Sam and Ezri had their own routine, and after them, Ashley and Paris stepped up and did their performance. Matt and Colleen had a duo also. Colleen blew away the Heat Seekers by transforming into her natural form, the Green Zebra Goddess. Then, everyone had a solo, and The Heat Seekers looked absolutely wrecked! Because that’s what Team Free Will and The Rhythm Fusions do with haters. They shake it off! 

 

The song ended and the Heat Seekers stood there with their mouths agape. It was obvious who had won that day and Team Free Will and The Rhythm Fusions both went off to party together one last time in celebration. 

 

Steve pulled his phone out of his backpack, a candlestick phone, and dialed up Billy Ray Cyrus. He lifted the receiver and put it up to his ear and held the mouth piece to his mouth. 

 

“Hey babe!” answered Billy Ray Cyrus. 

 

“We won the battle!”

 

“I knew you guys could do it!” said Billy Ray Cyrus. “Congratulations Steve. I’ll miss you.”

 

And as they all drove off into the sunset, reveling in their victory and leaving the Heat Seekers in the dust, the sunset opened up and swallowed them all down…into the next world…


	22. Ana’s Revenge (50 Shades of Grey AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Stephanie is female!Steve, Deana is female!Dean, Sammy is female!Sam, Cassidy is female!Cas, Harriet is female!Harry, Kevine is female!Kevin
> 
> Warning: sex, violence
> 
> By: Professor Ashlex

It was a dull, rainy day in Seattle; Christian was pulling on a grey sweatshirt with the hood pulled over his eyes. He walked down to the first floor of his home and began his morning run. As he ran he saw women gawk at his well-maintained physique and chiseled features. He hated the attention; he hated the shallow women who threw themselves at him, but most of all he hated the secret that he kept from the world. He knew that it would take the right person to understand the broken fucked up side of him. He rounded the corner of 5th and main and slowed to a walk, he passed his doorman with a nod and a good morning and ascended up the elevator. Christian cleaned himself up, showered, shaved, and dressed. But he just couldn’t get the final touches right, he stared into his drawer at his many ties, each a different shade of gray. 

“Oh, none of these are right!” he exclaimed. He slammed the drawer shut and as he turned around he saw a little grey bag at the end of his bed. A smile creped across his face “Ana, you always get it right” He pulled out the note and opened it.

Christian,

I noticed you were feeling a little blue. I hope this shade of grey cheers you up. Feel free to use it later tonight ;) 

Ana

Christian unraveled the tie and put it on, he thought about how understanding she was about the dark side of him and he loved her for that. At least he thought he did. He had been doing a lot of thinking about his relationship with Ana, and maybe this was the day he finally did what he was supposed to do. He walked down stairs out the door, where his driver was waiting for him with an umbrella. 

“To the office Tom.” he ordered as he got into the car. “Yes sir.” Christian opened his phone to his contacts and dialed Ana’s number. He knew what he had to do and he knew it wouldn’t be easy. 

“Hey Ana,” there was a moment of silence before he said those four words “we need to talk.”

Across town a groggy, hung over college student crawled out of bed into the sunlight. 

“Good morning Sunshine!” Stephanie said with gusto. She was always an eager person. First up, first done with assignments, first with everything, well not everything.

“Shhhh. No talking, just quiet.” 

Ashley on the other hand was the partier. Where Stephanie lacked in these firsts Ashley beat her to it years ago. To put it nicely, or not so nicely, she was a bit of a whore. 

“Okay, you baby. Want some eggs or something?” asked Stephanie.

“No, I don’t think I could hold that down.” said Ashley.

“Well, you need something. Here, take this.” Stephanie poured a glass of water and got out some Tylenol. Ashley gulped it down practically gagging on it. “I am never doing tequila shots on an empty stomach again.”

“Sure you won’t.” Steph said laughing. “I’ll see you later. I’m starting my new job today, can’t be late! What do you think of my outfit?” 

Ashley looked her up and down trying to hide her disgust behind a smile. “It’s great, for a nun.” 

“This is the only gray I own. I’d ask if you wanted to go shopping but I know you’ll try and turn me into some sexratary.” Stephanie said looking over her glasses. “You bitch. You know me so well.” Ashley said smiling.

“Try to eat something. Toilet is in the bathroom!” Stephanie said opening the door.

“Good luck. Try not to fuck the boss on the first day,” Ashley yelled after her. “But with that outfit you have no chance,” she whispered to herself with a smile and a pat on the back.

Stephanie ignored the comment; nothing could bring her down today. She drove through the city marveling at the buildings and imagining the beautiful people who worked in them. She pulled up to the curb and dug through her purse for some change. “I hope I have enough in here. Maybe there is a parking garage somewhere close I can park in tomorrow.” Stephanie was nervous but she couldn’t let anyone know. Especially since she was working for the infamous C.J. Grey. She got into the elevator and pushed the button for the top floor. 

“Hold that door!” someone yelled. 

In a fluster she hit the close button. Just as the doors were about to clasp shut, a hand slipped through. 

“I am so sorry,” Stephanie could feel her face getting hot and changing to a bright red “It’s my first day and I’m super nervous and when I get nervous I babble and say stupid things. I’m just going to stop talking.” The man who walked in was beautiful which made her more nervous. He stared at her with hooded grey eyes and a wicked grin. She felt that she knew him, like they were together in another time, or universe even. The elevator started to play *Familiar Love by William Shatner. How weird. Butterflies filled her stomach and her hands began to sweat, head spinning. Stephanie started to bite her lip not knowing what she was doing. She could see him gazing at her through his dark stare. 

“No need to apologize.” He said with a light playful smile. “The first day is always the worst. I remember my first day.” He said it in a calming way, like everything was going to be okay. 

“So you work here too”? Stephanie asked in relief.

“Yes. And don’t worry, everything is going to be fine.” 

That made her feel better.

“So how do you like it here? I heard that Mr. Grey is kind of a dick.” Said Stephanie.

“Have you now. Well I guess you’ll have to find that out for yourself.” The elevator dinged as it stopped at the top floor. The doors opened to a big white lobby, with stone counters and windows that went from ceiling to floor. The windows displayed a beautiful view of the Seattle skyline. Stephanie looked down and realized that she didn’t fit in this place. A beautiful blonde woman appeared in a gray dress with a matching gray blazer. Her legs went on for miles and her face was so beautiful. Ten times prettier than she was, or ever would be. “Good morning Mr. Grey.” she said as he exited the elevator. 

Time froze and Stephanie stood in the elevator door, eyes wide and mouth to the floor. She was going to be fired on her first day, she just knew it. 

“Why don’t you stop by my office at lunch and we can talk about how your first day is going. Shannon will help you from here.” And he disappeared into his office. 

Lunchtime came and Stephanie stood outside of Mr. Grey’s office. Heart racing, palms sweating, and room spinning. She opened the door slowly just poking her head around the corner and cleared her throat to make her presence know. “Mr. Grey,” she said, mouth dry. “You wanted to see me”? She stood there frozen, half scared and half mesmerized at his beauty.

“Ah yes, Stephanie right?” He asked. 

“Y-yes,” Stephanie could barely keep herself together. Her nerves were starting to get the best of her. 

“Don’t be nervous, I just want to know how your day is going. Making sure everything is running smoothly for you.” Mr. Grey was so majestic, his hair was perfectly curled and his eyes were grey like the ocean after a storm, they were so dark and mysterious. He had this perfect crooked smile that made his check bones even more promenade than she remembered this morning. She didn’t know for sure but under his suit she could only imagine the heaving chest and chiseled abs that lay underneath. Thinking about it made her tingle, she had never thought this way about a man before. She began to blush, Grey saw this and grinned. “I hope I’m not being too much of a dick.” He wasn’t even mad. How can he be more perfect?

“Oh no Mr. Grey, you… I… I am so sorry for this morning. I had no idea who you were which doesn’t excuse my comment either.” Stephanie was having a hard time composing herself; she had never been in this situation. He sat behind the desk with his hands folded together. He was becoming more and more intimidating by the minute; Stephanie couldn’t handle his piercing stare. He was staring deep into her soul like he was trying to find something inside her. 

“I want to take you out to dinner,” he stood up to make himself appear much taller “tomorrow night 8 o’clock. What do you say?” Christian was closer to her now, sitting on the edge of the desk tapping his fingers on the bottom of it. 

“Ummm, s-sure. Tomorrow at eight sounds fine.” Stephanie was having a hard time breathing, she could barely get the words out. 

“Good, it’s a date. Or business meeting if you prefer.” Christian said with a smirk.

“Yeah, ummm a date might not be appropriate, business meeting it is,” she could feel her body begin to quiver and her cheeks began to flush. “I should get back to work. Good day Mr. Grey.” Stephanie shot up and hurried herself from his office hitting her shoulder on the door on her way out. 

Stephanie walked up the stairs to her apartment “Hey I’m home. How are you feeling?” There was silence in the house “Ashley?” She turned to corner to find Ashley sitting on the couch zoned out like she was thinking hard about something. “HEY!” Stephanie shouted throwing a pillow at Ashley’s head. 

“Holy shit!” Ashley jumped off the couch. “Don’t scare me like that. Why are you so smiley?” 

“What do you mean? It’s nothing. I had a good day at work, that’s all.” Stephanie couldn’t help but blush remembering her day, standing in the elevator, sitting in his office. He sounded so confident but she couldn’t help thinking there was something inside him, something dark. 

“Well I’ve never had a day at work make me blush before. What ever, don’t tell me, I have a date tonight anyway.” Said Ashley sassily.

“Well I have one tomorrow night,” Stephanie walked passed Ashley and stopped right before she got to her bedroom “with my boss.” And slammed the door shut behind her. 

The next night Stephanie got ready, with a little help from Ashley. “Alright, and the final touch. Here put this on.” Ashley handed her a bright red lipstick to put on. 

“Are you sure this won’t make me look like a clown?” Stephanie laughed.

“Do I ever look like a clown?” Ashley asked, “Don’t answer that. There, you’re perfect. Go have fun!” 

“Thank you. I hope I don’t embarrass myself. Here goes nothing I guess.” Stephanie leaped to the door not turning back.

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” Ashley shouted after her

“You would do everything.” Stephanie yelled back shutting the door behind her

“That’s true, I would.” Ashley said proud of herself.

Stephanie walked down stairs to find a silver 2016 Ford Mustang waiting for her. “What is all this?”

“This is your ride. Is it too much?” Christian asked bashfully 

“No, I just didn’t think you would show up in this.”

Stephanie stood with her arms wrapped around her, gaping at the car in front of her.

“Please,” Christian said gesturing to the open passenger door. Stephanie got in nervously and buckled her seat belt. “Ready?” Christian asked closing his door. Stephanie nodded and off they went. 

They arrived at The Pink Door, this place looked so fancy; there was no way she was going to fit in at a place like this. Christian walked around the car and opened her door and offered his hand. “Thank you.” Stephanie placed her hand on Christian’s and time stopped. She looked deep into his eyes, finding kindness, love, and darkness. There was a secret deep inside his heart and soul. Something he had been hiding for so long from his friends and family. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but when she touched him she knew there was something. A spark that intrigued her, she wanted to know more about him, but she felt too afraid to ask. 

“You okay?” Christian said pulling her in closer. 

“Yeah. I just, ummm, I don’t, uhhh.” Stephanie couldn’t get the words out. Her mind went blank. “Let’s go in.”

“Okay. Come on then beautiful.” Christian said giving his keys to the valet and led her into the restaurant. They skirted right past the hostess and sat down at a reserved table. 

“Welcome back Mr. Grey, can I start you two out with something to drink. Maybe a Chardonnay or a Merlot?”

“A brandy for me, Remy Martin, neat. And a…”

“Cosmo for me, Crystal head, lemon slice. Thank you” Stephanie gave him her best ‘don’t mess with me’ look. Stephanie was more confident than she had ever been, just wait until she gets some alcohol in her. Christian looked at her with a look telling her that he would punish her later, only she didn’t know that. “So, what do you go to school for?”

“I’m majoring in English Lit.” Stephanie said trying to avoid eye contact. 

“And what made you join my company?” Christian said taking a sip of his drink glaring at me over his cup. 

“Well Mr. Grey, I thought it would be a good opportunity to learn how things work in the corporate world. I want to do more with my life than teach bratty teenagers.”

“I see. And what about other things in your life, tell me what you like, what makes you tick.” Stephanie knew what he was asking, but didn’t know how to answer. “I don’t know. Books mostly, and taking care of my wreck of a roommate. I don’t really do much besides that and school.” Stephanie looked at him sheepishly as if he was digging for something more. “Now Stephanie, I know there’s more to you than that. The first time I saw you, I knew there was something inside you that you don’t know yourself.” He looked at her with his piercing grey eyes and an inviting crooked smile. She wanted him; she could feel her insides tingle like they did when she met him in his office. Her face began to heat up with embarrassment and arousal. She didn’t know how to control herself. She had to change the subject. “So, Mr. Grey…” 

“Please, call me Jimmy.” Stephanie looked confused. 

“I feel a strong connection with you Stephanie and I want to be close to you,” Christian looked at her pained. “I don’t want anything to happen to you, I feel very… protective of you.” He took out a manila envelope and slid it across the table. “I want you to look over this with an open mind and get back to me.” 

“What is this? I don’t understand.” Stephanie began to open the envelope until Jimmy put his hand over hers to gesture not to open it here. “I suggest you open that in private.” He motioned for the check.

Jimmy pulled up to the corner and parked the car. “Please, read this with an open mind,” he said grabbing her hand “my e-mail is in the papers. Don’t hesitate if you have any questions.” Stephanie walked up the stairs to her apartment opened the door and sunk to the floor remembering her intense night. Just then Ashley walked around the corner. “What’s wrong with you?” she asked chewing on beef jerky. “You look like you just had a date I would have. OH MY GOSH! Did you have a fun night! Wait. It’s 11pm. NOPE!” Ashley said sitting next to Stephanie offering her some jerky. 

“No thanks. It was just an intense night.” Stephanie sat there trying to collect herself before realizing that Ashley also had a date. “Why are you home so early?” Stephanie asked confused and bewildered.

“Oh, he was a creep. He was not fo’ me!” Ashley said laughing. 

“Well, first off, what was he like?” Ashley asked curiously.

“He was handsome, sure of himself, polite, intense. He was very straight- forward about what he wanted.” Stephanie said looking at Ashley. Ashley knew something was up. She had that protective mother goose look in her eyes. Stephanie looked really frightened over something, but she wasn’t sure what. “What’s up girl, talk to me.” 

“He just wants to be with me. He said he feels a strong connection with me. I don’t know what to do or how to feel.” She put her hands on her stomach where the butterflies had been all night. 

“Well you know you are smoking hot, right? And you’re fun and interesting. You got that sexy nerd thing going on.” Ashley said with a smile putting her arm around Stephanie. “What’s that?” Ashley said pointing to the envelope. 

“Oh this, it’s just some stuff for work. Jim.. Christ… Mr. Grey gave it to me at dinner.” Stephanie said flustered. She wasn’t even sure what was in the folder. But Ashley had a feeling she knew what was in the folder. 

“I have to go. I have class in the morning. Good luck with your problem.” And Ashley disappeared into her room. 

“Class in the morning? That doesn’t sound like her.” Stephanie went to the kitchen and got a glass of water before turning in for the night. 

She lay in bed trying to sleep, tossing and turning. She couldn’t get her mind off what was in that envelope. Stephanie sat up and turned on her side table lamp. Rubbing her eyes to get used to the light, and turned her head to the desk where she put the envelope. She pulled out the papers to read what was there. It was a contract that read

Rules for the Dominant and Submissive

1\. The submissive will eat to maintain her strength.

2\. The submissive will do exactly the dominant says without hesitation.

3\. The submissive will not drink to excess

4\. The dominant will give the submissive a clothing budget and clothing that the dominant sees fit

5\. The submissive will exercise one hour four days a week with a personal trainer of the dominant and the submissive choosing. 

Page 12.

Article one:

Toys

1\. Ring gags

2\. Ball gags

3\. Genital clamp

Page 20

Article fifteen

Hand stuff

1\. Anal fisting

2\. Vaginal fisting

3\. Nipple pinching

4\. Slapping

Page 25

Article twenty 

Tying and other restraints

1\. Rope

2\. Cable ties

3\. Collars

4\. Hand cuffs

Stephanie stared at the packet confused and scared. “What was this!? A contract to be some sex slave?” Stephanie looked it over 2, 3, maybe 4 times, each time finding something new that she was concerned about. She shoved it back into the envelope threw it on the desk and went to bed hoping not to run into her boss in the morning.


	23. Ana’s Revenge Pt 2 (50 Shades of Grey AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: contains some intense smut!!! nsfw, read at your own risk
> 
> By: Professor Ashlex

The next day she woke, got dressed and went to work. The drive was so long and daunting. She couldn’t help thinking about the previous night. “How am I supposed to be this girl for him? Give up my freewill, and let him hurt me! I’ve never even had sex before!” Stephanie made the long walk to the building, almost getting hit by a biker on the way there. “Maybe I can avoid him. I’m pretty good at avoiding people.” She waited for the elevator and wouldn’t you know, Christian Grey came up from behind.

“Good morning, Stephanie.” He whispered in her ear in a seductive tone. Stephanie could feel her knees turn to jelly and her muscles clench. She was biting her lip and through her eyelashes she could see him gazing at her. “Please stop biting your lip, it’s very distracting.” He says looking at her with those domineering eyes. She could feel that he wanted her. But she couldn’t understand why, she was nothing special. 

“Mr. Grey,” she said bashfully, “I need to talk to you about… this.” Stephanie pointed to the envelope with her eyes before meeting his. 

“And what about?” He asked, nervous. The elevator arrived and they stepped in. Stephanie was thankful it was just the two of them. “I just love elevators,” he said giving her a crooked smile and a seductive look, “don’t you?” Stephanie couldn’t take it anymore. She could feel herself become wet, and every muscle aching with want. She needed him. NOW! “Mr. Grey!” “Please, call me Jimmy.” He said pulling her in, his thumb brushing against her bottom lip. She hadn’t noticed she was biting it. He pulled her hair so she was stuck looking up at him. He leans down, his lips brushing against hers. “Oh” I moaned. No stop this!! Just come right out and say it. “I’m still a… VIRGIN!” Stephanie yelled. Christian pulled away looking almost startled. Shocked even, “What!? You’ve never had sex before?” He turned away running his hands through his perfectly messy hair.

“No, never.” Stephanie say bashfully. 

“Well,” he looked at her with a bright smile and flashing eyes. “We may just have to call in sick today.”

“What?” The elevator stops to let someone in, Christian took her hand and pulled her out of the elevator. They flew down the emergency stairs to the parking garage under the building. “Where was this my first day.” Stephanie grumbled under her breath. He opened the door to a bright red 2016 mustang, and practically pushed her in the seat before gracefully sliding into his. He grabbed her hand and kissed her knuckles, and the feelings she had in the elevator came rushing back. Her thighs closed tighter and tighter together, Christian saw this and smiled down at her. Stephanie felt something was wrong, but she didn’t dare question it. She felt so safe with him. He touched her knee and a spark went through her, and she knew they had been together in another time. Just then she realized that he could be taking her to a field to kill her. “Where are you taking me?” She shouted confused. 

“I have to rectify the situation.” He says glaring at her with his hooded gray eyes. 

“What do you mean!? I’m a situation!” she yelled mortified. He just stared at her with a grin that spoke a million words, only, she wouldn’t know until later.

“Yes. I just gave you a contract blatantly stating what my deepest secret is. I have to make this right.” His hand moved from her knee to the steering wheel. They pull into a garage and he dragged her out of the car. He moved so gracefully. They got into an elevator with mirrors for walls. Stephanie could see him go on forever, and she never wanted to look away. He noticed her staring and grabbed her chin with his thumb and forefinger and pulled it up. She could feel him staring into her soul. “What are you thinking about?” he said so kind and soft, 

“I don’t know right now.” (Okay. We all know what she is thinking. She wants to be fucked into next week. And yes I will be using that line again!) The elevator lands at the top floor, talk about being saved by the bell. Stephanie steps out into a spacious room. The walls are white and there are windows from floor to ceiling giving a great view of Seattle. It looks so beautiful like a giant painting. The couches are a deep brown leather with matching side tables. Stephanie is pulled into Jimmy’s strong sturdy arms. “Are you ready cherry pie?” 

Stephanie flushes scarlet at the words. “Yes” Her breath hitches and she becomes a puddle of feelings. Jimmy can’t help but notice this and he growls in her ear. “Let’s begin then.” In a matter of seconds they are upstairs in a bedroom. The walls are a dark blue and everything in it has the same hue. “Would you like me to close the curtains?” He says smirking because they are on the TOP F’ING FLOOR!

“If you want to, Mr. Grey,” Stephanie says in her most seductive voice she could muster. In one swift motion, Jimmy closes the curtains and glides to her. Her stomach is in her throat. She doesn’t know what to do or what to think.

“Come here.” He commands. Stephanie does as she’s told. “Lift your arms up and turn around.” Without thinking, Stephanie fulfills his wish, and just like that her shirt is off and on the floor. Jimmy puts his arms around her and pulls her close. She can feel he’s taken his shirt off, and she’s pressed against his sturdy oiled body. His hands spread out on her stomach, kneading and caressing. They slowly make their way up the sides of her torso making her tingle. He stops his fingers on the sides of her breasts.

“Oh Christian…” She moans.

“Please, call me Jimmy.” He hisses through his teeth, and his fingers move over the top of her bra teasing her nipples.

“Jimmy!” She shouts. She can feel herself becoming more and more willing to do anything for this man. Her lust for him becoming more, love maybe. She didn’t know. She had never been in love before. His hands still exploring her body, his erection becoming harder and harder, pressing on her making her quiver.

“Oh Stephanie, you are so beautiful.” Jimmy turns her around and unhooks her bra and she’s naked on top. Jimmy’s breath stops and he looks at her in awe. Like he was remembering something from the past. His eyes go from sex driven and hungry to loving and protective. He takes a step closer to her closing the gap unbuttoning his pants in the process. Stephanie’s eyes widen as she takes in the view, his erection is barely held back by his zipper and he catches her gaze. 

“Like what you see”? He asks in a sexy low growl. Stephanie nods, her mouth slightly open, words lost on her. “Come.” He says holding out his hand and leading her to the bed. With a light push she falls to the bed, the silky comforter cocooning around her. Jimmy swiftly removes her skirt and panties all in one, and she lies there naked and vulnerable, in the dark hands of Christian Grey. He stares down at her with smoldering eyes and a wicked grin. Stephanie is writhing on the bed, waiting for his gentle touch. She lets out a soft moan and Jimmy’s eyes light up at the sound. 

“I haven’t even touched you yet,” he smirks “let’s just see how loud we can make that noise.” It’s then when he begins the real assault, his lips on hers and his tongue invading her mouth. She welcomes it, reciprocating the action. Stephanie raises her arms to grab his face, but Jimmy takes both her wrists and pins them above her head. His other hand is making its way down her body staring at her face. His knuckles gently glide down her cheek along her jaw line to her neck, going lower and lower until he finds her breasts. He puts his index finger and thumb around her nipple and squeezes. “Ah!” She moans and a smile crosses his lips. Moving his head down to her other breast, he drags his tongue along the side of it making her arch off the bed. “Oh my god.” She whispers to herself as he moves his torture down her body, running his fingertips down the middle of her stomach just stopping above her genitalia.

“Do you want this?” Jimmy asked with concern in his voice.

“Yes” Stephanie breathed. She wanted this more than anything, all she wanted was to be with this man and please him. Jimmy looked down at her and grinned. He slowly moved his hand down to her clitoris and rubbed it in a circular motion. “Ah!” Stephanie yelled as he pleasured her body, unknowingly she wrapped her arms around Jimmy’s neck to pull him closer but was pushed down by his free hand. 

“Be still,” he ordered “or I will punish you.” Before she could think about what he said, Jimmy slipped one finger inside her, hard. The other hand was at one breast, tantalizing her nipple and his mouth at the other, sucking and biting. Stephanie didn’t know what to think or what to do. All the sensations were so new to her. He circled his finger inside of her faster and faster, pulled at her nipples and was kissing every inch of her. She yelped as he inserted a second finger and without thinking threw her arms around him. Jimmy stopped his pleasant torture on her and she looked up at him only to see him staring back at her with a mischievous smile. Stephanie knew that she had just made a mistake. Jimmy crawled closer to her with two fingers extended and placing them on her lips. 

“Suck!” he ordered. Stephanie’s eyes widen and his order affects her in a way she never thought possible. She wanted to please this man any way she could. She parted her lips and began to suck on his strong fingers. “Harder!” Stephanie did as she was told and sucked. She was so aroused that she didn’t even realize how loud she was getting. “That’s right baby! I wanna hear you come, Cherry Pie!” Jimmy yelled, removing his fingers he grabbed Stephanie by the hand and pulled her into his arms. “Let’s kill two birds with one stone tonight.” He whispered in her ear, scooping her up and taking her to his playroom. Which, by the way, does not have his Xbox. That’s in a whole different part of the house because his apartment is the size of fucking Egypt with 600 different rooms. The rich bastard!

Jimmy opened the door and led her into the room. The lights were dim giving the walls a blood red look. The room smelled as if it were freshly cleaned, which gave Stephanie chills all the way up her spine. When her eyes adjusted she could finally see what was in the room. There were all kinds of whips and chains, torture devices of all kinds, some she could identify and others she would rather not ask. Her face was pale and her knees were weak, out of the corner of her eye she could see Jimmy staring at her with intense burning eyes. 

“What do you think?” Jimmy asked almost looking nervous, but you would never know. Stephanie didn’t answer, she started to walk around the room scared. Does he want to hurt me, is this how he makes love? Stephanie was nervous of what he might ask her to do. 

“That’s a flogger.” 

Startled, Stephanie jumped up. She was caught up in her thoughts that she didn’t realize she was just staring at a rack of the floggers. There were so many of them, different shapes and sizes. The black leather one, with gold studs was the one that caught Stephanie’s eye. What could this possibly be used for? 

“So where do you want to begin?” Stephanie asked in her most seductive voice she could muster up. Looking at Jimmy she knew that she would do anything to make him happy. Jimmy held out his hand and guided her to a four poster bed. “Turn around and don’t look. Do you understand?” He ordered, his voice stern and commanding. Stephanie shook her head in agreement only to have her head pulled back by her hair. “I said, do you understand?” Jimmy said with a harsh tone. “Yes.” Stephanie managed to gasp out. “Good.” Jimmy smacked her ass and walked away. 

Stephanie stood there as she was told not knowing what was going to happen. The smack that had taken place earlier made her buttocks feel warm, and a little worthless. She didn’t know if she had liked it or was completely embarrassed by it. One thing was for sure, she was aroused by this man and would take him anyway he wanted. She could hear him return, and he threw a pile of things on the bed. Stephanie could feel her insides tighten and her arousal went through the roof. Jimmy turned her around but before she could look into his eyes his mouth was on hers claiming her as his own. She could feel his erection on her stomach and she pulled away to find his penis still trapped by its denim prison. She fell to her knees and began to tug at the button only to be pulled right back up and trapped in Jimmy’s intense stare. “Oh no baby,” Jimmy said grinning. “not yet.”

Before Stephanie knew what was happening, her feet were off the floor and her back was slammed into the bed. This bed was not as plush and welcoming as the one in his room, but this room was not the place for making love. This was a place for sweaty, hard, fucking. Jimmy put his mouth on Stephanie, placing kisses on her lips down to her neck running all the way down to her stomach. His hands roamed all over her body before settling at her nipples. He rolled her nipples in between his index finger and thumb while his mouth explored her vagina. His tongue swirling around and around Stephanie’s clitoris making her yell out in pleasure. Jimmy removed one hand from her breast sliding it down her body, making her tremble, and inserting one finger into her wet opening. Stephanie arched her body off the bed and squirmed to get away. “Don’t Move!” Jimmy hissed between his teeth before slamming her back down on the bed with his hand on her neck. “The more you move, the more pressure I’ll apply. Understand?” Stephanie didn’t know what to do, but before she could answer his hand began to squeeze harder. “Understand!?” he yelled. Stephanie’s eyes widened and she nodded her head in agreement. Jimmy smiled a wicked grin and began his torture on her again. Licking her clitoris and slowly stroking the front wall of her vagina. Hitting her sweet spot over and over making her moan. Jimmy liked this and was starting to get carried away. Before Stephanie knew it, there were two, three, maybe four fingers inside her. It was only two, but she was a virgin so she didn’t know what she was thinking. The song *Crazy in love by Beyoncé started to play. Oddly enough it was the Fifty Shades of Grey version.

Jimmy could feel Stephanie’s legs stiffen and her insides quiver and he knew she was close, he decided a little tease would be fun so he stopped what he was doing and stood up in front of her. He looked at her with a certain joy. A joy only a dominant could understand. The joy knowing that the prey in front of him, squirming for more, was his and his alone. He started to slowly unbutton his pants never taking his eyes off of hers. “Is this what you want?” Jimmy asked in a condescending tone. Stephanie looked at him with wanting eyes, nodding with her mouth open licking her lips. Jimmy smiled and let his pants fall to the floor. He was wearing silky red boxers making his erection look glorious. He crawled onto the bed next to Stephanie, grabbed a bottle lying on the bed and stood back up. “Rub this on my thighs.” Jimmy said quietly handing Stephanie the bottle. She poured some on her hands rubbed them together and began massaging the oil into his strong, sturdy thighs. Stephanie couldn’t help staring at his glorious junk as she knelt before him. This made her feel dirty, worthless, but so good at the same time. She wanted to please this man any way he saw fit. 

After Stephanie finished Jimmy removed his boxers as a reward and told her to suck, and she did. She sucked his dick with everything she had. She shielded her teeth with her lips and pushed him in and out of her as fast as she could. Her hands slid up and down his thighs, to his rear, and back before putting one hand around his shaft and the other lightly massaging his testicles. Jimmy bucked his hips in rhythm with her, tangling his hands in her hair. Jimmy could feel his release was about to come, pun intended, and begged her to stop. But she wanted to please him, she sucked harder and harder, thrusting him in and out faster and faster until he cried out. Stephanie could feel her mouth fill with his love juice, he was warm and sweet. Removing her mouth she swallowed and looked up at him with innocent eyes. “That deserves a reward, Cherry pie.” Jimmy said smiling down at her. 

Just then he swooped down and lifted Stephanie over his shoulder smacking her ass. “What are you doing!?” Stephanie yelled, giggling and a little nervous. “You’ll see baby. Well… maybe.” Stephanie could tell he was smiling by the tone of his voice. He stopped in front of a wooden bench and placed her on top of it. “Stay here.” Jimmy walked back over to the bed and collected the contents. Stephanie couldn’t help stare at his beautiful behind and sturdy oiled thighs. 

Oiled thighs… those oiled thighs. Why did she know those thighs. And then it hit her like a ton of bricks. This wasn’t her universe. This wasn’t even her body! She knew she had to do what ever she was asked to, to get him to realize that this wasn’t their universe. 

When Jimmy returned he could tell something was bothering her but dismissed it. “Do you trust me?” Jimmy asked. “Of course I trust you, Jimmy.” The words hit Jimmy like his favorite song. He then proceeded to tie Stephanie’s wrists to her ankles, making sure she couldn’t straighten her legs or move. He then placed her on her back and fastened leather restraints across her chest and stomach. “Good. Now you can’t move.” Jimmy said with a wolfish grin. “Just the way I like it.” From the other end of the table he produced a ball. “Open your mouth.” He ordered. Stephanie opened as wide as she could and he placed the ball in her mouth. “I think you’ve seen enough.” Stephanie’s eyes widened in fear as he placed a silky grey blindfold over her eyes. She didn’t know what to think other than ‘I have to do this to get out of here.’ “Now your my little bitch. I can do what ever I want to you and you can’t stop me.” He picked up the black flogger with gold studs and ran it through his hands. “I can do this,” smack right across her breasts “and this,” smack another across her stomach “and this!” his voice was getting more and more harsh smack across her behind where it meets the vagina. All Stephanie could let out were small whimpers of pleasure. She didn’t know why she was so scared in the first place. This was great. 

Liking the sights and sounds of this beautiful woman before him, he picked up a vibrating butt plug turned it on, and ran it down her body. Slowly he tortured her, inserting two fingers inside her and placing the vibrating plug on both her nipples. Stroking the front wall of her vagina he moved down her body just stopping above her clitoris. Stephanie was trying to find release from the torture but couldn’t move. She whimpered hoping he would know that she wanted more. Kissing her neck he whispered in her ear “I love you Stev… Stephanie.” He placed the plug on her clitoris, circling it around before moving further south and inserting it into her buttocks. Still rubbing her sweet spot and now circling her clitoris with his thumb he kept the sensations coming, sucking on one nipple and rolling the other one between his fingers.

Stephanie knew that she wouldn’t be able to hold on much longer but she couldn’t voice this. She tried her hardest not to but she failed and came loudly around his fingers. Jimmy took off her blindfold holding his hand so she could see. Staring her in the eyes he licked his fingers, lightly sucking. “You taste so sweet. Here,” he held his hand out in front of her mouth removing the ball “you try.” He said sticking his fingers deep into her mouth. She sucked on her sweet juices, moaning from deep in her throat. “Let’s finish this together.” Jimmy said in a seductive tone. 

Undoing the restraints and untying her wrists he picked her up, cradling her against his chest. Wrapping her arms around him, she took in his smell and the feel of his warm chest. He held her close and tight, smelling her hair. He gently placed her on the bed and kissed her deeply and passionately. Pulling out a condom, he rolled it down his erection. He crawled in between Stephanie’s knees, looked her in the eyes and held her hands on either sides of her head. 

“Ready?” he asked softly and lovingly. 

“Yes” Stephanie whispered in anticipation. Jimmy moved the tip of his penis to the opening of her love cave, kissed her one more time and slid into her. “Ah!” Stephanie yelled out. It was painful, but not as bad as she thought it was going to be. 

“Are you okay?” Jimmy asked concerned. 

“Yes.” Stephanie answered with a smile. “Please keep going.”

Jimmy nodded and began to make sweet, sweet love to his true love, his soul mate. They held each other tight and matched rhythm. They began to build and build until they came together, falling into each others arms. 

“I love you so much Stephanie.” Jimmy said staring into her eyes thanking his lucky stars that she was with him, again. 

“I love you too Jimmy.” Stephanie said with a smile, and placing small sweet kisses on his jaw line. Carrying Stephanie back to his room, he placed her on the bed and curled up next to her. They soon fell into a blissful slumber, dreaming of the night they had just had.


	24. Ana’s Revenge Pt 3 (50 Shades of Grey AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: the smut is over, the violence has begun
> 
> By: Professor Ashlex

The next day came, and to everyone’s surprise, it was sunny. The sun came through the window, shining into Stephanie’s eyes waking her. She rolled over only to find a missing Mr. Grey. She sat up and stretched her arms out yawning loudly. Stumbling out of bed she found a white button down shirt. She put it on only buttoning the two middle buttons and threw her hair up in a messy bun. 

Jimmy was sitting at the breakfast bar reading the paper and drinking a cup of coffee. She took a minute to take in this beautiful sight. She wanted to remember this moment of bliss. Remembering everything that had happened the past couple of days. She couldn’t believe that she was already in love with this man. Finally returning to reality, Stephanie took the seat next to him putting her hand on his leg. 

“Good morning.” He said giving her a swift kiss and a smile. “How did you sleep?” 

“I slept very well. I think that’s the best I’ve ever slept.” She said with a big grin on her face. 

“Good. You hungry?” Jimmy asked

“Very.” Stephanie said putting her hands on her stomach.

Jimmy set her a place and put pancakes, bacon, and eggs in front of her. “Anything to drink?”

“Milk will be just fine.” Stephanie said pouring mountain dew on her pancakes. The two chatted through breakfast and while cleaning up. They had so much in common and they grew even more in love with each other. It was like falling in love all over again. They were in their own bubble until they had to bring up the contract again.

“You don’t have to sign if you don’t want to.” Jimmy said nervously.

“No. I do.” Stephanie said putting the pen on the dotted line. 

“Oh wait!” Jimmy said pulling the contract away. “There is something you must know. On the last page, the final clause. You have to fight my former submissives before signing.” Jimmy stared at her, his heart pounding in his chest, and sweat staring to form on his hands and forehead. Stephanie sat back in her chair confused, and a little put back. Fight off is past submissives? Like what, keep them away? I could do that. I want this man to be happy, and if this will make him happy I’ll do it. 

“Okay. I’ll do it.” Stephanie said as confidently as possible.

Jimmy’s face went from scared to relived in .02 seconds. “Great. Here’s what you’ll need.” Jimmy pulled out a bag from under his desk and slid it over to Stephanie. Confused, Stephanie opened it and examined the contents inside. Nun chucks, throwing knives, ninja stars, hammers, brass knuckles, clubs, bats. What was all this? “What is this!?” Stephanie yelled.

“These are weapons to help you fight off my exes.” Jimmy said matter-of-factly. 

“Do you expect me to kill these women!?” Stephanie could feel all the blood rush from her face. Her heart pounded in her ears, she couldn’t bear to hear the answer. 

“Yes. That’s the only way we can be together.” Jimmy said looking down at his fingers. Stephanie thought about this decision, going over the pros and cons. If she did this she could be with her one true love, her soulmate. But she would also be killing a lot of people. Well, the pros win.

“I’ll do it.” Stephanie said standing proud, even though she was about to kill people. Jimmy looked at her like she was the greatest gift anyone could receive. 

Cue training montage *Eye of the Tiger by Survivor begins to play. 

 

5 Days Later

Jimmy and Stephanie arrived at an abandoned ship yard at exactly dusk, 6:43pm to be exact. They parked the car next to half a brick wall and just stared at each other. Stephanie could feel her heart in her ears and her stomach in her butt. “Are you okay?” Jimmy asked 

“Yeah. I guess so. I’m just not looking forward to murdering, how many women would it be?” Stephanie asked not wanting to know the answer. Partly because she didn’t want to know how many people he had been with, and partly because the less she had to kill, the better. But mostly because she didn’t want to know how many people he had been with. That slut! Jimmy looked down to think for a moment. Oh crap. If you have to think then it must be a lot. “Seven.” Jimmy said, looking ashamed of himself. Good, you should be, you slut!

Without another word, Stephanie got out of the car and rounded the corner. She stood there alone until she heard *Rumble in the Night by Mike Minor. She turned her head to see a group of beautiful women walking towards her, but she knew she could take them. The two leading the gang were Deana and Sammy. Deana had short brown fluffy hair, tight dark wash skinny jeans a black tank top and a black leather jacket. Sammy had long flowing golden locks, ripped jeans and a purple dog shirt showing off her perfect body. Together, they were a force to be reckoned with. Behind them was Harriett, she had shoulder length black hair, round black glasses and a scar in the shape of a lightning bolt on her forehead. She has been known to dabble in witchcraft. Then there was Cassidy, with her long wavy hair, piercing eyes, and her angel wing tattoo, you just knew she was trouble. Kevine, well she was a little homely, probably French or something. Not too much there. And…what the hell? 

“Ashley?” Stephanie asked in bewilderment. 

“It was two weeks freshman year highschool. I didn’t know this was gonna happen.” Ashley said with a shrug. And that’s when she came out. The one who started this whole thing. Ana. His most recent submissive. 

“Hello Stephanie,” she said making her way to the front of the group. “How are you doing with fifty shades of fucked up? Has he made you believe he loves you and then tossed you aside like 3 day old garbage.” Anna said smirking and a little hurt. 

“It’s different with us. We are soulmates. We were meant to be together.” Stephanie said, standing her ground. 

“Oh, we’ll just see about that. Ladies, attack.” Ana disappeared behind the group and *Sweet dreams by Emily Browning started to play. Kevine came flying at her with fists flying but Stephanie dodged her, time slowing down just enough for Stephanie to grab out a ninja star effortlessly. She threw it perfectly and it landed in between two vertebrate in Kevine’s neck causing her to collapse to the ground. Stephanie whipped her head around to see Deana and Sammy charging at her with a crowbar and a bat. Just steps away Sammy swung her crowbar at Stephanie with great force, but she rolled out of the way grabbing her nun chucks and brass knuckles with the crowbar just hitting her shoulder ripping her shirt and drawing a little blood. Deana took this shot with Stephanie on the ground and swung at her feet but to her surprise Stephanie jumped into the air punching Deana with all her force, digging the brass knuckles into Deana’s perfectly shaped jaw, breaking it and busting out some teeth in the process. Landing in a lunge, Stephanie examined the two sisters anticipating what they might do next. They both looked at each other as if reading the others mind before charging at Stephanie. Moving quickly, she back flipped and spun her nun chucks around her so fast that they looked like two birds flying around her. As the sisters got closer Stephanie hurled her chucks out decapitating the two causing them to fall to their knees. 

Stephanie stared Ana down, licking the blood of the chains before dropping them to the ground and running after her next victim. She was done playing around. Stephanie bent over to pick up the club and bat with the rest of the ninja stars. Slinging the club and bat across her back she began to chuck the ninja stars at Cassidy. To Stephanie’s surprise, she had fantastic reflexes. It was almost like she was floating to dodge the stars. Stephanie got face to face with her and they began a fist to cuffs. Punching, kicking, slapping, pulling hair, but then Stephanie remembered, “wait, I can do jiu jitsu.” Stephanie went ape shit on Cassidy, with the kicks to the face and the punches to the stomach. Cassidy fell to the ground, blood oozing from her swollen face, clutching her stomach. She begged Stephanie to show her mercy but that was not in the cards today. Stephanie jumped in the air spinning around with one leg bent for momentum and the other stretched out to kick with. When Stephanie made it the full 360, she made direct contact with Cassidy’s face making her skull split open and her brains spill to the floor. 

Stephanie landed with one knee on the ground hunched over to catch her breath, but Harriett had other plans. Stephanie was attacked from behind. Harriett tackled her to the ground, one arm around her neck chocking her and the other pulling her hair back. Stephanie writhed under Harriett trying to gasp for air. God damn it Harriett was strong. Stephanie flailed her arms in hopes of coming in contact with one of the weapons across her back. Finally Stephanie kicked back and struck Harriett in the shin causing her to loosen her grip so Stephanie could grab her bat. Staring deep into Harriett’s eyes she raised the bat above her head and smashed it down leaving an indent so big the bat lodged itself into her skull. 

Wiping the blood off her lips, Stephanie turned around only to be met face to face with Ashley. In her hands were the throwing knives from the pile and a devious smile on her face. “Run.” Ashley whispered before raising a knife in her mouth and licking the tip of the blade. Stephanie’s eyes widened and she booked it back to the pile of weapons, but no matter how fast she ran Ashley was a good aim and stuck a knife right in her leg causing Stephanie to fall to the ground. Clutching her leg she pulled out the knife, and let it drop to the ground. 

“Well well well. You thought you could get away with this didn’t you? I’m sorry I have to be the one to do this but, wait a second, no I’m not. I’m honored to be the one to kill you.” Ashley spun a knife around her fingers and straddled Stephanie. “Now, just how am I going to do this?” Ashley gracefully dropped into a perfect split over top Stephanie, pinning her down with the knife to her neck. Stephanie punched Ashley in the face breaking her nose, pissing Ashley off more, she lifted her leg and held Stephanie’s hand to the ground. “You know. You always thought you were all that. But you know what? You’re just an obnoxious asshole who sits on her high horse, dishing out judgement but not taking it. I can’t wait to dig this knife through your heart, and I’ll do it with a smile on my face and glee in my heart.”

“I thought we were friends?” Stephanie yelled panicked, hoping it would hit home with Ashley

“Friends. I was never friends with you. I was just being nice to you. I would never be friends with the likes of you.” Ashley snapped as she raised up the knife smiling. Stephanie closed her eyes waiting for her demise. “Goodbye Steph…Ah!” Ashley was hurled 10 feet into the air and stopped by the brick wall. “What the hell?” When her eyes focused she could see Jimmy coming towards her with the knife she had up to Stephanie’s throat. “Oh fuck.” And those were Ashley’s last words. Jimmy took the knife and slit Ashley’s throat making her blood waterfall out of her. 

Stephanie ran to meet Jimmy and they embraced each other, holding each other so tight, nothing could separate them. 

“Are you okay?” Jimmy asked holding Stephanie’s face in his hands. 

“Yes. I’m fine.” Stephanie said taking a deep breath to steady her nerves. “I’m a little shaken, but that’s understandable.” 

“Well. You’re not done yet Cherry Pie.” They turned around to see Ana standing across from them. Her brown wavy hair blowing in the wind, and her eyes dark with anger. “Let’s see if you have what it takes to beat me.” Ana came hurdling after them, but was stopped by a gun shot to the stomach. 

Pan to Jimmy and Stephanie

Looking down the barrel of a gun, smoke is billowing out. Holding the gun is none other than… Shia Labeouf. “Just DOOOO IT! Don’t let your dreams be dreams. Yesterday you said tomorrow, so just DOOO IT! Make your dreams come true!” Shia said in a motivational tone. 

“Thanks Shia. You really helped me to succeed and be with my one true love.” Stephanie said cuddling close to Jimmy’s chest that was drenched in sweat. 

“No problem guys. I was just passing through and heard all the commotion. Well bye now.” And just like that Shia flew off into the night sky. 

“I love you Cherry Pie. I love you with everything I am. I never want to lose you.” Jimmy said with a tear in his eye. 

“I love you too Jimmy. You are my everything. My one true love.” Stephanie said leaning in for a kiss. As their lips met, fireworks started to shoot off and *You make my dreams come true by Hall & Oates began to play. As the fireworks went on they watched with wonder. The blues and reds and greens lighting up the night sky, the sparks dancing back down to the ground. It was finally time for the big finale. The sky lit up with the brightest fireworks and the loudest booms. The very last fireworks were shot into the sky but when they exploded, they began to swirl and swirl until the sky was a whorl pool of colors. Kirk and Steve looked at each other with big grins on their faces. “Ready?” Asked Kirk. 

“With you, I’m always ready.” And just like that, they were lifted into the air, through the portal to their next universe.


	25. Ramsay on a Rampage (Hell’s Kitchen AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By:Mozy

“Fold in the egg whites. What the hell does that even mean?!” Dean whispered to Sam, not wanting Ramsay to hear him. 

“Go from underneath and bend one ingredient over the other.”

Dean smirked at his brother. “Oh Sammy, I like it when you talk dirty.” 

“Damn it, Dean! We gotta get this done or that crazy bastard is gonna start throwing stuff again. I’ll never get the caramel out of my hair from that last bowl he flung.”

“I’ll bet we can find someone to suck that out for you.”

Gordon Ramsay heard whispering from across the room and when he swung his head in Sam and Dean’s direction there was an actual atmospheric pressure change in the room. 

“One minute to go in this challenge and I don’t see a plate from you two jack-offs yet. But you sweethearts have time to whisper to each other?!”

Cas and Bobby, paired for the two-course challenge, had their bourbon pecan chicken with sweet potato mash compote already plated and presented. They were firing up the blowtorch to caramelize the sugar over their custard flan. They could see Dean getting ready to retort, and Gordon getting redder from across the room so they just looked over at the Winchester brothers and shook their heads, “no”. Jo and Ellen noticed it too and tried to distract Ramsay.

“Chef? Can you…”

“Piss off, girls. No way a woman is winning this challenge anyway. Don’t you have a tampon to change or something?”

Dean turned to Sam again. “Seriously, Sam, I think this guy may be a demon.” 

“Maybe. Or just a dick. Maybe both, but definitely a dick.” 

Ruby tore open her chefs jacket and threw it right over the stove, where it started smoking immediately.

“Hey Ramsay, go fuck yourself sideways. We’re out of here.” She grabbed Andy and yanked him out of his jacket also, and threw it on the flames that had now erupted from the stove. 

“Yea. What she said.” Andy followed Ruby out the kitchen door. When they got outside Andy walked up to a car by the curb and told the driver to get out, which he did. He and Ruby got in. “Take off your clothes, Ruby.”

Ruby gave Andy a look so searing it could melt glass. “That shit doesn’t work on me, you dumb ass. But, uh, why didn’t you use that power on Ramsay to win our challenge? Moron.”

Back inside Hell’s Kitchen Steve and Kirk were hiding in the cooler, hoping it would just all go away.

“What are we gonna do, Jimmy? I don’t have a clue what to do in a kitchen, except how to open a fridge door.”

“Well, Cherry Pie, where I come from I just tell the wall what I want to eat and it gives it to me.”

Steve paced the cooler with his head down. “It’s my fault. You’re from the future, but I’m from now. I should know more. I’m sorry, Jimmy, but I think we’re gonna lose this challenge.”

“Think? Yea, well, I’m not concerned about losing, I’m concerned about that sonofabitch beating our ass and I’m James T. Fuckin’ Captain Kirk and this motherfucker scares ME. Protecting myself is one thing, but I gotta keep my Cherry Turnover safe and intact too.” He punctuated with wink and a peck to the tip of Steve’s nose.

 

Kevin and Harry worked in silence like a well-oiled machine the entire time. When Ramsay’s buzzer went off they stood proudly next to their lamb chops with balsamic reduction and crab and asiago stuffed mushrooms. Ramsay nearly pissed himself when he took a mouthful. 

“For the rest of you monkeys, this is how it’s done. These two have produced a work of art and the rest of you look like you’ve been flinging your own shit at the tourists on the other side of the glass. And what happened to the surfer and his overdramatic control freak partner? Off having a circle jerk somewhere?

Sam leaned into Dean. “Where did Steve and Kirk go? I don’t feel like accidentally walking in on them. Again.”

“Who cares? I just wanna get out of here and get a beer. Maybe sweet-talk that prick Ramsay until he’s charmed into making us some fancy dinner. I’m guessing he can be convinced. I think he’s a closet anyway. Too much overcompensation. What d’ya think?”

“I think I’m not that hungry.”

“Come to think of it me neither. I wanna drink my dinner and fall into bed. Speaking of which, do we need to find Steve and Kirk before be blow this joint?”

“Why? Where do we need to be that includes them?”

“AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHGH!” Ramsay’s gutteral noise was accompanied by a crash of splintering ceramic and a rainstorm of greasy cream sauce. He turned his wrath directly on Sam and Dean.

“What the fuck is wrong with you two? Do you share a brain and a nutsack? This chicken is pinker than your assholes! Do you know what you do with undercooked chicken?!! You KILL someone with it! That’s what.” He walked over the mess, crunching it under his shoes and kicking it at all the contestants. 

“I ought to make you sweep it up and eat it yourselves, glass and all.”

“Oh, this motherfuc…”

Sam pulled Dean back. “Don’t. It’s not worth it.”

Just then the cooler door swung open, creating a vortex of swirling cold air in the kitchen.

“What the hell is going on out here…” 

Kirk barely got the words out and they were mostly lost on the wind as the vortex swept them away…


	26. One Wet, Hot Night (Spaghetti AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Luci

Sam woke up, more confused than he had ever been, and he woke up without a soul once.

All Sam could see was a slivery mesh of a vent in a perfect circle. It was like he was looking through a tube. He attempted to sit up, which was when he realized he couldn’t feel his arms. In fact, he didn’t have any arms at all. Sam rolled over, trying to understand his situation better. However, Sam was more confused than ever now.

He was lying in a pot of noodles. Dean, Cas, Harry, Kevin, Steve, and Kirk were all there too, and they were all noodles. Sam wasn’t even sure how he knew it was his friends lying in the pot with him, but he was sure it was them.

“Dean,” he said, flapping his noodle body and hitting Dean. “Wake up.”

“What! Can’t a guy sleep?”

“You might want to see what’s going on.”

Dean snapped his eyes open and looked around at their situation. “Huh,” was all he could get out.

“We should probably wake everyone else up,” Sam suggested.

“Yeah, probably.”

The brothers jerked around in the pot, trying to wake all their friends. They succeeded, but they were still unsure of what to do.

After a few minutes of confusion, Cas spoke up. “We should probably find that portal, then.”

“Yeah, alright, let me just noodle my way to the portal,” said Dean.

“Well, when you put it like that…”

“MAAAAATT!” came a booming voice from outside the pot.

“What the hell is that?” Dean asked.

“WHAT?” came another voice from outside.

“DINNER!”

“WHAT ARE WE HAVING?”

“WHAT?”

“I SAID WHAT ARE WE HAVING?!”

“SPAGHETTI! I MADE IT JUST FOR YOU!”

Footsteps as loud as thunder approached the pot. The noodle pals inside yelled out, trying to grab onto anything to stop the earthquake-like effects of the footsteps and realizing they didn’t actually have hands to grab onto anything.

A giant face appeared, looking down onto the noodles. The face had short, brown hair and black rimmed glasses.

“That must be Matt!” Harry said.

“Matt” looked at the noodles with a disapproving glare. “Really mom, spaghetti?”

“Mom” answered, “I made it just for you!”

“How’s the sauce?”

“Light and meatless, just how you like it.”

Matt nodded, then his head went out of view.

“Sauce?” Kevin asked, panicked. “We’ll drown!”

“Maybe it won’t be too bad?” Harry said, unsure. “I mean she did say ‘light.’”

Suddenly, from above, they could see a hand holding a small pot. The hand tipped the contents of the pot, which happened to be the sauce, onto the noodles. They raised their voices in protest, but their god was a merciless one. Her hand reappeared, this time holding a wooden spoon.

“Son of a bitch!” Dean yelled as she started to stir the sauce and noodles around.

They were all thrown every which way, having no control over their bodies. They were as limp as, well, noodles. They were tossed about violently. Occasionally, they would hear the screams of one of their friends, but as soon as they thought they had found them, they would be gone.

Then, just as quickly as it begun, it was over. The spoon was withdrawn from the pot. The noodles all yelled out to each other, attempting to regroup.

“Dean?”

“Sammy!”

“Cherry Pie?”

“Cas, is that you?”

“Kevin?”

“No, it’s Kirk.”

“Dean!”

And so it went on and on, until they were able to noodle their way back to each other. Then, they crawled to the top of the pot, wanting to see what was going on. After a minute or two of waiting, the hand returned holding a spaghetti spoon that looked much too like a claw for their liking.

They were all scooped up and placed into a bowl.

“Wait, where’s Steve?” Kirk called out.

Everyone looked around, realizing Steve had not been scooped up with the rest of them. They started to panic, calling out to Steve, hoping against all odds he was somewhere buried in the bowl.

The clawed spoon returned, carrying more noodles. They noticed Steve, who was hanging off the edge of the spoon, looking much more dead than alive.

“Steve!” Kirk called out, slithering his way over to his noodle lover.

“I’m alright,” Steve whispered. “I managed to get on just in time.”

They all lay together in the bowl, covered in sauce, waiting to see when their next trial would ensue.

It wasn’t long before the boy returned. He looked down at the spaghetti and licked his lips. Kevin let out a gasp of fear.

Matt picked up the bowl and started walking, presumably to the table. Inside the bowl, the noodles were jumbled around. They cried out in pain, praying the monstrous boy would hear their pleas and let them go. Their cries were futile.

Once they were put down, they let of sighs of relief. But their struggles had only just begun.

Matt picked up his fork, ready to eat the spaghetti that was made “just for him.”

“Oh, hell no!” yelled Dean. “We are not being eaten! Noodles, scatter!”

The seven of them slid out of the way of the fork, avoiding Matt with ease.

“Mom, I think there’s something wrong with this spaghetti,” Matt said, still attempting to get even a bite of his food.

“What do you mean?” his mom asked. “I made it just for you!”

“No that’s not the problem. I can’t seem to get a hold of any of these noodles.”

“Damn right you can’t!” yelled Kirk.

“What, do you want her to feed you?” came another voice, presumably female.

“No, I can feed myself. Watch,” Matt said. Now with a point to prove, Matt tried even harder to get a bite. Eventually, he got a forkful of noodles that, luckily, contained none of the men. “See?” he said, eating the noodles.

A sarcastic clapping was heard. “Well done,” said the female voice.

“Stop that Veronica,” said Mom.

Matt ignored them, still trying desperately to get some spaghetti. He had had a bite now, and he was itching for another.

“Keep moving!” Dean yelled out, determined to keep all of his friends alive.

“Wait, Dean!” Cas called out, having noticed something peculiar.

“What?”

“I know where the portal is! Everyone stop moving!”

They stopped, looking to Cas.

“Watch as he takes another bite.”

Matt got a second forkful and opened his mouth to eat it.

“See it!” yelled Cas. “It’s in his mouth! To escape, we need to get eaten!”

“Are you sure?” Harry asked, not entirely convinced.

“Yes just trust me!”

They all looked at each other before coming to a silent conclusion: they needed to get eaten.

Matt placed his fork in the bowl, ready for another battle with his food. What he was met with, however, was quite the opposite.

“Everybody jump on!” Cas yelled.

There was a mad dash to the fork. All seven of them managed to slither over to the fork just as Matt started to raise it to his mouth. There was a scary moment where Sam almost fell back into the bowl, but Dean somehow managed to wrap his noodle body around his brother’s, holding him fast.

They were inches from Matt’s mouth now.

“Here we go!” Dean yelled before being sealed inside the boy’s mouth, chewed, and swallowed into another world.


	27. Mean Boys (Mean Girls AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Professor Ashlex

“Do you have your lunch? Do you remember your phone number? I wrote it down just in case,” said my mom, Colleen.

“He’s going to be fine Colleen, he’s a big boy. Now I put some milk money in your lunch, you can ask one of the big kids where to get it,” my dad, Matt, said with a smile and a reassuring nod. “Okay Cas, you ready?”

“Yeah, I think so,” I said standing up. I was ready to take on the world until my mom pulled me in for a hug. She was crying uncontrollably as my dad tried to take the “first day of school” picture. Which is normal when you’re five. I’m 16. See, I was homeschooled for my whole life, and Africa was my class room. My parents were there studying the mating habits of lions, until my mom got tenure at Michigan State and it was goodbye Africa and hello public school. 

“Bye sweetie, have a good day!” shouted mom still crying. 

“Be careful, we love you!” said dad, waving over enthusiastically. It was so weird leaving my parents to go to school. They were always my teachers, my friends, my disciple… 

*Whoosh* “Oh my god!” Holy cow! That was a bus! I almost got hit by a BUS! I turned around to see my parents staring at me with frightened expressions. “I’m okay.” I yelled back with a smile, reassuring them that I would be more careful. 

I crossed the street to the high school, only to be devoured by the Holt Central student body. Everybody was so rude, pushing and shoving to get through. Why would anyone want to go to public school? This was all so confusing. Why were all my classes in different classrooms, this is ridiculous! 

I walked into what was called my “homeroom.” Everybody was just staring at me. What? Did I have something in my teeth? I looked around and found the teacher. He was standing at the board wearing long black robes. His hair was blonde and a little messy, almost like he just rolled out of bed. 

“Hi,” I said sheepishly smiling at him. “I don’t know if anyone told you about me but I’m new here.” 

He looked at me in the most confused way like he had no idea what was happening. “Well,” he said, sticking out a hand. “I’m Colin Creevey.” I could hear stifled laughter from behind me. “I’m gonna go take my seat now.”

Well that was embarrassing.

I looked at the clock to see that there was only 5 minutes until class started. I turned around to find a seat. I walked to an open seat in the front next to the “teacher-student”. 

“Not there,” said a mop headed boy. “Colin Creevey’s girlfriend is going to sit there.” 

Just then a, short Asian girl with long black hair walked in, wearing a navy blue shirt with white trim tucked into a high waisted black skirt. She was looking everywhere but at the boy in the front row, who was waving his arms like a maniac. 

“Kaia! Over here! I saved you a seat right next to me!” Kaia was doing everything in her power not to make eye contact with him. By the looks of it she wanted nothing to do with him, but reluctantly sat down next to him. I moved to the next open seat behind a larger person. 

“You don’t want to sit there… He farts a lot.” 

The mop headed boy said as the large kid turned around as to say “What can I say? You gotta do what you gotta do.”

Just as I was about to take the seat behind that one, someone one swiped it right from under me. Damn! Is there even another open seat? I got on my tip toes to see the back and just as I turned around, the song *Highway to Hell by AC/DC started to play. A tall, curvy woman walked in, her long blond curls blowing behind her. Her eyes pierced behind black rimmed glasses. She wore a loose, floral blouse tucked into a pencil skirt perfectly contouring to her perfect figure. Her legs went on for miles, and her four inch black heals were making her legs look even better. All the students stared at her in awe. She put her bag on the desk and began to write on the board. Just before she finished, the principal walked in and before announcing himself, got a good, long look at her.

“Excuse me Mrs. Norbary,” he said, clearing his throat. “Do you have a minute?”

She stopped mid stroke and tensed up. She looked pissed.

“Yeah, but make it quick.” She wanted nothing to do with this creep, as she was a very stern, get down to business lady. 

“We have a new student joining us all the way from Africa,” he said excitedly. Mrs. Norbary looked around the room and looked at the only black girl in the class. 

“Welcome!” she said, almost too enthusiastically. 

“I’m from Michigan,” the black girl said, rolling her eyes. 

“Her name is Cas. Where are you Cas?” asked the principal.

Offended, I mustered up the deepest, manliest voice I could. “I’m right here,” I said, stepping forward, not realizing I still wasn’t in a seat.

“Oh, my apologies Cas. Well, I hope you enjoy yourself here at Holt Central.” He then exited through the door after getting one last long look at Mrs. Norbary. I could feel people staring at me, but most of all, Mrs. Norbary. 

“Well,” she said. “Are you going to take a seat or are you just going to stand there?” 

“Oh right. Yeah, I’ll take a seat.” I was forced to sit behind the large, farting kid. Great, this hour better go by fast.

“Okay bitches. My name is Mrs. Norbary. But you can, and should, call me Paris. Any questions?” The whole class was staring at her in awe, and after 3 seconds of extremely awkward silence, she spoke again. “No questions? Good. Let’s get this show on the road.”

The day went by in a blur and before I knew it, it was lunch time. I followed the crowd like a school of fish to the lunch room. I’ve never had a school lunch before so I didn’t exactly know what to do. Everyone was hurried and rude, pushing past each other to get their lunch. That way they could sit and shovel the “food” down their throats before the lunch period was over. I found a line and followed suit. 

“Peas?” A crotchety looking lady held up a spoon with what looked like three day old boogers marinating in water. 

“Sure,” I whispered, uncertain of my choice. The lunch lady hacked like a chain smoker and dished the peas to me. “Great, three day old boogers with smokers cough, my favorite,” I said as sarcastically as possible. The lunch lady rolled her eyes and dished to the girl behind me. 

When I got through the line, I scanned over the lunch room to find a place to sit. I walked over to a table with an empty seat, only to be rejected by a nasty look from a girl who put her bag in the empty seat next to her. Another quick glance and I found nothing. With my head down, I made my way to the bathroom and sat in a stall. Seemed peaceful enough. Who am I kidding, this day had been hell. I was lost, I didn’t know where any of my classes were, I was getting in trouble for being late, and teachers were yelling at me for going to the bathroom without a pass. It’s so foreign to be in a world where adults didn’t trust me. 

The rest of my day went by and I was finally able to go home. As I was walking up the drive way, I saw my parents sitting on the front porch. Crap! They’re gonna ask about my day. I do not want to talk about this now. I put my head down and briskly walked up the stairs to the front door. 

“Cassie!” My mother shouted with glee. “You’re home!” 

“How was your first day?” My dad sat, looking over his newspaper with excitement in his eyes. All I could do is stare at the two of them and shake my head. I turned the knob to the front door and barged into the house.

The next day, I rushed into homeroom and took the third seat in the row so I wasn’t directly behind the farting boy. 

“Hi.” The boy sitting next to me was smiling and staring at me.

“Hi,” I said with a shy smile.

“Is that your natural hair?”

“Yes,” I said, a little confused, and in no time I was pulled across the aisle with my head squished besides his. 

“See this is the style I want.” He said.

“Sorry, this is Kevin. He’s almost too gay to function,” said the boy sitting next to Kevin. Releasing me, Kevin gave me a small wave and a “I-know-I’m-fabulous” look. 

“Hey Sammy. Nice wig, what’s it made of?” A kid with big thick rimmed glasses was grinning from ear to ear as his friends laughed behind him. But it all ended when Sammy, the boy next to Kevin, stood to reveal his tall stance and chiseled biceps. He gave them a look of hatred, his eyes burning deep into their souls and slowly raised his fist. The group of kids just stared at him, scared shitless. 

“S-sorry. It was just a joke,” they said, then scurried away. Sammy sat down, closed his eyes, and took a deep breath to calm himself. Turning to me with a big pearly smile, he held out his hand. 

“I’m Sammy.” 

I took his hand and gave him a firm handshake. “I’m Cas. Do you guys know where room G-14 is?” 

Taking my schedule, Sammy examined it. “G-14? I think that’s in the back building.” Kevin just looked at him confused while Sammy was giving me a devious smile, and Kevin nodded in agreement. 

“Oh yeah, that’s in the back building. We’ll show you,” Kevin said with a big smile. 

After homeroom, we pushed through the students in the hallway. 

“Everyone out of the way! New meat coming through!” shouted Kevin. Nobody could hear us so we just continued to push through the crowd. I was lead outside across the soccer field under a tree. There was no back building. Why would they take me out here if there was no back building? “Ummm… Where’s the back building?” I asked, worried. 

“It burned down in 1974,” Sammy said, looking up from his drawing. 

“Won’t we get into some kind of trouble for this?” I asked, my heart racing. 

“Why would we get you into trouble? We’re your friend,” said Sammy, giving me a dumfounded look. 

Friends. I sat down on the damp grass not wanting to pass up friends. I guess I would never know what I missed on that first day of health class.

Health class…

“All right kids!” A slender woman addressed the class, dressed in tight black pants with a floral top that was hugging her curves and let just the right amount of cleavage show. Her knee high black boots gave her that “Don’t-Fuck-With-Me” vibe. Her bright, red lips pursed in a hard line, and her piercing eyes glared at the class. The song *Brick house by the Commodores played in the minds of all the guys in the class while *I kissed a girl by Katy Perry played in all the girls. 

“Now, this is a condom,” she said, holding up a small foil package. “This helps protect against STD’s and pregnancy. Now, if you have a really bad case of, let’s say, genital herpes, where it has spread past the penis, it can be passed to your partner, or they can pass it to you.” A hand shot up in the back. “Yes, you have a question Mr. Smith?” 

“Yeah. I heard that condoms don’t really work. Like they break really easy, especially with my BIG DI…” 

“That’s enough!” Mrs. Sorenstien interrupted. “Now that is a myth. Condoms are 99.9% effective. 0.4%-2.3% break. That’s one in every 100, if that.” 

Ripping the packet open, she took out the rubber holding it between her index finger and thumb. “Condoms are strong enough to hold a gallon of water.” As she said this, she started to roll the condom over her fingers, around her hand, and to the middle of her forearm. “There is no way this is going to break. This is over my hand with my wedding ring while I’m flexing my fingers. So ladies, don’t ever let a guy tell you that a condom will break. And if you happen to be well endowed, like Mr. Smith, they make XXL just for that. Sure, it won’t feel the same, but at least you’re having sex. Now, let’s talk about pregnancy.”


	28. Mean Boys Pt 2 (Mean Girls AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Professor Ashlex

“Oh my god, would you look at Harry Potter’s gym clothes,” Kevin said, practically drooling. 

“What a shock that all the Plaidsticks are in the same gym class” Sammy said with disgust. 

“Who are the Plaidsticks?” I asked, extremely confused. 

“The Plaidsticks are teen royalty. They run this school. That one with the glasses and the short black hair, that’s Harry Potter. He has this way with people to get all their secrets. And the one without a shirt, that’s Jimmy Kirk, the muscles of the operation. Just the muscles, though,” Sammy said with a smirk.

“I sat next to him in English last year, and he asked me how to spell ‘orange,’” Kevin said, never taking his eyes off Harry. Just then *Hells Bells by AC/DC began to play as the leader took his place on the soccer field. He was wearing a tight white T-shirt that extenuated his perfectly saggy front and plaid pajama pants slightly blowing in the wind. His friends joined him as they began to gossip and laugh. 

“And that one, is Steven Proudfoot. What I wouldn’t do to break his face in two. That son-of-a-bitch.” Sammy just stared at him with a burning hatred for a few seconds until finally returning to the real world. 

“Alright Cassie, can I call you Cassie?” Kevin asked, even though I could tell he had already decided to call me Cassie. 

“I prefer Cas,” I said in protest. 

“Yeah, I’m gonna call you Cassie.” Damn it. “So, what math are you taking this year?”

“I actually got moved to calculus,” I said with a proud smile on my face.

“Oh my god, you’re in twelfth grade math?” Kevin asked in utter disgust. “Why?” He asked, looking at me as if I just insulted his great ancestors. 

“It’s the same in every language,” I said, candid.

“That’s beautiful,” Kevin said in a forgiving yet poetic tone. 

“Here. This is your map to Holt Central,” Sammy said, handing me what he had been working on since homeroom. It had all the classrooms and hallways, but the biggest portion of the drawing was the lunch room. “Where you sit at lunch is key. You have your preps, Jv jocks, mean black hotties, Senior jocks, sexually active band geeks, girls who eat their feelings, girls who don’t eat anything, the best people you will ever meet: us, and the worst: The Plaidsticks.”

Two class periods later and it was lunch time. With Sammy’s map in mind, I scouted out him and Kevin, but I was stopped by the nerdy kid from my homeroom. 

“Hey kid! Dropped your pocket!” he said. I looked down, confused. How the hell do you drop your pocket? As they erupted into laughter I realized it was a prank. Haha, very funny. Now how about a swift punch in the mouth? 

“Is he bothering you?” 

I turned to see who said that and froze when I saw it was Steven Proudfoot, Leader of the Plaidsticks. 

“Jeremy, why don’t you go be a little shit somewhere else,” Steven said in a condescending tone. The kid lowered his head and walked away, wounded. I turned and smiled at him and started to walk away until I was interrupted. 

“Sit with us,” he said, pointing to the chair in front of him. I looked up to see Sammy waving me over. 

“Come on, sit with us,” and out of nowhere, I sat. What the hell! I looked over to see Sammy and Kevin gawking at me. I just shrugged because I had no idea what was going on. 

“Why don’t I know who you are?” Steve asked, sitting back and crossing his arms, glaring at me over his glasses. 

“I’m new. I was homeschooled. We moved here from Africa,” I said nervously. 

“Shut up. Homeschooled. That’s really interesting. You’re like, really good looking.” 

“Thank you,” I said, really weirded out.

“So you agree,” He said with a smile.

“What?” I gasped.

“You agree you’re really good looking?” he said, leaning forward on the table.

“If you’re from Africa, why are you white?” Jimmy said, staring at me with the most ridiculous confused look on his face. 

“Oh my god Jimmy. You can’t just ask people why they’re white,” Harry said, giving me an apologetic smile. 

“Will you give us a sec?” Steve said to me, leaning back and whispering something to his two sidekicks. I glanced over to Sammy and Kevin who hadn’t taken their eyes off me yet. I just smiled and shrugged. What else could I do?

“Okay, we don’t usually do this so I want you to know how big a deal this is,” Steve said, excited in a hush hush kind of way.

“We want you to have lunch with us for the rest of the week,” Harry said with a big smile on his face. It looked like his face was going to split in two. 

“On Wednesdays, we wear pink. Oh, and you have to wear some form of plaid at all times,” Jimmy said with that dumb look. Well, that explained why they’re called the Plaidsticks.

After lunch was over, I went into the bathroom to collect my thoughts. I couldn’t just blow off the friends I had just made for the most popular guys in school. 

“Cassie!” Sammy shouted from behind me. I jumped at his gruff tone. Apparently he and Kevin had followed me into the bathroom.

“Hey Sammy,” I said, trying to diffuse his anger. 

“What the hell was that all about!?” He said, glaring at me with dark burning eyes. 

“I didn’t know what to do! I’m sorry. They invited me to sit with them for the rest of the week. I can’t just say no!” I said in a flash, barely recognizing my own voice. 

“No, you can’t,” Sammy said with a devious smile, and I knew he had a plan. “Okay, I’ve got an idea. You’re going to sit with them and get all their secrets and stuff like that. We need to crack this group. Find out what makes them tick. By the end of the year there will be no more hierarchy at this school,” Sammy said with revenge in his voice. Or worry. I couldn’t tell what it was. 

“I can’t spy on them. It would be too weird,” I said, retreating back into the corner. 

“Don’t think of it as spying. Think of it as a game! A game that we have to win. Or else we’ll be stuck in this place forever,” Sammy said, looking into the distance. He looked sad, as if he had lost something, or worse, someone.

“Okay,” I said reluctantly. “I’ll do it. Do you own anything pink?”

“No,” Sammy said in disgust.

“YES!” Shouted Kevin in excitement.

I was so happy it was seventh period. Calculus. Nothing could distract me here. In here, everything made sense. The kid in front of me dropped his pencil. He bent down to get it but it was nowhere to be seen. He looked under my seat and spotted it under my foot. He turned towards me, and I was frozen at the sight of his face. He looked like a Greek god. His strong, chiseled jaw line. Bright eyes, a smile that said “hello” and “I wanna fuck” in all in one. His muscular forearm rested on my chair, his bicep just budging, among other things right now. My heart was pounding, hands sweating, I could feel my lip quiver. 

“Hey, can you hand me my pencil. It’s under your foot, and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable with my head under there,” he said, winking and giving me a crooked smile. 

I sat there staring at him, and his face started to fall, and then it came to me that I was staring at him like a complete idiot. WAKE UP DUMBASS! “Oh, yeah,” I said, bending down, and I could feel my face turn the color of Mrs. Norbary’s red stilettos. I picked it up and handed it to him. “Here you go,” I breathed. 

“Thanks,” he said, grinning like a fool. 

“Now if 1+1 is 2, how do I get fleek?” Mrs. Norbary asked, waiting impatiently for an answer. I couldn’t answer it if I wanted too. Well, maybe if I just looked at my book confused, she wouldn’t call on me.

“Seriously, not one of you idiots can answer this? Wow. Just, wow.” I could hear Mrs. Norbary was irritated but all I could think about was how hot the hunk in front of me was. I wondered what he would look like naked and covered in oil. That would definitely make his muscles look juicy. What I wouldn’t give to just lick some hot fudge off his chest. Who cares about math when he was just so… “Cas. What do you think?”

“So cute.” Wait! Did I just say that out loud?! Yep. I did. Everyone was staring, even him. Oh, I’m such an idiot!! Mrs. Norbary was looking at me like she could salt and burn me. Salt and burn? Why did that sound like something I should know how to do? Let’s just get through this first. 

“We’re on page 275 just to give you a little help. Numbers,” the kid in front of me whispered. 

Oh my krust! He’s so nice too! No way. He was so perfect. Dumbass! Keep your focus on the numbers. “I mean, you take the one and move it over to where the two is and put a parenthesis around the two numbers together.”

“Wouldn’t that make a twelve?” Mrs. Norbary asked, glancing over her glasses.

“Not if you put the ~ in between the 1 and 2. That symbol makes the two numbers keep their own values. You then take derf and multiply it by 1 first and then 2. After that you take 1 times derf and then the 2 times derf and add the two answers together. And finally you divide that by 79 making fleek.” 

I sat there staring at a sea of confused eyes that looked as if they were going to burst into laughter. Mrs. Norbary gave that typical teacher look, the “you-could-be wrong-but-then-again-you-could-be-right” look. Time slowed down. Tick, tick, tick. Oh my god. Was I wrong? Nothing would be more embarrassing than being wrong. I could feel sweat start to form on my hands and brow. And then it happened, Mrs. Norbary opened her mouth to talk. This was it. 

“Very good Cas. Looks like someone knows what the hell is going on.” She turned and wrote the equation on the board. Some of the students opened their mouths to try and argue the answer, others just stared at me as if I was some home-schooled jungle freak. I spent the rest of the class trying not to make eye contact with the hunk of man flesh in front of me.

The bell finally rang and school was over. I gathered my stuff and headed for the door, but I was blocked by some kid with a tacky bowling shirt on. “Hey. My name is Putin, leader of the Mathleats. I think you would make a great addition to the group.”

“Ummm…” 

“Yeah, that’s a great idea. You’d make a great addition to this group of geeks,” The Greek god said from behind. I turned around to meet his eyes. “I mean you’re very wonderful, I mean cute… your mind is wonderfully cute.” His face turned bright red and his eyes darted around the room. I could feel myself flush and my heart raced out of its chest.

“Get out of here Dean. Stop embarrassing yourself!” joked Putin. “What do you think?” he said, turning his attention back to me as Dean left the classroom.

“I’ll have to think about it. I’ll let you know as soon as possible though,” I said with a smile and walked out. 

Outside, I found myself at the soccer field watching the team warming up and chatting before practice. Sitting on the curb, my only thought was “I can’t believe how cute he is.” Dean dribbled the ball up the field and kicked it right into the net. His calf rippled and sweat ran down his back. I must have sat there for ten minutes before I noticed myself drooling. 

Honk honk! I turned around to see a cherry red convertible with the top down. In it were the Plaidsticks looking fabulous, like male models in a Calvin Kline catalogue. Why did they want me in their group?

“Get in loser, we’re going shopping,” Steve yelled out the window. With one last look back at Dean I climbed into the back seat of the car and we drove away.

Shopping was less than fun. They spent most of their time in FYE and Lumberjack’s. They watched a lot of ani-something and read some weird backwards Japanese books that had way too much cartoon sex in them. I think “Attack on Triton” was Steven’s favorite. He kept bragging about his collection of Home-luck t-shirts and fedoras to go with them. They helped me pick out all the “good” plaid I needed to be in the group. By the time we went into the third Gamestop in town, I was done. I didn’t understand any of this.

“Oh my god, I found it!” wailed Steven from the back wall. “Dark Souls 2!”

Finally, we headed back to Steve’s place. The road twisted and turned on a beautiful country road. There were farms with cows and goats, and there was a lot of those hay rolls. Then we turned down a road that lead into the woods. It was a small road that lead to a perpendicular road with a shabby little house right at the end of it. Oh god, where does he live? Do I have to start worrying now? Oh no, I hear banjos. He turned right and the houses looked like the first house. Little poorly painted houses with bad siding and holes in the sides. Some houses looked like junk yards. But then, out of nowhere…

“Wow,” I said breathily. Amazing. The house was beautiful, with ivory brick and gold trim. The front door was tall and made of glass with matching windows along the front. The porch had three steps and two large ivory pillars holding up the house. I’ve never seen anything like this before, except in pictures. I couldn’t keep my mouth shut, my eyes were bulging out of my head. 

“I know, right?” Steve said with a snotty tone and a smile. Jimmy followed Steve in, staring at his butt the whole way. 

“Make sure you check out his mom’s hair. It’s fabulous. I hear some hair genius from Chestertucky does it,” Harry said, giving me a wink.

Walking in, the house seemed warm and comfortable. It wasn’t clean, but it wasn’t disgusting either. It felt lived in, like a family lived there. It felt… nice.

“Hey, hey, hey. What’s up bitches?” A short woman wearing a flowing blue cocktail dress with fabulous hair walked out of the kitchen holding a white cat with striking blue eyes. 

“Hey mom,” Steve said with a huff. 

“Don’t you dare take that tone with me mister. I gave you life, and I am not afraid to take it away! Do you want me to get the salt?” she said giving him the stare down.

“Hey Mrs. Kara, this is Cassie. He’s from Africa,” Harry said, giving Kara a friendly smile.

“Look at you. That’s some hot stuff right there.” What? Me. I’m only 17. That’s weird. “You know what? I’m gonna make you guys a hump day treat.”

We all headed up stairs and down the hall to floor to ceiling double doors the same color as the outside brick. Steven opened the doors to reveal the biggest nerd cave in the world. I didn’t know what half this stuff was. There were strange gadgets with what looked to be controllers. Posters covered the walls, and I could only recognize the Bone-stuck posters and products sitting on shelves. They all threw their stuff on the bed and planted themselves in front of the closet mirror.

“My thighs are so big,” Steven said in disgust.

“My nail beds suck,” Jimmy said glaring at his fingers

“This scar is a total buzz kill. How am I supposed to wear my hair to the side?” Harry said pulling his hair back. It appeared he was trying to erase it with his finger with no results. The list went on and on. How could people see this much hate in themselves? I thought they were all gorgeous humans. But, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Then they all turned to me and looked as if they were going to attack me. Was I supposed to join in on this hate fest? 

“Oh. Ummm, sometimes my feet smell kinda bad.” Would that be enough to get them off my back? 

“Ew,” Jimmy said, disgusted. 

“Hey guys! Happy hour is from 4-6!” Thank god, saved by the bell. Kara waltzed in carrying a tray with fancy cups and a green liquid in them. Harry, Jimmy, and Steve all took one and began to drink immediately.

I took mine, a little concerned, and took a sniff of it. “Umm, is there any alcohol in this?”

“Oh god no. What kind of a mother do you think I am?” She pulled out a bedazzled flask from her high pocket and took a long swig from it. “But there is in this,” she said smiling, almost falling backwards before walking out. The rest of the time with them was just confusing and pointless. I couldn’t wait to get back home and call Sammy. There was nothing here to break this group. 

“So Cas, is there anyone you think is cute?” Jimmy asked swinging his feet in the air and propping his head in his hands. 

“Yeah. There’s this guy in my calculus class. I guess he’s kinda good looking,” I said blushing. 

“A senior! What’s his name?” Harry asked in a giddy fashion. Why is this so important? Jeez, why couldn’t I have stayed in Africa? 

“His name in Dean. I didn’t catch his last name,” They all stared at me and then at Steve, looking horrified. What the hell? Was there something wrong with him? 

“Dean Winchester? Let me just tell you that he’s good looking, and sweet, but as soon as he has you where he wants you, he rips your heart out and throws it off a cliff. But do whatever you want,” said Steve.

Maybe I shouldn’t do what I want. I feel like that’s a road I don’t want to go down. But that doesn’t mean I can’t look at him, or think about him, or dream about him?


	29. Mean Boys Pt 3(Mean Girls AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Professor Ashlex

“Matt! Matt, our baby is home!” My mom came bursting through the front door and pulled me into a big zebra hug. One that I couldn’t get out of and couldn’t *gasp* breathe. 

“Let him go honey. He’s turning blue,” Dad to the rescue. “How was your day dear? I want to hear all about it!” I began to tell them about all my classes and my new friends I met in homeroom and the ones from lunch. But I decided to keep out the part where I was spying on my lunch friends. 

Later, after I finished my homework and dinner was over, I decided to call Sammy.

“Winchester residence.” What the krust! Did I dial the wrong number? Oh my god, what do I do? Calm down moron, just ask for Sammy. “Is, ummm, Sammy there?” my heart stopped at the silence. 

“Could I ask whose calling?” Oh no. Wrong number! Abort mission. ABORT MISSION! 

“It’s Cas,” More silence. 

“Hey Sammy! Phone for you! He’ll be right there.” I could feel my knees turn to jelly. I had just talked to the Greek God on the phone. He even sounds heavenly over the phone. 

“Hello?” Good, Sammy. I have a few words for this guy. 

“First of all, why didn’t you tell me you had a brother?”

“What? I didn’t think I had to tell you from the get go. Why, do you have a crush on him or something?” Sammy asked, but not in a way to make fun of me. More of a desperate plea. 

“What? I mean, yes, maybe. He’s cute. I don’t know. Don’t tell him. He’ll think I’m weird.” I can’t believe I’m this close to him. Even over the phone I can feel his warmth. I could hear *Lovin’ Touchin’ Squeezin’ by Journey in the background. 

“Sounds like he’s in love. He never brings out the Journey records unless he’s in a particularly good mood.” I could hear Sammy’s smile from the other end of the phone. He must really love his brother. And then it hit me. So do I. 

“Hey, I was with the Plaidsticks today and it was brought up that I liked your brother. Then Steve went on a rant how he was a player and ripped out his heart. What’s that all about?” There was silence for a minute. What’s with this family and long silences? 

“Son of a bitch! He never played him! He let him down so nicely and AHHH!!! Stupid bitch!” I could hear Sammy trying to keep his temper down. And on que *Crazy Bitch by Buck Cherry started to play as if Dean was listening into the conversation. “I promised I wouldn’t do this but I have no choice.” 

“No you can’t, they have to figure it out for themselves,” A woman’s voice whispered from the other end of the line. 

“Ezri, I have no choice. We’re getting nowhere. The Plaidsticks are too involved in themselves that they’re never going to give us any information. We have to do this,” Sammy pleaded with Ezri. 

There was a moment of silence before I heard a sigh of defeat. “Fine. Let’s do it.” What were they talking about? And what did it have to do with me? 

“Okay. Are you free this weekend?” Sammy asked.

“Yeah. I think so.” Something was going on and I wanted to figure out what it was. Even if that meant I didn’t want to know.

“Good. I’m throwing a party. You’re invited. Do whatever it takes to get the Plaidsticks there. Okay?” Sammy sounded more urgent than excited for this party. 

“Okay. I’ll do whatever it takes to get them there. Why is this so important anyway? What’s going on?” 

“Just get them here okay. Everything will make sense on Saturday. I gotta go.” He hung up the phone leaving me extremely confused.

The next day at lunch I was trying to convince the Plaidsticks to go the party. But to my surprise, it was harder than I thought. “I hear that anybody who’s anybody is going to be there,” I said trying to sound confident.

“I don’t know. DreadedCone is streaming live on Twitch that night,” Steve said. “He’s doing a scream stream and that’s one thing I don’t want to miss.” Wow, is it really that important to watch someone else play a video game? 

“Come on Cherry pie! It’ll be fun! We haven’t been to a party since…” Jimmy went silent because Steve was giving him a glare that nobody wanted to be at the end of. Harry turned his attention to Kevin across the lunchroom, probably so he didn’t get brought into the awkward conversation. God, I’m getting nowhere. Well, I was told to do whatever it takes to get them there. I hate to do this. 

“Dean will be there. I heard that he was planning on trying to make things right with you.” Hearing the words come out of my mouth made my heart break. Steve looked up contemplating on the weekends events. “Well, I mean, I guess.” Yes! It was working! But at the same time my stomach was about to fall out of my butt. 

“Oh come on Steve! It will be fun. It’s what you’ve always wanted anyway.” When did Harry peal himself away from Kevin? Hmmm… I’m onto you Harry. 

“Okay. We’ll go!” Steve looked as if he had an evil plan. This couldn’t be good.

After lunch, I was met at my locker by a copper haired girl with mysterious gray eyes, someone I could only imagine to be Ezri. 

“Hey, so I didn’t want this to happen this way but seeing that we don’t have any other choice,” Ezri said sounded defeated. “So on Saturday you’re going to come over. Bring some snacks. It’s going to be a bitchin’ night.” 

“What is going on? Why did I have to get the Plaidsticks to go to the party?” I can’t believe what’s happening right now. Ezri looked at me like she wanted to tell me everything, but I got the idea that now wasn’t the right time.

“It will all make sense on Saturday,” The bell rang and she turned to leave. “I have to go. Remember, Saturday!” And just like that, Ezri was gone. 

Saturday night came at the drop of a dime. What do you even wear to a party? I tried on everything in my closet. I don’t know what I was more nervous about, running into Dean or what was supposed to happen tonight. I walked down stairs to my parents sitting on the couch. “Hey. Whatcha guys doin’?” Both of my parents turned around and out of nowhere, my mom started crying hysterically. “My… baby… is all… grown up!” and she began to sob into my dad’s arm. 

“Colleen, calm down. He’ll be back tonight. Son, you look great. Go get him!” 

I started down the street with a 2 liter of coke and my famous bacon covered tater tots. I rounded the corner and I could see a house lit up to the top and music was pumping out of it. I could see the walls shaking and the house bouncing off the ground. I was starting to worry for the wellbeing of the house. It looked like everyone in school was there. *Can’t Hold Us by Macklemore was playing as people danced around the house. 

“I CAN’T DO IT ANYMORE!” Someone cried from the house, and just then wings spread from under the ceiling and it floated away into the peaceful night air. 

Walking up to the house, the door burst open and Colin Creevey fell through, followed by a raging Kaia. There was a wind blowing around her and blowing her hair back. Her eyes were dark and burning into his soul. 

“COLIN! FOR THE LAST TIME! IT’S OVER!” This was making me very uncomfortable, Colin was crying and gasping for breath and Kaia was jabbing her heal into his side. Colin jumped up and ran away with his face in his hands. 

“So welcome to the party. Oooh, are those bacon covered tater tots? I love these things, said Kaia, taking the tray of tater tots, she walked back into the house as if that scene didn’t even happen. I followed her inside to the noise. It was amazing. People dancing, talking, eating. It was the most incredible thing I’ve ever seen. 

“Cassie!” I turned around to see Sammy sitting in a chair with Ezri in his lap. “Hey dude. Thanks for coming.” 

“No problem. Great party man.” 

“Oh my god Cas. Hi!” Kevin wrapped his arms around me, the smell of tequila wafting around me. 

“Hey Kevin. Looks like you’re having fun,” I said laughing and returning his big embrace. “We’re about to play spin the bottle for seven minutes in heaven. You should totally join!” Kevin said grabbing my wrist before I could answer. 

“Hold on. What’s spin the bottle for seven minutes in heaven?” I asked. 

“It’s two games in one,” a husky voice came from behind me, sending a chill down my spine. “You spin the bottle and whoever it lands on, you and that person go into that bedroom and stay in there for seven minutes having fun with each other.” Dean smiled and gave me a little wink. He made my knees turn to jelly. 

“I think we’ll join too,” Steve was standing at the front door with Harry and Jimmy on either side of him. “It’s been a while since I’ve been alone in a room with you big guy,” Steve walked passed Dean, grabbing his butt. I could feel myself clenching my fists. My finger nails were digging into my palms. I was going to get into that room with him. Even if I have to cheat. 

“Let’s play,” Jimmy said, excitedly pulling Harry to the floor with him. We all sat in a circle with an empty beer bottle in the center. 

“Here, you might need this,” a beer was lowered down to me by Kevin. I looked across the circle to see Dean looking at me over his cup. The first person to spin was the leader of the Mathleats, Putin. It landed on some girl with an evil look to her. Something told me that going up to a room with her was a bad idea, but it looked like Putin never really got any unless it was set up like this. Putin smiled from ear to ear, and the girl was grinning a sinister grin and followed him up to the room. The rest of us sat in the circle talking and drinking. 

“AHHHH!” 

“What was that?” We were all listening intently at the commotion going on upstairs.

“OH MY GOD! STOP! IT BURNS!” Putin was screaming and I didn’t know what to do. 

“Sounds like someone is having fun,” Steve joked and his crew joined in. A few seconds later, that creepy girl walked down the stairs and left the party. 

“Ummm… who’s next then?” I asked, looking around the circle. 

“I’ll go!” Steve said, grabbing the bottle with his whole hand. He looked across the circle to Dean licking his upper lip and winking. Stop staring at my man! The bottle spun around and around, finally to stop on Jimmy. Jimmy looked as though he had won the lottery. “Well, it’s not like we haven’t done anything before,” Steve said, trying to sound disappointed. Taking Jimmy by the hand, they went upstairs and proceeded to have their fun. 

“They’ll be gone for a while,” Harry said with a soft chuckle. “We should probably just continue the game.”

“Cas, why don’t you go next?” Kevin said handing me the bottle. With a silent wish and sweaty hands, I spun the bottle hoping it would land on… oh my god. I looked up to meet eyes with Dean. My heart was leaping out of my chest, I could feel my face begin to turn red and my hands were even sweatier now. I could see his face change. He looked animalistic, ready to pounce on his prey, and I was willing. I could hear the rest of the crowed all gasping and saying “Oooh” in their high pitched, giddy fashion, like this was a one-time thing and after, we would go on like nothing happened. But I knew that this was not the case. This is why we were here, all of us. People who have nothing, yet everything in common. 

Dean stood up and held out his hand and pulled me up so I was pressed up against his hard abs. “Shall we?” Dean whispered in my ear while grabbing my butt. I could feel myself harden at his touch. I nodded and we started up the stairs and into his bedroom. Before I could get a good look, the door closed and the next thing I knew, I was pushed up against the wall with my arms pined above me. Our tongues were wrestling for dominance, as we stumbled across the room looking for something solid. Dean sunk into a chair holding me steady with his hands on my waist. He slowly started to unbutton my shirt to expose my skin underneath, leaning forward he started to leave soft wet kisses on my stomach. Running my fingers through his hair I could feel how warm he was and how comfortable I was with him. Suddenly, I felt something warm and wet on my stomach. When I looked down, Dean’s face was pressed into my stomach and his arms were around my back pulling me closer to him. 

“Hey, hey, hey. What’s wrong?” I said falling to my knees grabbing his face into my hands.

“It’s just that… I love you Cas,” Dean said with a couple tears running down his face.

“I know you do. I love you too.”

“I-I just wish I figured all this out sooner.” Dean said holding me closer to his body. “I wish it didn’t take me so long.”

“You have me now. And in the next life, we’ll be together no matter what it takes. We will always come back to each other. I love you so much, and nothing will ever change that. You are always here,” I grabbed Dean’s hand and placed it on my chest, “in my heart.”

“Oh Cas! I love you.” Dean leapt forward pushing me to the bed, taking me in a passionate embrace, and I returning it. A few seconds later, there was a bright light shining down on us. A billion shooting stars were zooming across the sky, going in every direction. All-of-a-sudden Sammy came bursting in the room followed by Ezri. 

“Come on guys, we gotta go!” Running out the door and down the hall we burst in on Steve and Jimmy in the middle of some crazy tantric sex position.

“Alright guys. We don’t have time for this. We need to get moving,” Sammy yelled throwing clothes at them. They hurried to get dressed and flew down the stairs, meeting Harry and Kevin outside. “Everyone here? The portal should be opening soon. Where do you think it’ll be?” Sammy said looking around. 

“I don’t know. I’m assuming the sky. I mean look at it! I’ve never seen this before,” Dean shouted over the noise. But before their eyes they saw a rickety old van pull up, the doors were falling off the hinges and there was a dust trail behind it. The driver was hooded and boney. He slowly turned his head and motioned us towards the van. 

“I don’t think we should get in that guys van. That’s kinda sketchy,” I said, but as I finished my sentence, the van door flew open and a swirling green light appeared out of the back. 

“Well, that’s our ride,” I said, looking up at Dean.

“Until next time,” Dean said, pulling me into a warm embrace, tilting my head back and placing his lips on mine.

“Come on guys. Get a room,” Sammy said, pulling us apart from each other. “We have to go before the portal closes.” 

“After you my love,” Dean said, pointing forward.

“Together,” I said, grabbing his hand and running for the van, jumping head first into the green light, pulling us into our next universe.


	30. Prophecy of Heroes (Disney AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Father Parpar

The day that the Prophecy was spoken, everything changed. The three kingdoms of the land fell into turmoil. The Winchester Kingdom defended their land as best they could, but many villages had fallen victim to the tyranny. The Pirate Kingdom tried to stay neutral, but even they were affected.

Queen Kara the Malevolent, ruler of the third kingdom and Evil Sorceress, took the land first surrounding her kingdom, then tried to take other land. Many small villages fell victim to Kara’s evil plan. One such was the Deer Grove village, part of the Winchester Kingdom, where siblings Castiel and Ezri were forced to flee when Kara’s army attacked. She burned and pillaged the town leaving Castiel and Ezri homeless and orphaned. They ran, the only survivors from the attack, and they knew they would be followed. So they fled to the forest, their measly belongings in a small backpack upon Castiel’s back. 

The woods were misty and dark, the sounds of owls whoing in the branches. The winding path was riddled with obstacles such as fallen logs and roots. They had been travelling like that for three days, since the day they had come home from picking berries to find the village burning and their family dead. 

A twig snapped up ahead on the path and they both stopped, fearing that it was one of Queen Kara’s scouts that were looking for them. 

“This way,” said Castiel, pulling Ezri off the path to hide behind a tree. They waited silently, even their breathing hushed. Voices drifted across the fog. It sounded like two men on horseback were coming their way. They were laughing and talking. As they got closer, Ezri and Castiel held their breath, hoping they wouldn’t be spotted. The two men trotted past their tree. 

Ezri’s eyes went wide. She recognized them. They weren’t scouts…

She let out a small gasp at her realization. The two men stopped talking. At her side, Castiel nudged Ezri with his elbow giving her a look. One of the men got off his black horse and looked around in the direction the two siblings were hiding. He walked over, his hand on his blade. Ezri and Castiel tried to hide further behind the tree and they figured they were out of sight, but the man came around the other side and spotted them. They stood and the man backed off. 

“Who are you?” he asked. 

“My name is Castiel and this is my sister, Ezri,” said Castiel, his gaze on the ground. He flicked up a glance at the two men, the other one having joined. They look so familiar… Castiel thought. 

“My name is Dean and my brother here is Sam,” said the shorter of the two. They were both taller than Castiel and Ezri, but the one was gigantic. The taller one, Sam, had luscious brown hair that went to his shoulders. The other had a face that should be illegal, it was so handsome, and short blonde hair that was spiked up in the front. 

“Sam and Dean…” Castiel’s eyes widened as he realized who they were. “Your majesties!”

He and Ezri lowered their heads, Castiel bowing and Ezri curtsying. 

“Please, no need for that,” said Sam. Ezri looked up at him and caught his eye. He was very beautiful, but it felt as though, in that moment, that they knew each other already, and Ezri felt something stir in her gut. 

Castiel stood and looked at them both. They were both very handsome men, he knew this from the way the girls in the village are thrown into a tizzy every time they’re mentioned, but the older brother, Dean, was much more beautiful in person than Castiel could have imagined. He had a hard time looking away. 

“What are you two doing out in these woods?” asked Dean. 

“We’ve been travelling these woods, trying to evade Queen Kara’s scouts,” said Ezri. 

“Queen Kara….” Sam shook his head. “Her evil reign on this land has gone too far…”

Meanwhile, atop the volcanic mountain on the edge of the forests, sat a black tower. Its tall spires pierced the sky. And in the topmost room of the tower, Kara sat in her throne room, upon her throne made of onyx and opal. Her legs were crossed under her dress, which had a skirt that was made up of an excessive amount of silver fabric. It draped over her legs and onto the floor like a waterfall. In her hand, she held her obsidian staff with its ammolite orb sitting at its peak. Her throne room was spacious, obsidian walls and floor, ingrained with other precious stones. The great black doors opened and let a small orb of light to float into the room. Behind it, a boy with black hair and round glasses followed. The glowing orb stopped in front of Queen Kara and grew to normal, human size in a flurry of sparkles. The sparkles dissipated and a man stood there dressed in greens and purples. Huge white wings sprouted from his back. A shaft of sunlight peeked through one of the tall windows and shone on his wings, making them refract rainbows along the veins. Rainbow sparkles fell from the wings and disappeared at his feet. The dark haired boy stopped behind him. 

“Milady,” said the man, bowing low. The boy behind him bowed  
as well.  
“Rise,” said Kara. “What is it?”

“We have captured the Prophet, like you asked,” he said.

“Good. Matt, I want you to go interrogate him. Get him to answer these questions,” she said, handing the man a scroll. “And Harry, you stay behind. I have a mission for you.”

“Yes, milady,” said Harry, the dark haired boy. He bowed, his heart rate picking up at the notion of being in a room alone with the Mistress. 

“Now, go! Do as I said!” Kara waved Matt out. 

“Milady, no disrespect intended, but I’m not sure that I’m best equipped to interrogate someone,” said Matt, looking nervous. 

“Did I say you could speak?!” she yelled. Matt flinched and shook his head. “That’s what I thought. Now go!”

A cyclone of rainbow glitter swirled and Matt was once again the size of an acorn. He fled the room, his glowing aura floating out the door. Harry stayed behind.

“Now, Harry,” she said. “Kneel before me.”

Harry did as he was told and knelt at her feet. 

“There’s someone I need to get in touch with. The princess of the Pirate Kingdom. Princess Paris. We go way back, and she owes me a favor. I want you to go to the Pirate Kingdom and talk to her. I would very much like her services in aiding me with finding this so called ‘Chosen One’ and killing them. I assume she is capable of doing that. If she has any problems, tell her to come to me directly with them. Got it?”

“Yes milady,” said Harry. 

“Go immediately!” she yelled. Harry got up and scurried out of the room. As soon as Harry was out of the room, he let out a huge breath of relief, his shoulders sagging. Then he looked around the hall before running off. 

The first place he stopped at was his room. He lived near the Queens wizard. As the great wizard’s apprentice, Harry did almost everything with him. But this time, he looked around to make sure the old man was nowhere to be seen. He went into his room and locked his door behind him. He grabbed a backpack and stuffed it full of supplies. Then he packed enough food for two people. His next stop was tricky. He snuck down into the dungeons and moved silently through the halls. He found the hall he was looking for and waited in the shadows, listening for any voices. He heard none, so he ran to the cell. 

“Kevin,” he whispered, grabbing the bars. The boy in the cell, sat against the opposite wall. When he saw Harry, he sat up and ran over. 

“Harry!” he said. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m getting you out,” Harry said. Kevin was the profit, and since Harry and Matt had captured him, he and Harry had become close friends. Harry even thought that he may have had feelings for Kevin, however small. “We’re going to the Pirate Kingdom and then we’re not coming back.”

“Harry, what if we get caught?” asked Kevin. 

“We won’t. I got Matt to help us get out,” he said. He took out his wand and pointed it at the lock on the door. “Alohamora!”

The door unlocked and swung open. Kevin rushed into Harry’s arms and Harry caught him in an embrace. Then they hurried down the hall and found the secret exit that Matt had told Harry of. 

Steve’s eyes fluttered open and he sat up. He yawned and stretched his arms over his head. He threw off the covers and went to the window. 

Steve sat, looking out the window at the meadow that surrounded his tower. The tower was hidden deep in the woods and Steve had never set foot out there. His stepmother had always told him that he was forbidden from going outside, so Steve had stayed, locked away. But today was his eighteenth birthday and he wanted it to be a special one. Living in the tower his whole life, Steve never had much to do besides reading, and he read plenty of romances. He loved his romance novels. Some of his favorites were Master of Desire, One Night with a Cowboy, Lovespell, Ripe for Seduction, and Defy Not the Heart. But those were just a few. Steve had always dreamed of finding true love, and now that he was eighteen, he hoped that he could soon find it. 

Tweet tweet tweet! Three bluebirds flew over and landed on Steve’s windowsill. One was a baby and was still learning how to fly. 

“Good morning bluebirds!” Steve said cheerily. He held out a hand and the baby bird hopped onto his finger. He sighed. “It’s finally my eighteenth birthday. Perhaps I’ll be able to go outside today?” 

The bird chirped in response. He sighed again and the three birds flew away. He stood up from the window and went to his wardrobe. Opening it up, he looked at his clothes. They all looked the same…Just the same old Homestuck, Sun Bros, and Frozen Olaf t-shirts. And of course the oversized plaid shirt that he wore over everything. He got out of his pajamas and slipped on his plaid pajama pants, his Sun Bros shirt, and his plaid button up. It all clashed horribly, but he didn’t care. If he ever met his true love, they shouldn’t love him for what he wore. 

Squeak squeak! Three mice ran from the hole in the wall and went to Steve. He knelt down and smiled. The three mice scurried around and then stopped and looked up at him. 

“Good morning Abergavenny. Good morning Limoges. Good morning Tybalt.”

The mice squeaked in response. Steve smiled and stood. He picked up his newest romance novel, The Highlander’s Forbidden Bride, and opened it to the page he marked. 

“If it were possible for her to cry, Carissa would have, but to protect herself she had not shed a tear since she was very young. She had rarely shown kindness, so when it was shown to her, it touched her heart though none believed she had one.”

A sound from outside the tower made Steve look up in surprise. It was voices! He set down the book and ran to the window.


	31. Prophecy of Heroes Pt 2 (Disney AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Father Parpar

Castiel, Ezri, Sam, and Dean ran through the forest. Kara’s scouts had caught up with them and took them by surprise, so they ran for their lives. The path split and the group separated. Castiel and Dean went one way, and Sam and Ezri went another. Dean and Castiel ran until they were sure they weren’t being followed anymore. They slowed to a stop and caught their breath. 

“I think we lost them,” said Castiel. But then a twig snapped in the wood and they both froze. 

“Cas, over here,” Dean whispered, pulling Castiel by his sleeve. They went and hid behind a curtain of vines and leaves. Now in the safety of the covered alcove, they caught their breath. They looked at each other in the darkness and it gave Castiel a moment to consider what had happened. The nickname Dean had used had taken him by surprise. No one had ever given him a nickname before. He decided he liked the name Cas. 

“Cas, look,” Dean was bent down looking at the back of the alcove. Cas looked and saw that there was a small opening that was covered by a fake bush. They went through and found themselves in a beautiful meadow. Wildflowers grew and swayed in the gentle breeze. In the center of the meadow stood a tower. Dean and Cas stepped into the meadow, looking around in awe. Then, Dean did something that surprised Cas. He ran out into the grass and flowers then fell to the ground and rolled, disappearing into the tall grasses. Cas caught up with him and found him lying in the grass, looking up at the clouds. Cas stood over him, casting a shadow over his face. Dean looked at him and smiled.

“I’ve always wanted to do that,” he said. 

Cas huffed a laugh and sat down next to him. He wondered if his sister was okay. She was probably fine. Kara’s scouts were kind of dumb and Cas knew that Ezri could take care of herself. Plus, she had a prince to keep her company. He couldn’t figure out why, but he trusted Sam and Dean, even though they had just met.

Dean didn’t show any signs of getting up anytime soon, so Cas laid down next to him, his hands going behind his head. There were few clouds in the sky that day, it was mostly warm and sunny. A gentle breeze blew through the grass and ruffled Cas’s hair. He looked over at Dean and was met with vibrant green eyes. Dean smiled and kept looking at Cas, so Cas kept looking back, counting the freckles that spilled across Deans face. 

Cas quickly got lost in Deans eyes and they laid there like that for a while. But just then, something caught Cas’s eye behind Dean. Something moved in the window of the tower. He looked at the window and narrowed his eyes. Dean followed his gaze and looked in that direction. 

“I thought I saw something move up there,” said Cas. Dean looked at him again. 

“We should go check it out,” said Dean, an excited grin pulling at his lips. 

“What if it’s an axe murderer? And we go in there and they chop us all up?”

“I doubt it,” said Dean. Just as he got up, Cas following, they heard voices across the meadow. Ezri and Sam were emerging from the alcove and making their way towards them. 

“Castiel!” Ezri ran to him and they met in an embrace. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, are you?”

“Yes. We lost the scouts. They won’t be following us for a while.”

“Good,” said Cas. 

“Whoa, look at that tower,” said Sam, squinting up at the tower. 

“Yeah, Cas said he saw something move in the window,” said Dean. “I think we should go check it out.”

“Oooh! We should!” said Ezri, nudging Cas. They all walked around the tower, but didn’t find anything as they got back to the front. Finally, they found footholds in the front of the tower up the wall. They led to the window. The four of them all climbed up. They got to the window and climbed through one at a time. Inside, it was dark, but the candle was still smoking as if it was just blown out. They looked around but there was no one to be found. 

“Hey, who’s here?” Sam called out.

“I bet it’s the axe murderer,” Cas whispered to Dean. 

Dean chuckled and said, “Let’s hope not.”

Something fell from a balcony and landed loudly on the ground. Sam approached it and picked it up. It was a trashy romance novel. Sam looked at it and his face contorted into confusion and disgust. 

“The Highlander’s Forbidden Bride?” Sam scowled. He showed the others the cover, where a scene was depicted of a tan, muscular man in a kilt holding a woman in an unbuttoned white dress, her blonde hair blowing in the wind. Ezri snorted, Cas knitted his eyebrows and tilted his head. Dean burst out laughing. He was laughing so hard that he was bent over, hands on his knees, wiping tears from his eyes. 

“Hey! It’s not funny! That’s a good book!” a voice shouted from the shadows. Dean stopped laughing and they all looked in the direction of the balcony. A boy stepped out into the light and lifted his head. “That is a serious book about heartache and true passion. It’s beautiful.”

“Ummm, sure…” Sam said. 

“Who are you people and what are you doing here?” the boy scoffed. 

They all introduced themselves and Steve stepped out into better light. The four of them all gasped when they saw him. Brown hair, glasses, tall, plaid shirt with clashing plaid pajama pants? He looked just like…..

“The Chosen One!” said Ezri.

“From the Prophecy!” finished Sam. 

Steve looked at them all in confusion. The Chosen One? What were they talking about? he thought. 

“What are you guys talking about?” asked Steve. 

“You’re the Chosen One!” said Ezri. 

“The one destined to become a great hero!” said Sam. 

“Me? I mean, I always knew I was kind of different, but…a great hero?” said Steve, imagining himself as a great hero. He pictured himself holding up a mighty sword…a mighty sword of truth…just like the one from… “The dream I had…” he whispered. Little did Steve know, he had a dream the night the prophecy was first spoken. A dream of becoming a great hero and slaying an evil ruler. He gasped lightly and looked up at the four visitors. “I am the great hero, aren’t I?” 

They nodded. 

“My step mother would never allow me to leave the tower though. How will I be able to join you?” he asked. 

“Well, I don’t see your step mother anywhere,” said Dean, looking around. And sure enough there were no step mothers to be seen. Steve nodded. 

“Alright,” he said. “What do I need to do?”

“Well, in the prophecy, it said you need to find the Sword of Truth. It’s the only weapon on earth that can kill the evil sorceress,” said Ezri. 

“The sword that I saw in my dream!” said Steve, finally putting all the pieces together. “In my dream, the sword was stolen by some pirates. I don’t remember everything about it, but I remember the name of the ship. It was called the USS Enterprise.”

“I’ve heard of that ship!” said Dean. “It’s one of the ships in the Pirate Princess’s armada.”

“So we need to go to the Pirate Kingdom,” said Sam. 

The five heroes left the tower and began their journey to the Pirate Kingdom. The road was dangerous but within a few days, they made it there. 

The walls of the kingdom were made from gigantic tree trunks all strapped together to form one giant fence. The five heroes approached the door and knocked. The peephole slid open to reveal one big eye. 

“Who dares to enter Princess Paris’s domain?” he grumbled in a deep voice. 

“We’re just  
some weary travelers looking for hospitality,” said Dean.  
“What’s the password?” asked the man. 

“Uhh…” Dean blinked and looked at the others. They all shrugged but Steve stepped up, remembering something from his dream.

“Is the password, Jiggly Krust?” he asked. The man narrowed his eye and slid the door shut. Then he opened the gate and the heroes stepped inside. The man who they had been talking to turned out to be a nine foot tall Cyclopes. As they walked the streets of the Pirate Kingdom, they looked around at the setting. None of them, save for Dean, had ever been in this town. Businesses lined the streets and people stood on balconies that jutted from second floors. Wires ran above the street, crisscrossing and hung with lanterns. Pirates and bar wenches hooted and hollered in a drunken party throughout the street. Barrels of rum sat stacked against the walls. One man stumbled into their path, a mug sloshing with rum, and he tripped on his own feet. He fell and the five of them had to step over the slumbering man. 

They finally found the main house, all the way by the docks: Paris’s Mansion. It was huge and white. There was a circle drive and a fountain in the center spraying rum. All the trees were filled with paper lanterns. Behind the house, the bay glittered with more partiers. Ships were docked at the planks. 

The lights were on inside and the five stepped up to the front door. Dean grasped the scarab beetle door knocker and knocked. The door swung open and a maid let them in. 

“Here to see Princess Paris?” she asked.

“Yes,” said Dean. 

“Right this way,” she led them all the way through the house to the very back into a large room. In the center of the room was a long table covered in maps and loot. A globe sat in the center of the table. The chandelier that hung above the table dripped wax from the hundred candles that lit the dim room. 

At the back of the room, Princess Paris sat atop a throne made entirely of a pile of loot. Somehow, it looked incredibly comfortable, as Paris was lounging on it. Paris had her arms draped over the shoulders of two people. Under one arm was an extravagantly dressed man with handsome, vaguely Arabic features. Under the other arm was a woman wearing more jewelry than clothes. She had red hair that draped down her body and to the floor. 

Paris herself was dressed in a short, ruffly skirt and high, strappy boots that were folded over at the top. Around her waist, she wore too many belts and buckles to count. They held a sword and several guns and knives. She wore a long coat, the front lined with gold buttons and the sleeves ended in plumes of lace and frills. Her fingers were decorated with many rings and jewels. Under her coat was a red corset fastened with buckles down the front. Her strawberry blonde locks fell over her shoulders and partially covered her feather and bone earrings that adorned her ears. Atop her head was a large, wide brimmed hat decorated with plumes of colorful feathers that spilled over the rim. Her red lips were quirked into a smile and her blue eyes sparkled with amusement. 

She smiled wider when she set eyes on Dean. 

“Dean.” She addressed him. “You just get prettier every time I see you.”

“Likewise,” said Dean, trying to hide his nervousness as he glanced around the room. 

“What can I do for you?” she asked. 

“We have with us the Chosen One from the Prophecy. He’s hunting the legendary Sword of Truth and we hear that one of your Captains is in possession of it.” He explained. 

“Hmm… Dean, Dean, Dean,” she tsked and shook her head. “You know I can’t say no to you. I know about the sword. Here, how does this sound: I’ll call in Captain Kirk and have him bring the sword. Then we can all negotiate our terms.” 

“Sound’s good,” said Dean. 

Paris smiled and lifted her arms away from the two people. She stood, her heeled boots clicking on the floor. 

“Good,” she said. She sauntered over to Dean and dragged a hand along his face and jaw on her way past. Then she walked to the double doors and opened one. She stuck her head out and said something to someone outside. Then she closed the door and went back to her treasure throne and sat down, throwing her arms back around the man and woman. Silence fell about the room for a moment until the doors opened and two people strode into the room. One was a man in a long gold colored coat. The other man was tall and slim with dark hair. His coat was blue. The yellow coated man held a long sword sheathed in a glittering scabbard. The two men stopped in front of Paris. They bowed and Paris nodded her head back.

“Everyone, this is Captain James T. Kirk and Lieutenant Spock,” Paris introduced them. “Captain, Lieutenant, this is Princes Dean and Sam of the Winchester Kingdom. They have with them the Chosen One and they’re looking for the Sword of Truth. I trust you have it with you, Captain?” 

“I have it right here, your majesty,” said Kirk, holding up the sword. 

“Good. Let’s all take a seat at the table, why don’t we,” said Paris. She stood and took her seat at the head of the table. Kirk place the sword onto the table when he sat. 

“So, you want the sword?” said Kirk. “Which one of you is the Chosen One?”

“I am.” Said Steve. He took a good look at the Captain’s face for the first time and was hit with a bucket of emotions. Steve’s vision went pink and unfocused around the edges and he saw nothing but the face of the Captain. Butterflies exploded in his gut, making him light headed. He could feel the heat rise to his face but he didn’t bother trying to hide it. If this is what true love felt like, why should he hide it? He could tell by the Captain’s expression that he was thinking the exact same thing. 

Kirk blinked and cleared his throat. “What can you give me in exchange for this sword?” he asked, shifting in his seat. 

“I don’t have very much,” said Steve. “All I have is my favorite book, One Night With a Cowboy.” Steve pulled the novel out of his pack and Kirk’s eyes widened. 

“That’s my favorite book too!” said Kirk, not believing his eyes. He looked back into those distracting eyes and decided to take a chance. “Keep your book, Cherry Pie. I think I’ll lend you this sword. I’ll let you borrow it. That way, after you finish your quest, you’ll have an excuse to see me again.”

Steve blushed and felt the butterflies return. “I think that sounds like a good plan,” he said. 

Kirk smiled a warm smile. 

Just then, the doors burst open and three people came in. One was a house servant. One was a dark haired boy with round glasses and the other was an Asian boy. The servant handed Paris a note and she opened it right away. She read it and narrowed her eyes. Dean watched as her jaw clenched and she flicked her eyes up at Steve, then back to the note. She hurriedly placed a neutral expression on her face then set the note down. Her eyes darted around at her guests and she tapped her finger on the table. She stood up abruptly and went to the door. 

“Excuse me,” she said with a tight smile. “I’ll be right back.”

She went out of the room and was gone for a while but came back within a few minutes…along with pirate soldiers.

“Capture all of the guests!” Paris ordered.


	32. Prophecy of Heroes Pt 3 (Disney AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Father Parpar

The dungeon was dark and wet. Ezri sat on the barrel that lay in the back of the cell and watched Sam pace back and forth. The pirates had put everyone in pairs in the cells. 

“Sam, just sit down,” she said. “There’s nothing we can do.”

Sam huffed and put his hands on his hips. “I can’t believe this happened,” he said. “What are we going to do now?”

“I don’t know,” said Ezri. She fumbled with the hem of her skirt. She worried about her brother. Sam sat down on the barrel next to Ezri. 

Over the course of their journey so far, Ezri hadn’t known what to make of Sam, of all of them. Dean she felt close with, comfortable. Castiel was obviously her brother, and Steve was…Steve. But Sam felt different. Ezri felt as though she had known him for her whole life, but she got the vibe that she should be mad at him for some reason. She felt…jealous. But there was no reason for her to be jealous! It was absurd. Still, the feeling remained, no matter how many times she reasoned with herself. Finally, sitting there, she came to the realization that Sam must be betrothed to someone, being a prince and all. 

“Sam, are you betrothed to someone?” she asked quite abruptly, an uncomfortable idea forming n her head. She was afraid to get the answer but she didn’t know why. Surely, she doesn’t have feelings for him, right? But when she looked at him, she felt her heart flutter.

“I am,” he said. “Princess JJ.”

Ezri felt her heart stutter and she looked away to hide her rather sudden rush of emotions. 

“Why do you ask?” he said. 

“Just curious,” she said quietly. She looked down at her hands in her lap. She was suddenly very sad, which was absurd. She hardly knew him that long, she shouldn’t be upset about this. But she was. 

As she mulled over this, she began getting faint memories of things that didn’t make much sense. Like maybe this wasn’t her role in life…wasn’t she a……….a spirit guide. She was a spirit guide assigned to the Winchester brothers. This was a curse! But she wasn’t supposed to interfere. Which meant she definitely wasn’t supposed to have feelings for the brothers, other than the love she already held. But she looked over at Sam again and she felt the same fluttering feeling in her chest. You aren’t supposed to feel this way about him! She scolded herself. This wasn’t supposed to happen and she was angry at herself for it, but what was she to do? 

She knew exactly what she was going to do. She would bury these distracting feelings and do her job, that’s what. Besides, Sam had JJ. Even in this universe he had her. There was no place for Ezri.

All of a sudden, the top of their cell opened up in a starry burst and a figure came down, landing before Ezri and Sam. It was the great Zebra Goddess, Colleen! She was in her human form and was wearing a flowing dress that was neon green zebra print. 

“My children,” she said in her angelic voice. “It seems you are in a jam.” 

“Colleen!” Sam and Ezri said simultaneously as they stood up. 

“I’m going to help you out of this jam,” said Colleen. “Queen Kara the Malevolent has captured my husband, Matt, and forced him to work for her. She has angered me for the last time and I want to see you succeed in your quest against her. Therefore, I’m helping you escape. I’m going to go unnoticed and give Captain Kirk an idea. He’s going to get you out of here then. All of you, because he was destined be a member of this quest.”

“Oh, merciful one! How can we ever repay you?” asked Sam. 

“By defeating Kara and freeing my husband. That will be payment enough,” she said. 

They thanked her and she disappeared from sight just as they heard footsteps approach the cell. Captain Kirk came into view and Sam and Ezri watched as Colleen appeared behind him. She transformed into her true form. Her long tongue came out and she licked Kirk from his butt to the top of his head. Green sparkles danced about his eyes as Colleen disappeared. Kirk shook the sparkles from his eyes and blinked. When his eyes refocused on his task, he pulled a ring of keys from his pocket.

“I’m getting you out,” he said, unlocking the cell and leading them down to the other cells. He found the one with Steve in it, along with Harry and Kevin. Steve rushed to the bars as soon as he saw Kirk. 

“You came for me!” he said. Kirk held his hands over the bars and brought his forehead to Steve’s.

“Of course. The moment I saw you, I knew we must be meant for each other,” said Kirk. “But quiet now, I’m going to help you escape.”

He unlocked the cell and Steve rushed into Kirk’s arms, who held him. They went to the last cell which held Castiel and Dean, and they all snuck out through the back door of the dungeon. Kirk and the rest snuck through the halls until they stopped in front of a large painting of Princess Paris in a fabulous outfit and pose. 

“This is a secret passage that leads out of the kingdom,” explained Kirk. He pressed down on the plaque and the painting swung outwards like a door. A dark, stone tunnel lay beyond. They all went in, Kirk pulling the painting closed behind them. 

When they came out the other side, they found themselves in the woods. Kirk took the Sword of Truth from his belt and gave it to Steve. 

“I give you this sword,” he said. “May you be successful in defeating Queen Kara the Malevolent.” 

“May we,” said Steve, winking at Kirk. He smiled. 

And so they were off, finally on their way to the Great Mountain of Doom, Kara’s domain. 

Kara’s voice boomed across the throne room. 

“MAAAAATT!” she yelled. Kara was pacing back and forth in front of her throne. Matt hurried into the room and burst into his human size form in a flurry of rainbow sparkles halfway, running to Kara the rest of the way. He stopped and bowed. 

“MATT.” 

Matt flinched.

“Paris had those fools in her possession, AND THEY GOT AWAAAAYY!” she shot a bolt of fire from her staff and it hit a gargoyle around the ceiling, making it explode. “And if that weren’t enough, my wizard’s apprentice, Harry, ran off into the sunset with my prisoner!”

Matt flinched at her tone, his eyes wide and terrified. 

“I need you to use your fairy tracking skills to hunt them all down,” she said. “Bring me Harry and the Prophet. But leave the Chosen One to Paris. I know she’ll want to take care of him.”

“Yes, milady,” he said, his eyes cast downward. 

“And when you get them, bring them to meeee,” she said. Then she sighed and whistled loudly. A big, white owl flew into the room and landed on Kara’s arm. 

“Oh, Ashley,” said Kara, stroking the owl’s back. “You are the only one I can count on.”

“I know,” said Ashley sassily. 

“Now leave me, Matt,” said Kara. “Go do your duty.”

Matt left the room. 

All children of the land had been told the tales of the Great Mountain of Doom at bedtime for generations. In the legend, there is supposedly a race of giant spiders that live on the mountain. The stories are all rich with tales of great heroes falling at the hands of these spiders, but of course, it is all legend…right? 

So our heroes thought, as they began their trek up the mountain. The treacherous path was nothing compared to the fear that sat in their stomachs, dreading the possibility of truth behind those tales. 

But their fears weren’t enough to protect them when they began hearing branches snapping and leaves rustling in the depths of the wood. It could be anything, but the fear that was buried in the hero’s guts along with their fatigue from the journey would not let their minds rest. 

They went deeper into the wood, further up the mountain, until at last, they could see the black tower through the trees. But just as they were about to exit the forest, the trees shook around them and a huge black form fell onto the path before them. It rose to its feet and stood to its full height, the light shining behind it, revealing a giant silhouette of a spider! It crept closer to the heroes as they all drew their swords in preparation for battle. A deep, guttural whine escaped the beast, making the heroes cringe. But Steve unsheathed the Sword of Truth, letting a light dance from the blade. The giant spider was illuminated by the glow and it flinched away, screeching a horrible screech. Steve lifted the sword high, making the spider finally turn and run. The heroes looked at each other before they ran for the tower as fast as they could. They ran and leapt over logs and branches and they burst through the foliage, finally on the stone path up to the tower. 

They ran all the way up to the giant double doors. The doors loomed over them, tall and dark and looming. Kirk stepped up to the doors and prepared to knock when the door suddenly opened. A man stood on the other side staring back at them with wide eyes. He had large wings on his back that glistened with rainbows in the sunlight. 

Then, behind them, a twig snapped and they turned to find…Paris! She stopped and glared at them. 

“Well, well, well,” she said. “I track you for days and when I finally catch up, you’re here at the doorstep of my client. And Dean.” She turned to face him. “I expected better of you. You never once thought I was tracking you. I thought you were a better hunter than that. It matters not. When I finish with the Chosen One, I’m taking my Captain back…along with you, hot stuff. You’re gonna be my new boy toy, and the Captain here is gonna get the punishment of a lifetime.”

She unsheathed her rapier and pointed it at Steve. 

“Now, come at me!” she said with a mad grin.

Steve bravely stepped up to Paris, but Kirk caught his shoulder. 

“Wait, Cherry Pie,” he said. “Are you sure you want to do this? Paris is too good. I’ve seen her in battle before, she’s a savage. You’re no match for her.”

“Don’t worry Kirk, I know what I’m doing,” said Steve. 

“Fine, then at least let me give you a good luck gift,” Kirk said. He leaned in and pressed his lips to Steve’s. Steve leaned into the kiss, never wanting it to end. But they broke apart when Paris started making gagging sounds behind them. Steve looked at her.

“Enough of this gross lovey dovey stuff,” she said. “Let’s get on with it.”

Paris and Steve stood across from one another, both holding their swords ready. The Sword of Truth shook in Steve’s trembling hands. But he felt confident in his plan to fight Paris. 

They began, their weapons parrying off one another. Paris was skillful in her dance across the clearing, her rapier moving swiftly and surely against Steve’s larger and heavier sword. She swiped and dodged expertly against every attack Steve attempted. The fight continued on for a while until Steve began getting weary. The sword drooped in his hands, but Paris kept going. She didn’t even look out of breath. Steve’s movements started to slow down and Paris took this as her chance. She lunged and swiped at Steve’s chest. 

Time seemed to slow down for Kirk. Paris swiped her rapier across Steve’s chest and opened his flesh. Steve stopped and dropped his sword. He fell to his knees as Paris smiled maniacally and stepped away. 

“Noooooooo!!!” Kirk ran to Steve’s side, his legs not carrying him fast enough. When Kirk looked up into Paris’s eyes and saw the madness behind her smile, rage filled his entire being. He stood and lunged at her, but she easily dodged and ran away, back into the woods. She disappeared within seconds and Kirk could do nothing. He went back to Steve’s side. Blood poured from his wound and there was no stopping it. Kirk held Steve in his arms, cradling him gently. 

“Step aside,” a voice pushed through the ringing in Kirk’s ears. “I said move, before it’s too late.”

Kirk looked up and saw the fairy who opened the door. He knelt down by Steve. 

“Move, I can help him,” he said. Kirk nodded and set Steve down. He stood and wiped away the tears he hadn’t known had fallen. 

The man put both hands over Steve’s wound. A glowing light emitted from his hands and pooled around the wound. Kirk watched in awe as the light closed the wound, the blood sucking back into his body. Soon, there was nothing more than a slash in Steve’s shirt, smooth flesh underneath. The man stood up.

“Who are you?” asked Kirk. 

“My name is Matt,” he said. “I’m here to help you. We need to defeat the queen.”

Matt led the heroes along with a rejuvenated Steve up the stairs of the tower, all the way to the throne room. He opened the doors and strode into the room fearlessly. The heroes followed close behind. 

Kara sat in her throne looking especially fabulous, a look of amusement on her face. Her lips smirked into a grin when she saw Matt. 

“I’ve had enough of your tyranny!” said Matt. “I won’t take it anymore!” 

“Oh Matt,” she said. “I don’t recall you having a choice in the matter.”

She whistled and Ashley swooped down from the ceiling and dropped something. Kara caught it. She held up a green orb and Matt’s eyes widened. Rainbow dust swirled around inside the orb, mistily dancing around in spirals of smoke. She stood and fondled the orb, tossing it from hand to hand. 

“Remember this? That’s right, I have your soul. If you betray me, I can destroy you,” she said. “That’s not what you were doing, was it?”

“I-I…wha…” 

“Because, I thought for a moment that you were betraying me! Haha! How silly of me, you would never do that, right?”

Matt, didn’t say anything, only looked at her, his eyes narrowed. 

“That’s what I thought. Now, bring. Me. The. Prophet. And his. Boyfriend.”

Matt lowered his head. For a moment, the heroes thought he was going to do as she said, but then he turned and lunged at her. They tackled each other to the ground. 

“Get her!” Matt yelled at Steve. Steve pulled his sword out and ran at them, but Kara kicked Matt off of her and stood. Ashley swooped down and kicked the sword out of Steve’s hands. Kara snatched up her staff and hit it against the ground. A wave of power sent everyone in the room tumbling to the floor. 

“That’s enough!” she shouted. “I set a curse on you all, to shrivel into your own bodies until death is upon you!” 

She raised her staff and swirled it in a circular motion above her head. Purple mist trailed from the end of the staff and made a whirlpool of power above Kara. She stopped moving her staff and stuck the end of it into the center of the whirlpool. The purple mist fell around her and spread across the floor. Everyone fell to their knees in agony, the mist curling up their insides. The only two that weren’t affected was Sam and Ezri. 

They ran to their friends in hopes of helping them, but there was no stopping the curse. 

Matt stood on wobbly legs and attempted to attack Kara, but she struck him down with a backhand slap to the face. As he lay there, a light shone from above and a figure fell to the ground, landing gracefully between Matt and Kara. 

Colleen stood, her face fierce. 

“No one lays a hand on my husband except me!” she said, her voice booming through the room. Kara’s eyes widened in fear for the first time. Colleen then exploded in a great burst of white light, making everyone look away. When the light faded, there stood Colleen in her natural form…the Green Zebra. 

Kara shot a bolt of purple energy out of her staff at Colleen, but Colleen opened her mouth. A green stream of energy erupted from her, colliding with Kara’s in the center of the room. Where their two forces met, there was a burst of white light. 

“Tell us how to break the curse!” Colleen ordered.

“Never!”

“I said… TELL US HOW TO BREAK THE CURSE!” she ordered again. 

“True love! True love is the only thing that can break the curse!”

“Sam, Ezri, break the curse!” said Colleen. 

Sam and Ezri looked at each other, panicked. 

“How?” asked Ezri. “We’re not…He’s not…”

“Kiss!” Colleen yelled.

“Ezri, she’s right!” said Sam.

“But Sam… I can’t, I’m not-“

“Ezri, you are the only one I love! I had fun with JJ and I may be betrothed to her in this universe, but you are the one I love.”

“But it isn’t my place! I can’t come between you and other potential partners! It’s against the rules, it isn’t my job-“

“Ezri, Cas broke just about every rule in heaven just for Dean. He gave up everything for him, and he still is able to return now. Why can’t we have the same thing they have?” Sam pleaded with her. 

“Sam…” Ezri blinked away tears, then rushed to him. He caught her in his arms. “Sam, how do you know this will work?”

“Just trust me,” he said. He took her face in his hands and leaned down, their lips crashing together. Ezri felt her arms lock around Sam’s neck by themselves, lacing her fingers in his hair. They deepened the kiss, their lips moving in sync with each other, their bodies slotted together perfectly.

When they broke apart, they looked around and the purple mist faded away and everyone was healed and back to normal. 

“NOOOO!” Kara screeched. “I WILL NOT BE DEFEATED!”

Kara jabbed her staff harder and her purple light burst through the barrier, hitting Colleen square in the chest. Colleen flew backwards and hit the wall. Then she slammed her staff on the ground and a huge crack split the floor. The crack grew, splitting the stone and spreading to the heroes. They watched in horror as there was nowhere left to run. 

The crack got bigger and bigger until they all fell into it, plummeting into the darkness and into another world…


	33. What Actually Happened Was… (Real Life AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Professor Ashlex

It was a normal Thursday night, and everyone had shown up for dance, which made Ashley very happy. They had been working hard all night, sweat dripping to the floor, faces red, breathing heavy from the beating they were all getting from Ashley. 

“And Again!” Ashley yelled. “And turn 2, 3, 4, step, step, pivot, and pivot!” Ashley shouted with gusto, “Steve! What are you doing!? Gacé turn the music off!!” Ashley said in a pissed tone. 

“I know, I know. I’m sorry.” Steve said with a sad look on his face.

“Steve, you know it. Just do it! And Jake, seriously?”

“What?” Gacé asked in a snarky tone

“Stop being a smart ass and just dance. You’re pissing me off!” Ashley yelled. “You guys need to start looking like you give a shit! IT’S MARCH! Just…. Just take a break.” Ashley said as she walked up the stairs with an irritated sigh to calm herself before rejoining them. 

They all sat around in an awkward silence, the only sound was of Kara sipping water and the hiss from a Mount dew bottle.

“Guys, I am really excited for this weekend!” Matt said in a giddy fashion. 

“Why, what are you doing that’s so special?” Steve asked in a condescending voice.

“Um, I’m going to see the Cinderella movie with my Baes!” Matt said so matter-of-fact.

Gacé threw a bouncy ball at Steve to show him that he messed up. “God Steve, why you gotta be like that!” 

“Yeah Steve! Get on our level.” Paris said sassily.

“Oh well excuse me.” Steve said backing off. Just then Ashley skipped down the steps, almost gliding down. 

“Hey, Umm, weird question? Has anyone else been having weird dreams lately, like really weird?” Ashley asked, almost not wanting to.

“Actually, yeah I have,” said Kara in an uneasy voice. “Like, they have to do with Supernatural, but not really, just Sam and Dean.”

“Mine too, and I don’t even watch Supernatural!” said Ashley.

“Mine have Harry Potter in them!” said Matt.

“And they are all in different places?” Kaia said almost in a whisper.

“Yes!” They all said in unison, they all stared at each other with unease. It was like they were in an episode of the Twilight Zone. They all started to freak out. What was happening? What did they eat?

“Not to be weird but, some of mine have, ummm. How do I put this nicely? Very intimate scenes of Steve and Captain Kirk from Star Trek.” Ashley said looking down trying not to make eye contact with Steve. Or really anyone for that matter for fear of judgment.

“Yeah, so do mine!” shouted Steve, rubbing his butt check. “Last night I had one, I don’t remember all the details, but there was Captain Kirk as Christian Grey from Fifty Shades of Grey, and I was a girl fighting off these other girls, and there was a sex dungeon. I don’t know man.”

Everyone went quiet and just stared at Steve perplexed. Kaia opened her mouth as to say something but backed off at the last second. Gacé and Ashley shared an uneasy look, and Matt just got up to walk away. 

“Well,” Paris began, trying to break the awkwardness.

“Yeah…. What a night.” said Kara, uneasy.

“You guys are weird,” the Zebra Goddess, aka Colleen, chimed in. “I only dream about blue pools of water that I jump through.”

“That’s it Colleen. I’m putting a threat in the threat box!” said Matt sassily.

“I’ll just divorce you again,” Colleen said with a smile.

“Okay, okay, everyone calm down!” shouted Ashley. “I’m just kidding, I don’t care what you do. Everyone take a couple more minutes.” 

Well, a couple minutes turned into ten more minutes. And by that point no one wanted to move. They all sat talking nonsense, what they were doing over the weekend, their crazy teachers from school, Ashley found a way to throw a sex ed lesson in there. All was good with the world until, “WHY DON’T I HEAR ANY MUSIC!?” Oh no! Mozy was on to them.

“Quick, everyone in their spots.” Ashley said in a panic. They all rushed to their spots franticly, practically tackling each other to get there. Just then they heard Mozy coming down the steps. “Have you guys been working at all today?”

“Yeah, I was just cleaning them up a little.” Ashley said not making eye contact hoping that she wouldn’t see through her lies. 

However, there was no fooling Mozy. “You lie. I know you too well,” Mozy said, laughing. “Show me something new, come on.”

“Ummmm, how about Matts’ dance. No mirror this time. That’s new.” Said Kara, saving all of our asses. 

“Okay. Do It!” Ashley “leapt” to the iPod to start the music “Everybody ready? Aaaannnnd go!” Ashley dashed to the front to spectate. Matt stood with one hand over his stomach the other resting on his chin. “This is looking good Matt.” Ashley said like a proud mentor. 

“Yeah Matt, I didn’t expect this from you,” said Mozy, proudly. “Not like you didn’t have it in you but, it’s such a deep song. It’s really beautiful.”

“Oh thanks guys,” Matt said, grinning ear to ear and glowing with pride. The song ended and everyone stood waiting for the constructive criticism. “Matt, what do you have to say about it.”

“Ummm, Stronger arms from everyone. Steve, you’re still turning the wrong way. Yeah, that’s it.” Matt ordered.

“Okay. Good, let’s run Poison/Toxic/Problem straight through before I let you go! Ready boys?” Ashley asked with excitement.

“Yes!” Everyone yelled at the same time. The music boomed through the basement, the boys dance with all their might, tearing the floor to shreds. They left everything on the floor. As the last note rang out steam rose from the floor. Ashley went over to the iPod to start the next song. She turned around to see if everyone was ready but was drawn to the costume closet. Something was stirring from inside.

“What are you looking at”? asked Kara. 

Ashley didn’t answer, she only stared at the door. Something inside was beckoning her to it and she started to inch toward it. “Ashley, are you okay?” Kaia asked confused and a little scared. Ashley’s eyes were glassed over. Gacé tried to stop her and pull her back but to no avail. 

“Ashley! Stop!” shouted Steve.

“What’s in there!?” yelled Colleen. 

Ashley slowly started to open the door and swung it open at the last second. But there was nothing in there. “Well that was weird.” Ashley whispered to herself. She turned to see everyone looking at her terrified. “Everyone ready to dance?” As she walked back to the iPod she caught a glimpse of Steve’s face. “You okay? You look like you’re gonna throw up.”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I just had a weird feeling as you were opening that. I’m fine now.” Steve said with a sigh.

“Okay? Here we go.” Just as Ashley went to start the music, the lights went out and the closet door burst open. The room was then replaced with a bright green light coming from the closet, wind blowing around and around. Colleen turned into her natural form, a bright green zebra to protect them. Everyone stood waiting to see what was going to happen. Out of nowhere, a gang fell through the light tumbling to the floor. 

“What is going on!?” yelled Matt

“Oh my krust! It’s… IT’S….” Mozy fell to the floor in a ‘whoa is me’ way. It was Dean, Sam, Cas, Harry, and Kevin. 

“Where’s Kirk?!” Sam belted out 

“He was right behind me!” Kevin yelled back.

“We need him to open the next portal!” 

“Umm… Excuse me,” asked Gacé. “What’s going on?”

“Stay out of it, kid!” Cas yelled. He turned his head and locked eyes with Steve. “YOU! We’ve been looking everywhere for you!”

“What are you talking about? What do you mean you’ve been looking for me? Wait, am I dreaming again?!” Steve yelled out.

“You’re definitely not dreaming.” Kaia said staring at the eye candy in front of her. “I think it’s time to feed the dog.”

“Definitely,” said Kara and Paris in unison.

Just then, another figure fell through the portal. It was Captain Kirk. “Sorry guys. I was being chased down. I had to distract them.” He said trying to catch his breath. Just then, he turned to find Steve’s eyes, Steve’s hair blowing in the wind. “Cherry Pie!” Kirk said in disbelief. “I knew I would be with you again!”

“Ummm, What?” Said Steve embarrassed. “Isn’t that what he called me in the fanfiction?” 

Everyone nodded with wide eyed shock. Kirk walked over to Steve grabbing him by the shoulders, pulling him in for a kiss. It lasted for what seemed like forever, like time had stopped. Which made everyone very uncomfortable. It was still going on, let’s face it, it didn’t stop for some time, so long in fact that someone should have intervened. I’m just gonna fast forward. 

Sometime later

“Kirk!” Steve gasped out. Yes, he remembered! “But, how did you find me?”

“There’s no time to explain. We need to find a way out of here.” 

“Oh, I know how to get out of here.” Steve said looking at the Zebra Goddess.

“Yes,” Colleen said, standing on her hind legs. “You are here to defeat me. You must answer all my riddles correctly. And by all, I mean one.”

“That sounds reasonable. One riddle,” said Harry, confidently.

“Here are the rules: One, no magic. Two, no help from the Rhythm Fusions (that includes you Steve). And three, you will have 3 minutes to complete it. Do you agree to these rules?” 

They all looked at each other and nodded in agreement. 

“Sure,” Sam said. “Let’s do it.”

“Okay,” the Zebra Goddess took a deep breath and began. “If one plus one is two, and two plus two is four, then what is one plus two?”

“Is it three?” asked Kevin. 

“No. That’s too easy,” said Cas. “There’s got to be more to it.” *fades to Cas’s inner monolog* Numbers, why couldn’t I remember numbers. That was the day Dean got a new haircut, oh he was so cute, but what was on the board behind him? If one plus one is two, then one plus two is what? What was it… time was running out. One plus one is two, one plus two is… Fleek! *fades out of Cas’s inner monolog* “Fleek!” Cas yelled out. “The answer is Fleek!” 

Everyone just stared at him. Zebra Goddess nodded in approval, licked the mirror and opened a dark purple portal. 

“Let’s go!” said Harry, jumping through the portal. Kirk grabbed Steve’s hand and they disappeared. 

After they all went through the portal, the Rhythm Fusions just stood there, confused and a little disoriented. Colleen changed back to her human form, and Mozy finally came to.

“So,” Matt sighed. “Does this mean I have to retime everything?”


	34. Green Eggs and Sam (Dr. Seuss AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Luci

Dean woke up in a place

That was not quite the same

As the place before

Which all seemed so tame.

 

No Dean knew not

Where he was at

Dean wasn’t sure

And that was that.

 

He looked at his brother

Sam was his name

Him and Sam were in a place

That was not quite the same,

 

As they place they were once,

Which all seemed quite a bore

Dean thought he was ready

For whatever adventures were in store.

 

Dean woke up his brother

With a pat on the back

Dean woke Sam up

Pat, pat, pat.

 

“What?” said the brother

Rubbing sleep from his eyes

“I was having a dream

About these blue, blue, skies.”

 

 

“Now’s not the time!”

Dean said with a yell

“We are stuck in a place

We know not so well.”

 

Sam sat up with a jerk

And he looked all around

“Oh no,” he whispered,

“Where are we now?”

 

 

But Dean knew not

Where they were at

Dean wasn’t sure

And that was that.

 

“Well,” said Dean

As he looked all around

“I suppose we should find someone

Who knows this town.”

 

On the corner of the street

Dean saw a young man

“Hey!” said Dean, “I know the man

Sipping from the can!”

 

Sam and Dean ran over

Towards the young can man

“Excuse me, good sir!”

“Please help if you can!”

 

The man turned around

And he saw quite a sight

Two brothers, lost

They had taken a fright.

 

“Hello, who are you?”

Questioned the man

He looked at the brothers

Then took a sip from his can.

 

“I am Sam, this is Dean,”

The younger one said

“You have to help us!”

He added with a shake of his head.

 

The young man looked at Sam

Then said: “You look distressed

I will help you

If you think it is best.

 

“My name is Kevin

And I live in this town

I sure would be happy

To show you around.”

 

“Say, Sam,”

Said Dean, now quite confused

“This this all seem

Quite peculiar to you?

 

“I fear we are rhyming

A bit like Seuss.”

“No, that’s ridiculous,”

Said the moose.

 

“No, it’s true,

And it makes sense now

Sammy we have to

Get out of this town!

 

“Kevin, listen, it’s us

Dean and Sam.

This town isn’t real,

It’s all a big sham!

 

“Saurmon sent us here,

The dirty old fool,

He does not like us,

He thinks we aren’t cool.

 

“But we can show him

We just have to try,

We _will_ show him!”

“What’s that in the sky?”

 

Sam drew Dean’s attention

Away from his struggles

Into the sky

And onto the shuttle!

 

It was Cas! Hooray!

And he was flying the Impala!

He soared above their heads

Looking to cause some drama.

 

“Oh my!” yelled Dean

“Yay Cas! Way to go!

Soon we’ll be out of here

I just know!”

 

In the sky the car

Stopped with a jerk

Quickly it came tumbling

Back to the Earth!

 

“Baby!” yelled Dean

As he looked all around

“I knew there was something

Up with this town!”

 

Cas, however,

Landed the car with ease

Right next to Dean

Who he was aiming to please.

 

“Dean!” Cas said

“Oh look, Sam too!

Get in the car,

Come on Kevin, you too.”

 

The three of them

Piled into the back

When they discovered

People, it did not lack.

 

“Steve! Harry!

And look even Kirk!

I knew you would save us!”

Dean said with a smirk.

 

Cas started the engine

And away they all flew

With their rescuers

Who saved them out of the blue!

 

And where they were going?

Dean didn’t know that

No, Dean wasn’t sure

And that was that.


	35. Downtown Doldrums (20s/Ghost AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Father Parpar

1926\. Dean had just come home from a big case. Him and his team, Steve, Jimmy K., and Charlie, just busted a group of bootleggers who had a still at the old Thomas Farm. It was a case they’d been working on for a while. The men had given chase and Dean was exhausted from pursuing them through the fields. He poured himself a glass of whiskey and sat down on the couch.

               “Dammit!” he said as he sunk into the couch, his whiskey sloshing out onto his shirt. He usually remembered to sit on the right side of the couch, because the left side was missing its springs. Dean’s brother, Sam, had tried to convince him to get rid of the old couch when Dean was moving into this apartment, but it was hard getting rid of the couch that belonged to their late parents.

               Dean got up to turn on the radio and then sat down on the _right_ side of the couch. He thought about the new case he’d been given before he left the office that night. It was a murder that took place not too far from where he lived. They weren’t sure who the culprit was yet, they told him, but as soon as Dean looked at the crime scene photos, he knew exactly who it was.

               The victim was a man who looked to be about in his twenties, around the same age as Dean. He had dark hair and striking blue eyes. But the rest of him was a massacre. He was covered in stab wounds and he had the letter “A” carved into his chest.

               The exact same modus operandi as the person who killed Mary and John Winchester all those years ago.

               That case had gone cold years ago. But now, it was finally resurfacing.

               The phone rang, startling Dean out of his thoughts. He set his empty glass on the coffee table and got up.

               “Hello?” he answered.

               “I heard about the case,” it was Sam. “Charlie told me. How are you doing?”

               “Fine. I’m starting on it tomorrow. I’m going over to the crime scene in the morning,” he said.

               “Okay, well, keep me posted. I called to tell you that I’m having a dinner party this weekend. Ezri and I are having a few friends over. Will you be able to make it?” asked Sam.

               “Yeah, I’ll be there,” said Dean. He hung up. Sam and Ezri had just gotten married and they lived in a huge house. Of course they’d be able to afford that in the city of Chicago since Sam was a bigtime lawyer and Ezri was a successful painter. Dean wasn’t jealous or anything, but he would sometimes ponder what it would be like to live like that.

               The next day, Dean went to the crime scene bright and early. It was in the suite on the top floor of the building. Dean went under the police tape blocking to door and stepped inside. The body was gone but the blood still painted the walls and floor.

               Dean got right to work. He knew exactly what he was looking for. The last time the killer struck, he left a note somewhere in the house. It wasn’t found until years later. Dean began his search in the study, then moved to the bedroom, kitchen and bathroom. He ended up back in the study, having come up with nothing. He sat in the desk chair and rubbed a hand down his face.

               “Check the ceiling,” said a voice from behind him. Dean jumped out of the chair and whipped around. The first thing he noticed was the vibrant blue eyes and dark hair. It was the victim from the crime scene photos.

               The man narrowed his eyes. “Can you see me?” he asked.

               “Y-you’re supposed to be dead,” Dean gasped.

               “Obviously,” he said, rolling his eyes. “And I am. But for some reason, I’m still here.”

               “Your name is Castiel Novak, correct?”

               “Yes. And you are…?”

               “Detective Dean Winchester.”

               Ah. A detective. I was wondering why a random man was exploring my house. Then, detective, I’m assuming that you were looking for the letter. Check the ceiling.”

               Dean contemplated turning and running in terror, but decided that he’s seen stranger in his career. Also, Castiel didn’t seem to want to harm Dean. He just wanted to help. And Dean would use this help.

               He looked up at the ceiling. There was nothing to be seen at first, but then, upon further inspection, Dean noticed a small hole drilled into the ceiling, right by the light fixture. Castiel watched as Dean dragged a chair over and stood on it. He reached the ceiling and stuck a finger into the hole, searching for paper. He found it and pulled it out. It was rolled into a tight scroll. He got off the chair and unrolled the letter.

               It was handwritten and when Dean read what was written, his stomach dropped to his feet and the color drained from his face.

                _Dear Dean,_

_If you are reading this, then I have already returned to you. I’m not finished with my mission. Please know that I’m thinkin boutchu. Say hi to Sammy for me, will ya?_

_Sincerely,_

_A._

               Dean reread the note several times, holding it in his trembling hands.

               “Dean?”

               Dean jumped and looked at Castiel, who he had forgotten was there.

               “Are you alright?” he asked.

               “He knew I would be here. He knew I would find this note,” said Dean, his voice shaking.            

               “This man, he has a history with you, yes?”

               Dean could only nod as he sat down in the chair.

               “Then, I’m assuming that solving this case is a personal matter for you,” said Castiel. Dean nodded. “Well, it is for me now, too. Since I’m dead and everything. I’ll help you solve this.”

               Dean looked at Castiel. Maybe this was why he was still here on earth. This must have been his unfinished business. Dean nodded.

               “Do you remember what he looked like?” he asked.

               “No, he was wearing a mask. But he said something about leaving notes with my friends. I have a feeling I know which ‘friends’ he was talking about.”

               “And who would these ‘friends’ be?” asked Dean, getting out his notepad and pen.

               “I don’t think I should tell you, you being a cop and all.” Castiel said, narrowing his eyes.

               “If it’s something illegal, I won’t bust them. I just really need to find this guy,” said Dean.

               “Promise?”

               “I promise.”

               “How do I know you aren’t lying? You’re an untouchable after all,” said Castiel.

               “Cas! I promise! Finding this guy is more important than whatever it is your friends do,” said Dean.

               “When I was alive, I was the owner of a speakeasy. My ‘friends’ were my employees. We called ourselves a gang, but we weren’t actually a gang. We were just powerful enough to be taken seriously.” Said Castiel.

               “Where is it?”

               “It’s under the dance studio called Rhythm Fusion. A woman who goes by JJ runs the studio while I ran the speakeasy. Now that I’m dead, I’m assuming Paris took her place as new boss. Which means they’ll probably be even more powerful. The speakeasy was called The Bunker, but now that Paris is in charge, there’s no doubt she changed it to The Cocktail Lounge. If you meet her, I’m gonna warn you. She’s a classy lady, but she’s very dangerous. I’m surprised she waited as long as she did for me to die. Not that we didn’t like each other, in fact, we’ve had several flings in the past, but she wanted my business. And when she wants something, she most certainly gets it. I’m sure she was thrilled to learn that she wouldn’t have to be the one to get rid of me.”

               “There’s also the others to look out for. There’s Ashley, Paris’ best friend. They would do anything for each other. I’m sure that Paris is passing the club to Ashley if anything happens to her. Ashley is married to a retired prosthetic surgeon and brings a ton of money into the business.”

               “Then there’s Matt. He isn’t dangerous or anything. He plays in the band. But watch out for Kara. She the clubs rumrunner. Shes gotten out of more scraps than she could even remember. She can definitely hold her own in any kind of fight, so don’t get on her bad side. Gacé is the bartender at the club, but he’s also Paris’ personal body guard. He’s extremely dangerous. Matt, Ashley, and Kara are all dance instructors at the studio.”

               “What nights is the club open?” asked Dean, writing down all this information as fast as he could.

               “Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays,” said Cas. “And the studio is open Sundays, Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays.”

               “Okay, I’ll go check out the club, see if I can talk to Paris.”

               “When you go, don’t let them know that you’re a cop. If they get suspicious of you, Paris will have you killed.” Warned Cas. “Also, to get in, you have to show a special flower pin at the door.”

               “Right. Good to know,” said Dean. “I’ll bring backup.”

               Dean drove to the office with Cas in the passenger seat. He had insisted on helping Dean with the case, and Dean was hardly one to argue. He needed all the help he could get.

               Once he got to the office, he went straight to find his team. First was Jimmy K. Jimmy’s office was in the back of the building. Dean noticed that the door was slightly ajar so he walked in, only to be blinded by a terrifying sight. Now, Dean had walked in on Jimmy and his boyfriend, Steve, necking in their office before. But when Dean walked in, not only were Jimmy and Steve necking, they were having sex on Jimmy’s desk.

               Dean covered his eyes and ran from the room.

               “Dean, are you all right?” asked Cas after several minutes of Dean gagging and trying to rub the image out of his eyes.

               “Yes. I’m fine,” he said. “Let’s go find Charlie.”

               Dean went to Charlie’s office and knocked on the door.

               “Come in!”

               Dean went in and found Charlie sitting with her feet on her desk, reading a book.

               “I heard you scream. Did you walk in on Jimmy and Steve?” she said with a smirk.

               “Yes. God, I can’t get the image out of my head,” said Dean, shuddering. He watched Charlie and realized that she must not be able to see Cas standing next to him. Her eyes were only focused on Dean. Usually, when Dean brought someone by the office, Charlie would be all over them, grilling Dean on his sex life.

               “Yeah, that’s why I closed my door. _Steve is loud!”_

“Yeah, I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” said Dean. “Look, I need your help on the case. I have a lead, but it’s kind of a sticky situation. I need to talk to you about it. And Jimmy and Steve, when they’re done.”

               The door opened and in walked Steve and Jimmy.

               “Hey Dean,” said Jimmy. “What did you need us for?”

               Half an hour later, the four of them, five if you count Cas, made a plan to go into the speakeasy and talk to Cas’s friends. Although, Dean didn’t tell them who gave him the information.


	36. Downtown Doldrums Pt 2 (20s/Ghost AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Father Parpar

That Thursday, Jimmy, Steve, Charlie, and Dean went to the Cocktail Lounge. Dean drove separately, with Cas sitting next to him. The five of them entered through the side door in the alley. It was hidden from the road. Dean stepped up to the door, Cas close on his heels. He knocked and the door cracked open. A man poked his head out. Dean lifted the lapel of his suit to show his flower pin. The man nodded and opened the door wider. Dean went through and found a well-lit stair well leading down. The others followed close behind. At the bottom of the stairs, there was a fancy set of double doors. Two butlers opened the doors for them and gestured into the club.

               Dean gasped when he saw the inside. It was beautiful! The ceiling was high, crystal chandeliers hanging from it. Pillars lined the two walls, sprouting leafy crowns on top that gave off a soft light. The trim at the top of the walls were embossed with matching leafy designs. Wing-backed chairs provided seating around low, carved wood tables. The dance floor at the other side of the room was hardwood, as opposed to the red carpet of the rest of the place. A small stage sat at the far wall, in front of the floor, where a small band played. People danced across the floor to the upbeat music. More people sat and talked in the lounge area.

               One chair in particular had an especially high back and was fancier than the rest. Several other chairs were around it, seating older business men smoking cigars and sipping brandy. And seated in the center, high backed chair, was none other than Paris herself. Who else could it be? She wore an elegant light coral dress. Beads and pearls decorated her neck, ears, and fingers. Upon her head, she wore a headband adorned with pearls, diamonds, and feathers. In her hand, she held a champagne flute filled with sparkling champagne. She was the image of elegance as she sat with her legs crossed, listening to one of the business men tell a story.

               “Alright, Steve, Jimmy, you go find Gacé and see what he can tell us,” said Dean. The two nodded and left.

               “I’ll go talk to Paris,” said Charlie with a grin.

               “No, you will go find Kara and Matt,” said Dean, pulling her back. “I hear they spend a lot of time together so they’ll probably be together. Don’t get distracted by the flappers.”

               “You too,” she said sassily, then she left. Once Dean was alone, he said, “C’mon Cas. Let’s go talk to the big cheese.”

               Dean waited until the meeting seemed to break up, Paris standing and shaking hands with the men. One of the men who stood up was none other than…Sam. He and Ezri both stood and shook hands with Paris. Dean stood there, mouth hanging open. Sam noticed him and came over.

               “Dean?” he said. “What are you doing here?”

               “I never would’ve guessed you’d be consorting with the enemy,” Dean joked. “Don’t worry, I’m not here to bust this place. I’m here about the case.”

               “Dean, I’m really sorry. It’s just, this place is a really good investment for us,” said Sam, still looking uneasy.

               “It’s fine, Sammy. I’m not here about that. I’m actually waiting to talk to the big cheese over there, Paris. I got a tip about these people here knowing something about the killer.”

               “Really?” Sam asked, surprised.

               “Yeah. Hey, look. Why don’t you and Ezri go get yourselves a drink? I need to talk to her,” said Dean. He handed Sam a few bills.

                After the men all dispersed, Paris looked right at Dean. Dean, startled that she noticed him waiting for her, came over and sat when she gestured to one of the chairs.

               “So, what brings you here hot stuff?” she asked. “You come here alone?”              

               Beside him, Cas scowled.

               “Um, yeah,” said Dean. “I was actually here about Castiel Novak. You knew him, correct?”

               “Who’s askin’?” she said.

               “I am. My name is Robert Schumann. I was a cousin Castiel’s,” said Dean.

               “Robert Schumann, huh? Like the composer?” she asked.

               “Yep, that’s right,” he said with a dazzling smile. She giggled.

               “Well, Mr. Schumann. I might have known him. But how do I know you were really his cousin? How do I know you’re not a bull?”

               “I’m definitely not a cop,” said Dean, hoping he wasn’t busted already. “I’m just asking around about what happened to Castiel. I went to the fuzz a few days ago and they told me he was murdered. You have any idea who could have done that?”

               “Are you insinuating that I did it?” she asked, looking taken aback. “Well, you’re assumptions would be realistic. But I didn’t do it. Ask any of my guys. They can tell you. But I have something that might help you. I got a letter the other day from someone who claims to be the killer.”

               “Do you still have the letter? What did it say?”

               “Easy there, sheik,” she said, chuckling. “Yeah, I still have it. It’s in my study, I can get it for you. Don’t you go anywhere cutie. I’ll be right back.”

               She got up and left, leaving Dean to wait. He looked over at Cas, who was seated in the chair next to Dean’s. He had a scowl on his face.

               “Are you jealous?” joked Dean, chuckling.

               “No, of course not,” he said, slapping a neutral look on his face.

               “Then, what? Mad that she stole your business?”

               “No. I’m actually quite happy with what she did with this place. Also, I heard her talking to those men. She wants to get funds so she can expand. It was just the way she was talking to you-“

               “So you were jealous,” said Dean. “It’s okay, I’m all yours.”

               He said it jokingly, but he saw a blush spread across Cas’s face.

               Just then, a server came by and offered Dean a champagne. He took two and downed one of them in one gulp.

               “Can you drink?” asked Dean. Cas considered this.

               “I don’t know,” he said. Dean held the second glass out to Cas. He reached for it…but his hand went right through.

               “Hmm-“

               “Wait, let me try again. I felt it, I just couldn’t grab it.” Said Cas. He reached forward again. His hand went through again, but the glass moved a little in Dean’s hand. Cas tried a few more times, his face screwed up in concentration, until finally, he was able to grab it. He held it in his hand, a triumphant smile on his face. Dean smiled.

               “Nice! I hope no one’s looking over here,” said Dean, looking around, hoping no one would see the glass floating in midair. No one was watching. “Now take a drink.”

               Cas lifted the glass to his lips and took a sip. He swallowed it. “Well, I can’t taste it, but it felt very nice.”

               “Awesome,” said Dean. He called over a server and got himself another champagne.

               “This is very difficult,” said Cas, then he took another sip. “Can you take this from me? I’m going to drop it.”

               Dean took it and set it onto the table.

               Paris came back shortly and sat back down. She held a letter in her hand.

               “Here,” she handed it to Dean. “I found it on my desk last night.”

               Dean opened it and read the note.

_Dear Paris,_

_I love what you did with the place since the last owner. I’ll have to visit sometime for a drink. Speaking of the last owner, I hope you appreciate what I did for you by getting rid of him. But don’t you worry, I’m not finished. The musician is next on my list._

_Sincerely,_

_A._

“Do you think he meant Matt?” asked Paris fearfully.

               “I don’t know. We have to find Matt and make sure he’s-“

               A scream cut Dean off from across the club. The music stopped and people started gathering around the stage. Paris and Dean got up and ran to see what was happening. They pushed through the crowd and got to the stage.

               “Paris! Something happened to Matt!” said one of the musicians, kneeling at the foot of the stage.

               “What happened?” she asked. “Where is he?”

               She climbed onto the stage and followed the man to the curtain. Dean and Cas looked at each other, then followed. The man stopped Paris at the curtain.

               “Um, I’m just warning you. It’s really bad,” said the man.

               “I can handle it,” said Paris as she pushed past. Dean followed her behind the curtain.

               The sight he was met with made Dean stumble a little. The man who was supposedly “Matt” was brutally torn apart. His limbs were all scattered and there was blood on his face. My god, there was blood everywhere! His shirt was torn off and a big “A” was carved into his chest.

               There was a small crowd gathered around the scene now. Steve and Jimmy were there with a woman who had short brown hair. She was wiping away tears. Many of the other musicians stood around. Paris covered her mouth with her hand as she looked on in horror.

               She cleared her throat and took a deep breath before she spoke. “Everyone, we need to take care of this. Kara, go get Gacé, Harry and Kevin. Start cleaning this up. I’ll go talk to the guests.” She held out her hand and one of the musicians handed her a flask. She took a swig, handed it back, and went through the curtain.

               Dean went to speak with Steve and Jimmy as everyone else sprang into action at Paris’ orders.

               “What happened here?” asked Dean.

               “We found him like this,” said Steve.

               “It must’ve happened just a few minutes ago,” said Jimmy.

               Dean could hear Paris calming the crowd. She was telling them that the club would be closing for the night. “But if you come back tomorrow night, the first round is on me.”

               She then had her servers usher everyone out, then came back to the crime scene.

               “Should we call this in?” asked Steve, just as Paris approached.

               “No!” Dean said a little louder than intended. “Where would we…call in? Haha! Call in, Steve, you joker!”

               Dean looked at Paris but she didn’t seem to notice the fumble.

               “I’ll have to call Ashley, she’ll know how to handle this.” Then she turned to Dean and said, “We need to find out who’s doing this. I’m going to have a meeting with the staff tonight.”

               Just then, a gunshot rang through the building. A shout, then more gunshots.

               “That’s coming from the tunnels!” said Pairs. She lifted her skirt and pulled out the gun that was strapped on her leg. She ran to the back door. Dean, Jimmy, and Steve followed.

               Castiel appeared suddenly, next to Dean, making him jump.

               “Dean, it’s him. They found him in the tunnels,” he said.

               “We’ll get him!”

               They ran through the tunnels that held barrels and crates, stacked along the walls. Another gunshot echoed through the tunnels and they ran after the sound. They rounded the corner and found themselves in the middle of a gunfight! Charlie, Kara, Gacé, Harry, and Kevin were facing off against a man who was hiding behind a big crate.

               “Paris! It’s him! It’s the guy!” yelled Kara.

               “What’s your name you ugly bastard?” yelled Paris as they all joined the others behind cover.

               “Alistair. It’s lovely to finally meet you in person,” he said.

               Dean’s eyes widened. That wasn’t Alistair. He recognized that voice! Wasn’t that……

               Dean’s thoughts were cut off by another gunshot. It hit the wall and bounced off.

               “Dean, what’s going on here?” Sam called, running to the fight with Ezri close behind.

               “Sam, get back! Get Ezri out of here!” yelled Dean.

               “Yeah, Sam. We wouldn’t want you to get hurt,” said ‘Alistair’. He rose from his hiding place and looked at Sam. Everyone open fired at him but there seemed to be some sort of invisible shield around him. He was suddenly wearing white robes and had a long white beard with long white hair. Instead of a gun, he now held a staff.

               “Saruman!” yelled Dean, Sam, and Cas all at once.

               Saruman smiled and slammed his staff down. One of the big barrels fell and split open, spilling whiskey all over the floor. The drink pooled around everyone’s feet. Then it began to vibrate and slosh around. It then started swirling around their feet.

               “Oh krust! We’re sinking into it!” exclaimed Kevin.

               “No, this is the portal!” said Dean, now realizing what was going on. “Let it suck you in!”

               They all were sucked down into the whiskey portal and into the next world.


	37. Spooky Happenings (Fake Relationship/Finding Bigfoot AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Luci

The Spooky Happenings bookstore was Steve’s favorite place in the world. It was the one place in his small town where people regularly gathered to talk about supernatural happenings and general myths and legends concerning the town. Steve lived in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee, a small tourist town just outside Smoky Mountain national park. At the bookstore, it was Steve’s job to make sure the shelves were always stocked. The shelves were full of classic horror books like Frankenstein and Dracula. The bookstore was decorated to look like it was always Halloween- spider webs littered the shelves and fake skeletons hung from nooses in the bathroom. It looked like a goth kids bedroom, which it essentially was.

The bookstore was the number one destination for the goths of the town. Every Wednesday, a group of them would gather around a low table in the “Supernatural Novels” section of the library to talk about any spooky new tales they had heard. This group was named Team Free Will by its leader, Dean Winchester, who will swear on his life he once turned into a demon and went to a bar with the king of Hell. Also in Team Free Will was Dean’s brother, Sam, who was known to tell people he was once possessed by Lucifer and he had helped open the gates of Hell and started the apocalypse. Another member of this group was Castiel, who claims to be an actual angel of God, but he doesn’t have any wings. The other members of this group included Charlie the “hunter,” Ezri the “spirit guide,” Kevin the “prophet,” and Harry the “wizard.”

Steve didn’t believe a word that came out of any of these people’s mouths. Dean once told a story about how he and Sam had encountered a giant, talking, suicidal teddy bear. They also claimed to have been tricked by the angel Gabriel, who caused them to live in a television show called Dr. Sexy. Steve’s personal favorite story was the one where Sam claimed to live over a hundred consecutive Tuesdays. It was all complete bullshit, of course. There was no way a teddy bear could be suicidal, they’re too happy.

However crazy this group’s stories got, Steve never complained when Wednesday rolled around. It was always entertaining to listen to the goth’s tales. That all changed drastically one day, when the group introduced a new member.

Steve was putting the newest book by Carver Edlund in the shelves when he overheard Dean introducing him to the group.

“Everyone, this is Larry. Larry, this is everyone.”

Team Free Will gave Larry halfhearted hellos.

Dean continued his speech. “Larry was out hiking in the mountains when he came across his first supernatural happening. Why don’t you tell the group what happened?”

“Well, alright,” Larry said. He looked like he was basically the goth version of a dudebro. “I was out hiking, heading out to see the Laurel Falls. It was pretty early in the morning, so I was the only one on the trail, which was unusual. When I got to the top of the trail I stood on the bridge which sits above the stream of water that eventually turns into the waterfall. I stood on that bridge, looking out at the falls. It was kind of foggy, so I’m not one hundred percent sure what I was seeing. But at the base of the falls, standing in a pool of water, was a man. He looked like he must have been eight feet tall, and he was completely covered in hair. He was staring up at me, and he wasn’t moving. I tried to get a picture, but I wasn’t able to get a clear shot.” He held up his phone for the group to see. Steve couldn’t see it from where he was standing.

“What do you think it is?” Ezri asked, looking at Sam, who was the groups lore expert.

“Well, if I had to guess, I’d say it was a Bigfoot,” Sam said.

Larry nodded. “That’s what I thought at first. Then I decided to climb down the falls to get a closer look. It isn’t a very hard climb, so I was able to easily get to the bottom of the falls where the creature stood. However, when I reached where it had stood, it was gone! I looked around for any sign it had been there, foot prints, tufts of hair, feces, anything! But there was no sign it had been there at all.”

“Bigfoots are tricky like that,” Sam said. “They’re usually seen, but they never leave evidence they were there.”

“But I never even heard it get out of the water. You figure it’d make a splash or something.”

Dean spoke up. “This sounds like it warrants some further investigation. What do you guys think?”

Steve stopped listening. He had finally finished organizing the Carver Edlund books, and he was making his way back to the register, where his coworker and best friend was working.

“So, what crazy things are they talking about today?” Jimmy Kirk, best friend of Steve, asked.

“Apparently they’re going Bigfoot hunting.”

Jimmy laughed. “No way, they can’t be serious. Bigfoot? This is a new low.”

“I know, right? The new guy, Larry, says he saw Bigfoot up at Laurel Falls.”

“What do those guys smoke? And where can I get some?”

Just as Jimmy finished his sentence, Team Free Will and Larry rounded the corner and made their way back towards the front of the store.

“Are you sure you don’t need a ride, Larry?” Dean asked.

“No, my mom will be here soon.”

“Ok, well I’ll see you back here tomorrow morning.”

Dean led the rest of the gang out of the bookstore, so the only people left in the store were Jimmy, Larry, and Steve.

“Hey, can you watch the register for me?” Jimmy asked. “I’m gonna run to the bathroom.”

“Sure, no problem.”

Jimmy left, leaving Steve alone with Bigfoot Boy. Steve was what he called “socially impaired,” and he was not very good at talking to new people. He prayed Larry would leave him alone, but he had no such luck.

“Hey,” Larry said walking up to the register. “Are we in Tennessee?”

“Um, yes?”

“Cause you’re the only ten I see.”

Steve’s eyes widened with fear. Was Bigfoot Boy hitting on him?

“I saw you, listening to my story,” Larry said. “You like what you heard?”

“I- I don’t believe in the supernatural.”

“Well one night with me will change that.”

Steve felt sick. He wanted nothing to do with Larry, but couldn’t leave the register unattended.

“I- I already have a boyfriend.” Steve stuttered, making up a lie to make Larry back down.

“You do?” Larry asked.

“Yeah I do. It’s, um, it’s Jimmy!”

Jimmy had just rounded the corner on his way back from the bathroom.

Jimmy looked confused. “What’s me?”

“My, um, boyfriend,” Steve answered.

Jimmy took a moment to process what was going on before answering, “That’s right, I am,” he said, putting a protective arm around Steve. “And who are you?”

“No one,” Larry answered. “I just couldn’t believe that Steve didn’t believe in the supernatural. I was just making polite conversation.”

“Yeah, right,” said Jimmy. “And I don’t really believe in it either.”

“I don’t understand how people can’t see the obvious paranormal activity all around us!”

“The only thing that’s obvious is that you’re on some sort of drugs.”

“Alright, smart ass. Why don’t you both come with us tomorrow on the Bigfoot hunt. You’ll soon see the awesome power of the supernatural.”

“Maybe we will.”

“We’re meeting here at 5 in the morning. Be there or be square.” Larry walked out of the bookstore and got into a minivan, which Steve assumed belonged to Larry’s mom.

Neither Steve nor Jimmy worked the next day, so they agreed to go. They knew they would have to act as a couple to keep Larry away, but thinking about the look on Larry’s face when there was no Bigfoot was enough to persuade them to go.

When they got to the bookstore at 5, Team Free Will was already there. Larry had already explained to Dean why Steve and Jimmy were coming. All 10 of them piled into Larry’s mom’s minivan and they hit the road. Larry drove, and Dean rode shot gun. Harry sat on the floor between Cas and Kevin. Steve, Jimmy, Charlie, and Ezri were piled in the backseat, and Sam was in the trunk with all their gear. It was a crowded and highly illegal way of driving, but that was alright. As long as they didn’t run into any cops.

It was an hour ride to the falls. Larry entertained them all by playing his mixtape. Just as Steve was regretting his decision to come, they arrived at the beginning of the trail. There was no other cars in the parking lot. It felt like they were the only ones in the park.

The hike to the falls was about half a mile, which wouldn’t have been too bad if it weren’t for the fact that it was completely uphill. By the time they got to the top of the trail, Steve was covered in sweat and beginning to realize how out of shape he was.

When they reached the bridge, Larry took control. He had Sam climb down the rocks to the left of the falls.

“Ok, so I was standing here, looking out over the water,” Larry said, positioning himself on the bridge. “I’m going to need someone to stand where Bigfoot stood,” he called down to Sam. “I need to get an accurate gage on things.”

Sam was therefore forced to enter the water to pretend to be Bigfoot.

“A little to the left, no that’s too far, and… perfect!” Larry called down. He turned to the rest of the group. “Now you can more or less see what I saw. It was a bit foggier, and Sam isn’t nearly tall enough, but that’s alright.”

“You said that after you saw him you climbed down the rocks, right?” Dean asked.

“Yeah, the same way Sam did.”

“But by the time you turned around-”

“He was gone! I still can’t explain it.”

“Look, there!” Charlie said. “On the right of Sam. Could that be a path?”

Sam had heard what Charlie said, and made his way to where she was pointing.

“You guys won’t believe this!” Sam yelled from the path.

As quickly as they could, the rest of the gang climbed down the rocks to reach Sam.

“Having fun?” Larry asked Steve.

“Hardly,” Jimmy answered for him.

A few minutes later, everyone was gathered around Sam, who was kneeling on the forest floor, staring a giant foot print.

“I don’t believe it!” Ezri said.

“It’s really him,” said Harry in awe.

“Oh please,” said Jimmy. “Those are bear tracks.”

“No way, this is proof that Bigfoot is here,” said Larry.

“I used to go hunting with my dad and he showed me how to identify all sorts of tracks. And those tracks belong to a bear.”

“There are no bears here.”

“This is the Smoky Mountains. They’re crawling with bears.”

“Well, the only way we can be certain is if we find what made these tracks. Let’s follow them and see if we can find Bigfoot.”

“If whatever you saw made these tracks, it’s going to be long gone by now. Did you say you saw it a few days ago?”

“Jimmy’s right, Larry,” said Dean. “There’s no way he’s still here.”

“Well maybe we can find other proof,” Larry said before setting off down the path.

No one knew what else to do besides follow him. They followed Larry, stopping every once in a while for to search for evidence.

After half an hour of not finding anything, they came to a clearing in the woods. Right in the center of the clearing was the dead body of some large mammal.

Larry approached the body with caution. He knelt next to it, trying to get a closer look at it.

“We did it,” he whispered. “We found Bigfoot. We found Bigfoot!” He started laughing and dancing around the clearing, clearly joyful with his discovery.

Jimmy walked over to the body, Steve following closely behind.

“I don’t believe it,” Steve whispered. “He’s real.”

(Start of Alternate Ending)

“He was real,” Jimmy said. “He’s dead now. Actually,” he knelt down next to the body, taking a closer look. “He’s too dead. Larry, he’s been dead for at least a week.”

Larry suddenly stopped dancing looking at Jimmy with surprise. “What do you mean?”

“He’s not freshly dead. There’s no way this is what you saw that day. And look at his feet. They look nothing like those tracks we were following.”

“Then what did I see? And what killed Bigfoot?”

“If I had to guess, bears probably killed him. But I have no idea what you saw that day.”

“What I saw looked exactly like him. Maybe Bigfoot has a brother?”

“Not according to the lore,” said Sam. “As far as I know, there’s only one Bigfoot. And he’s dead.”

“Wait, Larry,” Dean said. “You said you never heard Bigfoot get out of the water, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, when Sam got out of the water, we heard him loud and clear. So maybe what you saw was Bigfoot, just a much quieter version of Bigfoot.”

“What do you mean?”

“What you saw could have only been one thing. It was Bigfoot’s ghost.”

Everyone in the group was shocked into silence over the revelation. Everyone but Jimmy.

Jimmy couldn’t control his laughter, he had to hold onto Steve just to remain on his feet. “You have got to be kidding me. Bigfoot’s ghost? The ghost of Bigfoot. Ok I admit, I was wrong about Bigfoot. Clearly he’s real. But ghosts? You’ve got to be joking.”

“Uh, guys?” said Harry.

“Jimmy this is no laughing matter,” Larry said, looking angry and offended.

“Guys!” Harry yelled. Jimmy and Larry turned to look at him. “Look over there!”

Slowly, Jimmy and Larry turned to look where Harry was pointing. There, floating amongst the trees, was the ghost of Bigfoot, surrounded by an army of bears.

“Who dares to step on my grave?” Came a low voice. It could only be the voice of Bigfoot.

“You can speak English?” Larry asked.

“Yes, as well as Scandinavian, but no matter! I am the Immortal Sasquatch. I watch over all of the forests of the world. When I die, I rise again! And you have delayed me from rising by disturbing the ceremony! For this you will pay with your lives!”

The bears started running towards them, and Team Free Will began to sprint away, down the path and back to the falls.

While they were running, Larry “tripped” over Jimmy’s foot and was mauled to death by bears.

Once the team reached the falls, a portal opened, and they were swept off their feet and dragged into another world.

 


	38. Alternate Ending For Spooky Happenings (Fake Relationship/Finding Bigfoot AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Luci

“Hell yeah he’s real!” Larry shouted. “He’s way more real than your relationship with Jimmy, that’s for sure!”

“Excuse me?” Jimmy said.

“Please, your relationship is as fake as Nicki Minaj’s butt. Steve doesn’t deserve me anyways.”

“You know what you deserve?” said Steve. “To be mauled to death by bears, just like your precious Bigfoot!”

“Fine, if your relationship is so real, prove it!”

“You want us to prove it, fine!” shouted Jimmy. “We’ll prove it!”

Jimmy reached out and grabbed Steve, dipping him and placing a long, searing kiss on his lips. By the time Jimmy released Steve, they were both gasping for air, feeling things for each other they never thought possible.

Team Free Will applauded them, and Jimmy took a small bow.

Suddenly, a portal opened where the Bigfoot was laying. Jimmy took Steve’s hand and led him into the portal, Team Free Will following closely behind.

The portal closed, leaving Larry alone in the wilderness of the Smoky Mountains. He walked over to where Bigfoot was, looking for evidence that the portal had been there. He felt like he was going crazy. Where he found no evidence, he kicked the body out of frustration.

From the woods, a low growling was heard. Larry turned him head, and stared straight into the face of a bear.

“Oh no,” he said.

Larry was mauled to death by bears the end.


	39. Hipsterism (Sad Hipster Party AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Luci
> 
> AN: The song lyrics do not belong to me, I did not write them, they are not mine. I wrote everything else, except the story Kaia tells. She wrote that. Ok now read.

High school.  The worst thing invented by mankind since nuclear war.  Who in their right mind would think that sitting in stone hard chairs for hours on end while being lectured on such topics as the Civil War and microeconomics would be an enjoyable activity?  And to add to the day to day pain of note and test taking, there were the people.  Now naturally in a high school you’ve got your clichés, the jock dating the head cheerleader and the nerds being considered the social outcasts, but there’s one that, for some reason, always gets over looked in stories such as these.

               The Hipsters.

               Now, by definition a hipster is “usually a young person who is trendy, stylish, or progressive in an unconventional way; someone who is hip” (thank you dictionary.com), but in the eyes of lonely nerd Steven Proudfoot, they were so much more.

               The hipsters at Steve’s high school usually tried to stay out of the lime light, which was hard considering the outlandish clothing they wore and their constant obsession of bands and things that have yet to come to the attention to the mainstream media.  The hipsters were constantly in and out of the shadows, wanting to be seen just enough so people knew they were there, yet hidden enough so they could remain mysterious and interesting.

               And Steve had fallen head first into their trap.

               For Steve, the hipsters were something to be desired, like a forbidden treasure.  He wanted so much to be like them, to be _in_ with them.  Everything about hipsterism appealed to him, from the fashion to the music.  But there was one thing, or, well, one _person_ in particular that made Steve want in with them so badly.

               James Tiberius Kirk, hipster extraordinaire. He was their leader, and a _total_ hottie.  Steve lived for the moments in math class when Jimmy would get up to throw something out or sharpen his pencil so he could get a glimpse at that perfect… well, never mind.

               Everything about Jimmy was perfect.  The way he threw his head back when he laughed, the way his eyes sparkled when he told a joke, his sense of fashion, his love of the fine arts.  He was witty and wonderful, caring and sweet.  He was everything Steve wanted in a person.  But he could never be with him.

               It was one of those unspoken high school rules that kept Steve from attempting to get with Jimmy.  You stayed within your group.  You only dated people who were like you, or your kind.  At least, that’s what Steve told himself.

               Math class had been particularly painful that day. In addition to the seemingly endless trigonometry notes they were taking, Jimmy’s pencil could not seem to stay sharp, and Jimmy could not stay in his seat.  Steve could not concentrate at all.

               Something hit him in the side of his head.  Paris, one of the few people Steve talked to, had thrown something at him.

               “What?” he whispered.

               After making sure the teacher wasn’t looking, Paris passed Steve her notes.  He quickly scribbled down what he had missed, which was most of it.

               Almost immediately after he had finished, the bell rang, signaling the end of the school day.  One by one, the students filed out of the class.

               Steve started to walk towards his locker, and Paris followed him.

               “Steve, I don’t know what your issue is.  I have to lend you my notes almost every day, and you still somehow manage to do better in that class than me.”

               “That’s not true.”

               “Yes it is,” she said.

               Steve stopped to open his locker.  “I’ve had a hard time paying attention lately, alright? Please don’t be an ass.”

               “Please, I know exactly what you’ve been paying attention to.  And _speaking_ of asses-“

               “Seriously?”

               “I mean, how many times can someone break their pencil?  You couldn’t take your eyes off it.”

               Steve didn’t reply, instead he made himself busy looking for something in his locker.

               “Listen, maybe I have been sort of an ass.  I’m going to help you out.  Jimmy’s having one of his infamous hipster parties tonight. Why don’t you stop by?  The gang and I will be there.  I don’t really want to go, but Kaia’s boyfriend will be there so she’s insisting.”

               “Really?”

               “Yeah, Colin always goes to these things.”

               “No, I mean, you’re inviting me?”

               “Yeah, just don’t talk to me well you’re there, I don’t want people to think I actually know you.”

               Steve had never been so nervous and excited in his entire life.  He had put on his best pair of plaid pajama pants, his nerdiest tee shirt, and his nicest fedora.  He chugged a Mountain Dew and then headed out the door, ready to party it up with the hipsters.  Jimmy didn’t live far from Steve, so he decided to walk to his house rather than drive.

               By the time he got to Jimmy’s house, the party was already hoppin’.  Many of the hipster were already there, sitting in circles and telling sad stories in the backyard.  Paris and her gang, the Rhythm Fusions, were already there.  They were sitting around the stump of an old tree and passing around a pipe full of what Steve assumed was some exotic drug.  He could hear Kaia leading a discussion about the meaning of life and why we’re all here.  Colin was sitting with them as well.  He was lightly strumming a ukulele.

               The Crazy 8s were there as well, sitting on the trampoline.  The gang was sitting in a circle along the outside edge.  Steve recognized two of them as Zach and Nathan.  They sat next to each other, listening as a girl with long brown hair told a story, her eyes filling with tears.

               The rest of the party guests were either standing near the food table or around the bonfire.  Jimmy was standing with Spock, Chekov, Bones, and some other members of his crew.  They were holding red solo cups and plates with fancy assorted cheeses on them, which were probably from Walmart.

               Ezri was the first to approach Steve.  “Hey,” she said, smoke trailing from her mouth from the cigarette she was smoking.  “Haven’t seen you here before.”

               “Yeah, I was invited by Paris.”

               “Oh.  Well you might as well get some cheese.”

               Ezri led him over to the cheese table and handed him a plate.  Steve was highly aware that he was standing the closest to Jimmy he had ever stood. He could feel himself shaking as he grabbed a slice of gouda.

               Steve stood against a tree like he was in the bra section at Target, ate his food, and stared longingly at Jimmy.  How could one person be so perfect?  The way he was listening to Spock, the way he held his body. Hell, even the way he ate his Walmart cheese was full of grace and beauty.

               “Hey!”  Paris said, approaching Steve.  “You actually came.”  She was wearing a patterned black and white sweater with light blue shorts and a gray beanie.  She had a scarf around her neck and rainbow colored glasses on.  She was easily the most fashionable person at the party.

               “Yeah, well who am I to pass up an opportunity to get some fancy cheese?” Steve answered.

               “Fair.  Why don’t you come sit with us?”

               “I thought you didn’t want people knowing I know you.”

               “There’s no one here whose opinion I care about enough for it to matter.”

               Steve followed Paris to the stump the Rhythm Fusions were sitting around.  The RF’s made room for them around the stump.  Kara passed Steve a blunt, which he kindly refused.

               “Whatever, more for me,” she said shrugging.

               “Can I get everyone’s attention?” came a voice.

               The RFs all turned to look at the deck, where Jimmy was standing, microphone in hand.  It was hooked up to an old karaoke machine.  The deck was raised only a few feet from the ground, and it was about the size of a small stage, which was what Jimmy was using it as.

               “We are now going to start the open mike.  If anyone would like to come up and play us a song, the stage is yours.”

               The first people to take the stage were Nathan and Zach from the Crazy 8s.  Zach sat down on a stool, guitar across his lap.  He and Nathan both took microphones.  *Zach began playing an acoustic rendition of Love is an Open Door from Frozen, Nathan singing Anna’s parts and Zach singing Han’s.  Their voices fit together perfectly, creating a harmony that the actual voice actors themselves could not achieve.  As they finished, the crowd snapped for them enthusiastically.

               “Why are we snapping?” Steve whispered to Paris. “Why don’t we just clap?”

               “Shhh!” Colleen said, looking at him angrily.

               “It’s just what we do,” Paris said, shrugging.

               Next up to the mike was Spock.  He brought a boom box up to the stage with him.  He inserted a cassette tape, and the beginning of *The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins began to play.  He sang along to the track with enthusiasm, even doing a dance when there was a break in the singing.  He was magnificent, truly embodying what it meant to be a hobbit.

               The crowd snapped even louder for him than they did for Zach and Nathan, which might have been because there were more people there.  People from all over had gathered in Jimmy’s backyard when they heard the commotion. The crowd was steadily growing.

               Next up to the mike was Kaia from the Rhythm Fusions.  She was not singing, or even dancing.  Instead, she had a story to tell.

               “Burying how you feel towards someone I’ve always been told is ‘unhealthy.’ It’s hard, it really is. I always wish I could tell them how I truly feel. I do leave hints here and there for them to try to pick up. Although if someone did that to me, I probably wouldn’t pick them up either. This sounds ridiculous, but I looked up “how to tell if someone likes you” and one thing that really stuck with me was watch their body language. As obvious as it sounds it really isn’t because body language is more than just leaning more towards one person rather than the other person, it’s where your feet point, where your knee points, where your shoulders point. All of these I found were true for me. No one looks to see where your feet are pointing unless they know this secret and are suspecting something, but I’m pretty sure very little people look for these. I wish I could tell them how I feel and they wouldn’t have to assume anything, you know? But no. I can’t do that. They’re one of my best friends and I can’t ruin our relationship. I love them secretly and I think that secret is best kept inside.”

               The crowd was shocked into silence, allowing Kaia’s words to fill their minds and hearts.

               “Thank you,” Kaia said, then walked off stage. Everyone snapped for her with vigor.

               After her, Chekov came to the stage.  He pulled out a black leather pouch from his shirt, which was on a string around his neck.  From the pouch, he pulled out a triangle.  He unwrapped the clothe from around it and placed the clothe on his shoulder.  He held it to the mike, then played one soft note.  He let it ring through the air, allowing its vibrations to touch every heart in the audience.  Then, he placed it back in the bag.  The crowd went wild with the snapping.  A few people even stood up, whipping tears from their eyes.

               “That’s it?” Steve said.

               Kara gasped.  “It’s a metaphor, you idiot,” she said, clearly disgusted.

               “Not a very good one,” Steve muttered under his breath.

               Next up to the mike was none other than Phyllis Carryngherleysongol, singing *I’m Coming Out by Diana Ross.  Tonight, she was wearing forest green overalls that ended just above her knees, matching green heels, and a purple scarf.  She had short, purple hair that contained many small braids and ribbons of every color.  She also had tattoos of different faces on her arms.  She also wore a white knee brace around her left knee, and in the front pocket of her overalls, she had a plastic fork, spoon, and knife from Wendy’s.  Her voice was beautiful, and she sang the song perfectly.  The crowd felt as if the song perfectly embodied her spirit.

Plenty of people went up to the mike after her. Colin played an original piece on his ukulele, Ashley and Matt danced a duet, and the crying girl from the Crazy 8s screamed into the mike for three minutes.

As the screaming girl left the stage, Colin came and sat down next to Steve.  “You gonna do anything?”

“Well, no,” Steve answered.  “I wasn’t planning on it.”

“Come on, I’ll let you borrow my ukulele.”

“There’s only one song I know how to play on the ukulele.”

“Perfect, play that.”

“I don’t know, I’ll probably just make a fool out of myself in front of Jimmy.”

Colin rolled his eyes and jumped off the ground, pulling Steve up with him.  He pulled Steve to the front of the crowd, then picked him up and physically threw him on the stage.  Once Steve stood up, Colin threw him his ukulele.

“Play,” Colin demanded.

Someone had placed the mike on a stand and put it in front of Steve.  He looked out over the crowd, which was hungrily waiting for more entertainment. Steve took a deep breath, and began to play *the opening theme song from Steven Universe.

_“We are the Crystal Gems_

_We’ll always save the day_

_And if you think we can’t,_

_We’ll always find a way._

_That’s why the people of this world_

_Believe in_

_Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl and Steven!”_

               His voice was alright.  Average, even.  No one snapped at first.  Just as Steve was ready to run home, a faint snapping came from his left.  Jimmy was standing, leaned against a tree, snapping, a wide smile across his face.  “Beautiful,” Jimmy whispered, causing Steve’s legs to turn to jelly.  Soon, the backyard was filled with snapping.

               Steve walked off the stage, taking his seat back around the stump.  Colin walked by and snatched his ukulele back without saying anything to Steve.

               No one went up to the mike for a minute. Then, Jimmy took the stage. “Would anyone else like to perform?” he asked.

               The crowd was silent.  Those who had been to one of Jimmy’s parties before knew what was coming next.

               “If no one else would like to perform, I guess it’s my turn,” he said, swinging his guitar from his back into his hands.

               The crowd gave a cheer of approval.  The first song he performed was *Rocket Man. Jimmy had a very particular way of singing.  He did not sing at all, he talked the words, creating the sense of poetry put to music without the melody of singing.

_“She packed my bags last night pre flight_

_Zero hour nine a.m._

_And I’m gonna be high, as a kite by then_

_I miss the earth so much, I miss my wife_

_It’s lonely out in space_

_On such a timeless flight_

_And I think it’s gonna be a long long time_

_Till touch down brings me round again to find_

_I’m not the man they think I am at home_

_Oh no, no, no, I’m a rocket man_

_Rocket man burning out his fuse up here alone”_

               As he finished his first song, the crowd went wild.  Steve couldn’t believe it.  Jimmy was beautiful _and_ talented.  It was all too much for his little heart to handle.

               The next song Jimmy performed was *Mr. Tambourine Man.

_“Hey, Mr. Tambourine man, play a song for me_

_I’m not sleepy and there ain’t no place I’m going to_

_Hey, Mr. Tambourine man, play a song for me_

_In the jingle jangle morning, I’ll come followin’ you_

_Take me for a trip upon your magic swirling ship_

_All my senses have been stripped_

_And my hands can’t feel to grip and my toes too numb to step_

_Wait only for my boot heels to be wandering_

_I’m ready to go anywhere, I’m ready for to fade_

_Into my own parade_

_Cast your dancing spell my way_

_I promise to go under it”_

               Again, the crowd cheered.  There was a mixture of snapping and clapping, the clapping coming from the new arrivals.  There were so many people at the party, all drawn there by the magic that was Jimmy’s voice.  He was a gifted performer who knew exactly how to work a crowd.

               “I have one more song for you tonight,” he said into the mike as the crowd roared its approval.

               He began to play.  At first, Steve didn’t recognize the song.  Then he, he realized.

               “It isn’t,” he whispered.

               But it was.  *Fuck You be Cee Lo Green was sounding through the backyard.

_“See you driving ‘round town_

_With the girl I love and I’m like_

_Fuck you_

_(Ooh, ooh, ooh)_

_I guess the change in my pocket_

_Wasn’t enough, I’m like_

_Fuck you_

_And forget her too_

_Said, if I was richer_

_I’d still be with ya_

_Ha, oh ain’t that some ssh_

_(Ain’t that some ssh)_

_And although there’s pain in my chest_

_I still wish you the best with a_

_Fuck you_

_(Ooh, ooh, ooh)”_

               As the song finished, the crowd went wild. They were chanting Jimmy’s name, and demanding an encore.  Jimmy bowed and exited the stage, joining Spock and Chekov offstage for some fancy cheese and diet soda.

               Steve was a mess.  He had never dreamed the party would be this great.  Jimmy’s voice had filled Steve with love and lust.  He didn’t think it was possible to love anyone more than he loved Jimmy.

               Steve got up from off the ground and made his way over to where Paris was standing with the Rhythm Fusions.

               “Hey, I think I’m going to go,” he said to her.

               “Really?” she said.  “Alright, well, bye.”

               “Bye.”

               Steve pushed his way through the crowd, attempting to get to the gate.

               “Wait!” yelled a voice from behind him.  “Wait, Steve!”

               Steve turned around.

               There, in the crowd, stood Jimmy.  He was pushing his way past people, attempting to reach Steve.

               Steve could not believe his eyes.  Once Jimmy made his way to Steve, he grabbed his hand and whispered, “Follow me.”

               Sometime later, Steve and Jimmy were laying together in Jimmy’s basement on a futon bed.  No one said anything, words were not needed.  They listened to the crowd outside, knowing that they didn’t need any of those people, all they needed was each other.

               However, their happiness was short lived.  Spock came down the stairs, bearing unfortunate news.

               “Jimmy, they’re here.  The Winchesters are here.”

               Dean, Sam, Cas, Kevin, and Harry pulled up outside James Kirk’s house in the Impala.  They were by no means hipsters.  They actually had a long standing feud with the hipsters, over things forgotten long ago.

               “Dean, are you sure we should be doing this?” Kevin asked, again.  They were banned from hipster parties by Kirk, but that made Dean even more certain he was going to get into that party.

               “Absolutely.  They’ve got fancy Walmart cheese, and I’ll be damned if I don’t get any,” Dean answered, looking determined.

               “Is that seriously the only reason were doing this?”

               “Well, revenge is part of the reasoning, but no, it’s mostly for the cheeses.”

               Dean parked the Impala as close to the house as he could.  The five boys got out and walked to the backyard.

               As soon as they stepped through the fence gates, the party fell silent.  Chekov paused the music that was playing off his iPod.  Everyone turned to look at the new arrivals.

               Spock saw the Winchesters and gasped.  This could not be happening.  He ran off to find Jimmy.

               The five new comers walked into the party, through the crowd, and up to the cheese table, which was highly lacking in cheese.

               “Who would like to explain to me,” Dean said, picking up an empty cheese tray, “where all the food has gone?”  He threw the tray to the ground.

               “That cheese isn’t for you, Winchester,” said Chekov, trying his best to look brave.

               “Really?  Then who’s it for?”

               “My guests,” said a voice from the deck.

               Dean turned to his left and looked up at Kirk, who was standing, shirtless, on the deck.  Steve was standing behind him.

               “And you were not invited,” Kirk finished, pointing to Dean.

               “Well why not?”

               “You know why.”

               Dean stared at Kirk.  Kirk stared back.

               “That was one time, Kirk.  You need to learn to move on.”

               “And _you_ need to learn how to respect other people’s stuff, Winchester.”

               “That was _one_ time.”

               “And that was my favorite scented marker!”

               “Wait, wait,” said Sam, stepping between the two boys. “You’re telling me we don’t get along with the hipsters because you stole a scented marker from Kirk?”

               “It was third grade, I was jealous,” Dean whispered, his voice full of shame.

               “Get out of my backyard,” Kirk said, clenching his fists.

               “Fine, but don’t expect this is the last time you’ll be seeing us!”

               “We have English together, I see you every day!”

               Dean pushed his way back through the crowd, Cas, Sam, Harry, and Kevin following him.  They got into the Impala and drove off, the crowd of hipsters cheering.

               “You were so brave,” Steve said to Jimmy.  “I don’t think I would have ever been able to do that.”

               “With me around you’ll never have to.  I’ll protect you, Cherry Pie.”

               Steve and Jimmy embraced each other, allowing the beat of the music to wash away their worries.  They knew that as long as they had each other, they would be safe. As long as they had each other, they would be happy.

               A blue mist slowly filled the backyard, lifting Steve, Jimmy, and many others out of that life and into the next.


	40. Till Death Do Us Part (Sultan AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Father Parpar

 On the first of July, everyone throughout the land rejoiced, for it was a very special day. It was the Sultans birthday. Everyone celebrated the loved (and feared) Sultans birthday. She lived at the top of the hill, overlooking the city, in her white and gold palace. This birthday was a special one because the sultan was also getting married. She was adding another member to her harem and this was definitely a reason to celebrate. A wedding and a birthday. Quite the celebration.

           Cas had seen the sultan’s kind of parties before, every one of them since he was a servant of the palace, but he had never known the likes of this one. This one was going to be a night to remember. Or weekend. Or week, depending on when the sultan decided she wanted the party to end. At that moment, Cas was helping some of the other servants collect glassware for the banquet room. The banquet room was almost the size of the palace ballroom. The banquet hall was an oval shaped room. There were several, ornate doors around the sides. Decorative pillars lined the perimeter with braziers in between. There was a shallow pit in the center of the room where performances were often held. Around the pit were all the tables. The tables, like everything else, were hand carved, ornately decorative. They were low to the ground, as were the chairs. Some tables had plush cushions instead of chairs. At one end of the oval room, the floor was raised and on that was a long table. In the center was a high backed chair and around that were other shorter, but no less fancy, chairs. This was where the sultan and her harem sat.    

           Cas set up stacks of plates on a long table that would later hold all the different dishes that the guests would bring. The table was draped in a gold silk. Another servant handed Cas another stack of plates and he set them with the other plates. Any minute now, guests would be arriving. The preparations were almost done.

           "We need to go get dressed,“ said someone behind Cas. He turned around and saw Steve, another servant of the palace. Cas and Steve got along fine, but Cas found Steve a bit annoying. Cas looked around. Many of the servants were leaving, no doubt going to their quarters to get dressed for the party. Cas and Steve left the banquet room and went to the servant’s quarters. The quarters were located in the back of the palace. It was no less decorated than the rest of the palace, but the rooms were definitely smaller. Cas’s room was shared with two other people: Harry and Kevin. Harry and Kevin were younger than Cas, but not by much. Cas was certain that those two were secretly lovers. He didn’t want to bring it up though.

           Harry and Kevin were already in their room when Cas got there. They were changing.

           "Hey Cas!” said Harry. “Are you ready for the partaaaay?”

           "I’m so stoked for this rager!“ said Kevin.

           Cas shrugged. Parties weren’t really his thing. He dug his silk uniform out of his chest and started changing.

           When Cas left the servants headquarters, guests had already began arriving. Everyone was in a tizzy about who the sultan was marrying. Only the sultan’s personal servants were allowed to see them. Cas knew he was sure curious. He couldn’t wait for the wedding. Cas looked into the banquet room. There were guests from all over the world. There was the young king of Spain, a handsome young man in over the top clothes. His regal, serious six year old brother stood behind him. The Spanish dignitary, who was laughing with some of the other guests, was a huge, obese man who wore a bib over his royal clothing. He was ready for dinner.

           The Japanese representative was there with his wife and daughter. This man was in his sixties. He was short, had a thin mustache and long sideburns hat were shaved into separate cubes. He wore full samurai armor that still had bullets stuck in it. His armor went to his feet, and on his left leg, all the way around, was his war medals. His armor was so shiny and polished, one could see their own reflection in the shimmering bronze. He held his four year old daughter aloft on his shoulders.  His wife was the picture of elegance. She held her head high, her elaborate hairstyle immaculate.

           Two Indian tribes wearing traditional regalia were coming in, greeting each other and the other guests. One was the Navajo tribe, setting on the long table large platters of ach'ii and buffalo. The Shoshone tribe, as a plains tribe, wore shawls made of colored grasses, skins, and fringe. They were setting down platters of frybread and bluegill fish. One woman stood out. She was a tiny, ancient old woman who wore a grass shawl and spoke only on Shoshone. She was the chief of the Shoshone tribe. Very well-known across the land. And very respected.

           A twelve year old boy wearing a round bronze chest plate with chainmail underneath was shouting at anyone who passed him. Bronze plates ran down both his arms. His long black hair was knotted and dirty. Cas recognized him as the king of Mongolia. On his back was a crossbow, the infamous crossbow that shoots daggers instead of arrows. Exploding daggers. And those same daggers were strapped all the way down both his legs. He was surrounded by a ton of bodyguards.

           The pounding of drums caught Cas’s attention and he looked to the other side of the room. Four men walked in carrying on their shoulders a wood throne. Sitting on the throne was a tribal leader from Africa. He beamed when he came in, seeing some old friends of his. His face was so pierced, there was hardly anywhere else to pierce. He wore dreadlocks to his shoulders. His shirtless chest had several arrow shafts sticking out of it. Cas had heard stories of how he had gotten shot in battle several times, the arrows miraculously missing any vital organs. Stuck straight through his leg was a spear. All of his war medals hung from the spear shaft in front. You might wonder why he had war medals, as an African tribal leader. He would tell you it’s because he’s seen a lot of things in his day, and one day, it will be time for you to see those things. His wife walked beside his chair. She was tall and thin and elegant. She had no hair and wore several gold rings around her neck. She was beautiful.

           A loud screeching sound echoed across the hall. Cas looked and saw a world famous American war hero. His name was Shenandoah. He’s a baboon. As the story goes, he came across the ocean from Africa on a fishing boat as a young lad. He landed on the shores of the Americas, where he was found by the Indian tribes and worshipped as a god. He then joined the military and as the war ended, he left and took three thousand, eight hundred lives with him in the French and Indian war, winning it for the Indians.

           The doors opened behind the African tribal leader and in strode a woman who anyone could recognize. She was the ruler of the seven seas and has been dodging her trip to Davey jones’ locker for more than two hundred years. She was a stout woman, her white hair to the floor. The hat atop her head told anyone that she was not one to be crossed. It was huge and wide and had billowing feathers spilling over the brims. She smiled when she entered the room and Cas noticed that she only had three teeth. There was only one person who this woman could be. The Pirate Queen. Behind her, trailed her infamously handsome pets, still youthful all these years.

           Behind her, entered two men in grass regalia holding purple flags. They came into the room and stood on either side of the door. In came JJ, the princess of Tahiti. Unlike the others from her land, she was fair skinned and had fiery red curly hair. She was dressed in elaborate Tahitian grasses and jewelry. Behind her came her pet, probably the most beautiful man Cas has ever seen. His bronze skin was smooth and toned, his face angular, like he was carved out of stone. His black hair was up in a bun. Cas knew JJ was going to have trouble with him tonight.

           Next to arrive was none other than the Queen of Egypt herself, Cleopatra. She strode into the room flanked by toned, shirtless warriors. She was everything people said about her. Beautiful, stately, and she had a kind smile on her face. Her presence filled the room. Trailing behind her was her entourage of pets. Both men and women, her slaves were stunning to look at in their glittering silks and jewelry. She was known across the land for her fine collection. At her side was her husband. Cas had heard rumors about him, but he never knew they were true. He was bald, and shirtless. He wore white and gold silks across his hips. He had a stern expression on his face, or rather, one side of his face: for the other side was all metal and wires. It is said that his mother was a robot and his father was a human. He was born as a cyborg. Cas wasn’t sure how much of that was true, but looking at him now, there was only that explanation. Only half of his body was flesh. Cleopatra took a seat a one of the tables, her husband sitting beside her, looking around the room for danger.

           Cas was pulled away just then, but he knew there was no doubt that the other guests arriving were going to be just as interesting. He had to prepare for the ceremonies. Running to the kitchen, he found Kevin and Harry already there, readying the platters to take out. It was just about time for the performances, which meant dinner was to come after. Cas couldn’t wait to see the performances. Soon, everything was ready in the kitchen and Cas heard a loud bell _dong!_ out in the banquet hall. He peeked in and saw the Sultan and her harem entering the room. The guests all got quiet and watched as Kara sat at her high backed chair behind the long table on the raised floor. Her harem all sat around her. They were stunning. Cas was sometimes able to serve them, and he knew firsthand how lovely the harem was. Sitting next to Kara was her first wife, Paris. Paris had dark blonde, curly hair adorned with gold chains and beads. She wore a heavily beaded dress that was different shades of pink. On the other side of Kara, was Ashley, her second wife, who had hair colored with pinks, purples, blues, and greens. She wore an equally fancy orange dress. The others in the harem were Colleen, Kaia, Madison, Matt, and Gace, who in no way were underdressed compared to the others. Kara herself wore a colorful beaded dress and so much jewelry, Cas wondered how she was able to hold herself up. The whole group was stunning.

           Kara raised her glass and tinked it with a spoon. The room went silent.

           "Thank you everyone for coming to my palace,” she said warmly. “I welcome you all. As you all know, today is a very important day. It’s my birthday! I also happen to be getting married today!”

           The guests cheered.

           "Thank you, thank you,“ Kara continued.” I’m sure you are all hungry from your long trips, so there are appetizers over on the table there, my dear friend Mukua Washakie brought frybread and fish. That frybread smells wonderful. So please help yourselves.”

           She sat down and a servant hurried out to stand on the edge of the platform.

           "We will begin the evening with the welcoming and gift ceremony,“ he said. "The first performance is the flamenco, from Spain.”

           Two girls wearing gorgeous red dresses stepped into the center of the room. The music started and they began dancing. They lifted their arms and snapped their red fans open, making the guests jump. They danced around each other, waving their skirts and twirling their fans. Their posture reminded Cas of some of the really stuck up royals: back straight, shoulders back, chin up, and eyes down. But it looked good on them, with their hair pulled back into slick, tight buns. They finished the dance with a dramatic pose then closed their fans, took a bow to the Sultan, and walked off together.

           The next one was from China. It was a lantern dance. Four young girls took the stage as the music started. The dance was simple, the lanterns bobbing and dipping, the girls turning around each other. The dance was short. They bowed to the Sultan and left.

           The next dance was from the Persian Gulf. It was called Khaleegi. The woman performing it was none other than…. Carol! She wore many layers of blue silks and fabrics over her body. The music started and Cas realized the style wasn’t so different from the style of dance that the dancers here do it. The hip rolls and pops were familiar, as were the undulating arms and torso. She had the same posture as the Spanish dancers, but unlike them, it didn’t look as good on this woman. Cas thought it just made her look incredibly condescending. When her song ended, she bowed low to the Sultan and left, making way for the soft beat of Shoshone drums.

           The Shoshone dancers moved to the pit and split into two groups: men and women. At the same time, they began dancing the smoke and grass dance. The smoke dance was for women only. Their bodies rolled gracefully, imitating smoke. It was beautiful. The men performed the Grass dance, which was quicker and consisted of stomping and fast movements. The two dances balanced each other out in a mesmerizing way.

           “You know why the grass dance looks like that?” a voice asked, startling Cas. He turned around to find a young woman with long black hair and dark skin. She was from one of the Indian tribes.

           “Why?” asked Cas.

           “It’s because long ago, in a time before lawnmowers, the men would stomp on the grass to flatten it down, so they could work in the fields,” she explained. Cas then remembered seeing her come in with the Shoshone tribe. “Not that you needed that piece of information. My name is Aileen, by the way. Aileen Smokey Trail. I’m the chief’s translator. She only speaks Shoshone.”

           “Castiel,” Cas introduced himself. “It’s nice to meet you.”

           “Likewise,” said Aileen, nodding and looking back to the dancers. They finished and bowed, crossing paths with the Navajo dancers that took their place in the pit. The drums beat faster and louder than the previous dance. The dancers moved in unison around in a circle, their arms outspread, creating an impressive spectacle. They really looked like eagles when they soared around each other like that.

           Drums started beating out a heavy beat and shakers caught on. Two men and two women ran to the pit. They wore grass skirts and floral headbands. Leis draped around their necks. They started moving with the fast beat, their dance quick and energetic. A clear voice started singing in a language Cas didn’t understand. He realized it was Tahitian. The women used a lot of hip rolls and undulating motions that seemed impossible to Cas. The men had sharper moves that showed off their strength. The way the women rolled their hips to the beat made their skirts go flying around them. The drums all slammed one last beat to go with the dancer’s final, powerful chant. They all took their index and middle fingers and crossed them in front of them, lowering them down to point to their feet. Then they bowed to the sultan and left.

           The harsh sound of a mizmar started playing a tune. For a while nothing happened. Then, fifteen men and women strode to the pit. They were adorned in coin scarves around their hips. The women wore coin bras and the men were shirtless. They had a surplus of gold jewelry on: bangles, arm bands, necklaces, hair ornaments, and…collars and wrist cuffs. Cas realized these were slaves.

           He should have guessed. They were all especially attractive and young.

           They moved as one as they took their positions in the pit. A soft drum beat was added to the mizmar. The dancers started moving with the music, slow, undulating movements that flowed with the beat. Their arms snaked around and their bodies moved in isolating movements. The beat picked up and the drums got louder. The dancers tapped their feet to the ground, sending the bells around their ankles jingling. Another apparel that was worn by slaves. Cas knew this because the slaves in the Sultan’s palace wore these.

           The way the dancer’s bodies moved was hypnotic, so graceful and fluid. When the song ended, the dancers moved to the Sultans table and got to their knees, kowtowing before her. After the guests stopped applauding, Cleopatra spoke up from her table.

           “A gift, for you my lady,” she said with a jovial tone. “I handpicked them just for you.”

           “Oh Cleo,” Kara put a hand to her heart. “You treat me so fine.”

           Beside Cas, Aileen nudged his arm. “C’mon, let’s go see what’s on that table,” she said.

           “I can’t. I have to serve,” said Cas.

           “If someone asks, I needed your help with choosing my food,” she said with a grin. “Let’s go.”

           Cas followed Aileen to the long table off the side of the room. The guests had brought mountains of food. People were already standing and milling around, congregating around the table to see what appetizers there were. There was the platters that the two Native American tribes had brought. The Navajo brought two of their delicacies: Buffalo and ach’ii, which was a dish that featured pig intestines. The Shoshone food looked much more appealing. They brought bluegill fish and frybread that smelled heavenly. There were other plates too. From Egypt, there was Ful Medames and Keshari. From Japan was enough Tempura to feed an army, and a large pot of Miso soup. From Spain there was Arros Negre, an interesting dish that featured seafood Cas couldn’t even recognize. There was also Cuchifritos, Fifeuada, and a dessert dish called Marzipan.

           At the end of the table were mangoes and huge platters of meat that Cas didn’t recognize.

           “What are those?” asked Cas.

           “That one is zebra and the other one is leopard meat,” explained Aileen. She saw Cas’s eyes bulge. She rolled her eyes in understanding. “I know. The leopard meat is specifically for that tribe leader guy with all the arrows sticking out of his chest. Apparently, his health requirements restrict him to a strict diet of mangoes and leopard meat. What a load of crap…”

           Dean stood in a dressing room in front of a mirror. Servants hurried around him, making sure he looked perfect. He stared at himself in the mirror and his heart thudded in his chest. It hasn’t stopped doing that since that morning and his chest was starting to hurt a little bit. He wasn’t ready. There was no way he would ever be ready for this.

           Dean could hear the music down the halls and knew that the different countries were performing for the Sultan. It sounded like the Tahitians were performing. One more dance and then that was it. It was time. Dean heard the song end and the Egyptian one begin. His heart thudded loudly in his ears.

           A servant came and ushered Dean to the door and down the hall. Time seemed to slow down as he walked to the banquet room. He wasn’t ready for this.

           He wasn’t ready for this…

           The Egyptian song ended and voices and applause erupted inside. People began milling around, socializing. Any minute now, the Sultan would stand up and a servant would announce that everyone was to take their seats for the ceremony. Dean heard the crowd quiet down and he knew the Sultan was standing.

           “Please take your seats, for the ceremony is about to begin.” A voice announced, muffled through the door. Dean took in a deep breath as the first note of the song sounded. This was the part when the Sultans harem stood and danced to the pit. They would perform for their Sultan. Then they all kneeled before her and rows of belly dancers in red regalia danced into the crowd and shimmied in anticipation. The doors opened.

           Dean came face to face with the expecting crowds.

           The shimmying and the rolling drums continued as Dean stepped to the center pit. The harem stood and joined him, standing behind him. The sultan stepped down from the platform. Her colorful, beaded dress draped across her body in the most perfect ways. She was beautiful.

           Servants carried a wide brazier to the center of the pit and lit it. The flames danced on the walls. The Sultan stopped on the other side of the fire from Dean. The dancers left the crowd and danced to the pit. They draped thick ropes of flowers around Dean’s and Kara’s necks. Then Dean joined Kara on her side and they joined hands.


	41. Till Death Do Us Part Pt 2 (Sultan AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Father Parpar

Cas stood in the back of the room with Aileen after an escapade of rebellion. They had both raided the food table and tried all the delicacies. Aileen tried everything except for the Shoshone dishes. When the announcement was made to take seats. Aileen and Cas both found a spot in the back, watching from across the crowd. The drums started a-thumpin’ and the harem came down and danced in the center. They performed a dance that Cas had seen before and then they kneeled in front of the Sultan. Belly dancers dressed in red came into the room and dance through the crowd. Then they stopped and shimmied in place, the drums rolling. The doors on one side opened and in walked another troop of dancers and acrobats. In the center of that group was…

           Cas’s breath caught. That was the most beautiful man he’s seen. He felt as though he has known this man for years, yet he’s only just seeing him now.

           The man walked to the pit where the harem joined him and servants placed a large brazier in the center. The Sultan came down and the man joined her. They joined hands and began walking around the fire. The harem stepped back, and the two of them began saying the seven sacred vows.

           “Be my woman, girl, I'mma, Be your man.”

           “Be my woman, girl, I’ll, Be your man.”

           “Yes I be your woman.”

           “Yes I be your baby.”

           “Yes I be whatever that you tell me when you ready.”

           “Yes I be your girl, forever your lady.”

           “You ain’t never gotta worry, I’m down for you baby.”

           “Best believe that when you need that, I’ll provide that you will always have it.”

           “I’ll be on deck keep it in check, When you need that I'mma let you have it.”

           “You beatin’ drum like dum di di dey. I love the dirty rhythm you play.”

           “I wanna hear you calling my name, Like hey mama mama hey mama mama Hey.”

           “Banging the drum like dum di di dey. I know you want it in the worst way.”

           “I wanna hear you calling my name.”

           “Like hey mama mama hey mama mama Hey.”

           They stopped walking and faced each other. They kissed and then the harem all joined hands with them. They were now one.

           The guests all applauded, some throwing rice or flowers.

           “Now, we shall eat!” Kara boomed. The doors all opened and servants walked in carrying platters of food.

           “Oh krust!” Cas exclaimed. “I was supposed to help carry trays out! I’ll find you later Aileen!”

           He ran out the doors and grabbed a tray off one of the carts, going back in with a tray. He served a table with large, burly man sitting at it. He wore a fancy sailor uniform. His epaulettes were gold. He wore a captain’s hat and hand a white beard and eye patch. He scowled when Cas set the tray down and took off the lid. Then he went back out the doors for another tray. The table he served had a family of four sitting at it. The man was none other than…Obama! His wife and daughters were there.

           Cas took the lid off of the tray and looked up, towards the Sultan’s table. He caught the eyes of the new husband and his heart fluttered. Time seemed to stop and Cas stopped moving. The man looked away, and Cas blinked. What was that all about?

           Cas shook his head and continued with his duties.

 

           During dinner, Dean wasn’t able to eat much. He got to know the rest of the harem though, which was an interesting experience. Sitting next to Kara was Paris, the first wife. She was regal and elegant, but also vulgar and not afraid to speak her mind. She flirted with Dean incessantly. On Kara’s other side was Ashley. She was loud and friendly and very talkative. Gacé was sitting next to Ashley. He had fabulous hair and was also very friendly. Kaia sat next to Dean. She was quiet and seemed very bored. She enjoyed making fun of some of the…homelier guests. But other than that, she was very kind and had an interesting sense of humor. And Matt, who was kind and mild tempered to a fault; Paris was pushing him around an awful lot. Colleen was probably the most memorable of them all. Dean recognized her as the Zebra Goddess. She was obnoxious and loud. She was also friendly though, and had a Starbucks sitting on the table in front of her. Madison was loud and laughed a lot.

           Their table was served first then all the other guests were served. Dean watched the servants go around the room serving. His eyes stopped on one servant who was serving Obama and his family. The man looked up and their eyes met. They stared at each other for a moment, Dean’s heart stuttering in his chest. Even at this distance, Dean could see how blue the man’s eyes were. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he wished the man would come serve the Sultans table so that he could get a closer look at his eyes.

           Cas finished serving and went to find Aileen again. She was sitting at the Shoshone table next to the Chief. The chief, Mrs. Shoots Running, was a very old, very small woman. Her wrinkles were the wrinkles to end all wrinkles. She was just…so wrinkly. She wore a traditional shawl and layers of skins. The expression on her face was stern. She glared at Cas as he approached the table.

           “Hey Cas,” said Aileen. “You can sit next to me.” She patted the seat next to her and Cas sat down. Cas started when he noticed Mrs. Shoots Running still glaring at him.

           “Haa, asun tammappu…” she grumbled.

           “She says, ‘oh, it’s this-‘“ Aileen cut herself off and gaped at the woman. “Granny, that’s so rude!”

           “What did she say?” asked Cas.

           “Nothing. Anyway, how did you like the ceremony?” said Aileen.

           “It’s always spectacular. As is everything the Sultan does,” said Cas. “The groom didn’t look very thrilled though…”

           “I noticed that too. I also saw him looking at you,” she said, waggling her eyebrows.

           “What?”

           “Yeah! He’s been looking at you from across the room all night!” she said. “I wonder if the Sultan noticed…”

           A shrill squeal came from behind them just then. Cas turned around and saw a little boy who was probably like four.

           “Leelee! I found cookies!!” he said, squeezing in between Cas and Aileen. He had an armful of almond cookies from the food table.

           “Oh, Chester! You can’t eat all those!” said Aileen. “Put those on the table and just take two. Did you eat anything yet?”

           “No! That food looks yucky!” he said.

           “Well then go get some frybread. Don’t eat just cookies,” she said.

           “Okay,” said Chester as he dumped the pile of cookies on the table. Then he ran off back to the food table.

           “Sorry about that. That’s my little brother,” Aileen explained.

           “That’s okay,” said Cas

 

           Steve looked out at all the guests in the palace. They were jovial. Behind him, Kevin and Harry were talking about going to get food from the food table. But Steve…Steve had his eyes on one person in the midst of the crowd. The man he was looking at was dashing and tall. He wore a yellow captain’s uniform. He sat at a table with another man who was slim with dark hair, pointed ears and sharp eyebrows. That man was wearing a blue uniform, but he is irrelevant because Steve was only looking at the Captain.

           “Who is that man?” Steve asked Harry and Kevin.

           “Oh him? That’s my boi Tiberius! That’s Captain James T. Kirk,” said Harry.

           “He’s the Captain of the Sultan’s armada,” said Kevin.

           “Wait, really?” said Steve. “He a hot piece!”

           “Yeah I think,” said Kevin. “You should go talk to him!”

           “No way! Who do you think I am?” said Steve sassily. But he looked out into the crowd, his eyes landing on the captain again. Steve sighed. If only Kevin were right…

 

           Cas was enjoying some delicious frybread with Aileen and Chester when all of a sudden, the crown got quiet. Cas looked around. There could only be one explanation: The special guest performers have arrived. Craning his neck, Cas saw a man in a colorful suit coat step into the pit, a servant setting up a microphone for him. The man took the microphone off the stand and tested it. He turned around and looked at the crowd. It………………………………………. was…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

           MIKA!!!

           Omg! Cas loves Mika! He couldn’t believe Mika was performing tonight!!

           Mika tapped the microphone again then greeted the crowd.

           “How is everyone tonight?” he asked. The crowd applauded. “I’ve got a song that I wrote especially for Kara. It’s called the Popular Song. I wrote it based off the song from Wicked, and I think it describes Kara quite well.”

           He held the microphone and the music started. *

            _“You were the popular one, the popular chick. It is what it is, now I’m popular-ish.”_

_“Standing on the field with you pretty pompoms, now you’re working at the movie selling popular corn.”_

_“I could have been a mess but I never went wrong, cause I’m putting down my story in a popular song._

_“I said I’m putting down my story in a popular song.”_

The lights flashed and shined all over the crowd. The crowd cheered and clapped. Da club was hype! Colleen, at the Sultan’s table started twerking. People in the crowd started standing and dancing. Cas was getting into the song. He had never heard Mika sing both parts before, without Ariana Grande! He was amazing!

           When the song ended, confetti rained from the ceiling. Nicki Minaj came out and waved to the crowd. She was wearing a pink, skinny dress, and pink hair. She was so fab! The cheering doubled!

           Just then *a beat started up and the lights flashed colorfully. Nicki started rapping and the crowd went wild!

            _“Yo, ayo tonight is the night that I’ma get twisted._

_Myx Moscato and vodka, I’ma mix it_

_Roll that spaceship, we about to get lifted_

_Lift and the President gift is for the gifted_

_This is what you came, this is what you came for_

_You get what you buy, this what you paid for_

_So make sure the stars is what you aim for_

_Make mistakes though._

_I never worry, life is a journey_

_I just wanna enjoy the ride_

_What is the hurry? It’s pretty early_

_It’s okay, we’ll take our time._

_The night is still young_

_The night is still young_

_The night is still young_

_And so are we.”_

Da club was hoppin’ at this point, people jumping, fists pumping. Nicki was rockin’ it out there. Kara and her harem were standing on the table dancing. Lights were flashing. The beat was pumping.

           “ _The night is still young_

_The night is still young_

_The night is still young_

_And so are we.”_

Her dancers threw down behind her. They wore bright colors.

           When the song ended, everyone cheered. Nicki was so on fleek!!! It was amazing. Then she walked right up to Kara and planted one on her! The crowd cheered again.

           Cas and Aileen walked through the crowd looking at all the guests.

           “Aileen? Aileen Smokey Trail?” asked a voice from behind.

           Cas and Aileen turned around.

           “Aileeen! The last time I saw you, you were just a wee thing!” boomed the voice of someone Cas recognized immediately. He was a huge man, buff and wide. He had a curled mustache and goatee. He wore atop his head a huge purple turban. His white suit had a purple sash across it, which was adorned with all his war medals. His bronze harem pants were held up with a white studded belt, and in that belt was a HUGE scimitar. Huge man, huge sword.

           “Ah, Mr. Yousif Yamadan. It’s a pleasure to see you again,” said Aileen.

           “No, the pleasure is all mine! Please, have a seat, the both of you!” he said jovially. Cas knew this man as the Sultan’s number one General. He was a very important man.

           Cas and Aileen both took seats next to him.

           “How do you two know each other?” asked Cas.

           “The sultan, my grandmother, and Yousif are all old friends. Yousif and the Sultan both knew me for a long time,” explained Aileen. “They visit the reservation all the time.”

           They were interrupted just then by loud cheering. They looked and saw in the pit……………………………………………Chip Skylark!!!! Omg! Cas saw the sultan stand up and cheer. He then looked at the new husband and saw his face light up, a pleasant change from the melancholy expression he had been wearing all night.

           The keyboard started up and Chip Skylark took the mic! *

           “ _When I’m feeling lonely_

_Sad as I can be_

_All by myself on an uncharted island_

_In an endless sea”_

_“What makes me happy_

_Fills me up with glee_

_Those bones in my jaw_

_They don’t have a flaw_

_My shiny teeth and me!”_

Cas and Aileen both stood up and started dancing. This was their favorite song! Cas looked over at the new husband and they locked eyes. They both stopped dancing and stared at each other. The cheering crowds disappeared into the background.

           When the song ended, Chip Skylark, Nicki Minaj, and Mika all went to the pit. A group of servants came out rolling a cart with a HUGE birthday cake on it. It was 17 layers, all pink, and had a ton of candles on it. The lights all dimmed and the spotlight shone on the Sultan and Chip, Mika and Nicki. Kara came down from her table and approached the cake. Chip, Mika and Nicki all started singing Happy Birthday. They were harmonizing and shit! When they finished the song, Kara blew out the candles on the cake, which took a lot of breaths cuz there were so many candles. Then the crowd applauded loudly. A servant rolled the cake away to start cutting and serving, while the three celebrities took seats at a table of their own.

           Later in the night, Cas wandered around the party with a bored Aileen. People were socializing and walking around and…Partying. Since it was a party. Cas saw the new husband standing in the crowd talking to someone.

           “That man is so hot…” said Aileen. She was looking at the new husband.

           “What’s his name?” asked Cas.

           “Dean Winchester,” she said.

           Cas had heard the name Winchester before. They were very rich. And very well known.

           “C’mon, let’s go talk to him,” said Aileen.

           Aileen dragged Cas with her to where Dean was. The person he was talking to was his brother, Sam Winchester, and his fiancé, Ezri. Dean blushed and looked away when Cas approached.

           “Hello! My name is Aileen Smokey Trail. I’m a friend of the sultan’s,” said Aileen, shaking hands with Sam, Dean and Ezri. Behind them, Cas noticed Steve talking to Captain Kirk, sitting on his lap.

           “More like Aileen Smokey Babe,” said Dean.

           “It’s good to meet you,” said Sam, rolling his eyes at his brother.

           Aileen then somehow managed to separate her, Sam, and Ezri from Dean and Cas, leaving them alone together.

           “So, how are you enjoying the party tonight?” asked Dean.

           Cas wondered if Dean knew he was a palace servant. Dean seemed to know what he was thinking because he said with a wink, “I feel like Kara’s gonna be mad if she sees me talking to a servant.”

           They talked for an hour, ending up out on a balcony overlooking a firefly populated field. The stars and moon shone down on the palace, illuminating their faces. As they gazed into each other’s eyes, all of a sudden, they heard a scream erupt from inside.

           They ran in to see what the hullabaloo was. Everyone was looking at the African tribal chief and his wife. His wife was the one who screamed.

           “Someone served him cheetah meat instead of leopard meat!” she screamed.

           “His throat is closing up!” someone else yelled.

           “His tongue is huge!!”

           “Omg! He’s gon die!”

           Chaos erupted in the hall. Tribes and war vets and dignitaries started yelling at each other, accusations and threats flying. Then the guns came out. Gunshots rang out, people getting shot. Soon, it was an all-out gunfight bar brawl. Chairs were flying, bullets were zooming, people were screaming, swords were clashing, and glass was breaking. Someone was thrown onto the cake cart and the giant cake went flying into the air, landing on Steve, coating him head to toe in cake. Kirk offered to eat it off of him.

           Yousif Yamadan stood up and stood in front of the Sultan. He drew his giant scimitar and prepared for battle. Enemies fell before him, at the mercy of his sword. People shot at him. The bullets stuck into his chest. They stopped and stared as he flexed, and the bullets all shot out of his chest, flying all over the place.

           “Cas! We have to get out of here!” Aileen shouted, running to them with her brother, Chester.

           “Look!” Dean pointed at the wall behind the sultan. The wall was looking wavy and shimmery. “A way out!”

           They all ran, losing Aileen and her brother in the chaos. Dean and Cas ran to the wall but as they got to the Sultan, someone shot down Yousif Yamadan right in front of them. Then a gunshot hit the sultan right in the stomach. Time slowed. The song *Hmm Whatcha say started playing. The sultan clutched her stomach and fell to her knees.

           Sam, Ezri, Steve, Kirk, Harry and Kevin found them there all of a sudden and they looked to the wall. The sultan’s blood was splattered on it. Her blood started swirling around in a spiral, then opened up into a tunnel of blood. They all grabbed hands and ran into the tunnel, and into the next world.


	42. Will You Be Mine? (Valentine’s Day AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Father

Cas’s house was huge. Bigger than everyone else’s, which was why they were having their slumber party there. Charlie, Sam, Kevin, Harry, Steve, Ezri, and Jo were all there, in Cas’s room, talking about the upcoming school dance.

“Do any of you guys have dates for the Valentine’s Day dance?” asked Charlie.

She got a chorus of ‘no’s in response.

“Why, do you?” asked Cas.

“Well… Not exactly…” said Charlie. “But I was thinking about asking someone.”

“Who?!” asked Jo.

“I was thinking about asking Paris from the Rhythm Fusion gang…” said Charlie, quietly.

Everyone erupted in a chorus of excited exclamations.

“Guys! Guys! I might not,” she said. “I mean, she is in the Rhythm Fusions after all, and besides, she probably already has a date…”

“Charlie, you have to do it!” said Jo.

“Yeah! Do it!” said Kevin.

“Oh, shut up Kevin,” said Charlie. “Are you even going to the dance?”

“I am,” he said. “Harry and I are going together.”

Kevin slung an arm over Harry and Harry responded with a kiss to his cheek. Charlie looked at everyone else. “What about you guys? Are any of you going?”

“I’d like to,” said Ezri.

“Why don’t you go with me?” asked Sam. Everyone went silent and stared at them. Ezri turned a bright shade of scarlet, her eyes wide.

“Yes! Of course I’ll go with you!” she said when she got herself together. “I thought you were going with JJ?”

“Nope. She decided she wanted to go with her friends instead,” said Sam. “What about you Steve? Are you going?”

“I don’t know…maybe. It depends,” he said. He unscrewed the cap of his Mountain Dew and took a sip. He was wearing his plaid pajama pants and a Steven Universe t-shirt.

“Depends on what?” asked Harry.

“If I get the nerve to ask Jimmy K out,” he said. Everyone nodded in understanding. Steve had been trying to get with Jimmy K for all four of their years of high school, but Jimmy always seemed to be dating someone else.

“Cas, what about you?” asked Sam. “Are you going to finally ask out my brother?”

Cas turned the same shade that Ezri was just a second ago before answering. “Maybe. I’ll think about it.”

“Well, you definitely should,” said Sam. “I know he wanted to go with someone.”

“You should do it!” said Jo.

“Are you going?” Cas asked Jo.

“Me? I’m not going!” she said, turning red.

Charlie then remembered why Jo doesn’t want to go. “Oh… yeah, I’m sorry that happened Jo.”

“What happened?” asked Kevin.

“She was going to ask Rey, from her mechanics class, but Finn asked her already,” said Charlie.

“What?” Kevin sat up. “But I heard that Poe is going with Finn!”

Everyone looked around the circle confused. Everyone in the school knew who Poe Dameron was. Everyone was in love with him; teachers, students, parents…and if you weren’t in love with him, you had a crush on him at some point in the four years there. So the fact that he was supposedly going to the dance with both the feral desert child, exchange student, Rey, and super sheltered, super religious new student, Finn, was something to be surprised by.

“Well, you should still ask someone,” said Charlie, once they all got over their confusion.

“Who?” asked Jo.

“Aileen, in our history class, doesn’t have a date,” said Cas.

“Yeah right, as if a knockout like her would ever say yes to me,” said Jo with a huff of laughter.

“You never know!” said Charlie, wiggling her eyebrows at Jo. Jo grabbed a pillow and threw it at Charlie. Charlie knocked it away and grabbed her own pillow to hit back. It soon escalated into a full on pillow fight, everyone laughing and giggling as feathers filled the air.

 

The school was buzzing with excitement over the upcoming Valentine’s Day dance. There were heart letters littering the halls, and carnations that were tossed away by some unhappy people. Everyone was scrambling to find a valentine to go with, or gossiping about other couples. Of course, Poe Dameron and his supposed ‘two dates’ was the talk of the school. Cause’ he’s always the talk of the school…Steve thought, bitterly. Honestly, he didn’t know what anyone saw in that guy!

Steve rounded the corner on his way to his next class and saw him. James T Kirk, aka Jimmy K, aka Adonis…

Steve shuffled back and pressed his back against the wall around the corner. Now was his chance. Jimmy was alone and he could go right up to him and say…

“Hey Jimmy! I’ve been looking all over for you!”

Steve perked up at the sound of the unfamiliar voice. He peeked around the corner and his stomach dropped. Meg, from Crowley’s squad of goons, had her demon arms around Jimmy’s neck and her black demon eyes were eyeing Jimmy’s face and her demon forked tongue licked her demon blood red lips. (She didn’t really have a forked tongue, but she might as well have).

Steve tore his eyes away from the scene before him and ran away, tears prickling his eyes.

 

Meanwhile, Cas was gazing at the back of Dean’s head all hour. They had their English class together. Cas sat in the back, while Dean sat near the front with Jo, Ash, and Pam. Jo was telling them about her success in asking Aileen to the dance.

Cas ripped a piece of paper out of his notebook and wrote down: Will you be my Valentine for the dance?

Under that, he drew two boxes, for x-ing out: one was labeled Yes, and the other was labeled Definitely. He then folded the paper up and passed it to the person in front of him, telling them it’s for Dean. They passed it to another person, who passed it again, getting closer to Dean, but just as it reached the person right behind Dean, the teacher snatched it out of their hand.

“There will be no passing notes in my class,” she growled, dropping the note in the drawer of her desk.

Cas sighed and sunk down in his chair.

 

The next day, Cas was ready. He was going to slip a note into Dean’s locker. It was much the same as the note from yesterday. Dean’s locker was in view and it was unattended. Just a few more steps…

But just then, someone rushed past Cas, bumping into him and almost knocking him over. The letter fell out of his hand and Cas watched as it fell right into a garbage can. He stared at the can for a second before rushing to it to see if the letter could be salvaged. Alas, it could not be, for it landed in a Styrofoam bowl of cottage cheese.

Cas groaned and made his way to his class.

 

After school that day, Cas sat at home with the phone in his hands. This time, he would get to ask Dean, he was sure of it. He dialed the Winchester home number and waited for an answer.

“Who is this and how did you get this number?”

Ohhhh….It was John…Cas spent enough time with the Winchester family to know all about John. He was pretty conservative, and Cas had a feeling that he already suspected that Dean was bi. He thinks John might have started suspecting a while ago, and Dean thinks so too.

“Hi, Mr. Winchester…” Cas said.

“What? Who is this?” he asked. “Is this that Novak boy? Castiel?”

“Yes sir,” said Cas, cringing.

Great, how was Cas supposed to do this now? He definitely didn’t want to get Dean in trouble.

“Ah, sorry sir, I accidentally dialed this number,” said Cas. “It was nice talking to you Mr. Winchester.”

Cas hurried to hang up.

Why was the universe working against him so much?

 

It was only a few days from the dance. Steve was still dateless, but had decided to go anyways. Jo had gotten Aileen to go with her, Harry and Kevin had each other, and Sam had Ezri.

Cas was leaning against his locker watching the students go by. Charlie was next to him, talking about her scrape with death the night before, when she almost crashed into a ditch. Just then, the Rhythm Fusions came through the front doors of the school. The crowd parted for them and the sun shined behind them, silhouetting them in a golden glow. Their hair all billowed back, like it always did when they entered a building or room.

Cas spotted Paris, looking fabulous in a gender-nondescript outfit, her hair blowing around her face. As the gang strutted past them in the hallway, the students making way for them, Cas elbowed Charlie, who had stopped to stare along with most of the hallway. She jumped to attention and rushed to catch up with them. Cas watched as she pulled Paris aside and asked her to the dance. Paris seemed to consider for a moment, then she nodded and shrugged.

Charlie’s eyes widened and she smiled bigger than Cas had ever seen. The Rhythm Fusions moved along and Charlie ran back to Cas.

“Did you see that?!” she squealed.

“I did.”

“She actually said yes!” said Charlie.

“Jeez, they’re not gods. They’re just people like the rest of us. I’m sure Paris puts her pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us,” said Cas.

“You’re just jealous,” said Charlie. Then her eyes widened and she slapped Cas’s arm. “Cas! Look!”

She pointed to the front entrance where Dean was walking in with his brother. Cas almost tripped over his own feet in his haste pushing away from his locker. Dean spotted him through the hoard of students. He waved to Sam, who went his own way, and made his way to Cas.

“Hey Cas! What’s up?” said Dean.

“Not much,” said Cas. “Actually, I was wondering if-“

“Hey, Cas, do you have a date to the dance?” Dean interrupted.

Cas blinked. He couldn’t believe this. As soon as he found his voice again, he made up his mind and said, “Yes. Yes I do have a date to the dance. He’s the coolest guy in school, and the best looking, and his name is-“

“God dammit Cas! You’re gonna let that asshole have a foursome? Jesus Christ, a threesome was enough!”

“What?” Cas paused. He realized that Dean must have thought he was talking about Poe. “No! What I was going to say was, and his name is Dean Winchester. Dean, will you go to the dance with me?”

Dean stared at him, his voice seeming to run away on him.

“I…” Dean stuttered. A smile spread across his face. “Yeah. I’ll go to the dance with you, Cas. C’mon, let’s get to class.”

Dean took Cas’s hand, threading their fingers together, and they walked to class.

 

The night of the dance arrived and Cas couldn’t be more excited. He was adjusting his bowtie in the mirror, listening to Steve talk about some anime over facetime on his phone, which was propped up by the mirror.

“Hey, Steve. Why’d you decide not to go?” Cas interrupted. “You could’ve gotten a date for tonight.”

“I don’t like the idea of dates because if I want to be with someone in that capacity, I would just want to be with them without the social pressure of the idea of a date. Why not just enjoy being around that person like a normal human being? Why try to make it something it isn’t?” (Proudfoot, Steve. 2015. Thursday Night).

Cas froze and processed that. He didn’t even want to dignify that with an answer. Just then, there was a ding! And Steve sat straight up in front of his laptop screen, picking up his phone.

“Oh my god! I just got a text!” he said. “A text from Jimmy Kirk!”

Cas watched him cradle his phone and read the text out loud with wide eyes.

“It says, ‘Hey Cherry Pie ;) Sorry this is so last minute, but do you want to go to the dance with me tonight?’ Yes! Yes I want to go with you!!!” Steve cried, frantically typing in his reply.

Cas chuckled and shook his head. “What happened to ‘I don’t believe in the idea of a date’?”

“I gotta go get ready!” Steve said, closing his laptop, ending the call.

Cas laughed and looked at himself one last time in the mirror. The doorbell rang downstairs and Cas ran to get it before his parents could. He opened the door to see Dean standing there on the porch. He looked incredible in his suit, his hair slicked back, a smirk pulling at his mouth.

“Ready?” he asked.

Cas nodded. The impala was sitting in the driveway. He called into the house to his parents that he was leaving, and he walked out, arm in arm with Dean.

 

When the Impala pulled up to the school, the school was hoppin’. Everyone was there for the dance.

Dean got out of the car and opened the passenger side door for Cas. From the backseat, Sam and Ezri got out, both of them looking super spiffy in their evening wear.

When they got inside, the gym was the place to be! The song *The Fix, by Nelly, feat. Jeremih was playing and the crowd was dancing. It was all really somethin’ else!

As Cas stood and watched the people coming into the gym, he could feel the beat of the music in his chest. He saw Jo and Aileen come in, arm in arm. There was Charlie, escorting Paris, who had to have the most fabulous dress Cas had ever seen. There was Poe freaking Dameron with his two dates, getting greeted by pretty much everyone in the gym. The three of them looked pretty good though. The Rhythm Fusions weren’t far behind. They all looked so good that Cas was afraid that the gym might catch fire.

Harry and Kevin followed, already draped over each other, ready for the dance floor. Then Crowley came in, dressed in his finest black suit. He was followed by his gang, Meg, Ruby, Lilith, Azazel, Abaddon, and Alistair. Behind them came Steve, with Jimmy K. Steve was dressed in his dressiest plaid pajama pants, a Sun Bros t-shirt, and his finest fedora.  They were followed by Jimmy’s gang, which consisted of Spock- Kirk’s bff- Chekov, Bones, Scotty, Sulu, and Uhura.

Cas also saw Nathan and Zach come in with their group of friends. Phyllis was there, in a light green dress that showed off all of her tattoos. Colin Creevy came in and spotted Kaia with the Rhythm Fusions right away. JJ came in with her group of friends in tow, looking as fab as ever.

And, wandering around, making sure no fooligans did anything wrong, was the school principal, Dumbledore, accompanied by his date, Gandalf.

Everybody who was anybody was there for the Valentine’s Day dance.

 

Steve was ready to dance, and he was just itching for Jimmy to ask him. Finally, after waiting for so long, the song *Thinking Out Loud, by Ed Sheeran came on.

“Cherry Pie, may I have this dance?”

Steve turned around and came face to face with Jimmy. The lights shined in just the right way, and the music slowed in the perfect moment and Steve gasped. Just then, he knew that Jimmy was the one.

Steve took Jimmy’s outstretched hand and was led onto the dance floor. They gazed into each other’s eyes and Steve barely registered the hand that found its place at his back. They glided across the dance floor, everyone else in the gym disappearing. The lights shined around them, making their faces seem to each other like they were glowing.

“Steve,” Jimmy whispered. “Steve, I have to tell you something.”

Steve’s hand drifted from Jimmy’s shoulder down to his chest. “Anything, Jimmy.”

“Cherry Pie, I’ve been in love with you since the moment I laid eyes on you, in our freshman year. And I’ve loved you from every moment-“

“Shhhh,” Steve had put his finger to Jimmy’s lips, silencing him. “I know.”

They swayed to the music, absorbed in each other’s embrace, and Steve laid his head on Jimmy’s chest.

 

After a while of socializing and maneuvering around the crowded gym, Cas was beginning to get a little claustrophobic. The socializing was fine for a while, he met a lot of great people. He talked to Poe Dameron, who turned out to be actually pretty cool and normal and not the jerk stud he’s been made out to be. He met the girl Jo was originally going to ask out, Rey, who also turned out to be really cool. (And quite intimidating. Cas understood why Jo liked her; they would make a terrifying pair). And he met Finn, who was fiercely protective of Rey.

He also met Kirk’s gang, Spock, Chekov, Sulu, Scotty, Bones, and Uhura. They were…well, they were an interesting bunch. Spock didn’t say much. Cas could hardly understand Scotty because his accent was so thick. Chekov was complaining that the dj rejected his request for some Dionne Warwick. Sulu was very distracted, too busy running around with various girls. Bones was rude, and Uhura was super friendly and nice, apologizing for Bones’ behavior. Cas liked her.

But after a while, Cas needed some fresh air. Between the loud music and the dark crowded gym, it was getting very uncomfortable. He looked around, but couldn’t find Dean anywhere. Dean had a lot of friends at school. Not to mention, Cas knew that Dean wanted to spend some time embarrassing Sam with his date.  

“Hey Cas, there you are.”

Cas turned around to find Dean. “You wanna get out of here?” he asked.

Cas nodded.

 

The Impala rumbled to a stop and they got out. They were parked by an overlook, overlooking the city. It was a wonderful view, but Cas had a hard time looking away from Dean. He really did look amazing in his suit. And against the skylight of the city and the stars, he was practically glowing.

The radio was on in the Impala on a classic rock station. The song *American Pie came on. Cas felt arms slip around his waist. He turned around in the arms to face Dean, slipping his arms around his neck. They swayed to the music, and Dean turned him around when the music picked up.

They danced by the light of the city, and the music drifted up to the stars, making the stars fall and swirl around the pair, until everything disappeared into the light.


	43. Family Reunions (Star Wars AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Luci

Tatooine was not exactly Dean’s dream planet.  Like, there was sand everywhere.  No matter how many times he shook out his shoes it wouldn’t get out.  And there was like no people anywhere.  Sand People, sure, there was plenty of them.  Droids were everywhere too.  But Dean had like one friend, and she left to become a pilot recently.  Aunt Colleen and Uncle Matt weren’t the best company, either.  All they talked about was farming, which was lame.  Dean wanted to explore, to really get out and see the galaxy.  But he couldn’t because of the harvest.  Stupid harvest.

               “Deeeeean!” Aunt Colleen called.  “Deeeeeeeeeeean!”

               Dean sighed and stood up, running outside to where his aunt was.  “Yes Aunt Colleen?”

               “I think your uncle is looking at droids, make sure he gets a translator!”

               “Ok!” Dean said, running off to find his uncle.

               Uncle Matt was indeed looking to buy droids that the Jawa were selling.  They were like door-to-door sales people, but for droids.

               “Oh, hello Dean,” Uncle Matt remarked upon seeing his nephew.  “Will you inspect those R2 units?  We need to get one.”

               “Aunt Colleen requests a translator.”

               “Well luckily this one can translate, right?” he said, gesturing to a protocol droid to his left.

               “Yes, sir.  I am fluent in over six million forms of communication,” said the droid. He was humanoid in shape and was in really good condition, except for a crack on his head in the shape of a lightning bolt.  “I am H3PO, and-“

               “Yeah, that’s a bit of a mouthful.  We’ll call you Harry,” said Uncle Matt.

               “But sir, it’s not customary that you-“

               “I don’t care.  I’d tell you to fight me but I have to get a R2 droid as well.  Dean, do any of those look good?”

               “This one is pretty good,” Dean said.  Next to him was a blue R2 unit that went _beep bop boop._

               “That is R2K2, sir.  We have worked together and he’s pretty alright I suppose,” said Harry.

               “Just pretty alright?” asked Uncle Matt.  “Ok we’ll take him.  Also I’m naming him Kevin.”

               Kevin went _beeeeeeeeeeeeeep._

               It was a good sort of beep.

               Dean found himself cleaning the droids for his uncle, which was disappointing because all he really wanted to do was go to the Tosche station to pick up some power convertors.  Uncle Matt wanted these droids clean though, so that’s what Dean had to do.

               “You know, Uncle Matt can be so unfair,” Dean complained as he worked on cleaning Kevin.  “All I want are some power convertors but here I am cleaning up you lot.”

               “I’m sure you can get those later, Master Dean,” Harry said.

               “I’d better.  I need some power converted real bad.  What’s this?”  Dean asked, prying at something on Kevin.

               Suddenly a hologram image appeared.  It was of a man, with long, brown hair that was tied up. He was clothed in all white.

               “Help me Obi Wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope,” it said, over and over again.

               “What the hell is this?” Dean asked.  “Kevin, who is that?”

               Kevin went _beeeeep._

               “Kevin says he’s on a secret mission, and only Obi Wan Kenobi can hear the full message,” Harry translated.

               “I know someone with that last name.  Old James Kenobi, but they’re probably not related, seeing as Kenobi is such a common last name.  And I don’t really want to talk to James.  He’s sort of crazy, he’s always muttering something about how this franchise is all wrong and it should be ‘Star Trek’ and not ‘Star Wars,’ whatever that means.”

               “Where does he live?”

               “Up in the hills, I think.”

               And that was all Kevin needed to hear.  He took off, escaping the house, headed to see Old James.

               “Wait come back!” Dean shouted.

               “Sir, maybe we should just go with him, because if you stop him he’ll probably just run off again and then we’ll have to chase him down and we might get attacked by Sand People or something,” Harry remarked.

               “Good point, let’s go.”

               After a short ride in Dean’s Landspeeder, he and the two droids came across something that was more of a shack then a house.

               “Well, this is it,” said Dean, jumping out of the speeder.  “Doesn’t even look like anyone’s home.”

               Dean approached the door, the two droids following behind him.  He slowly knocked on the door, half hoping no one would answer.

               After a few seconds of no response, Dean was ready to give up.  But then, the door slowly started to creak open.  The face of an older, bearded man appeared.

               “If you’re one of those door-to-door droid salesmen, I’m not interested!” the man said.

               “What? No, these are mine.  Well, this one might be yours, I’m really not sure what’s up with that.  Anyways, we’ve got a message for you,” Dean said.

               The man glared at Dean for a moment before saying, “Yeah ok come in.”

               “So,” Dean started as he walked into the old man’s home.  “Do you have like a brother or something named Obi Wan ‘cause I know you’re James. This message is for Obi Wan.  Wow your parents were like super creative for one of you then you got stuck with the name James.  Nice.”

               “Dean trust me my parents aren’t the messed up ones.”

               “What does that mean?”

               “I’m not even going to tell you you’ll find out soon enough.  But yes, I am Obi Wan.”

               “I thought you were James though.”

               “I am both.”

               “Whoa cool!  I want a second name.  How about Luke?  I’ve always liked that name.”

               “Would you focus, please?  This message?”

               “Oh right.  Kevin, will you play it?”

               Kevin made another happy beeping noise and began to play the message.  As it turned out, the man was none other than Prince Sam of Alderaan.  He had been taken captive by the empire and placed important information within Kevin’s memory system that needed to be delivered to the Rebellion.

               “Guess it’s time to come out of retirement then,” James muttered to himself.  “Sounds like the Rebellion is in trouble.”

               “What did you do before your retirement?” Dean asked, now finding the man a lot more rad than he had originally thought.

               “I was the captain of a ship for my home planet. The ship was called the _USS Enterprise_.  Had a wonderful crew, oh the adventures we had.  Oh course, now I’m stuck in this franchise and I’m pretty sure that planet doesn’t even exist here.  That’s alright though, everything is fine.”  He turned to look at Dean.  “There is something I must give to you before we leave.  It belonged to your father.”

               “You knew my father?”

               “Literally everyone knows your father, Dean.”

               “What do you mean?”

               James ignored the question.  He rummaged around inside of an old chest before pulling out a cylindrical metal object.  “This belonged to your father.  It’s a light saber, one of the finest weapons in the galaxy.  DO NOT point it at anything when you turn it on or so help me God this will be over quickly.”

               Dean carefully aimed the saber and turned it on. A brilliant beam of light appeared, and Dean knew immediately what it was to be used for.

               “Dean, I can feel the Force within you, just like it was in your father before you.  If you come with me to Alderaan, I can train you to use these powers.”

               “Like you trained my father!”

               “No, no I’ll do a better job this time.”

               “What do you mean by that?”

               “It’s really not that important.”

               “I feel like it might be though.  Like it could be essential information for me to know regarding the plot of my own life.”

               “It’s really not.  So, will you come with me?”

               “Well, I should really get back to my aunt and uncle…” Dean paused for a moment, thinking about how they would never let him do what he wanted or even buy some power convertors… “You know what, I think I will come with you.  My aunt and uncle will be fine.  It’s not like they died tragically while I was out looking for you or anything and even if they did it wouldn’t really matter to me or the plot of the rest of the series.”

               “That’s… the spirit?  I guess?”

               “So how are we getting to Alderaan?”

               “The name’s Solo.  Ezri Solo.  And this is my copilot, Casbacca.  We can get you to Alderaan.  It’ll cost you, though.”

               Dean and James had met up with Ezri and Casbacca, the Wookie, in a cantina in a nearby town.  Ezri was one of the greatest smugglers in the galaxy.  She also had quite a few people hunting for her, mainly the malicious Trump the Hutt.

               “We can pay it,” James said, in reference to the cost.  To Dean he said, “You save a lot of money by living alone in a shack.”  Then, to Ezri, “We need to get there, and fast.  No questions asked is my only condition.”

               “I don’t like asking questions anyways. When do we leave?”

               “Immediately, if possible.”

               “Sounds good to me.”

               “Alright Casbacca, take us out of hyperdrive,” Ezri said.  “We should be approaching Alderaan- what the hell?”

               “What? What’s wrong?”  Dean asked.

               “Alderaan should be right here.”

               “Where did it go?”

               “How am I supposed to know?”

               “Wait,” said James.  “Look out there.”

               Dean, Ezri, Casbacca, Kevin, and Harry all looked out into the distance.

               “Is that, a small moon?” Dean asked.

               “No, I think it’s a ship,” said Ezri.

               “No way, it’s too big.”

               “Let’s get out of here.  I have a bad feeling about this.  Cassy, put us into hyperdrive.”

               Casbacca made a _ewhhhh_ kind of noise.

               “What do you mean we can’t move?”

               Casbacca basically did this: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯.

               “Well that’s helpful.”

               Slowly but surely, Ezri’s ship, the Millennium Falcon, was being pulled into the space station.

               “This is bad, this is very bad,” Ezri muttered. “This isn’t what we signed up for at all.”

               Just then, Kevin started to _beep bop booooop_ again.

               “Master Dean,” Harry said, “Kevin’s scanners are picking up a life sign aboard that ship that he believes may belong to Prince Sam.”

               “Who the hell is Prince Sam?”  Ezri asked.

               “We can save him!” Dean exclaimed.

               “Whoa, I didn’t sign up for no rescue mission.”

               “I mean, you didn’t technically sign anything.”

               “Very funny.  What are we going to do?”

               “I have an idea,” James said, “that just might work.”

               Once the ship had landed within the space station, two soldiers were sent aboard it to search it.  Luckily they weren’t armed, and Ezri easily knocked them out on her own.

               “Nice,” Dean remarked.

               “Yeah, just put the armor on,” Ezri said, throwing him one of the Stormtrooper’s helmets.

               Once fully disguised, Ezri and Dean made their way out of the Falcon, where they met up with another Stormtrooper.

               “Anyone on there?” the Stormtrooper asked.

               “Um, nope.  Not a single person,” Dean answered.  “Say, where did everyone else go?” he asked, looking around and noticing that the port was completely void of people besides the three of them.

               “Some sort of meeting I think.  I was told to watch the ship.”

               “Well, that’s convenient,” said Ezri.

               “Do you happen to have a gun and maybe some hand cuffs on you?” Dean asked.

               “Oh yeah, here you go,” the Stormtrooper said, handing the hand cuffs to Dean and the gun to Ezri.

               “Thanks, pal,” Ezri said, before shooting the Stormtrooper in the head.  “Alright, let’s go.”

               “That was a lot easier than I thought it would be,” Dean remarked.

               “Yeah, no kidding.  Cassy!  James!” she called up into the ship.  “You can come out now.”

               As they made their way out of the ship, Harry called down to them, “What about Kevin and I?  What do we do, Master Dean?”

               “Just, stay in the ship and don’t get caught I guess,” he answered.

               “Oh my, I don’t care much for this plan.”


	44. Family Reunions Pt 2 (Star Wars AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Luci

Ezri and Dean, still disguised as Stormtroopers, and Casbacca, who was now in handcuffs, were walking towards the prison where Prince Sam was being held.

               “Hey!  What’re you doing with that Wookie?” another Stormtrooper asked, stopping them in the hall.

               “Just taking him down to the prisons, that’s all,” said Ezri.

               “Yup, no ulterior motives at all,” said Dean.

               The Stormtrooper stared at them for a moment before saying, “Well you’re doing a fantastic job!  Keep up the good work, friends!”

               “Well, thanks!” Dean responded.

               The Stormtrooper turned to keep walking, and when they weren’t looking, Ezri shot them from behind.

               “Why’d you do that?” Dean asked.

               “They were too friendly.  Come on, we’re almost there.”

               About another minute or two of walking and Dean, Ezri, and Casbacca found themselves in the prison, which, like the port, was strangely void of people.

               “This is certainly easier than I thought it would be,” Dean remarked.

               “Don’t speak too soon, let’s find Sam.”

               This was also easier than expected.  Ezri typed some things into another thing and boom, the cell door was opened.

               “Prince Sam,” Dean said, removing his helmet with way more flare than was probably necessary.  “We’re here to rescue you.  We’re with Obi Wan Kenobi.”

               “You mean, he’s here?  Where is he?”  Sam exclaimed, standing up and making his way out of the cell.

               “Well, he’s not _here_ here, but he’s nearby.  We need to get back to the ship.”

               They met up with Casbacca and Ezri, who was also not wearing her helmet.  “Are we good to go?”  she asked.

               “Yeah, but how are we going to get Sam out of here without anyone noticing?” Dean asked.

               “Well, everyone seems to be at that meeting or whatever, so that shouldn’t be hard.”

               “Meeting?” Sam asked.  “Oh no, they’re charging the weapon again, we’ve got to get out of here, now.”

               “Weapon?  What weapon?”

               “The Death Star in itself is a weapon that can destroy entire planets.  That’s what happened to my home planet, Alderaan.  Nearly everyone on board is needed in order to charge the weapon. You see, it’s powered by several hundred people all working together and pushing this giant wooden wheel with spokes coming out of it around in a circle.  It’s quite an ineffective way to charge a weapon.”

               “That sounds really stupid,” Dean remarked.

               “It really is, but it’s effective.  How long ago did they go to this meeting?”

               “Maybe half an hour ago?”

               “It’s almost charged then, we should really get going.”

               “Why?  It’s not like we’re in any danger being aboard the weapon.”

               “Yes, true, but it’s the perfect cover.  And this means they’re planning to destroy a planet, and all the debris is not going to be fun to escape in.”

               “Well luckily for you, I’m the best pilot in the galaxy,” Ezri said.  “Casbacca and I can get us outta here, no sweat.”

               Casbacca made an approving _eghhh_ sound.

               “Alright, let’s get moving then!”

               The four of them made their way out of the prison and down the hall, back to where the Millennium Falcon was waiting.  They made it back without any trouble.

               “Is everyone ready to go?”  Ezri asked, upon boarding her ship.

               “Wait!” Dean exclaimed while taking off his Stormtrooper armor.  “Where’s James?”

               “He left, Master Dean,” said Harry.  “He said he felt a strong pull in the Force, whatever that might mean.  He mentioned there being someone aboard with powers he had not felt in a long time.”

               “We need to leave, now!  We can’t wait!” said Sam.

               “We are not leaving him behind!” Dean exclaimed.

               “The weapon’s going to be ready to fire any minute!”

               “Wait here then, I’ll be right back!”  Dean said, then took off- running- to find James.

               Dean didn’t know how but within him he could feel exactly where to go.  The Force was everywhere around him, and it led him straight to James and Darth Vader.

               The two men were locked in combat in one of the wider hallways of the Death Star.  Darth Vader was wielding a red light saber, clashing it with James’s green. By the looks of things, Darth Vader was winning.  It appeared that Dean had arrived just in time.

               Dean pulled out his light saber, blue ready to clash with the red.  James saw this, and gave Dean a small nod before lowering his weapon, which allowed Darth Vader to take one final swing, killing him.

               “James!  Noooo! How could you!” Dean yelled to Darth Vader before running at him, light saber raised.

               The two met in battle, Dean’s rage fueling him. He may have never fought with a light saber before, but that wouldn’t stop him from avenging his friend’s death.

               “Dean, think about your actions,” Darth Vader began to say as their fight led them to a dangerous open walkway above practically nothing.

               “Maybe you should think about yours!”

               “What does that even mean?  Listen Dean, I know Obi Wan told you some things, about your past, about your father.”

               “What do you know about my father?” Dean said, again attempting to strike Darth Vader.

               Darth Vader retaliated, swinging at Dean, but in the process slicing him hand off.  Dean cried out in pain, staring at his bloody stump.  He now had no way to defend himself, having dropped his light saber over the edge.  He crawled backwards, as far away from Darth Vader that he possibly could.

               “Oh shit sorry!” Darth Vader said.  “This is not how I wanted this to go at all.”

               “What do you mean by that?”  Dean cried out.

               “Dean, your father is still alive.  Like you, the Force is strong within him.”

               “You mean, _James_ is my father?!”

               “What, no, Dean I said still _alive.”_

“I get it you killed my father no need to rub salt in a wound.”

               “Obi Wan was not your father!   _I_ am your father!”

               Dean stared at Darth Vader in horror before saying, “No thanks.”

               “What?  This is not a choice.  No more of a choice than you having a twin brother.”

               “What, who?”

               “Prince Sam, he is your brother.”

               “This is like, the most awkward family reunion ever.”

               “Dean, forget that and come with me.  Together, we can rule this galaxy!  I can train you in the ways of the Force!”

               “Again, no thanks.  See you later, dad.”

               With that, Dean let go, falling, apparently to his death.  Luckily, some wind blew him down a tunnel which dropped him in the port where the Falcon was.  What luck!

               “Master Dean, are you alright?” Harry asked, rushing out of the ship with Kevin closely following.

               “As alright as you can be after losing a hand and finding out your dad is an evil dictator.  Oh, I also have a twin brother so that’s nice.  And James is dead.  Where’s Sam and Ezri?”

               “Well you see, the information Kevin was carrying was the plans for the Death Star and how to destroy it.  Sam and Ezri went to take care of that.”

               “Well, that can’t be easy.”

               “It’s quite simple actually.  There’s a self-destruct feature built into the station. All one needs to do is pull the lever.”

               “That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard in my life.”

               “That’s lazy writing for you, sir.”

               (Kevin, Harry, and Dean all turn to look at the camera dramatically)

               “Anyways,” Harry continued, “we should get aboard the ship, as they’ll be returning any minute.”

               Any minute was actually more like right then. Ezri and Sam approached Dean, Harry, and Kevin, panting.

               “We have literally three minutes to get off this station,” Ezri said.  “Get in the Falcon, now!”

               Sam helped Dean to his feet and together the five of them made their way into the ship.

               “Get ready, this might not be a pretty take off,” Ezri said.

               It was a bit rough, but Casbacca and Ezri got the Falcon out of the Death Star.

               “Switch us into hyperdrive, Cassy,” Ezri said.

               Casbacca made a distressed _eghhhhh._

“What do you mean you can’t?”

               “The weapon, it’s fully charged, and aimed right at us!” Sam exclaimed.

               “Cas, seriously switch us into hyperdrive, we need to get out of here.”

               Casbacca was trying, but to no avail.

               “If I might speak,” Harry said.  “But I believe that switch there is usually on when you go into hyperdrive.”

               “What, you think you can fly my ship better than I can?” Ezri asked Harry.  Then, to Casbacca she said, “Flip that switch!”

               That was all it took.  Simultaneously, the Falcon switched into hyperdrive, the weapon fired, and the Death Star blew up.  But luckily our heroes were safe.

               Kevin suddenly started to made _beep bop bop booooop beep_ noises again.

               “Kevin’s scanners picked up on the destruction of the Death Star,” Harry said.  “He says both Darth Vader and the Emperor, Saruman, were killed in the blast.”

               “Yay!” everyone exclaimed.  Everyone except Dean.

               “Hey, Sam.  I gotta tell you something,” Dean said.  “You may not like it.”

               “What is it, Dean?” Sam asked.

               “Well, basically we’re twins and Darth Vader was our father.  Also, can I get some medical attention?  I’m gonna pass out from blood loss real soon.”

               “Twins! Cool!”

               “No seriously guys I think I’m dying.”

               As our heroes flew off into space, a black hole opened up right in front of them, swallowing them out of that galaxy and into the next.


	45. 50 Shades of Subs (Sub Shop AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Professor Ashlex

On his lunch break, Cas decided to walk over to the Subway for his usual BMT. It was a particularly nice day out, so he thought he would take the long way through the park. The birds were chirping, the sun was shining, children were laughing. There really couldn’t be a better day than this. There were young couples walking hand in hand, mothers and fathers pushing their children on the swings or catching them as the came down the slide. Old gentlemen were playing checkers at the small tables. Kites were high in the air. What a great time to be alive. When he arrived at the Subway there was a bit of a line, but it didn’t bother him. It was chance to make new friends and figure out what’s going on around town.

Ding.  “Hello, welcome to Subway,” said a young, slender woman wearing a green subway polo and black leggings. She had brown hair pulled back and sticking out of her hat and stood behind the counter. She looked flustered with the lunch rush, which was not ending anytime soon. “Hey Sammy, the paperwork can wait. Come out here and help me,” she called into the back room.

“But I don’t know how to do this.” From behind the fake brick wall came a tall brunette kid. He look nervous. This must be his first day.

“No better way to learn than by just getting in there.” The slender woman sounded cheery and reassuring. “Now,” she said, turning to the lunch line, “the first person to complain or huff or make some rude comment, well, you’re going to be walking out of here with no sandwich. Got it!?” Wow, she meant business. Sammy got behind the vegetable station and waited for instruction.

“Okay, right here is your cheat sheet,” the young woman was pointing to the top of the glass covering the food. “This tells you how much of every veggie to put the sub. Think you can handle it?”

Sammy looked as if he was going to break down at any second. “Y-yeah. I think so.”

“Good, I knew you were the right man for the job.” The slender woman gave Sammy a smile and a wink and then went on to the next customer. “Alright sir, what can I get for ya?”

A man in a business suit walked up staring at his watch. He obviously didn’t have long for lunch. “Yeah, I’m gonna need a footlong Meatball Marinara.”

“What kind of bread?”

“Flatbread.”

“That has to be toasted, is that okay?”

“Yeah, that’s fine.” The man in the suit was starting to get impatient, but didn’t complain.

“What kind of cheese?”

“Mozzarella. Could I get the onions and peppers toasted on with it?” The man in the business suit was a man who knew what he liked.

“Of course you can,” said the slender woman in a cheerful tone.

“Oh, I forgot. Could I get double meat on that?” The man looked at her with innocent eyes. The slender woman got a look in her eyes that could only mean one thing. She wanted him to take back what he said and would do anything to make that happen. But being in customer service, that would not be possible. But forcing a smile on her face she answered with, “Sure you can have double meat.” She said this through gritted teeth. The man blushed with embarrassment. The woman put the extra meat balls on the flatbread and with all her concentration, balanced the sub on the thin piece of tissue paper and set it on the tray without dropping a drop of sauce. She placed it in the toaster, pushed the corresponding button and looked back at the man. “Will that be all?” she said, forcing a happy tone.

“Nope, that’s it.” The businessman was looking everywhere but the woman.

“Sammy, when you are done adding what I am assuming is extra of almost every vegetable,” She turned her head slightly to shoot the man a piercing look. “Just call me over and I’ll show you how to close it. Okay?”

“Okay,” Sammy said, trying to look determined to begin his first task.

“Okay,” the woman breathed. “Who’s next?” And just like that, her good mood was back.

“Hey Ashley. I’ll just have my usual,” said a girl with copper hair. “How’s your day going?”

“It’s going great Ezri. I finally found someone who I am sure will be a perfect fit for this job,” Ashley said, beaming at Sammy. “He is the first person I hired in months who has any brains. It’s his first day and he’s already doing 10 times better than the last guy,” she said with a slight giggle.

“What’s so funny?” Ezri asked, slightly confused. “Was the last guy really that thick he couldn’t put spinach on a sub?”

“He was so thick he couldn’t figure out how to fill out his paperwork,” Ashley said with a sigh. “I don’t even think he got his name right. How hard is it to spell Proudfoot?”

“Well, at least you found someone who can do the job.” Ezri glanced over at Sammy through her eyelashes blushing slightly. “And one who is really cute.” And with a giggle she was gone.

“Hey Ashley, could you come help me close this?” Sammy’s gloves were covered in sauce, and the businessman was looking at his watch and rolling his eyes.

“Well, well, well. Would you look at that. Almost every vegetable on there.” Ashley glared at the guy over her glasses that were sliding down her nose. “Alright Sammy. Watch and learn. First you take your knife in your dominate hand and with your left hand, pull up the left corner. Then you wanna push all of the vegetables and meat into the middle of the sub. This works for every sub, this sandwich in particular is just, a little… challenging. You know, with the sauce and all. Then, when all the contents of the sandwich look like they are secure, you fold it all over hold it down and cut it in half. Usually you get rid of the tissue paper but since this sub is a little messy you wanna wrap it up before you wrap it in the subway paper. Ooo, I’ll show you how to wrap too.” Ashley placed the sub in the middle of the paper and wrapped it nice and snug and tossed it in a bag.

Ding. “Welcome to, oh Paris. Thank the Zebra Goddess you’re here. Come clock in and ring for us!” A sigh of relief came from Ashley. A tall girl with shockingly long legs and a messy bun poking out of her hat came around the corner, punched in, and began cashing people out.

“Ummm, miss. My sandwich is messy. I wish to have a new one prepared for me.” The businessman was again looking everywhere but at Ashley. Sammy put his head down embarrassed. “And what sub did you have sir?” Paris said with a smile on her face.

“I had a Meatball on flatbread with double meat.” He said almost in a whisper.

“Hey, ummm, new guy. What’s your name?” Paris asked in a harsh yet kind tone.

“I-it’s S-sammy,” he said, still looking down embarrassed.

“Did this man get a double meatball on flatbread?” I could see the wheels turning in her head. Something was about to happen. Something good.

“Yes?” Sammy said lifting his head slightly, his eyes darting to Paris then to the man.

“And did he by chance get extra vegetables on his double meatball on flatbread?”

“Yes he did” Sammy said in a puzzled tone. He was looking even more confused than ever.

Ashley had to do everything in her power not to burst into laughter. And the man in the business suit was looking as though he should have chosen elsewhere to eat lunch.

“Well sir, if you didn’t want a messy sub, you should have gotten something that wasn’t a disgusting pile of slop. Maybe next time, you should try something of actual nutritional value. Just because we are in fact ‘Subway’ doesn’t mean your heart attack on bread is healthy. So no, I will not make you a new sub. That will be $13.25,” Paris said, shredding the man to bits.

“For just the sub? That’s insane. I pay less than that for the sub, chips, and a drink. How is that possible?” The man was yelling now.

“Well the Meatball is a $5 dollar sub, extra meat is $3.75 and I added on $4.70 for the extra vegetables and for being a pain,” Paris said with a smile on her face.

“This is outrageous! Let me speak with your manager!” The man’s face was bright red. You could practically see smoke coming out of his ears.

“Okay,” Paris said, shrugging and standing back.

“Will you excuse me for one moment please?” Ashley said, smiling at the customer in front of her.

“Of course not dear,” said the lady holding her little girl’s hand. Ashley thanked the lady and walked in front of the Paris took a deep breath and smiled at the man in the suit.

“Sir. I said from the beginning that I was training a new guy and needed everyone to be patient. And the first person to make a rude comment or complained would be leaving here without a sandwich. Now if you were in such a hurry, you could have said something or left but now that your sub is ready and packaged, and the fact that no one here is going to eat that, I can’t send you out without you purchasing this. I’ll give it to you for $5 dollars but I’m going to have to ask you to not come back in here. Thank you and have a nice day.”

The man looked at Ashley as if she had wounded him, but without argument he handed over the money and left silently.

“Now, let’s get back to work, shall we?” Ashley said with a smile.

Ding. “Rhythm Fusions in the house!”

That’s when Cas turned around to see a gaggle of incredibly dressed teens. They wore colorful ensembles that went perfectly with each other. It was like looking at the cover of a magazine. Their hair was blowing but there was no fan. Cas had this strange feeling that he knew them. Or that he wanted to be them, but couldn’t tell.

“Hey guys! It’s gonna be a minute, but sit down! We’ll have your subs ready as soon as we can!” Ashley told them in a motherly fashion.

“Thanks Ash!” said a girl with shoulder length brown hair.

“Alright, who’s next?”

Finally, it was Cas’s turn to order.

“Hey there, how are ya?” Ashley asked.

“I’m doing just fine,” Cas responded. “And you?”

“I’m great. What can I get for you?”

“I will have a 6 inch BMT with pepper jack cheese on, hmmm, what’s a good bread?” He asked, hoping not to get yelled at.

“Well, I personally like flatbread, but for a BMT I’m gonna say garlic herbs and cheese. The herbs bring out the spice in the meat,” Ashley said with a big smile.

“Alright then. I’ll get the garlic herbs and cheese bread. And If it’s not too much trouble, can I get the onions and peppers toasted on with it?”

“Not at all,” she said, laying the meat and cheese on the bread. “Is that enough onion and pepper or do you want a little more?”

“That’s perfect. Thank you so much,” he said, smiling and moving on down the line.

Cas stood there for a minute looking at Sammy, who still looked like he wanted to be anywhere but there. When the toaster dinged, Sammy hurriedly pulled the door down- almost knocking the toaster to the ground- and balanced the hot sub on the tray.

“O-okay,” Sammy stuttered. “What veggies do you want?”

“Can I just get some spinach, olives, and banana peppers please?” Cas said, smiling kindly.

“Yeah, sure. Any sauce?”

“Hmmm, how about… a little mayo and Italian dressing.”

Sammy picked up the sauced, slapped them on and closed my sub. Hands shaking he wrapped the sub and handed it over to Paris.

“What kind of sub is this?” she asked in a testing tone.

“Ummm… I don’t know?” he said, looking at Cas with a panic-stricken face.

“BMT!” Ashley yelled from the front of the line. “He’s new. Don’t scare him away!”

“Fine!” Paris yelled back. “Would you like chips or cookies with your sandwich?” She asked with a half smile on her face.

“Yeah, I’ll have two chocolate chip cookies and a small drink.”

“Okay, all together that’s going to be $7.42.”

Digging into his wallet, Cas pulled out a ten for the meal. Paris took it and gave him back his change.

“Here,” he said, pulling out fifteen more dollars. “You guys work hard. Split that up between you guys. Good luck Sammy. You’re gonna do just fine.” He grabbed his sandwich from the counter, pulled a bottle of Coke out of the cooler, and headed for the door. “See you tomorrow guys.”

“See you tomorrow, Cas,” Ashley said with a smile and a wave.

Cas walked back through the park and found a nice shady spot by the lake. Breathing in the fresh air and taking in the sight of the boats on the lake, he unwrapped his sub and began to eat. What a wonderful sub made by wonderful people. Nothing could be better.

Taking his last bite of a cookie, Cas closed his eyes and laid back. The breeze blew over his face, and the sounds of the waves calmed him. He could’ve fell asleep, but he knew he must get going back to work. But wait… What’s that? Out on the lake, he spotted something shiny. Cas stood up, beginning to walk towards the lake. He started to take off his shirt and shoes, dropping them and letting them trail behind him. With no regard to anybody walking in front of him, he pushed through the crowd that had gathered and to the shore line. Now, only in his boxers, he started walking out into the water. It was cold, but he didn’t care. He had to know what was out there. He started to swim for what felt like hours. Why wasn’t he getting there? Was it moving in the same direction he was? Faster and faster he swam, and finally, he was upon it. But what was it? Cas looked at it for some time, marveling at the beauty of it. “I must go in,” he said, swimming towards it. “There’s something on the other end that needs me.” And that kids, is how I met your father.


	46. Of Parties and Hobbits (Lord of the Rings AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Luci

Sam Winchester was fartin’ around in the shire, angry at the world. He was the shortest hobbit to ever live. And this made him the angriest hobbit. He lived an ok life; it wasn’t very good, but it wasn’t very bad, either.  He was perfectly content to keep livin’ and fartin’ like he do.  This, however, was a dream he would not accomplish. Suddenly, Charlie burst into his hobbit hole, hitting her head on the doorframe.

               “Ouch!” she said, rubbing her head.

               “It’s not my fault you’re tall,” Sam said sassily, crossing his little arms.  “Why are you here?”

               “I’ve a come to ask a favor of you.  My girlfriend, Arwen, has been kidnapped and I need your help to save her.”

               “Why my help?”

               “You’re the only one small enough to crawl into tight spaces that I might encounter.”

               Sam glared at her.  “What makes you think I’ll help you?”

               “I saved your life once.  You owe me.”

               “Fine.  Let’s go.”

               “Just like that?  I expected you to put up more of a fight.”

               “Do you want a fight?”

               “No, no that’s alright.”

               Sam spent the next few minutes collecting some things he thought he would need for his journey (including his handkerchief) and followed Charlie outside into the yard.  Standing around was the rest of the members of the quest.  Dean the elf, Cas the wizard, Kevin the dwarf, Harry the muggle, Legolas, Gollum, Frodo, and Aileen.  Kevin was standing in Sam’s garden, crushing his kale.

               “Get off!  Get off my kale!” Sam frantically shrieked at Kevin while attempting to shoo him off his kale like he was a stray cat.

               Kevin stared down at him, a confused look on his face.  “Why is this oompa loompa yelling at me?” Kevin asked.

               “Alright, gather ‘round, bitches,” Charlie said, standing on the stump of an old tree to see out among the crowd.  Really Sam should have been standing on it so he could see, well, anything at all, but no matter.

               Everyone made their way over to Charlie.  Sam was nearly stepped on by four different people.

               “Now, you’re probably wondering exactly why I have gathered you all here today,” Charlie began.  “Basically my girlfriend got kidnapped by the evil wizard Saruman and in order to get her back I need to pick up a package and deliver it to Sauron’s tower, where she is being held.  Also we only have two weeks to accomplish this task.”

               “Charlie,” Dean began, “that’s not ever enough time to get to Sauron, much less to pick up any mysterious package.”

               “Well, where we need to go to get the package is actually on the way, so that’s no problem, and we’re just going to have to walk really fast.  I don’t plan on taking three movies to get there,” she said with a pointed look at Frodo.

               “Rude,” Frodo muttered under his breath.

               “Wait, we’re not going to even get horses or anything?” Legolas asked.

               “Well I wanted to, but Sam is the size of a human infant so there’s no way he can ride a horse.”

               “We usually ride ponies,” said Frodo.

               “Yeah, well, he’s still too short.”

               “Insulted,” Sam muttered, “on my own property.”

“So who’s with me?” Charlie shouted, raising her sword.

Everyone just kind of looked around at each other, figuring if at least one person volunteered the rest of them could go home.

“Seriously guys?” Charlie asked.  “I’ll buy lunch.”

Everyone in the garden raised their weapons or their fists, suddenly jumping at the chance to volunteer.

“That’s more like it,” Charlie said.

Soon after, the company was on its way out of the shire. Charlie led the party, whispering with Aileen and Legolas, presumably about the grand plan to rescue Arwen. Cas and Dean were walking side by side, holding hands.  Kevin and Harry also walked together, arguing politely over which Shia LaBeouf movie was the best.  Gollum walked behind Frodo, and Frodo looked hella uncomfortable.  Gollum kept muttering to himself, and Frodo was desperately trying to get away.

Sam, however, had a different problem.  He couldn’t seem to catch up.  He had been basically sprinting for the last three and a half miles (middle earth uses US customary units, obviously).  He felt like his lungs were about to burst.  The only thing that kept him going was his stubbornness.

Soon enough, they left the shire.  After a pleasant walk (or grueling sprint, depending on who we’re talking about) that took up most of the day, the party arrived in a small village.

The village was the most pleasant place most of them had been. The sun was shining bright over the gentle, grassy hills.  The people all walked about, mingling politely, making small talk and laughter. The buildings were cheerful, featuring wonderful little family-owned shops.

“I can’t think of a more pleasant place to be!” Aileen exclaimed when a young boy ran up to her and gave her a flower.

“It’s so wonderful here,” said Cas, smiling in the sunlight.

“It’s a bit too wonderful,” Sam muttered, but no one responded because he was so close to the ground and very far from their ears.

“Lunch, anyone?” Charlie asked.  “I did say I would buy.”

Everyone nodded in agreement, the walk having really made them crave some spaghetti.  Luckily, the village had an adorable restaurant that specialized in spaghetti, called _Matt’s Place._ The party took their seats outside on the patio in the sun.

“Is it possible to get a booster seat?” Charlie asked one of the waiters, whose name tag identified him as Gacé.  

“It’s no problem at all, ma’am,” Gacé said with a smile. He returned a minute later to set up the seat, lifting Sam off the ground and placing him in it, strapping him in to make sure he wouldn’t fall out.

Sam said nothing, he just crossed his arms and stared angrily at Charlie.

“I’m gonna go find a bathroom,” Frodo said.  “I’ll be right back.”

“Welcome, welcome!” said a cheery waitress.  Gacé followed her, placing menus out for the party to view. “My name is Colleen, and I’ll be one of your servers today.  You’ve already met Gacé.”

“Hello, everyone!” Gacé said.

“Hello Gacé!” said everyone.

“We’ll give you a second to look over the menus, then we’ll take your orders!”

Sam glanced down at the menu to look over his choices. A hobbits gotta eat, after all. There was only two things on the menu: Spaghetti with light, meatless sauce, and kids’ spaghetti with light, meatless sauce.

“Ready to order?” Colleen asked.

“I’ll have the spaghetti with light, meatless sauce,” Charlie said, folding her menu and handing it back to Gacé.

“You know, I think I’ll also have the spaghetti with light, meatless sauce,” said Aileen.

“The spaghetti with light, meatless sauce sounds pretty good to me,” said Kevin.

“Tough to decide, but I’ll have the spaghetti with light, meatless sauce,” Harry said.

“I can’t believe you have spaghetti with light, meatless sauce!” Legolas exclaimed.  “I’ll have two!”

“You guys talk like you have much of a choice as to what you eat,” Sam grumbled.  “But the spaghetti with light, meatless sauce actually does sound good.  I’ll take four.”

“The spaghetti with light, meatless sauce for me,” said Gollum.

“Yum, I’ll have the spaghetti with light, meatless sauce!” Cas exclaimed.

“Actually, could I get the spaghetti with light, meatless sauce, but without the light, meatless sauce?” Dean asked.  “Spaghetti sauce always brings me bad memories.”

“The- the spaghetti with light, meatless sauce, but without the light, meatless sauce?” Colleen asked, looking utterly flabbergasted. “I- I’m not even sure that’s possible. I’ll have to consult the chef.” Colleen ran off into the building. A minute later she came back out, a young man trailing behind her.

“Hello, my wonderful costumers!”  He said.  “I’m Matt, the owner of this fine establishment.  I hear there’s a problem with my menu?”

“Oh, no sir, I didn’t mean it like that,” said Dean.  “I just don’t like sauce on my noodles.”

Matt looked angry for a moment but managed to pull himself together.  “I- I’m sorry sir.  But that’s, well that’s just ludacris.   _All_ of my spaghetti has light, meatless sauce on it. I can’t just unsauce it!”

“Well, couldn’t you just boil noodles and not put sauce on them?”

Matt looked murderous.  “Who do you think you are, telling me how to run my restaurant?  Here at _Matt’s Place_ we serve spaghetti _with_ light, meatless sauce, not without!  You will either eat what I cook you or nothing at all!”

The table was shocked into horrified silence.  Dean couldn’t find a way to make his mouth make words.

“ _Do I make myself clear?”_

“Yes sir!  One spaghetti with light, meatless sauce!”

Matt continued to glare.

“P-please!”

As fast as lightning, Matt’s murderous demeanor was gone and his cheerful one returned.  “Wonderful!  Will that be all?”

At that moment, Frodo returned from the bathroom.  “Oh, sorry guys!  I didn’t know we were ordering already!”

“That’s alright, welcome to my restaurant!”  Matt said.  “I’ll give you a second to scan the menu.”

“Well, thank you, kind sir!”  Frodo grabbed Gollum’s menu and read over it quickly.  “Hmm, tough choice, but I think I’ll have the spaghetti with light, meatless sauce.”

“Wonderful!”

“However, is it possible-“

“No, don’t!” Charlie exclaimed.

“-to get spaghetti with heavy, meat sauce?”

Everyone turned to look at Frodo, their horror apparent on their faces.

“What?”

Matt began to laugh.  It was slow and low at first, but slowly rose in volume and pitch, making him sound frantic and maniacal.  “Oh, of all the things I have heard in my days, of all of the _disgusting_ things, this, this just might be the worst. Spaghetti with _heavy, meat_ sauce?  SPAGHETTI WITH HEAVY, MEAT SAUCE!  NEVER, IN MY ENTIRE LIFE HAVE I BEEN MORE INSULTED.  You-“ he said, pointing a shaking finger at Frodo, “do NOT get to eat. Never will you eat at my restaurant! Gacé!”

“Yes sir!”

“You are on guard duty.  He is to watch his friends eat my delicious spaghetti with _light_ , _meatless_ sauce, and he is to eat none!  Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, sir!” Gacé said, cheerfully.

“Yes, sir,” Frodo said, shaking from fear.

“So, that’ll be thirteen spaghettis with light, meatless sauce,” Colleen said.  “Coming right up!”

Afterwards, the meal was pretty uneventful.  It would have even been enjoyable if Gacé hadn’t been hovering menacingly over Frodo, cracking his knuckles.  Afterwards, they walked to a little café owned by a young woman named Kaia, where they got some delicious home baked desserts.  Well, everyone except Frodo, seeing as Matt had warned Kaia about Frodo and Gacé apparently worked for her as well.

“Well, I’m beat!” said Charlie.  “I say we turn in for the night.”

“There was a cute little inn just over the hill, let’s stay there!” said Harry.

The party made its way over the hill and through the doors of the inn.

“Hello! Welcome!” said a cheery looked lady at the front desk.  “My name is Kara, how can I help you?”

“Can we get five double rooms, please?”

“Absolutely!  Paris, Ashely!” she called into a separate room.  “Come help me out!”

Two people, presumably Paris and Ashley, came out of the back.

“These are the other owners of this fine establishment. They’ll help you to your rooms.”

As they followed Paris and Ashley through the establishment, Dean couldn’t help but notice that there were no other people staying there.  “Say, where is everyone else?”

“Oh, they’re burning to death,” Paris answered casually.

“Wh-what?”

“Oh, you’re not from around here!” said Ashley.  “That means they’re out clubbing.  It is a Saturday night after all.”

“It’s Tuesday, though.”

“Well, here’s your room!  Goodnight!”

“I don’t know, Cas, somethings off here,” Dean said, sitting on the edge of his bed.  “Can’t you use your magic and check this place out?”

“Dean, we both know I’m a poor excuse for a wizard. Besides, it’s probably fine.”

“Alright, I’m trusting you.”

Midnight.  Everyone was asleep.

“Are we ready to execute the plan?”

“You know it.”

“Let’s get moving.”

The three owners put their hands together and threw them in the air on the count of three.  Nothing could stop them tonight.


	47. Of Parties and Hobbits Pt 2 (Lord of the Rings AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Luci

“Cas, Cas!” Dean said, frantically shaking Cas awake. “Do you hear that?”

“Hear what?” Cas asked groggily.

“That- that music!”

“Dean I don’t hear- wait,” he said, sitting up.  “I hear it.”

“What is it?” Dean climbed out of bed and went over to the door to the hallway.  Slowly, he opened the door to peak outside.

In the hall, Legolas stood, bow drawn.

“What is that noise?” Dean whispered.

Legolas merely shrugged.  “Let’s investigate.”

Dean, Cas, and Legolas made their way out of the hall and too the lounge, where they found the source of the noise.  Kara, Ashley, and Paris were all gathered around a radio, which was playing the song *Wtf by Missy Elliot.

“Five, six, seven, eight!” Ashley counted down.

The girls started to dance the hottest dance anyone had ever seen.  There was nothing Dean, Cas, or Legolas could do to stop them.  Smoke started to rise from the floor.  The inn was on fire!  All from their dance moves!

“Good luck trying to escape this fire!” Paris said laughing.  “Our client will be very pleased, indeed.”

“Let’s get outta here,” Kara said.

               Ashley snapped her fingers and they disappeared.

               “Let’s go find the others!” Dean yelled, unnecessarily, because everyone had woken up and piled in the lounge by now.

               “What happened?” Charlie asked.

               “We don’t have time for explanations and I don’t even think I _can_ explain it.  We gotta get out here!”

               The party ran around the building, trying to find any escape.  There was none.

               “What’re we going to do?!” Aileen exclaimed.

               “We’re gonna die!” said Harry.

               “No!  We’ll find a way out!”  Cas said. “I may not be the best wizard, but at least I can do… this!   _Aguamenti!”_

               A jet of water appeared out of the end of Cas’s staff.  He pointed it to the nearest flame, thoroughly dousing it.  Soon enough, the fire was out.

               “Cas, you saved us!” Kevin said.  “That was amazing!”

               “Yeah, I wish I could do magic!” said Harry, still in awe.

               “Let’s get outta here,” said Charlie.  “We have a package to pick up!”

               The journey to retrieve the package was pretty uneventful.  That is except for the three troll attacks, four orc attacks, falling into a goblin kingdom, traveling down a river in barrels, fighting a dragon that looked suspiciously like Benedict Cumberbatch, being stopped three times to listen to Tom Bombadil’s singing, running from the Nazgûl, getting picked as the tributes for the Hunger Games, going to an Adele concert, competing in the Triwizard Tournament, fighting a man with no nose, retrieving a lightning bolt from Hades, getting Jason new glasses, fighting a Stormtrooper who accused Dean of being a traitor, learning to use the Force, giving a green puppet a piggyback ride, getting stranded at sea with nothing but a tiger and some bananas, getting trapped in a large maze by WICKED, choosing a faction, claiming the throne to Narnia, starting a new nation, meeting their son, defeating Loki in an epic battle, getting 100 retweets on Twitter, finishing their precalc homework, chopping the king’s head off via guillotine, killing Archduke Franz Ferdinand, starting the first World War, discovering the meaning of life, having an apple fall on their heads and discovering gravity, blowing up three Death Stars, learning to play the pan flute, opening a shoe store, publishing three books, finding true love aboard the Enterprise, and meeting up with an old friend for lunch.  Other than that, it was completely uneventful.

               “Well friends, we’re here,” Charlie said.  “And to think, we couldn’t have done it without this child backpack I purchased for Sam.”

               Sam muttered something about payback from his place in his backpack, which Kevin currently wore.

               “When Sam’s stubby legs failed us and him, that backpack did the trick!  Well, it’s time.  We have to pick up the package, then go to Sauron’s tower.  We can do it!  How much longer do we have?”

               “Two days- learning to play the pan flute sure took up a lot of our time,” said Aileen.

               “That it did.  Ok, let’s go inside.”

               Charlie led the party into a large palace where they were to pick up their package.  From the palace, it was a day’s walk to Sauron.  Charlie knew they could save Arwen.

               “Ah, Charlie!  Long time no see!” a man said to them upon entering the palace.  It was… Gandalf!  “Here for the package, I assume?”

               “That’s correct,” Charlie answered.

               “If you’ll follow me, please.”

               Gandalf led them through the winding passage ways of the palace, walking too fast for Charlie to remember the way out.

               “The package is in here, come in.”

               Gandalf opened a door, which led them into an incredibly large room in the basement of the palace.  On the floor was an impossibly large, round package.

               “It’s massive!”  Charlie exclaimed.  “You expect us to take that!  How big is it?”

               “492.126 feet in diameter, 1,546.059 feet around, and 190,214.007 feet squared.  One foot high.  Also known as, really fuckin’ huge.  Please excuse my language, as I have a massive headache.”  It was………… Dumbledore!

               “Dumbledore!  I thought you died!” said Harry.

               Dumbledore merely shrugged.

               “Whoa wait what the _hell?_ ” Charlie asked.  “How are we supposed to get this to Sauron?  Like there is literally no way.  I don’t even think we can get this out the door!”

               “That’s not our problem, right Gandalf?” asked Dumbledore.

               “That’s right, Dumbledore,” said Gandalf.  “Bye!”

               And with a puff of smoke, the two wizards disappeared.

               “Well _now_ what?” Dean asked.

               Everyone just stared at the package, their minds empty of any ideas that might save their mission.

               “Can’t we use magic or something?” Harry asked. “Make it smaller somehow?”

               “I can only preform magic once every four hundred years,” said Cas.  “Sorry.”

               “What good is being a wizard then?”

               “Wait!” Aileen exclaimed.  “I’ve got it!  See that convenient crack in the wall over there?  It looks like it’s just wide enough that if turned the package onto its side we could roll it out of this room and all the way to Sauron!”

               “Does that wall even lead to the outside?” Charlie asked.

               “It does!” said Legolas.  “Come look!”

               Sure enough, when Charlie peered through the crack, she saw the outside.

               “Well, what’re we waiting for!” said Charlie exclaimed.  “We have a package to deliver!”

               In no way, shape, or form was getting the package to Sauron easy, but somehow, the party managed it, and with plenty of time to spare.

               At the base of the tower, the group set the package down on its side.

               “Sauron!” Charlie yelled.  “I’m here, with the package as promised!  Release Arwen!”

               “Well if it isn’t Charlie,” Sauron said, somehow, even though he doesn’t have a mouth.  Or a face.  “I was convinced you wouldn’t make it, yet here you are.  Saruman!”

               “Yes, I’m over here,” said Saruman, somehow appearing behind the party.

               “Open the package.  You know what to do.”

               “Absolutely, my lord.”

               “Wait!” Charlie said.  “Release Arwen first.”

               Sauron sighed.  “I suppose.”

               The doors to the tower opened and there stood Arwen, looking tired but unharmed.

               “Charlie?  You made it!” she said, sprinting down the steps.

               “Arwen!”  Charlie exclaimed, wrapping Arwen in a tight hug.  “Of course I made it, I couldn’t live with myself if anything were to happen to you.”

               The reunion was so sickly sweet, it even brought a tear to Sam’s eye.

               “Enough of this!” Sauron rudely cut in.  “Saruman, open the package!”

               Using his magic, Saruman opened the package, revealing a giant contact lens.  He magicked it up the tower, where it came to rest in Sauron’s giant eye.

               “I can see!  Finally, I can see!  You!” he said, turning his gaze onto the party members.  “Now that you’ve done this for me, I have no need for you anymore. Death time!”

               Sauron fixed the gang with a piercing stare. There were lasers coming out of his eye! Pew pew pew!  He’s shooting them!

               “We’re all gonna die!” Sam shouted.

               And that they did.

               Well, sort of.

               They certainly didn’t exist in that world anymore.


	48. Midnight at the Hospital (Hospital AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Gacé  
> Warning: smut. lots.

Dean woke up in a dark alley way not knowing where he was. He got up and started to walk down the dimly lit ally. He suddenly hear some noises farther down the ally, he decided to check it out **  
**

Cas is that you’ dean said

“Yes it’s me “said cas

Where are we’ asked dean

I don’t know” replied cas

All of a sudden two vamps jumped Cas and dean they manage to fight them off but in the proses dean done got stabbed. Cas couldn’t do anything, for reason of the plot, So he wooshed dean to the nearest hospital.

I NEED A DOCTOR’ shouted cas ‘WHERE IS A DOCTOR AROUND HERE’

Next thing you know Dr. sexy MD comes running out of nowhere and scooped up dean and placed him on a hospital gurney. He started yelling doctor lingo like stat and medkit.

Hours into the surgery Dr. Sexy managed to stop the bleed and was able to sew up his stab wound.

Three days has pasted and Cas hasn’t left Deans side, Dean its starting to wake up

Where… Am … I” dean said slowly and in a weak voice.

You were stabbed “ cas said I a comforting voice

Suddenly Dr Sexy walk in, *up town girl started to play and fog rolled in behind him.

Hey Dean’ Dr sexy said in a sexy voice

H…H..Hi Dr’ said dean like a little school girl

How are you feeling today’ Dr sexy continued to sexily say.

Dr sexy began to check the stab wound witch was very close to his no no area. Dean got all red in the face

There’s no need to be nervous Dean I’ve already seen it’ Dr sexy said

Cas couldn’t take this flirtation towards dean so he left.

So now that where alone’ Dr sexy said ‘I can now get to the more intimate portion of your treatment’

Dean couldn’t believe what was happening Dr sexy himself was hitting on him he could barely speak all he could do is nod his head.

Dr sexy began to remove his gown and touch his already rock hard dick, he placed his lips around Deans cock and began to suck his dick. Dean was so red faced and dumbfounded of what was happening but he came in minuets filling the Doctors mouth with his sweet juicy love juice, the doctor swalled.

After deans wounds healed they started to leave the hospital but was stopped by the Dr

Dean I think I’m in love with you’ shouted Dr Sexy

At this point Dr. Sexy has become obsessed with dean for the sake of the plot.

I.. I need you dean I need you to fill my hole with your amazing cock’ exclaimed the Dr.

I don’t know Dr. you see I’m in love with cas’ dean said but was interrupted my Cas

I think a three some would be fun” Cas interrupted.

SO all three decided to have hot sweetie sex at Dr. Sexys very nice apartment.

As they arrived they already started to remove there cloths before entering his apartment Dr sexy and dean started to make out as cas started to blow both The Dr and dean. As it was getting hot and heavy dean started to enter Dr sexys sweat ass but noticed something in there. A portal of some sort but dean started to enter only to activate the portal and dean and cas where sucked in to the portal located in Dr. Sexy mds Asshole.


	49. Salami Feet (Airplane/Hospital/Zombie Apocalypse AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Father
> 
> AN: This AU is directly based off a dream Father had. All the characters, the plot, everything is exactly the same as they appeared in the dream.

Machines beeped and the surgeons hurried around the operating room of the airplane. The surgery was in progress and they weren’t gonna stop now. The lead surgeon, Dean, called out orders over the roar of the plane. They were doing a face transplant: the most delicate procedure ever.

All of a sudden, the heart monitor started beeping out of control!

“Sir! There’s a problem!” shouted Charlie by the monitors.

“We’re gonna need a cerebrovascular neurosurgeon in here, stat!” said Dean, not looking up from the operation. “Get Sam in here!”

Charlie nodded and ran to the other side of the room. She opened up the light blue curtains that separated the operation room from the passenger cabin and went through. She looked around at the passengers: some were sleeping, some were reading, some were looking up at her strangely. Then she spotted him. Sam was sitting in the front of the cabin, already in his green scrubs.

“Sam!” shouted Charlie, as she ran to him. He looked up. “We need you in the operating room!”

Sam got up and followed Charlie to the back, pulling on his rubber gloves. They burst through the curtains and Sam got to work just in the Knick of time. Charlie, Jo, Benny, Legolas, and Gollum continued to rush around, following the orders of the two head surgeons.

One of the staff of the plane pushed her cart into the room through the curtain and parked it off to the side. She began pulling out drawers from the side of the wall and restocking her cart full of pretzels and coke. Then she left beck through the curtain. The doctors could hear her offering refreshments to the passengers.  

The surgery was going well until Benny tapped Dean on the shoulder.

“Dean…” he said. Dean looked up at him.

“What?”

“Look at this,” Benny lifted the sheet that was draped over the man. He lifted it to show the feet.

Meanwhile, in the passenger cabin, Steve sat, peering out the window at the clouds. His boyfriend, James, was sitting next to him, holding his hand. James was never very good with flying, so Steve was trying to give him as much comfort as possible. They were on their way to a Star Trek convention in London and Steve couldn’t stop thinking about it. He was so excited! This was his first Star Trek convention. Before he met James, he had never thought much about all that scifi stuff, but since they started dating, Steve gave it a second look…and now, here they were, on their way to a convention. In the seats in front of them sat their two friends, Kevin and Harry. Steve was introduced to those two through Kirk and the four of them became quick friends.

The plane hit some turbulence, shaking the cabin slightly, resulting in some beeps and shouts from behind that curtain back there. Steve had heard that there was a surgery going on back there, which he thought was strange but he wasn’t going to question it too much. But just then, he heard a scream, followed by more shouts, coming from behind the curtain.

Benny showed Dean the feet of their patient. The feet were made of prosciutto ham and it was spreading up his legs quickly.

“Oh my god…” Dean gasped.

“What is it?” asked Benny.

“…It’s…Salami Feet!”

 **  
  
  
  
**(to the song Survivor) **  
**

##  **Starring**

 

Dean Winchester

as Himself

 

Sam Winchester

as Himself

 

Castiel

as Himself

 

Ezri

as Herself

 

Benny Lafitte

as Himself

 

Jo Harvelle

as Herself

 

Charlie Bradbury

as Herself

 

Steven Proudfoot

as Himself

 

Kevin Tran

as Himself

 

Harry Potter

as Himself

 

James Tiberius Kirk

as Jimmy

 

Legolas

as Himself

 

Gollum

as Himself

 

##  **Salami Feet**

The man on the operating table shot up. He ripped the tubes out of himself and hopped off of the table. He grabbed the closest doctor, who happened to be Legolas, and took a big bite out of his shoulder! Legolas screamed and gripped the wound, falling to his knees.

“Sam! Throw me my gun!” shouted Dean. Sam reached into Dean’s jacket that was hanging on a hook and pulled out his gun. He tossed it to Dean, who caught it and ran after the crazed patient. The man had just ran through the curtains and into the passenger cabin, causing people to stand up and scream, throwing the cabin into chaos. Dean burst through the curtains and aimed his gun at the man. But he was gripping a passenger, biting into the innocent person’s throat. Dean took the shot and hit the Salami Footed man right between the eyes! But it was too late! For he had already bitten several people in the cabin!

Dean went back behind the curtains. Jo and Gollum were kneeling next to Legolas, who was on the floor, bleeding out. Dean looked at his feet and saw that they were already changing…

“Why do you think it’s called Salami Feet?” asked Benny. Dean shook his head.

“I don’t know…” he said wistfully. “I guess Prosciutto Feet just doesn’t have the same ring to it…”

“Aggghh!!” Legolas screamed as the prosciutto spread further up his body.

“Hang in there!” Jo said. But then Legolas gave one last twitch and then went limp….

Only to sit back up and take a bite out of Gollum! Gollum screamed and shot away from Legolas. Jo stood up and backed away as well. Dean jumped into action, shooting three rounds at the quickly moving Legolas. The third round hit Legolas in the shoulder, but that only seemed to make him angry. Legolas turned his head and looked at Dean with dead eyes, the prosciutto inching its way up his neck.

Dean shot again, this time hitting him in the forehead. Legolas collapsed.

“We need to help the people out there!” said Dean. “Some of them got bit!”

Dean, Charlie, Benny, and Sam ran into the passenger cabin, only to be met with absolute chaos…

Anna sat at home finishing up her homework. After she put that away, she got out her sketchbook. She had had a drawing in her head for the entire day and she really wanted to get in down on paper. She opened up her box of charcoals and turned up the radio. The Country station. Her favorite. The charcoal touched down on the paper and she began drawing.

“We interrupt your station to report a special announcement,” the radio said. “We just got word of a breakout of the newly discovered disease called Salami Feet. There was an unexpected breakout on Flight 66…”

“Oh no! Cas and Ezri are on that flight!” said Anna, hopping off her bed and running to turn up the radio. Her brother and sister were coming to London to visit her at school.

“We don’t have any more details yet, but stay tuned, we’ll be back with more as soon as we hear from them. Back to you Stacey.

Hi, Stacy here! I’m at the home of some very happy beagle parents who just had a huge litter of seventy five puppies!!…..”

 

Anna hurried to open her laptop and turn on the tv, hoping to hear more about the tragedy.


	50. Salami Feet Pt 2 (Airplane/Hospital/Zombie Apocalypse AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Father
> 
> AN: This AU is directly based off a dream Father had. All the characters, the plot, everything is exactly the same as they appeared in the dream.

Dean and Benny wrestled with a man who was changing quickly, the prosciutto spreading fast up his legs and arms. Sam was trying his best to calm everyone down, but just then, a woman in the crowd screamed. She was wrestled to the floor and was being eaten alive by a man who had fully changed. People screamed and hurried to get away from the scene. Dean rushed over and shot the man, he heard Benny do the same with the other man they had been holding.

“Dean! More people are changing!” yelled Sam. The screaming only escaladed. People ran around, some getting bit and some fighting for their lives. Dean, Sam, Charlie, and Benny tried their best to control the crowd, shooting at the salami footed people, but by the time the chaos was over, there was a higher body count than any of them would have liked.

“What do we do now?” asked someone who had survived. He had long hair that swept over to the side and he wore a Sun Bros shirt. He stood up, along with five other survivors. One of them wore a Star Trek t-shirt. Another was an Asian kid holding the hand of another kid with round glasses. Another was a man in a tan trench coat with dark hair, and the other was a woman with shining coppery hair and gray eyes. They all looked terrified.

“Alright, everybody needs to stay calm,” said Dean. “This is a breakout so we need to treat it calmly.”

“Dean’s right,” said Sam. “We need to be smart about this.”

“Maybe we should start by introducing ourselves,” said Benny. “Then we can all figure out our next move.”

They all introduced each other. The boy with the long hair was named Steve, and his boyfriend with the Star Trek t-shirt was Jimmy. The Asian boy was Kevin and the boy with the round glasses was Harry. The man in the trench coat was Castiel and his sister with the coppery hair was Ezri. Castiel and Ezri had been going to London to visit their sister at school and the other four were going to a Star Trek convention.

Then they all went back behind the curtain. Jo had her back against the wall, pointing a shotgun at Gollum. Gollum was completely covered in prosciutto and foaming at the mouth. Dean watched as Gollum launched himself at Jo. The shotgun was pushed up and it fired into the ceiling. Jo was trying to wrestle Gollum away, but he ripped the gun from her hand and threw it behind him. It fired when it hit the ground. Steve screamed and dropped to the floor.

“Steve!” Jimmy yelled as he kneeled next to him. Steve got a leg full of buck shot and there was nothing anyone could do. As he lay screaming, Charlie went to check on Jo. She was holding her arm.

“Are you okay?” she asked. Jo nodded.  

“I’m fine,” she said, but she was beginning to look a little pale and blood was seeping through her fingers.

“Let me see it,” said Charlie. Dean approached them.

“Jo, what happened?”

“Nothing, it’s just a scratch,” she said. But Dean took her hand away to reveal a nasty bite. Charlie gasped and Dean’s eyes widened. It was no scratch. The blood started to drip from her arm onto her scrubs.

“Oh no…” said Charlie. The prosciutto already began creeping up her feet and up her legs. Jo looked up at Dean and Charlie with fear in her eyes.

“Kevin! Give it back!” shouted Steve from behind them. They turned and looked. They saw Steve on the ground, Sam holding a cloth against his leg, and Kevin standing over him with a delicious looking sandwich. “Kevin. Give me the sandwich.”

“No! It’s mine!” said Kevin, holding the sandwich out of Steve’s reach.

“Kevin! Come on, seriously, I just got shot!” said Steve. “Just give it to me!”

“NO! YOU CANT HAVE IT!” yelled Kevin.

“Kevin, I never liked you…” said Steve, sitting up and putting a scowl on his face. “And ya know what, this is the last straw. I’m warning you, Kevin, give me the sandwich before you regret it.”

“Never!” yelled Kevin, hopping out of Steve’s reach.

“THAT’S IT!” with a mighty roar, Steve stood up with all his remaining strength, grabbed Sam’s gun from his pocket, and shot five rounds at Kevin. They all hit him right in the chest. The sandwich flew out of Kevin’s hands in slow motion. Lettuce flung, tomato’s soared, lunch meat leaped, cheese glided, bread spun. And then it slapped the floor with an amazing splat! Then Kevin fell and hit the floor, his hand outstretched. Steve, having used the last of energy, collapsed, dropping the gun.

“Keeeeeeeeeeevvvvvviiiiinnnnnnnn!!!!!!”Harry fell to his knees next to Kevin’s body and wept.

“What a shame…” said Dean. Jimmy shed a few tears over Steve for a bit.

“Hey can I talk to you for a second, Brother,” said Benny. Dean followed him out of the room.

“What’s up?” said Dean.   

“We need to make a plan,” said Benny. “This is getting out of hand.”

“You’re right,” said Dean.

But just then, there was a shout behind the curtains!

“Dean!” Charlie ran out from the curtains. “Run! Ruun!”

Charlie, Dean, Sam, and Benny ran away. Jo, who was completely covered in prosciutto, ran after them, blood dripping from her mouth. Halfway down the passenger cabin, they split up. Dean ran to the other flight attendant cabin. When he got there, he closed the door.

“Dean.”

Dean whipped his head around and met gray, stormy eyes.

“Ezri,” he said.

“What are we gonna do?” she asked. “We still have four hours before we land.”

“I know. I’m working on it,” said Dean. Just then, the door opened and Ezri and Dean jumped up.

“Ezri, you’re okay,” said Cas. He stood in the doorway looking at them.

“Cas!” Ezri hugged him. “What’s going on out there?”

“Jimmy and Harry are dead,” said Cas. “I think Benny, Charlie, and Sam are still alive.”

A low growling sound came from behind Cas and he turned around. Jo was standing there, teeth bared. She whipped out her claws and dug them into Cas’s chest! He screamed and Dean and Ezri tried to pry Jo off of Cas but it was no use! She twisted her claws in his chest and then ripped out his heart! It was still beating when she took a bite out of it. Cas stared in horror before he dropped to the ground. Dean and Ezri looked on, unable to do anything. Then Jo wolfed down the rest of the heart, then bent over Cas and began eating him! Dean grabbed Ezri and ran, not looking back at the massacre.

They ran right into Benny on their way out. Benny had a gun and he shot Jo, killing her once and for all.

“Are you guys all right?” asked Benny.

“Yeah we’re fine,” said Dean, him and Ezri still catching their breath.

“Benny! Look out!” screamed Ezri. A wild, prosciuttoed Harry came charging at Benny. He turned and caught Harry before he could bite him, flinging him around and shoving him to the ground. But before Benny had the chance to get out his gun, Harry leapt up, took a bite out of Benny’s arm, then ran at Ezri. Ezri screamed and tried to get away, but she tripped on one of the bodies of the passengers. Harry tripped over the same body and landed on top of her. She tried to shield herself, but it was no use. Harry was tearing his teeth into her and it was only too late when Dean took the gun from Benny and shot. The bullet went through Harry’s head and into Ezri’s, killing them both.

“Oh, god…” Dean shivered. “I killed Ezri…”

“Don’t beat yourself up, Brother,” panted Benny, holding his arm. “She would have turned anyway.”

“Benny, your arm,” Dean said, dropping the gun and rushing to his friend’s side. The song, My Heart Will Go On, began playing.

“Give me the gun, I’ll do it myself before I turn,” said Benny. He was laying, slumped against one of the chairs.

“No, I should be the one to do it,” said Dean, tears stinging in his eyes.

“Dean brother, go help Sam and Charlie. I’ll do this,” Benny said, grimacing as he felt the prosciutto already spreading up his legs. “Hurry, give me the gun, I’m changing.”

Dean reached over and grabbed the gun, handing it to his friend. He put a hand on Benny’s shoulder. “You were a great friend. I’ll never forget you Benny.”

“You too, brother,” said Benny. “Now go, before it’s too late.”

Dean stood and wiped his face.

“Go!”

Dean left him, and went to the back of the cabin, behind the curtains. He stood there on the other side of the curtains, waiting, then…he heard the gunshot.

Sam was holding a rag to his leg.

“Sammy!” Dean yelled, rushing to his brother’s side. “Sammy, what happened?”

“I got bit, Dean…” he said.

“No…” Dean couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe what was happening before him. His brother, his brother, was bitten and was turning into a Salami Foot. Dean could already see it creeping up Sam’s legs.

“Dean, Charlie already said she would do it,” said Sam. His face was turning pale and sweat beaded his forehead.

“Do what?” Dean said in a shaky voice, tears rolling down his cheeks. “Sam, do what?”

“She’s going to shoot me before I turn,” he said. “I don’t want to become one of those things, Dean. I don’t want to hurt one of you.”

“Sam no-”

“Please, you have to let me do this. You have to.”

“Sammy…”

Dean stood, and wiped his face. Charlie had a gun in her hand.

“Maybe you want to wait outside?” she said. Dean nodded, but he knelt down by Sam to give him a hug before he left.

Dean waited outside in the cabin. The shot pierced through the air, sounding louder than it should have, making Dean flinch. He hung his head and let the tears fall.

“It’s done,” said Charlie, coming out from the curtains.

The plane hit some more turbulence then they felt it start to drop altitude. They were landing! The plane continued to drop and Dean and Charlie looked out the windows. They could see the landing strip getting closer! Then, finally, they landed and the plane slowed to a stop.

“This is it,” said Charlie as the plane began to shut down. “It’s over. It’s all over.”

Dean Just wanted to get off the plane. He was 9000 percent done…but then the door to the pilot’s cabin flung open and the pilot ran out. He was completely covered in prosciutto! The co-pilot lay in his seat, bloody and very dead. The pilot ran at Charlie and ripped out her throat before Dean could even react! He managed to pull out his gun. In slow motion, he aimed his gun at the head of the pilot and shot. Then he shot again…and again and again. Then the pilot hit the floor, dead, but Dean kept shooting until he heard the click, click, click, of the empty magazine. He dropped the gun and then fell to his knees next to Charlie.

“Not you too…” he said, lifting her up into his arms. She was bleeding out fast.

“It’s okay, Dean,” she said. “I got a hero’s death, one of the last survivors. That’s more than I could have asked for.”

“I’ll miss you Charlie.”

“I’ll miss you too Dean.”

Dean leaned down and kissed her forehead. Then he watched as the light left her eyes and she went limp in his arms.

The song, My Heart Will Go On faded into Sweet Child of Mine. Dean disembarked the plane, walking down the steps onto the asphalt. He was deaf to the sirens and people rushing around the plane as his world went into slow motion. He walked away from that plane, a shell of a man…nothing left inside of him…but sorrow…for he was a shell of a man…nowhere else to go…no one else to turn to…and as he walked, the doors of the airport opened up to a tunnel of clouds. He walked right into the tunnel, the clouds closing around him and sending him somewhere else…………………


	51. Stage Fright (Hamilton AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Ivan Grey
> 
> AN: There are lyrics from the Broadway musical Hamilton used here, which we do not own. All rights to the owners.

Steven opened his eyes with a start to the sound of cannons booming and men screaming as if it were an alarm he forgot that he set. He quickly realized he had no time to clear the sleep from his eyes. He found himself in the middle of field torn into two sides by men with strange guns. Everywhere around him the world was being dyed red. He watched a man in a white and blue uniform get his boot stuck in the mud, stopping his movement just long enough for a man in a red coat to take aim. With the crack of a musket announcing it, a spot on the man’s chest burst with red, staining his white coat red. The red coats were massacring the men in the blue and white.

       Suddenly, something clicked in Steven’s mind and he realized where he was. Why the Revolutionary war? He got to his feet and ran, trying to stay beneath the notice of the men firing all around him. He ran with no particular direction in mind, but he found himself near the losing side.

       One voice dominated the air with a strangely sing-song tone. It said, “He’s not the choice I would have gone with. He shits the bed at the Battle of Monmouth.”

       Suddenly, from the losing side, a new group of men arrived not far away from where Steve was now. At the front was a man on a horse, dressed like a man in command. The men on the field rallied as they saw him. “Everyone attack!” He screamed.

       “Retreat!” A new voice broke in, presumably from whoever was commanding the battle before the reinforcements arrived.

       “Attack!”

       “Retreat!”

       “What are you doing Lee, get back on your feet!”

       “But there’s so many of them!”  
       “I’m sorry, is this not your speed?!”

       “Hamilton!”  
       Another man came forth and responded, “Ready, Sir!”  
       “Have LaFeyette take the lead!”

       With their exchange handled, the voice from earlier came back, “A thousand soldiers die in one hundred degree heat as we snatch a stalemate from the jaws of defeat.”

       Just as Steve thought he had figured out what was happening, things had started to move faster than he could follow. For some reason Charles was now looking at Steve, telling him how the best thing Washington could do was go back to Mount Vernon.

       Steve thought they were just at the Battle of Monmouth with the sounds of battle raging around them, but now the silence stood out more than the screams had just a moment ago. Now he was on a hill, a doctor was looking the other way, and Hamilton and Charles Lee were counting paces with guns in their hands.

       “Stop!” Steve screamed, “What the fuck is happening?!”

       The two men stopped at five paces and both turned to look at Steve.

       For some reason, the fact that Hamilton was Latin American only stood out to him now, rather than when he first saw him during the battle.   
       “We’re dueling… and there’s ten things you need to know!”  
       A group of people came from nearby and spoke in chorus, “The Ten Duel Commandments!”

       Before they could get to another line, Steven screamed again: “Stop singing! What the fuck are you doing?! You just finished a battle and now you want to shoot each other? Do you not care that a thousand men died just a moment ago? What are you even dueling for?!”

       Hamilton opened his mouth to speak, but he froze mid-word. It wasn’t just Hamilton either, Steve noticed that everyone around him had frozen in place.

       From behind him, Steve heard a large number of people gasp and murmur.

       When he turned around, he noticed that right behind him, the world dropped off and led into a sea of faces. He could hardly see the audience through the glaring lights pointing at him.

       His jaw dropped, his head swam, his heart sank, his stomach churned. In fact, there was so much commotion going on in his body because of his shock that the contents of his stomach decided it would be nice to check up on the mouth to see how it was holding up during these turbulent times. The mouth was not prepared for visitors though. It ended up being a bad time for everyone involved.

       When he managed to turn back around to face the duel, they moved in a way only rewinding video or malfunctioning games can make someone move. Without much actual movement and lots of blurred confusion, they all were back in their places from before Steven had screamed for them to stop the first time.

Five more paces and Lee was shot. Panic ensued. Sick to his stomach, both literally and figuratively, Steve just watched as things resumed their breakneck pace. He knew he couldn’t stop it. They would just sing at him and then go back to before he spoke again.

So he sat down, resigned. Despite not moving an inch, the surroundings changed as rapidly as the events unfolded around him.

“Meanwhile…” The background singers reported as they complained about no one else being in the room where it happened.

Steve was, in fact, in the room where it happened. However, when he said so, Burr looked at him dead in the eyes and explained to him, “This is the art of the compromise! Hold your nose and close your eyes!”

“You guys founded this country on compromise,” Steve shot back tersely, “but you guys suck at it.”

In a moment, they forgot Steve said anything and the cabinet started to bicker back and forth with Hamilton and Jefferson as the main participants.

If I would compromise to get out of this. Steve thought. He stared at Burr, Not just hold my nose and close my eyes. Steve thought of the duel from earlier. I’d do that to get out of here. I don’t care if I have to kill Hamilton’s son when we get to that point of the plot…

“Meet the latest graduate of King’s College!” Philip sung about Mr. Eacker and wooed the ladies as Steve rolled his eyes.

When the scenery changed again, Steve was sitting next to Mr. Eacker as Philip insulted him.

When they arrived in New Jersey, however, Steve’s perspective changed. He wasn’t sitting anymore. He was standing and there was pistol in his hand. His shirt looked strangely like Mr. Eacker’s shirt…

Oh. He noticed that he was also standing right in front of Philip Hamilton, who had a pistol drawn. Shit.

The world he was in must have responded to his thoughts a moment ago.

I didn’t mean it! Steve thought frantically as his feet moved of their own accord. He counted the paces that his feet took for him.

       1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8…9…

       NO!  
       It took all of the effort he could muster, but Steve held his finger in place, refusing to shoot Philip. Steve knew Philip wouldn’t shoot.

       BANG, the air cracked as a bullet broke through the space between the two of them. Philip’s bullet rushed toward Steve like an overexcited puppy who didn’t know when to stop running.

       Steve felt something like someone punching him in the gut. He knew better than to expect something else, but he put his hand to his gut to check. Sure enough, when he brought his hand up, it was red.

       He looked up to Philip, confounded at the fact that he actually shot. This isn’t what happened.

       However, instead of the young man Philip standing across from him, the old wizard Saruman stood in Phillip’s clothes, smiling.

       Steve collapsed to the ground as his knees decided they had had enough. He could feel a warmth spreading across his back. The ground was cold, so he didn’t mind too much. The thought occurred to him that the warmth was probably his own blood staining the ground red, but he didn’t entertain that idea for long.

       He was too preoccupied with a strange image of a piece of cherry pie that someone had dropped, the filling spilling onto the ground around it.

       It was strange, the world started to dim even though he was staring up at the sun.

       He felt like he was falling…

       Soon, that image of cherry pie spilling its filling was the only thing he could see.

The sun must have gone out… That’s not good… How will…? How…

 

 

       An unsteady voice sobbed, “Cherry Pie…”

       His hand hurt.

       Steve struggled to open an eye, but when he moved, whatever was hurting his hand tightened. The grip made his eyes squeeze shut again. Someone gasped and spoke in a hushed voice, “Cherry Pie?”

       Finally, with a herculean effort, Steve managed to open an eye.

       “Cherry Pie!” Captain Kirk screamed, tears in his eyes, his voice bordering on hysterical.

       Steve gasped, “My… Hand…”

       Kirk was grasping his hand with the force of a vice grip in his excitement.

       “Cherry Pie! You’re alive! Oh, Cherry Pie!”

       “Let go of my hand!” Steve managed to say.

       “Oh!” Kirk noticed his grip and let go. “We thought you were dead after we went through that last portal!”

       “What?” Steve murmured, “What happened, I don’t remember…”  
       “We ended up in dream Universes. The rest of us managed to connect the dreams when we realized we were dreaming. We found your dream too, but we couldn’t reach you. You just sat there. We had to leave without you. After a while we all got out fine and poured into the same room. When you got out, you were bleeding and unconscious. I don’t know how you got out, but it seems like opening your portal involved you getting shot…” Kirk explained. “Luckily, we ended up in a hospital. The portal is already open to go to the next place, but we got you treated first. You’ve been out for a long time.”

       Steve laughed. Of course it was a dream… “What dreams did you guys end up in?”

       “It was an awful nightmare…” Kirk shuddered, “I was cooking cherry pie, but it was you in the pie, not cherries…”

       “Dr. Sexy… ” Dean chimed in from the other side of the room. He was standing next to the portal. “Anyways, whenever you’re ready to go, Steve, we should go.”  
       “Alright. Do you mind if I just sleep first? I’m pretty exhausted…”  
       “Sure. We could all use some sleep.”

       “I agree.” Said Kirk as he climbed into the hospital bed with Steve and cuddled with him until they fell asleep.


	52. Devil Trapped (Boyband AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Luci

               “’Devil Trapped is currently the hottest band in the world.  The five teenage heartthrobs, Sam, Dean, Castiel, Kevin, and Harry, have been taking the world by storm.  After all, how could they not?  With catchy songs like “It’s a Supernatural Kind of Love,” “Black Eyed Girl,” and “You’re the only Angel for me,” already on the table, the world can’t help but wonder, what’s next for the one British and four American pop stars?

               “’We were lucky enough to interview one of the members of Devil Trapped about their upcoming album, Hell’s Gates.  This is what Kevin “Asian Invasion” Tran had to say:

               “’”It’s not like anything we’ve ever done before,” he said.  “We’re really expanding our market.  I think this album will not only please the current fans, but introduce us to listeners of other genres.”

               “’We can’t wait to see how this album works out for the boys.  Next, One Perfection break up?’”

               JJ finished reading the article from the latest addition of Sixteen magazine, then looked up to her friends, who were a bit busy freaking out of the contents of the article.

               “New album!” Jo squealed, hugging her phone to her chest.  Her case had a picture of Dean on it.

               Charlie laughed.  “Jo, we’ve known about the album for weeks!”

               “I know, but every time I hear about it I get all excited again!”

               JJ, Jo, Charlie, and Ezri sat together in JJ’s bedroom.  They had all walked to her house after school that day to hang.  JJ was sprawled out on her bed, Ezri sat in a chair, and the other two girls were comfortable on the floor.  JJ’s room was covered in posters, mainly of Sam from Devil Trapped.  She considered herself his biggest fan.  Ezri liked to disagree.

               JJ was still looking at the magazine.  “I’m just surprised they didn’t mention it,” she muttered.

               Ezri looked at her friend.  “Mention what?”

               “You know, the tour.”

               “Tour?!”

               “Yeah, it begins in a few months.” JJ looked at her friend’s shocked faces.  “Wait, you guys really didn’t hear?  After the album is released, Devil Trapped is going on a three month tour!  They’re even coming to Kansas City!”

               The three girls gasped.

               “We _have_ to go see them.  Oh my God how long have you known?” Jo asked, jumping up on the bed.

               “They announced it not too long ago.  How did you _not_ hear?”

               “Let’s go!  We have to go.  We can go together!”

               “Jo, as much as I’d like to go, I can’t,” said Charlie.  “There’s no way the parents would give me the money for a ticket.”

               “Same,” sighed Ezri.

               “Well, then, we can raise the money,” said Jo. “It can’t be too much for the tickets, right JJ?”

               JJ shook her head.  “It can be up to 300 dollars a ticket.  Even the nosebleed seats are like 125 bucks.”

               “When do tickets go on sale?”

               JJ shrugged.  “As far as I know they’re already selling them.”

               “Okay, so let’s make a plan.  First, talk to parents, try to get money.  We’ll then have to raise the rest of the money ourselves.”

               “How?  We aren’t old enough to get jobs.”

               “So?  Babysit. Work around the house.  Pet sit.  Beg the grandparents.  Ladies, we are getting to this concert.  Everyone with me?”

               JJ nodded.  “Sounds like a plan.”

               “I’m in,” said Ezri.

               “I’m still not sure,” Charlie said hesitantly.

               “We all know you prefer One Perfection,” Jo said, rolling her eyes, “but come on!  It’ll be fun!”

               Charlie sighed.  “Alright I’m in.  And for your information, One Perfection _was_ good.  Then Zach left.”

               “We know, Charlie, we know.  Alright girls, let’s do this.”

               “Happy anniversary, Cherry Pie,” said Jimmy Kirk, smiling across the table at his boyfriend.  He and Steve sat together at a booth at the nicest restaurant Jimmy could afford.  It wasn’t the best, but neither of the teenagers noticed.

               “I can’t believe it’s been a whole year,” Steve sighed.  He was clothed in his finest plaid pajama pants.

               “Me neither.”  Jimmy took a deep breath.  “Steve, listen.  I really wanted to get you something, something as amazing as you. The only problem was there is _nothing_ in this entire world that even comes close to your level of amazingness.  So, I had to settle with this.”  Jimmy pulled an envelope out of his pocket.  “I saved for months to get these for you, and I just know you’ll love it.” He handed the envelope to Steve, who was wiping tears from his eyes.  “Happy anniversary.”

               Steve stared wide eyed at the envelope in his hands. He opened it slowly.  Steve gasped when he saw what was inside.  “No way,” he said under his breath.  He looked up at Jimmy.  “You didn’t.”

               “But I did.  Two tickets to see Devil Trapped this summer.  I know they’re your favorite band.”

               Steve dropped the envelope and practically hurdled over the table.  He gathered Jimmy in a tight embrace.  “Thank you, thank you, oh my God!”

               “Happy anniversary, Cherry Pie.”

               “Happy anniversary.”

               Dean Winchester remembered very vividly when he had first decided he wanted to be a rock star.  He wanted to travel the world with his brother, rocking out to music he had written himself.  His music would be _good,_ unlike most of the crap they play on the radio nowadays.  He and Sam were going to take the world by storm.

               Which was admittedly what they did, even if it wasn’t in the way Dean had always imagined.

               Dean and his brother were discovered when they decided to try out for a talent television show.  Less than a year later they were signed on with some new age recording company, and, just like that, they were in a boyband.  They were told they’d be the biggest thing since one cent pony rides at supermarkets, and they were.  Teenagers loved them, parents thought they were charming, and little kids wanted to be them.

               Dean loved being in the band and performing, even if it wasn’t exactly his style of music.  He loved working with Cas, Harry, and Kevin.  They were amazing performers and great friends.  And the _fans_. Dean was so grateful for his fans. They were some of the most amazing people in the world in his eyes.  Even the so called “crazed fangirls.” Dean knew they all meant well, even the shippers.

               “Destiel” had sort of become a joke between the five members of Devil Trapped.  The fanart, fanfiction, fan theories, and every other noun that began with “fan” was incredible to Dean.  How could these people spend so much of their time obsessing over a relationship that didn’t even exist?

                _Yet,_ Dean thought, then shock his head.  He couldn’t let thoughts like that get in his head.  Those pesky thoughts always comin’ in, messin with Dean’s head… so pesky.  He knew Cas wasn’t- _couldn’t_ \- be into him like that. There was no way.   _Still…_

“Hey Dean,” it was Sam.  “You ready?  We’ll be in Kansas City soon.  The manager called, he said be ready for a warm welcome.”

               “Great, that means fans?”

               “Apparently they’ve lined the streets.”

               “I still don’t get it.  Why?”

               Sam shrugged.  “I have no clue.”

               Sure enough, the streets of Kansas City were lined with weepy fangirls.  They held signs saying things like “I know _I’m_ Devil Trapped!” and “Is Destiel canon yet?”  Dean even thought he saw a girl with completely black contacts in, clearly a reference to their song “Black Eyed Girl.”

               “I’ll never understand the ways of the fans,” said Kevin, joining the brothers in looking out the windows of the tour bus.

               “Me neither,” this was Harry.

               Cas soon joined them at the windows.  The five of them stood together, waving to the fans.

               “Where are we even going?” Dean asked.

               “The hotel, I think,” said Sam.

               “They’re not going to follow us again, are they?” Dean asked, looking back out the windows.  He loved his fans, but sometimes sleep was more appealing than the shrieks of hundreds of teenage girls.

               “Probably,” Sam answered.  “The concert’s not even until tomorrow, so they’ll have to go home eventually, right?”

Wrong.

              Dean got what he figured to be around two hours of sleep.  During the night he had no less than three people try to break into his hotel room, fifteen notes slid under the door to the room, and one pair of used panties fly in through the open window, which was now securely latched closed.

              By the time he had to get ready for the concert, Dean was really wondering what was wrong with the hotel security.


	53. Devil Trapped Pt 2 (Boyband AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Luci

 It had only taken months of working odd jobs and shameless begging before Jo, JJ, Ezri, and Charlie had saved up enough money for the tickets.  It was now the night of the concert, and they were all piled into Jo’s mom’s pickup. They had Hell’s Gates blasting from the speakers, much to Jo’s mom’s dismay.

               “Thanks for driving us, Ms. Ellen,” said Charlie.

               “It’s absolutely no problem.  You girls sure you’ll be alright by yourselves?  I’m sure I can still get a ticket and come in-“

               “No mom, we’re fine,” said Jo, rolling her eyes.

               “Oh, alright.  I just worry about you.”

               “Mom, I know how to break a man’s leg in four different ways.  We’ll be fine.”

               “I know, I know.  Where did you want me to drop you off again?”  said Ellen.  They were now in the parking lot.  It was completely filled with cars.

               “Preferably at the doors,” Jo looked to the long line of cars before the door.  “Actually, here’s good.  Thanks, mom.”

               Ellen got a chorus of “thank yous” as the four girls got out of the car.

               “Remember, use the pepper spray if you need to!” Ellen called to the girls.

               The four friends weaved their way through the hectic parking lot, Jo taking the lead.  She wore a Devil Trapped t-shirt and had her hair up in a ponytail.  Ezri followed, she too was wearing a Devil Trapped tee, with a slightly different design.  Then came JJ, whose shirt was of Sam, who was giving the signature “blue steel.” Charlie didn’t own any of the band’s merch, but she was wearing one of Jo’s rubber bracelets that featured an actual devil’s trap.

               After a few minutes of trying to avoid being hit by cars, the girls finally made it to the doors.

               “Well ladies, this is it,” said Jo.

               “The promised land,” Ezri said breathily.

“Sam is in this very building!” JJ squealed.  Ezri glared at her.

               “No fighting, you two,” said Charlie.  “Let’s go in, we’re blocking the doors.”

               Together, the four girls stepped inside, looking around in awe.  The lobby of the building wasn’t much to see.  It was filled mostly with teenage girls and a few confused looking fathers. The room contained a security station, which the girls got in line for behind a young couple.

               The girls started to talk about which songs they thought the band was going to perform.

               “If they play ‘Contract on your Soul’ I’m literally going to cry,” said Ezri.

               “Oh my God that song is amazing!  I hope they play ‘Fall from Heaven.’  Cas’s solo in that song gives me chills every single time I hear it,” Jo said.

               The couple in front of the girls was also talking about which songs they thought the band was going to play.  One of the boys turned around when he heard this.

               “You like ‘Fall from Heaven?’”

               “Yeah man!” said Jo.

               “Not a lot of people like that song for some reason. I just don’t get it,” the mystery boy said.  He was wearing ratty plaid pajama pants and a Devil Trapped t-shirt.

               “I know right!  I don’t get it!  I guess there’s too much raw emotion in that song for most people to handle.  I’m Jo, by the way.”        

               “I’m Steve.  This is Jimmy.”

               Jimmy waved to the girls.

               Jo kept talking.  “This is JJ, Ezri, and Charlie.”

               It wasn’t long until they reached the security station.  A guard looked through their purses and checked their tickets, then they were in.

               “We should go find our seats, but it was nice meeting you!” Jo said to Steve.

               “You too!  It was so nice to finally meet a _real_ fan.  See you around!”  Steve and Jimmy walked away, hand in hand, to find their seats.

               Jo turned to the rest of the girls.  “He thinks I’m a real fan,” she said with an air of mock superiority.

               Ezri rolled her eyes.  “Let’s just find our seats before the concert begins.”

               The girls wandered a bit until they found their seats.  They were by no means the greatest seats, but the girls thought they were perfect. They sat down and waited for the opening act.

               Not long after, the concert began.  Billy Ray Cyrus was opening for Devil Trapped.  He played some of his signature songs, which included “Storm in the Heartland,” “Wanna be your Joe,” “Hillybilly Heart,” and “I Want my Mullet back.”  He concluded his part of the concert with his number one song, “Achy Bracky Heart.” The crowd went wild.

               “It’s gon be hard ta top that,” said a dad in the row behind the girls.  He wore cowboy boots and had a mustache.  He probably wanted _his_ mullet back.  His daughter looked embarrassed.

               An announcer’s voice boomed through the stadium. “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Kansas City Music Hall.”

               The crowd screamed in response.

               “Please, turn off all cell phones and pagers.  We would like to take this time to tell you that texting during the performance is prohibited.  If there are children present, please keep them from kicking the seats.  Do not tape the concert on your cell phone, camera phone, digital camera, regular camera, iPad, iPod, iPhone, iWatch, camcorder, or laptop.  Remember, jaywalking is illegal in most states.  It may or may not be illegal in Kansas.  Not, without further ado, I would like to welcome, Devil Trapped!”

               The crowd, after recovering from their confusion, screamed.  The lights went out.  Suddenly, a single spot light illuminated the stage.  Fog rolled its way across the stage.  Sam, Dean, Cas, Kevin, and Harry rose from the floor, the intro to “Home to Kansas” played.  Once the band was properly on stage, Sam started singing his solo.

               In the audience, JJ and Ezri had both burst into tears.  Jo was singing along passionately with the music and recording the performance on her phone, ignoring what the announcer had said.  Charlie, who didn’t know the lyrics, was just sort of swaying to the music.

               Once “Home to Kansas” finished, Dean stepped forwards.  “How’s everyone doing tonight?”

               The crowd screamed again.

               “I’m Dean-“

               More screaming.

               “And we’re-“

               Screaming.

               “Devil Trapped!”

               The crowd was losing its shit at this point.

               “Hit it!”

               The song “Purgatory’s Real Estate Agent” began to play through the arena.  The crowd went nuts.  As Cas stepped forwards for his solo, several more people burst into tears.

               As the song finished, a new one began. “You’ve got a Spell on Me,” started with Harry’s solo.  Someone in the row in front of them started screaming.

               “Hell yeah!  I love this song!  I love you Harry!”

               Charlie turned to the boy.  “Colin?  Colin Creevey?”

               He turned around.  “Hey Charlie!”

               “You listen to Devil Trapped?”

               Colin looked offended.  “Me! No.”

               “But you just said you love this song?”

               “My girlfriend, Kaia, listens to them.”    

               “Kaia” turned around.  “He dragged me here.”

               Charlie stared for a moment before saying, “Nice talking to you, Creevey,” then turned her attention back to the concert.

               Devil Trapped was in the midst of the dance break in the middle of “New King in Hell.”  The boys moved together in perfect unison, busting out into the best hip hop moves known to man.  They popped and locked and hip hopped.  The song ended with Kevin doing a triple backwards flip into the splits.  The crowd roared.

               They concert continued with songs like “A Deal with a Demon,” “Contract on your Soul,” “Open the Gates of Hell,” “Let the Hellhounds drag me to Hell,” and a ton of other songs.  The crowd never died down for a second.  Tears were shed, ovaries exploded.  If they were a guy, they grew ovaries only to have them explode from the shear sexiness of the band.

               Ezri and JJ got into more than one fight over who Sam would prefer.  Jo recorded the whole thing on her phone, wanting to live in this moment forever. Charlie danced and sang along with the band.  Colin was having a “feels attack” because of Harry.  Kaia was annoyed.  Steve and Jimmy were enjoying the concert, too.  Jimmy hadn’t let go of Steve’s hand the entire time.

               The concert was over all too quickly.  As the final song, “On the Hunt” finished, the lights on stage went out.  The audience screamed, although the girls couldn’t hear it.  They were being transported into another universe.


	54. Nearly Immortal (My Immortal AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Luci
> 
> AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) 2 my bf (ew not in that way) sam, demonbloodboy666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok!

Hi my name is Dean Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way and I have black ebony hair with purple and red streaks and icy green eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Crowley (AN: if u don’t know who he is get da hell out of here!).  I’m not related to Lucifer but I wish I was cause he’s a major fucking hottie.  I’m a vampire but my teeth are straight and white.  I have pale white skin.  I’m also a wizard, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I’m in the seventh year (I’m seventeen).  I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black.  I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there.  For example I was wearing a long black leather coat with spikes all over it and a black t-shirt with skulls on it.  I was also wearing my fav combat boots.  I wore black eyeliner and white foundation.  I was walking outside Hogwarts.  It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about.  A lot of preps stared at me.  I put up my middle finger at them.

“Hey Dean!” shouted a voice. I looked up.  It was… Castiel!

“What’s up Cas?” I asked.

“Nothing.” he said shyly.

But then, I heard my friends call to me and I had to go away.

AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz!

Chapter 2.

AN: Fangz to demonbloodboy666 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok!

The next day I woke up in my bedroom.  It was snowing and raining again.  I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had.  My coffin was black ebony and inside it was red velvet. I got out of my coffin and took of my giant Demon Crew t-shirt which I used for pajamas.  Instead, I put on a waist length leather jacket, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black pants on.

My friend, Damion (AN: Sam dis is u!) woke up then and grinned at me.  He flipped his shoulder length brown hair with red streaks and opened his chocolate-brown eyes.  He put on his Rowena t-shirt and black pants.

“OMFG, I saw you talking to Castiel yesterday!” he said excitedly.

“Yeah? So?” I said, blushing.

“Do you like Cas?” he asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.

“No I so fucking don’t!” I shouted.

“Yeah right!” he exclaimed. Just then, Cas walked up to me.

“Hi.” he said.

“Hi.” I replied flirtily.

“Guess what.” He said.

“What?” I asked.

“Well, Devil Trapped is having a concert in Hogsmeade.” He told me.

“Oh. My. Fucking. God!” I screamed. I love DT.  They are my favorite band, besides DC.

“Well…. do you want to go with me?” he asked.

I gasped.

Chapter 3.

AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK! odderwize fangs 2 da goffik ppl 4 da good reviews! FANGS AGEN SAM! oh yeah, BTW I don’t dis or da lyrics 4 Devil Trapped.

On the night of the concert I put on my black lace up combat boots and black skinny jeans.  Then I put on my long black leather jacket.  I felt a little depressed then, so I read a depressing book and listened to DT.  I put on TONS of black eyeliner.  I drank some human blood and was ready to go to the concert.

I went outside.  Cas was waiting in front of his flying car. He was wearing a To Hell and Back t-shirt (they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: a lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!).

“Hi Cas!” I said in a depressed voice.

“Hi Dean.” he said back. We walked into his flying black Impala (the license plate said 666) and flew to the place with the concert.  On the way we listened excitedly to Devil Trapped and Lucifer.  We both smoked cigarettes and drugs.  When we got there, we both hopped out of the car.  We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Devil Trapped.

“Kevin is so fucking hot,” I said to Cas, pointing at him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.

Suddenly Cas looked sad.

“What’s wrong?” I asked as we moshed to the music.  Then I caught on.

“Hey, it’s ok I don’t like him better than YOU!” I said.

“Really?” asked Cas sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.

“Really.” I said. “Besides I don’t even know Kevin and he’s going out with Harry fucking Potter.  I fucking hate that little bitch.” I said disgustedly, thinking of his ugly scarred face.

The night went really well, and I had a great time.  So did Cas. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Harry and Kevin for their autographs and photos with them. We got DT concert tees.  Cas and I crawled back into the Impala, but Cas didn’t go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into… the Forbidden Forest!

Chapter 4.

AN: I sed stup flaming ok Dean’s name is DAEN nut jensen OK! CAS IS SOO IN LUV wif her dat he acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok!

“CAS!” I shouted. “What the fuck do you think you are doing?”

Cas didn’t answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it.  I walked out of it too, curiously.

“What the fucking hell?” I asked angrily.

“Dean?” he asked.

“What?” I snapped.

Cas leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and suddenly I didn’t feel mad anymore.

And then… suddenly just as I Cas kissed me passionately.  Cas climbed on top of me and we started making out keenly against a tree.  He took of my top and I took off his clothes. I even took off my underwear.  Then he put his thingie in my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.

“Oh! Oh! Oh!” I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then….

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING MOTHERFUCKERS!”

It was….. Dumbledore!

Chapter 5.

AN: STOP flaming! If u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr! Da only reason Dumbledeor swor is coz he had a hedache ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 habing sexx! PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws!

Dumbledore made and Cas follow him into…………………… another au!


	55. Duel Club (Hogwarts AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Father

Castiel sat in the classroom, looking around. He had never had Arithmancy with professor Coggshell, so he had never been in this room before. It was large, the rows of desks facing the front of the room where there was a large desk. In the back of the cavernous room, there was a long, rectangular dueling stage.

               Castiel had never once gotten a detention in his seven years here at Hogwarts. This was hardly the way he had hoped to meet this professor.

               Of course, he was early, therefore he was left alone in the room. He was left to his thoughts, inevitably, and soon enough, they had wandered to the head of the Hufflepuff Quidditch team, Dean Winchester. The first time he had taken notice of Dean was three years ago, when his older brother, Gabriel convinced him to go to a game to cheer on his house, and Gabriel, who was the head of the Ravenclaw team at the time. Dean was the Chaser, and he had won the game for his team that day. Cas remembered Gabriel being really mad that Ravenclaw lost, but since then, Cas had taken notice of the Hufflepuff boy. Not to mention his recently discovered feelings for him.

               But Dean probably didn’t think much of Cas. They had been paired up for an assignment in Charms class once, but Dean was so popular, and Cas was so not…Dean probably didn’t even remember that assignment.

               Cas _would_ have thought that way until yesterday. It was a Wednesday and that meant that Cas had a free period. He was wandering the halls when he was cornered by Octavius. When the two had first met in first year, Octavius had made it his mission to cause Cas as much agony as he could. Since then, Cas has been bullied by the boy and his goons. But that day, Octavius found him alone and he began picking at him. It started to get personal, and normally, Cas would have easily been able to defend himself, but he was loath to get in a fight. So he took it…like he always did. But Dean had happened to be passing by and he overheard the exchange. He intervened and defended Cas, then fought Octavius when it came to it.

               The three of them had been caught and sentenced to detention. So now, Cas was there, still confused over what happened that day, waiting for the others to arrive. His thoughts then wandered to the dueling stage in the back of the room. It made him uneasy.

               Just then, a tall girl with blonde, curly hair stormed into the room. Cas knew her as Paris, as she was a fellow Ravenclaw. She stomped to the desk across the room and sat, crossing her arms.

               Cas had never said they were friends.

               Not that he didn’t like her. He figured she was a great friend to those she cared about, and nice when she wanted to be. But her narcissism and arrogance kept them from becoming friends over the years.

               He looked over at her.

               She was sulking, glowering at the wall, facing away from Cas.

               The door opened and Cas looked to see who it was. His heart stuttered as Dean entered the room. Dean caught his eye and held it until he sat…right next to Castiel. Cas broke away from the stare and looked away, attempting to hide the blush that he knew painted his face. But when he looked back, Dean was looking at him.

               His lips curved up into a smile and Cas blushed again. _This was_ not _happening._

               The door banged open, startling the three of them. Filch, the janitor, shoved a slight boy into the room. He stumbled.

               “Next time I find you in the restricted section, you’ll be sorry!” yelled Mr. Filch. He then left, grumbling under his breath.

               Cas recognized the boy as Matt. They were in advanced Herbology together. Cas, because he loved the subject. Matt…well, because Cas was fairly sure the boy was in love with Professor Sprout.

               Matt perked up when he saw Paris in the back of the room and he took the seat next to her. She looked over at him and looked a little less mad as they started chatting quietly.

               The next person to come into the room was Luci Satin. When she stalked into the room, the air dropped a few degrees. Luci was a terrifying student and everyone thought she was the Heir to Slytherin or something. She had no friends and was apparently a Satanist. There were many rumors about her summoning demons. Once, it was believed that the rumors were true when a professor found a demon sulking around the halls deep in the castle, looking to possess someone. They banished it and all was well after that, but the suspicion on this girl became a dark cloud over her classmates.

               Cas shuddered as Luci took the desk behind him. He could feel her eyes on him like spiders on his neck. He felt her smile when the door opened and Octavius came in. Cas shivered as the room seemed to get even colder. If anyone else were to compete for the place of Heir of Slytherin, it would be Octavius. Cas knew he was coming to detention, but he was still dreading the moment he arrived.

               The door opened again and, hand in hand, in walked Hogwarts power couple, Steve and Jimmy K. Steve was a Ravenclaw and Jimmy was a Gryffindor. They had been dating for five years and everyone knew about them. Cas couldn’t imagine why they were in detention though.

               Lastly, Putin came in. He was being dragged in by the elbow by a tall, broad woman. She wore dark blue robes with an ornate eagle broach on her lapel. Her black hair was up in a ratty bun and she wore a stern look on her face. Her tiny eyes were perpetually squinted behind her pea-sized glasses. A gold chain hung around her neck from the glasses. Professor Coggshell.

               She sat Putin down in the first seat and then she continued to her desk. She stood behind the desk, staring at the kids before her. Then she narrowed her eyes even further, if that was even possible.

               “Ya’ll are here for a reason,” she said, slowly, pronouncing each work carefully. “I don’t care what you did, but now you’re in my club………………the Duel Club.”

               When she said “the Duel Club”, it seemed like she was building up for it, but she said it so blandly. In fact, her entire speech was making Cas want to fall asleep or zone out, it was so bland.

               “I told Headmaster…..” she took a deep breath. “Dumbledore that no one was…joining my club so he put you all in it……as punishment for whatever it was you did to get detention.”

               Her beady little eyes looked around the room, stopping for a little over three seconds on each student. Then she bared her teeth and sucked in a big breath through them. She let it out slowly and settled her eyes on Castiel.

               “Today, we’re going to learn how to duel.” She said, unenthusiastically. “Everyone go to the platform, and getchur wands out.”

               She hobbled to the back of the room in an awkward powerwalk, her heels echoing through the room. The students got up and slowly followed her to the platform. It was long and rectangular and came to about waist level.

               “Oh man, can you believe this woman?” Dean whispered, leaning over to Castiel. Cas held back a snort, but Coggshell whipped her head around to them.

               “Who said that?” she snapped. She looked right at Dean and squinted her already squinted eyes at him. She pointed a long finger at him. “Was it you?”

               “Uhh…” Dean stuttered, his eyes wide.

               “You. Up on the platform. You’re going first.” Her finger retreated back to its position with the other one; held in front of her chest as if she were pausing in her sinister hand rub. “Who volunteers to go against Mr. Winchester?”

               Octavius’s hand shot up enthusiastically. Professor Coggshell glared at each student before laying eyes on Octavius. She stared at him for a bit before saying, “Very well. Get up there.”

               Octavius excitedly scrambled onto the platform and smiled wide at Dean, showing off his teeth that were filed into sharp points. Dean cringed.

               “Get outchur wands.” She ordered. Dean and Octavius both pulled their wands out and held them up, Dean’s sagging and shaking slightly. “Step to the center of the platform and face each other.”

               They did. “Now bow to each other.”

               Dean bowed, keeping his eyes on Octavius. Octavius just spat at Dean’s feet.

               “BOW.” She repeated.

               Octavius bowed sarcastically low, sneering at Coggshell. They both stood again.

               “Now turn away from each other and take ten steps away.” She instructed. They began walking. “I SAID TEN. NOT ELEVEN. You, take a step back. No, back. HEY. STAY WHERE YOU ARE. Yes, stay there. No I said step backSTAYTHERE back. Now stay. Good.”

               The two of them stood there, waiting for further instruction. “Now both of you raise your wands and prepare for the duel.”

               They both raised their wands. Dean took a ready stance and watched as Octavius took a convoluted dance to get to an elaborate stance.

               “No forbidden curses, no black magic, no death spells, no illness spells, no stabbing, no punching, no cussing, no spitting, no spraying of any bodily fluids at all, no hydraulics, no shouting, no running, no crawling, no rolling, no chewing gum, no hexes, no biting, no flailing, no firehoses, no bombs, no eye rolling, no sexual harassment, no hair in faces, no put-downs, no jinxes, no touching, no summoning, no stealing, no spreading rumors, no cell phones, no firearms, and MOST OF ALL, NO EATING OR DRINKING.” She said, nodding to herself. “This is a safe environment. I don’t want to see anyone breaking these rules.”

               She stood there and stared at each one of us for an uncomfortable amount of time before continuing. “Now, begin.”


	56. Duel Club Pt 2 (Hogwarts AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Father

“Now, begin.”

               Octavius immediately screeched, “STUPIFY!” but Dean blocked it just in time. Octavius kept throwing curse after curse, screaming every one. Dean kept blocking and dodging, just barely avoiding each one, unable to throw any of his own.  

               “Bombarda!” Dean finally managed to yell. His spell exploded in front of Octavius. But through the explosion, Octavius leaped at Dean, tackling him to the floor. He pinned Dean to the floor and straddled him. Dean struggled to get away, but Octavius pinned his arms above his head, wrestling Dean’s wand from his hand. He tossed it to the side. Dean looked up at him with terrified eyes. Octavius looked thrilled, his teeth bared, his forked tongue darting in and out with a breathy hiss, much like a snake.

               Dean realized that Octavius was about to bite into his neck. So as soon as he bared down on Dean, Dean flipped him over and got out of his grasp, hopping to his feet and scrambling away from the wild animal. Octavius screeched and wheeled around, trying to grab Dean again. Dean dodged his swipe, running and rolling out of the way. Dean saw his wand laying on the edge of the platform and he grabbed it mid-roll. He hopped back to his feet and pointed his wand at Octavius.

               Octavius hissed again. “AVADA KEDAVRA!” he screeched. Dean dodged before realizing what had just been shot at him. The students watching all gasped in horror, except Luci, who was checking her nails with a mildly amused expression on her face.

               “Expelliarmus!” Dean shouted. The spell shot at Octavius but he blocked it.

               “Defodio!” yelled Octavius. Dean just managed to block the horrific spell. _Why was Coggshell letting him use these spells?!_ Dean thought, out of breath and panicked.

               “Colloshoo!” Dean shot at Octavius’s feet. Octavius stopped in his advance toward Dean. He looked down at his feet, which were now stuck to the floor. Dean used this moment to catch his breath. Octavius looked back at Dean, a smile creeping up his face.

               Dean flinched even before he said the spell. “Carpe Retractum,” Octavius growled. A rope shot from the end of his wand and wrapped around Deans feet. Dean was yanked to the floor and he began sliding across the platform to Octavius. He tried frantically to grab something but there was nothing to grab.

               “Expelliarmus! Expelliarmus! Expelliarmus!” Octavius deflected each one. “Stupify! Cantis! Confringo!” Still, Octavius blocked each spell and Dean was soon at Octavius’s feet. Dean looked around in desperation, but as soon as he got close enough, Octavius jumped him, pinning him to the ground once more. He disarmed Dean once again and pinned his arms above his head. He hissed in Dean’s face, spraying saliva. Dean squeezed his eyes shut and turned his head. _This is it,_ he thought. _This is how I die._ Octavius bared his deadly teeth and prepared to rip into Dean’s throat.

               “That’s enough.” Said Coggshell in a bored tone. She held up a hand. “Octavius is the winner.”

               Octavius smiled and stood up. Dean stayed on the ground, panting in relief and shock.

               “See? Simple. All you have to do is disarm your opponent.” She said, then took a long breath before continuing. “Well done Octavius, you may both leave the platform. Let someone else take a turn.”

               Cas, Paris, Matt, Jimmy, Steve, and Putin stared in horror, their mouths hanging open.

               To the song Ballroom Blitz*, the next unlucky opponents were chosen to step up to the plate. Paris against Cas. They walked to each other in the center. Paris whispered an apology up front before they bowed.

                Their match didn’t last long because Paris immediately cast a protection spell around herself then shot a quick “Expelliarmus!” disarming Cas right away.

               Cas watched as Octavius scowled and shook his head on the other side of the platform.

               Steve and Jimmy went up next. They began, but their duel ended up being mostly gross flirting and not-so-subtle sexual innuendoes. Jimmy ended it by seductively dropping his wand with an unconvincing “Oops!”

               Next up was Luci against Matt. They bowed and walked away from each other. Right as Coggshell said to begin, Luci said, “Sectumsempra!” in her bubbly voice. She giggled. Matt dodged it and threw a few spells of his own, Luci blocking and dodging each one.

               “Everte Statum!” he yelled. It hit Luci right in the chest and she flew back. But she quickly recovered and got up.

               “Petrificus Totalus!” she said sassily. Matt’s entire body froze up and he fell to the ground. Luci skipped over to him. “Baubillious!” she shot three of those spells at Matt, white bursts of light shooting from her wand. Matt twitched each time. “Wingardium Leviosa!”

               She lifted Matt into the air and tossed him around for a bit, giggling the whole time. Then she threw him back on the ground and refreshed the Petrificus spell.

               “Crucio!” she said cheerfully, a happy grin of her face.

               “Stop! Professor, make her stop!” yelled Paris.

               “Luci, Stop!” Dean tried getting her attention.

               Paris tried to get Coggshell to stop Luci but she was too busy picking her nails. While Luci was having a good ‘ol time up on the platform, Dean, Cas, Paris, Jimmy, Steve, and Putin frantically tried to get her to stop. But she didn’t seem to be hearing them, so Dean climbed onto the platform. Paris followed. Dean tried to wrestle Luci’s wand from her hand but she pushed him away. Paris yelled, “Expelliarmus!” at Luci from behind.

               Luci’s wand flew from her hand. Paris rushed to Matt’s side as Dean confronted Luci.

               “Hey. No interfering allowed.” Said Coggshell, although she didn’t do anything to stop it.

               Cas got onto the platform and went to Matt.

               “What the hell is wrong with you?!” Dean yelled at Luci.

               “Jeez, don’t have a cow. I was just having some fun,” she said with a shrug.

               Cas and Paris began reversing the spells on Matt, healing him and helping him up.

               “Well, I guess Mr. Terryn is the winner.” Said Coggshell. Luci huffed and crossed her arms. “I suppose that’s enough for today. I’ll see you all next week.”

               The next day, everyone was still slightly shocked from the Duel Club, and they were definitely _not_ looking forward to next week’s meeting. Paris and Matt were hanging out with their friends in the courtyard, telling them about the club.

               “And he was about to eat Dean or something!” said Matt.

               “Like… _eat_ him or…” asked Kara, looking horrified. She flipped her green scarf over her shoulder.

               “Yes. Eat him. He was going to bite into his neck,” said Matt.

               “That’s horrible! Didn’t anyone try to stop him?” asked Colleen.

               “Where was the professor?” asked Ashley, a Slytherin.

               “She was there the whole time! She didn’t do anything!” said Paris.

               “I heard that Luci was there,” said Gacé, a Gryffindor. “What happened with her?”

               Matt and Paris told them about what happened with Matt and Luci’s duel. Kara, Gacé, Ashley, Colleen, Kaia, and JJ all listened, horrified.

               Potions class was Dean’s third class of the day. It was his favorite because his friend, Benny, was in it. Benny was a fellow Hufflepuff. He was on the Quidditch team. Not to mention that Cas was in the class and gave Dean a whole class period to stare at him. He didn’t want to be creepy or anything, but anything to get that boy’s attention. Dean had liked him for three years and he was pretty sure Cas didn’t even know he existed.

               “So, how did detention go yesterday?” asked Benny in his Louisiana drawl, snapping Dean out of his thoughts.

               “It was crazy. We had to join the Duel Club and the professor is nuts. She put out all these rules for the dueling, but then she didn’t even enforce them. I almost died, like…I seriously almost got eaten or something. And ya know Matt? The kid who’s in love with Professor Sprout?”

               “Umm, is he the one who leaves his homework all over the common room but never does it?”

               “Yeah, him. Luci was outright torturing him. She even used the Cruciatus Curse on him. And Coggshell didn’t even do anything!”

               “It was Coggshell?” Benny shook his head. “Brother, that woman is five kinds of crazy. I had her for Arithmancy last semester. I hated her.”

               “Yeah, she’s out of her mind,” said Dean, angry at the memory.

               “But at least you got to spend time with your boy,” Benny said in a lighter tone, motioning to Cas across the room. “Did you talk to him?”

               “Yeah, a bit,” said Dean, smiling and feeling his face heat up.

               “A bit, c’mon brother! That’s your chance to get to know each other!” he said.

               “I know, I know. Next week, for sure,” he said, glancing back at Cas. He caught his eye and shot him a smile. Cas smiled back then looked away.        

               Steve and Jimmy were in a janitor’s closet, furiously making out. They had planned on meeting up with Jimmy’s friends, Spock, Chekov, Bones, Scotty, Sulu, and Uhura to talk about the club meeting. But instead, Steve was pushed up against the wall and Jimmy had his hands up his shirt. It was getting heated.

               Just then, door opened and Filch stood there with a disgusted look on his face.

               “Get to class,” he growled, pulling them out.

               The next Wednesday came along and they all met up in the Arithmancy classroom, dreading what was in store for them this time. They all waited in the classroom, Dean, Cas, Paris, and Matt all sitting together. Luci sat nearby, staring at them. Octavius sat behind her, flicking pieces of paper at her. Jimmy and Steve sat in the back, whispering stuff to each other and kissing.

               Professor Coggshell powerwalked into the room with her odd wobble and sat behind her desk. She stared at them for a long moment, the time stretching into minutes. Then she squinted her tiny eyes.

               “We’ll be doing more dueling today.” She said, then took a long breath. “Let’s get on go back out there now and we can start.”

               They all got up and went back there, gathering around the dueling platform.

               “First is gon be Castiel and Matthew.” She said. Then she stepped back.

               Matt got onto the platform, followed by Cas. They met in the middle, bowed, then turned and took ten steps away from each other. They took their ready stances and waited for the signal to begin. She held up her hand then let it drop.

               “Expelliarmus!” Cas shot. He figured it was worth a shot starting with that. But Matt blocked it and came back with a, “Rictusempra!”

               Cas fell to the floor in a fit of laughter. He was being tickled all over! He managed to stutter out the counter spell between giggles and then he quickly got back on his feet and shot a “Stupify!”

               The spell hit Matt in the shoulder and he was thrown back. “Confringo!” Matt yelled, still on the ground. Castiel jumped out of the way just as the spell hit the ground where he was standing, exploding into a fiery explosion.

               “Expelliarmus!” Cas yelled. Matt’s wand flew from his hand, ending the duel.

               The next duel was between Steve and Dean. Dean won pretty quickly and it moved onto Putin and Octavius. It went similarly to Octavius’ first duel with Dean, accept this time, Octavius ended it by snatching Putin’s wand from his hand, snapping it in half over his knee, then throwing the two pieces on the ground. Then he charged at him, lifting his own wand. His hand darted down in a blur, stabbing his wand into Putin’s neck and back out.

               Putin fell to the ground, bleeding out from his neck.

               Paris and Luci went up next. Paris met Luci in the center with a terrified look on her face, and bowed. They walked away from each other and took their stances. Paris’ hand was shaking. The duel started and Paris yelled, “Protego!” casting a shield around herself. Luci scowled and tried throwing some spells and curses at her. They parried back and forth for a while until Paris finally managed to disarm Luci.

               On their way out of club that day, Paris, Matt, Dean, and Cas were walking together. Luci came up to them and began walking next to Paris.

               “We should be friends,” she said to Paris. Paris looked at her. A thousand thoughts flitted through her mind before she settled on the safest answer she could think of.

               “O-okay,” she said with a nervous smile.

               “Cool,” Luci smiled and kept walking with them.

               Paris glanced at the others, who had went silent to watch the exchange.


	57. Duel Club Pt 3 (Hogwarts AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Father

The next week, the club met outside on a grassy knoll. There was a scatter of trees off to the side, a shed, a few stumps, and a huge boulder that towered over everyone. After waiting for a while, the group finally looked over and saw Professor Coggshell hobbling over to them from the school. It took her about fifteen minutes for her to reach them, all of them watching her patiently on her way over. Then she took another five minutes to catch her breath before speaking.

               “Alright. Today, we’ll be doing something different. Ya’ll are gonna meet right here in the middle, bow to each other, and then go off and battle. The last one standing is the winner.” She explained.

               Everyone looked at each other. _Last one standing?_ Cas thought. That was new. New and completely terrifying. He saw his own fear reflected in the faces of his friends. Of course, Luci and Octavius looked thrilled and excited.

               Coggshell instructed everyone to their places facing each other. The sky was getting darker and the sunset illuminated the top of the boulder, bathing it in orange light. Coggshell said, “Go!” and they all scattered away from each other. Paris cast a protection spell around herself and ran to the trees. Octavius leapt into action, but his attention was so divided that he just twisted around back and forth, hissing and drooling with excitement.

               Matt had disappeared. Luci had disappeared. Cas ran to the shed before he could see where Dean had went. As he rounded the corner of the shed, he reared away from a huge, rusty nail that was sticking out of the wall. Someone was sure to get hurt on that thing. He hid behind the shed and strained his ears to hear people coming. He heard a shout and footsteps running. He heard the footsteps stumble and a body hit the ground, followed by a scream. Cas couldn’t tell who it was. His heartbeat quickened and his breathing became labored. _Stay calm, stay calm, stay calm,_ he repeated to himself. He feared that he would not last long; his wand hand was sweating and his grip kept slipping. His knuckles were white and his hands were both shaking.

               Just then, someone barreled around the corner of the shed, dodging the rusty nail just as Cas had done, pointing their wand right at Cas. Cas, startled, also pointed his wand at the intruder. It took him several seconds to recognize Dean at the end of his wand. They stared at each other, silently asking if they should lower their wands or not, not wanting to speak for fear of catching the attention of anyone else.

               Dean lifted his fingers, then lifted both hands, Cas following suit. They both lowered their wands and put their backs against the shed, side by side. They stayed silent, waiting for any hint of approaching footsteps.

               They looked at each other when they heard footsteps making their way to the shed. They lifted their wands and pointed. Paris stumbled around the corner, pointing her wand at the pair when she saw them. They stayed in a silent standoff for a whole minute before Paris whispered, “Please. He’s after me.”

               They all lowered their wands and pulled her against the wall. They stayed there, Paris’s breathing the only thing filling the silence.

               Startling all of them out of the silence, a screech sounded from above, and a body launched off of the roof, landing right in front of them. Paris screamed and lifted her wand. Octavius rose and turned to face the trio. He had a wide, maniac grin on his face, showing off his sharpened teeth. Paris seemed to be frozen in fear, unable to speak. Dean and Cas both shot spells at Octavius but they bounced away. He had a protection spell around him.

               He rushed forward and grabbed Paris’s arm. He pulled her away from the shed and flung her to the ground. She rolled, then pointed her wand at him from the ground, shooting a few frantic spells. Dean and Cas both rushed to help her but he shot a “Petrificus Totalus” at both of them, freezing them to the spot. He turned back to Paris, his forked tongue darting in and out in a hiss. She stared up at him, horror in her eyes.

               “Please don’t…” she begged weakly. He stepped up to her and kicked her wand out of her hand. He picked it up and snapped it in half over his knee. With the two broken halves of her wand, he sliced at her, but she rolled out of the way, getting away with a cut on her cheek. He swiped again and again, leaving slices on her arms and her side. He stood over her and dramatically licked the blood from one half of her wand. Then he threw them to the ground and pulled out his own wand, lifting it.

               “Avada Kedavera!” he screeched. But before the curse even left the wand, and blue flash of light knocked it away.

               From the ground, Cas saw Matt storming over to them. He shoved Octavius away from Paris and stepped between them, shooting a counter spell at Octavius’s protection.

               “Stupify!” Matt shouted at him, pushing him farther away. They shot back and forth at each other, Octavius’s voice getting louder and screechier with each spell. Octavius jumped to the side and tried to shoot another death curse at Paris, but Matt shot it away and let loose another “Stupify!”

               Octavius was flung back, slamming against the wall of the shed.

               Everyone stared in horror as Octavius stayed upright, his dead eyes staring straight ahead. Blood trickled down his forehead and ran down his face. The tip of the rusty nail was sticking out right between his eyes.

               From somewhere else in the field over by the trees, they heard a shout and then the giggling laughter of Luci.

               “Babe!!” shouted Steve.

               “Cherry Pie! I’m okay! Go get her!” said Jimmy K.

               The Petrificus spell wore off and Dean and Cas stood up. They rushed to Paris’s side along with Matt, and started healing her. Then they all got up and ran to where they heard the shouts. They found Jimmy K. sprawled in the leaves, his wand out of his reach. Steve was battling with Luci, defending Jimmy. They joined his effort, the five of them managing to disarm her.

               After that, they all went to find Professor Coggshell. They all dropped their wands in front of her, declaring no winner.

               The next day, Dean, Cas, Paris, Matt, Jimmy, and Steve discussed meeting that night in the Astronomy tower. They were going to come up with a plan to escape the Duel Club.

               “I still think we should go to Dumbledore with this,” said Matt, sitting against the railing. The night was illuminated by the full moon. A slight breeze fluttered through the top of the tower.

               “I don’t know,” said Dean. “I still think that’s a bad idea.”

               “Well, what if we tell another teacher?” suggested Cas.

               Before anyone could answer, the stairs creaked, making them all look over to them. Luci walked up them with something loud and flapping in her grasp. She stopped at the top of the stairs and stared at them. She was holding a chicken by the legs, the bird flapping and struggling to get out of her grasp.

               “Oh, I apologize,” she said sweetly. “I didn’t realize the tower was occupied tonight.”

               They all stared at her and the bird.

               “What’s with the bird?” asked Dean.

               “Oh this?” she lifted it. “Just a sacrifice. Do you mind if I perform the ritual? It will only take a few minutes.”

               Without waiting for an answer, she walked over to the side and pulled out a black cauldron. She placed it in the center of the room, in the middle of a chalk drawn pentagram on the ground that no one had realized was there previously. Then, before anyone could even stop her, she sliced the bird open with a knife, letting the blood spill into the cauldron. Then she flung the bird over her shoulder, off of the tower.

               “Okay, no. I can’t allow this,” said Paris, breaking the uneasy silence. “I don’t know about you guys, but I can’t sit around and let this happen.”

               Luci stood up and said, “What are you going to do to stop me?” A cute smile played on her lips.

               “I’m going to ask you to leave,” said Paris, approaching her. Luci only smiled.

               “We should go out some time,” said Luci.

               “What?” Paris stared at her. “You think this is a joke? You think you can just go around doing whatever the hell you want, just because your family is all rich alumni of the school?”

               She was backing Luci up more and more as she spoke.

               “You think you can just take whatever you want? You think you can just summon demons all the time and sacrifice stuff to Lucifer? You almost killed my friends! You tortured Matt! How can you be so nonchalant about this? ‘We should go out’?! What did you expect me to say?”

               She was jabbing her finger into the girl’s chest. But she was cut off midsentence when Luci’s foot caught on something on the floor. Her eyes widened as she started to fall backwards. Paris gasped and tried to reach out for her, but Luci was falling backwards off of the edge. And before anyone could do anything, Luci was tumbling down the side of the tower. She landed on the ground, the sound inaudible.

               Paris stared over the edge of the tower in shocked silence. A hand came up to cover her mouth as she stumbled back.

               “I-I didn’t mean to do that…” she stuttered. “I didn’t mean to do that.”

               The others all ran to her, half of them going to the edge to look down at Luci’s body on the ground below.

               “Guys, look!” said Dean, pointing down at her. Cas looked and saw a crack of yellow light across Luci’s chest. It got brighter and brighter and started streaming from her chest. The streams of light swirled around and wrapped around the tower. They rose up the walls of the tower until they enveloped everything in blinding light, and it transported everyone to the next world.


	58. Hunger Games (Hunger Games AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Luci

Dean was not looking forwards to this evenings activities.

               Every year, the people of his country, Panem, were forced to partake in a series of games known as the Hunger Games.  Each of the twelve districts had to give up one male and one female victor between the ages of 12 and 18 to compete in these games. It was believed the games kept the peace.  Dean thought they kept people in fear.

               The way the contestants were chosen was by a raffle, called the reaping.  If you were 12, you got your name put in once, 13 your name was put in twice, and so on. If you needed to, you could have your name put in more, and in return you got food.  Dean thought it was an unfair system, but he was willing to put his name in for the food to keep his brother from starving.  He would do anything for Adam.  Even if it meant having a higher chance of being in the games.

               This year would be Adam’s first chance to be in the games.  Dean had made sure his brother’s name was only in the reaping once, that way there would be no way he would be called, at least he believed.

               At two o’clock precisely, the reaping began. A video was played, telling all of the citizens of District 12 the history of Panem and the games, most of which Dean tuned out.

               Once the video was over, a very flamboyantly dress women went up to the bowls with the names in it and introduced herself as Rowena.

               “Ladies first!” she said, walking over to the bowl. She moved her hand around in the bowl, as if she was looking for the right one.  At last, she pulled out a slip of paper and read, “Charlie Bradbury!”

               Dean knew Charlie, she went to his school and worked in the bakery.  That was about all he knew about her.  It was too bad.  Dean felt a sense of guilt for being glad it wasn’t someone he knew better.

               “And now, the boys,” Rowena said, after Charlie had taken her place on the stage.  Once again, Rowena placed her hand in the bowl.

               Dean held his breath, praying for the best.

               Rowena finally chose a slip and pulled it out of the bowl.  Slowly, she unfolded it and read, “Adam Winchester!”

               It wasn’t possible.  Dean hardly dared to believe his eyes as he watched his only brother walk up to the stage.  Suddenly, Dean snapped himself back into reality.

               “No!” he yelled.  “Adam!” he started to push his way out of the crowd.  Guards clothed in white, called Peacekeepers, grabbed him, in an attempt to hold him back.  “I volunteer! I volunteer!” Dean screamed.  “I volunteer as tribute.”

               “Well, then it looks like we have a volunteer,” Rowena said, somewhat shocked.

               “No, Dean! No! You can’t go!” Adam shouts, running towards Dean and grabbing him in a tight hug.  “You can’t go.”

               “Let go, Adam,” Dean says, a bit harsher than he meant.  Adam reluctantly let go, tears falling from his eyes.

               Dean made his way up to the stage, where Charlie stared at him, wide eyed.  Perhaps it was because no one ever volunteered in District 12.

               “What’s your name?” Rowena asked him.

               “Dean Winchester.”

               “Aw, so that must have been your brother?”

               Dean nodded.

               “Well, I guess that’s that, then.  District 12, welcome your tributes.”

               This comment was met with silence.  This was wrong, all wrong.  This should not be happening.  None of this should be happening.

               The next few weeks were all a blur to Dean. Training, flaming clothing, meeting the other tributes.  None of it mattered to Dean.  He was a dead man walking anyways.

               Apparently he and Charlie had made a good impression on the judges and got a few sponsors, which he assumed was a good thing.  He also discovered he had a real talent with a knife.

               Sooner than he would have liked, it was time for the games to begin.  Dean hugged Charlie, who had had become quite close to after the past few weeks, then he took his place on the platform that was to raise him into the battle ground. They were not allowed to move from their platform for 60 seconds before the games began.  Dramatic effect or whatever.

               Once the platform began to rise Dean started to panic.  This was his last moment before becoming a puppet of the Capital, forced to kill for sport.  Dean was no killer.  He didn’t think he could do this.

               Once the platform rose out of the ground, he looked around him.  The arena this year was some kind of forest, with the cornucopia, which contained all the weapons, in the middle of a clearing.  All the tributes stood on their platform, which surrounded the cornucopia in a circle.

               Dean looked around at all the tributes.  He didn’t think he could kill any of these people, even if they weren’t exactly the nicest.

               Suddenly, the countdown stopped.  The tributes made a mad dash for the weapons.  Tyrone, a nasty guy from District 7, ran straight for the U-Haul truck that was parked next to the cornucopia, jumped in it and drove away, screaming profanities.  The career pack, Paris, Kara, Kaia, Colleen, and Ashley quickly took over the cornucopia.  Ashley, a tribute from District 2, quickly picked a fight with Hermione.  The battle was short lived, however, Ashley easily killing Hermione and making the first kill of the game.

               Dean, not wanting to get in the way of the careers, grabbed a knife and a backpack that was near the outside edges of the cornucopia.  He sprinted off into the forest, running into a tribute from District 8.  He recognized him as Castiel.  The two gazed at each other before sprinting off in opposite directions.

                _Not bad,_ Dean thought.  He couldn’t help himself.

               Dean kept running, for as long as he could. By the time he stopped it was nightfall. He decided to climb a tree, praying he was out of sight of anyone nearby. Dean took a few moments to catch his breath, trying to be as silent as possible.  Once he felt he could breathe normally, he decided to examine what he got at the cornucopia.

               The knife he picked up was very odd, it didn’t even appear to be sharp.  Dean thought it was made out of some sort of jawbone, seeing as it still had several teeth attached to it.  The handle was covered in black cloth.  He ran his finger on the edge of the blade to discover it was, in fact very sharp.  He shook his hand and inspected the bleeding. _If this is my first injury in the Hunger Games, I guess I must be doing pretty good,_ he thought.

               Dean then went to open his backpack, discovering it contained rope, dry meats and fruits, a water container, a light jacket, and a hairbrush.  Taking the rope, he tied himself into the tree so he wouldn’t fall out if he rolled, and hoped he could get a night’s sleep before he had to do anything too physically straining.  What he forgot about, however, was the cannons.

               A cannon went off every time a tribute died. On the first day, however, the cannons didn’t go off until the night time, because there was usually a complete bloodbath on the first day.  This year, however, only two cannons went off.

               Another tradition of the games was projecting the faces of those who had fallen in the sky, to show they were gone but not forgotten. The face of Hermione, the girl the career Ashley had killed, and Ruby Deamon shinned in the sky.  Dean felt a sense of relief that Charlie wasn’t dead. If he didn’t win the games, he wanted her to.

               At last, Dean thought he could catch some sleep. He tried to get comfortable in the tree, which he soon discovered was impossible.  He fell into an uneasy sleep, his knife in his hand.


	59. Hunger Games Pt 2 (Hunger Games AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Luci

Late at night, Dean was woken up to the sound of two voices.

               “I’m just so scared, Matt,” said a girl.

               “It’s alright, Luna, we’ve got each other,” said “Matt.”

               Dean looked through the branches where he saw the two tributes sitting together by a fire.   _Idiots,_ Dean thought.   _Anyone will be able to see that fire for miles._ They were practically holding up signs that said “Hey! Come and kill us!”

               “I’ll be right back, I’m going to get more firewood,” Matt said.  He got up and moved in Dean’s direction, but luckily Dean wasn’t spotted.

               Dean hardly dared to breathe, afraid of being heard. He thought he could probably take Matt and Luna if necessary, but he was still uncomfortable with the idea of killing people.

               Just as Dean suspected, Luna was confronted by two other tributes while Matt was gone.  Dean recognized them as Steve and Kirk.  Dean had seen Steve training and knew he wasn’t much to be feared, but Kirk was a different story.  The judges had given him one of the highest scores.  Kirk was not someone Dean would want to fight.

               “Why, hello there,” Dean heard Kirk’s voice say.

Luna screamed and jumped to her feet, trying to run. She didn’t get very far.  Steve easily caught her and dragged her back towards the fire.

Dean heard a gasp from below.  Matt was hiding behind his tree, too afraid to move to help Luna.

Dean saw Kirk pull a large knife out of his belt.

“Look at this, Cherry Pie,” Kirk said with a smirk. “It’s our first kill.”

Kirk took his knife and plunged it deep into Luna’s chest. She cried out for help, but Matt was still frozen in fear, knowing if he ran over he too would be killed.  Kirk pulled the knife out of Luna’s chest and dropped her to the ground.

“Come on Steve, she’s as good as dead,” Kirk said, cleaning his knife on the hem of Luna’s shirt then putting it back onto his belt. Steve and Kirk walked away, laughing. As soon as they were far enough away, Matt ran over to Luna.

“Oh, oh my God Luna no,” Matt said, keeping his voice quiet. Tears streamed down his face. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t know what to do I should have been there.  I am so sorry.”

The sound of a cannon sounded through the stadium.

“Luna,” Matt whispered.  “I’ll win.  I’ll win this for you.”

               Matt laid Luna down in the grass and rose from the ground.  He put the fire out then walked into the woods, towards an uncertain fate.

               Thanks to the violent murder that went on a few trees away from him, Dean didn’t get that much sleep that night.  And when he did wake up from what little sleep he got, he realized he was very thirsty.  Dean rummaged through his backpack for a minute and pulled out the canteen.  He unscrewed the lid to discover it was empty.

                _Stupid gamemakers,_ he thought.  Moving quickly and quietly, Dean untied himself from his tree branch and gathered his stuff together, planning to go out and find any source of water.  He remembered there was a lake near the cornucopia.  Other than that, Dean didn’t know where to look for fresh water.  He decided to start there.

               Dean jumped down from the tree and started to make his way back to the cornucopia.  He knew of the general direction it was in, but he wasn’t sure of how long it would take him to find it, even if he found it at all.

               After what Dean assumed to be several hours of undisturbed walking, he heard voices off in the distance, not even thirty feet from him.

               “Gacé, you’re doing it wrong!”

               “No I’m not, this is how you make a fire!”

               “Well then why isn’t it lit yet?”

               “If you would stop yelling at me and let me work for a moment- wait did you hear something?”

               Dean halted in his tracks, looking down.  He had made the classic movie mistake of breaking a branch by stepping on it and alerting the enemy of his presence.   _Way to go,_ Dean thought.

               “Gacé, I didn’t hear anything,” came another voice. How many of them were there?

               The first voice spoke up again.  “Guys, go look around.  Spread out.  I want whoever it is that’s out there dead.”

               Dean heard footsteps as the tributes dispersed, looking around in the forest.  Dean was frozen in place, afraid to move and make more noise.  Dean saw Matt, the tribute that held Luna as she died, approaching him.

               Once Matt spotted Dean he called out, “Guys, he’s here!”

               Dean, panicking once again, turned and ran.

               “You won’t get far!” Matt called, running after him.

               Dean turned and glanced behind him.  There was now seven tributes chasing him, five girls, Matt, and another guy.  Soon enough, the tributes caught up to him.  Dean knew he couldn’t outrun them or fight all seven of them, so he instead tried to get out of their reach.  Dean climbed the nearest tree, praying no one would follow him up.

               The six tributes stood around at the bottom of the tree, looking up at Dean.

               The boy who wasn’t Matt (Dean assumed it was Gacé) had a bow tried to shoot at Dean.  He let a few arrows fly before realizing there was no way he could shoot Dean through all the branches.  “You’ll have to come down eventually!” he yelled.

               “And when you do, we’ll be waiting!” said Ashley, the girl who killed Hermione.

               The tributes made their new camp around the base of his tree.  Paris, one of the girls, and Gacé, resumed their argument of how to light a fire. Matt had fallen asleep.  The other three girls, Kaia, Ashley, and Kara, sat around sharpening weapons and preparing food over a fire that neither Gacé nor Paris had lit.

               Dean didn’t know what to do.  He had his knife ready in his hand, in case any of the tributes below realized they could climb the tree, too.  Dean wasn’t sure why they hadn’t.  Plot or something.

               As Dean sat and waited, he heard something, something that didn’t come from any of the tributes below.

               “Yow!” came a voice.  “Yow!”

               “Who’s there?” Dean whispered, careful not to be heard by the people below.  Dean turned around to look for the owner of the voice.  Dean spotted him in the tree next to him.

               He was young, like twelve.  Dean recognized him from training as Benny.  He was frantically pointing off into the forest, signaling something was wrong.

               Dean looked in the direction he was pointing. Trees were being uprooted in a death path towards them.

Dean looked back to Benny.  “What is it?”

               “U-Haul,” was his only response.

               Suddenly, the U-Haul burst into the clearing.  The song “Move Bitch,” by Ludacris was blaring from the speakers.  Tyrone, the driver, had really beefed up the U-Haul since they had last seen him.  He had added hydraulics to the truck and painted red and purple flames along the sides.  On the back of the U-Haul, a Nike “Just Do It” logo was painted crudely in black. He had moved the engine to the hood of the truck.

               Tyrone didn’t even slow down when he saw the tributes sitting in the clearing.  He was too busy singing along to Ludacris.

               The tributes scrambled to get out of the way of the U-Haul.  Paris gabbed Gacé’s bow and attempted to shoot the tire of the truck, trying to stop him.  She missed, which further fueled Tyrone’s anger.

               He slammed on the brakes, turning to look at Paris.  “You messin’ with my girl?”

               “Excuse me?” Paris asked.

               “That’s it,” Tyrone said, revving up the engine. He stepped on the brake, aiming his truck for Paris.  Her allies, Dean, and Benny all scattered, running into the forest and hopefully out of Tyrone’s way.  Paris was left to face Tyrone with nothing but a spiked baseball bat and some brass knuckles, neither of which were any good against the U-Haul.  Paris jumped out of the truck’s way, rolling to the ground. Tyrone wasn’t able to steer the truck very well because of the sheer size of it.  He turned the truck around in the clearing, facing Paris again.

               “Is that all you’ve got!” Paris yelled, swinging the bat around her, taunting Tyrone.

               Tyrone scowled, switching the U-Haul into a higher gear and wiping the sweat from his brow.  That was when Paris realized she was in trouble.

               Again, Tyrone stepped on the gas, headed towards Paris, going faster than she thought possible.  For a fatal moment, Paris stood, frozen in fear.  At the last moment, she tried to jump out of the way. Tyrone saw her move at directed the truck towards her, hitting her with a sickening thud.

               “Yeah, that’s what you get!” Tyrone hollered, pumping his fist in the air.  “Anyone else want a piece of Tyrone?”  When no one moved out of the forest to confront him, he said.  “That’s what I thought.  Tyrone for the win!”

               In the woods, Kaia and Ashley stood together, watching the scene unfold before them.

               “I must avenge her death,” Kaia whispered, gripping the broken beer bottle she carried as a weapon in her hand.

               “You can’t, it’s too dangerous,” said Ashley, fearing for Kaia.

               “You don’t understand, Paris saved my life once. Once.”

               “Kaia, I don’t think-“

               “I have to do what’s right, Ashley.”

               Tyrone, completely oblivious to the conversation going on in the woods, was still celebrating his victory, when suddenly Kaia burst out of the wood, screaming a rage filled scream.  She jumped onto the hood of the truck, taking Tyrone by surprise.

               “What the hell?” Tyrone said.  He stepped on the gas, forcing the U-Haul to go forwards. He swerved from side to side. Kaia flew off the hood of the truck but was able to grab the edge of the window, which was luckily open, and gained her footing on the step leading into the passenger’s side of the truck. Tyrone saw this, and sped up, driving in circles around the clearing, trying anything to get Kaia to let go.

Kaia, however, had other plans.  She attempted to climb in through the window and into the passenger’s seat, gripping the side mirror to try and get leverage.  The mirror and metal rod attaching the mirror to the truck broke off in her hand.  Kaia, fueled by rage, was able to break the mirror from the metal, leaving only a metal rod in her hand.  She climbed in through the window, ready to face Tyrone.

Tyrone saw his attacker climb in the seat.  He reached for his gun, which was set on the windshield. Kaia saw him move for the gun and grabbed his wrist, attempting to wrestle the gun from his hand.  Tyrone wasn’t able to hold on for long, the U-Haul was hard to control.  Kaia won the gun and threw it out the window.  She then took the metal rod and smashed it repeatedly into Tyrone’s hands, trying to get him to let go of the steering wheel.  A few broken fingers later, Tyrone released the wheel, slamming his foot on the break. Kaia grabbed the wheel, forcing the U-Haul to make a sharp turn to the left.  The combination of these two things forced the U-Haul to tip, falling onto the driver’s side.

The air bags went off, covering Kaia’s view of her opponent. She heard frantic screaming from outside.

“Kaia, are you alright?”

“Where are you?”

“Oh my God, I think she’s dead.”

Kaia, however was perfectly fine inside the U-Haul. She had been smart enough to put on her seatbelt.  Tyrone, on the other hand, wasn’t as lucky.  He had believed he was too hardcore for seatbelts.  It was this way of thinking, along with a little help from Kaia, that caused his demise.

Kaia climbed out of the passenger side window, which was now facing the sky.  Her friends saw her, sighing in relief and calling out to her.  A cannon sounded in the distance, signaling Tyrone’s death.

Kaia jumped down from the U-Haul, walking back towards her friends.  The U-Haul burst into flames behind her as she walked away, not bothering to look back at her victory.

She made her way over to her friends, who were congratulating her on her kill, but Kaia had other things on her mind.

“Where’s Paris?” she asked.

“Over there,” said Gacé.  “But she’s not doing well.”

The group made their way over to their friend and leader. Kara had dragged her out of the clearing and into the woods when Kaia’s attack had begun.  She was badly wounded, both her legs were broken.  On her right leg, her knee cap had broken out of her skin and was visible.  She had lost a lot of blood and wasn’t going to last much longer.

“Paris!” Kaia said, kneeling down next to her.

“All of you, I want you to listen…” Paris croaked out. “I want at least one of you to win this thing…for me…..and when you do…I want you burn something…like…the U-Haul…and dance around it or something…I’ll take care of Tyrone…when I find him in hell, I’m going to take my revenge on him…and I am going fuck…his…shit…up…believe you me…”

“We believe you,” said Kaia, tears in her eyes. “Give ‘im hell.”

“And I want you guys to…take care of my bae, Soske…and also…I want you to donate my knife collection to a sick children’s thing or some shit….cancer or something…I don’t know…and I want you to donate my wardrobe to…ASPCA…or the Humane Society…one of those…cuz their commercials are sad…” Paris coughed and wheezed, blood trickling down her chin. She took a few painful sounding breaths. “…I hope you all do good and stuff with your futures…and if any of you die…look me up in hell…we can go for lunch or something…you guys…were the best friends I’ve ever had…”

Paris took a few last breaths, then her friends all watched as the light left her eyes, the final smile left on her face and her eyes staring lifelessly into the sky.


	60. Hunger Games Pt 3 (Hunger Games AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Luci

Dean and Benny had snuck away from the tributes while Paris was giving her death speech.  They got as far away from the other tributes as they could before stopping to catch their breath and introduce themselves.

“Good to meet you, Benny,” Dean said, still breathing heavily.  “Can I ask why you saved me?”

“I thought you would make a good ally,” said Benny. “Besides, I know the chances of me actually winning this thing are slim, so I want someone I actually like to win.”

“Why do you think that?”

Benny looked down at his feet, avoiding Dean’s eyes. “Well, I mean, I am the youngest one in the games this year, besides Kaia, and she’s hardcore.  And it’s very rare that anyone _my_ age wins the games.”

“Well, you’ll just have to make the odds better for yourself. What do you have for weapons?”

“Not much, really.  Just this,” Benny said, drawing attention to the harpoon he had in his hand.

“Hey, that’s great!”

“You really think?”

“Of course!  Benny, listen.  You are not going to die, you hear me?  I’ll be here to protect you.  Besides, I owe you one, after all.”

Benny finally met Dean’s eyes.  He smiled.  “Thank you.”

“No problem.  Let’s keep moving.”

The next day, Dean and Benny hiked through the woods, looking for a place to crash for the night.  They soon found a good spot where they thought they would be out of view from anyone who might walk past.  They set up a small fire to cook the squirrel Benny had harpooned while they were walking through the woods.  Benny and Dean sat together, quietly eating roasted squirrel, when they heard voices from within the trees.

“Luci I’m telling you, this is not the way to the cornucopia.”

“Ezekiel, I hate to tell you this I really do, but I don’t care.  You’re the one who started following _me_ through the woods.”

“I should have killed you when I got the chance,” “Ezekiel” growled.

I high pitched laugh sounded.  “I’d love to see you try.”

“That’s it, let’s- wait.”

“ _What_ now?”

“Is that a harpoon?”

Dean looked at Benny and mouthed _climb the tree now._

Benny nodded, then silently scampered up the nearest tree.

Luci and Ezekiel stumbled through the underbrush, discovering the coals of the fire Dean and Benny had been sitting at only moments ago. Ezekiel, now holding Benny’s harpoon, knelt down and placed his hand over the coals, feeling the heat rising from them.

“It’s still hot,” he said.  “They’re still here.”

Dean stood, back to the tree Benny was hiding in, gripping his knife.  He waiting for the perfect moment to attack, knowing he had promised to save Benny. He glanced out from behind the tree, noticing both Luci and Ezekiel’s backs were to him.  Now was the time.

Dean jumped out from behind the tree, attempting to stab Luci in the back.  At the last moment possible, she sensed the attack and jumped out of the way.  She grabbed her knives and turned to face Dean, ready to fight.

“Well, if it isn’t the famous Dean Winchester,” Luci said, giggling.  “I _never_ imagined that _I_ would be the lucky one to kill you.”

“Who said you got to kill him?” Ezekiel asked, raising the harpoon.

“ _Stay out of this,”_ she spat.  “He’s mine.”

“Hey, hey,” Dean cut in.  “There’s enough of me to go around.  Let’s dance, shall we?”

Dean launched himself at Luci, attempting to put his blade through her chest.  She jumped out of the way, dropping one of her knives in the process, and hit Dean in the head with her elbow.  Dean spun around, cutting Luci in the leg.  She thrust her knife at Dean’s head, missing and stabbing him in the shoulder instead.  Dean backed away, her knife still in his shoulder.

“Nice, Luci,” said Ezekiel.

“ _Shut. Up.”_

The knife was still deep in Dean’s shoulder when Luci started her attack again.  She leapt at Dean, knocking him to the ground.

“Wanna give up yet?” she asked, smirking at him.

“Never,” Dean answered, grimacing from the pain.  He tried to get up, but Luci had him pinned to the ground.

“Really, huh?” Luci said, looking at the knife still in Dean’s shoulder.  “What about now?”  She grabbed the knife and twisted violently.

Dean screamed out in pain.  He struggled to get up, but was unable to.

Luci was laughing at him again.  “Aw, poor little boy, unable to do anything.”  She twisted the knife again, laughing louder.  She then pulled the knife out of his shoulder and traced his face with it, leaving a trail of his own blood across his skin. “Not even your fool of a team mate can help you now.  What’s her name?  Charlie? Last I heard, she was getting her butt kicked near that stupid U-Haul that blew up.”

“What do you mean, getting her-“

Dean stopped talking.  Luci had suddenly turned very pale.  She lifted her hand from the knife and moved it to her back.  When she brought her hand back around to her front, it was covered in blood.  Her blood. Luci fell from sideways, dead.  A cannon went off in the distance.

Dean sat up, noticing Benny for the first time.  He was panting, holding the knife Luci had dropped, which was now covered in blood.

“Benny?” Dean asked, but it was too late.

Upon seeing his ally killed, Ezekiel immediately threw the harpoon at his attacker.  Benny stood still and looked down at the harpoon that was now deep in his chest.

“Benny!” Dean yelled, forgetting his own injury and jumping forwards to catch Benny as he collapsed to the ground.  Ezekiel tried running off into the woods but Dean grabbed Luci’s knife from the ground and threw it at him out of fury, not really aiming. He hit Ezekiel in the knee, causing him to collapse to the ground.

Dean turned his attention back to Benny, who was fading fast.

“Dean,” Benny whispered weakly.  “I’m sorry.”

“No, Benny, no don’t apologize.  It’s going to be ok, everything is going to be ok.”

“Dean?  Will you win? For me?”

“Y- Yes.  Of course.”

“Thank you.”

A cannon sounded through the forest.

Dean left Benny and walked over to Ezekiel, who was trying to crawl away from Dean, the knife still in his leg.

“Do you know what you’ve done?” Dean asked looking down at him.

“Yes.  I killed your stupid little friend.”  He let out a laugh, showing his forked tongue in the process.

Dean ignored him.  “You’ve managed to make me very angry.  I hope you’re glad.”  Dean lifted his blade to kill Ezekiel, bringing it down into the boy’s chest. After a minute, another cannon sounded.

Dean stared down at Ezekiel’s lifeless body, realizing what he had done.  It was Dean’s first kill in the games.  He shuddered, then wiped the blood from his knife on the hem of Ezekiel’s shirt.  As he walked away from the scene, silent tears fell down from his eyes.  
  


               It was three days before Dean saw any other tributes.  It had also been three days since anyone had died.  Dean knew something huge was about to happen.

               Dean’s original plan had been to lay low and avoid any and all people at any cost.  But this plan was put to a sudden halt when an announcement from the Gamemakers erupted around the arena.

               “Attention tributes,” came the voice of Saurmon, the Head Gamemaker.  “There has been a change to the rules of this year’s games.  Instead of only one victor, we have decided to allow two tributes to survive the game, as long as they are from the same district. Alright, continue your fighting.”

               A silence fell over the woods as Dean processed what this meant.

               Dean knew Charlie wasn’t dead, her picture hadn’t been shown.  She might want to team up, seeing as they had a better chance of surviving with two people than alone.  Dean decided he had to find Charlie.

               The only issue was, Dean had no idea where she might be.  Last he had heard, she had teamed up with a group that was led by Sam, the male tribute from district 11, and his girlfriend, Jess.  The two of them had been often referred to as the “star-crossed lovers from district 11” by the people in the Capitol.  Dean figured this must be why the rules changed.  Everyone in the Capitol had loved them.  Dean thought this would be a good place to start to look for Charlie.  He knew that the group that was formerly led by Paris had taken control of the cornucopia, but he had no idea where Charlie and Sam might be.

               Suddenly, something Luci said came back to him.   _“Not even your fool of a team mate can help you now.  What’s her name?  Charlie? Last I heard, she was getting her butt kicked near that stupid U-Haul that blew up.”_

“The U-Haul, of course,” Dean whispered.  He gathered his supplies from his camp and started to head back towards where he had first met Benny, hope once again fluttering in his chest.

 

It took Dean roughly five hours to reach the U-Haul.  When he finally arrived, he noticed Charlie immediately. He was shocked, however, at how different she looked.

               Charlie had cut her hair short, it looked like she cut it herself by how choppy it was.  She was also a lot tanner, and she seemed to be stronger, physically and mentally. Dean was also shocked at how many team mates she had.  He knew about Sam and Jess, but Dean did not expect to see Harry, Kevin, Castiel, and Ezri. Six of the seven tributes sat around a fire that was lit next to the overturned, slightly crispy, U-Haul.  The final member of the group, Charlie, stood by herself, seemingly keeping watch.

               Dean knew that simply walking into the clearing was a bad idea.  Sam was the “shoot first, ask questions later” kind of guy.  Dean knew his best chance was to approach Charlie while she was alone.

               Charlie stood beneath the tree Dean had climbed up when running from Paris’s gang.  She was armed with a knife that was currently sheathed at her hip.  Dean decided a direct approach was best. He didn’t want to startle her and be killed because of his stupidity.

               “Charlie,” Dean whispered, still not quite Charlie’s sight.

               “What?  Who’s there?” Charlie asked, grabbing her knife.

               Dean stepped out from behind a tree, about 20 feet from Charlie.  “Hi.”

               “Dean,” Charlie gasped.  She sheathed her knife then ran towards him, enveloping him in a huge hug.  “I never thought I’d see you again.”

               “Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay,” said Dean, returning the hug.  “How’ve you been?”

               “Alright I guess,” she said stepping away.  “I mean, I haven’t killed anyone, so I guess that’s good.”

               Dean didn’t meet her eyes.  “Yeah, I guess that is good.”

               “Yeah. The most action this knife has seen is gutting a squirrel, and I let Sam do that for me.”

               “Have you heard any news on the other tributes?”

               “Do you mean the Rhythm Fusions?”

               “Who?”

               “The other tributes.  Gacé, Matt, Kara, Kaia, Ashley, Steve, and Kirk.  They’ve taken over the cornucopia.”

               “Yeah, I know that.  Did you say Matt?  Doesn’t he know that Steve and Kirk killed Luna?”

               Charlie shrugged.  “I guess not.  You were the only tribute not part of either group.  But now that you’re here, everyone is accounted for.  Soon, the battle will begin.”

               “Wait, what battle?”

               “The one Sam won’t stop talking about.  He believes that, now that we’re all in two teams, there will be some massive battle between us and the Rhythm Fusions.”

               “That’s insane!  It’ll be all out war!”

               “Exactly.  You know, I should probably introduce you to Sam and the rest of them.  Come on, then.”

               Charlie led Dean into the clearing and to the camp site.

Sam immediately stood up when he saw Dean, placing a hand on his knife.  “Who’s this?”

“Chill out, Sam,” said Charlie.  “He’s with me.”

Dean held out his hand.  “Dean Winchester.”

Sam took his hand and shook it.  “Interesting last name.”

“Why?  What’s yours?” Dean said, rather defensively.

“Winchester.”

Dean squinted at Sam.  “Oh.”

“Now that you two are done,” Charlie cut in, “maybe you should tell Dean about the agreement.”

While Charlie had told Dean most of the truth, she had left out a few important details.  The “battle” she had talked about was a set event.  The Rhythm Fusions agreed that, once Dean made an appearance, the battle would begin two days after that.  Sam was to send over two scouts to alert the other group of his presence.

“This is insane!  I never agreed to this!” Dean protested once Sam finished explaining everything to him.

“It doesn’t matter.  The battle is happening, and you will be there.”

“What makes you say that?”

“If you don’t agree to come, we’ll just kill you now.”

Dean stepped backwards, away from Sam.  “Listen, I just think there are better ways to go about this.”

“Like what?  Keep playing the games like we’re meant to?  Keep being pawns for the Capital?  No thanks, Dean.  I want to get out the games as soon as possible, and I don’t care if I live or not. That’s why we’re Team Free Will. We want our freedom from the Capital.”

“And everyone else agrees?”

Charlie spoke up.  “We all agree with Sam.  It’s the best way.”

“So we fight until there’s one person standing?”

“Could be two people,” Sam said.  “With the rule change.”

“I don’t have a choice then.”

“No, you don’t.  I’m sorry.”

“No, you’re not.  I’m going to stand with Charlie and fight.  But just know, the first person I’m coming after is you.”

Team Free Will made the hike to the cornucopia two days later. Sam and Jess, Charlie and Dean, Harry, Kevin, Cas, and Ezri.  None of them were talking, but all of them had their weapons ready.  It was time to end this.

When they arrived in the cornucopia, they saw the other eight tributes standing ready.  Gacé, Kaia, Ashley, Kara, Colleen, and Matt stood on top of the cornucopia. Kirk and Steve stood together inside it. Gacé held a bow and had a sword strapped to his hip.  Kaia still had the metal rod from the U-Haul and the broken glass bottle.  Ashley held a set of throwing knives.  Kara had a machete and a smaller knife.  Colleen had a bow and arrows and her long zebra tongue doubled as a whip.  Matt had numerous throwing stars and a knife.  Below, Kirk held the knife he used on Luna and a phaser.  Steve had a sword.

Team Free Will lined up in the grass, gripping their weapons and looking towards the Rhythm Fusions.

“Ready to finish this?” Ashley yelled.

“Are you?” Sam yelled back.

The Rhythm Fusions jumped off the cornucopia and ran towards them, weapons ready.  Team Free Will ran at them.  But, before the battle could even begin, a blinding light filled the arena, transporting the tributes into another world.


	61. The Red Mark (Soulmate AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Father

On Sam’s fourteenth birthday, he got his mark. The Winchester family was throwing a small party for a few of his school friends and family members. That same day, a family moved in next door with their daughter who was Sam’s age. They were introduced to each other, the girl, Ezri, was set to attend Sam’s high school in the coming year. But that night, after everyone had left, Sam found Dean in his room and told him that his mark had appeared.

               That was three months ago, but Dean still hasn’t gotten over it. That was the first time he actually saw someone have the mark in real life. He knew they were real, but it was so rare for someone to get it. Now that Ezri and Sam were together and their marks were both red, Dean was rethinking his original ideas of not believing in the whole soulmate thing.

               But none of that made him believe that _he_ would ever get the mark. He just didn’t consider himself soulmate material. He was already in his senior year of high school, about to turn eighteen, and he still never had any traces of a mark. He figured if he ever did get a mark, it would be black.

               Sam getting his mark wasn’t the only thing strange about that school year. After that, Dean noticed a lot of other people in his classes getting marks. Harry and Kevin, the only two cello players in the band, got together just this year after revealing that they both had red marks for years before figuring out it was for the two of them. Dean’s friends, Steve, who was the worst member of the color guard, and Jimmy K., the drum major, both got red marks for each other. Now, they were the poster gay couple for the school. All they ever did now was make out with each other against Steve’s locker, which was unfortunately next to Dean’s locker.

               “Guys, come on! Get a room!” Dean exclaimed as he tried to get to his locker. The couple stopped long enough to move over and greet Dean.

               “Hey Dean!” said Jimmy. “You ready for the football game tonight?”

               “Yeah, I guess,” Dean said. He wasn’t feeling up to the game. But he had to go. He was one out of only two tenors and also, this was Sammy’s first game he’d be playing at.  

               “Dean!” a voice yelled from behind. Dean turned and saw his friend, Charlie, who was on mallets in the band, running through the crowded hallway to him. “Dean, you gotta come to the band hall, there’s someone I want you to meet!”

               She dragged him to the band hall, which wasn’t far from where his locker was. The band hall was always crowded before classes started. It was mostly filled with the band geeks and their friends. When they got there, the usual groups were sitting around, chatting.

               The band was split into four groups: The Rhythm Fusions, The Heat Seekers, The Crazy 8’s, and Team Free Will.  The Rhythm Fusions consisted of Ashley, a senior flute, Gacé, a junior base five, Kara, a sophomore flute, Matt, a sophomore on mallets, Colleen, a freshman flute, Kaia, a freshman marimba, and Paris, a senior who was not actually in band. Paris usually hung out back there because her friends, her sister, Kaia, and her brother, Nathan, were all in band.

               Beyond them, sat the Crazy 8’s. Dean didn’t know where they got that name, but it was kind of stupid. He didn’t know a lot of the people in that group, but he knew that Nathan, a sophomore snare, led it and that caused a lot of trouble with the Rhythm Fusions.

               The Heat Seekers contained a lot of the gothic, emo kids in band. Most of them were bullies and super-seniors.

               Team Free Will was the group that Dean belonged to, along with Charlie, Sam, who played trumpet, Steve, Jimmy, Harry, Kevin, and Ezri, who was on flute.

                Other miscellaneous students flitted around between these four groups, talking and being overall obnoxious like how band kids are.

               “There’s a new student who just came in today,” Charlie explained as she dragged Dean to the back of the hall where Team Free Will hung out. Dean spotted an extra member who he had never seen before. He had dark hair and the bluest eyes Dean had ever seen. The boy looked a little out of place. Charlie stopped in front of this new person and said, “This is Castiel. He just moved here about a week ago. Castiel, this is Dean. He’s on tenors.”

               Dean shook hands with Castiel, unable to look away from those deep eyes.

               “It’s nice to meet you, Dean,” said Castiel.

               “Yeah, you too Cas,” Dean said. He didn’t know where that nickname came from, but Cas didn’t seem to mind it. In fact, Dean was sure he caught a small smile at the corner of the boy’s lips. “What do you play?”

               “Clarinet,” said Cas. “Tenor looks really hard.”

               “Naw, it’s not that bad. Snare is harder,” he said.

               “You’ve played snare?” he asked.

               “Yeah, I used to.”

               “He tried out for it this year,” said Charlie. “But, see that kid over there with the curly blonde hair? That’s Nathan. He’s a sophomore. He tried out for snare too and snatched the spot right out from under Dean.”

               “Okay, see, that was something he didn’t need to know,” said Dean, glaring at Charlie. She smirked. “It’s fine though, I don’t mind. I like tenors.”

               Just then, the warning bell rang, signaling that class was about to start. Dean said goodbye to everyone and left, the people still in the halls dispersing to their classes.

               Dean’s first class was algebra…which he hated. With a passion. Somehow, it was one of the few classes he was getting a good grade in though. The teacher began rambling on about algorithms or some shit and Dean zoned out. He thought about the boy he had just met. Castiel. He couldn’t seem to get those blue eyes out of his head. His friends all knew he was bi, but he hoped for Cas’s sake that he wasn’t blushing too bad while talking to him.

               Dean scratched at his forearm absently.

               The teacher handed out a worksheet to work on for the rest of the hour. Dean took his and glared at the equations that leered at him from the page.

               He scratched at his arm again and reached for his pencil, regretfully starting on the assignment. His arm started itching again, like a dull annoyance that ached to be looked at. Dean scoffed and pulled up his sleeve to check for a spider bite or something. What he found instead, though, made his face pale and his blood run cold.

               Staring back at him from his arm was a single, scar-like, mark. There was no mistaking what it was. Dean’s gut twisted and dropped to his feet. He felt panic bubbling up inside of him, threatening to burst.

               He raised his hand. “Can I go to the restroom?” he asked, trying to keep his voice steady. The teacher nodded and he went to grab the pass. When he got to the bathroom, he made sure it was empty. It was. He stared at himself in the mirror above the sink. _This can’t be happening…this_ can’t _be happening…_ he thought. He looked at his wrist again. It was still there. He tried washing it off under water, but it wouldn’t leave. He tried scrubbing it with paper towel. He scrubbed at it until his skin was red and raw. _This can’t be happening……_ His breathing started coming in ragged breaths and his eyes burned. He stared at the mark, waiting for it to turn black. There was no doubt in his mind it would turn black. Eventually. _Why wasn’t it turning black?_

               Castiel just met him. Of course it wouldn’t turn black right away…assuming it was Cas. It had to be. Who else could it be? He gulped down the lump in his throat and looked back at the mirror. He loathed the thought that his mark will turn black, but he was sure that that was his fate. _Why did I have to get a mark?_

The bathroom door opened and another student walked in. Dean hurriedly pulled his sleeve down to cover his arm. He splashed some water on his face and left, knowing he had just blown off the rest of his class.


	62. The Red Mark Pt 2 (Soulmate AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Father

Dean went through the rest of the day in a daze, still not wanting to believe what had happened. Castiel ended up in most of his classes somehow, which didn’t help Dean in his mission of trying to forget about it. Cas kept looking at him and Dean couldn’t help but look back. It was infuriating.  

               Dean had band seventh hour. He got there and went straight to the back. Hopefully, Cas didn’t have this class with him.

               “Dean! I got- Whoa. What happened to you?” Charlie asked. Sam approached after her. They were both in this class.  

               “What?”

               “Dean, you look terrible,” said Sam. “What happened?”

               “Yeah, thanks Sam,” said Dean sarcastically. “Nothing happened.”

               “Yeah right. Seriously, what happened?” asked Charlie, trying to snatch her mallet from Dean’s hand. He held it up out of her reach.

               “Nothing happened!” he insisted. Him and Charlie had a brief battle over the mallet. She grabbed his wrist and tried to pry it out of his hand. He winced when she manhandled the still painful skin there. Charlie, being ever observant, noticed and let go.

               “What’s wrong with your arm?” she asked.

               “Nothing!”

               She lunged at him. He stumbled backwards and tripped on a marimba, falling to the floor and bringing Charlie down with him. She landed on top of him, using the opportunity to pin his other arm down and force his sleeve up.

               Her and Sam both went silent, their eyes wide and their mouths hanging open. The scar showed as clear as day on Dean’s arm.

               “Okay, you saw! Happy now?” he said, breaking the silence and taking his arm back. He stood up and turned his back to them. He felt his face burning red and wished more than anything that he could just crawl into a hole and never come out. But he knew they’d start asking about it any second now.

               “When did you get that?” asked Sam.

               “Who was it?” asked Charlie.

               Dean sighed. He really didn’t want to answer any questions about this.

               “This morning…” he said quietly.

               Sam gasped. “Was it Castiel?” he asked.

               Dean turned back to them. “Look, I don’t want to talk about it, okay? I don’t want anyone else to know about this. I just want to wait for it to turn black and get it over with.”

               “What? Why do you think it’ll turn black?” asked Sam. He knitted his eyebrows.

               “That’s not very likely to happen, Dean. The only time I’ve ever heard of someone’s mark turning black was with that one kid, Zach,” said Charlie.

               “Who?” asked Dean.

               “Ya know that one kid in the Crazy 8s, who isn’t in band and always hangs around Nathan?” she asked.

               “The really attractive one?”

               “Yeah! Him! I heard he got his mark when he first met Nathan but it turned black right away. Turns out, Nathan never even got a mark.”

               “Oh! I know Zach!” said Sam. “I met him the other day. He’s really nice! He has _two_ black marks!”

               “That doesn’t really help,” said Dean, feeling even more discouraged. Charlie was about to answer when the director, Stan Griffin came in and started class.

               Mr. Griffin walked out of the office at the corner of the room, a stack of unorganized music in his hands.  The assistant director, Mr. Kety, followed him out of the office.

               “Sam,” Kety said, looking back into the percussion section.  “You’re not supposed to be back there.”

               “I know, I know.”

               “What class are you supposed to be in?”

               “Algebra.”

               “Come on, I’ll write you a pass.”

               Sam gave Dean a sympathetic look before following Mr. Kety into the office.

               “Good afternoon, everyone!” Mr. Griffin called, dumping the sheet music into the arms of some unlucky flute player.  “Pass that out, thank you Kara.”

               Kara put down her flute and made her way around the room, passing out the sheet music.

               Mr. Griffin spoke to the class as she did this. “The piece coming around right now was picked for your class to play during the fall concert.  Now, I know, you’re all busy with marching band and you have _no time_ to practice, but this is not a hard piece and we’ll get through it together.”

               “Not a hard piece!” can a protest from the saxophone section.  “It’s in D minor!”

               “And seven-eight!”

               “That’s not hard!” Mr. Griffin protested.

               Somebody in the hall knocked on the door.  Mr. Griffin walked over to the door and opened it, revealing Castiel, who stood in the doorway with a clarinet case in one hand and a yellow hall pass in the other.

               Dean groaned.  Why did he have to be in _this_ class?

               “S-sorry I’m late,” Cas stammered, handing the pass to Mr. Griffin.  “I got a bit lost.”

               “That’s alright, take a seat.”

               Cas walked through the saxophone’s and took his place in the clarinet section.

               “Class, this is Castiel,” Mr. Griffin said.  “He just transferred here from… um…”

               “New Heaven- Haven.  Sorry.”

               “Right, New Haven.  Well, welcome to class.  Kara, where’d you put the extra sheet music?”

               “I gave it back to you,” she said.

               “Right,” he said, looking around.  “But where did I put it?”

               “How am I supposed to know?”

               “Huh.  Castiel I guess you’ll just have to look off of Abby’s music for now.  But first, B flat scale in whole notes.”

               He counted them down and they began to play. Dean tapped out a rhythm on the snare drum, staring at the back of Cas’s head the entire time.   _Of course_ he would be in this class, why shouldn’t he be?  Dean felt like the universe was trying to punish him.

               Mr. Griffin rudely pulled Dean out of his thoughts. “Dean, you’re speeding up.”

               “Sorry, I was just thinking.”

               “I know, I can smell the smoke.  Everyone, pull out…”

               Dean stopped listening.  Usually, he liked band class.  He liked to play, especially snare, but today he was too focused on other things.

               After an agonizingly slow hour, the bell rang, signaling the end of the day.

               “Finally,” Dean muttered.  He picked up his music folder and practically sprinted out of the band room, hoping to avoid everything and everyone.  He walked down the hall to his band locker, which he had placed his backpack in.  He grabbed it and threw his folder into the locker.

               Dean walked absentmindedly down the hall, knowing he had to find Sam before he could leave the school.  The halls were nearly empty, seeing as most of the kids had gotten on the buses already.

               Suddenly, Dean slammed headfirst into someone and was sent tumbling to the ground.  “Hey! Watch where you’re- oh.”

               Dean stared up at Cas, who was looking down at him with a horrified expression on his face.  “Dean!  I’m so sorry I was just-“

               “No, no it’s alright.”  Dean hauled himself off the ground and looked at Cas.  It was the first time Dean had gotten to properly look at him.  He had strikingly pretty eyes that were a deep blue color, like the sea.  Dean thought he could go swimming in those eyes.

               Cas stared back, but he looked more confused than anything.  “I’m lost,” he said suddenly, his voice shaking slightly.

               “Where’re you supposed to be?”

               “The buses, but I think they already left.”

               “Do you want a ride home?” Dean asked.  He wasn’t sure where it came from.  Just the last hour he had been planning on running as far away as possible from Cas, but now he wanted to help him.   _Him and those damn blue eyes,_ Dean thought.

               “I mean, I don’t really have another way to get home.”

               “That’s the spirit.  Come on, I’ve got to find my brother then we can go.”

               They walked together, more or less.  Dean led the way and Cas followed, looking a lot like a lost puppy.  He led Cas to the commons, where Sam and Ezri sat together at a table with a few other freshmen.  Dean waved to his brother.  Sam saw him and said his goodbyes to his friends.  He kissed Ezri quickly before running across the commons to his brother.

               “Hey Dean,” he said, glancing at Cas, slightly confused.  “Who’s this?”

               “This is- well this is Cas.”

               Sam’s eyes widened.  “Oh.  So _you’re_ Cas.”

               Dean glared at him.  “We’re just driving him home.”

               “ _Riiight._ Nice to meet you, Cas.”

               Dean led Sam and Cas outside into the student parking lot and to his car.  Dean was very proud of his car.  When he had gotten his license, his dad gave him his old car, a ’67 Chevy Impala.  The car had been falling apart when Dean had first gotten it, but he had worked on it all summer.  The Impala was now Dean’s pride and joy.

               “Cas, this is Baby,” he said, smiling like a parent whose child just got accepted onto the honor role for the third year in a row.  “You can ride shotgun.  Sam, get in the back.”

               Sam rolled his eyes but did it anyways.  Cas hesitantly climbed into the car, pulling the door closed behind him.

               “Where do you live?” Dean asked.

               “Do you know where the Meijer’s is?”

               Dean nodded.

               “Behind there.”

               “I got you.”

               Dean pulled out of the parking lot, and headed towards the Meijer’s.  They rode in silence, Cas looking too nervous to speak.  Dean felt bad for him, praying it wasn’t him who made him uncomfortable. If he was, it might make the whole “soulmates” thing a bit trickier.

               “So,” Dean said, searching his brain for, well, anything.  Anything except Cas.  “You like music?”

               Cas knit his eyebrows together.  “There are people who don’t like music?”

               Dean mentally slapped himself.  “No, I mean like, band.”

               “Oh!  Yeah, I mean I like playing clarinet, if that’s what you’re asking.”

               Dean nodded, but failed to say anything.  He couldn’t think properly around Cas, it seemed.

               “So, you ready for the football game?” Dean asked.

               “Not really,” said Cas. “I don’t really like football games…”

               “Well, you can hang with me and my friends,” said Dean. “We’re pretty cool.”

               “Thank you,” said Cas. “It’s the house with the blue garage.”

               Dean pulled into the driveway of Cas’s house. His house was huge! But of course it was huge, this was the rich neighborhood with the lake.

               “See you at the game,” said Dean, as Cas got out of the car. As he was reaching to close the door of the car, the sleeve of his sweater rode up on his arm a little bit. Just enough to reveal the edge of a scar.

               No, not a scar. A mark. There was no mistaking it. Cas closed the door and made his way up his driveway. Dean gawked after him.

 

               The bleachers were full to the brim and people were still pouring in. There was Paris, sitting next to the band’s section. She hated football games, but came anyway because her siblings and friends were all in the band. She was soon joined by Zach, who sat by the brass where most of his friends were, waving to Nathan down in the percussion. Cas looked around the band section for Dean. He saw him down in the percussion section. But Cas wasn’t playing at this game, seeing as he just transferred to this school, so he went up the bleachers and found a seat near Paris.

               “Hey. Cas, right?” she said, pushing her black rimmed glasses up her nose.

               “Yeah.”

               “I’m Paris,” she said, holding out a hand. “Nice to meet you.”

               They shook hands, then looked as the band began to play the school fight song. The football team ran onto the field and the crowd cheered. The cheerleaders down on the track chanted the name of the school. The announcer announced the national anthem and everyone turned to the flag just off the field. The band began to play the Star Spangled Banner. When they finished, the game started and Cas immediately didn’t know what was happening. He watched the players run around on the field in pointless patterns, and watched the audience cheer when something apparently happened.

               Then half time came, and the band went out onto the field and got into formation.

               “Please welcome the marching band performing their show for this year called The Aquatic Guardians of the Deep. It’s all about the power of dolphins and the forces of the ocean. Let’s give them a big round of applause!”

               The band started playing. Cas’s eyes followed Dean the whole time. Before he knew it, the song ended and the audience started cheering. Cas didn’t even hear the music. He followed the band around the side of the bleachers and found Dean waiting for him with a few friends. Dean left his group and ran over to Cas.

               “Are you staying for the rest of the game?” asked Dean.

               “Probably not,” said Cas, shrugging. He was pretty tired.

               “Hey, that’s cool,” said Dean. Cas looked around at all the band students. they were all wearing black and gold polos. Out of sheer curiosity, Cas glanced down at Deans wrist. The scar was there, as clear as day. He looked back to Dean, and saw that he wasn’t oblivious to that glance. The smile faded from his face and he self-consciously grabbed his arm. He glanced away.

               Before Cas could rationalize what he was doing, he pulled up the sleeve of his sweater, revealing his own mark. They looked at each other with wide eyes.

               “I got this when I first met you,” said Cas.

               “Me too,” said Dean.

               They both stared at each for a moment.

               “Just kiss already!” someone shouted at them. Probably Sam. Taking his brother’s advice, Dean grabbed Cas’s face and pressed their lips together. A warm feeling spread them, filling them with a sense of completion. They kissed, their mouths moving together like they had been waiting for this moment their whole lives, and now, they finally had it. They were faintly aware of applause around them, but other than that, every sense was consumed by the other, and they wished they could stay like that forever.

               The lights shining down on the football field seemed to get brighter, enveloping everyone in light. The cheering got louder, then the light consumed them completely, carrying them into the next universe.


	63. Old McWinchester Had a Farm (Farmer AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Professor Ashlex

It was midday and the sun was beating down. Sweat was rolling down Steve’s face making the dirt and debris from the road stick to him. He had no idea where he was or why he was there. The last thing he remembered was waking up in the middle of the woods. He stumbled along the wooded path, running into low hanging tree branches and tripping on over grown roots. Everything was hazy, his eyes were blurry from hitting his head when he fell. It seemed hopeless; he didn’t know where he was going or who he would find. The longer he walked in the blistering sun, the heavier his limbs became. His vision was getting blurrier but in the distance he saw the outline of a house.

               Meanwhile, in the distance, a tall dark man was working in the field. Sweat was dripping down his perfectly chiseled abs. His strong, oiled thighs were pushing the bounds of his polyester pants. He walked through his wheat field admiring his crop.

               “Tomorrow is the day,” he said to himself with pride. As he looked around, he noticed something by the edge of the woods. It was a person stumbling like he was intoxicated. The man started to walk towards the wood to see if the stumbling man needed help.

               “Hello there!” There was no answer. “Do you need any help sir?” Again, there was only silence. “What in the world!?” As he got closer, he could see that the man was not intoxicated, but dehydrated and exhausted. Quickly, he hoisted the fallen man over his shoulder and ran for the house.

               A while later, Steve woke. His vision was slowly coming into focus. He started to make out an old dresser, the brass fixtures at the end of the bed, and a young girl sitting in the corner looking at him with relieved eyes.

               “Where am I?” Croaked Steve.

               “You’re at the Winchester Farm. My name is Ezri. Jimmy will be relieved you’re awake. He found you stumbling out of the woods a couple days ago. You were dangerously dehydrated.” Ezri walked over to the side table and poured the man a glass of water. “What’s your name?” She asked handing him the water.

               “Steve. My name is Steve.” He took the glass of water, nodding his thanks, and took a long gulp.

               “So, Steve,” Ezri went on. “What were you doing in the woods then?” She looked at him with big eyes in hopes of a tale of danger and adventure. Steve thought long and hard, but could not remember why he was out there. All he could think was that he was attacked, due to the pain he felt in various parts of his body.

               “I can’t remember why I was out there.” Steve said, closing his eyes tight, hoping to remember something. “All I remember is stumbling through the woods and seeing your house. And of course waking up.” Steve took another long drink hoping it would jog his memory.

               “Well, don’t worry yourself about that,” Ezri said, giving him a soft smile. “Why don’t you get yourself cleaned up and come down to meet everybody? There’s clean clothes for you in the dresser and your bathroom is right through that door. See you in a few.” Ezri gave him one more smile and closed the door behind her.

               Steve finished his water and slowly climbed out of bed. He pulled a Homestuck t-shirt and a pair of plaid pajama pants from the drawers and went to the bathroom. The bathroom was very rustic looking, with white and light blue decorations. He thought it was quite fitting. Steve turned the water on and waited for it to warm up. He looked through the small window above the toilet where he could see the whole farm. It was beautiful; the wheat was a lovely golden brown. To his left he saw a small garden filled with fruits and vegetables, and in the distance he saw a man in blue jeans and a red, plaid shirt riding up from the apple orchard. Steve turned away, feeling warm and fuzzy on the inside, and got into the shower.

               20 minutes later he finally made his way down stairs.

               “All I’m saying is there’s something weird with the whole thing!” a man said around the corner.

               “Well, what do you propose we do about it then, Sam?” said Ezri. Steve turned into the kitchen, going unnoticed. Ezri was talking to a tall man leaning against the counter. His hair was fabulous.

               “I think we need to get a second opinion. There’s something wrong with that cow and we don’t have the money to be getting a new one,” said the man with the nice hair.

               “I can take a look at her if you’d like,” Steve said hoping to dispel some awkwardness. “I know I don’t remember how I got here, but I am a vet- farm animals being my specialty actually.”

               “Oh that would be wonderful!” Ezri cried jumping up to her feet. She gave Steve a big squeeze and a kiss on the cheek. “Oh you don’t know what we’ve been through. She’s the only cow we have for milk and every doctor that’s come through is telling us the same thing and I know she’s not sick.”

               “I’ll go take a look at her right away.” Steve turned to go out the door but was stopped by Sam.

               “Not so fast there friend. First things first,” Sam stuck out a hand and Steve gave him his in return. “The name’s Winchester, Sam Winchester. And you’ve met my wife Ezri. Come sit down and have some lunch. You must be starving. It’s been three days since Jimmy brought you in.”

                Steve sat down at the table where a large feast was set down in front of him. He didn’t realize until then how hungry he actually was.

               “I hope you didn’t go through all this trouble for me. I’m mighty thankful but I don’t want to put you out,” Steve said, a little embarrassed.

               “Oh nonsense. This is a normal lunch at the Winchester house. We have to keep our help well fed. It’s the least I can do. They work so hard keeping this place going,” Ezri said with a smile, setting the table.

               “Well can I help you with anything? I’ve been told I’m good at folding napkins.” Steve chuckled, trying not to feel so in the way.

               “All you have to do is eat my wife’s wonderful lunch. Get your strength up to help us with that cow,” Sam said, placing a large glass of water in front of him. Steve smiled at Sam and decided to relax until the rest of the help got in from the fields.

               “You’re a lying sack of shit, that’s what you are!”

               “What?! I won that fair and square and you know it!” Two men walked in pushing each other and laughing.

               “Okay. I’ll let this one pass this time. But next time I won’t be as forgiving, Cas.”

               “I’ll hold you up to that Dean,” Cas said, lightly tapping Dean on the butt. “Oh, I’m sorry. Forgive us. We don’t usually have company,” He said, turning a light shade of red. “My name is Castiel. But you can call me Cas,” He said holding his hand out to shake.

               “Steve. It’s nice to meet you.”

               “And I’m Dean. The better looking of the Winchesters,” Dean said with a pearly white smile.

               “That’s what you think,” Sam had come up behind his brother smacking the back of his head. “Where’s Jimmy? I’m starving.”

               “He said he’ll be in in a minute. Said he wanted to get a few extra apples. He’s hoping to get Ezri to make an apple pie for dessert tonight,” Cas said with hopeful eyes towards Ezri.

               “I don’t see why not. Now that Steve is here I don’t have to look after the cow as much,” she said.  The boys looked at each other all smiles.

“No one makes apple pie like Ezri. It’s the best I’ve ever had,” Jimmy said waltzing in with a basket full of red apples.

“Oh stop. You have to say that,” Ezri said blushing. “Now don’t let the food get cold. Everybody dig in!”

               Everyone began to pile food onto their plates. Steve didn’t know where to begin. There were so many wonderful things to eat. Fried chicken, mashed potatoes, gravy, peas, corn, and fresh salad, all ready to be eaten.

               “Don’t be afraid buddy, get eatin’!” Sam said, patting him on the shoulder. Steve began to grab at the food and placed it on his plate. He took a deep breath and started to eat. The food was amazing, seasoned just right, perfect texture, the food danced in his mouth. The boys were right, nothing could compare to Ezri’s cooking.

               “This is incredible. Ezri, this is the best food I’ve ever had,” Steve said, spooning peas into his mouth.

               Ezri blushed shaking her head. “You’re just saying that, I’m sure your wife makes better food.”

               “I don’t have a wife. But even if I did have a partner I’m sure their food wouldn’t come close to this,” Steve said, glancing quickly at Jimmy only to notice Jimmy wasn’t looking away from him.

               The rest of the meal was spent chatting and joking. Not one thing was left on the table or the plates. All the guys leaned back in their chairs groaning happily that their bellies were full.

               “I don’t think I can move,” Dean said, closing his eyes. “I just want to go upstairs and ‘take a nap.’”

Cas looked over at him with a shy smile and a friendly swat on the arm. “Well, tonight we can ‘take a nap’. We need to go finish what we started out there,” Cas said, getting to his feet. “Come on lazy, the sooner we get out of Ezri’s hair, the sooner we get our pie.”

               “That’s right. There will be no pie if the work isn’t done. Now scram!” Even though it was an order, one didn’t feel nervous to run out of the kitchen. She was the perfect cocktail of strict and motherly. She cared about her farm, and her workers. Steve even felt as though she cared for him.

               “Alright dear. I’m gonna go finish fixing that fence.” Sam kissed Ezri on the cheek, put on his hat and walked out the door.

Ezri looked at the tool box he left by the door. “I swear, he’d forget his head if it wasn’t attached,” she said to Jimmy, chuckling. “Can you take this to him when you go to the barn with Steve?”

               “Of course.” Jimmy picked up the tool box and looked back to Steve. “I’m ready when you are.” Jimmy was holding the door open with his foot. His big eyes were friendly and welcoming, and *My shiny teeth by Chip Skylark began to play in the back of Steve’s head. Jimmy had the most beautiful smile. It was a smile you’d walk a mile to see. Steve could feel his stomach start to fill with butterflies, his face was warm and his palms sweaty. He took a drink of his water to find an excuse to look away. After a moment too long of silence, he got up and began to walk to the open door.

“Let’s go see this cow,” Steve said with the most confidence he could muster up.


	64. Old McWinchester Had a Farm Pt 2 (Farmer AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Professor Ashlex
> 
> Warning: contains smut

The two of them walked side by side, occasionally touching hands. Steve looked everywhere but to his right. He didn’t know why, but Jimmy made him feel nervous and happy and warm and safe. “This is a beautiful farm. Do you like working here?” Steve said trying to break the silence, and so he could hear Jimmy’s comforting voice.

               “I love it here. These people are like family to me. They took me in when I was at rock bottom. I couldn’t ask for a better place to be.” Steve looked at Jimmy who was smiling up at the sky. “What about you? Do you like doing what you do? Any family you can’t wait to get home to?” Steve stopped and thought about the questions he was just asked. “Steve?” Jimmy looked concerned and a little nervous. Had he asked something that Steve didn’t want to talk about? “I’m sorry if I’m prying. Just curious about our guest.”

               “No. You didn’t ask too much. I just can’t remember. I love my job. I’ve wanted to be a vet ever since I got my first pet. But my family, I can’t remember.” Steve shrugged his shoulders and continued to walk. “It’s funny, the only thing I can remember is that I’m a vet.”

               “Well, we’re happy that you can remember that. We aren’t in a situation where we can purchase another cow right now.” They reached the barn and went inside. “There she is. I’ll let you get started. I’m gonna take Sam his tools. Be back in a jiff.” Jimmy closed the door behind him leaving Steve alone with the cow. Steve stared at the place where Jimmy was standing, imagining how Jimmy’s lips would feel on his skin. Steve shivered and got to work.

               “Hello there. I’m here to help you,” Steve talked to the cow, knowing she wouldn’t answer. He held his hand out by her nose so she could get familiar with his smell. “I’m gonna find out what’s wrong with you, don’t you worry,” he said, smiling at her. Steve looked around, trying to find some supplies. In the corner was everything he would need. Steve pulled on a pair of gloves and started his exam.

               “I’m back!” Jimmy came in with a basket of apples, different types of cheeses, and a bottle of wine. “I thought we could snack while we look at the cow.” Jimmy laid out a blanket and sat down. “So, how’s she looking?”

               “Well, she’s got a bit of a fever and she’s a bit dehydrated. I’ll set her up with an IV.” Steve looked down at the udder and noticed something. “Is there any chance she could be pregnant?”

               “Well, I guess she could be. But if she is, how come none of the other doctors could find that out?” Jimmy asked looking a bit confused.

               “It’s hard to tell. They don’t start to show their “baby bump” until halfway through the gestation.” Steve pulled on a long black glove and slowly inserted his arm into the cow. Steve smiled “Yep, she’s pregnant.”

               “How can you tell?” Jimmy asked. His eyes were big with wonder and love.

               “Well, the cervix is tight and there’s a mucus plug.” Steve knelt down next to her and lightly tapped at her utter. “She pretty far along too. She could have this baby any day now. How long has she been like this?” Jimmy looked around the barn deep in thought.

               “She’s been burning a fever for about a month now. We’ve been trying to keep her cool and giving her the medicine the doctors gave us.” Steve looked at him a bit worried.

               “That’s probably why she has the fever. Her body is trying to kill the drug so it doesn’t interfere with the calf.” Steve knelt got up thinking of his plan of action. “Quick, bring me everything from that corner, get me a bucket of ice water, and a blanket.” Jimmy got right to what he was supposed to do. It wasn’t long before the whole farm knew what was going on.

               Days later, everyone was taking shifts looking after the cow. Steve was on his shift half asleep when he heard the barn door squeak open, jolting him awake.

               “Sorry. Didn’t mean to startle you,” Jimmy said carrying in the same basket as before. “We never did get to enjoy our little picnic the last time we were out here.” Jimmy laid out the spread and poured two glasses of wine. “Here, come sit. You could use a bit of a break.” Steve stretched his long limbs and walked over to the blanket. He took a long sip of his wine and snuggled into the warm comforting blanket. “How’s she looking?” Jimmy said getting closer to Steve.

               “She’s getting better. Her fever has gone down and she looks happier,” Steve said, taking another sip of his wine. “I think all the medication is out of her system finally.”

               “That’s good to hear. Here, eat this.” Jimmy picked up a piece of apple and fed it to Steve. He could feel his insides scrambling together. He could feel his face turn red and looked away embarrassed. “Don’t be shy. I like you Steve. I’ve felt a connection to you ever since I rushed you back to the house. It would have killed me if you hadn’t been okay.” Jimmy leaned in and nibbled on Steve’s neck. Steve had never felt like this about someone, or had anyone else feel this way about him. But he knew in that moment he never wanted to feel like this with anybody else. He turned his head and pushed his lips to Jimmy’s. *Firework by Katy Perry began to play as sparks flew from their lips. They stared into eachother’s eyes for a brief moment before embracing each other. Nothing could pull them apart. It was like two long lost loves finding each other after years of searching for one another. Jimmy stood up, pulling Steve with him and pushing him up against the wall. Their bodies were meshing into one, tongues intertwined. In one flowing motion, Jimmy ripped off Steve’s shirt and began to suck on his nipples. Steve’s hands were tangling themselves in Jimmy’s hair. Jimmy fell to his knees and slowly took off Steve’s pants.

               “Turn around.” Jimmy said giving him a look of pure animalistic rage. Steve did as he was told. He could hear the sound of rubber on skin, making his stomach jump with excitement. “Just relax.” Jimmy whispered making the hairs on Steve’s neck stand up. Jimmy began roaming Steve’s body starting at his mouth. His fingers traced the outline of Steve’s lips and his other hand started to venture south, brushing lightly on his skin. Steve was becoming a puddle of lust and passion, just as he was about to get control of himself, Jimmy blew into his ear, “are you ready?” Steve couldn’t imagine how this could get any better, but he mustered up all the voice he could and moaned. “Yes.” He could feel Jimmy’s smile on the back of his neck. Jimmy slid his fingers into Steve’s mouth, and he started to suck. All he could taste was the rubber from the gloves, but knowing just underneath, were the strong fingers of his lover. Before Steve could get used to this, he was turned around and thrown down onto the blanket. Jimmy looked down at him smiling, and holding his head pulling him in for a kiss. Steve reached out and undressed Jimmy. He was beautiful. His skin was soft and his abs were perfectly chiseled. All Steve could think to do was to soak in the beauty in front of him. He reached out and wrapped his fingers around Jimmy’s erect penis. Jimmy moaned, enjoying the pleasure he was receiving. He was enjoying it so much he almost came. Quickly, Jimmy flipped Steve over onto his knees and slowly inserted a finger into his asshole. Steve moaned as Jimmy reached around and began to stroke his shaft, up and down, up and down. One at a time Jimmy added fingers to arouse Steve more.  Faster and faster, pleasure was coming from every zone he could feel, and all too soon, Steve erupted. He fell to the ground shaking and panting. “You’re not done Cherry Pie.” Jimmy said pulling Steve up to his dick. Steve sucked so hard and so fast that Jimmy came in minutes. This time, it was Jimmy’s turn to fall to the ground.              

               They both laid together listening to each other breath. “So,” Jimmy whispered. “What was your first pet?” Steve looked at him smiling.

               “Believe it or not, my first pet was a pig.” Steve looked away hoping Jimmy wouldn’t laugh at him.

               “A pig?” Jimmy chuckled. “Is that why you specialize in farm animals?”

               “Yes. I’ve always loved animals, but there is just something about farm animals that fascinate me.” Jimmy looked at Steve with all the love in the world. He never wanted to let this go. Jimmy vowed from that moment that he would do whatever it took to keep this man. They snuggled close and fell into a blissful sleep.

               *Chhh Chhh* Jimmy woke slowly thinking he was still asleep. *Chhh Chhh* “Steve” he whispered nudging Steve awake. “Do you hear that?” *Chhh Chhh* “It sounds like there’s something in the field. I’m gonna go check it out.” Jimmy grabbed an iron rod and set out. Steve got up and went to go warn the others, but as he walked out he saw bright lights in the distance. He ran to Jimmy who was standing in the middle of what appeared to be a crop circle.

               The wind started to pick up and the lights were getting closer. The rest of the house had woken up and ran out to see what was going on.

               “What’s going on?!” Cas yelled out to Jimmy.

               “I’m not sure. Everything was fine an hour ago! I woke up to a noise in the field and came out to this.” The gang stood there in disbelief. How could this be happening? Steve stood still looking blankly up at the lights. Flashbacks were crossing his eyes like an old movie strip, and when it had finished, he crashed to the ground.

               “Are you okay?” Ezri cried falling to her knees next to him.

               “We have to get out of here!” Steve yelled trying to get to his feet. “I remember h-“  But it was too late. A big bright light came down on them, they all stood there frozen. The light above pulled them up and took them as its prisoners.


	65. 50 Shades of FBI (FBI AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Father
> 
> Warning: smut like hardcore smut read at your own risk

Steve looked at the manila folder sitting on his desk. He hasn’t looked at it since he first got the assignment. It was about UFO sightings. Being an FBI officer, Steve had better things to worry about. But just yesterday, he got a call from his boss, James Kirk, that people were disappearing and it seemed to be connected to the UFO sightings. Steve doubted it, but he knew he had to listen to his boss.

His boss. Of course he had to listen to his boss. If Steve were being honest with himself, he would do absolutely anything for his boss. James Kirk could have asked Steve to jump out of a plane and Steve would gladly do it. Kirk could punch Steve in the face and Steve would thank him. But of course, Steve’s boss didn’t need to know that.

Steve took the folder off his desk and walked out to the main office where everyone was waiting. There was Charlie, sitting on Eileen’s desk, Kevin and Harry being gross with one another, JJ chatting with some other random people…and over on the other side of the room was the special unit squads: The group of scientists from Michigan who called themselves the Rhythm Fusions, and a couple of special FBI agents straight from Washington DC named Agents Mulder and Scully. His boss, James Kirk was nowhere in sight. He was probably in his office.

“Hey everyone,” said Steve. He got a few greetings in response. He quickly explained the case and told everyone that they had to go down to the Winchester farm where the latest disappearances took place. The new agents all introduced themselves to the office and then they began getting ready to head out.

Just as Steve was pulling on his coat, someone called his name.

“Hey Steve, can I talk to you for a minute?”

Steve turned around to see who it was. James Kirk was sticking his head out of his office. Steve rushed to Kirk’s office, curious as to what he needed from Steve. When Steve entered, Kirk was back behind his desk.

“Steve, please close the door,” said Kirk. Steve heart was pounding as he turned and closed the door behind him. Was he in trouble? “I want to ask you something Steve.”

“Anything, sir,” said Steve.

“When you come back to the office, come see me again,” Kirk said, practically purring.

“Am I in trouble sir?” asked Steve, his heartrate picking up.

“Only if you if make Daddy angry, Cherry Pie,” said Kirk.

Steve’s eyes widened and he shivered at the nickname. So that’s what was going on. Two could play at this game. Steve drooped his eyelids and put a smirk on his face and said, “Oh Daddy, I would never.”

“That’s good to hear Cherry Pie,” he said. “I look forward to seeing you again. And I wanna make sure you’re being good, so I’m going to go on this assignment with you guys.”

Steve’s heart fluttered as he imagined Kirk watching him across the room as they carried out their assignment.

“But I’m sure you’ll be good for me, right Cherry Pie?” asked Kirk.

“Yes sir, of course,” said Steve.

“Good. You’re excused,” said Kirk. Steve took his leave, and just like that, he was facing the office, all eyes on him, as he closed the door behind him. Steve could feel his face heating up as he met the stares of his fellow agents.

“What happened in there Steve?” asked Charlie, bouncing her eyebrows.

“Nothing, lets go, we need to get to that farm,” he said.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They all got to the farm and met the Winchesters. Sam and Ezri, the couple who owned the farm, were delightful people who gave them info on the UFO. Dean, Sam’s brother, and his boyfriend, Cas, were both farm hands who worked there. They took the agents out into the field where there was a huge crop circle.

Throughout the entire investigation, Steve could feel his boss’s eyes on him. It was more thrilling than unsettling. He could hardly handle the anticipation of what was waiting for him later. Steve was trying his best to be good, but then, at the end of the investigation, right before they got to go back to the office, Steve messed up.

“Steve, you still need to do some paperwork back at the office before you’re free to go,” said Kirk.

“Wait what?” asked Steve. Steve was sure he had finished it all. “I was sure I had finished it all!”

“I have some more for you to do,” said Kirk. “I want you to do it before you leave tonight.”

“But sir-“

“Steve,” Kirk snapped. Steve’s heart thumped. He was in trouble now. “When we get back, I want you in my office. How dare you argue with me in front of all the guest agents.”

“Yes sir,” said Steve, his head down.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When they got back to the office, it was late at night. Everyone left for home, but Steve still needed to meet Kirk in his office. Steve’s heart was pounding with anticipation. He hoped he wouldn’t get fired or something, though, that didn’t seem likely.

He knocked on the door of Kirk’s office.

“Come in,” said Kirk within. Steve opened the door and stepped inside. Kirk turned his chair around to face Steve. “Hello Cherry Pie. Do you know why I called you in here?”

“No sir,” said Steve. Though, he had a pretty good idea.

“You’ve been a bad boy Steve,” said Kirk with a smirk. “Do you know what happens to bad boys?”

“No sir,” said Steve.

“Bad boys get punished, Cherry Pie,” said Kirk. “Just like I’m going to do to you.”

Steve’s heartrate quickened and a chill ran up his spine. Kirk’s voice was having quite the effect on him. He couldn’t wait for his Daddy to start telling him what to do. Kirk stood up from his chair and said, “Why don’t you take those silly clothes off, Cherry Pie.”

It was a command, not a question. Steve obeyed, pulling off his jacket to reveal his Bioshock t-shirt. He then took that off, revealing his stomach. He then slowly took off his plaid pajama pants and his boxers, revealing his already rock hard dick, glowing with sweat and anticipation.

Kirk was unabashedly looking him up and down. His dark, lust-filled eyes sent a shiver through Steve. Kirk walked around Steve and locked the office door. Oh my god, the door was unlocked the entire time, Steve thought. What if someone were to walk in?!

Kirk went back to face Steve and began slowly undressing. He unbuttoned his silk dress shirt, one button at a time, slowly revealing his rippling abs that made Steve’s mouth water. Then Kirk took off his polyester pants, and Steve’s eyes wandered down to the oiled, muscular thighs that lay beneath. Once those were off, something else caught Steve’s attention: the very noticeable bulge under the silk boxers. Steve licked his lips as those silk boxers were slipped off.

Kirks dick was half hard and much bigger than Steve imagined, which was saying a lot, because it was quite large in Steve’s fantasies.

“Why don’t you bend over the desk for me, baby girl?” said Kirk. Another command. Or even if it wasn’t, Steve wouldn’t be able to resist that deep, commanding voice. Steve went over to the desk and bent over it like he was asked. Kirk went to the front of the desk and tied Steve’s hands together, then pulled them across the desk and hooked the rope to a hook that must’ve been under the desk there. Steve was tall, but his feet were barely touching the ground now. The edge of the desk was digging into his hips.

But Kirk didn’t stop there. He got out a rope and wound it around Steve’s torso, behind his arms, through his crotch and back up around his neck. The rope work was clever: Steve couldn’t move very much without the rope straining on either his crotch or his throat.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Kirk going to an armoire in the corner of the room. He opened it, revealing an assortment of toys that made Steve shiver with anticipation. He hoped that Kirk would use all of them on him.

Kirk brushed a hand over several canes, before finally choosing one and taking it out. It was black wood, inlaid with ivory and carved into intricate patterns. Kirk then left Steve’s view. A black piece of fabric suddenly came across his vision and covered his eyes. Kirk tied the blindfold behind Steve’s head, then he said, “Open your mouth Cherry Pie.”

Steve obeyed and he felt a ball gag go into his mouth and buckle behind his head.

Then there was silence.

Steve stayed there for what felt like ages, trying to catch any sound of movement, but the carpet was too thick and it was absorbing any footsteps that would be there. All of a sudden, Steve felt the cane come down on his ass. A sharp THWACK! Steve jolted. Another hit came down on him, and then another and another.

Steve jumped when he heard Kirk’s voice right by his ear. “You’re doing so well for me, Cherry Pie. Keep up the god work.”

There was silence again and then Steve felt something new whip the backs of his thighs. After a few hits, he decided it must be a flogger. Each hit sent flares of pain through his legs, and each flare of pain went right to his dick, making him harder and harder.

Then silence again before he felt a cold, lubed up, finger slip into his hole. The finger slid in and out and then…another finger went inside. They moved in and out and scissored his open. Then, those fingers crooked, hitting his prostate. Steve writhed on the desk, but every movement strained the rope on his throat or crotch.

A third finder went inside of him, and then a forth, and then…they were gone. Steve laid there, waiting in anticipation, knowing what would come next. Then, all of a sudden, he felt Kirk grasp his ask cheeks and shove his entire length inside of him. Steve gasped. It was almost too much. Kirk was too big. But Steve only took a moment to get used to it and Kirk started slamming into him, full force. Relentless. In, out, in, out, in, out, every time, hitting Steve’s prostate. Kirk’s fucking started speeding up and getting even harder, if that was even possible. The edge of the desk was digging painfully into his hip bones with every fuck. He never wanted it to stop. His whole body was shaking. He was so full and his dick was so hard.

“Come for me Cherry Pie. Come for me without me touching your pretty little dick,” said Kirk. Kirk slammed into him once more and Steve went over the edge. He spilled out all over the side of the desk where his dick was pressed against. The orgasm ripped through him like a powerful hurricane of pleasure. Then he felt Kirk falter before he was spilling his seed into Steve’s ass, filling him up.

Kirk pulled out, but then Steve felt something else go into his hole.

“I want you to keep me in there for a while,” Kirk whispered in his ear. “Wouldn’t want you leaking out.”

Then, the blindfold was untied and so were his hands. The ball gag stayed in. Kirk retied Steve’s hands behind his back and lowered him down to his knees. Steve was looking up at his lover, waiting for the next move. Kirk went back to the armoire and pulled something out: nipple clamps. Kirk clipped them onto Steve’s nipples. They had a chain connecting them that went up to his neck and hooked onto the rope there. Pain flared through his chest, making him hard once again.

Kirk put a hand on his back, making him bend over until his chest was touching the ground and his ass was up in the air. With a single adjustment of the ropes through his crotch, they were spreading his cheeks apart leaving his stretched, plugged up hole on display. He couldn’t see what Kirk was doing behind him, but all of a sudden, the butt plug started vibrating. Pleasure rolled through Steve, between the vibrations rippling through his ass, the rope straining at his throat and crotch, and the nipple clamps, he didn’t think it could get any better. He was wrong.

Kirk had a paddle in his hand. He was circling Steve like a shark, the paddle on display for him to see. On it, it said “SLUT”.

“Now stay still for Daddy, like the good little slut you are,” said Kirk behind him. The paddle came down on his ass, over and over. Kirk kept paddling those cheeks till they were cherry red. Then, he took the butt plug out of Steve’s hole and immediately shoved his dick in, slamming into Steve again.

“You look so pretty like this, Cherry Pie,” said Kirk, still slamming into him. “So tight for me.”

Steve could barely handle it. His dick was so hard, he started writhing in his restraints, desperate for some kind of relief.

“You wanna come, don’t you Cherry Pie?” asked Kirk. “But you’re not allowed to, because sluts like you don’t get what they want. And I’m not done with you yet.”

Kirk pulled out and spilled his cum all over Steve’s back. It was so much. Steve could feeling it drip around to his stomach. But that wasn’t the end of it. Steve’s hole was already so stretched out, but that didn’t stop Kirk from stretching it even farther. Steve felt Kirk line up his fist to Steve’s hole, making him shiver. Then, Kirk slowly inserted his fist, stretching Steve almost too far, making him gasp around his ball gag. Kirk pushed his fist in farther, his hole stretching over his forearm. The fist hit his prostate and Steve writhed. Kirk started moving his fist in and out, faster and faster, hitting his prostate every time full on…and Steve just couldn’t take it anymore. He was going to come.

“Don’t come yet Cherry Pie,” said Kirk. “You’ve been so good for me so far, don’t screw it up.”

Steve strained to keep himself from coming. He strained to hard that tears started running down his face. He couldn’t believe this. It was almost too much.

Kirk slammed his fist into Steve’s asshole one last time and he said, “Go ahead and come now, Cherry Pie.” Steve came, spraying the carpet below him. It was the most powerful orgasm he’s ever had.

When he had spent himself all out, he fell onto his side, no longer able to hold himself up like that. Kirk started untying him and taking the nipple clamps off. Steve was limp. Kirk them lifted him up and pulled him into an embrace.

“You did so good baby, so good for Daddy,” said Kirk softly, stroking Steve’s hair. “Can I get you anything baby girl?”

Before Steve could answer, something caught his attention off to the side. The puddle of cum on the carpet started swirling and sparkling. It rose off of the ground and twirled around in the air like a ribbon. It swirled around the room and circled them. They watched in awe as they were swallowed by the ribbons of cum and sucked away into the next world.


	66. Tex Ed (Texas Abstinence Program AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Professor Ashlex

 It was a beautiful Wednesday morning in Wichita Falls, Texas. The birds were chirping, the flowers were opening, and the sun was creeping up over the snow-capped mountains. Everything about this day screamed perfection. What could possibly go wrong on this amazing day?

               Down below, families were stirring. Mothers were waking their sleepy children and fathers were showering and reading the morning paper before heading off to work. In the middle of the town, at St. John’s High School, teachers were preparing their lessons for the day. All except for one, Mrs. C’Dello.

               “Now Janis, we’ve gone over this a hundred times. You can’t teach what you’re teaching. It’s just… not right.” A bulky, balding man was sitting behind a mahogany desk. He was sweating a little bit, and his uneven nipples were just visible through his ugly button down shirt. “I’m sorry. We have to let you go.” Janis looked up clutching a tissue with tears in her eyes.

               “You can’t do this! I’ve done nothing wrong. All I’m trying to do is give those kids a proper understanding on how their bodies are changing. I’ve taken these kids from mindless, immature children to well informed young adults. You can’t possibly tell me that teaching them is a reason to fire me!”

               “Janis, my hands are tied. Our curriculum for health is abstinence only. I’ve gotten calls from angry parents who are ready to go to the superintendent and the local news.” He looked down at his hands knowing that he was wrong but knowing the alternative was even worse. “You’ll have 30 minutes to collect your things and be off the premises.” He got up from his chair and walked over to the door gesturing for Janis to leave.

               The hallways were filled with sleep deprived teenagers walking to their lockers and talking with their friends. Some were rushing to finish the homework that was assigned last night, others were catching up on the latest gossip, and some were mindlessly standing at their open lockers staring at the head cheerleader and she bent over to pick up the pencil she “dropped”.

               “Whatcha lookin’ at?”

The boy at the locker jumped hitting his head on the top shelf of his locker.   “What the hell Dean! Don’t sneak up on me like that.”

               “Well, you seemed to really be enjoying the view. I can’t say I blame you for staring though. She is grade A meat.” Dean was now watching her walk down the hall with his mouth open and was drooling a little.

               “Boys are so obvious.” Startled, both the boys jumped. Standing behind them was a group of giggling girls. “You know if you take a picture it would last longer.” Sammy blushed and could feel the front of his pants becoming abnormally tight.

               “Ha-ha. Yeah, I mean, I wasn’t staring. I was just trying to see the poster behind her.”

               “Nice save.” The boy next to him hissed in his ear.

               “Shut up Dean. I’ll see you at lunch.”

Dean glared at him for a minute before reading the air and leaving.

*Ring*

               “Ezri, come on. We can’t be late again.”

               “I’ll be right behind you guys.” Ezri turned around and gave the girl a ‘go or I’ll kill you’ look and turned back to Sammy who was now red from ear to ear.

               “So, wanna walk me to class?” Ezri asked with a sly smile.

               “I’ll do you one better. I’ll go to class with you.”

               “What? You can’t just go to a different class because you want to.”

Sammy chuckled and dug through his notebook pulling out a crisp white piece of paper. “Here. Look at this.  My schedule changed.”

Ezri scanned over the schedule for a good 5 seconds before her eyes lit up with joy. “We have health together now! This is going to be awesome!”

               “I know. But they put the wrong teacher down. I don’t even think this teacher teaches here.”

Ezri took another long look. “Hmmmm, that is weird. Maybe the computer is acting up. Just like when I ‘have an A’ but it looks like I got a D.”

               “Maybe,” said Sammy. “Come on, we’re gonna be late.” They rushed down the hall, nearly slamming into a wall of people blocking their way. “What’s going on? Why isn’t anyone going in?” Sammy said trying to see over the crowed.

               “They replaced her.” Ezri turned around to see the student teacher. She had a red nose and angry tears in her eyes. “Excuse me. Coming through. Time to waste an hour of our day.” She was pushing through the students to unlock the door. All the students made their way in and found a seat that wasn’t assigned but no one dared sit where they hadn’t sat all semester. There was a soft rumbling in the air, with a mix of uncomfortable tension. The last bell went off announcing that class is now started but the mysterious new teacher was nowhere to be seen. The class sat in silence, nervously waiting for what was to come.

               From down the hall came a clicking noise. It was growing closer and closer, the students were staring at the door with wide eyes. Some were shaking nervously, others were tapping their feet. The clicking was on top of them now. Click, click, click,… Then, suddenly, silence, all the students held their breath. The doorknob twisted slowly, the door creaked open to unveil a short plump woman with a rat face and mousy brown set hair. Her pink complexion clashed with her powder pink wool skirt and matching blazer. Her smile was welcoming and gracious, but there was something dark in her eyes. She shuffled over to the desk and placed a small boom box from the early 2000’s on it.

               “Good morning, class. My name is Professor Umbridge. I am your new Sexual Education teacher.” She had a very sing-song voice that made you feel very uncomfortable. “Now, I am going to start by getting to know you all by putting you in assigned seats. Ladies on one side and the gentlemen on the other. Shall we begin?” She said with a big smile, staring down at the class. A hand shot up faster than light as this was said. “Yes dear?” Professor Umbridge asked with her piercing eyes.

               “Why do you want to split the class by boys and girls?” Umbridge looked at the girl for a moment before clearing her throat to answer.

               “Well, I believe that children think more clearly without the distraction of the opposite sex around them.” And with a giggle from her, and a few mischievous looks from the other students, Umbridge pressed the play button on her boom box. Through the white noise came *Jesus is my Friend by Sonseed. “Alright now, lets begin.” Just then a short Asian girl with long black hair stood up. “Can I help you dear?” Professor Umbridge asked looking rather confused.

               “Yes ma’am. My name is Kaia. I would like to help by starting with the introductions. And by taking the seat on the far side of the class room.” She stood there for a second staring and Umbridge and smiling.

               “Well, of course dear. Thank you. Please, take your seat.” Umbridge looked as though she had just won the lottery with her achievement. Kaia didn’t hesitate, she gathered up her belongings and skipped over to her new seat

“B-but Kaia, I was hoping to sit a little closer to you than that,” said a boy with tears in his eyes.

               “I’m sorry Colin. But she’s right, you are just too distracting for me to learn.” And with the flip of her hair and a smirk she turned her back on him.

               “Well lovely. I’m so happy to see this working. Now, let’s finish with the ladies.” Professor Umbridge picked up a piece of pink parchment and began to read off names. “Emily, come sit here please. Then Paris, Joslyn, Jennifer. Second row JJ, Colleen, Kara, Ashley, and Ezri. Wonderful.” Setting down the parchment she looked over the side with the girls smiling. All the girls were looking at each other giggling knowing that she unknowingly put all the openly lesbian couples together.

“Hey Emily,” Paris whispered “don’t distract me okay?” Emily leaned over placing her hand on Paris’s knee and squeezed gently. “I’ll try not to.”  

               “I’ll distract you though,” Jos said, leaning over and nibbling on Paris’s ear.

               Clearing her throat, Umbridge began with the boys. “Alright. Can I have…” She paused for quite some time before looking up with a wicked grin and pin pointing a student. “Mr. Potter. I’ll have to have you right where I can see you. Here please!” She squeaked pointing sharply to the seat directly in front of her.

               Harry got up slowly, never taking his eyes off hers. Their staring contest was intense. Everybody held their breath wondering what would happen next. “Very good, Mr. Potter. Now, I don’t want any trouble like the last time. Do you understand me?”

               “Yes, Professor Umbridge. I must not tell lies,” as he said this, he felt his hand start to burn.

               “Moving on then. Kevin, next to Mr. Potter, then Sam. Next row Gassey…”

               “It’s Gacé!” He said more irritated than usual. His blond hair whipped around his face as he walked to his spot and gracefully lowered himself to the table.

               “My apologies dear. Next to Gacé will be Matt and then Colin. And the last row will be Dean, Castiel, James, and Steven.” As the rest of the class went to their new assigned seats, Umbridge looked down at her students with pride. She could now teach her students without any distraction from the opposite sex… *Pan to narrator. Narrator gives ‘you know where this is going’ look. Pan back to story* Jesus is my friend faded out and Umbridge began to teach.

               “Now, let us begin. Today we will start with the dangers of premarital sex. You must push…”

               “Professor?” Kara interrupted quietly. “Mrs. C’Dello was going to start teaching safe same-sex sex.”

               “And why would she teach that dear? Being gay is just a myth. And if you think you might be, well, I’ll just add you to the prayer sheet.” Umbridge looked down at a piece of parchment and scribbled down Kara’s name. The whole class stared at her in disbelief.

               “Is she serious?”

               “This has to be some sort of sick joke.”

               “What do you mean being gay is a myth? How can you just dismiss who people are?” Kara was standing now, ready to argue. “I think God has more important things to worry about than whether me or anyone else in this classroom is gay. I hope he does. And anoth…” Just then, Kara was thrown back into her seat. But the funny thing was, no one touched her, as if magic were involved. Umbridge just looked at her with soft eyes, and a smile that looked as though she had just vanquished an enemy. Everyone stared at Kara then to Umbridge, terrified. Harry was in the front, clenching his fists, his knuckles white.

               “Any other interruptions, and you will all stay after school to write lines for me. Understood?”

The class looked back at her with unblinking eyes. “Good.” Umbridge giggled and went back to her lesson. “Now, premarital sex is one of the worst things you can do. Giving yourself to someone in any way is impure in the eyes of the lord. You all need to steer clear of the opposite sex. Ladies, boys will tell you anything to go with them (True). You need to stay strong, because if you do have intercourse with them, no man will ever want you ever again (False). No man wants a tarnished flower. You can lie and say you’re a virgin but he will know (Also false). When you have intercourse your flower will stretch out, never going back to its original state (Just assume everything from this point on is false unless stated otherwise).”

The class looked as though they were hit by a bus. Their eyes glazed over and brain cells were coming out of every orifice they could escape out of.

               Time seemed to have slowed down. No, really, time seemed to have stopped. The clock was moving at the rate of a 900 year old snail with arthritis. How was this possible. Umbridge went on and on.

               “Now boys, if you touch yourselves, your penis will become smaller and smaller eventually shriveling up and falling off all together. As of this day, you are each required to eat a bowl of cornflakes every morning to prevent the urge to sin.” All the students stared at each other extremely confused, but no one had the will to raise their hands to ask as to why. (But I will. You seen Cornflakes were invented in 1894 by the Kellogg brothers, who were religious doctors, to get people to stop masturbating. They ran a sanitarium and health spa in Battle Creek, Michigan.) “And ladies, if you take birth control, you are probably carrying many diseases. You may even become sterile or dead. Oh, and your mother probably hates you.” Umbridge began to write on the whiteboard with her bubblegum pink marker. “Now, I want everyone to line up single file and when you get up here I will look into your eyes and tell you if you will be promiscuous before marriage. But don’t worry, for the group that will be, we will form a prayer circle and pray those feelings away.” The class got up and did as they were told. Almost feeling forced, like a force field was pushing them out of their seats and into line.

               One by one Umbridge stared into their eyes, putting names on the board either under good or bad. By the time this “exercise” was finished more than half the class was under the “bad” category.

               “Okay, so Colleen, Kaia, Kara, Matt, Gacé, JJ, Colin, Ashley, Steve, Harry, Cas, Emily, and Sam. Please get in the middle of this circle. The rest of you, grab hands, and let us all bow our heads and pray.”

Nobody did this. Umbridge looked ridiculous breathing heavy, kind of convulsing, crying a little. The rest of them stood there, staring at each other. A couple were trying not to laugh, others were rocking on their feet. Ashley was jamming to *Get low by Lil Jon and Eastside boys in her head. Kara was thinking of some sick dance moves she could use in her next dance battle. Matt and Gacé were just wondering when the next time they could tap each other’s butts. Colleen had her phone out and was snapchatting the whole thing. Kaia at one point exited the circle to get away from Colin. Em, Jos, and Paris were all playing footsie with each other. JJ and Jennifer were being absolutely hilarious, seeing who could do the most ridiculous thing without Umbridge looking up. This went on for what seemed like an eternity.

               Finally, Umbridge lifted her head, wiped her eyes, and took a deep breath. “Couldn’t you all just feel the sin flying away? What a good day. Now back to your- AHHH!” The room had shifted, making everyone jump.

               “What was that?” Gacé asked.

               “I don’t know. But if feels like someone is about to rise from the ground,” Kara said looking terrified. Ashley got on top of a chair ready to escape through the ceiling. Just in case it was their old dance teacher and shoes started to fly.

               “What is going on here!?” Umbridge ordered.

                Just then, the floor cracked open. Steam was rising from the hole and bright orange flames began to pour out of the underworld. Ashley and Kara were stacking chairs on the table for an easy escape. But wait. That wasn’t their old dance teacher. It was… MRS. C’DELLO!

               “How did you get back in here?!” Umbridge screamed. Mrs. C’Dello looked at her as if she were the dumbest person alive.

               “Did you not just see me rise from the ground? Harry, would you be a dear and fix that up for me?” Mrs. C’Dello gave him a wink and away he went.

“How did you know to come back here?”

Mrs. C’Dello pointed to the back corner where the student teacher was contacting her the entire time. “Thanks Angie. Now, I’m here to tell these kids the truth. But first I need to get the garbage out of here.” Mrs. C’Dello pointed her palm at Umbridge, made a fist and flung her into the air right above the pit Harry was fixing and held her their.

“NO! You can’t do this to me! Tell her I mean no harm. Potter! Tell her I mean no harm!” Umbridge was looking at him with sweet eyes and a smile.

Harry smiled back at her. “I’m sorry Professor. I must not tell lies.” And Just like that, Umbridge fell back into the pit where she came from. Harry waved a wand- pencil- over the hole and fixed it right up.

“Okay, let’s get some things straight. Being gay, lesbian, bi, cis, pan, ace, trans ect. isn’t a myth. How you identify yourself isn’t a lie. I mean even God said Ahh men. Premarital sex is not the worst thing you can do. Not everyone waits until they are married to have sex, and that’s okay. You are not tarnished, or a slut. Just because you had sex in high school doesn’t mean someone later in life isn’t going to want you. You are a beautiful person and some day, you will be loved by someone who doesn’t care. You are human with natural urges, and whether you act on them or not is completely your choice. But when and if you do act on those urges, whether you’re a guy or girl, consent means everything. If they say no from the get go, respect that. If they say yes in the beginning, then tell you to stop half way through, then stop! Don’t shame them or make them feel guilty for their decisions. When you have sex, your vagina doesn’t stretch out and never go back. The vagina can birth a human baby and go back. If this were true, you would be able to spot a women who had children from a mile away. Birth control is an amazing thing. From regulating periods to preventing pregnancy, birth control is wonderful. It won’t make you sterile and you definitely won’t kill you. And just because you take it doesn’t mean you’re carrying diseases. And your mother loves you. She was probably the one who suggested that you go on it. Just remember, if you are on it so you don’t get pregnant, still use a condom. And finally, there isn’t a certain look to promiscuity. Nobody can just look at you and tell you how you’re going to act. You can make your own choices.”

Just then, the T.V. on the wall turned on to that snowy channel that never gets signal and the gang was sucked into a new world.  


	67. Thia (An AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Father Parpar and Luci

 “I’m gonna krust you in the beautiful face!” Shia LaBeouf yelled vigorously at his blonde companion, Thor.

               Thor’s blood pumping muscle shattered into a million billion white blood cells and red blood cells but not really cause he could die and that would be horrendous considering the wonderful story just began. “How could you!” Thor screeched, salty water dripping out of his milky brown orbs.  “You know how I feel about krust!”

               “Well you know how I feel about the krusty thing were fighting over that hasn’t been mentioned in this story yet cause the author doesn’t even know!”  Shia retaliated sassily.

               “This is intense,” Ken whispered fearfully from where he was hiding nervously from under the damaged table.  His masculine roommates had been arguing furiously over seemingly nothing for five gloomy days.  Five. Gloomy. Days.  It was getting on Ken’s over-excitable nerves.

               “I’ve had enough of this crappy shit!”  Shia hollered angrily.  “I’m leaving savagely!  And I’m taking bitterly this leafy plant with me!”

               “No!” Thor squealed anxiously.  “We paid happily for that leafy plant together!”

               “Well, here!” Shia squawked indignantly.  He pulled out roughly his flaky brown wallet and threw stubbornly a crisp twenty dollar bill at Thor resentfully.  “That should pay greatly for your stupid half of this leafy plant!”

               “I don’t want you to pay for it, I want you to stay!”

               “I can’t, I’ve had enough.  Thor, we’re through.”

               Shia turned heatedly his toned back and stormed furiously out the brown door while Thor fell heartbrokenly to his muscular knees.

               Ken, wearing rainbow friendship bracelets on his puny wrists, a rainbow necktie, a pink and yellow Hawaiian shirt, and white cutoffs, crawled fabulously out from under the somewhat broken table.  Thor tried putting his impossible heavy hammer on there once and the sad table just wasn’t worthy.

               “Hey, macho man, it’s ok,” Ken spoke comfortingly. “This is just like that time when my girlfriend, Barbie, yes my lady friend whom I occasionally have hot sex with, and I broke up for a while.  She claimed I was gay can you believe it?  Anyways, I’m totally straight.  What were we talking about?  Oh yeah. I’m sure he’ll be back.  I mean he did leave most of his stuff here, so he’ll have to come back sooner or later.”

               “That’s not the point!”  Thor wailed roaringly.  A bolt of hot lightning shot through the sky just outside their dirty window.  A sad storm was beginning!

               “Wait, wait, wait,” interrupted Paris. “What the krust is this?”

               “What do you mean ‘what the krust is this?’  I wrote it for the fic!”  Kara said.

               “You mean you were planning on posting this on the blog as an au?” asked Paris.

               “Yeah, so?”

               “Well…” Paris didn’t know what to say. She stared at Kara, confused. “But…There’s no Destiel or Stirk or _any_ of the characters… What… I don’t understand. What is this?”

               “It’s… it’s… you know… It’s an au!”

               “Um…” Paris was at a loss for words. She wondered if maybe Kara was just pulling a prank on her, but she seemed sincere. “Our readers won’t understand what’s going on though. _I_ don’t understand what’s going on.”

               “Did you even read it?  It’s self-explanatory.  Basically, Shia LaBeouf and Thor are dating- I like to call it Thia LaBeouf- and they break up dramatically and Ken swoops in fabulously to save the day.  I just don’t see what you don’t get.”

               “It literally has _nothing_ to do with our story!” Paris argued. “We can’t just throw in random stuff with none of our characters in it!”

               “Ok maybe not but like, don’t you think our readers are bored of reading the same thing, week after week?  I just thought, I don’t know, maybe we could mix it up a bit. Besides, who doesn’t love Shia LaBeouf?” Kara asked.

               “…Well, that’s true. Everyone loves Shia LaBeouf…” Paris said thoughtfully. “But still! We gotta stay consistent! You can’t post this. Post it on your own blog.”

               “No one is going to read it there. ;;’;te;lr;rlknnkrm;re;mrtt;kmm;kte;mtr;lmt”

               Paris sighed and glared at Kara. Kara was looking at her from across the table with a hopeful expression. Paris looked back at the laptop. She thought of all the other nonsense that went on in the Au’s and figured, what the hell? How is this any stranger than the other ones?

               “Fine, you can post it, I guess…” said Paris, sighing in defeat.

               “Oh boy!  Can it be one of the final AUs?  Like in the climax order?”

               Pairs threw her head back and said, “Oh my god!” She couldn’t help but laugh, although it was getting a little too far. “I think that’s a little too far.”

               But Kara’s face was too pitiful to say no to so Paris threw back her head again in an exasperated groan and said, “Fine! I guess, whatever!”

               “Oh yay!  Oh man, people aren’t gonna know what to do with themselves once the sad storm starts.  And it is quite long, so I’d say it’ll have to post in at least six different parts.”

               Paris threw her head back again and closed her eyes. “Oh my god…” She ran a hand down her face then shook her head. “I don’t know about this… Man… I really don’t think this is a good idea…”

               “Wait seriously?  Why the krust not?”

               “Why do you think?”

               “You’ve gotta let me post this!”

               “Do you understand why you shouldn’t do this? Do you really not grasp this?” Paris said. “Do you really believe people are gonna want to read all this when they are already invested in the other characters and their story?”

               “I don’t even know what to believe in anymore,” Kara said sadly.  “All I want is for the people of the world to know how great of a ship Thia is.  That’s all.”

               Kara’s eyes started to well up and Paris knew at that moment that Kara was in fact not joking. Paris didn’t want to see Kara cry. Paris didn’t want to see anyone cry, for it would just break her little ol’ heart right in two. But Paris also didn’t want to see the downfall of the blog, the angry fans, the hate mail, the mass confusion that will break everyone’s heart. She needed to put her foot down. She needed to be the authority in this one.

               “Kara, I can’t let you post this fic. Absolutely not.” She said, putting her foot down as she said it. “I won’t allow it.”

               “Fine! Whatever.  But just know it’s your fault the world will never see the beautiful mess of a relationship that Thia is!”

               Kara left Paris’s house soon after, a plan forming in her mind.  Paris didn’t really check the queue for the blog, so it’s not like she would ever know if the fic got put in…

               Oh yes.  The world would soon all fall before the ship that was Thia LaBeouf.


	68. The Cocktail Lounge (Stripper AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Father Parpar

“Yo Dean! Good show tonight!” said Kevin. They were all backstage, counting the singles they had gotten from their performance. Kevin was pulling cash out of his g-string, as was Jimmy Kirk (aka the Captain), Harry (aka Magic Wand), Spock (aka Vulcan Sex Grip), Charlie (aka Moondoor), Ashley (aka Luscious), Aileen (Smokey), Emily (Kitten), and Matt (aka Honey Stick). Dean thanked them.

Meanwhile, Jimmy was too busy thinking about the face he couldn’t get out of his head. This face had blue eyes and a luscious bowl cut. This face belonged to a boy in the audience that has been coming to shows almost every week. Every time, Jimmy spotted him in the audience and this boy held his gaze for as long as Jimmy was on stage.

Jimmy was in love with this boy, and he didn’t even know his name. Tonight, the boy in the audience was wearing plaid pajama pants and a Pokemon t-shirt. His fashion sense made Jimmy swoon just thinking about it. He couldn’t wait for next week’s show, and wondered why this boy didn’t come nightly to see Jimmy dance on the bar and in the neon cages.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Steve went home and sat on his bed. He thought about how wonderful the show was that night. Jimmy Kirk, the Captain, was so good! Steve wished he could go every night to the Cocktail Lounge, but he had a hard time getting time off work at the fire station. The Chief didn’t know the reason he took Fridays off.

Steve started going to the Cocktail Lounge a few months ago when his bff, Shane, took him there. Steve was so impressed with the show that first night, and he was so star struck by the beauty of Jimmy Kirk, that he went every week, telling the fire chief that it was a family thing.  

Well, anyway, Steve couldn’t wait for next week. Because next week was the night of the yearly show that the club puts on. Steve heard that those shows were spectacular.

~~~~~~~~~~~

The next week rolled around and Steve got into his gross blue pickup truck to go to the show. He was dressed to the nines in his cleanest plaid pajama pants and his nerdiest Skyrim t-shirt. On his way to the club, he stopped at the Motor Inn to pick up his bff, Shane, as he does every week. Shane was waiting for him on the second story balcony, his shirt off and his cool sunglasses on. Shane saw him and folded up his ratty lawn chair and came down the rusted iron stairs. On his way to the car, Steve noticed how Shane’s wrinkles made his tattoos pronounced and how his stringy, dull hair billowed in the wind. Steve wished he could look as fabulous as his friend all the time.

When they walked into the club, Shane almost got thrown out, as he does every week, but Steve told the bouncers that he was with him. Steve looked up and saw that the entire club was decorated like a jungle. There were fake vines hanging from the ceiling and every pole and pillar was wrapped in foliage. The lighting was dim and the sound of birds and other animals filled the air.

The club was packed by the time the show was about to start. The stage was also decorated as a jungle. The whole setup was very impressive.

“What do I gotta do to get this on that stage?” Shane shouted, spreading his arms and sticking out his gut, drink in hand. Steve chuckled. Shane was so silly.

Just then, the lights dimmed and flashed, thunder rolling and pounding. Paris, the owner of the club, walked out on stage as the thunder and lightning settled down. They were wearing a safari outfit and was looking hella fab in it. They grabbed a microphone and said, “I hope you all are prepared for an adventure, because deep in the amazon rainforest, there is so much to see! So hurry and grab your drinks, take a seat…and welcome to the jungle!”

Paris left the stage then and the lights dimmed once again. The lights flashed and the thunder rolled back in as green light bathed the stage. The opening riff from the song Welcome to the Jungle*, by Guns N’ Roses, started playing. Four vines slowly lowered from the ceiling of the stage. Hanging from those vines were four women who were draped in heavy fur cloaks. They stopped their descent halfway, the ends of the vines touching the ground. At the same time, they took off the cloaks and dropped them to the ground. Under the cloaks, the women were wearing colorful, feathered dresses that matched their face paint. Just as the drums came in, the girls dropped to the ground and started their routine. Their routine was hard and intense and so sexy, it made every girl in a hundred mile radius turn gay.

As Steve watched, he understood why everyone talked so much about these shows. It was spectacular. By the end of the song, the girls’ outfits resembled something out of Brazilian carnival.

The opening of Muddy Waters*, by LP, filled the club and the girls on stage stood and looked to the left. The men crawled onto the stage, dressed as cats, draped in furs. Their routine was slow and languid and Steve could feel his mouth watering. All he could see was Jimmy up on that stage.

All of a sudden, a voice came unbidden into his head. It was Shane saying, “What do I gotta do to get this on that stage!” Shane’s voice repeated that over and over again in his head and then…the lightbulb came on. Steve had an idea.

The instrumental version of Mr. Saxobeat*, by Alexandra Stan, broke Steve out of his thoughts. On stage, all of the performers were dancing together. They were orbiting around each other in a battle-like sequence. All that glistening, bronze skin was so hot, that the mayor, all the way in town hall down the road, thought a heat wave was coming in and told his family to expect a power outage.

The end of the song was cut off by the roar of a tiger. The curtains at the back of the stage parted and out walked an actual tiger! Riding the back of the tiger was Paris, who was dressed in a spectacular mix of both outfit themes. The tiger stepped into the center of the stage and roared again, breaking up the battle. Paris jumped down from the tiger and spread their arms as they walked forward. They stopped at the edge of the stage and said, “Everyone shall bow to the queen of the jungle!”

The performers all bowed to Paris and then ran off the stage. Paris then said, “Thank you all for coming tonight! I hope you all enjoyed the show! But don’t go anywhere, the performers will be back out in half an hour to provide regular entertainment. In the meantime, get yourselves a drink and stick around! This party ain’t done yet!”

With that, Paris took the tiger off stage with them as the audience gave a huge round of applause. Steve clapped and went to the bar. All he could think about was his plan.


	69. The Cocktail Lounge Pt 2 (Stripper AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Father Parpar

One night, at the station, Steve was in his room. No one was at the station at the moment. Steve took out his fireman’s suit and put it all on. To the song Dangerous Woman*, by Ariana Grande, Steve started dancing around the small room. He peeled of layer after layer, rolling his hips and grinding as if he were giving a lap dance. He was down to just his suspenders and fireproof g-string. He got so into it that he didn’t realize someone was standing in the doorway.

Steve whirled around and turned the music off. There, standing in the doorway, was his boss, the chief. The Chief’s name was God, which everyone found really weird.

“By all means, don’t stop for me,” said God, sounding and looking suspiciously like Morgan Freeman. “That was very good!”

Steve mumbled a thank you, too embarrassed to look his boss in the eye. His face was flushed scarlet.

“Do you perform somewhere?” asked God.

“Not yet, but I want to work at the Cocktail Lounge,” said Steve. “The man I love is there.”

“I wish you the best of luck,” said God. “You go get yo man! After all, true love will always prevail. Just remember, gay is okay.”

God clapped Steve on the shoulder and then left. Steve stared after him in bewilderment.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Steve went to the club one day and approached Paris. Paris was in their office, lounging behind their desk with their feet up on the desk. Paris looked up at Steve.

“What do you want?” they asked.

“I want to become a stripper here,” said Steve.

“I only take the best,” said Paris.

“I am the best,” said Steve.

“Prove it,” said Paris.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jimmy was in the practice studio, working out and practicing with some of his co-performers, when Paris came in with someone in tow. But not just anyone. No, no, no. Jimmy would recognize that face anywhere, for it was the same face he saw in the audience every week, watching him and only him. Paris told everyone to come watch the audition. They put on Focus*, by Ariana Grande, and Steve stared his routine. He was dressed as a fireman, the outfit looking completely authentic. He stripped down to his g-string and suspenders by the end of the dance and left Jimmy all hot and bothered.

Paris and all the dancers there clapped for him. He was so good! Paris hired him on the spot and then told him to work out with the others to get rid of some of the flab. When Paris left the room, Steve turned around and made eye contact with Jimmy. It was as if they were gravitating towards each other. It was as if…they knew each other already…somehow. Jimmy lifted a hand and caressed Steve’s face. Steve batted his eyelashes at him. And from there, they knew they were meant for each other.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next week rolled around and Steve was a full part of the team now. Steve and Jimmy had formed a steamy relationship and nothing could tear them apart. Steve’s boss, God, continued to be supportive of him and he had not seen heads or tails or Shane. Shane’s wicker folding chair was no longer on the balcony of the Motor Inn.

One day, Paris came back stage and said to the group, “Alright guys listen up. There’s another strip club down the street called The Sultan’s Tent. The owner said some things to me the other day and I wanna kill him.”

“Paris, we talked about this,” said Ashley. “You can’t just kill people.”

“I know, I know. That’s why we’re going to go over there and challenge them to be our competitors at the national stripper convention,” said Paris. “And then when we win, I can kill him.”

Ashley glared at Paris and Paris chuckled and said, “I’m kidding. God. Anyway, who’s with me?”

Everyone agreed to the plan.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The National Stripper convention took place in Florida. The troop was ready. They had yet to actually meet this new strip club owner, but his troop was supposedly very good. But not as good as us, thought Steve.

The very next day, the show began. The first few troops were okay. Nothing to write home about. Then it was their turn. Backstage, Steve was nervous.

“Jimmy, I’m nervous,” Steve said to his boyfriend, Jimmy.

“Don’t be nervous Cherry Pie. We’re gonna win this thing. You’ll do great up there,” Jimmy punctuated this with a caress of Steve’s cheek and heated kiss.

Steve knew they would do great, but he was still worried about the possibility of something going wrong.

“Don’t worry babe,” Jimmy said again. “Nothing’s gonna go wrong. All our equipment was tested before this and everything.”

Steve lined up backstage and got ready for the show.

The troop was doing a routine themed “Vintage Burlesque”. The girls opened the show with a spectacular performance. Then the boys went out. And all too soon, it was Steve’s turn. He was being showcased in this show. With one last check over of his costume, he sat down on the sparkling swing that would be lowered from the ceiling. Everything was set.

Slowly, the swing lowered down and Steve was blinded by the lights and deafened by the audience. As the swing was still being lowered, Steve did his spinning routine on the swing, wowing the audience with his flexibility and skill and sexiness. He was just about to perform the dangerous, world famous stripper move called the Vietnamese Twist. His legs were wrapped around the chain and he was in position. His heart was pounding and sweat dripped from his nose. The climax of the music started up and he did the move.

But right in the middle of the move, the chains of the swing snapped and Steve saw the ground rushing towards him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Steve woke to the sound of beeping machinery. He cracked his eyes open and was blinded by bright lights. He blinked a few times and then there were voices all around him. Once his eyes adjusted, he saw that he was in a hospital bed and his friends were all around him. Jimmy was right there by his side.

“Oh my god, Steve! We thought you’d never wake up!” said Charlie.

“Cherry Pie, baby, we were so worried about you,” said Jimmy.

“Did we win?” Steve croaked out.

Everyone looked at each other and Jimmy said, “No, we didn’t. We were sabotaged by that Sultan’s Tent guy.”

“Where is Paris?” Steve rasped.

“They went to hunt that guy down. They killed him. He was just a normal guy named Sarumon. He had a family and they killed him…” Ashley said, shaking her head.

“Just hang in there Steve,” said Charlie. “You’ll be okay.”

The heart monitor on the wall started to speed up and nurses ran into the room. Steve’s friends all backed up but Jimmy still held his hand. Steve saw the girls look at him with pity and Kevin cried into Harry’s chest. Then…the monitor flat lined. Steve was gone.

The last thing he saw before his soul left his body, was the light from the monitor got brighter and consumed the entire room, sucking him, and everyone else into it and into the next world.


	70. Changing Dynamics (Basketball Team AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Luci

 Basketball season was the peak of excitement at Average High School in New York.  The basketball players basically ran the school with their overly expensive Nike socks and Walmart basketball shorts.  They were the greatest high school basketball team in all of New York- no.  In all of northeastern America.  The Lion basketball team now held five championship titles for the past five years in a row and, with this season, they would be going for their sixth.  No other basketball team in the history of northeastern American high school basketball had ever won six consecutive championship titles, and the Lions were going to be the first to do so.

               The entire school was excited for basketball season.  More people turned up to watch the tryouts than the homecoming football game.  The coach, Jack Bolton, was considered a god at Average High.

               The team consisted of fifteen players, each having their own unique talents that made the team so unbeatable.  There was Dean and Sam Winchester, brothers who could practically read each other’s minds out on the court, and could play expertly off each other with ease.  Castiel Novak, who could dunk the ball like he was flying through the air on angel’s wings. Harry “Magic” Potter, whose skills are coveted because of how outstandingly impossible they were (his skills were often compared to that of Magic Johnson, which only made the nickname stick more). Kevin Tran, who was able to take the physics from a textbook and apply it on the court.  Steve, who was so tall that he could basically just place the ball in the net from where ever he was on the court.  Colin Creevey, who was crazy enough to try anything, which made him a valued player.  Spock, whose cool and calculating demeanor often caused the opposing team to underestimate him, then have their asses handed to them when Spock was on the court. Pavel Chekov, who was the perfect person to have helping you out on the court.  Leonard McCoy, who was a basketball badass and could play any position necessary.  Troy Bolton, whose dad was the coach and, apparently, basketball is an acquired trait in the Bolton blood line.  Chad Danforth, who, whenever he left a room, left people arguing what was better- his basketball skills or his hair.  Then there was Nathan and Zach, the new freshmen on the team who were really good at sitting on the bench.

               And how could anyone forget James T. Kirk, basketball extraordinaire.  He had been the team captain since his freshman year and could play like there was no tomorrow.  Rumor had it that he had 72 colleges waiting with full-ride basketball scholarships for him once he finished high school at the end of the year.  Apparently, he had once been challenged to a game of basketball- 24 players against him- and he had 60 points before 10 minutes had passed. The pillow on his bed is just a slightly deflated basketball.  He once made a basket from inside a moving vehicle, and all the windows had been up (not recommended, as windshield replacements can be expensive).  Once, he was on vacation in Germany while he was supposed to be playing a game, so he video called another player and played from over the phone.  When asked if there’s anything he wants to do, he always says play basketball.  When that’s not an option, he looks up basketball statistics on his phone and sits in silence.  And if that’s not an option, he’ll watch a basketball game in his head where he’s the star and everyone else is inferior.  So it’s basically exactly like when he plays basketball.

               Basically, James Kirk is a legend, not only among his classmates, but all over northeastern America.

               Now every member of the basketball team was a legend in his own right, which made them some of the most sought after dates in the school, yet all of them remained single except Sam and Colin, to a lot of their classmate’s surprise and confusion.

               But something was different this year, Charlie could tell.  The team seemed to have a different… dynamic then it usually did.  And it was bugging the shit out of her.

               “So you’re telling me none of you noticed the difference in the team this year?” Charlie asked her friends, Jo, JJ, Ezri, Phyllis, Aileen, and her girlfriend Arwen, at lunch.

               “You mean besides the two new freshmen?” Jo asked.

               “I’m not talking about the freshmen!  I’m talking about the way the team is acting different this year.”  Just then, Dean stood up across the room, walked about fifteen feet and slapped Cas on the butt, then walked back to his seat, looking pretty confused.  “Like that!” Charlie exclaimed, pointing to a bewildered Cas.

               “Like what?  Cas almost always looks confused,” JJ chimed in as Phyllis nodded their head in agreement.

               “You’re telling me none of you saw that.”

               “Charlie we really have no idea what you’re on about,” said Ezri.  “Can we talk about something else?  After all my boyfriend is on the team, and this is making me slightly uncomfortable.”

               “Sorry, Ezri, I just… thought I saw something, is all.”

***

               That week, the basketball team won their first game of the season.

               James had been the one to make the final basket, right as the clock hit zero.  And the crowd.  Went. Wild.  With that basket, the game had gone from tied to taken by the Lions. The song *All I Do is Win rang throughout the gym as the basketball team rejoiced in their first victory.

               The student section of the bleachers was chaos as the students cheered and celebrated.  Ezri ran down the stairs from where she had been sitting in the bleachers with Charlie and friends and into Sam’s arms.  He picked her up and spun her around then set her back down and kissed her deeply as their audience yowed and awed.  

               As the crowd started to settle down (over twenty minutes later) the Lions exchanged a round of “good games” with the opposing team, then ran off to the locker room, never once stopping their celebration. They all sat down on the bench that ran under their lockers in a square semicircle, as they usually did after a game or after practice.

               “Well boys,” said Coach Bolton as he entered the locker room, a giant smile plastered onto his face, “congrats on the first game of the season!”

               Again, the team started cheering and clapping as the coach held his hands up as a signal for them to calm down.

               “As tradition, I must give my end-of-the-first-game-beginning-of-the-season speech.”

               James, Dean, Steve, and McCoy all groaned, as they were seniors and had all heard this speech three times before, having all joined the team their freshman year.

               “You all played well tonight, but we still have a long way to go.  You boys are a team; you’re all one unit.  Which means you have to look out for each other and you have to have each other’s backs.  I don’t want to see any fighting this season, as we still have a lot of time together, although that’s never been a problem in the past, has it?  To the seniors, make the most of this year.  Whether or not you’re going to play in college is no concern of this team, so play every game like it’s your last.  To the freshmen, welcome to the team.  I’ll say that every day until the championship. Remember, you earned your place on this team, and no one deserves it more than you.  To the juniors and sophomores, welcome back.  We still have a long way to go.  Remember, don’t do anything stupid to get yourselves hurt, your health is imperative.  And above all-“ suddenly the coach stopped mid speech.  He shuddered violently then continued talking, his face completely blank and his voice completely monotone.  “Remember what you are feeling is normal.  Hormones may cause you to think things you would not have thought before. Just give into your urges and go with the flow.”  Again, the coach shuddered violently, a confused look coming over his face. “Whoa, must’ve blacked out for a second, sorry about that.  Good game, boys.”  The coach then exited the locker room, scratching his head.

               “Does he always do that?” Zach asked.

               “No, that was new,” said Troy.  “I’ll be right back.”  Troy took off, out of the locker room and after his dad.

               Charlie and Ezri were still sitting in the gym, waiting for Sam to come out of the locker room.  The gym was basically empty except for them and one of the janitors.

               “I still can’t believe he made that shot,” Ezri said, gushing over Sam.  “I would have thought that was impossible if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes.”

               “Yeah that was insane,” Charlie agreed.

               “He never fails to amaze me, I mean-“

               Ezri was still talking, but Charlie wasn’t listening anymore.  Coach Bolton just appeared out of the locker room, looking as if he was about to be sick. He placed his clipboard on a nearby chair and placed his hands on his knees.  Troy ran out of the locker room, moved the clipboard and helped his dad sit down.

               “Ezri, look over there,” Charlie said pointing Troy and the coach.

               From where the girls were seated at the top of the bleachers, they couldn’t hear what they were talking about, but Troy seemed to be confused and concerned, and the coach still looked like he was going to throw up.

               “Weird, I wonder what’s going on,” Ezri said. “That coach always struck me as odd.”

               “What do you mean?” Charlie asked.

               “He’s just so happy all the time.  I guess eventually he had to crash, right?”

               “I mean I guess.”

               Troy dramatically threw his arms in the air and turned away from his father and stormed back into the locker room, leaving the coach to sit on his own.

               Charlie was suddenly uncomfortable sitting in the gym. “Maybe we should wait for Sam and Dean in the hall?”

               “Yeah, good idea.”

***

               “Everything alright, Troy?” Chad asked his best mate when he reentered the locker room.

               “I’m not sure,” Troy answered.  “He’s acting really weird.”

               “I’ll say,” said James.  “I’m not sure I’ve ever heard that variation of the speech before.”

               “You’re telling me.  I hear a variation of that speech every time I so much as do the dishes with my mom.  But I’ve never heard anything like that ending before.”


	71. Changing Dynamics Pt 2 (Basketball Team AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Luci

Dean was dressed in his finest after the game.  His “Every Damn Day” shirt, black basketball shorts, Nike socks, and his Nike basketball shoes.  To be clear, they’re different from the shoes he wears to actually play basketball in. These were one of the several off-court pairs of basketball shoes he owned.  These were just for fashion.

               Dean, Sam, Cas, Ezri, and Charlie were all piled into Dean’s Impala, headed to Denny’s, where the team plus friends always met up after a successful game.  If they were unsuccessful, they went to iHop.  They haven’t been to iHop in a long time.

               Usually Charlie would have turned down an invitation to hang out with the team, but Dean had invited her and she hated to disappoint Dean, who was one of her oldest friends.  Plus, she wanted to know what was up with the coach.  Plus, she was craving some pancakes.

               Dean had his phone plugged into the aux cord and was currently blasting *Welcome to My House by Flo Rider.  Dean’s music taste was, well, White.  In fact, everything about him screamed White Boy. Same could be said about Sam.  And Cas.  Actually, nearly the entire team was so White it hurt.  They were whiter than Chip Skylark’s teeth.  They were the definition of stereotypical.  They didn’t always used to be that way, though.

               Charlie could recall a time when Dean wasn’t a stereotype, back in middle school.  He had a personality back then; he wasn’t just Nike socks and an overrated game. He was unique and fun and… well, he was Dean.  Now, however, he was White.

               Not that there’s anything wrong with that, Charlie just thought he was… bland.  Like a loaf of white bread, which is bad for your heart.  Not that White Boys are bad for your heart, well they could be, if you get into a bad relationship.  Basically, Charlie was really glad she was gay.

               The Impala pulled into the Denny’s as the final verse of another average rap song finished, and Charlie was thankful.  She had been thrown in the backseat, forced to sit next to Ezri and Sam as they made out.

               Dean took the keys out of the ignition and turned to Cas.  “Ready to go, babe?”

               “Yeah, it looks like James and Steve-” Cas paused. “Did you just call me babe?”

               Charlie could see Dean’s ears turning pink. “What? No,” Dean said hastily.

               “I swear I heard you say babe.”

               “I didn’t!  I said bro.  Cause you’re my bro, bro.”

               “Oh.  Guess I just misheard you.”

               “What, do you wish I said babe?  Are you gay or something?”

               “No!  I’m not gay! You’re gay!  Are… are you gay?”

               “No!  Never, that’s gross.”

               Charlie decided she had heard enough and climbed out of the car, muttering something about hyper-masculinity.

               Dean and Cas followed Charlie into the Denny’s, walking next to each other, but making sure to keep at least three feet of space between them at all times in order to avoid any accidental hand touching or making out.  Because _that_ is how being gay works.

               By the time Charlie walked up to the table reserved for the team and friends, most of the team had already arrived.  James and Steve were playing catch with a fork; Colin was talking to his girlfriend Kaia, who seemed to only be half paying attention; Kevin, Harry, McCoy, Spock, and Chekov were giving each other play-by-play recaps of the game, each from their own perspective; Troy was talking to Chad about something, seemingly worried.  There were a few people at the table Charlie didn’t recognize, so she assumed they were friends with some of the other team members.  The freshmen hadn’t shown up yet.

               James waved to her, and gestured to the empty seat between him and Chad.  Charlie smiled, glad she could sit next to someone she could tolerate as opposed to most of the trash on the team.  Dean seemed to be slowly working his way onto the trash side of the team, figuratively and physically.  He and Cas sat down by Kevin and Harry, joining that conversation.  They sat next to each other but not _too_ next to each other, if you get my drift.  Sam and Ezri were still in the car.

               James, despite being the captain, was one of the least White members of the team.  For one thing, he was unapologetically pansexual.  He didn’t do the “No Homo” bullshit that most of the guys ran around screaming.  He also wasn’t the biggest rap fan.  He listened to Broadway soundtracks and Shakira.  A lot of Shakira.  He also made covers of songs on YouTube where he talk-sings the words.  His cover of Rocket Man had gotten at least 100 views. The rumors that flew around school about his eat, sleep, basketball routine weren’t true in the slightest. Well, they were mostly true, but he did save time for other activities, contrary to popular belief.

               “James, hi!  That game was incredible!”  Charlie said as she sat down, bracing herself for a long discussion about basketball.

               “Thanks!  How are you, how’s Arwen?”  James asked.

               Charlie was a little surprised.  Most of the guys on the team liked to talk about themselves or basketball, not how other people were doing.  “I’m great, she’s great… we’re great!  It’s been wonderful, she’s, well, she’s my favorite.”

               “That’s good to hear!  I always knew you two would be great together.”

               The waitress approached the table.  She looked tired and slightly angry.  “Hello, I’m Miranda and I’ll be your server today. Can I start you guy with anything to drink?”

               The team and friends ordered their drinks, then their pancakes, then the party had begun.

               The team was seeing how many different things they could take shots of.  Syrup, ketchup, mustard; someone even tried to take a shot of salt.  Basically, teenage boys are disgusting.

               Troy and Chad were staying out of the shots contest. Troy looked worried, and Chad was trying to make him feel better.

               “Hey, everyone sometimes leaves their dad feeling unwell alone in a dark gymnasium.  It’s not that big of a deal,” Chad said, trying to be comforting.  It wasn’t working very well.

               “I’ll be right back, I’m going to call home,” Troy said, standing up and walking towards the bathroom.

               Now was Charlie’s chance to snoop. “Everything alright?” she asked Chad.

               “I’m not sure.  The coach got all weird well giving his post-game speech.  He said some things he claims he doesn’t remember.”

               “Whoa, seriously?  Like what?”

               “Something about hormones and giving into your urges? It was super creepy and kinda pervy.”

               “Whoa that’s wild,” Charlie paused, a question forming in her mind.

               But she would never get to ask that question. A car pulled into the parking lot, its head lights blinding the team through the windows.  The engine went silent and the lights went out.  The song *Space Jam could be heard in the distance. But it was getting closer. Suddenly, the doors blew open and the wind whistled around the Denny’s.  Menus and napkins were caught in the wind and flew towards the team’s table. A menu hit Steve in the face. Charlie could see a group of people climb out of the car, which she recognized as a red Aztec.  Far too many people got out of the car then should have fit.  The group walked into the Denny’s in formation; each of them were dribbling a basketball in time with the music.  Kaia, Colin’s girlfriend suddenly stood up from her spot at the table and took off her coat to reveal that she was wearing the same thing as these mysterious people; she went to join them in their formation, catching a basketball that one of the girls threw to her.  They were all wearing matching gold jerseys that identified them as the Rhythm Fusions and had a dancing lady on the front of it.  They were all wearing sunglasses, despite the fact that they were inside at night.  Suddenly, they all passed their basketballs to the person next to them, and posed dramatically as the song ended.

               The person at the front stepped forwards. They were wearing far too much gold jewelry, and Charlie was certain that it would slow them down on the court. Their shoes matched the gold in their jersey, and they certainly looked expensive.

               “The names Paris,” they said glancing down at the people sitting around the table.  “Word on the street is you guys are the best basketball team in northeast America.  We’d like to test that.”

               The Rhythm Fusions struck a different dramatic pose.

               “Who among you is the leader?” they asked.

               James rose from his seat.  “I am.  Name’s Kirk. James Kirk.  What school do you come from?”

               “Here and there.  We’re not a school team.  School slowed us down.  That’s why we joined up.  I come from right here, in this town.  Some of us come from as far as California, like Ashley.”

               The one who must have been Ashley struck a different pose.

               “What are you doing here?” asked James.  “We just want to eat our pancakes.”

               “As I said, we’re here to challenge you. Your team against our team. Street rules.  Winner claims the title of the best basketball team in northeast America.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Kevin chimed in.  “In order to be the best, you have to beat everyone.  That’s why tournaments are set up the way they are.”

“Thing are different in the streets,” said Kaia,

Suddenly, Colin recovered from his shock.  “Kaia?  What are you doing?”

“What do you think I do when I’m not with you?”

“That’s my girlfriend,” Colin said to the person next to him.

“That doesn’t mean we can’t be on rival basketball teams.”

“Ok, ok, back to business,” Paris said.  “Do you accept our challenge, or should we tell the rest of the basketball community what a bunch of wimps the Lions really are?”

James looked down at him pancakes in contemplation, then back up at Paris.  “You’re on.”

“The coach isn’t gonna like this,” Kevin muttered.

“Good,” said Paris.  The Rhythm Fusions struck a pose.  “Week from Saturday.  Midnight. The court in the park on the corner of Lafayette and Jefferson.  Be there or be square.”

“Bring a mop,” said an RF.

“For your blood,” finished a different RF.

Space Jam began to play again, and the team commenced their choreography as they left the Denny’s.  The farther away they got, the quieter the song got.  Once they were all outside, the doors slammed closed.  They all piled into the Aztec and drove off into the night.

“We’re screwed,” Harry muttered into his hands.

“Hey, we don’t know that,” said James.  “Sure, they’re flashy and super in sync with each other, and they seem to be super close friends and I don’t doubt their skills- you know, I’ve actually seen them play and they’re amazing- but you know what we have? Each other.”

“Oh great,” said Kevin.  “This is just great.”


	72. Changing Dynamics Pt 3 (Basketball Team AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Luci

All that week at school, the basketball team was on edge, which meant the whole school was on edge, and they didn’t know why.  There was more fights that week then all of last semester. Several teachers took sick days. The lunches tasted worse than usual, as the lunch ladies were not feeling well.

               Charlie had noticed this phenomenon a few years ago, and had named it the Game Effect.  The basketball team somehow seemed to control the mood of the school. When the team was winning, the school was usually cheery and excited, but if the team was losing, the school became gloomy.  The strangest part was, no one seemed to notice that it all centered around the team. Sure, everyone followed the team on their road to the championship, but no one seemed to notice just how much it affected their moods.  It kinda freaked Charlie out.

***        

               Luckily, this was one of the rare weeks that the team didn’t have a game, so they were able to go to practice and focus on what it would take to take down the RFs.  On Saturday, the team felt as confident as they could.

James, of course, always felt confident.  The team might have been edgy all week, but he was doing just fine; he always was.  Eat, sleep, basketball.  No time to feel nervous.

The team got to the park about half an hour early, to warm up. They were running the drills they always did before any game, although it felt different this time.  The park was silent except for the dribbling of basketballs and the wind.  The full moon cast an eerie light onto the court.  They had a small audience, just a few people they had asked to be there. Among them was Charlie, Arwen, and Ezri. There was two other people Charlie didn’t recognize.

“Do you guys hear that?” Spock asked.

“Hear what?” James asked.

“No, I hear it too,” said Dean.

In the distance, the rumbling of an engine could be heard.  Also in the distance, they could see headlights steadily approaching the court.  Once again, Space Jam could be heard.

The team gathered at one end of the court to watch the RF’s fabulous entrance.  One by one they climbed out of the car.  First came High Jump Matthew.  He could dunk on a hoop fifteen feet above his head, without taking a running start. Then was New Mexico Two Step, or Gacé. As his name suggested, he could take two steps and be in New Mexico; he was able to cross a court faster than anyone in recorded history.  There was Kaia, who was so fast and agile on the court she resembled a bee in midflight. There was Kara, who kept a cool demeanor off the court but was wild while playing.  There was Colleen the Zebra Goddess; what else needs to be said? She was the goddess of zebras and basketball.  Then came Ashley, hair dresser and dance teacher by day, basketball legend by night.

And how could anyone forget Paris, basketball extraordinaire. They had been the team captain since the formation of the RFs basketball gang and could play like there was no tomorrow. Rumor had it that they had 73 colleges waiting with full-ride basketball scholarships for them once they finished high school at the end of the year.  Apparently, they had once been challenged to a game of basketball- 25 players against them- and they had 61 points before 9 minutes had passed.  The pillow on their bed is just a slightly deflated basketball.  They once made a basket from inside a moving vehicle, and all the windows had been up (not recommended, as windshield replacements can be expensive).  Once, they were on vacation in Germany while they were supposed to be playing a game, so they video called another player and played from over the phone.  When asked if there’s anything they want to do, they always say play basketball. When that’s not an option, they look up basketball statistics on their phone and sit in silence.  And if that’s not an option, they’ll watch a basketball game in their head where they’re the star and everyone else is inferior.  So it’s basically exactly like when they play basketball.

Clearly, the only person in all of northeast America who could rival James was Paris, and they were ready to find out once and for all who had the superior basketball team.

Paris locked the Aztec with their keys, and the court was silent- the Lions standing nervously on the far side wearing their school basketball uniforms and the RFs dramatically posing on the other side in their solid gold jerseys, sunglasses, and gold bling.  James and Paris stepped forwards to exchange words and shake hands.

“Standard rules?” James asked.

“Five on the court, the rest on the bench,” Paris answered. “What we playing to?”  

“I was thinking fifty.”

Paris raised an eyebrow.  “Fifty, that’s ambitious of you.  Deal.  Five minutes to prepare, then we go.”

               Both captains turned and walked back to their teams, each forming a plan.

               Five minutes later, both teams were ready. First on the court for the RFs was Gacé, Matt, Kara, Kaia, and Ashley.  Paris was waiting for later in the game to get on the court, James noticed, so he would wait too.  Playing for the Lions would be Dean, Sam, McCoy, Chad, and Colin.

               Acting as referee was Nyota Uhura.  She walked to the center of the court with the ball, threw it in the air, and the game begun.  Paris pulled a boom box out of somewhere, hooked up their phone, and the song *That’s How I Beat Shaq by Aaron Carter began to play.

               On the court, the players were playin’. Matt was in possession of the ball; he dribbled fiercely, getting ready to pass the ball to Kara.  Dean jumped in the way last second, stopping the ball from going to Kara, but Ashley managed to grab it from Dean.  She passed the ball to Kaia, who effortlessly put it in the net!

               “Three points to the Rhythm Fusions!” said Uhura.

               The game went on, both teams giving their all. Sam took the ball, attempting to pass it to Dean, but Gacé got in the way.  Sam tried to run around him but tripped, falling to the ground.  Gacé took the ball and passed it to Kara, expecting the game to go on.  But Sam wasn’t standing up.

               James called for a time out; he and Dean helped Sam off the court.  Sam’s ankle was busted and he was out of the game.

               “Sorry James, I just lost my footing,” Sam said, sitting on the sidelines.

               “It happens don’t worry about it.  You and Dean are out.  I’m sending Steve and Harry in.”

               The game began again as the song *I Wish by Skee-Lo began to play.  The score stood at 25-26, the Lions in the lead.  But they were facing some problems.  Kaia had the ball, and Colin was having issues getting it from her.

               “Kaia please we don’t have to fight like this.”

               “We’re playing basketball.”

               “Please, we don’t have to do this.  Is it something I said?”

               “It’s just basketball,” Kaia said as she passed the ball to Matt, who put it through the net.  “Get over it.”

               “Colin!” this was James.  “Get off the court!  This is ridiculous.  Spock! You’re up!”

               “You gotta get your head in the game,” Troy said to Colin as he passed by.

               The jams and the game went on.  The score was 42-46, and the RFs had the lead.

               “It’s time to show these fools how to really play,” said Paris to Colleen.  “You ready?”

               “Let’s do it,” said Colleen.

               Paris called Ashley and Matt off the court and got ready to go.

               “If they’re in I’m in,” said James.  “McCoy, you’re off.”

               As the game began again the song *Heart of a Champion by Nelly began to play.  The RFs had the ball; Kara passed it to Colleen who tried to pass it to Gacé, but Chad snatched it out of the air.  He passed it to Spock, who put the ball into the net off the backboard.

               James took the ball and dribbled it down the court, Colleen hot on his trail.  He passed it to Steve, who put the ball in the net.  The Lions were catching up.

               “Enough playing around!” said Paris.  “Get the ball to me!”

               The RFs did just that, and in no time the score was 49-48, with the RFs in the lead.  Paris was truly a basketball legend.

               “This is our last chance,” said James.  “We’ve got to score, or were done.”

               The game kept going, with Kara in possession of the ball.  She passed it to Colleen, who was going to pass it to Colleen, but Harry got in the way. The ball bounced without an owner for a moment before Steve grabbed it and threw it to James.

               “Get the ball!” Paris yelled.

               James dribbled the ball down the court and was going to shoot, but got stopped by Gacé, who managed to get the ball from James. He traveled with the ball back to his side of the court and passed the ball to Paris.  Just as Paris was about to shoot, Chad got in the way, causing Paris to miss the basket.

               “Impossible!” they yelled.

               But it seemed to be possible, indeed!  Spock grabbed the ball and passed it to Harry, who took it back down the court, where James was waiting.  Harry threw it and James caught the ball out of the air, turned around and took the shot.

               “The Lions have reached fifty points!”  Uhura shouted.  “The Lions win!”

               All five members of the crowd cheered.  The Lions partied and yelled and celebrated. Uhura congratulated James with a handshake.  Sam and Ezri were making out again.

               Charlie walked towards James to congratulate him but was interrupted by Paris, who walked over to James with the rest of the RFs behind them.

               “Good game,” Paris said and offered James their hand.

               James accepted the hand.  “You’re not mad?”

               “Of course I’m mad.  I’m not gonna let you see that though.  And, fairs fair.  There will eventually be a rematch, mark my words.”

               “Oh I believe you.  We’ll have to play one on one sometime,” James said with a smile.

               “I know you’re trying to be friendly, but cut it. Just know that we’re not your biggest threat.”  They glanced around.  “Something is happening here, something powerful.  Can’t you feel it?”

               “Feel what?  What are you talking about?”

               “You’ll figure it out eventually.  Consider yourselves warned.  We have to go.  I’ll see you around, Kirk.  And no, we can’t play one on one.  At least not now.  I don’t want to be around when you figure it out.  Plus, I don’t want to embarrass you.”

               James just stared at them.  “I- um.  Thanks?”

               “See you around.”

               The RFs spun around, in sync and fabulous, as Space Jam began to play again.  They walked back to the Aztec and climbed in, and drove off into the distance.

               “Well,” said Charlie.  “That was cryptic.”

               “No kidding.  We better get back to-“

               On the other side of the court, where the Lions stood, Cas was standing frozen with shock as Dean yelled.

               “I didn’t mean to- I’m not- no homo oh my god what is going on oh my god…”

               James ran over to Dean and Cas, stepping in between them.  “What the hell is going on?!”

               Chekov leaned over to James and whispered, “Dean just kissed Cas.”

               “Wait that’s it?”

               “I’m straight!” shouted Dean.

               “Me too!” said Cas.

               Charlie rolled her eyes and James put his head in his hands.

               “Alright, funs over,” said James.  “Charlie, grab Dean, I’ve got Cas.  Everyone else go home.”

               “Dean’s our ride,” said Sam.

               “Ok, then stay, whatever.  Cas follow me.”  James led Cas away and out of earshot.  Charlie figured she’d better do the same with Dean.

               “Ok, what’s going on?” she asked.

               “I’m straight,” Dean responded.

               “Yeah clearly.  Now really.  What happened?”

               Dean hesitated for a moment before saying, “I don’t know.  It just kinda happened.  First we were talking and then we were… not talking.”

               “Do you like him?”

               “No!”

               “Then why else would you do that?”

               “I- I’m not sure.”

               “You know there’s nothing wrong with being gay or bi or pan or anything else, right?”

               “Of course I know that.”

               “You don’t act like it.”

               “Well that’s because… it’s because I- I’m just… not sure.”

               “Not sure of what?”

               Dean shrugged.  “Just, things in general.”

               “You know you can tell me anything right?  If you’re confused or whatever… I know the feeling, alright?”

               “Ok, thanks.”

               “Let’s get you home.”

***

               “You still haven’t talked to him?  It’s been three days!”

               Charlie and Cas shared their physics class together. They were doing a lab on conical pendulums and the class was hoppin’.  The teacher, Mrs. Dilbs, had hung a bunch of toys with wings from the ceiling of the classroom and they were flying around in circles.  The students were meant to figure out how fast they were flying, but no one could really be bothered to.

               “Well, yeah,” Cas said, pretending to study their toy- a pig with wings- in order to avoid looking Charlie in the eye.  “It’s not something we really want to talk about.”

               “Whether or not you want to talk about it shouldn’t matter.  Clearly it’s been making both of you upset and uncomfortable; it’s just something you’re gonna have to do.”

               “Yeah, that’ll be a fun conversation.  ‘Hey Dean, so we kissed, and it was good for me. Was it good for you?’ Oh, he’ll love that.  Could you start the timer?  I’ll count the rotations this time.”

               A minute later, Charlie stopped the timer and watched as Cas wrote some figures down in his packet.

               “Do you like him?” Charlie asked.

               “What?” Cas stood upright, the pig flying right above his head.

               “I mean, have you given it any thought? Because judging from what you said earlier…”

               Cas paused for thought as the pig kept moving. Charlie counted six rotations before Cas broke the silence.

               “I’ll talk to him after school.”


	73. Changing Dynamics Pt 4 (Basketball Team AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Luci

Cas rang the doorbell to Dean’s house, already regretting listening to Charlie. Just as he was getting ready to say “fuck it” and run away, Sam answered the door.

               “Oh man, it’s about time,” Sam said.  “Come on in.”

               Cas followed Sam into the house, not sure if he should say anything.

               “Dean’s been upstairs in his room since Saturday. He told our parents he couldn’t go to school because he’s ill, which is dumb.  Homosexuality’s not an illness.”

               “He’s gay?” Cas asked, a bit dumfounded.

               “I mean, at least a bit.  You notice things about a person when you’ve lived with and grown up with them.”

               “A bit gay?”

               “Cas, just go upstairs.  You know where his room is.  Just don’t break him or anything.  He’s bad at accepting things.”

               “Right.  Thanks.”

               Cas looked up the stairs as if they would take him into Hell.  Which was stupid, because if he was going into Hell, the stairs would be going down. But since they’re going up, they would have to lead to the exact opposite, which could be symbolic and a bit foreshadowy. But that’s up to interpretation.

               Anyways, Cas looked up the stairs as if they would take him into Hell.  Climbing up the stairs felt like he was climbing a big ass mountain.  He hoped his pounding heart and shortness of breath had to do with nerves, because the only other option was that he got winded while climbing the stairs, and he refused to accept that.

               Cas took a deep breath- to calm him, not because he was out of breath- and knocked on Dean’s bedroom door.

               “Noooo,” was the reply that came from within.

               “No?” Cas asked through the door.

               “Go away Sam, I don’t want any of your damn soup.”

               “I don’t have any soup.”

               Dean paused, as if thinking.  “You’re not Sam.”

               “Can I come in?”

               When Dean didn’t respond, Cas decided to assume that meant yes.  Cas opened the door to Dean’s room, to see Dean, cocooned in several blankets, sitting in bed and leaning against the wall, with his laptop opened on his lap and a pile of Kleenex on the floor near the bed.  The pile of Kleenex was next to the garbage can, which was full of more Kleenex.  It appeared as though Dean was watching a nature documentary on whales.

               “Are the whales making you emotional?” Cas asked in reference to the Kleenex.

               “No,” Dean answered, defensively.

               “Are you actually sick?”

               “No.  Maybe. It’s definitely nothing a doctor could fix.”

               “Well, a psychologist, maybe.  And not fix, just help you make sense of.  Because there’s nothing to fix.”

               “What?”

               “Can I sit down?”

               Dean closed his laptop, placed it on the ground, brought his legs to his chest, and gestured to the- now empty- foot of the bed. Cas took a seat, trying to pretend this wasn’t the most awkward thing he had ever done.

               Cas ran his hand through his hair.  “So… soup?”

               “Yeah. Sam keeps trying to make soup; it’s for his culinary class.  He’s not very good at it.”

               “Yeah, I could sense that.”

               “Yeah.”

               Silence permeated the room.  Dean stared at the floor.  Cas stared at Dean.  The author stared at her keyboard, unsure of how to continue because writing this made even her feel awkward.  Downstairs, Sam made soup.

               “Did you know that, before we invented submarines, our only knowledge of the ocean’s depths came from the examination of the contents of sperm whales’ stomachs?” Dean asked.

               “I didn’t know that.”

               “Neither did I.  Whales are pretty cool.”

               “They sure are.”

               More silence.

               Then, at the same time, they spoke.

               “The biggest whale-“

               “I’m gay.”

               “Wait, what?” Dean asked.

               “No, sorry.  I interrupted you,” Cas said.

               “It wasn’t anything important.”

               “Neither was what I said.”

               “Didn’t you just come out?”

               “Well, yeah.”

               “That seems pretty important to me.”

               “Thanks, Dean.”

               More silence.

               “Ok, I have one more thing to say about whales then I’m done and it’s even relevant to the topic.  Killer whales have one of the highest rate of homosexuality for any animal.  Therefore, homosexuality is natural and it makes sense that anyone could feel… homosexual… urges.  That said, I’m not gay.”

               “Dean-“

               “I’m not done.  I’ve been thinking, and, well, I’ll be gay when pigs fly.”

               Cas could help but laugh a bit at the word choice.

               “What?”

               “Nothing, sorry, go on.”

               “Ok… basically, I can’t be gay.  I still like… girls.  But I think I might also, maybe, like guys.  Is that weird?”

               “No, dude, that’s totally normal.  James is like that.”

               “So that’s alright?  To like both?”

               “You don’t have to ask my permission.  As long as you’re comfortable and you feel like that’s right, then it’s perfectly alright.”

               Dean took a deep breath and visibly relaxed.

               “So why were you learning about whales?”

               “To keep my mind off of things.”

               “Oh.  Sure. I actually did something similar a couple of weeks ago, but I tried to teach myself Russian.”

               “Is that when you…”

               “Yeah.  I started to realize around that start of basketball season when this girl in my math class tried to get with me.  I realized that I was not about that, like at all.”

               “What’d you do?”

               “Panic, mostly.  I tried to get my math class switched at first because I didn’t know what to say to her.”

               “After that?”

               “I just avoided her the best I could and blocked her on Facebook, which was what she was using to try to talk to me.”

               “Some people just won’t take a hint.”

               “Speaking of hints, should we talk about Saturday?”

               “Yeah, we really got our asses handed to us.”

               “We won, Dean.”

               “I didn’t feel like we won after everything was all said and done.”

               Dean paused for a moment.  He then unwrapped his multiple blankets from around himself and moved so he was sitting next to Cas.  They were both leaning against the wall, their legs barely touching.

               “Dean?”

               “Yeah Cas?”

               “You kinda smell.”

               “Wow, thanks.  That’s what I wanted to hear.”

               “Sorry, but you do.”

               “Hey, wallowing in self-pity for three days is hard work.  There isn’t exactly time to shower.”

               “Bro, gross.”

               “Hey.  I’ve smelled worse and you know it.”

***

               “Well, how’d it go?” Charlie asked the next day as she sat down for physics.  She could tell, just from being near him for a few seconds, that it must have gone at least a little bit well.

               “Well, the first thing you should know is that I’m gay.  Also, whales have homosexual tendencies, and so does Dean.”

               “Whales?”

               “Killer whales, specifically.  But he’s feeling better, I made sure of that.”

               “Oh really now?”

               “We’re not dating.  We just exchanged, what did Twitter call it, brojobs.”

               “Ok, I want to be excited for you but I can’t when you say brojobs.”

               “Anyways, Deans back in school today, Sam got an A on his soup project, and we have a basketball game on Friday everyone is underprepared for.  Also, we have to finish calculating this data from the lab yesterday.”

               “Sounds like it’s been a wild week.”

               “And it’s only first hour on Wednesday.”

***

               From there, the day just got wilder and gayer for Charlie, and Arwen wasn’t even in school that day, so for once the gay wasn’t coming from her.

               In her second hour Spanish class, they were playing a game with fly swatters and the goal was to beat the other person to hitting the correct translation of the given English word.  Kevin and Harry were up, and words weren’t the only things getting swatted.

               Kevin beat Harry to the word, then said “Sorry bro, looks like you gotta sit down,” then hit Harry, hard, in the ass with the fly swatter.

               The only thing Harry said in response was “Bro,” but like in the same way you’d hear someone say “babe” to their partner if the swatter was a hand and they were somewhere sexier than a third year Spanish class.

               While walking to her third hour, Troy was walking in front of Charlie.  Suddenly, Chad ran up from behind and said “Hey bro,” then grabbed Troy’s hand.  He turned to look at Charlie and said, “You got a problem or something?”

               “No not at all,” said Charlie.

               Chad nodded then grabbed Troy’s ass, then put his arm around his waist, all well still looking Charlie in the eye.  She turned down the next hallway, even though she then had to go out of her way to get away.

               On her way to lunch, Chekov, Spock, and McCoy were walking in the opposite direction of Charlie, when she witnessed yet another gay moment, or a gamoment.

               McCoy was speaking, “Bro, what, it’s like you like to suck cock or something.”

               “You know it,” said Chekov.  He did a little skip then slapped Spock on the ass.

               “Bro?” asked Spock.

***        

               Charlie was incredibly relieved to sit down at lunch, where there were no basketball players at her table to slap any other basketball player’s ass.

               “Ok, I’m serious this time,” Charlie said as she sat down.  “You guys must have noticed something about the basketball team lately.”

               “Are you still on about them acting weird?” said JJ. “Because I seriously haven’t noticed.”

               “What about you Jo?  You’re in my Spanish class.  Did you notice what Kevin and Harry did?”

               “I haven’t paid attention in Spanish since freshmen year,” said Jo.

               “I’m confused,” said JJ.  “Aren’t they all, you know,” she made a motion with her arm like she was throwing a basketball, “straight?”

               “Seriously?  This is ridiculous.  Never have I witnessed so much gay in one day.  And I went to Pride over summer break.”

               “How was Pride not gayer?” Ezri asked.

               “If you had seen and heard the things I have today, you’d understand.”

               “Nothing to do with Sam, right?”

               “No, I actually haven’t seen him, Colin, Steve, Nathan, or Zach today.  Everyone else though…”


	74. Changing Dynamics Pt 5 (Basketball Team AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Luci

##  [Changing Dynamics Pt 5 (Basketball Team AU)](http://au-universes.tumblr.com/post/151118490832/changing-dynamics-pt-5-basketball-team-au)

That wasn’t the end of the gay moments for Charlie.  As she was walking out of the lunch room, she saw Kevin and Harry walking together.  And I mean _together._ Kevin had his arms wrapped around Harry’s waist and was resting his head on his shoulder.  Charlie saw them, and, unfortunately, made eye contact with Kevin, who froze up and immediately released Harry, which she felt bad about.

               Throughout the week, it didn’t get any less gay.  In fact, Charlie was concerned for the team. They were so distracted and caught up in each other, she wasn’t sure how the game on Friday was going to go.

               As it turned out, the game went perfectly. The team was so in sync with each other, there was no way the other team stood a chance.  The Lions won by nearly 30 points.  The opposing team was utterly defeated, and the Lions had never felt more alive.

               But that’s when everything started to go wrong. While the team was still celebrating and the student section was still partying, the lights in the gym started to flicker.  The rain outside seemed to grow louder as the lights went out and the darkness surrounded them.  Silence, then hushed whispers, filled the gym.

               The doors to the gym suddenly burst open.  Fog started to roll into the gym.  A group of people walked in, wearing faded gray basketball jerseys, which were the same design as the team’s jerseys, just more beat up looking.

               Dean didn’t recognize any of the team members. The one in front was elderly; he had a long white beard and long white hair to match.  In one hand he carried a basketball, and in the other he carried a staff.  Something about him screamed “wizard” for some reason.

               The rest of the team looked about the same. They all gave off the vibe of being magical in some manner, which was terrifying, yet confusing.

               The one with the staff spoke first.  “James Kirk,” was all he said.

               James stepped out of the crowd and towards the man, the rest of his team following closely behind him.  “Who are you?” James demanded.

               “The name’s Saruman, and this is my team.”  He introduced the rest of the members of his team. He had with him Gandalf, Dumbledore, Merlin, Tim Bombadil, Lucius Malfoy, Jafar, Oz, Voldemort, Glinda the Good Witch, The White Witch, Hecate, The Wicked Witch of the West, Ursula, and- the most feared of them all- Shaun from the Motor Inn.

               James just shrugged.  “Is that supposed to mean something to me?”

               “I suppose it wouldn’t,” said Saruman.  “But it should.  You might better know us as the last team from this high school to win five consecutive championships. At the moment, you’re on your way to winning your sixth, and we refuse to have anyone beat our record.”

               “There isn’t really anything you can do about that, though.  No offensive, but you all look way past your basketball prime.”

               “Well that’s not entirely true, it is true that, if we were to play you right now, we would most likely lose.  Which is why we came up with a different, even more brilliant plan.  Surly at least one of you must have noticed the changing dynamic of your team?”

               After a moment of silence, Dean spoke up. “Honestly what the fuck are you on about?”

               “I needed a way to mess with all of you that wasn’t just beating the shit out of you in a basketball game.  So I decided to use my magic to turn you into what you hate most: The Gays!  That way you would be so distracted and distressed, you would forget all about basketball.”

               “When did we say he hate gay people?” James asked.

               Saruman looked genuinely confused at this.  “You’re all always on about ‘no homo’ and calling things gay as an insult.  You gave off a pretty strong homophobic vibe.”

               “Alright, hold the fuck up old man,” said Dean. “Didn’t it even occur to you that the reason we say ‘no homo’ so much is because some of us were just hiding our insecurities?  Let me tell you, I’ve had one hell of a week for self-discoveries, so let me tell you what I realized.  I don’t like when people say ‘oh haha that’s gay’ like it’s an insult, cause it’s not. I don’t like wearing Nike all the time and trying to fit perfectly into the ‘Fuckboy’ stereotype.  Nike is expensive and overrated anyways.”

               “I don’t know if I’d say that,” Sam muttered.

               “What I’ve come to realize this week,” Dean continued, “Is that I’m not happy wearing this mask of masculinity.  I realized I was doing it so I didn’t have to face who I really am.  But I’m sick of hiding and I’m sick of the bullshit!  I want to be free to live my life as free and as gay as I please, as should everyone else who has ever fallen into this dilemma.  No one should have to live in fear of the ridicule that will follow them as they come out and come closer to being who they want to be. Something I have been thinking about lately is how, when we were all younger, we didn’t act like walking stereotypes; we were free to act as unique as we pleased.  I say we go back to when being unapologetically ourselves was what was cool, not just basketball and shitty rap.  The only rap I like anyways is Nicki Minaj.”

               “So let me get this straight,” Saruman said when he saw that Dean was slowing down.  “You’re saying behind every stereotypical Fuckboy, is a gay soul.”

               “No, what I’m saying is that everyone should be free to be themselves.  Whether that has to do with doing what they love or being with who they love, people shouldn’t have to hide behind the masks that society hands out.  And I’d like to correct something you’ve said.  I’m not gay.  I’ve decided that I’m bi.  And James has been out as pan for quite some time.  Cas is gay; Sam is straight.  We may all be fuckboys, but that’s not what determines our sexuality.”

               “That’s too much- you kids and your labels.  Back when I was in high school, we didn’t have any of that rubbish.  You were straight, or you were gay and hidden- the way it’s supposed to be.”

               “Well guess what old man?  You’re gonna die soon, and times are changing, and there’s nothing you can do to stop it.  You didn’t even succeed in messing with us.  In fact, you just made us more comfortable with who we are. So for that, I’d like to thank you.  But the reality is, we’re gonna keep playing basketball, and were gonna make it gay as hell. You can’t stop that changing times, so suck it up and live with it.  Now get off our court.”

***

               The team won, so naturally they went to Denny’s after the whole incident with Saruman was sorted out.

               “What a dumb fucking plan,” Dean said to Cas. “He’s a wizard, why didn’t he just kill us or something?”

               “I’m glad he didn’t do that,” said Cas.  “If he did, I wouldn’t have gotten to spend as much time with you.”

               “Bro,” Dean said affectionately, then leaned in to kiss Cas.

               “I told you!” Charlie was saying to Ezri. “I knew something weird was up.”

               “I mean, all that would have probably happened eventually anyways, with or without Saruman’s help,” Ezri said, poking her pancakes with her fork.

               “Yeah, but only magic could have been powerful enough to break through those idiot’s heads.”

               In the end, all that was to be gay became gay. James and Steve eventually discovered that they had both had raging crushes on each other since freshmen year, and from that moment on Charlie was convinced they spent more time connected at the lips then sleeping.  Kevin eventually worked up enough nerve to ask Harry out, to the relief of everyone who was sick of watching their mutual pining.  Troy and Chad eventually told everyone they had been dating for a few months, but didn’t tell anyone out of fear of what people would say.  As it turned out, they only thing people had to say was kind words, much to their relief.  Spock and McCoy started dating, and soon afterwards, they started both started to date Chekov, as well.  Zach and Nathan started to get closer, but no one wanted to ask them about it, since they were still so shy around each other.  Sam and Ezri’s relationship was as strong as ever, as was Charlie and Arwen’s. Kaia and Colin were another story all together.

               With the team as close and as strong as ever, they easily went on to win the championship.  As they held up their trophy, the world around them faded to black, and the team found themselves plucked out of one world and into the next.


	75. Do Wa Wa Doo Doooo (Musical AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Father

1977

               Steve put on his favorite Star Wars t-shirt and finished his outfit with a fedora. He was lookin’ hella fly, ready to take to the streets.

               Steve’s two friends, Kevin and Harry, were over his house helping him sneak out.

               “Are you sure you’re ready to do this?” asked Harry. Harry was such a worry wort.

               “Yes. I’m gonna go in there and win his heart,” said Steve.

               “Take this record,” said Kevin, handing Steve a Yvonne Elliman record. “Give it to the DJ and burn that place down bitch!”

               “Thanks guys,” said Steve. “Okay, how do I look?”

               “You look like one fly motherfucker,” said Kevin, snapping his fingers.

               The boys helped Steve out of the window and Steve climbed down the fire escape and down onto the street, the record under his arm. The streets were dark and cold, but Steve knew it would be warm where he was going. The song* Best Disco in Town, by the Ritchie Family, was playing. As soon as he rounded the corner, he saw it: The Cocktail Lounge. The best disco club in the town. And tonight, it was hoppin. Steve got in with little hassle at the door.

               Inside, the lights were flashing, the disco ball was spinning, and people crowded the dance floor, laying down some cool moves. Steve looked at the people dancing trying to find who he was looking for. He spotted Paris, the owner of the club, dancing with a guy and a girl, both smokin hot. He saw a few other people that he couldn’t remember the names of cuz the narrator is tired and didn’t bother making a list of characters. The song, Heaven Must Be Missing An Angel, by Tavares, was playing, the beat, pounding to the rhythm of Steve’s heart.

               Then, he saw him, and everything else disappeared around him. Jimmy Kirk, aka Capn’ Kirk, the hottest guy on the dance floor. The man that Steve was here for.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dean leaves his boyfriend’s side and sidles off the dancefloor. He watches the dancers and tries to pick out potential winners for the dance contest later. But Dean knows that Paris always wins, so there’s no point. Dean wanders to the back of the club, near the backdoor. Just as he rounds the corner, he runs right into someone. They both apologize but when Dean looks up, he stops and his mouth falls open. Standing before him is a man with the bluest eyes he’s ever seen. It takes him a moment, but eventually, Dean recognizes that this is the most beautiful man he’s ever seen in his life.

               “Are you okay?” the man asks.

               “Yeah, I’m fine,” said Dean. “Who are you? Only Paris’s people are allowed through this door.”

               “I’m the new runner. My name is Castiel,” said Castiel. “But you can call me Cas.”

               “I’m Dean,” Dean shook his hand. Cas then walked past him and approached Paris on the dance floor. Dean stared after him in awe, an idea forming in his head. He was going to win the dance contest with that man tonight.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               Steve walked right up to the DJ and handed him the record.

               “Hey, what you got?” asked the DJ, taking the record from him. “Yvonne? Okay man, whatever.”

               Steve thanked the kind man and went to the dance floor, approaching Jimmy Kirk just as the song*, If I Can’t Have You, started playing. Steve sang the first note of the song, “Don’t know why, I’m surviving every lonely day…” He took Jimmy’s hand and asked him for the dance. The dancefloor cleared and they started dancing, Steve singing and Jimmy soon joining in the song.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               Dean made his decision on the spot. As soon as that song started playing and that couple started dancing, he walked right up to Cas and asked him for the dance. The floor cleared for them and the other couple. But all Dean could see was the man in front of him, dancing with him.

               “If I can’t have you, I don’t want nobody baby!” Cas sang. Soon, they were singing together, burning up that dancefloor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               “If I can’t have you, I don’t want nobody baby!” Steve and Jimmy sang in perfect harmony. Steve wanted to win the dance competition but there was another couple on the dancefloor, tearing it up. Jimmy didn’t seem to notice the other couple, because he took the lead and brought Steve into a few spins…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               Dean spun and twirled across the dancefloor. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a familiar yellow shirt, but dismissed it just as quickly as it came. Dean and Cas were singing the song in harmony, probably wowing the crowd with their dancing skills.

               “Am I strong enough to see it through, go crazy is what I will do…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               “My life would end, and it doesn’t matter how I cry, my tears of love are a waste of time if I turn away…”

               Steve flew across the floor with Jimmy. Jimmy looked starstruck to anyone watching, and Steve only saw him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               The song was ending, and Dean knew it. He put Cas into a few more spins and turns and dipped him low as the song ended.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               The song ended and Jimmy put Steve into a low dip. He could hear everyone cheering. Above him, Jimmy froze in shock. Across from him, was his boyfriend, Dean, also holding someone in a dip. They both lifted their partners and Steve looked between the two men who looked horrified. Uh oh, Steve thought as he backed away from the scene. This wasn’t good. If he had known Jimmy was taken, he wouldn’t have come in there tonight.

               “And the winner is,” the DJ announced. “Paris!”

               The crowd clapped. Steve didn’t remember seeing Paris even dancing in the contest. But what Steve did know, was that he didn’t want to be a part of what was about to go down. He slowly backed up and snuck out of the club before anyone noticed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               “Look, that was a mistake,” explained Dean. He was in the back of the club with Cas. “We shouldn’t have danced.”

               “It looked like your boyfriend was enjoying his own dance just as much though,” said Cas.

               Dean looked down at his fidgeting hands and chewed at his lip. He knew his relationship with Jimmy was not very good. He knew Cas was right, they were both to blame. Dean made a decision.

               “We should meet,” said Dean. “In a week from now, at this same time, in the park behind the graveyard.”

               “I’ll be there,” Cas said with a wink.

               “But don’t tell anyone,” said Dean.

               “You got it hot stuff.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               “Oh my god, no fucking waaayyy!!” Kevin drawled and laughed. “That’s so funny! He already had a boyfriend, Jesus, Steve, only you would make a mistake like that.”

               They were all hanging out in Steve’s bedroom, sitting on his floor having a sleepover.

               “But that’s not the best part,” said Steve. “The best part is, his boyfriend, Dean, ya know Dean Winchester, was also dancing with someone and was totally being wooed.”

               Kevin and Harry burst out laughing. Steve chuckled along with them. Even though he was a little bit heartbroken that the night hadn’t worked out, he was still determined to get Jimmy.

               “Okay, you have to get another chance with him!” said Kevin. “We gotta go out and find him.”

               “I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” said Harry. “Doesn’t he work for Paris?”

               “So?” said Kevin.

               “Well, Paris is the biggest drug lord in the city!” said Harry. “The Rhythm Fusion gang is huge and dangerous, there’s no way we should be messing with that!”

               “Oh, don’t be silly!” Kevin said, lightly swatting Harry’s arm. Nothing’s gonna happen. Steve went into Paris’s club and nothing happened. We’ll be fine.”

               “But how would we even find him?” asked Steve.

               “Harry knows someone…” said Kevin, looking to his boyfriend with puppy dog eyes.

               “No way, I haven’t been in contact with her in years,” said Harry. “She probably doesn’t even remember me.”

               “Let’s go, tomorrow,” said Kevin, a huge smile on his face.

               “Okay, yeah let’s do it,” said Steve. They laughed when Harry groaned and rolled his eyes, begrudgingly agreeing to do it.

               Later that night, after Kevin and Harry were both asleep, Steve climbed out of his window and stood on the fire escape, looking out at the city. He thought about the evening, at the club, dancing with Jimmy, the thrill of the song they sang together. And he thought about leaving, his heart breaking the further he got from the Cocktail Lounge.

               Steve started humming a tune…the tune of *Don’t Leave Me This Way, by Thelma Houston. A beat came in and Steve started singing.

               “Don’t…leave me this way,

               I can’t survive, I can’t stay alive,

               Without your love…Oh baby

               Don’t leave me way,

               I can’t exist, I’ll surely miss, your tender kiss

               Don’t leave me this waaayy…”

               The beat picked up and Steve stood up, his hair blowing in the wind.

               “Baby! My heart is full of love and desire for you!

               Now com’on down and do what you gotta do!

               You started this fire down in my soul,

               Now can’t you see it burning outta control,

               Come on, satisfy the need in me…

               Cause only your good lovin’ can set me free!”

               “Set me free, set me free, set me free!” sang the choir, which was Kevin and Harry, sticking their heads out the window. Steve climbed up the fire escape and hung of the side.

               “Don’t, don’t you leave me this way, no

               Don’t you understand I’m at your command

               Oh baby please, please, don’t leave me this way

               No baby…

               Don’t leave me this way, no

               I can’t survive, I can’t stay alive without your love,

               Baby, don’t leave me this way…”

               Steve sang to the heavens, to Jimmy, to his heart, hoping that if there’s a god out there, they would hear this.


	76. Do Wa Wa Doo Doooo Pt 2 (Musical AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Father

   The next day, Dean went to his brother’s house. Dean was sitting across from Sam and Ezri, Sam’s fiancé, telling them about last night.

               “So what are you and Jimmy gonna do?” asked Sam. “Are you guys gonna break up?”

               “I don’t know,” said Dean, shrugging sadly. He looked off into the distance and said, “All I know, is that I want to see Cas again. He’s all I can think about. It’s like…it’s like I have a hangover from last light…but I don’t want it to go away.”

               Dean stood up as a beat started playing softly in the background. The beat of *Love Hangover, by Diana Ross.

               “If there’s a cure for this,

               I don’t want it

               Don’t want it

               If there’s a remedy

               I’ll run from it

               From it

               Think about it all the time

               Never let it out of my mind

               Cause I love you

               I got the sweetest hangover

               I don’t wanna get over

               Sweetest hangover

               Yeah I don’t wanna get over

               I don’t wanna get

               I don’t wanna get…over…”

               Sam and Ezri got up and joined in the song as the backup singers. The song faded and the beat picked up. Dean got up on the coffee table and sang, thinking about Cas, thinking about their dance and how they glided across the floor, everything around them nonexistent.

               “Ooh, I don’t need no cure

               I don’t need no cure

               I don’t need no cure”

               And then the beat picked up and they danced, and Dean sang…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               Steve, Harry, and Kevin were out on the streets, going deep into the dangerous parts of the city. Steve wasn’t really worried, because he went to these parts all the time. That’s where the best discos were. Harry was taking them to meet someone who apparently worked for Paris and the Rhythm Fusions. He went around to the back of a building and grabbed a rope that was hanging from the top of the building. He pulled the rope and a little bell rang up there. It took a moment, but eventually, someone peeked their head out of the window by the bell. It was a girl with long, platinum blonde hair. She looked around for a moment before her eyes landed on the three of them down on the ground. She smiled and said, “Harry! Long time no see! Come on up!”

               She disappeared and the three of them went into the building and up the stairs. The building was abandoned except for the top floor, which was decorated with beaded curtains and fairy lights. When Steve stepped through the curtain, his breath was taken away. The floor was laden with rugs, there were bongs and lava lamps and hookahs on every surface, fairly lights were strung across the rafters and there were plants everywhere. Flowers growing out of beer cans, tomato plants spilling from milk cartons, succulents filling the open drawers of a dresser. Everywhere Steve looked, there were plants.

               “Harry, it is so good to see you!” said the girl who invited us up. She was standing in the middle of the room, looking at them shyly.

               “It’s good to see you too, Luna,” said Harry. “Guys, this is Luna Lovegood, an old friend of mine. Luna, this is my boyfriend, Kevin, and our friend, Steve.”

               “It’s wonderful to meet all of you,” she said. “Please, come in, make yourselves at home.”

               They came in and looked around some more. Lounging on one of the couches was a boy with red hair and glasses, smoking a hookah.

               “Guys, this is Matt,” said Luna. “He is a very good friend of mine.”

               Matt waved a hand in greeting to them and continued lounging.

               “So what brings you here Harry?” she asked.

               “We’re looking for a way to find a man by the name of Jimmy Kirk,” said Harry. “We hear that he works for Paris.”

               “Oh yes, I know Jimmy. Me and Matt both work for Paris as well!” she said. “Matt here is part of Paris’s inner circle.”

               Matt nodded in confirmation.

               “I can tell you where to find him,” said Matt. “You have to go two blocks down from here, there’s a building. One side is crumbled, one side is still intact. Go to the intact half and go through the green door. He’s in there.”

               “Yes, that’s where Paris lives. You’ll find him there most likely,” said Luna.

               Harry looked apprehensive, but Steve was more than ready to go. He just wanted to see Jimmy again.

               “Thank you Luna, Matt,” said Steve. “We’ll be on our way then.”

               Harry said his goodbyes and he and Kevin followed Steve out the door.

               The trio left Luna’s hideout and made their way to the building she described. They walked all the way around the building before they found the green door. When they went inside, Steve noticed that Harry looked especially scared. They wandered further into the building, no sign of life so far. Then, when they got to a big room, they stopped. There was no light in the room.

               All of a sudden, the lights turned on and the trio was surrounded by people. People with weapons. Gace, the one with fabulous hair, was holding a baseball bat. Kara was in a leather jacket, brandishing and switch blade. Ashley was holding a machete. A chain was hanging from the hands of Colleen. Kaia had a shotgun over her shoulder. There was a boy standing behind Kaia with a hatchet in his hand. There was another guy in the group with dark hair, sharp eyebrows, and pointed ears. He was holding a gun that looked like something out of Star Trek.

               Steve looked at all of them, fear in his eyes. They regarded him with cold stares.

               “Well, well, well,” said Ashley, stepping forward. “What do we have here? Three little lost puppies trying to find their way home?”

               “We’re here to see Jimmy Kirk,” said Steve, gathering up all of his courage.

               “Jimmy, huh?” said Ashley. “What makes you think Jimmy wants to see you?”

               “Should we do the pit?” asked Kaia.

               “Not yet,” said Ashley. “That’s only for special occasions.”

               Steve wondered fearfully what “the pit” could be. Ashley stepped up to Steve and continued talking, waving her machete around carelessly. “See, what I see here, are three puppies who wandered into the wrong place. And when you wander into the wrong place, you’re gonna get punished. The thing is, fellas, No one is supposed to know about this hideout. Especially not some dweebs who look like they just wandered out of a science fair.”

               “What she’s saying is, we’re gonna have to kill you,” said Kaia, the boy behind her snickering.

               “Can we please do the pit?” said the boy behind Kaia, seemingly unable to control his excitement.

               “Colin, what did I say about speaking out of turn?” she said, closing her eyes and pinching the bridge of her nose.

               “Sorry, Kaia, it won’t happen again,” he said, putting his head down.

               “Anyway, yeah, what Kaia said,” Ashley said. “We have to kill you now.”

               Everyone advanced on Steve, Harry, and Kevin and a brief scuffle broke out.

               “What the hell is going on here?!” a voice boomed. Everyone stopped and turned. There, at the other side of the room, was Paris, with Jimmy standing to the side. “Who are these fools?”

               “Paris! You’re here!” said Ashley. “These guys got into the building somehow and we were just about to kill them.”

               “What did I say just yesterday?” said Paris. “I said no killing people in the home base. I don’t want blood in my carpet. That shit is impossible to get out.”

               “Wait, guys, back off, I know him,” said Jimmy, stepping forward. Steve locked eyes with Jimmy and something passed between them. Something magical.

               Arguments broke out through the gang, but all Steve was focused on was Jimmy’s stare. Jimmy pushed through the chaos and stepped close to Steve.

               “You and your friends should leave before Paris’s mind is changed,” Jimmy whispered in Steve’s ear. “Next week, Friday, Meet me in the old recreation building at sundown.”

               Steve’s heart stuttered as Jimmy pulled away. Steve forced himself to snap out of his trance and he grabbed his friend’s arms.

               “C’mon, we gotta go,” said Steve.

               “But what about Kirk?” asked Kevin.

               “I’ll tell you later, let’s go,” said Steve. Steve, Kevin, and Harry ran out of the building. Behind them, Ashley saw them getting away and shouted, “Hey! Their getting away!”

               “Let them leave,” said Paris.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               Dean was leaning against a tree in the park. The sun was just beginning to set and Cas still hadn’t arrived. He supposed he should be glad. He shouldn’t be meeting Cas like this to begin with. But before he could think too much about it, he saw Cas, walking towards him in the evening light.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               Steve was sitting in the building, his feet dangling over the edge of the empty pool. The windows behind him were all broken out and the pool had debris and garbage laying at the bottom. He knew he shouldn’t be doing this. Jimmy was a taken man. This wasn’t right. But the sun was beginning to set and Steve wasn’t leaving.

               A few minutes later, Steve saw him. Jimmy was walking towards him around the pool.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               “Cas,” Dean said. “You came.”

               “Of course,” he said. “I needed to see you again.”

               Dean’s face fell and he turned away. “This isn’t right. We shouldn’t be doing this. I don’t know what I was thinking. I should go.”

               He turned, ready to leave, but then Cas grabbed his wrist. “Dean, wait.”

               As Dean turned around, a groovy riff off of a base began playing. He looked into Cas’s eyes.

               “Love’s fever comin’ on strong

               I don’t want the fire without the flame, no

               Mother Nature gave me two hands to hold you

               I’m not talkin’ pressure or material gains.”

               Dean let Cas pull him into him and sang, “M-O-N-E-Y never did a thing for L-O-V-I-N,

               I’ll never understand what people’s heads are in, oh,

               Ask me what I need…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

               “I need your lovin’!” Steve sang, grabbing Jimmy’s hand and pulling him flush against him. “And that’s the bottom line, I need your lovin’, just a little time…”

               “I need your lovin’

               And that’s the bottom line

               I need your lovin’

               Just a little time, this will do…” Jimmy joined in.

               “Just a little lovin’, this will do,”

               “Just a little love”

               “Just a little lovin’, this will do”

               “La-la-la-la!”

               “Just a little lovin’, this will do”

               “L-O-V-E, love”

               “Just a little lovin’, this will do…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               “Love’s karma, so glad your mine” Dean sang.

               “Don’t want your rhythm without your rhyme, no…”

               “Easy feelings, ooh, your love keeps getting better”

               “Say you’ll leave me never and together we’ll fly.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               The song was coming to an end and Steve was so close to Jimmy. Steve’s heart fluttered in his chest when he noticed that Jimmy’s face was only centimeters from his own. All of his doubts from earlier about meeting here were gone. All he could think about was the proximity with this man.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               Dean was flush against Cas by the time the song ended. They sang the last note together. Their faces were so close. Dean was sure they were going to kiss.

               But then, he remembered Jimmy. He wasn’t supposed to be doing this. He was a taken man. He couldn’t have Cas. He pulled away regretfully, not wanting to see the hurt in Cas’s face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               “I shouldn’t be here,” said Jimmy, turning away from Steve. “I have a boyfriend. This isn’t right.”

               Steve touched his face, but Jimmy wouldn’t look at him. “When will I be able to see you again?”

               “Never,” said Jimmy, a single tear rolling down his face. Then Jimmy extracted himself from Steve’s embrace and walked away, not looking back. Steve fell to his knees and let his tears fall.


	77. Do Wa Wa Doo Doooo Pt 3 (Musical AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Father

A week later, Jimmy was in the Cocktail Lounge, sitting in an alcove in the back with Paris and the gang. Paris was passing a joint around the circle, laughing at something Ashley was saying. Suddenly, Paris turned to Jimmy, snapping him out of his thoughts.

               “How are you doing?” asked Paris. “You still with that Dean guy?”

               “No,” he said. “We broke up last night.”

               “Really?” said Paris, blinking in surprise. “What happened?”

               “I don’t know,” said Jimmy, shrugging. “It just wasn’t working out.”

               “Shame,” said Paris, pausing to take a long drag from the joint. “You two looked good together.”

               Just then, the bead curtain parted and a guy walked in. The man had long, white hair and a long white beard. He had sharp eyes and walked with a staff.

               “Which one of you is the owner of this establishment?” he asked in a low, rumbling voice.

               “That would be me,” said Paris. “Who let you in, grandpa?”                                            

               “My name is Saruman,” said the man. “I would like to discuss with you about buying this land. See, I would like to build an apartment building here. Something more useful than a silly dance club.”

               Paris sat up and said, “No way old man. You ain’t gettin’ this club while I’m still alive. You’ll have to pry it out of my cold dead hands.”

               The man scoffed and walked out. As he was turning, he mumbled something that Jimmy could have sworn was, “That can be arranged.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               Steve was in the Cocktail Lounge a week after his encounter with Jimmy at the recreation building. He was still sad about that, so he didn’t know why he was there, at the club where Jimmy worked. Maybe he was hoping to see Jimmy again. Maybe he was hoping that Jimmy would see him and come dance with him. He didn’t know, but he kept his eye out nonetheless for that handsome beast.

               What Steve didn’t expect was to be approached by someone else. Someone he didn’t recognize. The man was tall with long white hair and a matching beard. He walked with a staff.

               “I couldn’t help but notice your dancing out on the floor,” the man said. “Perhaps I can join you in this next dance?”

               Steve blinked in surprise, but then agreed to go. Steve danced with the man and soon, he got lost in the music and the feeling of another body against his. For the rest of the night, Steve and this mystery man got lost in a haze of smoke and coke. Steve didn’t even think about Jimmy.

               All too soon, Steve was being led outside and into a fancy Cadillac with red velvet seats and a chandelier hanging from the ceiling in the back seat. The mystery man, Steve had taken to calling him Silver Fox, was driving them somewhere. They eventually pulled up to a huge house up on a hill. Inside the house, Steve was amazed at how big and spacious it was. They went upstairs and Steve’s attention was split between the house and the silver fox who was slowly undressing them both. Before Steve knew what was happening, he was thrown onto the leopard print silk sheets of a circular bed. He noticed there were mirrors covering the ceiling, but a face came across his vision. Steve was lost in the rhythm and pleasure of what came next. He didn’t want it to stop, but he knew, somewhere deep in his mind, that this wasn’t right. But then, he thought, I could use this, to make Jimmy jealous. Yes, that was a good plan. He let the silver fox take good care of him.

               Later that night, Steve was sobered up a bit and Silver Fox had brought them glasses of wine. Steve was standing in front of the huge window wall, looking out at the city.

               “What a view,” said Steve, taking a sip of his wine. “How did you manage this? Isn’t there a building just over there?”

               “Yes, very observant of you,” said Silver Fox, sliding up to his side. “You see, I bought the air space above that building so that they can never build any higher and obstruct my view.”

               “That’s so smart,” said Steve. He sipped his wine.

               A little bit of wine sloshed out of Steve glass and onto the carpet.

               “Oh, I’m so sorry,” said Steve.

               “Not to worry,” said Silver Fox. “Here let me…”

               Silver Fox bent down to dab at the spot on the carpet with a towel, but the spot grew larger. It kept getting larger until it consumed the entire room and Steve was brought through a portal into a different world.

               …except…was it a different world? Steve was still holding the glass of wine and Silver Fox was still dabbing at the carpet. But the carpet was no longer orange shag carpet. It was beige. And the wallpaper was different too. The bed was covered in sheets that were slightly classier but still pretty gross. Steve walked over to the bedside table where there was a newspaper. He looked at the date on top. The date was 1987.

               Then Steve remembered Jimmy. How was he going to make him jealous? What exactly was his plan for that again? He couldn’t remember and he couldn’t think of any other outcome other than making Jimmy mad. God, what was he thinking?!

               He said a hasty goodbye to Silver Fox and grabbed his clothes off the floor on his way out. He was just slipping on his Star Wars t-shirt when he got outside. He saw the Cadillac in the driveway. It had leather seats and the chandelier in the back was gone. He ran past it and made his way back to his own home.

               When he got home, he went right up to his bedroom. Soon after, he heard a knock on his door.

               “Hey Steve let us in!” said Kevin. Steve opened the door for them and let them in. “Dude you gotta tell us about last night!”

               “How did you know I went out last night?” asked Steve.

               “Cuz you weren’t at home!” said Kevin.

               “Well, I went to the club and I danced with this silver fox and then I went home with him,” said Steve. “And I just got home.”

               “Duuuuude no way!” said Kevin.

               “What about Jimmy though?” asked Harry. “I thought you were after him?”

               “I still am,” said Steve.

               “You need to go to him,” said Kevin.

               “I’m going to,” said Steve. “Tonight.”

               “What’s the plan?” asked Harry, knowing Steve always had a plan.

               “I made this,” said Steve. He went over to his Walkman and pulled out the cassette that was in it.

               “Is that a mix tape?” asked Kevin, reaching over to look at it.

               “It sure is,” said Steve. “I made this week. And now is my chance to give it to him.”

               Later that night, Steve got dressed up in his finest He-Man t-shirt and plaid pajama pants. He got in his green pinto and drove down to the Cocktail Lounge. The mix tape was in his pocket. When he got inside the club, the song *It Takes Two was playing. How fitting, Steve thought as he made his way through the crowd. He reached the back of the club where Paris was sitting with the gang. They were all passing around a joint. Jimmy was nowhere to be seen. On his way over, he saw Paris nudge Ashley and point at Steve. They all laughed. Steve squared his shoulders and approached them.

               “Is Jimmy here tonight?” he asked.

               “You the one he broke up with his boyfriend for?” asked Paris.

               Steve’s heart did a little flip. “He-he broke up with his boyfriend?”

               “Heh, yeah I guess you’re him then,” said Paris. “He’s over there. Have fun while you’re here, this place is going down in a month.”

               Steve didn’t know what Paris meant by that, but he went over to where he was directed to and saw Jimmy sitting in the corner by himself. Steve slid into the seat next to him and watched as Jimmy’s eyes widened.

               “What are you doing here?” asked Jimmy.

               “I had to give you this,” said Steve. He pulled the tape out of his pocket and handed it to Jimmy. Jimmy took it and turned it over in his hands.

               “A mixtape?” he said. He looked at Steve for a minute and then said, “I broke up with my boyfriend.”

               “I heard,” said Steve. “From Paris.”

               “Of course,” Jimmy chuckled. “C’mon, follow me.”

               He went up to the Dj and handed him the mix tape. He took it from him and they walked back to the dance floor. The song Word Up* was still playing.

               “What did Paris mean by this place is going down in a month?” asked Steve.

               “Some guy named Saruman is buying this land and he gonna put an apartment building here,” he said, looking sad. “There’s nothing we can do.”

               Steve felt of piece of him break. He had been going to this club his whole life, they couldn’t knock it down.

               “So I guess Paris also told you about my break up,” said Jimmy.

               “Yeah, what happened?” asked Steve.

               “Well, we were both in love with someone else,” said Jimmy, looking at Steve with a sultry gaze. Just then, Word Up ended and the first song from the mix tape came on. *Take My Breath Away, by Berlin, started playing. Jimmy pulled Steve out onto the dance floor and they danced. Every second, they became a little bit closer than the last.

               Watching every motion

In my foolish lover’s game

On this endless ocean

Finally lovers know no shame

Turning and returning

To some secret place inside

Watching in slow motion

As you turn around and say…

               The two of them glided across the dancefloor with ease, their bodies so close.

Watching every motion

In this foolish lover’s game

Haunted by the notion

Somewhere there’s a love in flames

Turning and returning

To some secret place inside

Watching in slow motion

As you turn my way and say

Take my breath away

Take my breath away

Take my breath away

Take my breath away

               And then finally, as the song came to a close, their lips connected, slotting together perfectly. Steve felt like there were fireworks.

               But then…

               He had an idea!!!!!!

               “Jimmy!” said Steve. “I have an idea!!”

               “What?”

               “Buy the airspace!” said Steve. “Buy the airspace above this building so that Saruman can’t put his apartments here!”

               Jimmy gaped at him for a moment before saying, “Oh my god, Cherry Pie, you’re a genius. Let’s go tell Paris!”

               Jimmy grabbed Steve’s wrist and pulled him over to where Paris was sitting. Steve told Paris his plan and Paris was so impressed that Steve immediately got a place in the gang.

               I suppose you also want to know what happened with Dean and Cas. Well, they got together too, in some kind of cheesy 80’s montage thing and they lived happily ever after. Paris bought the airspace above the Cocktail Lounge and the club was forever saved. Jimmy never found out about Steve sleeping with Saruman and the narrator realized just how bad 80’s music is compared to disco. Oh god. It’s so bad. Why did disco have to die? Disco was so good…

                But then, the airspace above the club swallowed everyone up and took them into a new world.


	78. Amish Paradise (Amish AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Professor Ashlex

   It was a bright and shiny Saturday morning as the students from the Rhythm Fusion Academy rode the bus down a dusty back street.

“No dumbass, that’s not right!”

               “What are you talking about? That’s exactly right! You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

               “Excuse you. I know how to math!”

               “Shut up Ashley, you don’t know how to math.”

Ashley took a deep breath and snapped her head in the direction of the one who disrespected her. “Hey Gacé,” and she flipped him the bird. Gacé looked back at her with intense unblinking eyes and proceeded to flip her the bird in return.

               “Oh my god! Can someone please help me with this homework!?” Steve exclaimed.

               “No Steve. You should have done that at home. It’s called HOMEwork.” Colleen spit out her words like knives and sat back down.

               “Here Steve, I got you,” Paris said, grabbing his paper and writing down the answers. “I got the answers off the internet last night.” They began to write the answers down. Steve watched and wondered why all the answers were 666 but didn’t argue. He was just happy he didn’t have to find the square root of fleek. And with that thought he looked out the window and dozed off with *The wheels on the bus playing in his head

“WHAT!?” Colleen shirked with laughter.

Steve jerked awake and looked down at his phone. _Well that was a good two minutes,_ he thought.

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah, my family used to be Amish when I was really young. That’s why we do the historical re-enactment,” Ashley said, shifting her eyes over to Gacé, queuing him to join in.

“Yeah, totally. We lived in Ohio before this,” Gacé even mustered up a single tear, “before we were shunned.”

Colleen looked to Paris with her mouth open. “Really?” Paris looked over to Ashley with a smirk on their face. “Yeah man. Ashley used to be super weird. Like when we first met she had this accent and was into looming and shit.”

“Why have I never heard this before?” Colleen said, laughing

“Well, we were shunned so we didn’t want people to know and be ridiculed.” Gacé turned around and sunk into his seat to hide his laughter, not believing how gullible Colleen could be.

“That’s so wild,” Colleen said, looking up at the sky.

The rest of the trip was spent chatting and throwing paper balls at one another.      

“All right students,” said their teacher, Miss JJ. “If you look to the right hand side, you’ll see Amish Country. Please remember not to disrespect them. Feel free to ask questions and take pictures. Okay now, pick up your garbage and anything of value and we’ll be on our way.”

All the students did as they were told and began to file off the bus. Steve was the last one off, having to put away his headphones and homework. He wasn’t thrilled about going to a place where he didn’t have technology. He almost didn’t come on the trip but thought maybe it would be good to learn about other cultures.

“Oh my God. What is that smell?” Colleen gagged, holding her nose.

“That’s the manure. Hello children, my name is Father Castiel. I will be giving you the tour of our little world. Miss JJ, thank you so much for bringing your students.”

“It was either this or a trip to the jail. This seemed better,” said Miss JJ.

“Well fantastic. Let us begin.”

All the students looked at each other as if they’d rather boil in oil. Father Castiel took them to the stables and the church. They saw where they grew the vegetables and where the children went to school.

“Now this is where you will be staying. Boys will be on the right and girls will be on the left. Please, no co-mingling. Get settled and then you may go explore. Our pot luck will be at six.”

They all watched as Father Castiel disappeared around the bend.

“Alright then. Let’s do this,” Miss JJ said, herding her students into the building.

“I can’t believe we have to stay here for a whole week! This is torture,” Colleen whined.

“Oh be quiet Colleen. It won’t be that bad. It’s gonna be nice not having technology for a week. Really get back in touch with yourself and the earth,” Kaia said, organizing her stuff so it wasn’t all in the way, unlike her classmates.

“That’s easy for you to say!” Colleen said, standing on her bed trying to send one last snapchat.

               “I’m gonna go learn how to do something. It’s better than sitting here doing nothing,” Ashley said, then looked at Paris. “Wanna go with me?”

Paris looked around at the disgustingly white walls. “Yeah, anything to get out of this creepy room. Bye guys.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

               “My hot spot doesn’t even work here! What the fuck!?”

Matt and Gacé looked at each other with annoyance written on their faces. “Steve, you know that this trip is to get away from all that right? Why did you even bring all that stuff anyway?” Gacé said sassily.

               “Well, what if I get bored?”

Gacé and Matt looked at each other and realized they wouldn’t win this one.

               “What was the point of you even coming then?” Matt said, turning to leave the room.

               “Yeah man, don’t ruin this for everyone else,” Gacé said.

Steve watched as the two boys left the room, and when they weren’t in earshot said, “Well fuck you guys.” Steve flopped down on his bed and looked up at the ceiling, thinking of ways he could make the week go by faster, or get himself sent home.

                _Clank Clank Clank_

               Steve sat up in his bed, looking around for a window.

                _Clank Clank Clank_

               There was no sign of where the noise was coming from. Steve kept hearing it echo through the room. He didn’t know why, but he had to find where that noise was coming from. Quickly, he grabbed his favorite plaid button down and off he went. He exited the house they were all staying in and looked in every direction, but the sound had stopped. _I’m outside now, might as well get to know this place,_ he thought. Steve headed out into the little town to see if he could find anything to keep him occupied for the time being. He walked for a couple minutes before he saw Ashley and Paris sitting in hand made rocking chairs sipping lemonade and chatting up the locals.

               “So you really have a laundry day? I didn’t realize it took you all day to do it.” Ashley was in awe at their life. “My laundry day is really just a lazy day.”

               “Yeah man. I throw mine in the machine and sit on the couch,” Pairs said, taking another sip of their drink.

               “Hey guys, whatcha talking about?” Steve asked as he approached the porch.

Ashley turned her head and pulled Steve down on the porch. “You have to listen to this. These are some incredible people!”

Steve sat there for a second looking thoroughly confused.

“Oh I’m sorry. Steve, this is Ezri and Sam. They were just telling us how they do their laundry.”

               “So as I was telling these two, we go out to the well and get our water,” said Ezri. “We have a bucket for soapy water to clean and one with clean water to rinse. We use our wash board to get out any stains or dirt that might be on our garments and then we hang them to dry. That’s how we usually spend our Saturday.”

Steve looked back at Ashley with a ‘that’s what you find interesting’ look.

               “That is very interesting. Thank you Ezri,” Ashley said.

               “You’re very welcome dear,” Ezri said, returning to her sewing. Moments passed before anyone talked again and when they did it was just simple questions like, how do you keep cool on hot days or what joy do you find sitting in front of a computer screen all day.

               “Dean! There you are,” said Sam. “I’ve been looking for you all day. We were supposed to start work on the fence hours ago.”

Dean walked up, hiding his eyes, with a young boy by his side.

               “Sorry Sammy. Time got away from us I guess.”

               “Yeah! Me and daddy went for a picnic with Father Castiel!” exclaimed the young boy.

               “Now that sounds lovely, Harry,” said Ezri. “Why don’t you go find Kevin and play with him?”

               “Okay Aunt Ezri!” Harry said, then ran off.

Dean looked at his hands knowing what was to come next.

               “Dean. What is the matter with you!” said Sam. “You know what will happen if you get caught. You need to be more careful.”

               “I know, I know. It’s just, ever since Sarah passed I feel comfort with the Father. And trust me, I won’t get shunned. Are you forgetting who decides who gets shunned?” Dean said with a little wink.

               “Don’t start Dean. Now come on, we’ve got work to do.” Sam kissed Ezri on the cheek and headed out with his brother.

                _Clank Clank Clank_

               There it was again. “Umm, excuse me, Ezri. What is that sound and where is it coming from?” Steve asked.

               “Oh, that’ll be Jimmy. He’s our blacksmith. He’s down the road and to the left. You can’t miss him,” Ezri said, pointing in the direction. “Is that something you’re interested in getting to know while you’re here?”

Steve thought for a second, not knowing why he had such a strong urge to know what that noise was. “Yes. That’s something I’ve been wanting to get to learn for a while now.”

Paris and Ashley both looked at each other with wide eyes, like they knew something was off.

               “Maybe you should go check it out then.” Ashley gave him a push and a little nod in the direction Ezri pointed.

               Steve nearly fell off the porch stumbling as his feet hit the ground. “Okay, okay jeez. No need to push.” He looked back to give Ashley a little glare and went on his way to find the blacksmith. As Steve walked the clanking got louder, he could smell the thick smoke billowing from the chimney. He turned the corner and- “Wow,” Steve gasped. The trees parted into a big alcove where the blacksmith shop was. The sun was shining through a gap and was spotlighting the blacksmith. Sweat dripped down his barreling chest, his muscles rippling with every swing of his hammer. Steve couldn’t help but think what the rest of him looked like if his top half looked like this. The blacksmith wiped his brow, smearing black soot across his face, not like that would make this man any less attractive.

“Well hello there!” the blacksmith said, snapping Steve out of his racy daydream. He quickly covered the front of his shorts.

               “Oh… ummm… hi,” Steve stuttered, watching the blacksmith wipe his hands off.

               “The names James Kirk. I’m the blacksmith around here,” he said, holding his hand out for Steve. “I have to say you surprised me a bit. I don’t get too many visitors with the school groups. I guess blacksmithin’ isn’t interesting enough.”

Steve gave out a laugh of nervousness and shook James’s hand.  “Well maybe they haven’t seen a good blacksmith at work, Mr. Kirk.”

               “Please, call me Jimmy,” he said with a toothy grin. Steve’s legs shuttered. Jimmy saw this and grinned to himself, but pulled away before Steve could catch on. “Now I didn’t catch your name there, son.”

               “Oh. Yeah, it’s umm… it’s…” Steve couldn’t find his words. _Oh my gosh, what was my name? Do I even have a name? I’m not a made up character in this. I’m a real boy._ Steve looked around for a moment wondering why he just thought that. What a strange thought to have. Oh no! Quick, get back to the story. “It’s Steve. My name is Steve.”

               “Well nice to meet you. So, what can I do for ya?”

               “What are you working on?” Steve said, getting closer to the project Jimmy had taken a short break from.

               “These are horse shoes. Sammy’s horse just keeps throwing them. I’m trying to find the best fit for the girl but nothing yet.” Jimmy just looked at the shoes wondering what could possibly be wrong with the first ones he made. “But anyway. Wanna see how it’s done?”

               “Yeah sure.”

               “Well then, come around here and I’ll give you the up close and personal preview.” Steve inched closer to Jimmy, trying his hardest not to touch him. “You’re not gonna want to stand there.” Jimmy grabbed Steve by the shoulders and guided him to his left side. “There. Don’t want that pretty face of yours to get blasted with sparks.” Steve could feel his heart melt at the sound of his voice. He’d never been called pretty by someone so out of his league before. Jimmy began to rear his arm back and smash down on the horse shoe he had been working on prior to the interruption. Steve couldn’t keep his eyes on the presentation or even focus on the words Jimmy was saying. All he could do was stare at Jimmy’s face, his arms, his thighs. Steve wondered what they would look like oiled and in the candle light. Jimmy’s muscles continued to ripple and sweat was trickling down his face, his chest heaving with every thrust of his arm. Steve had his lip between his teeth, sweat starting to accumulate on the palms of his hand. Steve could feel himself going into a trance, the woods started to haze over and he could see Jimmy laying seductively on a bed made of straw. Candles dripping into glass candle holders. Steve could feel the lump in his pants grow. It was a beautiful sight and-

“That’s how you make a horse shoe,” Jimmy interrupted Steve’s thoughts with a big smile on his face. Steve jolted out of his daydream looking at the horse shoe Jimmy had hoisted in the air.

               “Oh, wow. It’s so… beautiful.” Steve gazed at the horse shoe. “Could I see you make another one? I didn’t quite get that. And I didn’t get to see the beginning.” Steve was trying his best to be interested in the projects and not the hunky blacksmith standing in front of him.

               “I’ve never had someone want to stay for this long before. I sure will. But I’m done for today. If you want you can go with me to see if these shoes work for the horse, then I think you have to get back to your group for dinner.” Jimmy was gathering his things to go to Sam’s house. Steve was thinking and he couldn’t stand to be away from him tonight. “Ready to go?” Jimmy asked, starting his way down the road.

               “Yeah! I’m coming.”


	79. Amish Paradise Pt 2 (Amish AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Professor Ashlex

Steve ran up to Jimmy’s side, staying close enough to smell him but not close enough to accidently touch. Jimmy told Steve all about the village and how he loved it here. “So you were born here?” Steve asked.

               “Yeah. Almost everyone here was. The Johnsons chose this life. They had a run in with the press and decided to come here in hiding. They love it, wish they would have done it sooner,” Jimmy said, waving to the doctor passing by.

               “You mean, they lived out in the modern world and left it all behind to live here, like this?” Steve asked in wonderment. He thought about all the games he loved to play on his DS and the animes he loved to watch on his laptop. How could anyone who knew the convenience of the modern world want to live in the dark ages?

               “What do you mean ‘like this’? Sure, we’re a simple folk, but we still have fun and can do the same things you people can do. See all these houses? All built by hand, and I can tell you they are probably in better condition than your modern day skyscrapers,” Jimmy said, proudly sticking up for his town.            

               “NO no! That’s not what I mean. It’s just, I wouldn’t be able to do it. They had a lot of guts to do this. This living isn’t for the faint of heart.”

               “AHHHH!!!! OH MY GOD! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!” Right on que, Colleen came bursting out of the woods with, wait for it, a twig in her hair.

               “For God’s sake Colleen, it’s only a stick!” Kaia said, irritated. She came up behind her and pulled it out to show Colleen and threw it on the ground.

               “No boo, that was a spider crawling on me!”

               “Okay, sure it was. Come on lets go help get ready for dinner. We said we would be back like 30 minutes ago,” Kaia said, hurrying Colleen along. Steve watched them walk back for a second and saw Kaia look back, giving Steve a look like _yeah Steve, do your thing_. But before he could make too much of it, they were at the Winchesters house.

               “Hey Sammy! Where ya at? I got your shoes for ya!” Jimmy looked around the house but couldn’t see anything.

               “Who dares invade our land?!” A small voice was coming from behind them, Steve looked in all directions but couldn’t find where the voice was coming from.

               “It is I, the mighty one! I come in peace this time,” Jimmy said, showing his hands in surrender.

               “Quick Kevin! Get him.”

A little Asian boy came running out from behind a bush and began attacking Jimmy with a makeshift sword. “Ahhhh!!! I’ve got him! Harry come on. Come finish him off.”

Harry jumped from the tree he had taken shelter in, also wielding a make shift sword and a patch over his eye.

               “So matey, what’s it gonna be, the easy way, or the plank?” Harry looked like a boy who got himself into dangerous situations. He had what looked like a burn mark on the back of his hand and a scar that sort of resembled a lightning bolt.

Steve looked to see Jimmy thinking really hard about what he was gonna do. He fell in love with the fact that Jimmy was great with children. It just made his heart melt.

               “Boys, leave Mr. Kirk alone! Go play your game in the back,” Ezri shouted out the window.

               “Okay mom!” Kevin said, running around the back of the house.

               “Bye Aunt Ezri! We’ll make sure the house is protected from the bad guys in the back!” Harry said, chasing after Kevin.

               “Hi boys. My husband is out back in the field with Dean,” Ezri said, poking her head out the window.

               “Thanks Ezri. Will we be expecting your delicious homemade apple pie at the potluck tonight?” Jimmy was looking at her with hopeful eyes.

               “Of course. I’ve got two of the girls from the school group helping me out too. Can’t have too many pies, am I right?”

               “Hey Ezri? Is the pie supposed to look like this?” Ashley said, opening the oven just slightly to glance in.

               “Oh boy. I’d better get back. See you guys tonight.”

Jimmy waved good bye and walked to the field where Sam and Dean were having a serious discussion.

               “I know what you’re saying. I know it should feel wrong and be wrong but it’s not to us. It’s a beautiful thing we have. He was there for me when Sarah died, and I don’t know. I guess things just went from there. I’ll try harder not to make it so obvious, but I won’t stop seeing him.” Dean was ripping off corn from the stalk and putting it into a canvas bag.

               “Dean, I know you find comfort in him and Harry has gotten used to him being around a lot, but we can’t risk being caught now. Not when things are this close to being… Hey guys! How you two doing?” Sam said, oddly changing the subject. Steve looked at the three men super confused.

               “We’re doing just fine! I got your shoes here for ya Sam. How about we go into the barn and try them on Ol’ Betsy?” Jimmy held up a burlap sack containing the horseshoes smiling a big toothy smile.        

               “Yeah, sounds good. I’ll meet you there in a minute, I just need to finish up out here.” Sammy gave the two a wave. He waited until they were far enough away before he went back to lecturing his brother.

               Steve and Jimmy made their way to the barn in silence, walking far enough away not to touch but close enough where if they did it would look like an accident.

               “Do they always argue like that?” Steve looked to Jimmy, curiously hoping to make sense of everything here. Jimmy looked down at the ground avoiding the topic.

               “What? That back their? Nah, that’s not arguing. Everyone is a little stressed out about the fields. You know, with the drought and all.”

Steve looked at the ground and to the fields. There was no sign of a drought for miles away. He went to question him some more but was quickly interrupted by a gust of wind wafting the sweet smell of Jimmy to Steve’s nose. Steve began to daydream once again. He saw the two of them in a field under an apple tree, frolicking, rolling, being silly with each other. And just as things were about to get steamy…

               “So, do you wanna try to put on a shoe?” Jimmy asked.

Steve looked around at the new environment. Hay was scattered across the ground, the smell of horse and manure wafted through the air and light was drifting in through the windows. Steve looked around the barn stopping when he got to Jimmy. In that moment, Steve knew this is where he belonged.

               “I’d love to put a shoe on her.” Steve walked up to the horse and without even trying, looked super confused.

               “Here.” Jimmy came up from behind and placed the horse’s foot between his and Steve’s. Steve could feel his warm muscular chest on his back.

               “Now pick up the hammer. Good, good. Okay now you want to take the horse shoe and line it up with her nail.” Jimmy looked down at the shoe to see if it would fit. “Okay. So now we take the file and file down the grown out portion.” Jimmy replaced the hammer in Steve’s hand to a file. He made their hands go up and down, up and down, up and down. Steve could feel himself turning to jelly.

               “You’re doing just fine, Che… Steve.” Jimmy quickly let go of Steve’s hands and wiped them on his pants to get the sweat off them. Steve promptly came back to reality turning cherry red, feeling a feeling he had only felt 2, 3, maybe 4 times before. They both stood across from each other looking everywhere but at one another. Jimmy raised his arm to scratch his head looking guilty but thrilled at the same time. “I’m sorry. I’m all kinds of flustered today. Ya know, standing in the heat with my stove going makes me a little tired with heat exhaustion. Ummm… I’ll finish up here. I’ll see you at the pot luck though.” Jimmy turned around, giving Steve a good look at his butt while he finished putting on the shoe.

               “O-okay then. I’ll see you later.” Steve walked his way back through the field they had come from, staring at the ground wondering what went wrong.

               “Hey Steve. Jimmy teach you how to put on that shoe?” Sam asked, interrupting his thoughts.

               “What? Oh umm. Yeah. I think I got it. See you tonight.” Steve picked up the pace getting as far away from there as possible. _What was that all about?_ Steve kept asking himself this question over and over, wondering if it was something he did. He felt a warm feeling coming from his stomach but didn’t know what it was. He felt as though he had been close with this man before, and every worry went away when he was with him. But he didn’t know how that was possible, knowing he had never met him before. Steve finally made it back to his room where he found Gacé and Matt getting cleaned up for dinner.

               “You’ve been gone a while. Find anything interesting to do?” Matt belly flopped on his bed holding his head up with his hands and kicking his legs back and forth.

               “Yeah. I found the blacksmith. He was…” Steve looked out the window looking for the appropriate word. “Cool.” But cool couldn’t begin to describe it.

               “You okay man? You look like you just saw a ghost.” Gacé came around the back of Steve patting him on the back.

               “Yeah. I’m fine. I’m gonna get ready for dinner. I’ll see you guys down there.”

               “Okay, come on Matt. Let’s get going. We’ll save you a seat.”

Steve waited until they were out of sight to start crying.

               “Why can’t I figure this out!? Why do I feel this way?” Steve sat there with his face in his hands.

_Knock knock_

Steve leapt to his feet, hiding his face to wipe the tears.

               “Hey there. We’re heading out. Wanna walk down with us?” It was Ashley.

               “Oh, I-I, sorry, yeah give me a second.” Steve made himself look busy finding his best flannel pants.

               “Hey guys, go ahead. We’ll catch up. Save me a seat.”

               “Okay Ash, see you down there. Come on guys lets go,” Paris said, gesturing the rest to follow them.

               “Eww. Ashley’s alone with Steve. Good luck girl!” said Colleen.

               “Colleen, shut up. You know it’s not like that,” Kaia said, pushing Colleen in front of her.

               “Yeah. I mean you know he’s into Ji-“ Kara bought her hands to her mouth stopping the word vomit that was coming from her mouth

Steve looked back at them with a very confused look. “What was that all about?”

Ashley looked all around looking for anything to change the subject with.

               “So, that’s a nice flannel. I don’t think I’ve seen that one before.” Ashley stood there smiling, her eyes darting from wall to wall to ceiling, then finally to Steve. “I’ll wait outside for you. Hurry up. We don’t want to miss the food.” And within seconds, Ashley skipped out the door down the stairs.

~~~~~

               “So, you seem to be getting friendly with the blacksmith. What’s his name? Jack? Jacob?” Ashley asked Steve at dinner.

               “It’s Jimmy. He’s great but we had a weird moment a little bit ago.”

               “Oh?! What happened?” Ashley’s voice wavered nervously wondering what went wrong.

               “He was teaching me how to put on a horse shoe and half way through helping me he got a little flustered and practically begged me to leave.” Steve couldn’t make eye contact with Ashley. He felt too embarrassed even talking about this. “I just felt a connection between us, you know? Like we had been together in a past life of something.”

Ashley put her hand on his shoulder in an understanding way. “Or like you’ve been together in another universe?”

Steve looked over at Ashley, his eyes as wide as the moon. “Yes. Exactly. Only, I don’t think he felt it. Or he did he just didn’t want to act on it. I don’t know. I’m just so confused. And everyone is acting super weird. Even you.”

Ashley looked at Steve wanting to tell him something but the words wouldn’t come out. “Everything will fall into place Steve. You just have to trust that. Okay?”

Steve looked at her, hoping she would just give him the answers but he knew that that wasn’t possible.

“It looks like Gacé and Matt saved you a seat. See ya tonight.”

Steve watched as Ashley walked away. “How would she know this were going to be okay?” Steve mumbled to himself, taking his place next to Matt.

              “What was that?” Matt asked, taking a big bite out of his fried chicken.

            “Oh, nothing. Just having a weird day I guess.” Steve grabbed his plate and went up to the table with all the food. He wasn’t particularly hungry but knew if he didn’t eat something he would be questioned. Scooping a big spoonful of mashed potatoes on his plate he couldn’t help but feel someone staring at him. He took a deep breath, grabbed a Mt. Dew and started to head back to his seat.

               “Steve?”

Turning around, he saw Dean standing behind him rocking on his feet. “Yeah, it’s Dean, right? What’s up?” Steve asked looking at the note balled up in Dean’s fist.

               “I have something for you,” Dean said, handing Steve the note and whispering, “it’s from Jimmy. Don’t read it until you’re alone. And if anyone asks, you didn’t get this from me. _Especially_ if Sam asks.”

               “Thanks.” Steve gave Dean a friendly smile and went to go eat.

               Steve couldn’t wait to get alone so he could read the note. He only had to get through the mandatory “class” session after dinner before he could leave.

               “Okay guys. I’m just gonna ask you a few questions so the school board doesn’t think this is a wasted trip, even if this is a completely wasted trip.  I don’t care if you have a wife, Sam, you belong with me!” she took a deep breath. “So first question. Do you guys find this trip educational?” Mrs. JJ looked around at the students who were all nodding in agreement. “Okay. Have you all found something to learn or get to know better while you are here?” Mrs. JJ looked around and checked the second box on her check list. “And finally, is this a good choice in field trip for a fun and educational time? I’m not even going to look at you guys and just check yes so we can all get on with the night. Alright, you have 3 hours till lights out. If you’re not back by then you’ll be sent home. But it’s not like I’m going to do bed checks so just be back. Now leave me. I still have one more Winchester brother to check out.” Mrs. JJ left the room, in pursuit of Dean.

The students all filed out one after the other. Steve walked out last, holding his hand to his pocket, protecting the special note. He felt himself starting to sweat and his stomach started to churn. He was expecting the worst, but hoping for the best. He looked up and down the hall to make sure he was alone. Carefully he pulled out the note, and before unfolding it he held it to his heart, praying. After a few seconds of steadying his nerves, he slowly started to unfold the letter.

                                _Steve,_

_I’m sorry about earlier. I felt a feeling I haven’t felt in a long time. I felt something beautiful between us, a spark, something telling me that we are meant to be together and have been in a past life. I know it sounds crazy, especially since we have just met, but when I touched you for the first time it was as if I had known you forever. I understand if you think this sounds insane, heck I would if it wasn’t happening to me first hand. If you feel the same way I do meet me at my shop at 9 p.m. If you don’t show I’ll understand and let you be this week._

_Hope to see you soon,_

_Jimmy T. Kirk_

               Steve read and re-read the note over and over. Could this be true, was Jimmy feeling the same way Steve was? Find out next week on Starstruck: Saruman’s Curse!


	80. Amish Paradise Pt 3 (Amish AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Professor Ashlex

 Steve walked through the wooded path muttering nervously to himself. “Calm down, you’re just going to talk. Nothing is going to happen. He’s an old fashioned man. Just calm down!” As Steve was saying this, he turned the corner and saw the alcove. It looked so different at night. The moon was coming through the trees, lighting up the tiny shop perfectly. Candle light was filtering out of the little windows in the back and he could smell a sweet scent. He took a couple deep breaths and started to walk forward. Steve stood behind the place he was earlier, remembering what had happened there, taking in the sight and smell of the area.

               “I’m glad you came.” Jimmy said, standing in the doorway, holding a bouquet of freshly picked wild flowers.

               “Of course I felt the same way! I thought I was scaring you away,” Steve said, wanting to get right to the point yet still bashfully looking away.

               “Look at me, you don’t have to be ashamed. You look so amazing in this light.” Jimmy leaned in and gave Steve a long lingering kiss. The song *Open Arms by Journey started to play and the candles crackled at the static in the air. They looked into each other’s eyes, neither daring to look away, not wanting to miss what was in front of them. Steve lifted his hand to touch the nape of Jimmy’s neck, sending him over the edge.

               “Screw the talking I had planned.” Jimmy pulled Steve into a strong embrace and led him into the backroom. He threw him down on the little straw bed he had made. “Oh Cherry Pie. I’ve waited for what seemed like an eternity for you.”

               “Sorry I kept you waiting,” Steve purred, pulling Jimmy to his lips. The two were intertwined, afraid of falling apart. Passions were rising, as the two began kissing and groping each other. The candle light flickered around them, creating a romantic glow. The two were in a world all of their own, nothing could tear them apart now.

               “Are you ready Cherry Pie?” Jimmy said looking lovingly into Steve’s eyes. Steve looked back at him, he was nervous but he was ready.

               “I’m always ready for you, Jimmy.” Jimmy looked like the luckiest man in the world, but that award must go to Steve. Jimmy stood back up to grab the lube, giving Steve a good look at his man. His heaving chest glistening with sweat, his rock hard abs perfectly in place. And his thighs, oh his thighs. Muscular, oiled. Oiled? Why are his thighs always oiled… Oh well. Jimmy placed a decent amount of lube in his hands and because this is the Amish au and this is a private matter, I think I’ll give these two some privacy.

                                                                                _3 hours later_

               Steve and Jimmy laid side by side staring up into the night sky. Steve didn’t know how this could get any better, but then it hit him. In less than 3 days he would be returning to his own life, his normal life. He tried his hardest to hide his sadness but to no avail. Tears started to fall from his eyes leaving warm, sad stains on Jimmy’s chest. “What’s wrong Cherry Pie?” Jimmy asked, lifting Steve’s head up looking into his sad dog eyes.

               “I have to leave soon. We will only be together for a few more days,” Steve said, hiding his eyes. Jimmy couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He knew it was true he just didn’t want to believe it. And then inspiration struck. “I’ll go with you.”

Steve looked at him in shock. He couldn’t believe this man would leave the only world he knew- for him. “No, I can’t ask you to do that for me. And besides they need you here.” Steve looked at Jimmy, knowing he crushed his love.

               “No, I want to be with you!”

Steve couldn’t take this anymore. He got up and quickly started to dress himself.

“Please.”  Jimmy begged.

Steve turned around, thinking about what to do next. “I’ll think about it.” And with that, he ran back to his room.

               Steve spent that night and the next day in bed or wandering around aimlessly. The sky was clouded over, giving off sad energy.

               “Hey Steve,” Paris said, walking towards him. “You doing okay. I just came from the blacksmith. He’s not doing too good.”

Steve looked down at his feet feeling worse than he already did.

“You know, if it means anything, anyone who would do that for someone is a keeper. And you should really think about his offer.”

Steve thought about what Paris had just said, thinking of an argument. “But I can’t do that to him. He doesn’t know anything outside of this. I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if he left and hated it, only to not be able to come back.” Steve said, sitting down on a stump.

               “Well, at the risk of sounding like an asshole, why don’t you stay here?” Steve and Paris sat there in silence staring at each other.

               “Can I do that?”

               “Only one way to find out. Come on, let’s go talk to the Father.” Paris grabbed Steve by the arm and ran him over to the chapel. “Father Castiel? Are you in here?” Paris walked all over the chapel yelling for the Father.

               “He’s not here,” said a mystery voice.

               “What? Where is he?” Paris asked, turning around.

               “He’s out by the creek with my brother.” It was Sam. He walked further into the sanctuary, stopping just before them. “You need to get down there as fast as possible. My Dean and Castiel are putting us all in danger.” He looked at Steve then Paris.

               “Sam, this is the 21st century. Things are different now, you can be whoever you want, and no one should be ashamed of it, not even your brother.” Paris spit out her words trying to hurt Sam.

               “You think I’m not okay with it? I’m completely fine with whatever my brother chooses to be and who he wants to be with. I’m just trying to keep everything normal so we can get out of here.”

Paris looked over at Sam in relief. But Steve on the other hand was hella confused.

               “Wait, wait, wait. What do you mean get everything back to normal?”

Sam looked at Steve, realizing he still had no idea what they were all doing there.

               “Sam, we can’t do this. You know we aren’t allowed to interfere,” Paris said, ignoring Steve’s question.

               “But we need to get going. We need to get out of this.”

Steve didn’t understand what was going on. He just stood there looking confused.

“If you want to break the rules, go ahead,” argued Paris. “But he needs to figure it out on his own.”

Sam and Paris kept on arguing back and forth until Steve had had enough.

               “HEY! Will one of you please tell me what’s going on?”

Paris and Sam looked at each other realizing they had no other choice.

               “You wanna tell him?” asked Sam. “It might mean more coming from someone he knows.”

               “Yeah. Okay. Steve sit down.” Paris looked over to Sam and took a deep breath before speaking. “So, this isn’t real life. Do you remember not wanting to come on this trip? What changed your mind?”

               “Yeah? I just felt as though it would do me some good. But I don’t have a specific reason why.”

               “I know why. You were drawn here for one specific reason. Jimmy. Did you feel something between you the two of you? Something strong, something you couldn’t live without for one more second?”

               Steve thought for a moment before answering. “Yes. I felt love, and a connection that felt so real.  It was as if I have been with him and known him for years. Which can’t be possible. We just met.”

Paris and Sam looked to each other. The hints weren’t working.

               “You have to go to Jimmy. Talk to him, one of you needs to make a decision.”

Steve looked to Sam and Paris, taking in all the information that he was given.

               “Okay. I’ll go. Where is he?”

               “He’s at his shop. Everything will make sense in time.  Now go to him.”

Steve ran out of the chapel towards the blacksmith shop. His heart was racing, what was he going to say? Words weren’t forming, he couldn’t even remember how to speak. But he knew he couldn’t wait any longer.

               “Jimmy! I need to talk to you!” Steve ran into his shop, looking all over. “Jimmy! Where are you!?”

               “Over here Steve.” Jimmy emerged from the forest carrying some firewood. “What can I do for you?” He seemed cold, professional, like he didn’t even want to see Steve. All Steve could think to do was to beg for his forgiveness.

               “Jimmy. Please hear me out. I’m sorry for how I reacted the other day. I just didn’t want you to regret making that decision and resenting me later in life if things didn’t work out. And I know you can’t come back once you leave for good. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.” Jimmy looked over at Steve, not breaking face. “I love you Jimmy, and I want to be with you more than anything in the world. Please, please forgive me.” Jimmy thought for a moment, walking to his stove to feed the fire.

               “Cherry Pie, I could never stay mad at you. I love you too much for that. But I don’t want you to leave and never see you again. I just can’t live with that. I’m going with you, like it or not,” Jimmy said with force.

               “NO! I can’t let you do that,” Steve yelled.

               “Why not?!” Jimmy was growing more and more frustrated.

               “Because if you leave, I’ll have no one here.” Steve looked at Jimmy with big eyes, hoping he would be okay with the compromise.

               “What are you talking about? You’d leave your life to live here? I thought you said you could never do it.”

               “That was before I knew I couldn’t live without _you_. It would be easier for me to come here than for you to live in my world. My games, my animes- those all mean nothing to me without you by my side.  I’m staying here, with you.” Steve walked closer to Jimmy trying to comfort him.

               A smile slowly took over Jimmy’s features. “Well, let’s get you moved in then!” he said, picking Steve up into a big hug then kissing him.

               “I’ll go get my things and let everyone know.” Steve rushed back to the rooms, surprised to see everyone there. “Hey guys, I’ve got some news. I’m going to be staying here to live with Jimmy.”

               “We know. We were all kinda betting on how long it would take you to realize this is where you belong,” Ashley said with a smirk.

               “We’re gonna miss you Food,” Kara said patting him on the arm.

               “Thanks guys, for everything. You really are great friends,” Steve said, tearing up. “Will you guys give my mom this note and tell her I love her?”

               “Of course man,” Gacé said, smacking Steve on the butt.

Matt looked over to Gacé, wondering where his butt smack was. “Oh here.” Gacé then smacked Matt on the butt.

               “That’s what I thought BB,” Matt said, returning the smack.

               “Now get out of here. Go start your new life.” Mrs. JJ came up to give Steve a big hug. “At least one of us found love on this trip.”

After the embrace, Steve gave the Rhythm Fusions one last look before turning to leave. They all smiled at him, hoping the best for young Steve. He collected one last mental image and went back to Jimmy to start his new life.

~~~~~

                As the week came to an end the Rhythm Fusions were all packed up and ready to board the bus.

               “Thank you all for visiting. It was so nice to have you,” Father Castiel said, holding his hands out in gratitude.

               “Thank you for having us. It was very educational and the kids loved it,” Mrs. JJ said glancing over to Dean.  “You know, Steve’s not the only one who could stay.”

               “Well he should be,” Dean replied sassily.

               “Well, you have a long trip back. We won’t keep you.” Father Castiel said, changing the subject and turning to look back into the crowd of well-wishers.

               “Well, I guess this is it,” Steve said, walking up to the Rhythm Fusions. “Get home safe. Write me if you want too.”

               “Oh we will. We’ll want to know how you’re doing. And we’ll come visit,” Ashley said, giving Steve a hug.

               “Good luck Steve. Hope everything goes well,” Colleen said, waving and getting on the bus.

Kara looked past Steve to Jimmy. “You take care of him you hear me? Or I will come back and cut you.”

               “Oh don’t worry. I won’t let anything bad happen to him,” Jimmy said, smiling at Steve. Steve had to look away to hide his tears. “Now you guys better get going to make it home before dinner.”

The Rhythm Fusions all gave Steve one last hug and good bye before getting on the bus.

               “Oh wait.” Kaia jumped down from the steps, digging through her bag. “Here. I had a feeling I would need this. Take it, something to remember us by.” Steve looked down to see a picture of them all, and without thinking began to cry.

               “Thank you Kaia. This is great.” Kaia smiled at him and went to the bus. Jimmy came up behind Steve, putting his arm around him for comfort.

               “It’s gonna be okay Cherry Pie. You’ll see them again. They won’t forget you.” He kissed Steve on the forehead.

               “I know. It’s just so emotional. They were a big part of my life. But I’m so excited to be starting a new one with you.” Steve looked up into Jimmy’s eyes but was distracted by the noise of the bus pulling away. They all watched as the big yellow bus rode down the dirt road, over the hill and into the sunset.  When the dust finally settled and the bus was no longer in sight, they went back home.


	81. The Deal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Father Parpar and Luci

_Amish AU universe, different location, about 5 years into the Future_

 

JJ knocked on the dark wood door and stepped back, waiting for a reply. When she got one, she grasped the gold doorknob and opened the door, closing it behind her. The room was dark, nearly pitch black. A single light shone from the center of the room, and in the dim light JJ could make out a big mahogany desk with a tall leather chair behind it. The light came from a green lamp on the desk.

               The leather chair swiveled around, revealing the person in it. He regarded her coolly as he stroked the white cat in his lap.

               “Have you decided?” he asked.                

               “Yes. I want to do it,” JJ said. “I’ve been ignored and rejected for far too long. It’s time I rewrite this story, my way.”

               He nodded slowly.  “Good choice, my dear.”

               “What’s the cost?  You mentioned a cost.”

               “The cost is that someone in the main cast, must die. And before this story is through,” he said. “No regeneration through different AUs, no magic spells to bring them back to life.  Their death will be permanent this time.”

               JJ flinched. “But-“

               “No negotiating,” he said. “You will get what you wish, and someone will die. That is, if that’s still what you want.”

               JJ hesitated.  “I never imagined someone would have to die-“

               “Do you want to spend the rest of eternity trapped in these worlds?  Worlds upon worlds where your fate is always the same. You’re cast aside, rejected by the two people you love most in the worlds.  Do you want to continue living your life as a side character?  Or do you want to take back what is rightfully yours, and become the protagonist of this and future worlds?  I cannot change anything without the proper death of a main character, and this deal is exactly what we both need to secure happier lives. Are you ready to take that leap?”

               “I am,” she said with determination.

               “Now go,” he said. “Get ready for your precious date.”

               JJ walked back towards the door- which was now a portal- her head held high, her clothes slowly transforming into what she would wear in the next universe.

               Saruman laughed a deep, maniacal laugh.  Things would soon fall into place.


	82. Amish Paradise Pt 4, 5 years into the Future (Amish AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Professor Ashlex

 Steve woke up on a warm Sunday morning, the sun was coming in through the windows and the smell of breakfast wafting through the air. He put on a nice plaid robe and went out to see what his husband had prepared.

               “Morning sunshine,” Jimmy said, putting a plate of bacon down on the table. “Just in time for breakfast.”

               “Smells good. I’m a little hungry from last night.” Steve winked and sat down at the table.

               “Well good. That was my intention.” Jimmy leaned in and kissed Steve tenderly. “But you better go change, we have company this morning.”

               “Ahh, that explains the amount of food. Alright, I’ll be right back.” Steve went back to their room to find his favorite pair of pants and his Plaid shirt.

               “Oh hey guys so nice of you to join us today!” Jimmy said, greeting the guests.

               “We wouldn’t miss this for the world.”

Steve heard familiar voices and excitedly ran out into the kitchen.

“What are you guys doing here?!” Steve said, hugging the Rhythm Fusions.

               “What? Do you not celebrate birthdays here?” Ashley said, jokingly. Steve looked at her in shock and surprise.

               “Oh my gosh, I must have forgotten! Jimmy, did you do this?” Jimmy couldn’t hide his loving gesture behind his stern face. “Thank you so much.”

               “Anything for you Cherry Pie,” Jimmy said, hugging Steve. “Now let’s dig in. I’m sure you all have a lot to catch up on.”

               The group spent all of breakfast chatting and laughing about everything that had gone on in the past 5 years. Everything was going well, until they heard Sam and Dean running up to the house.

               “Guys! Come out here! Somethings wrong!”

               “What the heck?” Jimmy went outside followed by the rest of the gang. “What’s going on?”

               “There’s a fog coming this way! We thought it was harmless but it- it swallowed the Father and Ezri. We thought Harry and Kevin would be here but now I’m thinking they were taken as well.” Sam was on his knees trying to catch his breath and trying not to break down. “It’s coming this way now. We only have seconds.”

               “Oh my gosh. Not again!” Colleen yelled.

               “What do you mean?” Steve asked

               “That’s the portal, or have you forgotten this isn’t our world?” Kara said, walking closer to the cloud.

               “This isn’t our world?  What do you mean this isn’t our world?  Guys what’s going on?!”

               “Well, it’s been a good time Cherry Pie. I’ll see you in the next universe,” Jimmy said pulling Steve into him.

               “JJ did it.  I can’t believe she did it,” said Sam.  “If I had only listened to her-“

               “No Sam,” said Dean.  “You can’t take all the blame here.  I’m at fault as well.”

               “Blaming ourselves now won’t do us any good.  We have to get out of here!”

               “But what about Ezri and Cas?  Kevin and Harry?  If we leave them now there’s no telling what’s going to happen to them!”

               “Dean’s right.  We have to go after our friends.  Are you guys all in?”

               The Rhythm Fusions all nodded.

               “I love you Steve.” Jimmy reached up and kissed Steve on the chin. “I know you don’t understand but you will in good time. For now, I need you to trust me. Can you do that?”

               Steve looked at the fog, then back at Jimmy. “I’ll always trust you.”

Everyone watched as the fog came out of the tree line, closing them in. The sparkling blue fog spilled around them, taking them into the next world.


	83. Bonus Story: The Boyfriend Farm

In the year 3679, things are different.  The normal dating system has deteriorated.  There is no more “dating,” but there is choosing.  Women now rule the world.  The men, many years ago, all contracted a rare disease that made them have uncontrollable boners and Viagra like symptoms.  Only a few survived.  With the decline of men came the rise of women.  As they should.  In order to be sure the human race lived on, they herded up all the remaining men and placed them into facilities called Human Male Testicular Rehabilitation and Preservation Laboratory, or HMTRPL.  They are commonly known as Man Labs, but they are more commonly known as the Boyfriend Farms.

This name came about when the young princess of the land, Princess Hatashima, was looking for a suitable partner.  She needed to find another boyfriend after her last one died of an erection that lasted for more than 48 hours.  And dehydration.  And also blood loss.  And also dysentery.  He was really unlucky.  But also hunky, oh so hunky.  Anyways, he’s dead so it doesn’t matter.  The princess was lonely, so she wanted to find a new bf, but that was a problem. If there was no boys left except in the farms, how was she to meet a new, even hunkier, bf?  She would have to go to the farms!  The Boyfriend Farms!  There she could browse through the wide selection of boyfriends that are available.

She met the farmer, a kind, old woman, with weathered skin and hands that looked as if they’ve plowed the earth for many years.  The farmer took the princess out into the grazing fields on her tractor.  It was a long ride, but when they got to the grazing fields the princess saw just how many boyfriends there were to choose from, and the ride had been worth it.  She spent the day perusing the grazing men, looking for the hunkiest one.  Each of the men wore only a napkin, so she could tell just how hunky each one was.  

That’s when she saw him. The perfect man.  He stood on the top of the hill, silhouetted against the setting sun, grazing gracefully.  She knew immediately in her heart that this was the hunk for her.  The farmer brought him to her and introduced him as Kevin.  Kevin seemed confused.  Who was this?  Where was she taking him?  But despite all this, he was looking forward to what the future held for him.

They drove back on the tractor, and the princess returned to her castle with Kevin.  The disease had been gone for many years, so she knew he would be safe.  And she made she made sure to keep him well fed and watered.  She also made sure to always keep a band aid on hand so he would lose too much blood.  She also made sure he was kept clean and he bathed every day, in order to protect him from dysentery.  She wasn’t about to lose this one the same was she lost the last one.

Word spread around the land about the princess’s wonderful luck with finding the perfect boyfriend from the Man Labs, that they all wanted to do it too!  Soon, the Labs were crawling with business, and thus the Boyfriend Farms were born!  

The End~


	84. Bonus Story II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Father Parpar

I had just gotten off the phone with my long time best friend, Ashley. It was one in the afternoon. I was just coming down the grand staircase that faced the foyer of my mansion when the doorbell rang. I stopped and stared at the door, my heart racing. The maid, Alice, rushed to the door, opening it just a crack.

“Who is it dear?” I asked her. She opened the door all the way to reveal a police officer.

“Ma’am,” he said. “I’m terribly sorry to say this, but your husband was found dead in his office today. The mysterious circumstances of his death are unknown as of the moment.”

I gasped and I felt my head go faint. I then collapsed down the stairs, falling onto the tile of the foyer, my robe fanning out around me. I faintly heard Alice and the officer rush over to me and start fanning me awake. I opened my eyes to the two of them standing over me.

“Are you alright miss?” asked the officer.

“Yes, I am quite alright,” I said, standing up on wobbly legs. “Please, leave me. I must mourn in peace.”

They both promptly left me, leaving me alone to rush up the stairs to my bedroom. Little did they know, I was not, in fact, mourning. But I would most certainly look the part.

I rushed to the nightstand beside the satin draped, four poster, king sized bed and flung the drawer open. I rifled through the useless papers inside until I found what I was looking for: the letter from Marge, the senator’s wife who lived two doors down. I opened it and reread it for the tenth time this morning since I got it. It read:

Dear Paris,

I know about your plan to kill your husband. If you are reading this, he is already dead. If you don’t transfer one million dollars into my account by Tuesday, I will turn you in for the murder of your husband.

Tread lightly with me.

Sincerely,

Marge

There wasn’t any chance in hell that that bitch would get my one million dollars. The letter fluttered onto the bed and I rushed to my closet. My black, velvet, evening gown was waiting for me. I got dressed, did my hair and makeup, and then went back to bedside drawer. In the secret compartment, there lay a diamond encrusted dagger, a gift from my dear, late grandmother. After hiding the dagger under my skirt, I left the house, making my way to Marge’s mansion two doors down. People stopped in their cars when they saw me walk past. Lawn care men stopped and stared. The mailman froze, his mouth hanging open. I ignored them all as I stepped up to the front door of Marge’s estate. I knocked on the door and it only took a few seconds before a maid answered it. I kicked the door the rest of the way open and shoved the maid to the ground. There were voices coming from the smoking lounge. She must be in there.

When I entered the smoking lounge, I found Marge and her husband lounging about, smoking cigars. My confident stride took me right up to Marge. I lifted my skirt to reveal the dagger, took it out, and stabbed Marge right in the eye! I stabbed her in the face over and over.

Then I turned to stab her husband, but in his surprise, he had dropped his cigar on the carpet, which had caught fire. He was trapped in the flames, so I dropped the knife and ran from the house.

As I walked back home, the flames of Marge’s mansion behind me, I thought to myself, Mission complete.

Little did I know, my mission was, in fact, not complete.

When I got back home, I retired to my bedroom once more. The letter was still on my bed. It must be burned, to remove all evidence. I walked it over to the fireplace, which was on the wall across from my bed. Just as I was about to toss it into the crackling flames, I saw something shimmer at the bottom of the page. Could it be? A secret note? I help it up against the light of the fireplace. At the bottom of the page, there was indeed a secret note. It read:

P.S. You should know that your husband has been cheating on you all this time with the old woman at the 7-11!

I gasped and dropped the letter, placing my shaking hands over my heart. The letter fluttered down, landing in the fire and burning up. What was I to do? Rage consumed me. Of course, I knew that I shouldn’t have been angry, I had been dating a young man and a young woman for a few years now myself without my husband’s knowledge. But he had no right! He was ninety years old! Who would date him? How could he cheat on me, his young, beautiful, dutiful wife?!

But I knew who would date him. The 7-11 woman.

I made my decision at that exact moment. The 7-11 woman must die.

But my dagger was left, back in the raging fire of Marge’s home. I looked about the room to find something, anything that I could use to kill the 7-11 woman. Then I saw it. My late husband’s katana collection, hanging with pride above the fireplace. I reached up and grabbed the one on the bottom. Sliding the sheath off an inch, I looked at the immaculate blade, seeing my reflection in its shining surface. I closed it again, and hid it under my skirt, much the same way I did with the dagger. Then I pulled out my rose gold IPhone 7 and called up an uber.

Within moments, the uber driver arrived. I stepped out onto my porch, but the moment I laid eyes on the uber driver, who was surprisingly driving a horse and carriage, I froze. The driver was none other than my best friend’s gross prom date from high school, Charles. I averted my gaze, hoping he wouldn’t recognize me. But when I looked back at him, he didn’t seem to know who I was. What a relief. I rushed down the steps and got into the carriage. As we rode to 7-11, I peeked out the curtained window to see if Charles was paying attention to me. He wasn’t. I lifted the bottom of my skirt and looked at the katana that was still there. Then I hid it again before Charles happened to look.

We finally arrived at the 7-11 and I got out and went inside. Right away, I saw my target. The 7-11 woman. She was behind the counter.

“Can I help you with anything?” she asked.

“Yes, I would like lotto number seven,” I said, pointing at the lotto display.

“Okay,” she said. As she was fiddling with the ticket I had asked for, I snuck up behind her, behind the desk. I lifted my skirt, pulled the katana from my leg and slowly took off the sheath, letting it drop from my hand onto the ground. Then I struck with one swift swipe. The 7-11 woman stood there frozen for a whole ten seconds before her head slid off of her shoulders, tumbling to the ground. The head rolled exactly three times, stopping to face me, a horrible expression frozen on her face. Then her body slumped and fell to the ground. Blood spurted from her severed neck, leaving a pool of blood on the tile and getting on my shoes. Then I dropped the katana, letting it hit the ground with a clang.

I looked around, looking for a way to sneak out, but then I saw flashing lights in the parking lot outside. There, in the lot, several police cars were parked around the carriage. Charles was pointing at me through the window, talking to one of the officers.

I stumbled away from the headless body and frantically looked for an escape route. But all too soon, the officers came in and grabbed me, pulling my hands back and cuffing me.

“You’ll never catch me alive!” I screamed, my hair falling out of place and into my eyes. “You have no proof! You’ll never catch me alive!”

But they did catch me alive. And in the end, I was taken to prison for my multiple homicides. And as I stood there holding up my name plate, my hair a mess and mascara running down my cheeks, I wondered…Where did it all go wrong?


	85. JJ’s Perfect Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Father Parpar

The unmistakable rumble of the Impala’s engine sounded from outside. JJ hopped off the couch and grabbed her sunglasses on her way out the door. She was totally ready for today!

               She put the sunglasses on when she got outside, the sun glaring in her eyes. She wore her favorite green and purple sundress that day and her hair was as fab as evaaa! She skipped down her drive to the shining Impala waiting in the street. Sure enough, there was Sam and Dean sitting inside waiting for her. Sam got out of the passenger side door and let JJ slide in. Then Sam got in after her. JJ sat in the middle on the bench seat.

               “You ready, JJ?” asked Dean.

               “You know I am!” she said.

               “Awesome.”

               Dean shifted the car into gear and drove off.

               *I Get Around, by the Beach Boys started playing. The Impala sped down the streets of their seaside town in southern Cali. It was a hot summer day and the sidewalks were filled with people out and about. Everyone stopped and stared as the Impala roared by. They all knew who drove that car: the Winchester Brothers. Those boys always take their car and they’ve never been beat. And they’ve never missed yet with the girls they meet.

               All the windows were down in the car, letting the summer wind in to blow JJ’s hair around. She looked over at Sam to see if his hair was a mess from the wind too, but it wasn’t. Sam’s hair is always perfect. Always.

               “So, where to first boys?” asked JJ.

               Dean stopped the car at a red light. “We were thinking about goin over to the fair that’s in town. What’d’ya think?”

               “Sounds fun,” she said.

               Just then, a glimmering red Aztek pulled up to the light next to the Impala. Dean looked over and locked eyes with the baddest gang in town: The Rhythm Fusions. There, sitting in the driver’s seat of the Aztek, was Paris, Dean’s arch nemesis in races. In the passenger seat was their leader, Ashley. Dean couldn’t see in the back seat, but he was sure it was full. Paris glared at him and revved her engine. Dean glared back and revved his (more impressive) engine.

               “Well, well, well,” said Paris. “Look what we have here. It’s the Winchester boys and their new date for the day.”

               “You’re gonna eat those words!” said Sam, leaning out of his window. “With a side of crow!”

               Paris smirked and hung an elbow out of her window. “I feel like you wanna race me or something,” she said, revving her engine again.

               “Well, you’d be right,” said Dean.

               They both watched as the other lights turned yellow and then red, waiting for the moment for their own to turn green.

               As soon as it turned, the two cars sped off, kicking up dust from the road. They sped down the empty highway, neck and neck. JJ held onto Sam’s arm during the crazy ride. They whipped around corners and caught air off of hills. Paris was fast, but Dean somehow managed to get in front of her and block her from getting ahead.

               They passed the road marker and slowed down, Dean smiling huge from his victory. There was a little ice cream shop off the beach up ahead and they pulled into the gravel lot. Dean, Sam, and JJ all got out of the Impala and high fived each other. What a rush! JJ was still buzzing with the excitement of the race as the Rhythm Fusions got out of the Aztek. Paris and Ashley got out first, then the back doors opened, letting out way more people than what seemed to fit in the car: Matt, Kara, Kaia, Gacé, Colleen, Nathan, Zach, Madison, Josh, and Colin Creevy.

               Paris walked over to Dean.

               “Good race,” she said and held out her hand. They shook. “And sorry about what I said about you, JJ. We cool?”

               “We’re cool,” said JJ.

               “Cool. Hey, by the way, there’s gonna be a party down at the beach later tonight. You all should come. Everybody’s gonna be there,” she said. The other RF’s nodded in agreement.

               “Maybe we’ll show up,” said Dean.

               “What do you think, JJ?” asked Sam.

               “Sounds like a lot of fun,” she said.

               “See ya there,” said Paris with a wink. Then all the RF’s got back into the Aztek and drove off. As they retreated around the bend, Dean said, “What do you say we get some ice cream in celebration for that sweet win?”

               “I could definitely go for some ice cream,” said JJ.

               “Me too,” said Sam.

               They all got huge ice cream cones, then walked across the street to the beach. They sat in the sand and ate their ice cream while watching the surfers way out on the waves.

               After that, they got back to the car and drove off to The Pier. The Pier is the fair that’s out on the docks, over the water. They parked in the back, a habit of Dean’s so that no one messed with his car, and then they went to the fair.

               They rode all the rides, all of them, and played all the games. Sam and Dean both won JJ several stuffed animals. And at the end of the night, when all the lights on the rides went on, they went on the Ferris wheel. JJ sat in the middle. When the wheel stopped and they were right on top, JJ could see the entire fair and the docks all the way out. The lights of the rides reflected off the water, creating colorful, sparkling waves. It was beautiful. But not as beautiful as the two boys sitting next to her. She held their hands as they began the descent back down.

               It had just gotten dark and the night was still young. Sam and Dean took JJ to a country bar after the fair for dinner. While there, they had the best burgers they ever tasted, except for Sam who had a salad. All of a sudden, as they were finishing up and talking, music started up from the other side of the club. They looked and saw that a band was playing and people were getting up to join in the line dances on the floor.

               “Yeah! Let’s go!” said JJ, getting up. Sam and Dean followed her to the dance floor and they all joined in on The Boot Scootn’ Boogie. One song after another rolled by and JJ was having too good of a time to stop. Country Girl, Honky Tonk Badonkadonk, Footloose, Baby Likes to Rock It, Dizzy, Good Time, Watermelon Crawl, Fake ID…the trio was just having a ball.

               The band eventually stopped and the three of them left, hooting and hollering and slightly tipsy. They revved up the Impala and drove to the beach.

               They could hear the music blasting before they even saw the party. When they parked the car off the beach and made their way to the party, they could clearly see that Paris wasn’t joking when she said “everybody’s gonna be there”. There were the Rhythm Fusions, all the Crazy 8’s, even the Heat Seekers were there. Gandalf and Dumbledore were there, along with Sam and Dean’s friends too. Charlie and Ezri were partying with the Rhythm Fusions while Ash looked like he was on his fiftieth beer. Jo was being flirted at by some guys and Benny was discussing the different types of surf boards with Colin Creevy. Harry was showing Kevin some card tricks, and Steve and Jimmy K. were unabashedly making out right in front of everyone. Jimmy’s gang was there too. Spock was winning in a drinking match against Chekov and Sulu. Uhura was dancing with the RF’s, and Scotty was puzzling over Colin Creevy’s car, which was parked right on the beach, while Bones was chatting it up with a group of girls. There were also a bunch of other people JJ didn’t know, all drinking and dancing to the blasting music.              

               *The song Dancing in the Moonlight came on just then.

               “I love this song!” said JJ. She pulled the boys into the mix and they fell right into the beat. They danced around each other, losing themselves in the music.

               One of the waves reached way up the beach, splashing over everyone’s feet. The tide was coming in and everyone cheered for it. A lot of the party goers jumped right into the foamy tide, splashing and playing in the water. Dean splashed JJ and Sam with water. JJ stripped her sundress off to reveal a super cute bathing suit and they both chased Dean out into the water. He swam away from them, but they caught him and splashed him back. They were in deep water, treading. They laughed and joked for a while, listening to the party raging on and others joining them in the water. They got back to the shore and JJ found her dress, slipping it back on.

               “Hey! You made it!”

               They turned and found Paris standing there, holding out three beers to them. They took the beers.

               “Yeah, this party is hoppin,” said Dean.

               “Yeah, we got a lot more people than we expected,” she said. “I think the word got around.”

               She left them to join her friends and the trio started walking down the shore.

               Their bare feet left footprints in the sand which were quickly washed away by the water. They walked and laughed with each other until the sound of the party faded away. JJ pointed to a rocky ledge over the water. They all went up and sat down on it, looking out at the ocean. They sipped at their beers. The moon and stars were bright in the sky and they reflected off of the water. They sat there in a comfortable silence, listening to the waves. *The song, I’ve had the Time of My Life started playing. Dean set down his beer and stood up. He stripped down till he was wearing nothing and dove right off the ledge into the water. JJ and Sam watched him surface and shake water off his face. They both got up and did the same, diving in after him. The water was warm on this end of the shore. They stood in the water letting the gentle waves lap at them as they tangled around each other, enjoying their privacy.

               Just then, the stars on the water seemed to multiply and lift off of the water. They all danced around the trio, then they started swirling around them, making them dizzy. They kept multiplying until there was nothing but white light all around and they disappeared and went into the next world.


	86. Queen of the West (Drag Queen AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By: Father Parpar

Stefanie ordered Dean and Sam to go and draw all the blinds, while she clicked on the single desk lamp. She sat down in the chair behind the desk and had everyone line up behind her. Kevin was at the door, ready to open it for the guests.

               Narrator: “Meanwhile, the Rhythm Fusion gang was getting ready to enter the office. Paris was just outside the door, fixing their hair and making sure their lipstick was perfectly on fleek. They adjusted their suit jacket and then lifted a hand to knock…”

               “Answer the door,” said Stefanie.

               As Paris entered the room, Stefanie spun around in the chair to face them.

               “How do you do, darlings?” Stefanie drawled.

               Paris smirked and said, “Wonderful. I see you have everyone here with you today. So do I. Now. Shall we?”

               “But of course,” said Stefanie, gesturing to the chair. Paris sat down. “Now, down to business. My products are going missing. There are no signs of break-ins. You couldn’t possibly be responsible for this, now could you?”

               “Ha! Silly girl, how dare you insinuate we have anything to do with that,” Paris said vaguely threateningly.

               “I have reason to believe that you aren’t as trustworthy as you ought to be,” Stefanie said sassily.

               “Well, maybe you _ought_ to believe the same thing of your own employees,” said Paris, glancing up at some of the TFW members.

               Narrator: “Meanwhile, standing behind Stefanie, Dean began to sweat.”

               Stefanie narrowed her eyes. “What are you _implying_?” she spat.

               Paris chuckled and said, “Dean, why don’t you tell Stefanie Savage that you’ve been smuggling her product to my warehouse for weeks now.”

               Paris and their gang burst out laughing. Stefanie jumped out of her chair and, with the small pistol she carefully hid up her skirt, shot Paris right between the eyes. The whole room gasped as Paris collapsed to the floor in a heap. Then, faster than anyone could blink, everyone in the room pulled out guns, pointing them at each other.

               Narrator: “The room fell into chaos. The shootout lasted only moments, however, because the TFW’s killed off all of the RF’s quite quickly. And as the last RF fell, Stefanie stood up and shot Dean dead. Knowing the others, notably Sam, would turn on her, Stefanie ran from the office and outside, leaving behind her gang and the woeful cries of her boyfriend, Jimmy.”

               Stefanie stumbled along the path, up into the mountains. The desert sun beat down on her and the dry, desert bushes tore at her skirt and stockings.

               “Dammit, these tights are full of runs now,” Stefanie mourned.

               Narrator: “Meanwhile, Jimmy K left the group and went in search of his girlfriend somewhere out in the desert. Little did they both know, the remaining TFW’s were also in search of Stefanie, but for an entirely different reason.”

               Stefanie was up in the hills, the silent highway down below, cutting across the desert. Stefanie froze when she heard a twig snap. She turned around, gun drawn, to see rustling in the bush. She shot three rounds into the bush before the person hidden within tumbled out, falling to the ground. Stefanie warily snuck over to the body, whose puddle of blood was slowly expanding. She rolled him over. To her great horror, she found that the body she had shot was none other than…Jimmy!

               “No!” Stefanie clutched at the shirt of her boyfriend in agony. “NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!”

               As she wept over the man she loved, she heard another twig snap, breaking her out of her mournful state. She turned her tearful eyes to the source, reaching for her gun again. As she crept towards the rock, from which the sound came from, she heard a voice.

               Narrator: “While Stefanie mourned the loss of her boyfriend, the TFW’s were getting close to her location, with every intention of killing her. Killing the boss that they have followed all these years, who had seemingly snapped, finally going mad.”

               Stefanie rounded the corner and pointed her gun right in the face of the narrator.

               “Wait! Please don’t shoot!” said the narrator, putting their hands up in defense. “I’m just the narrator! I’m not in the story!”

               “Liar! You’re a spy, aren’t you?” shouted Stefanie.

               “No! I swear, I really am the narrator!” the narrator cried desperately.

               A whole bunch ‘o voices rose up from around the corner. It was the TFW’s. Stefanie grabbed the narrator, placing her arm around their neck and the gun against their head. Then she shuffled the both of them out of hiding to face the TFW’s

               “Lower your guns or I’ll shoot them,” said Stefanie. She pressed the gun harder into the narrator’s temple, making them wince.

               “Please, don’t shoot them,” said Harry. “We can talk this out.”

               “Ha! Bullshit!” said Stefanie. “You know damn well as soon as I lower my gun, Sam will shoot me. I killed his brother dammit! I killed my boyfriend! There is no ‘ _talking this out_ ’!”

               Another twig snapped, just then, this time from behind the TFW’s. They all turned around and shot wildly, hitting in the chest several times….…me?

               I can’t believe I got shot…this…this can’t be happening…as I fell to the ground, taking my final breath,    the sound of a horn came from below. Everyone looked as a huge convoy of trucks drove by on the highway. Stefanie used this as a distraction and shoved the narrator into the group, making Harry and Cas catch them, the group stumbling about and falling. Stefanie took off running down the hill towards the highway.

               But before the TFW’s could follow, a haze of thick, truck exhaust clouded over everyone, taking them into the next univhhhhhh……………………


	87. Convoy (Convoy AU)

 

They were in Arizona, noon, on the seventh of June when they highballed over the pass. Dean “Rubber Duck” Winchester was traveling in his trusty truck.  There was no one else to be seen for miles out on the lonely desert road except for his brother, Sam “Spider Sam” Winchester and their friend Castiel in their trucks.  Castiel was known to the truckin’ world as “Pig Pen,” but Dean usually referred to him as the “Love Machine” of the open road.

               Dean turned on his CB radio and listened in for any commotion among the other two truckers.  After a minute, he said “Ah, breaker one-nine, this here’s the Rubber Duck. You got a copy on me, Love Machine?”

               Cas responded, “Ah, 10-4, fer shure, fer shure. By golly, it’s clean clear to Taco Town. Yeah, we definitely got us the front door, good buddy.  Mercy sakes alive, looks like we got us a convoy.”

               Dean nodded his head and placed the transmitter back in its place in the truck.  The three of them were headed home to Texas to see Spider Sam’s wife, Ezri.  She was pregnant with their first, and Sam wanted to be there for when his kid entered the world.  Dean and Cas were helping him on his way home.

               A voice came in over the CB.  “Ah, Rubber Duck, we got a 10-100 situation here.”

               Dean rolled his eyes.  “10-4, Spider Sam, I could go for some grub anyways.  Love Machine you copy?”

               Cas responded.  “Hear ya, loud and clear.  There’s a pickle park up ahead.”

               The three truckers pulled up to the rest area, and parked their trucks.  They then made their way into the restaurant, named James’s Glide-In.

               The three truckers made their way to the counter and sat down.  Dean sat next to a red haired lady who was crying into her plate of mashed potatoes and molasses.  She was the only other person in the dinner.

               They all ordered from a young man wearing round glasses, then waited for their dinner, no sound to be heard except the quiet weeping of the red headed girl.

               Dean, not wanting to be rude but still wanting to help in some way, turned to the girl.  “Uh, Miss?”

               She looked up at him, wiping her eyes on a napkin.

               “I couldn’t help but to notice that something seems to be troubling you.”

               “Oh, it’s nothing I guess,” she responded, warily. “It’s just that my car broke down and I need to be in Dallas in a week but I have no way of getting there.  I’m stuck in the middle of nowhere, and I just used the last of my money to buy these potatoes and they’re not even good.”

               “Well, that’s because they have molasses on them.”

               She chuckled.  “True.  I’m Charlie.” She offered him her hand.

               “The names Dean.  This is Sam and Cas.”

               The two men nodded to her.

               “Ma’am, now I don’t want to be overstepping my boundaries, but we’re headed to Dallas as well to see Sam’s wife.  We could always drop you somewhere, if you’d like.”

               Before she could answer, the front doors opened, the bell ringing and echoing throughout the diner.  An older man wearing the uniform of a sheriff stepped through the doors, a cigar in his mouth.  He snuffed it out on the counter and threw the butt to the floor.  He walked into the dinner, spurs clanking.  Behind him followed two other town clowns, dressed in similar uniforms to the sheriff.

               The young man behind the counter glared at him. “Sheriff Saruman.”

               “Hello, James.”  He turned his attention to Dean and said, “Rubber Duck.”

               “Hello there, Saruman.”

               “What do you think you’re doing here?”

               “Just enjoyin’ a nice meal with these folks. We have no fight here, Sheriff.”

               “You had better not, Duck.”

               The sheriff took his seat at a table, his two men following closely behind him.  Dean recognized them as Officers Lucius Malfoy and Kendall.  He turned his attention back to Charlie.

               “So sorry about them, ma’am.  However, my offer still stands.  You can ride with me in my truck if you’d like.  I’ll get you to Texas, no problem at all.”

               “Well, I don’t have much of a choice, seeing as I haven’t got another ride.”

               “That’s the spirit.”

               The sheriff came up behind Charlie and placed a hand on her shoulder.  “Ma’am, I’m afraid I can’t let you go with them.  These men are a danger to society.  I cannot morally allow you to leave with them.”

               She brushed his hand off her shoulder.  “I think I can judge a man’s character for myself, thank you very much.”

               Sam rose from his seat at the counter. “Sheriff, I hardly doubt you’re the best candidate to judge who is and isn’t a danger to society.”

               The sheriff glared at Sam.  The two of them shared a past and neither of them trusted the other to cut their own toenails.

               “Hello Spider, it’s been a while,” the Sheriff said, staring Sam down where he stood.

               “Not long enough, Sheriff,” Sam replied.

               “Now, come on boys,” Dean said, stepping between them.  “Sheriff, we don’t want any trouble.  We’re just trying to get Sam here home to see his wife and soon-to-be newborn.”

“He’s got some serious beaver fever,” Cas said, looking up from his food.

Dean nodded then said, “We just stopped to get some grub, take a leak, then we’ll be back on the road.”

               Saruman nodded.  “Same with me and my boys.  You cause no trouble and you’ll see no trouble, understand?”

               “”Course Sheriff.”

               “As long as you follow your own terms,” Sam growled.

               “Sam,” Dean said.  “Eat your potatoes.”

               Sam glared at the Sheriff but listened to Dean. He sat back down next to Cas and shoved a fork full of potatoes into his mouth.

               Dean nodded to the officers before doing the same. The diner was uncomfortably silent, the clinking of silverware the only sound to be heard.  Charlie was still seated next to Dean.  She had finished eating and was looking down at her plate, praying the boys would finish and take her out of the diner before one of the officer’s recognized her.

               After a few minutes of the silence, the waiter with the round glasses made his way out of the kitchen and grabbed Charlie’s empty plate.  Dean felt bad for the guy.  Having to deal with three truckers along with the cops was probably not his idea of an ideal afternoon.

               Soon enough, the truckers finished their meals and paid.  They stood up from their seats, ready to leave and get back on the road.  Charlie stood up as well, perhaps a little too quickly. Her seat crashed to the ground, causing the officers to turn their heads and look at her.

               Officer Kendall looked at her, confusion covering his face.  “Say, aren’t you-“

               “I can assure you we’ve never met before,” Charlie said quickly, glancing to Dean for help.

               “No, I do know you,” he said, standing up from his seat and walking towards her.  “You’re Miss Charlie Bradbury, and, if I’m not mistaken, you’re wanted in four states.”

               “Five states,” Officer Malfoy corrected, rising out of his chair.

               Dean stepped in front of Charlie.  “Now officers, I thought we agreed on no trouble.”

               “This isn’t your fight, Duck,” said Saruman through a mouthful of potatoes.  He had yet to stand up with his fellow officers.  He turned his gaze to Charlie.  “Now, Miss Bradbury, we can do this the easy way, or the hard way.”

               “I’d think I’d prefer to just leave.”

               “Not an option.  Go ahead boys.”

               Malfoy and Kendall started to approach Charlie while Saruman continued to eat his potatoes.  Just as Kendall was about to grab Charlie, Dean stepped in front of her and threw a punch directly at Malfoy’s jaw.

               Dean’s fist collided with the officer’s jaw, causing him to stumble backwards.  Blood pooled near to corner of his mouth.  Malfoy dragged the back of his hand across his mouth and glanced down at the blood before jumping towards Dean, fists flying.

               Officer Kendall saw the fight and attempted to step in, only to be stopped by a kick in the chest from Cas.  Kendall turned to Cas and punched him in the nose.

               Saruman soon joined the fight.  The three officers and three truckers were brawlin’- fists and feet flying.  Saruman took his handcuffs out of his pocket and attempted to cuff Sam’s hands behind his back, but Sam was too quick.  He grabbed the cuffs and attached one end to Saruman’s wrist and the other to a bar stool. Saruman reached to grab the key out of his pocket, but it fell onto the floor, and Cas kicked it out of his reach. Dean grabbed Charlie’s hand, and the three truckers and Charlie ran from the diner, leaving behind two blacked out officers and one angry sheriff.

               “Wait!” Sam said, walking to the police cars instead of back to his truck.  “Let’s slow them down a bit.”  Sam and Cas set to work, pulling the spark plug wires and distributor caps out of the police cars.  

               After their bit of dirty work, the truckers hopped into their trucks, deciding to make their way towards the state line and to Sam’s wife.

**

               Dean and Charlie rode in silence for a while, not exactly sure of what to say to each other.  Dean was used to dealing with hardened criminals, cheaters and liars, but he wasn’t sure of what to make of Charlie.  Anyone wanted in four states wasn’t someone Dean fancied messing with.

               Charlie cleared her throat.  “I’d like to thank you for helping me out in the diner.”

               “Not a problem, ma’am.  We’re not too friendly with the police either.  But, if you don’t mind me asking, what does one do to be wanted in four states?”

               “Five states, actually.  It’s quite a long story.”

               “I understand.  I don’t wish to overstep my boundaries.”

               “Thank you.”

               Just then, Cas’s voice sounded over the CB radio. “Ah, Rubber Duck, we’ve got a situation.”

               “What’s up Love Machine?” Dean asked.

               “Cops, coming up quick.  Could be Saruman.”

               Dean cursed under his breath.  He turned to Charlie and said, “Sorry you had to hear that,” then he said into the CB, “10-4, Love Machine.  Spider, you copy?”

               “I’m here,” said Sam.

               Dean turned to Charlie again.  “Any suggestions?”

               She shrugged.  “I’d drop the hammer.  Get outta here as fast as possible.  Those cops won’t be too friendly after what happened at the diner.”

               “Right.  Ok, Love Machine, Spider, let’s drop the hammer.  We’re gonna try to out run these bears.”

               Ahead of Dean, Sam’s truck sped up, and Dean followed, matching his speed.  Cas, who was behind Dean, followed pursuit.  Unfortunately, so did the cop cars.

               Dean swore again.  He knew his truck couldn’t outrun a couple of cop cars, they were smaller and more agile.

               One of the cop cars had caught up to Dean’s truck, sirens blaring and lights flashing.  It kept going, pulling up to Sam’s truck, attempting to get him to pull over or slow down.

               Dean said into the radio, “Don’t you stop, Spider, we’re not gettin’ caught now.”

               Sam’s truck didn’t slow down, but neither did the cops.  There was seven cop cars now, all of them in hot pursuit of the convoy.  Three of them were in front of Sam, the rest were behind Cas’s truck.  They were surrounded, and Dean was out of ideas.

               “Dean!” Charlie said, frantically pointing out the passenger side window.  It was one of the cop cars.  The driver had his window pulled down and a gun pointed at Dean’s truck.

               “That’s Officer Malfoy!” Dean said, staring down to cop.  “No way is he shootin’ my baby.  Hold on to something Charlie, it’s ‘bout to get rough.”

               Dean gripped the steering wheel and pulled it to the right, causing his truck to drift into the cop car.  Malfoy lost control.  He dropped the gun and gripped the steering wheel, but it was too late. The car started to spin off of the road, when it flipped over into a ditch at the side of the road.  Smoke was rising from the car, and Malfoy was nowhere to be seen.

               Dean cheered to himself, until he heard Cas’s voice over the CB.

               “Ah, Rubber Duck, what was that about?”

               “Love Machine, Spider, watch out!  They’ve got guns!”

               As soon as those words left his mouth, Dean heard a gunshot go off in the distance.

               A voice came over the CB.  “It’s Spider, they’ve shot my passenger side window. I’m fi-“

               Another gun shot.

               “Rubber Duck we’ve got to get out of here!”

               There was now ten cop cars on their tails, none of them too happy about what Dean did to Officer Malfoy.

               “They’re too damn fast!” Dean said to Charlie. Something on the right side of the road caught Dean’s eye.  It was a sign which read “Exit 2 Miles.”  A distant memory surfaced in Dean’s mind, which sparked an idea that would hopefully save the convoy.

               “Sam, slow down!”

               “Duck I don’t think-“

               “Let me get around you.  We can lose these suckers yet.”

               Reluctantly, Sam let off the gas.  The cop cars shot ahead, not realizing what the drivers of the convoy had planned.  Dean cut around Sam, nudging a few cop cars out of the way in the process.  Soon, Dean was the leader of the convoy, and they were back at full speed.

               “What do you plan on doing?” Charlie questioned, not sure she like the evil glint in Dean’s eye.

               He ignored her.  “Spider, Love Machine, imma need you to trust me.  Follow me no matter what, understand?”

               “10-4 Duck,” said Cas.

               “You sure you know what you’re doing?” Sam asked.

               “Nope,” Dean responded.

               “Good enough for me.”

               Dean turned to Charlie.  “ _This_ is when it gets interesting.”

               Dean’s truck was in the center lane on the highway, Sam and Cas directly behind him.  Several more cop cars had joined the chase, surrounding the convoy on all sides. The gap between two of the cars to Dean’s right were just wide enough for him to squeeze his truck through.

               “Perfect,” he muttered, and turned his truck sharply to the right.

               The two cop cars he drove past spun off the road, having had to slam on the brakes to avoid becoming roadkill under the tires of Dean’s truck.  He barreled off the highway and onto the dusty road that was practically hidden. Dean knew of this road from a long time ago, but he wasn’t sure it would still lead him too…

               “Rubber Duck!” it was Cas.

               Dean listened into the CB.  “Love Machine, what’s wrong?”

               “We’re being followed!”

               Dean glanced out his side mirrors.  Sam and Cas had made it onto the narrow road in front of the cop cars, but the cops were still coming.  However, the loose dirt and gravel of the road made it hard for the smaller cars to follow them.  Soon enough, the cops all fell behind, leaving the convoy to speed away.

               Not soon after the cop cars were out of sight Sam’s voice sounded over the CB.  “Duck? Where are we headed?”

               The sky had been growing steadily darker since they escaped the cops.  Rain would be falling soon.  Dean looked to the sky and said to Sam, “An old friend’s house.  I just hope he welcomes us.”


End file.
